"Ballmastrz."
Oh, boy.
[ Both laugh ]
Hey, you recognize me?
Wrap those big arms around my waist
and make me feel like I dropped out of high school again.
Agh!
Sheesh. Gaz is really cashing in on her winning streak.
Why can't I get some? This ball's got blue balls.
[ Laughter ]
Oh! Hey, babe. You know me, right?
How 'bout I rub up on your sweaty bod
and make you feel like you dropped out
of beauty school again.
Ugh. Grow some arms, you stupid bowling ball.
Ah! Your loss, skank!
Hey, how 'bout you, kitten? You want to hug it out?
If you do it with that guy's arms, sure.
You can hug me all night long.
Oh!
Wah!
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
♪ What's wrong with me
♪ I'm so incom...plete
♪ So sad and horny
♪ I just can't compete
♪ With arms and legs and hands and feet ♪
♪ Just wanna get laid, but I'm afraid ♪
♪ I'll never get any action at all ♪
♪ I'm a nobody with nobody
♪ Because I have no body
♪ I'm just a ball
Oh! A tear from a lonely wobble earns one enchanted wish.
I know what this sad ball wants,
but be careful what you wish for!
[ Laughs ]
Whoa!
[ All groaning ]
That was sure fun watching you guys
crawl home last night on your hands and knees!
What a great exercise to prepare for tonight's game!
Adolescent sarcasm noted.
[ Groans ] Guys, look!
I woke up with a body -- a big sexy rock 'n' roll commando one!
My wish came true!
[ All gasp ] -It's a miracle!
Are you sure that's regulation ball size?
Who cares? His body's mucho macho excellence
is only exceeded by my own consummate masculine hubris!
Right? I'm a somebody with a buff body!
Whoo! Look at this!
I can punch and crush with my mighty arms and fists!
All: Yeah!
Stomp and smash their skulls into concrete
with my sexy legs and feet!
All: Yeah!
I can -- I can --
Whoa. I can give you all the biggest,
tightest, warmest hugs I've always longed to give!
-Wait, what? -Whoa!
You first, Leto! Come here, you big softie!
This is a good hug.
[ Laughs ] Thank you, Baby Ball.
I love it.
Harder! Harder!
This is foreign, yet welcome.
♪♪
So warm, so safe, so --
Wait, wait, wait! What's with the nice-guy act?
Now that Baby Ball has a big, oversized body,
he also has a big, oversized heart,
and all the warm fuzzies that come with it.
I do! And so many wonderful new feelings
and exciting new things to do!
See you later!
Wow. I like the new Baby Ball.
I agree. Me too.
He's super.
I'm not convinced.
He's super.
I'm not convinced.
Let's see how he does on the field.
Where's Baby Ball?
I must witness the violent abilities
of his powerful new body in combat firsthand!
Maybe you should be a little sensitive.
He's going through changes!
Screw that! Rule number-one is show up for a fucking game!
Aah! Hi, guys! Sorry I'm late.
You will not believe
all the crazy new things I can do with my new body.
I made you this hand-cranked ice cream with my own two hands!
Homemade dairy products are an admirable gesture.
It's pistachio.
Pistachio!
All: Yeah!
Baby Ball, that all sounds great,
All: Yeah!
Baby Ball, that all sounds great,
but we're late for the game.
Don't worry, Ace. Follow me as I run there
on these fine muscular legs of mine!
[ All groan ]
Me-ouch!
A su-purr-ising entrance ended in cat-tastrophe
when the Leptons were defeated by the weakest
yet most adorable wittle team in the Consortium --
the Fluffy Kitty Paw Mobile Cookie Club.
It looked like a meow-sacre
when Baby Ball arrived sporting a radical new body mod.
Oh, how adorable.
[ Meowing ]
[ Growls ]
Leptons littered the field
with their in-fur-ier opponents.
Meow!
This is so wrong but it feels so good!
Until Baby Ball's su-purr-ising traitorous turn.
Meow.
Happy kitties, all in a row.
Happy kitties all score goals.
Happy kitties like milk in a bowl.
Happy kitties, go, go, go!
Leptons -- 0. Kittens -- 238. Hey-oh!
What was the purpose of Baby Ball's paw-ful behavior?
Will his teammates still consider him a fur-iend?
Great effort out there, everybody!
Baby Ball, what the fuck!
I'm sorry, Ace, but those kitties looked so helpless.
This is a game. Games are supposed to be fun!
-Gasp! -What?!
Seems like everything about you got bigger
except for your stupid little brain.
Ace, those words are hurtful.
Are you angry with me?
I-I... Ugh!
These feelings are all so new and confusing.
[ Cries ]
Eh, I'm surrounded by drama queens.
But I think I know how to fix this.
Did you ask me here so you can call me bad words
and make my heart hurt, too?
Nope! I'm here to help. You know what you need?
You need to get your new big-boy testosterone flowing
and get your new big-boy killing instincts going,
and nothing works better than a good ol' cleaning of the pipes.
Are you referring to sexual intercourse?
I mean, gosh, do you think that would work?
I'm willing to try.
I wouldn't say that too loud in here.
You might get what you ask for.
Hey, look! Your new hunky bod
is already attracting the local talent.
I'll let nature take it from here.
Your sexy muscles sure look hard.
Can we touch them and find out?
Uh, sure. M-My name's Baby Ball.
And I'm pretty sure that you're giving me an erection.
[ Crying ]
And then my little friend Ace says,
"We're a team but not you!
You're just a big ugly jerk,
and I hate you and your new big-boy body,
and we're not even best friends anymore!"
He was so angry with me, and it really hurt my feelings!
[ Crying ]
Huh? You got the hottest sex bod in town
and all you can do is mope it up?
I can't stop thinking about Ace.
I think maybe I lost my best friend.
I'll be your new best friend.
Aaah!
How dare you take advantage of me in this moment of weakness!
I barely know you!
[ Cries ]
[ Groans ]
Tonight, the Leptons take a ride on the wild side
with the lethal Jet Fuel Byrabies Moneroes!
Baby Ball: Aah!
His monstrous bod is too swole for the ball cannon!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Tires squealing, engine revving ]
Ah!
[ Screams ]
Circle up! Back to back!
We can't form Ballmaster, and it's all his fault!
Trust me, kid. Go long!
Hey, ugly!
[ Groans ]
Ah!
[ Grunts ]
Whoo!
Aah! Whaa!
Ace, I'm sorry I let you down!
I'm not sure how to make this better yet,
but do you think we can try?
Fine. But I don't forgive you yet.
Aah! Aaaah!
[ Laughter ]
How are we supposed to run
with you dangling down there like a giant nutsack?!
Let's try and twerk it out together.
Both: Aaah!
[ Grunting ]
[ Growling ]
Aaaah!
Hang on, my sweet, sweet, Ace!
[ Grunting ]
[ Laughs ]
Oh! Hmph!
Pew!
He sacrificed himself for me?
[ Cries ]
Ah.
Wha?
Don't just stand there, dummy!
Baby Ball! You're alive!
Ballmastrz.
♪♪
Ballmastrz.
♪♪
-[ Laughs ] -Yeah!
Ballmastrz.
♪♪
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Ballmastrz.
Yeah!
[ Laughs ]
Ballmaster does it again. Leptons win!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
♪ Baby Ball
♪ You were sad and filled with lust ♪
♪ A tear fell, summoning my angel dust ♪
♪ A body you wished for, and you did receive ♪
♪ But your problems it did not alleve ♪
♪ Your wish taught you that love could tear you apart ♪
♪ It's not easy having a heart
♪ You had a big-boy body this whole time, silly ♪
♪ You share it with Ace, it's called Ballmaster ♪
♪ And now that your journey has come to an end ♪
♪ Will you still call this boy your best friend? ♪
♪♪
Really, Baby Ball? Is it true?
Am I really a best friend? To you?
Really? Best friend?
Hell no! Go screw yourself, you stupid orphan bastard.
Gaz, that win made me thirsty.
Last one to the bar gets the tab!
♪♪
Chirp.
Rad.