"Ballmastrz."
Hey, lame-o!
Miss the big game-o?
That up-and-coming garbage gang,
the Leptons, took on the sisters of no mercy, the Bible Belters!
♪♪
Living on a prayer, Gaz's junk jocks rally back
to an even game in the last minutes of action!
Aah!
-Yeah! -[ Chuckles ]
"Ballmastrz."
Blabber Ball: The Ballmastr king threw into clutch
with a tie-breaking goal. [ Air horn blows ]
-Yay! -Whoo-hoo!
Ballmastr wins another one!
Yeah, we dropped those nuns like a bad habit.
"Habit." You get it? [ Laughs ]
All right, newbies. Gather 'round.
We're going to try a little team-bonding exercise.
Are we going to do trust falls,
a scavenger hunt, water-balloon toss?
Easy, shorty.
Mama Digzy is going to teach you how to celebrate right.
-Wow! -Ooh!
So who's holding?
[ Whistling ]
Uh, I don't get it. Holding what?
-Exactly. -Come on, poem boy.
We all know you got the wacky tobacky.
Ugh, I guess I could share this Champagne Supernova.
My man!
That's only the heaviest tetradronal
hydrohexolnoid this side of Jupiter!
Yeah!
[ Laughter ]
[ Grunts ]
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan, a stately pleasure-dome decree."
Aah! I'm starving!
Yes! By Crayzar, I feel it, also!
Only once before have I endured such famine as I quested
the okra-oxide waste of Biduan for 40 metacycles
without a morsel of food to sustain me,
surviving only on my own recycled body fluids
and the occasional mouthful of sand.
My inner map of metabolism,
my very core of cores falls onto itself,
pleading, "Somebody, get snacks!"
Yeah!
I'm a bit peckish myself.
Hang tight while I procure some grub.
Yay! Leto is cooking up snacks.
Ah, don't make reservations just yet, sis.
[ Microwave dings ]
That chowderhead couldn't butter
[ Microwave dings ]
That chowderhead couldn't butter
a slice of bread without hurting himself.
May I present a comestible cure for the late-night munchies...
Chain-reaction team barf in five, four, three --
...Leto Otel's secret-recipe grilled-cheese sandwiches.
-Whoa. -[ Gasps ]
-I'm first! Out of my way! -Sweet sustenance!
[ Chomping ]
This is the most delicious food I've ever eaten.
Oh, Leto, you've been holding out on us.
Delectable ambrosia of the gods.
Leto, you're a culinary master!
Aw, shucks, you're just saying that
'cause you're all wicked baked.
Snacks! [ Chomping ]
Ha-ha!
Mmm.
[ Grunts ]
[ Gasping ]
Blabber Ball: That's right. It's the "Gourmet Gamers,"
the game show that pits the biggest names in the game
against each other off the field and in the kitchen.
There's thrills, chills, spills, knife skills,
competitive celebrity cooking.
Cash money, lavish prizes.
I won a dinette set and a Jet Ski.
[ Laughs ]
It's my second favorite game -- "Gourmet Gamers."
Bon appetit!
Leto, you should compete on "Gourmet Gamers."
You could even win.
Yeah, normally I'd argue to keep poem boy
out of the public eye as much as possible
seeing how he's a witless buffoon and all,
but we're talking lots of moola and big prizes.
Leto, those are damn good sandwiches,
and you're going to win me a Jet Ski.
This could be your moment, man.
A resort trip to exotic bikini beaches, a new car, money.
What do you say, Leto?
Nah, I couldn't.
It's just, like, a hobby,
something to make my friends happy.
[ All groan ]
Well, yeah, that's probably for the best.
Ride the pine, champ.
Save this team one more public embarrassment.
Baby Ball: Whatever.
Somebody just pass me some more sandwiches.
Leto Otel, I am fed up with you selling yourself short.
You have so many wonderful talents to share with the world.
I do?
It's time you stretched your lazy ass a bit.
You are a master chef who needs to be on "Gourmet Gamers."
Aw, Dee, they're sandwiches.
Delicious sandwiches.
You don't understand.
I wouldn't make those sandwiches for just anyone.
They're only for my friends.
Bull crap. That's a cop-out.
Let's face it -- I wilt in the spotlight.
I'm not a high-pressure performer.
I'm more of a low-stakes long shot.
Everyone's going to laugh at me just like they always do.
Ugh, I won't take no for an answer!
Besides, I've already pulled some strings a the network
and got you a spot on the next taping of "Gourmet Gamers."
It's too late.
Oh, bummer.
Blabber Ball: Here it comes.
Get ready for a food fight with the heroes of the game,
as we play the star-studded big-bodied cook-off contest,
"Gourmet Gamers."
And now, here's the star of "Gourmet Gamers,"
your magnanimous majesty, Lord Master Crayzar.
Thank you. Oh, please, you're too kind.
I love you all.
Let's meet our splendid contestants, shall we?
Well, my glorious godhead,
joining us from the Misfit Murder Squad
is Megafist.
[ Laughs maniacally ]
And swinging in from the Shaka City Monkey Men, Curioso Jorge.
From the Choo-Choo Chums, it's Digging Dolly the Dining Car.
A pleasure to serve you, oh, Great One. Ooh.
And for the first time ever, from the Ulsa Guerin Leptons,
it's Leto Otel.
[ Groans ] [ Laughter ]
Yay, you can do it, my sweet Leto.
You think he's going to muff it or what?
It's Leto.
Of course he's going to muff it.
You all know the rules.
At the end of the clock,
you'll present your esteemed entrée
to our revered judges, finished or not.
Well, my fellow contestants,
I wish you all the most sincere good luck.
-Bite me, pissant. -[ Gasps ]
-Uh... -I'm got to chew you up,
crap you out onto a plate, and call it dessert.
Get set, gamers, and start cooking.
[ Grunting ]
Meat tenderizer!
[ Laughs ]
Okay, uh, um, grate the butter.
No, no, wait, cheese, grate the cheese.
Man, this is really hard to do when I'm straight.
And what are we making today?
Well, my liege, I'm making coq au vin.
So precious, carry on.
[ Gasps ]
And what are you making, my literary little Lepton.
[ Gasps ]
And what are you making, my literary little Lepton.
Grilled che-- I mean, broiled fromage
over, uh, toast.
Sounds like a grilled-cheese sandwich.
Yum, yum, dum-dum.
[ Laughter ]
[ Clock ticking ]
Uh...
[ Ticking continues ]
Uh...
[ Ticking continues ]
Aw.
Dude.
Food fight!
[ Crowd chanting "food fight" ]
[ Both grunt ]
[ Boing! ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Humming ]
Whoa! Aah!
[ Grunts ]
Aah, ah, oh!
Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah!
Oh...
[ Grunts ]
Quiz time. Leto, the category choices
are interdimensional metaphysics or limericks.
I'll take limericks.
-Metaphysics it is. -But --
What is the counterexample to a celadon
74th dark matter... F-mass conjecture
proving it's wrong on Mondays
but still mostly right on Tuesdays?
Oh, geez.
I have, like, no idea what you're talking about, man.
[ Buzzer ]
Oh, I'm sorry, dear boy.
[ Buzzer ]
Oh, I'm sorry, dear boy.
The answer is actually "the man from Nantucket."
That'll cost you time in the mess hall.
[ Crowd chanting "mess hall" ]
Oh!
-Oof. -[ Laughs ]
-Aw. -[ Laughs ]
Whoo! -Whoa!
Ooh. -Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Whew!
Whoa! Whoa.
[ Screaming ] -[ Laughs ]
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
Ride the pine, champ.
-He's a witless buffoon. -Dum-dum.
Everyone's going to laugh at me just like they always do.
They're sandwiches, man.
They're just sandwiches.
You can do it, Chef Leto.
They're just sandwiches.
♪♪
But they're my sandwiches.
[ Clock ticking ] Oh.
[ Humming, giggles ]
[ Ticking continues ]
[ Laughs maniacally ]
[ Air horn blows ] Dinner bell.
Cutlery down, contestants.
[ Giggles ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Laughs maniacally ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Ohh.
-Hmm. -Mm.
Well, judges -- inspiration or indigestion?
Mmm.
I guess now we know the secret recipe.
Well, Leto, it seems that the judges are speechless.
I dub thee the winner.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's all for this week.
Till next time, bon appetit, sweet meats.
[ Judges moaning ]
♪♪
Chirp.