"Ballmastrz."
Believe it, sods!
Against all odds, the Leptons are champions.
Booyah!
We're in Lartha at the Ministry of Culture
for Crayzar's Grand Game Gala.
It is my esteemed treasure to bestow the Crayzar Cup
upon this season's grand champions,
the Leptons of Ulsa Guerin.
[ All scream ] [ Laughs ]
Now it's time to announce the coveted season MVP.
This is it, the comeback story of the season,
defying the odds from the depths of disgrace and scandal.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this season's Most Valuable Player
of The Game award goes to...
Crayzar: Ballmaster.
Ballmaster? Ballmaster?
Yay for those dudes. Go, dudes.
What an honor. I-I'd like to thank --
Uh, hey, you know what?
Let's forgo the traditional list of boring obligatory gratitudes
and instead simply remind our young, beautiful,
adoring groupies that I'll be backstage waiting to load
the cloud into the old cannon, if you know what I mean.
[ Crickets chirping ]
You know, dance the forbidden polka,
make a magical sandwich, shall we say, okay?
Violate the prime directive? -No.
There really is one person we do need to thank.
I owe this award and everything that we accomplished as a team
to my hero, my mentor, my dearest true-blue friend,
the great Gaz Digzy.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Ooh. -[ Chuckles ]
Ah, sweet kid.
Ah, well, Digzy, there's always next season.
I'm going to train harder, get fit,
actually get sober, and show everybody I still got it.
[ Gasps ]
I suppose congratulations are in order.
Father?!
I admit I'm somewhat impressed with, uh, your accomplishments.
At the very least, your unwavering stubbornness.
But now it's finally time to stop all this athlete nonsense
and come take your rightful place
within the family corporation.
You must be out of your feeble, geriatric mind.
I forge my own destiny, Pop.
You and your greedy empire don't factor into it.
You're still an awful brat, I see.
Very well. You leave me little choice.
Quit the game and come back to the family fold
or I'll destroy your precious Leptons forever.
Oh, yeah? [ Scoffs ] You and what army?
Maybe you didn't get the memo, moneybags,
but we're we the grand champs with legions of loving fans.
You may be filthy rich, but you can't buy
the burning spirit of teamwork in our hearts.
[ Laughing ]
I assure you I do have the power to destroy the Leptons
because I already own the team.
You own the Leptons?
The game is a franchise business, sweetheart.
I acquired Leptons the day you joined -- dirt cheap, too,
if you'll excuse the pun -- and what a genius investment
it's become, the ultimate bargaining chip.
If those vultures on the board of directors
think I can't even control my own daughter,
they'll walk over me like a doormat.
Besides, a Digzfield heir waiting in the wings
keeps the shareholders happy, even if it's all for show.
Now, for the last time,
if you don't give up this silly life immediately,
I'll split up you and your friends by trading you
all away to different teams across the consortium.
Then I'll level Lepton Arena to the ground and salt the earth.
Imagine what depths Ulsa Guerin will hit without a team
to distract its base-born masses from their shit-filled lives.
-Yeah! -[ Chuckles ]
-Yeah! [ Chuckles ] -[ Chuckles ]
Gaz, there you are.
We can't truly celebrate without you.
Yeah! Kick off the heels, and come shake that jelly roll.
I'm not staying.
I came to say goodbye.
You can't leave yet.
The night is young, party animal.
I'm not leaving for the night.
I'm leaving for good.
[ All gasp ]
But what about our championship season?
And next season?
There's not going to be another season for me.
I am done.
You're leaving the Leptons?
The Leptons, the game, the life, all of it.
It's been great, gang, but I'm retiring.
Rupert: So, finally, I just said, "Screw it."
Worked like a charm.
Overnight the labor leaders are all jailed,
and stocks are soaring again.
I'm over the moon about it.
[ Laughter ]
Bravo.
[ Sighs ]
Pressing business, Miss Gazmerelda.
The music room needs new drapes.
Shove it, Belvedere.
I'm instructing you to go make me a mai tai.
I'm dreadfully sorry, Miss, but your father has cut you off.
I believe it's time to dry out.
[ Groans ]
[ Dog barks ]
Hey.
Opening day, a new season of the game.
Here in Lartha, the Leptons are showing a strong debut
as reigning champs, even without Gaz Digzy.
Go, Leptons, go!
[ All grunting ]
[ Grunts ]
Whoa. [ Chuckles ]
-[ Grunts ] -[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ]
Kill, kill, kill!
[ Grunts ]
-Aah! -Aah!
Aah!
Yeah.
Ballmastrz.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Both scream ]
Let's win one for old Gaz Digzy.
Whenever you are, Gaz, we miss you.
I wish you could be here with us.
Huh?
♪♪
[ Laughs ]
[ Screaming ]
That's it, Lulu,
just like I taught ya. Attaboy, Flip.
You show them. [ Alarm blaring ]
Warning, evacuate, evacuate, evacuate.
What in seven hells is this?
♪♪
[ People screaming ] Evacuate. Evacuate.
Call me overly sensitive,
but I have a really crappy feeling about this.
Agh! I can't just sit here.
[ Grunts ] [ Thud ]
-Going somewhere? -Hey!
Out of the way, Pops.
The Leptons need me.
How dare you defy me again.
What kind of lowly wretch turns her back on family.
The Leptons are my family.
I won't stand for it.
I demand you act like a proper lady instead of a tramp.
[ People screaming ]
-Aah! -Out of my car, mine.
Asshole, this thing seats two.
[ Gasps ]
Aah!
Ha.
[ All scream ]
♪♪
[ All gasp ]
[ Grunts ]
This must be the end.
My life is flashing before my eyes,
but I'm too terrified to enjoy reliving all the naughty parts!
We're, like, totally doomed.
Want to come in out of the rain?
All: Crayzar!
Lord Crayzar, what's happening?
The seeds of salvation, planted so very long ago,
have grown into a wondrous tree
bearing such magnificent fruit.
Oh, boy, so here come the riddles.
I'll skip the bullshit.
The game is not just a means to achieve peace on Earth.
All along it's been a training ground
for the day humanity would have to stand together,
unified to face a cataclysmic threat.
The game disciplined the unwitting future heroes
of this conflict to meet our uninvited guests head-on.
You, Ballmaster, will be Earth's champion
together with the Leptons.
The greatest teams of the game become my elite army,
the newly minted Terra Defense Force.
Baby Ball: This guy has really flipped his wig now.
Battle stations.
Commence countdown to hyperspace full jump.
Battle stations?
Hyperspace full jump?
Why, yes, my dear.
This entire city is actually an interstellar battleship
of my own design. -[ Gasps ]
-[ Chuckles ] -Ooh.
-[ Grunts ] -[ Gasps ]
We're folding space to meet the enemy armada.
But what about Gaz?
We only got to this point because of Gaz.
Oh, I nearly forgot my first mate.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunts ]
Aah!
Bite me, you son of a bi-- aah!
Ballmaster!
I've never been so happy to see you guys.
And we're never letting you go again.
Yeah!
Captain, you're looking sharp.
-Sweet of you to join us, Digzy. -Ha-ha!
All systems ready, sir.
Execute hyperspace full jump.
One giant leap for mankind,
one humongous leap for Umbilicus.
Everyone, hang onto your balls.
♪♪