"Ballmastrz."
Ace Ambling: "A Shooting Star Named Gaz Digzy
Falls Fast & Hard!"
[ Electronic beeping ]
Aboo Buvu: The most p-p-popular sport in human history is back!
-Back! -But b-b-before we go
to The Main Event, let's remember
why we play -- play the game!
-History Blurp! -[ Burps ]
The Rad Warz!
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Screaming ] What ha-ha-happened?!
The Rad Warz happened, dumb-dumbs!
Raaaaaad.
They weren't "rad"!
They were bad!
Baaaaaa...aaaahh!
A-After the Rad Warz destroyed the world,
the Gr-Great One united us and made us all pros!
Why fight in the real world
when you can get r-rich and famous
doing it in The Game? Because of it,
there will never be another Rad War again!
W-W-We owe everything to The Great One!
[ Electronic beeping ]
Tonight, it's cha-champs versus chumps!
W-with superstar Gaz Digzy's Boom Boom Boys!
Host the wor-wor-worst team in the Consorcium,
Osaka Rinn's Leptons!
My whole life I've dreamed of meeting my idol,
Gaz Digzy, and look at me now!
I'm not just meeting her,
I'm face-to-face playing against her in The Game!
Am I dreaming?
Will somebody pinch me?!
Flip Champion: [ Laughs ] [ Roaring ]
Your towel skills are admirable, Duleena Duneeda,
but a supple wrist is no match
for the hardened steel that wields
the instrument of your destruction!
Bring it on, stumpy!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Aaaaagghhhhh!
[ Thwack! ]
Hweugh-ahh! [ Groans ]
If you put as much effort into practicing
as you do goofing off,
we might actually have a chance out there!
That's a joke, right?
We haven't won a game since, like, ever.
Everyone knows we're the worst team in The Game.
But we're playing against Gaz Digzy!
The Gaz Digzy!
There's so much we can learn from her!
She's super-duper-times-100 amazing!
Digzy's the enemy! The enemy must fear you before they respect you!
Stop kissing her ass, you sniveling turd!
Don't yell at my sweet Ace.
Yaaaghh!
Don't yell at my sweet Ace.
Yaaaghh!
Only I can yell at my sweet Ace!
[ Grumbling ]
Across the Consorcium.
Fans and pros alike are getting psyched to the bone
for the new season!
Here's what they have to say!
Boom Boom Boys? Leptons?
Both pathetic against my Bow Wow Watch Out Now!
Wind me up, boys!
♪♪
Centurion: The Boom Boom Boys will be victorious, no doubt!
But they will fall with a heavy crash
when they meet The Centurions in battle!
Let's go l-l-live to the main event!
[ Audience cheering ]
-I love you, Gaz Digzy! -I love you, Gaz!
[ Cheering continues ]
Quasar: I arrive, my children!
The Supreme Susseran,
the Martial of the Meta Zone,
the Seats that Teach the Chi.
If you're ready for a game, let me hear my name.
[ Crowd chanting ] Quasar! Quasar!
Music to my ears!
Let's meet the teams!
From your home turf, the Boom Boom Boys!
♪♪
[ Fireworks crackle ]
♪♪
[ Cheering increases ]
And their opponents...
All the way from the UG, the Leptons!
Man: Leptons suck! [ Audience booing ]
At least they're not throwing stuff at us again.
Ouch.
Today, we begin the new season
of the glorious Game!
Teams, grab...your...Balls!
[ Whistle blows ]
Aboo Buvu: Ball Cannons are locked and loaded
as we're moments away from the start of the Game!
[ Whistle blows ]
F-f-fact break, fact break, fact break!
Back in ancient times,
Games were called sports and they sucked!
There were too many of 'em!
And too many stupid rules!
Who wants to remember all that complicated mumbo jumbo?
[ Audience booing ] Man: Sports suck!
That's why Quasar made it nice and simple for you!
One game, two rules.
[ Crowd chanting ] Use the Ball to kill,
use the Ball to score.
Thanks to The Game, there's no more war!
Bingo!
[ Scream-crying ]
And it's o-o-on!
Gaz Digzy leads the pack! And it's looks like she'll make
the fir-fir-first receive of the night!
[ English accent ] Missed your sweet touch, babe.
'Sup, boo?
[ Scream-crying ]
What a wanker.
I'm gonna knock that ball's dick in the dirt!
You think one of you dipshits
could actually catch me for a change?!
I got ya, Baby Ball!
Anybody but you, dipshit!
I got you, man.
Out of my way, dumbass!
[ Zoom! ] [ Roars ]
I almost feel sorry for these guys.
You're not goin' soft on me, are you, cupcake?
Well, I said "almost."
Let's take 'em to pound town!
♪♪
Aboo Buvu: And Digzy takes down Leto for a dou-dou-double!
He'll be ch-ch-chillin' in the P Cubes
with the official sp-sp-sponsors
of tonight's game, B.E.H.O.
Ad break! Ad break! Ad break!
♪ B.E.H.O. ♪
Speed up time and heal with the slime!
The original Biologically Engineered Healing Organism!
[ Grumbles demonically ]
♪ B.E.H.O. ♪ B.E.H.O. --
the official sponsor of The Game.
♪ B.E.H.O. ♪
[ Audience cheering ]
Gaz and Boom Boom Ball make the first score of the night!
While the rest of the Boom Boom Boys
have a little fun with the Leptons.
[ Gurgles, spits ]
[ Audience cheering ]
[ Mumbles indistinctly ]
Digzy and Boom Boom Ball continue to do-do-dominate!
Doesn't look good for their opponent!
But when does it look good for the L-L-Leptons?
[ Roaring ]
[ Audience cheering ]
You cheeky Digzy.
[ Laughs ]
I know these undisciplined amateurs
offer no challenge to you, Digzy,
but I, Flip Champion, am a different story!
And I'm done screwing around!!
By removing my arms and legs,
wearing this sensory deprivation mask,
and the study of Dark Tantric Scrolls,
I have maximized my anomalous Twelve-pack Rectus of Dominance,
refocused my chi through the Third Naval Chakra,
and awakened the ultimate bounty!
Behold -- the fruit of my sacrifice --
Umbilicus!
♪♪
[ Slice! ]
[ Laughing ] Wow!
Whatcha smilin' at, dirt farmer?
Actually, Osaka Rinn's primary industry is stilth millery!
The recycling of human waste from gar--
Hey, kid?
Yeeeeah?
You talk too much.
[ Laughs ] I talked to her!
I actually talked to her!!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Audience cheering ]
Gaz Digzy: Another victory.
Another easy victory.
If they only knew how boring it's become.
♪♪
Look at 'em. Patting themselves on the back.
What are they celebrating?!
I won The Game!
So why isn't this fun anymore?
Boom Boom Ball: Ohh, what's the matter, sour puss?
Who wants a pick-me-up?
[ Inhaling deeply ]
♪♪
Whoo! [ Grunts ]
Wow!
♪♪
[ Screeches ]
♪♪
[ Hissing ]
♪♪
[ Moaning ]
♪♪
[ Sirens wailing ]
Uhh, guys?
I think we're about to make the Evening Holo-tube Report.
Holy moly, it's Gaz!
[ Sirens wailing ]
She probably wants to congratulate us on a great game!
[ Sirens wailing ]
Out of the way, you ding dongs!
[ Tires screeching ]
[ Screaming ]
This day just keeps getting better!
First Gaz talks to me and now --
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
[ Electronic beeping ]
Aboo Buvu: G-Gaz Digzy, rising superstar,
with a br-br-bright future ahead!
Until she threw it all away in the city of sin,
Osaka Rinn! What a dump!
Gaz Digzy -- What a dumbass.
B-B-Bad girl, hot head!
W-W-W-W-Wild card!
Straight-up out-of-control bitch!
And that's just what her holo-card says!
Like a t-turd that won't flush!
Digzy's down-downward spiral
seems to have no end in sight!
Let's go live as she finishes her fifth stint
in celebrity re-rehab!
Three strikes and you're out, Digzy!
Don't come back!
Hey, screw you, a-hole!
What kind of resort don't serve alcohol?!
[ Angry murmuring ]
She looks even fatter in person!
What a worthless pig!
How many drinks you have today, wastoid?!
Ow. Agh, quit it!
Get her!
[ Crowd murmuring ]
♪♪
What do you want from me?
♪♪
What the...
♪♪
What's this, your kinky love den?
Not impressed.
You were always my favorite player, Gaz.
Skill, style, charisma.
The whole shebang!
But along with the good, you also got the bad.
And the ugly.
Take a good look at yourself, Gaz.
You're a self-destructive mess!
Ahh, come on, man.
You got to be such a douche about it?!
I really should ban you from The Game,
but that would be a waste of potential.
What are you, my dad?!
Look, I know I messed up!
I'll get my shit together if you put me back in The Game!
Oh, I'm putting you back in,
but you're going to have to earn it.
Always with the drama!
You created The Game --
you can do whatever you want!
Cut me some slack!
And where's the fun in that?
After thousands of years as the Supreme Ruler,
I've learned it can get dull at times.
I have to keep things spicy.
I'm sure you can relate.
Sure, I could just snap my fingers
and fix a lot of things,
but that isn't why I created The Game.
I created The Game to save humanity from itself,
by inspiring people to rise to their full potential!
And I've got a front-row seat.
Hey, get a load of these skid marks!
Whueeew!
Disgusting!
You need to learn how to wipe yourself properly!
Come on, guys! Give 'em back!
If you can help this team win just one game,
I'll think about putting you back on your old team.
Uuuuuuugh. You got to be kidding me.
"Ballmastrz."
"Ballma--"
Chirp.