[ Laughter ]
[ Grunts ]
♪♪
[ Roars ]
-[ Screams ]
♪♪
-Whoa!
♪♪
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Good morrow,
my loyal subjects!
What news have you brought
to your king?
-Sound off, Jaguar Warriors!
-Oh! Oh!
Our mom let us watch
a PG-13 movie.
Uh-huh. And we only covered
our eyes once!
Very good, very good.
Now, Eagle Warriors!
Let me hear your battle mottos.
Like the crested caracara,
I am beautiful and majestic,
but if crossed, I will not
hesitate to claw
the eyes from my enemies!
And I have sharpened
my toe nails into talons.
Actually, they were
already like that.
Weird, but acceptable! Now!
For my first decree
as King, I will --
Get Victor some ice cream.
'Cause you're dressed
like that crazy guy
that sells ice cream
in the parking lot.
We are not here to sell
frozen confections, Victor.
It's called "LARPing."
I'm the Aztec king, Valtezuma.
And this is my kingdom.
Wait, King? Kingdom?
-I want that.
-Ah, ha, ha.
There can only be one king.
Fine, I'll be the Queen, then.
You can't be any!
The LARPing handbook says
there can only be one.
Besides, you lack what us
Kings call the three S's.
Stoic, stern, serious.
You're too immature to be king.
But if you really want to LARP
with us, you can be,
mm, the Payaso Knight.
-A knight, huh?
What's my weapon? Oh!
What about a laser gun that also
shoots swords and spears?
And bees?
Come on, Val! Bees.
Uh...no. You get this.
Payaso's weapon is to make other
knights laugh to boost morale.
-You know, kind of like a --
-Jester!
-Oh, or a fool!
-Yeah.
Tell us a joke, fool!
[ Laughter ]
I have never laughed before.
Make my first time special.
Ahh!
I ain't nobody's fool!
Have fun flarping,
you flarpy flarps!
Suit yourself, Vic.
Suit yourself.
Ugh.
Who does Val think he is?
Three S's?
More like stinky, snooty,
and stinkier!
I can totally be more of
an awesome king than him.
Huh?
Cool. It's like a crown thing.
♪♪
Hey, it fits!
♪♪
What's happening?
[ Teeth chattering ]
-Ah.
-Yeah.
Ee.
[ Groans ]
[ Roars ]
Uh, ah.
I always knew those creepy
statues were watching me!
I didn't touch anything,
I swear!
Don't tell Grandma!
[ Groaning, sighs ]
Why'd they stop?
Wha...ah, ah.
So when I wear this crown,
it brings you guys to life?
Hey, that means I'm your king!
[ Speaking gibberish ]
Nice!
♪ Val's gonna be jealous ♪
Okay, I'm the king, so you gotta
do what I say, right?
[ Groans ]
Then go get me a cape,
a scepter, and a concha!
[ Grunting ]
[ Laughing ]
Woman: Is somewhere there?
♪♪
Mmm!
Knights of Calavera!
It's time to claim our kingdom!
Attention Flarpers!
Your new king is here.
Please worship me
and bring me free stuff.
Your new king is better
than that other king.
♪♪
Ahh, that's nice.
Hector, grapes, please.
[ Slurps ]
[ Spits ] Seeds!
Just as I asked.
Now I can spit them
in the faces of my enemies.
Vic! What's going on here?
Are those Grandma's
creepy statues?
I'm the king.
And these creepy statues
are my creepy kingdom.
Say hello to Flat Top.
Big Mama and Sweetie Poo.
Stinky, Pinky, and Sheldon.
The Head!
And finally,
my main man Hector.
He's so humble.
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for!
A serious display
of my kingliness!
[ Trumpet plays ]
[ Growling ]
-Huh?
-Ladies and germs!
May I present to you
the 21 Glute Salute!
[ Farting ]
That was only eight.
[ Laughter ]
That lingers, man,
that lingers!
Victor!
This is a complete mockery!
The LARPing handbook
eloquently states --
[ Spits ]
[ Laughs ]
It states
that there can only be one --
[ Spits ]
There can only be one king,
and if someone el--
[ Spits ]
Knock it off!
Fine, okay, okay.
-[ Spits ]
-Oh! [ Laughs ]
Good one, Hector.
That is it!
I must royally decree
that you hand over your crown!
What if I don't give you
my crown
and royally degree
that you go eat some dirt?
If you don't abdicate
the throne,
then you are in open rebellion
of my kingdom
and we must wage battle!
Then I guess you give me
no choice.
[ Grunts ]
[ Indistinct sounds ]
Huh?
-[ Grunts ]
-Aah!
Feel the fury
of the Eagle Warrior!
Huh?
Aah!
Ah.
Whoa.
-Aah, germs!
-Can I have some germs?
My warriors!
This isn't fun anymore, Val!
You're a bad king!
Bad king?
Vic, you're gonna stop
all this right now!
I don't take orders
from lowly pheasants.
Now bend the knee!
First of all, it's peasants!
-And never!
-Very well.
Warriors, send this traitor
to the stocks.
Hey!
Vic, you're making
a mockery of the crown!
Just because you don't
like my style
doesn't mean I'm not
super good at being king.
Big Mama, pie the fool.
Aah. That's it! I'm done!
Hey, why wasn't that locked?
-Mm.
-You don't deserve this.
What? My crown!
You jerk! Give that back!
I'm the king,
and I order you to --
Being king is serious,
Victor!
Gimme!
-[ Grunting ]
Great job, dingus.
Now no one is king.
You were never a king
to begin with.
If you would've just let me be
the queen,
this woulda never happened!
-[ Speaking indistinctly ]
Listen to me, Victor.
You're not listening!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Huh? What?
Hey, your king demands
you to come back here!
Oh, you again.
[ Grunting ]
-Whoa!
-[ Grunts ]
That's not funny.
Personally,
I found the experience
poignant and moving.
Nobody asked you, Guillermo.
I've had enough of this.
Where's that stinking crown?
-Here's half of it.
-What?
All: Yoo-hoo!
Huh? Gimme that!
These dummies need to remember
who's in charge around here.
Loyal servants!
I order you to bend the knee!
[ Laughter ]
Why aren't they listening to me?
-Is it 'cause my crown broke?
-Maybe that.
And maybe it's because
you lack a certain,
uh, three characteristics
of a ruler?
All three of which start with
a specific sounding syllable?
Ay de mi! Aluxes!
Out, out! Get out!
You little pests!
And good riddance! Huh?
I know you two
had something to do --
Ay! I need a vacation.
[ Groans ]
[ Grunts ]
Hector! Play time is over!
Your king is here.
Now surrender the crown and I
won't put you in the stocks!
I know
you're in here somewhere.
My crown.
♪♪
-Whew.
-Hey, Flat Top!
Get back here,
you little traitor!
Ha! Got you!
Huh? Uh-oh.
-[ Panting ]
-Hector!
Hector, don't you grind up
that crown, mister.
King Victor al rescate!
[ Panting ]
Ya, ah!
[ Laughs, farts ]
Hector!
Your betrayal hurts
more than you could know.
If you had any loyalty
left within you,
give me the crown
and all will be forgiven.
[ Grunts ]
[ Gasps ] Well, you're not gonna
blow me off that easy.
Aah!
Whoa! Hey, nice catch, Val.
Victor, again,
you are not king.
All this mess would have
never happened
if had just stuck
to being the clown.
No, Valentino, I'm the --
Wait, the clown!
Hector! You win.
You've bested me in battle.
And for that, I present to you
the honorary, major,
prestigious
Purple Glute Salute!
[ Farts ]
Huh?
[ Laughter ]
Huh?
Looks like the joke's on you.
Yeah!
All right! Pump it!
And shake it!
Get those glutes tight!
Are you done yet?
Heh, sorry, Val.
I'm just gonna miss these guys.
All right, loyal servants!
Everyone to their positions.
[ Mumbling indistinctly ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Farts, laughs ]
Oh, Hector.
An alux after my own heart.
-[ Grunts ]
-Huh?
Here, let me help you.
There you go, little fella.
It's been an honor serving
with you all.
I'm gonna remember each
and every one of you.
You know, Vic?
You really impressed me today.
I think you have the king's
three S's after all --
smart, sweet, and silly.
I'm sorry I acted like a jerk.
Thanks, Val.
That means a lot.
And while being king was fun,
I think I'm just gonna stick
to being a payaso for now.
♪♪