1
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,386
- [door slams]
- [keys jangle]
2
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,639
[lock cranks]
3
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,182
[door slams]
4
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,020
- [hip-hop music plays]
- [buzzer sounds]
5
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:29,446
[grunting]
6
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:34,284
[grunting]
7
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,328
[grunting] Mmm!
8
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,496
Hey, Glenda!
9
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,041
You got some
swole-lookin' pecs there, girl.
10
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:41,958
[groans]
11
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,960
[man] Marlowe, you got a visitor.
12
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,378
[groaning]
13
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,464
Oh, God, Dusty! I've missed you so much.
14
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,759
Gina, please don't press
your bare b-hole to the glass.
15
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,469
It looks like a hungry suckerfish.
16
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,263
Oh, that's it!
I'm busting you out of here.
17
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:59,350
Gina, I told you,
I don't want to leave because...
18
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,437
♪ I love it in this women's penitentiary ♪
19
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,939
♪ Lucky I got sentenced to a century ♪
20
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,901
♪ It's like a slumber party
that never ends ♪
21
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,612
♪ You call 'em soulless, violent felons
I call 'em best friends ♪
22
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:12,155
♪ I call 'em best friends ♪
23
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:15,116
♪ My cellmate's always prankin' me
Her favorite one is shankin' me ♪
24
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,577
♪ And silly Donna Cooper
stuck a mopstick up my pooper ♪
25
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,204
♪ Thank god for my buried dingus ♪
26
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:24,834
♪ It's like 4-H camp, plus cunnilingus! ♪
27
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,921
♪ I'm so thankful that I got a century ♪
28
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,465
♪ With my besties
in this women's penitentiary ♪
29
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:33,093
[grunts]
Y'all a bunch of stinkers.
30
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,888
Mmm, love the song.
31
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:39,557
Now, can you hum it
directly into the phone?
32
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,851
Ugh! No way, Gina!
33
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,394
[strained humming]
34
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,230
[Gina moans and gasps]
35
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:46,356
Oh, God!
36
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,152
Well, that'll get me to lunch. [exhales]
37
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,208
You're innocent, you shouldn't be in here.
38
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,115
This is all that twatwaffle Kevin's fault.
39
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,908
I need you, and I am busting you out.
40
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,536
You've failed to bust me out of here
every day,
41
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:03,081
and your schemes are becoming
more and more Wile E. Coyote-like.
42
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,416
Oh, don't be ridiculous, Dusty.
43
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:06,918
[rocket fizzes]
44
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:11,047
[Dusty gasps and grunts]
45
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,259
[engine stutters]
46
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,848
[air whistling]
47
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,224
[loud crash]
48
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,604
[cartoonish musical fanfare]
49
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:28,940
[Crawford roars]
50
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,066
[gunshots firing]
51
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,150
[Fitz grunts]
52
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,111
[Gina yells]
53
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:34,611
[gasps, moans]
54
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,156
[Bullet exhales]
55
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,704
[narrator] Welcome to Paradise.
56
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:45,623
Once the angry, puckered asshole
of planet Earth,
57
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:49,878
it has been transformed
into the jewel of America's Heartland.
58
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:54,090
Visit the Paradise Zoo
without fear of being raped by a gorilla.
59
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,216
[gorilla whines]
60
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,051
Or zookeeper Dave.
61
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,135
[sighs]
62
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,781
- [men grunt and laugh]
- Afraid of hillbillies? Don't worry.
63
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:04,601
Even the worst citizens
are now contributing members of society.
64
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,812
- We used to be violent crackheads.
- Now we're scientists,
65
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,896
thanks to these lab coats
we found in the dumpster.
66
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:13,860
Then we combined our DNA
by jacking off into this test tube.
67
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,570
It made a new best friend.
68
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:16,653
Meet Dobby!
69
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:19,073
Dobby!
70
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:22,785
Dobby's hobbies include
biting the heads off small animals
71
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:26,122
- and eating pubic hair out the sink drain.
- [hair twangs]
72
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,207
[man gulps]
73
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,124
[narrator] Okay!
74
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,418
But the best reason
to visit Paradise,
75
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:33,880
to meet our famous hero cop,
Kevin Crawford...
76
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,715
[Kevin laughs]
Ah, it never gets old.
77
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,398
[narrator] ...who took down
the most dangerous criminal mastermind
78
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,802
of all time,
79
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,972
Dusty Marlowe, the Argyle Meth Kingpin!
80
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,391
See exactly how it happened
in this recreation
81
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,936
we got animated in Japan to save money.
82
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:48,937
I'm so evil,
83
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:52,315
my next step is to destroy Disneyland,
Jesus and Nascar!
84
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,150
Not if I stop you.
85
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,360
Stop this!
86
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,111
[cackles]
87
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,952
- Huh?
- My turn.
88
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,247
[yells]
89
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,585
Ah!
90
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:13,920
[groans]
91
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,925
Ka me ha me ha!
92
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,008
[Dusty groans]
93
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,888
[giggles]
94
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,015
[magical music]
95
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,810
[narrator] And that's how Kevin
became famous.
96
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:31,396
Meet him in person
when you visit Paradise,
97
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:34,983
America's non-angry,
non-puckered-asshole-like jewel.
98
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,359
As you can see,
99
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,403
thanks to my hero son,
100
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,197
tourism is up,
the town is flushed with cash...
101
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,574
[quietly]
...and my re-election is in the bag.
102
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,785
Now, the man you're here to see,
103
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,288
Kevin Crawford!
104
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,040
- [regal music]
- [cheers and applause]
105
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:55,878
I hereby award my hero son
the medal of bravery
106
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,965
for appearing on The View
during Period Week.
107
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,008
[cameras click]
108
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,098
But I'm taking him out next.
109
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,183
Me! The Kingpin!
110
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,145
[evil laugh]
111
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,606
[Kevin gasps]
112
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,860
You got room
for a Kevin and Fitz BFF medal?
113
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,778
Of course I do, buddy.
114
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,993
Gerald Fitzgerald
is another Paradise success story.
115
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:30,955
He started his own business
and became the richest person in Paradise!
116
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,666
Sorry, former richest person Camaro Bob.
117
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:37,086
Well, I still got
the most stone-washed jeans, baby.
118
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:41,591
And Gerald did it
by opening a chain of Dippin' Dots stands.
119
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,302
Served to you by hobos
to keep my overhead low.
120
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:47,680
One Crazy Cookie Dough with sprinkles.
121
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,806
[snake hisses]
122
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,893
Goodbye, Sprinkles. I'll miss you.
123
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,937
Don't worry, he lived in my ass.
124
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,898
We've both come so far, Fitz.
125
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,859
For the first time in my life,
my parents actually like me.
126
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,862
But out of all my medals,
yours means the most to me.
127
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,281
Even more than my medal
for loudest masturbator.
128
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,201
I love you like a brother.
129
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,746
I hate that motherfucker!
130
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,123
Me too, boss. Let's kill him.
131
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,666
We can't kill him, Thester.
132
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,585
The idiot has spiked tourism
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00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,171
which is making me a fortune
in Dippin' Dots sales.
134
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:21,254
[Thester groans]
135
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:25,802
God, Thester! You're so bloody stupid!
136
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,804
Just say the word, boss!
137
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,555
If you're going to be my number two,
138
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,479
you got to stop offering to kill yourself
every time you make a mistake.
139
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:36,562
Right. So, what's your evil scheme
behind these Dippin' Dots?
140
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,772
Listen, idiot.
141
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,650
We're making more money now
than we did with argyle meth.
142
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,111
As long as everyone thinks
Dusty's the Kingpin,
143
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,404
we're in the clear.
144
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:49,409
And the only person in town
who knows that Dusty is innocent is Dusty.
145
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,618
Hmm.
146
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:53,663
I should pay him a little visit.
147
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,373
Or I could poison him!
148
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:59,961
Oh! We'll frame Bret Michaels
of the band Poison!
149
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,963
Oh, imagine that headline, eh?
150
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:05,925
"Irrelevant Rocker
Referenced In Netflix Show."
151
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:08,719
[chanting] Kevin!
152
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,933
"To Billy,
I hope your snake AIDS clears up.
153
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,184
Love, Kevin Crawford."
154
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:17,228
I really gotta get new publicity photos.
155
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:18,771
[sultry music]
156
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,524
What can I get you, son? Hero back rub?
157
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,984
Hero sandwich?
158
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,777
Hero hand release?
159
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,028
[snorts, spits]
160
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,613
Uh, once was enough.
161
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,533
All right, good.
More time for you to sign autographs.
162
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,076
Gotta keep your fans happy.
163
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,955
Their tourism dollars
fund all this new, futuristic equipment.
164
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:37,790
Hello. I am Cop Bot.
165
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,667
My protocols are to serve and protect,
166
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,877
and eat donuts.
167
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,004
Ha ha. I stole that joke
from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
168
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,130
Better arrest me.
169
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,757
I also stole that joke
from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
170
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,968
We can even predict the future now
171
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,095
and solve crimes before they happen.
172
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,890
I hired Dr. Funtlichter
to turn the evidence room
173
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,349
into a pre-cog chamber.
174
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,935
I just look at it as an excuse
to kidnap runaways,
175
00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,939
shave their heads
and keep them in a kiddie pool.
176
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,648
[chuckles]
Everyone needs a hobby.
177
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,234
I used to have a hobby. Illegal drugs.
178
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,820
Now this town
is like Jeff Dunham's stand-up act:
179
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,239
too clean, and still kinda racist.
180
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,451
Bullet, you should try legal drugs
like Adderall.
181
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:17,288
The schoolkids say it makes them smarter
and gets them crunk AF.
182
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,999
Remember, kids,
it works faster if you snort it.
183
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,627
- Hmm.
- There you are, hog shit hero!
184
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:25,922
God, I feel sorry for you!
I'll bet it's horrible living a lie!
185
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,216
I don't know, John Travolta seems happy.
186
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,509
Oh, you know what I mean!
187
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,844
Dusty is innocent, and you are no hero!
188
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,890
Uh, then why do I have
my own Funko Pop, huh?
189
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,808
Oh, because they do those for everybody!
190
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,228
Yeah, even my proctologist has one!
191
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,271
You should've seen the look on his face
192
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,482
when he had to pull himself out of me.
193
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:47,944
We both know you saw the tape proving
Dusty's innocent, but you won't admit it
194
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,947
because you're afraid
to disappoint your parents.
195
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:50,905
Fucking pussy.
196
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:52,657
All right, Gina. Calm down.
197
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,075
Hey, check out our new toy!
198
00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:55,618
I call it the shit stick.
199
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,370
[Stanley yelps and farts]
200
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,498
Jesus, that's a lot of Funko Pops.
201
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:08,965
Look who finally decided to come visit.
202
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,759
Is it just me
or does this glass smell like ass?
203
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,177
Yeah, Gina just left.
204
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,264
Dusty, I just wanted to stop by
205
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,350
and make sure you aren't getting
any crazy ideas in your head.
206
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,311
No, I still don't think Brooklyn Nine-Nine
is funny,
207
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:26,357
but I was thinking that
all that argyle meth mess
208
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,027
started right after you moved to town.
Ain't that weird?
209
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,862
Yeah, "weird."
210
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,865
Also, I requested some evidence
211
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,534
on the Terry Two Toes murder
212
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,078
and did you know
they found a hair in his cell?
213
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:42,373
Fitz, this looks just like your hair.
214
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:46,877
Now I wonder,
if I requested a DNA test...
215
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,254
Fitz?
216
00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:51,257
Yeah, he's right.
217
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:53,259
Just a silly old dead end.
218
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,428
- Hey, Gina.
- Not now, Fitz. I'm busy.
219
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,305
[Gina groans]
220
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,808
[cartoon music]
221
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,395
Mayor Karen...
[chuckles]
222
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:07,023
...you are looking hot
in that same burgundy dress
223
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,150
you wear every day
like Fred Flintstone.
224
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,067
[giggles]
225
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,777
Just don't forget I have a fiance.
226
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,905
One of these days, I'm going to make time
to plan the perfect wedding.
227
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,282
You know, our first wedding...
228
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,533
Yeah, I don't give a shit.
229
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,870
What if I told you
I've got the perfect political stunt
230
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,164
to guarantee your re-election?
231
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,290
[mutters and whispers]
232
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,374
...whisper...
233
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,709
[dramatic music plays]
234
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,670
What the hell are you doing here?
235
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,380
I wanted to say that I'm sorry.
236
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,465
Not now.
237
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,760
I have got two tons of fun
to bust out of prison with these.
238
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,853
Look, I sometimes wonder
if Dusty is innocent, too,
239
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:50,191
but it's not like I'm experiencing
odd physical symptoms of guilt that I...
240
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,610
[retches]
241
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,612
Well... That's new.
242
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:57,948
My point is,
Dusty was convicted in a court of law
243
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,785
and Dad says
he'll be perfectly fine in prison.
244
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:01,702
[news theme on TV]
245
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,664
Dusty will not be perfectly fine
in prison.
246
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,209
We join the mayor of Paradise
with more on this breaking news.
247
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,003
In an effort to maintain public safety,
248
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,172
and my stellar poll numbers,
249
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:16,717
I will be personally executing
Dusty Marlowe,
250
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:20,137
AKA the Kingpin, in the electric chair.
251
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,221
[mutters and whispers]
252
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,724
- ...whispers...
- That fat? You measured?
253
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:26,977
Correction. I will be personally executing
Dusty Marlowe
254
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,896
in the electric couch.
255
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:36,737
Karen, I've been meaning to ask,
you're not getting cold feet, are you?
256
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,448
If you want a foot job,
just ask for a foot job.
257
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,534
No, I'm talking about the wedding.
258
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:43,077
Oh, wait, can I have a foot job?
259
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,329
No, and of course I don't have cold feet.
260
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:48,499
It's just, with everything going on,
I haven't had time to plan it.
261
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,292
How about I plan it for you?
262
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,253
First, you'll tickle the shaft
with your toe,
263
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,587
and I'll also plan the wedding.
264
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,089
[gasps] Really?
265
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,632
Are you sure you can handle that?
266
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,552
Well, it's a dick and two feet.
It's not rocket science.
267
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,887
Oh, the wedding. Yeah. Consider it done.
268
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,348
Mom! I can't believe
you're gonna execute Dusty!
269
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,016
I'm not even sure he's guilty!
270
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,768
How could you say that, Kevin?
271
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,312
Our lives are perfect now
because you busted the Kingpin!
272
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,522
Yeah! Do you want Daddy
273
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,941
to lose his fucking helicopter
that he drives to work?
274
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:17,069
If Dusty wasn't guilty,
the entire town would fall apart!
275
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,529
We finally got a Sonic!
276
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:21,157
Do you want to go back to a life
without Frito Burritos?
277
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,701
Can't we just put our own Fritos
in the burritos?
278
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:27,371
Oh, well, why don't we all just
give ourselves foot jobs, too?
279
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,541
You want dislocated hips
and jizz up your nose, Kevin?
280
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,960
Anyway, I gotta go to work.
281
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,295
[blows nose loudly]
282
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,801
[helicopter engine accelerates]
283
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,261
[helicopter engine cuts]
284
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,224
I wonder what happens
when you set it to "Dirty Cop."
285
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,393
Morning, every...
[grunts]
286
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,353
Show me how you suck that dick.
287
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,730
Ohhh, man,
288
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:55,649
I've been waiting years
for a robot to ask me that.
289
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:59,403
Usually with my Roomba,
I have to make the first move.
290
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,698
Dusty, I don't know if you've heard,
but the mayor is planning to...
291
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,535
I know! She's gonna "extra-cute" me.
292
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,163
Oh, my god! I always wanted a makeover!
293
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,124
I bet my cellmate,
Missus Two Toes, set it up.
294
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,753
Whoa, wait a minute.
Your cellmate is Terry Two Toes' mom?
295
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,589
Dusty, she's probably planning
to kill you!
296
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:22,676
Gina, it sounds like you're jealous
of all my new friends in here.
297
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,677
Huh?
298
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:27,223
Okay, real funny, girls. Real funny.
299
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:28,974
[call disconnects]
300
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,935
Damn it! I've got to get him out.
301
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,269
We've got to get him out.
302
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:33,854
I let myself be pushed into all this
303
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,065
because I was so afraid
of disappointing my parents,
304
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,817
but I'm not letting Dusty die.
305
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,740
We have to clear his name
before the execution.
306
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,655
In the meantime, someone has to infiltrate
the prison to keep him safe.
307
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:43,572
I'll do it!
308
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:47,743
I've always dreamed of being an inmate
in a women's prison. Whee!
309
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,454
Wait a minute.
You have creepy hidden camera footage
310
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,748
that would clear Dusty
of Terry Two Toes' murder!
311
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,250
Let's just show everyone the tape.
312
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,794
You don't think I thought of that?
There's a problem.
313
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,421
Someone broke in and destroyed everything.
314
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,298
This stuff cost me an arm and a leg, too.
315
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,175
I guess the footage is gone for good.
316
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,385
Hold on.
317
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,220
Overpriced... pretentious...
318
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:07,596
Is this an Apple product?
319
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,515
Yeah, it's called the iPerv.
320
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:10,516
That's great.
321
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,936
All Apple products
come with automatic backup to the cloud.
322
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,555
We've got to get to the cloud
323
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,064
and clear Dusty's name.
324
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,191
Looks like Kevin's snooping around again.
325
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,151
Somebody's going to have
to teach him a lesson.
326
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,487
[evil laugh]
327
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:26,574
[high-pitched giggle]
328
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,868
That's your evil laugh?
329
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:32,246
Goddamnit, Thester,
your laugh sounds like shite,
330
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:34,373
you unprofessional bastard!
331
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,333
Just say the word, boss!
332
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,045
[Dusty snores]
333
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,923
Ms. Two Toes, I know it's 2 a.m.
334
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,010
but someone brought
this non-suspicious party sub for you.
335
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,973
It's time to die, Dusty,
336
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,393
as soon as I whittle this toothbrush
into a shank.
337
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,604
You murdered my son
338
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:59,690
and nothing is going to stop me
from killing y...
339
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,319
Ms. Two Toes? Are you okay?
340
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:06,488
- Your new cellmate's here.
- That was quick.
341
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,490
Hopson, what are you doing here?
342
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,742
Shush!
343
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,660
I'm Hopseletta.
344
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:15,205
[whispers] I'm here to teach you
how to survive in a woman's prison.
345
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,499
Step one, suck off a guard
346
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,210
and make him fall in love with you.
347
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,211
Uh...
348
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,463
I'd rather not.
349
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:25,257
Doesn't matter.
I already ticked that box.
350
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,218
Several times.
351
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,723
Okay, Crawford.
Time to plan the perfect wedding.
352
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,439
Shit, I got nothing.
353
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:43,025
Think, you stupid brain! Think!
[groans]
354
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,819
Did somebody say "think?"
I'm thinking like a motherfucker.
355
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,543
I'm seeing equations. I have no idea
what they mean, but I see 'em!
356
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:49,949
There they are. Can you see 'em?
357
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,034
You do look smarter. What's the secret?
358
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,953
Adderall, and I only took one.
359
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,120
Bottle.
360
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,121
Up each nostril.
361
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,289
Gimme those!
362
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,123
[gulps]
363
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,126
I feel myself
364
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,836
getting smarter.
365
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,508
Aaahhhh! I'm gonna come!
366
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,928
[laughs]
Boom!
367
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:15,140
I just planned the best fucking wedding
of all time in only 97 seconds.
368
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,643
We got to get to the bridal shop.
To the chopper!
369
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,104
Where the hell is my chopper?
370
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,815
[1980s action music playing]
371
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,365
[tracking screen beeping]
372
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,867
Looks like I'm going
to have to get my hands dirty.
373
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,537
- Where's the disguise I asked for?
- Right here, KP.
374
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,206
That looks just like me.
375
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:42,167
You asked for something intimidating
376
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,462
and you're the most intimidating guy
I know.
377
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,256
I mean, it's a nice mask, but...
378
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:49,008
Uh, don't threaten to kill yourself,
379
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:52,803
but an exact replica of my face
kind of defeats the purpose.
380
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:56,557
Thester, you purpose-defeating idiot!
381
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,101
Say the word. I'll build a time machine
382
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,353
and go back and kill my pregnant mum.
383
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,273
Or better yet, I'll go back even further
384
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:08,318
and suck myself
right out of my old man's tallywhacker!
385
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,779
Yeah...
386
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,322
That won't be necessary.
387
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,074
Just get me a new disguise.
388
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:17,119
Something really intimidating,
like a serial killer would wear.
389
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:20,164
Got it! Intimidating... cereal...
390
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,750
Boss is gonna love this!
391
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,380
Hi there, I'm...
392
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,008
Steve Jobs? I thought you were dead.
393
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,260
Don't be silly.
I was backed up to the cloud.
394
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,679
- You're a backup?
- Yeah, but don't worry.
395
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:39,016
I'm every bit the same rotten asshole
in a turtleneck everyone loves.
396
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:41,560
They call me
a Replicated Intelligence Machine,
397
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:42,643
or "RIM."
398
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,229
So, you're RIM Jobs.
399
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,439
Listen, you little prick.
400
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,150
I will fuck you harder
than I fucked Steve Wozniak.
401
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,985
I don't think I like RIM Jobs.
402
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,071
I guess you've never had one done right.
403
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,031
Anyway, welcome to the cloud.
404
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:57,242
Here, we back up
over ten sextillion terabytes
405
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,786
of important pictures and videos,
406
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,371
like this blurry concert
from way too far away,
407
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:02,748
and this picture of a wall,
408
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,625
and this one that's completely black.
409
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:08,212
Who cares? Just point me in the direction
of my hidden camera fatty-footage.
410
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:09,546
Ah, the iPerv.
411
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,715
We keep those drives in the Apple Vault
412
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,009
along with your more sensitive
personal information
413
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,303
protected with our highest level
of security.
414
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,222
A mobile home screen door.
415
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:20,682
[door creaks]
416
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,896
Cap'n Crunch?
417
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,860
[Gina yells]
418
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:34,655
[Fitz grunts]
419
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,365
Kevin! Punch him!
420
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,159
I can't punch Cap'n Crunch!
He's a war hero!
421
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,245
Kevin, it's not Cap'n Crunch.
422
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:43,747
It's the general
from the car insurance commercials.
423
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,291
Fuck you! Die, motherfucker!
424
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:48,835
[Gina grunts]
425
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:51,337
[Kevin groans]
426
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,802
Kevin, no! Not the shit stick!
427
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,096
[Fitz farts and screams]
428
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,430
[glass shatters]
429
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,059
[jet engines roar]
430
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,190
Agh! Damn it!
431
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,358
[farts]
432
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:15,028
Yeah, that's right.
433
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,947
I want to hire
all the original Oompa Loompas
434
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,074
to be flower girls at my wedding.
Hold, please.
435
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,827
I don't care how much it costs
to bring back the KFC Double Down!
436
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,955
The chicken is the fucking bread,
and I need this reception to be perfect!
437
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:28,125
Hold on. Are you serious?
We got him? Yes!
438
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:32,212
I just landed the High Pitch Erik
from The Howard Stern Show to officiate!
439
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,006
Karen is going to be so excited!
440
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,717
Bullet, how much do we have left
in the budget to book the venue?
441
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,218
Negative $2,000.
442
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,554
Crap! How did I blow the entire budget?
443
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,098
Probably by hiring Ric Flair
to be your best man.
444
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:44,558
[croaks] Wooo.
445
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:47,060
Shit! I haven't even paid for a venue yet.
446
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,271
Bullet, you think it's possible
that the Adderall
447
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,023
didn't actually make us smarter?
448
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,399
It just got us crunk AF
449
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:54,568
and we've been making stupid,
shitty decisions?
450
00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:55,651
Like what?
451
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:56,904
[ostrich squawks]
452
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,697
I don't even know what that's for.
453
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:04,036
Making love to prison guards
only gets you so far.
454
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,122
You gotta establish yourself
as the alpha dog.
455
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,333
Pick the biggest inmate in here
456
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:12,002
and bash their face in
with this lunch tray.
457
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,963
'Scuse me, Glenda. How much you weigh?
458
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,257
- Three-nintely-five.
- Oh, dang it!
459
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,344
[repeated grunting]
460
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,932
Another good way to stay safe in prison
461
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,975
is to join a gang.
462
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,478
Say no more. I got this.
463
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,230
Hey, girls!
464
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,856
I am so excited
465
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,275
to be in y'all's Neo-Yahtzee club.
466
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,193
[dice rattle]
467
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,738
Nothing I love more
than party games and Keanu Reeves.
468
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:45,285
I need the address of whoever rented
a Cap'n Crunch mascot suit yesterday.
469
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,246
All 298 of them?
470
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,666
Two hundred ninety-eight people
rented Cap'n Crunch mascot suits?
471
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,752
Oh, yeah. There's a "Crunchy" convention
in town again.
472
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:56,672
They all get dressed up like that
and screw till they're soggy.
473
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,674
I tell you, that ruins breakfast for you.
474
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,343
Crap! How are we going to find
the evil one who attacked us?
475
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,428
[chainsaws buzz]
476
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:04,804
[gun firing]
477
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,101
It's sweet old Ms. Geraldean!
478
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:10,602
Who put you in this suit?
479
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:11,770
A black guy did it.
480
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,563
Gina, that's a huge clue!
481
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,856
Don't get too excited.
482
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,234
Ms. Geraldean, who blew up the Challenger?
483
00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:18,694
A black guy did it.
484
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,779
Aw, man. Another dead end.
485
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:22,739
Oh, not necessarily.
486
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,492
We have an address.
487
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,161
Here we are. This is the place.
488
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,164
We make a pretty good team, right?
489
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,083
You're the brains, and I...
490
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,668
Haven't peed yourself yet.
491
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,461
Classic partnership.
492
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:38,505
Oh, there's my hard drive!
493
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,009
[alarm sounds]
494
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,052
[beeping]
495
00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:45,511
I peed.
496
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,558
[evil laugh]
497
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:51,184
Oh, boss, I want to join in.
498
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:55,689
I've been working on a new,
non-weird, evil laugh.
499
00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:59,484
Caw-caw-caw caw-caw-caw!
500
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:02,279
Ca-a-aw!
501
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:05,032
That's fucking great.
502
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,747
I just took a shitload of Adderall,
so don't fuck with me on this, okay?
503
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,630
I found an awesome
free venue for the wedding!
504
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,334
Kind of a double-booking type deal.
505
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:18,253
I don't want to ruin the surprise,
but let's say sparks are gonna fly!
506
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:23,091
["Canon in D" plays]
507
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,636
Okay, which side?
The groom, the bride,
508
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,263
or the soon-to-be-fried?
[chuckles]
509
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:35,771
["Bridal Chorus" plays]
510
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:42,402
["Funeral March" plays]
511
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:45,655
Dearly beloved,
512
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:50,327
we are gathered here today
for this wedding/execution.
513
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,662
Ooh, I love weddings!
514
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:55,207
I can't believe y'all made me
515
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:57,042
the guest of honor!
516
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,544
And you get to wear this cool crown.
517
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:02,381
Ooh! Just like Burger King!
518
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:04,049
And there's burnt hair in it.
519
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,093
Just like at Burger King!
520
00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:09,429
Randall, this isn't the dream wedding
I imagined.
521
00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:12,933
It's even better!
[squeals]
522
00:23:13,016 --> 00:23:16,770
Karen, you are the most beautiful
bride/executioner ever.
523
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,940
You may kiss the bride
524
00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:22,275
as the bride flips the switch.
525
00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:25,612
[dramatic music plays]
526
00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:32,285
[dramatic music escalates]
527
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:33,703
[handle creaks]
528
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:37,207
I now pronounce you husband and...
529
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:39,292
- [Kevin] I object!
- [record scratch]
530
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,877
[ostrich crows]
531
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:44,423
Oh, he's the... He's the DJ.
Well, now that makes sense.
532
00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:47,008
Dusty is innocent and we have proof,
533
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,136
even though we got blown up to get it.
534
00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,471
I'm only alive
because Gina dove on top of me
535
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:52,681
and saved my life.
536
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,474
She's the town's real hero.
537
00:23:54,891 --> 00:23:57,602
And somehow, I don't have a scratch on me.
538
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:02,441
Here's the video
proving Dusty's innocence.
539
00:24:02,524 --> 00:24:05,527
- Kevin, don't do it!
- Don't you want us to like you?
540
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:06,987
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad,
541
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:09,448
hate me if you want,
but everyone needs to see this.
542
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:10,907
Is that a toilet cam?
543
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:13,952
[Dusty on video] Ooh,
them Frito Burritos is coming out angry!
544
00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:16,663
Oh, Lord, I'm glad I'm alone for this.
[squelching]
545
00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:19,833
Oh, fuck, yeah.
546
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,460
Uh... [clears throat]
547
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:22,836
Wrong video.
548
00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:25,964
Here is the video
proving Dusty's innocence.
549
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,633
At the exact time
of Terry Two Toes' murder,
550
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:32,554
Dusty was in his apartment
getting a tongue bath from those cats.
551
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:33,847
[crowd gasping]
552
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,849
[news theme plays]
553
00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:40,061
Hey, Robbie, I just figured out
how to genetically modify potatoes.
554
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,897
World hunger will be a thing of the past.
555
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:43,315
Never mind that shit.
556
00:24:43,398 --> 00:24:45,317
These cops framed an innocent man.
557
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,861
That makes me want to smoke crack
and break shit.
558
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:50,113
[mob clamoring]
559
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:55,285
Jailbreak! Whee!
560
00:24:55,368 --> 00:24:56,368
[gorilla grunting]
561
00:24:56,411 --> 00:24:57,996
[indistinct shouting]
562
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:07,589
With riots in the streets
and tourists fleeing,
563
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,342
looks like Paradise
is reclaiming the title
564
00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:12,844
of angry, puckered asshole of the Earth.
565
00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:16,765
James Woods will just have to settle
for second place.
566
00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,183
This is a disaster!
567
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:19,518
You suck, Kevin!
568
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:22,437
Well, Dusty, I guess we should
get you out of that thing.
569
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,689
Who dropped a banana peel?
570
00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:28,610
Whoa...
571
00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:30,278
[electricity buzzes]
572
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:31,821
[Dusty gurgles]
573
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:32,905
[Dusty giggles]
574
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:34,658
Oh! Stop tickling me!
575
00:25:34,741 --> 00:25:36,868
Ooh, something smells like
all-beef hot dogs
576
00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:38,411
cooking in the microwave!
577
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,750
Dippin' Dots sales are down 99%
578
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:45,669
since tourism has dried up,
579
00:25:45,752 --> 00:25:50,549
but the good news is the town has
gone back to a crime-ridden dump
580
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:53,218
so your real estate holdings
have plummeted.
581
00:25:53,301 --> 00:25:56,471
I was stupid to think
that the Kingpin could go legit.
582
00:25:56,555 --> 00:26:00,684
I should stick to what I'm good at,
argyle meth and murder.
583
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,519
I was hoping you'd feel that way.
584
00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:05,897
That's why I've got a surprise
for you, boss.
585
00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:11,653
I've assembled
the most nefarious band of villains
586
00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:13,488
Paradise has ever seen!
587
00:26:13,947 --> 00:26:15,615
Frank Flipper-Fist!
588
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:16,783
And son.
589
00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:18,451
[squeaks and clicks]
590
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:20,203
[Thester] Pedro Pooptooth!
591
00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:22,581
Edna Dorsal-Digits!
592
00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:24,082
Puffy the Cigarette!
593
00:26:24,165 --> 00:26:25,500
Pat Robertson!
594
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:26,918
How is he evil?
595
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:28,795
The gays planned 9/11.
596
00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:30,880
Oh. Okay.
597
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:34,884
I call them the "Legion of Dooooom,"
598
00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:37,679
spelled with five Os to avoid lawsuits.
599
00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:39,139
Good work, Thester.
600
00:26:39,222 --> 00:26:41,683
The Paradise PD doesn't stand a chance
against us,
601
00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,893
especially when I get my old job back.
602
00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,478
Oh! I almost forgot!
603
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:47,480
Last, but not least,
604
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:49,149
Harvey Weinstein!
605
00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:50,232
[plant rustles]
606
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,192
What's up, fellas?
607
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,570
Harvey Weinstein? Really?
608
00:26:53,653 --> 00:26:56,114
I figured you wanted
the worst of the worst.
609
00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:59,117
I do,
but even we gotta draw the line somewhere.
610
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,536
Hey, ficus tree,
you wanna be in the movies?
611
00:27:02,537 --> 00:27:05,498
♪ I love it in this women's penitentiary ♪
612
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:08,001
♪ Lucky I got sentenced to a century ♪
613
00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:10,837
♪ It's like a slumber party
that never ends ♪
614
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,757
♪ You call 'em soulless, violent felons
I call 'em best friends ♪
615
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,175
♪ I call 'em best friends ♪
616
00:27:15,258 --> 00:27:18,136
♪ My cellmate's always prankin' me
Her favorite one is shankin' me ♪
617
00:27:18,219 --> 00:27:20,639
♪ And silly Donna Cooper
Stuck a mopstick up my pooper ♪
618
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:22,474
♪ Thank god for my buried dingus ♪
619
00:27:22,807 --> 00:27:27,896
♪ It's like 4-H camp, plus cunnilingus! ♪
620
00:27:41,117 --> 00:27:43,036
♪ I'm so thankful that I got a century ♪
621
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,872
♪ With my besties
In this women's penitentiary ♪