make the rules
Yay! We're graduating!
Oscar: No, Mom, it was Tom Brown
Ava: Hey, Pepper.
Your turn, Oscar!
who gave me that spork, not Tom Minzk.
Oh, Mortimer, you're growing up so fast.
Hedgehog! Where are we running to?
That's a nicely eyebrowed piece of pottery you've got there.
Hey, Grandma, don't you want a pic
No, not me!
with the smartest 'corn in the class?
To Susie's, to get my wand back!
Where does the time go?
Max, what are you working on today?
I can't take it anymore!
Good one, Hedgehog.
It's a tornado-style pot.
Wh-Whoa!
Oh, you mean the one with the pretty curly hair?
Is...time... of the essence?
Oh, thanks, Grandfather clock.
Hmm, yeah.
Aah! Ugh!
Hey, Ava, why are you getting rid of this stuff, again?
Hedgehog, this is beautiful.
You would've died to look like him.
What?
Thanks, Ava.
Okay! What'd I say?
Hey, Hedgehog, you done signing our yearbooks?
I'm spring cleaning!
-A grub made of sleeves! -A mutt full of fleas!
Do you remember? I took you out to buy
Guys, I've got to say,
Almost. It's just hard coming up with a different
I guess what I'm asking is, uh, must we run?
It's summer, Ava.
your pottery skills are impro...
Together: ...a rainbow clown wig?!
I procrastinated.
A gut ball of grease!
heartfelt message for every student.
Nope! I said...
Your turn, Oscar.
Hey, Ava. How's the yard sale going?
Am I going to see you guys at graduation later?
Thanks. I just ate a huge breakfast and --
What kind of pot is that, Oscar?
My butt's made of cheese!
Anyway, you don't have any sentimental attachment
-Pretty peachy. -Oh, look -- a violin!
It's a lint pot.
My boy here is the "key-nut" speaker.
to the spork, right?
It's, uh, for bits of lint and stuff.
Yep! Game over, kids.
Whoa. Whoa!
Neat! Ooh, there's something else in here.
I gotta go do my calisthenics or I'll get depressed.
I'm gonna put you on with your dad.
I don't think my pottery skills are improving.
We wouldn't miss it. Well, make sure
you get there early
Oof!
because there is a limited amount of seats.
What's wrong?
She must've stepped out. I'll just run in and grab it.
Whoa, baby Ava.
Everyone else is so good.
Check it out -- I'm a lemon slice! Squeeze.
I don't know how to have a conversation with my dad.
I like your lint pot, Oscar.
I didn't know she played the violin.
It has feeling.
Hey! Don't zest on my tasty buns!
Mail for Hedgehog!
Ugh, tell me about it.
Sorry I'm late, everyone, but check it.
Make way for a large pepperoni with extra Hedgehog.
Come on, Oscar, help me look.
Aww, she looks so happy.
It's from Ramona! What does that powerful
sorceress want?
Maybe just talk about the weather?
My violin!
Andy: Hello? Son?
Hurry up and find it so that we can get out of here.
Oh, sorry. Is this not for sale?
Lost it first thing this morning.
Oh, hi, Dad. Uh, how's weather?
You can have that for free.
-Wow! -That's so cool.
Great towels, everybody.
Dear Hedgehog,
Where is it?
Lucy, that's a huge deal.
Oh, um, the weather. Uh, the weather's fine.
Oscar, let's see yours.
your first magic lesson is scheduled for today.
Come on, it's gotta be here.
-Is it broken? -No. The violin sounds great.
You can have this grown-up cookie covered with toffees
My towel is... blue.
Ah, bup-bup-bup-bup-bup! Don't make that face!
Honey, try bringing up his interests.
Aw, come on, come on.
I used to love playing it, but then I got stage fright,
because you don't have anything to lose.
I know you're worried about starting from scratch
We both like "Dungeon Doug."
and now, I can't play it without screaming.
Well, if I could, I'd make a towel
with Susie as your teacher.
Yeah, that's a good start.
Ooh, thanks!
I am. It'll be okay.
The weather here in New Jersey is as disappointing
Geez. What happened?
Lucy, were you the last one of us to lose --
that looked like a tortilla and wrap me up like a burrito.
I was playing at my recital, and it was going well.
Take this card and punch it
as the end of "Dungeon Doug, Book 3 --
Hello, Susie.
Oscar! That's a great idea!
You have one reminder.
to -- to still have a baby tooth?
every time she gives you too much gruff.
But then, I started thinking about the audience,
Well, I think Oscar still has a baby molar.
-It is? -We should make those towels!
The Plight of the Soggy Guard."
I'll hear all about it.
Play reminders?
who was staring at me with those cold eyes.
He's just bringing up "Dungeon Doug" again.
Right, Oscar?
Whoops! Spilled my beans!
Hey, uh, Hedgehog?
It's the only thing we have in common.
Then, suddenly, those cold eyes were turning into cold notes.
Am I right?
This is going to be so cool.
What happens after the 10th punch?
Yeah, it would be cool. Too bad it's impossible.
It's fine. Just go with it.
What? Come look.
Did he say "yes"?
Maybe you get a free Susie --
He did?
You love "Dungeon Doug."
Hello, Susie.
Then, I couldn't play the notes because I was too cold.
-Why? -Make something on your own?
the worst prize in the history of "camp-kind."
You have one reminder.
I advise you to stop those vain judgments,
You're right.
Play reminders?
Then, the audience started booing.
as a fellow citizen of permanent teeth.
You can't. Towels come from stores.
Ugh! I don't want to start from the beginning.
That's too bad about the weather.
Susie's intimate deets.
Book 3 had so much potential,
A citizen of what?
But the world doesn't have to be like that.
I had a wand. I can levitate, for grape's sake!
Maybe we shouldn't -- Play reminder.
All the notes started booing,
but the ending was so unsatisfying.
so I couldn't do anything else but scream.
Let me tell you a story about my uncle.
I actually lost mine, too.
Good morning, Susie.
Wait. You're doing the lesson today?
Man, that guard!
-Awesome! -Oscar, my bro!
One time, he had a vision of making socks
Andy: I know! Wait. Wait.
Susie here with an important reminder from me to you.
Ugh. Real nightmare.
But we have to get to the graduation early to get seats!
Shushabee! Yeah, right. When?
that looked like asparagus.
Uh, w-what was his name again?
Remember, no matter what anyone says,
Haven't played since.
Here, Let me show you.
Well, he tried his best, and he failed!
I'll get there in time for the ceremony.
I-I can't remember.
This -- Last night.
you are a perfect, delicate princess.
Just save me a seat, okay?
Ugh, it's driving me crazy.
Prove it.
And that was the end of my uncle.
You're beautiful and strong
Uh...
Save seats?
Ask him if he had breakfast.
and the architect of your own awesomeness.
I wasn't finished!
Yeah. Show us.
You know this is the one thing I can't do for you, Hedgehog.
I'm talking, Sue. Geez.
Anyway, it's cool.
Mm, yes, prove it.
That was the end of my uncle's story.
Also, you're late for Meeting of the Minds
Um, well, kiddo, uhh, ooh, I'm stumped.
at the Bank of Heartforde at 9:00.
I mean, I do miss playing the violin,
Of course. That's a very logical request.
Wow. So he lived.
Is this seat taken?
but what are you gonna do?
Get a move on.
It's not an inspirational story, Oscar.
Nope! It's all yours.
Did you hear that, Oscar?
Well, I'll take good care of it, Ava.
I can respect that. It should be easy to prove.
I wish I could remember. If you think of it, let me know.
Not with that attitude, it's not!
My seat!
That must be where she took my wand.
We'll see you later.
I guess the easiest way to prove it would be to, uh...
But 9:00 was over an hour ago.
Look, I would love for you to make your own towels.
Is this seat taken?
Hey, y-you, too, Dad.
-I feel bad for Ava. -Me, too.
But if my uncle couldn't do it, no one can.
It's all yours.
Well, that was sort of okay.
Yeah, but don't worry. I bet it's one of those meetings
Oh!
We have to figure out a way
Ohhh.
My seat!
Why are dads so hard to talk to, Hedgehog?
where the first hour is them just gabbing
to get Ava to play the violin again.
Alexa, I think you'll be pleasantly destroyed
Ah buh buh buh buh?
You know what? I'm so dumb.
Why so awkward.
and talking about their weekend and stuff.
Without screaming.
when we prove you wrong.
The one I'm sitting in?
I completely forgot that I've been carrying
Ugh, I hear you, buddy.
You know, you're right.
-I have a plan! -I have a plan!
I doubt it, but good luck!
No. It's all yours.
Ooh, do you think it's the same plan?
my baby tooth around with me in my pocket
Maybe we don't know them that well?
Come on, let's go find that meeting.
My plan is, Ava got stage fright for the first time
since 9:00 last night. What?
Oscar: Tortilla, towel.
Your seat!
He's my dad. Of course I know him!
But what are you gonna do
I guess half this cookie belongs to you, Oscar.
Bah bah bah!
He has a job, likes to read chapter books,
if she won't give you your wand back?
during a recital. Right?
Tortilla, towel.
Goo goo ga ga?
So, I got to get her to return to the scene of the crime,
and has to drink coffee every morning.
If you take it from her, she'll just take it back again.
Psshew!
Cool. What else?
Yeah, well, we'll see about that.
get her back on the horse, and help her do a new recital.
-Yay! -Yeah!
How many tortillas do you think it takes to make a towel?
I'm a lot stronger than she thinks, you know?
Thanks for helping me out, Hedgehog.
No problem.
We do not have the same plan.
I can't say no to them! I feel like I'm letting them down!
I mean, something personal.
Um, yeah, for sure.
What?
Like, what was his dream when he was growing up?
I was gonna say we should get everyone in their underpants,
It's not like we're gonna be thrown in jail, or something.
Like if we layer them and smash! And smash!
Stronger than anybody thinks.
They always look so tired of standing!
He wasn't born to be just Oscar's dad, right?
'cause it's hard to have stage fright
I don't think that's gonna work. But look at this ad.
I have to go to Susie's.
Maybe ask him questions. Do a little digging.
The sooner I get these lessons over with,
when the audience is all in their underpants.
Dirt.
Are you Oscar?
Heartforde Towel Company.
the sooner I can get my wand back.
Or what might be easier
You work on that, and I'll do my thing.
Yeah.
We make custom towels?
Just use something to save my seat.
would be to figure out that guard's name
Molar Mole.
All we have to do it send pics and tell them how many we want.
You got this.
so we have something to talk about the next time he calls.
I've got a report of one newly dislodged baby tooth
"Closed for meeting."
Well, if Hedgehog's gonna become a celebrated witch,
I'm gonna go to the library.
of the molar variety.
You're a genius, my Hedgehog.
I think it's closed, Hedgehog.
I'm gonna become a seat-saving wizard.
Huh? Ava?
Hand it here, please.
Cool! Don't listen to me!
Uh...
Something's moving in there.
-Hi. -What are you doing up there?
Oscar! Time to wake up!
Courage, Hedgehog.
Oh, Margot, do you have "Dungeon Doug, Book 3"
Look, it's unlocked.
Aah! I thought you were asleep!
Courage.
Spring cleaning. I'm repainting the place.
Why not?
No way! I'm just on low power mode
Hey, Susie! I'm here for my magic lesson.
in the immersive books section?
Come on.
Ugh. I hate painting!
while we wait for our towel delivery.
Yes, we do. But why do you want to read that one?
It's a fake.
For your sake, I hope you have a good lawyer,
I share in your excitement.
Well, can you come here for a sec?
Yeah, looks like it's gonna rain.
The ending is terrible.
Um, excuse me. Excuse me?
you molar-faking swine!
But don't you think it's time to change out of your swim trunks?
Come back in an hour, after it clears up.
Can't have flowers without rain, Margot.
What? There's not a single cloud in the sky.
As you wish. It's on the top shelf upstairs.
What?!
Can't do that. Low power mode.
Oh, I thought I smelled something.
You're under arrest by the Molar Mole Fraud Squad.
I think you should do a recital.
What about that?
Top shelf, top shelf...
Anything you say above ground
may be used against you underground.
That's a used tissue.
A-ha!
The solution isn't just selling your violin,
Special Delivery!
Baby powder.
Enjoy!
Aren't you taking this way too seriously?
and squashing out something you love!
It's Stuart, your nemesis from the library.
It's just a fake tooth.
Big box for just 2 towels...
Yes, it is. The best way to get over your fear
Okay, let's go.
Who is it?
Hedgehog, call my lawyer!
Oh! I changed the order to 4.
Hedgehog. It's been an hour. I'm here for my lesson.
I know who Stuart is.
is to sell your violin, and not let the buyer
You don't have one. You're a child.
Hmm... where is that guard?
Then call my mom!
Did you forget to cross out my 2?
Excuse me, the bank is closed today.
come into your house and noodle around in your past.
Your hands are freezing! You can't do magic
with cold hands.
Oh, maybe that's the guard.
Oscar!
Or did you just write a 4 next to it?
Excuse me...
Well, call me "spaghetti," because I'm noodling.
Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup.
You could blow a knuckle.
If you'd like to return tomorrow,
Hedgehog, I would never cross out your 2.
Do some hand warm-ups and come back in an hour.
Dad? What are you doing here?!
after you've had your nap,
Look at this picture of you. You're so happy.
Son? I don't know.
This way.
-Whoops. -Well, let's see what we got.
No one told me I need hot hands.
I'm sure someone will be available to assist you.
That way, tough guy!
You should at least give it one last try.
Is this "Dungeon Doug, Book 3"?
Alright. Alright. Hup, hup.
Kind of small.
What are you even doing here, Stuart?
Forget it! I'm cleaning.
I asked for regular size.
Okay, I got hot hands. I'm ready.
Yeah, unh-unh! Not so fast.
It is!
Inside!
Cool.
Well, I already booked the hall.
Oh, no.
This fabric doesn't breathe. Wear something more comfortable.
Should we...hug?
If you're not into it, can you teach me how to play?
"Regular" means "small" in towel sizing.
I'm just here to keep any goober-fingered little rug rats
Dad! Osc!
If you want a regular towel, you have to order a "biggo."
Too comfortable!
Did you already put down a non-refundable deposit?
Ugh, gotta say something. Anything.
from snotting all over
Can we return them and start over?
You're too cheerful. Go read a sad book.
Hedgehog! Oscar!
this serious, grownup -- oh -- meeting.
Mm-hmm.
The receipt says no returns on custom orders.
Hello. Who's this?
Dad, what was your dream when you were growing up?!
Oh, man.
Bartholomole Hildebrandt Esquire,
And now all our chocolate money's gone.
Oh, dear. You look thirsty.
I mean, you weren't born just to be my dad, right?
Oh, really? Well, I'll have you know
I'll tell you what -- you paint my house,
finest lawyer in all Metropmolis!
Go get yourself hydrated.
that we're not here for a meeting, Mr. Know-it-all.
and I'll teach you the violin.
Maybe Alexa was right --
Of course not.
Are you here to represent me?
you can't make your dreams come true.
You look tired. Go take a nap.
Deal!
I always wanted to be a paleontologist,
We're here to open checking accounts!
Well, normally, yes, but it's Tuesday
Aah! Aah! Aah!
You can only hope to buy them in stores.
'Cause we're grownups, Stuart!
traveling around the world, finding bones.
and my name starts with a "B," so no can do.
Okay, I did everything you asked.
And we need checks to pay our bills!
Oh, Hedgehog, we do not have the same plan.
-Ah! -This is just a hiccup!
Whoa. Cool. What happened?
We can sell these little towels
Can we start?
Because we're responsible! Bah!
Oh. But you can
borrow my law book.
Ha ha ha! Kid, what's wrong with you?
I met your mother.
and use the money to make big ones!
You could never handle a checking account.
I never use it 'cause I'm so good.
And soon after that, you were born.
We just gotta hustle! Hust-le!
You look absolutely ridiculous.
Those are for serious non-babies.
Go change, and I'll pick you up from your cabin.
Hi, Oscar. What's up?
I'm so sorry I got you into this mess, Oscar.
Together: Hust-le! Hust-le!
Ohh.
Click! Click! Click! Click!
"You look ridiculous, Hedgehog.
Is that Dungeon Doug?
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
So, you were at the scene of the stage fright?
I'm gonna get this straightened out as soon as I can.
I'm the hero!
Thanks, Stuart. That's right,
Your hands are too cold, Hedgehog."
Thanks, buddy. I know you will.
Wow. Wow.
I have a lawyer because I'm a grownup!
Oh, wow.
Click! Click! Click!
Where did you even get that picture?
The book of Mole Law, complete and unabridged.
Who does she think she is?
Let's follow him to find that guard's name!
That's right,
I'm a grownup!
Click!
You have crossed a line, Susie.
Yes! Gimme five! Yeah!
That happened a long time ago.
Just revised this morning, as a matter of fact.
Ouch! Ow!
Man, that Stuart really cheeses me off.
Tortilla Towels! Tortilla Towels!
Get ready to be punched.
We need more practice.
-Tea? -Nah, I'm good.
Wait. I'll take that, Mr. Esquire.
So, about Ava's stage fright...
T-There he is.
I'd like to go right back in there and give him
another piece of my --
I'm gonna be Oscar's lawyer.
Well, sure.
Wrap the meats you are in our incredible Tortilla Towels.
Hole Punch Number 1 reporting for duty.
Ava and I had nice tea together before that rehearsal.
You! Guard!
Oh, hey, Hole Punch. Are you here to punish Susie?
Hello, guard!
Up-bup-bup. Maybe let's try a different way?
You can be his astronaut, as long as the judge doesn't mind.
Ava played so beautifully, until she got stage fright that night.
How many towels would you like to buy today?
Sir! Hey! Hey!
'Scuse me!
Huh?
Nah, I'm just gonna tell on her to Ramona.
I think I know just the thing.
'Scuse me! Excuse me!
Law number one, the judge is always right.
It looks just like a burrito!
She is being pretty mean to you.
Huh? You! Guard!
Come on!
She used to be so happy just from hearing
What's your -- Whoa!
Well, good luck, and don't mess up my book.
But it smells just like not a burrito!
Thank you! Finally, someone who understands.
the violin being tuned.
Um...
And now, all that's left are screams.
Thanks. Thank you.
Guard!
Did y'all go anywhere in your flying saucer?
Tastes just not like a burrito, too.
Okay, bye!
Well, this is a lot to learn.
What?
They're not for eating.
I'm saving this seat. My friend owns this seat.
What's your name?
No, we mostly stayed in.
We'd better -- Trial's starting.
This is super cute,
My name is !
It's actually illegal for you to sit down.
Finally got up early enough to go to the farmers market.
Ooh ooh.
Do you think it's because of that tea we drank?
and if it was bigger, I'd totally buy one.
Well, well,
Hmm.
But there's no room in my life for hand towels right now.
I'm saving this seat. My friend owns this seat.
Did we just do a bad thing?
He was cute, but I just can't take Tauruses seriously.
if it isn't the shameless counterfeiter.
I heard tea makes you sort of relaxed.
Mortimer: Hey, Oscar!
No. No, he's got a very nice backstroke.
My friend owns this seat!
Right? That's what I heard, too!
You know what I mean, Betsy?
Hello.
I like to eat tortillas. But I don't think they're cute.
What? No, I just wanted to let you know that graduation
Probably best if we guard his post for him till he gets back.
Okay, okay, that's enough chitchat.
What if I told you we could fix Ava's stage fright?
Oscar, don't respond to that.
Excuse me, elephants.
Glad everyone had a nice weekend.
Sorry.
isn't starting for like three hours.
Have you seen the guard from this post?
I've assembled you all here today to talk about...
You must be a fool to have pulled this clumsy caper.
I already tried everything.
Oh. Okay. Thanks.
I tried acupuncture, a psychic reading, couple's massage.
What do we do now, Hedgehog?
Uh...
this!
Here in Metropmolis,
Well, the peaches were just gigantic.
Nobody wants our towels.
We did it, Hedgehog.
His family's gonna get docked pay if he's gone again.
I even bought her a viola, trying to trick her mind.
we don't play by your silly above-ground ways.
Everybody does want them, Oscar.
Hedgehog!
I mean, these...
Tall man. Tall man.
Leaders, hello?
She screamed twice as loud.
Oscar, these laws are all nutso.
They just don't know it yet.
This is a wand?
Honey is a vegetable?
But how do we make them know?
For your first lesson, you'll organize
Ahem. Here I am.
A wand I saw Hedgehog using?
Did you try...
Last week was all Tuesdays?
every pine needle on the floor into height order,
First, you gotta put your clothes back on, Osk.
Mm. Alright.
Eeny, meeny, miney, chocolate.
Yeah, we had a candy slide and, uh...
underpants?
clean out the sap from the tree's air holes,
I did not.
No salad for Dave?
It's time.
Wait. What's my name?
Second, we need to get to them in the place
Okay, well, what if I told you that unbeknownst to all of us,
I read in a book that picturing the audience
What are we gonna do?
and wash every leaf.
What? You think I don't know my own guards' names?
in their underpants fixes stage fright.
No, Oscar, these moles are imbeciles.
where hand towels matter the most.
Ah-choo!
Uh, you can start now.
Betsy has been teaching Hedgehog magic behind my back!
I'll run circles around them.
-Their hearts? -Their homes.
So, I want put all the monsters in underpants.
Opening remarks.
That's really insulting.
When am I gonna learn magic?
Nice try, son.
Counselor, if you please.
What?! Oh!
But we don't wear underpants.
Kids! What do you want?
Kid, this is learning magic. Now, out of my way!
'Scuse me.
Oooooo-oo-oo.
Watch this.
We don't even wear overpants.
Good day! We'd like to speak to the monster of the house.
Where can I find Dungeon Doug.
I love this juicy drama.
Who says you need overpants to wear underpants?
Ladies and gentlemoles of the jury, I ask you this.
These nails aren't going to paint themselves.
Uh, he's in here. I saw him not even five minutes ago.
-Are you selling something? -Why, yes!
Ugh! I need your keys so we can lock this
What is free will, really?
in the safe until further notice.
Hmm?
In fact, the most marvelous and --
Ahh! Gross.
Andy: He wrote something in here.
Hmm.
During this trial, I intend to demonstrate
Alright, let me just stop you right there.
Hey! It's natural.
What is it?
Come on.
It says, "If found, please return to 619 Old Road."
Seriously, just pass your keys up here so we
can get on with it.
that Oscar's sheltered upbringing
has left him so impressionable
But you don't even know what we're selling!
Okay.
that he effectively lacks any agency at all.
I don't want any!
Georgina: These oil pastels should do the trick.
I'd do anything to see Ava that happy again.
Oh, the guard's address.
I call this condition "impressionablitis."
Mortimer, please!
The head guard said he has a family.
Great! Let's make some underpants!
We are trying to make our dreams come true.
Voilà! A magnificently perfect Pointillist mustache.
They'll know his name.
Hedgehog: Aah!
Stop! I know you're new here, Counselor,
Ugh. Oh, alright.
Now, Oscar, we can't just leave our post...
Hey, make sure those curlers are tight.
Oh, Hedgehog, we do not have the same plan.
but all opening statements must be delivered
Just this once, because it's you.
Thanks, Georgina. This is gonna be great.
without leaving a note!
Uh! That's it!
"If you're nice, go on in,
I'll do yours, Hedgehog.
while standing on one leg.
Oh, hey, Hedgehog.
Uh, Hedgehog?
If you're not, please go somewhere else."
Well, a deal's a deal.
Law 751.
Let's start with a simple classic.
I didn't think I'd be punched again so soon.
Oh. Sorry.
Nice job on the legible penmanship, son.
Hedgehog, what's this?
What's up? I'm so glad you're here.
As I was saying --
I'm designing a rudimentary siege engine, a tank of sorts.
Stop! Law 87.
Take it away, Hedgehog!
Susie's the worst, right? Tell Ramona everything.
Anyone standing on one leg must also be touching her nose.
Life, it's messy.
We're here, and we need to be...here.
Hmm.
Stuart's gonna rue the day he stood between me and my wand.
Every day, we get our hands dirty.
Uh, sure.
Aah!
Okay.
Every day, we wash those dirty, dirty hands.
I-I'll go tell her right now.
That's all the way across town.
Uh, so, as I was -- Stop!
Well, lucky for us, I ran track in college.
But that's crazy.
Aah!
But you're not crazy.
It seems you can't be too close
We wash, rinse, and repeat, only to get our hands dirty again.
Buckle up, son. Whoa!
to the violin without screaming.
So, when the trial is through, you will see then,
Wait! Don't you see?
What?
I think you just need a bit of distance
Whoa. You're really fast.
he can't help but do what it takes to fit in.
Susie put Stuart there to throw you off your game
from the violin in order to teach me.
And sometimes we wonder -- what is it all for?
Thank you, son.
Phew! Done.
so you'd make mistakes!
Atrocious.
You know, this is how I met your mother.
Is this endless routine all we have?
You ran into her?
And it's working!
I suggest you brush up on your mole law, Counselor.
Leaves washed, holes cleaned, pine needles and cones sorted.
What? No!
You may have a point.
Hmm.
And then, you look at your hand towel.
No, she was a sports writer for the university press.
Don't worry, though, 'cause my plan is foolproof.
You found anything useful yet?
Your sad, grimy, faded old towel, hanging by a thread.
Done!
Cool. I mean, that's actually cool.
Wow. You're fast.
Your plan?
Mm, maybe this one?
Ava says you need to play a little faster.
It's about courtrooms being hippopotamuses on holidays
Too fast. What?
Tell me everything.
Props. Props?
Well, it's a long, sappy story,
And you think to yourself...
You forgot to dry the leaves. See?
but once upon a time,
Elaborate props.
How did she seem? Like, a little calmer?
if the defendant is over 10 years of age.
...gosh I love tortillas!
They're all crusty.
your old man was quite the hot pepper.
Ooh-boo-boo. Thank you,
Saxophone.
Ugh! I'm not getting paid for this.
Well, that leaves you out, you big baby.
What?! What?!
You better do it over.
Dad, stop.
Now, who's next?
What? Too spicy for you?
Fine. Tell her "okay."
Lucy?!
Well, now, you can reach for one of these!
Yes! Are you kidding me?
Gosh, I don't know what to do.
You said you'd go first.
Will the witness please take the stand?
No, we're in front of the house.
This doesn't make any sense.
I'm trying to be a witch, not a forest janitor.
Hedgehog's smart, responsible, and conscientious.
You're next, Howard. Hold out your leg, please!
Oops. Got to run.
I mean, maybe if the towel was bigger...
Hi, Dad. Oh, hi, Dad.
Now, Lucy, the defense would have us believe
Hedgehog, the best witches are forest janitors.
I don't see why she can't learn magic.
10 inches. Arms, please.
then I could wrap up my body like a burrito
Correct. I am your parent.
Hedgehog has a lot of potential.
and forget my troubles.
Wha?
Now tell me, uh, what's my name.
100 inches.
that you teased Oscar, and excluded him from the group,
Now, clean it again, but this time with some TLC.
Yeah, Susie, Hedgehog would be a great witch.
Daddy.
80 inches.
You could wrap up your hands
No, my real name.
Listen up, monsters!
making him desperate to fit in.
That's "tree leaves cleaned." Mleh!
You know that. So, why are we here?
We didn't just measure for fun.
and use them as hand burrito mitts!
Father. That's...not my name.
'Cause some of us have plans.
This is a pair of underpants.
Is this true?
Well, are they towels? Or mitts?
No, Your Honor. In fact, he teased and excluded me.
Papa!
Study them closely.
No. What's Mama call me?
Sure they are!
Mortimer: And then just go take a look around, you know?
This seems really half-baked.
Together: A mistake!
And just this morning, he -- he stole half my cookie!
There's so much great -- Need I remind you
all of Mildred?
Both: Whoa. Two at once? That's a little harsh, no?
Ugh, dang it! What do we do?
And this is yeti yarn!
But...
Let's knit some underpants!
-Where's Daddy's head?! -Hey there!
Everyone said she's so smart, so much potential,
She's just trying to teach you -- Oh!
Everything is okay.
-Underpants! -Yay!
Lucy, what are you doing?!
A two-headed monster! A two-headed monster!
They're gonna put me in jail!
We can't even sell one hand towel.
Dumb Susie.
a real preteen prodigy.
Pfft. Chill out, Oscar. It's only for six months.
Oh, no. There's no monster. See?
Oscar, I think I'm done!
Maybe Alexa was right, we're not entrepreneurs.
Sorry. This seat's taken.
Those are great underpants, Blanche.
Six months?! You got to tell them the truth.
as scary as they seem
We're entreprenothings.
Put them on. -Okay.
I don't even know what that word means.
Excuse me, is -- Sorry!
This seat's taken.
Ha!
Oh, we're all about truth, now, huh, cookie boy?
Oh, no.
-Whoops! -Oof!
Whatever. I don't care anyway.
Stop! Bailiff, get her out of here!
Hmm!
See those holes, there?
Uhh. Aah!
working as a team
Oh, right.
-Puddle, are you okay? -Puddle, are you okay?
Susie: But she never learned to use her powers responsibly.
I'm so sorry, you guys, but this seat is so taken!
I'm fine! And I didn't spill my bubble water
And when confronted about it,
No.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
we upset you
Eh. I don't know about this, Oscar.
But Judge, what about my cross-examination?
that I've been looking forward to all day.
she threw a tantrum and left home.
Ah! I'm getting kind of good at this.
we met you
Monsters, I realized I've neglected to give you all
Ugh!
Uh...new law.
Ah, refreshing!
your daddy's given name?
All Lucys shall not be cross-examined,
some crucial information.
-Towel? -Thank you!
Excuse me.
Allow me to demonstrate how to step into underpants!
but rather, there'll be, um, lunch break instead.
This is a superb body towel.
Muh hoo?
Together:
I'm sorry. This seat's taken.
I don't think they get it.
Oh, goodness! My hat!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Very absorbent.
Aah!
Actually it's a hand --
Please! I promised Hedgehog I'd save her seat.
Aah! Aah!
Oscar: Mm, I think that went okay.
It's a hand-designed full-body towel!
Yeah, maybe. But what are we gonna do?
Take my tater tots. They're all I gots.
Ha! Aah!
Aah!
I do love bespoke bath products.
to achieve now, and we must
Oh!
Yay! Whee! Yay! Whee!
I can't learn all these laws.
All: Underpants! Underpants!
And even if I could, the judge will just add more.
Check it out, I'm a burrito!
let's try it
She's a witch! She's a witch, she's a witch!
One for The King, please!
Well, maybe instead of all the laws,
Here!
Just be sure to tell all your friends
you could just focus on one, like a one-pronged attack.
about our tortilla towels!
tall man out
Of course I will. I'm a tastemaker.
Susie: She walked into the woods that night and disappeared.
Okay, it's all cleaned
and dried.
One law. One law.
Bye!
Hedgehog?
What? All-you-can-eat pies?! Oh.
Wow, so you really don't have stage fright?
-Our first two customers! -Our first two customers!
That was amazing. Where'd you learn to sing?
If Hedgehog goes bad, we don't know what she'll do.
Hedgehog? Oscar, shh!
If Puddle wears our towel to the alien beach,
I'm scheming.
Hmm.
10 years of glee club.
You're not thinking about the audience?
She could end up blowing all our covers.
Judge: Now, Oscar, you must answer every question
we could sell the rest of our stock in a few weeks!
Not bad, not bad.
Nope. I don't get stage fright.
Guess it paid off.
Oh, wait. Hold up.
Guard! Guard!
As Prime Monister, I speak for the monisters --
I'm not thinking about anything.
and must follow all instructions,
Dungeon Doug is under attack! You must help him!
See, Ava, getting over stage fright
and that's all there is to it.
You forgot the pits.
I mean, monsters. And you have our support.
First one awake gets to pick the TV channel!
is just about turning your thoughts off.
Counselor, you may proceed.
Looks like you'll have to do it over one more time.
He was across town by the main entrance to the city!
Yeah, it's not necessary to talk. Just give me your key.
I think, if you just tried to play --
Counselor?
Man, not me.
There was supposed to be a guard on duty,
Thank you. I accept your apologies.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
That's it! What's it?
You know what they say, though -- third time
you fail stinks the most.
I just think about everyone watching me,
Hedgehog: Judge, if I may.
I don't make the rules, but I live by them!
but there was a just a note instead!
Am I the only one here who thinks Hedgehog
and absolutely messing up, and everyone booing me,
Whoops.
Breaking news!
and then feeling dumb for the rest of my life.
Now, then, Oscar, will you please let the court know
Darn you, Susie!
is mature enough to handle it?
Our beloved king has made a commercial for a towel!
where you were at 10:00 this morning?
Georgina: Ooh! There we go.
And in a shocking twist, this towel looks...
Hey! Don't talk to your teacher like that.
No can do. I don't know how to tell time.
But it's cool you don't have stage fright.
You're no teacher.
Oscar: Very nice. Now, hold still.
like a tortilla!
I can feel you leaking power, Doug!
See you tomorrow.
Also, I don't know what "court" means, or who Oscar is.
Let's take a look at the sensation
You're just messing with me because you don't actually
Exquisite.
Huh.
that's taken the palace by storm.
want me to learn magic.
Stop! Why is Oscar putting on this foolish act?
That's why you took my wand.
-Dad, look. -Huh?
I'll admit, it's not bad.
The King: Hey, friends.
That's why you're making me do fake work.
What are we doing, again?
Are you on the beach crying because you're not a burrito?
Holy bowl. I can see him!
'Cause Hedgehog told me to.
You want me to give up so there's not another witch.
Morning, Hedgehog! How's your day going?
Counselor?
Both: Onward!
Well, stop and get yourself a tortilla towel!
You're going the wrong way! Turn around!
Where are you going, Mister, with...
Judge, you just said Oscar is acting foolish,
Great! I'm pretty much ready for the recital.
I am? That's crazy.
That's adorable. You think I'm threatened by you?
It's soup and salad. I'm delivering this to grownups.
which means he can't be a fool,
I swear I saw the guard go downstream.
-We are, too. -I'm gonna keep practicing.
Oh, you want to be a taco?
since he must act to seem like one.
This is how witches have trained for thousands of years,
Y-You saw the guard? Never mind. Turn around.
Tss -- I mean, to the meeting.
Wait, why are you practicing?
-Easy! -Tortilla towel!
Correct?
Hodgepodge.
I am French.
An enchilada? Nothing simpler.
What? Okay. There he goes!
Oh, my plan changed. I'm doing the recital.
Yes. And...?
It requires patience,
I don't speak French.
Tortilla towel!
and patience is key to being a good witch.
And so, I rest my case.
He must've paddled the whole river loop.
Go that way.
What?
Or maybe you just wanna chill quesadilla style!
Hedgehog, I have so many underpants in motion right now!
-What? What? -What do you mean?
When do you ever have to be patient?
Gosh, I didn't know.
Explain yourself.
-Tortilla towel! -Whee!
You just magic your way out of everything.
Hang on tight, kiddo.
-Well... -Okay, look. It's fine.
Well, as a rotten little show-off, I'm glad you asked.
Hup!
I know Hedgehog. She's no Mildred.
Duh! Because I can.
Can you just bring Ava on stage when you're done?
The King: Buy Oscar and Hedgehog's tortilla towel.
That's the difference between you and me --
We can't afford to be afraid of things
As you know, the first law of Metropmolis is
By royal decree.
I actually have skill.
that haven't happened yet.
Great!
the judge is always right.
-Wow.
Do you really want to start a beef with the witches?
Oscar! Are you watching this?
I have skill!
So, you were right when you said that Oscar is not a fool.
Huh?
Oh, yeah? Let's see it.
Allô, mon chéris.
Look, Puddle told the entire alien world about our towels.
What's so funny?
But, and I'm sure the stenographer will concur,
Zebras bubble gum pants for goats,
I, 'ow you say, thought you might be 'ungry
Uh... sounds good!
Nothing. It's just...
We sold 15,000 of them!
it's time for us to float!
you know what's more fun than being a paleontologist?
the second thing you said when we entered the courtroom was...
for a petite sa-lad.
Alien News here.
Look! A shooting star!
Oh, yeah. This plan is gonna work.
You must be a fool to have pulled this clumsy caper.
How do you feel about having 15,000 unfilled preorders?
Being your dad.
I am French.
Ah, it's a long time since just the two of us did something.
Oscar, I don't know how you got in here, but get out.
15,000!
Therefore, if one must be a fool to have committed this crime,
But we we're just trying to make 2 regular sized ones!
I'm about to lock up a wand.
Dear shooting star, please bring Hedgehog back soon. Love, Oscar.
Yeah.
Welcome, monsters!
This reminds me of when you used to take me
No!
Allow me to introduce you all to our friend, Hedgehog!
and Oscar is no fool, then Oscar is free to go.
Don't worry, we'll just have to make 15,000 towels,
Aah!
to the boats at the park.
It's Hedgehog dressed as a sa-lad.
and then we can make 2 towels for us!
And afterwards, you always wanted banana splits.
-Yeah! Hedgehog! -Hedgehog!
Ta-da.
Uh...
Wait! I've worked so hard for that wand!
That's how business works.
Aah!
Can you tell our viewers why you haven't shipped my order
Yeah, 'cause the boats were yellow like bananas.
Why is it so bad if I have it?
Well, I know when I'm beat.
What happened?
Remember that time at the Chocolate Iguana?
See? What'd I tell you? Angry salad.
That was a truly fine display of Mole Lawyering.
that I placed 2 minutes ago?
You went too fast to have proper form, and you lost control.
They ran out of bananas.
This is exactly the type of stuff Mildred would do.
Doing great, sweetie.
I want my towel!
Para...solis!
And I started crying.
Yeah, I'll say. That's the smartest thing you've done
Mildred couldn't wait.
Pajamas: Customer service.
Aah!
And that made me start crying,
and then everyone in the shop started crying!
Mildred tried to take everything she wanted.
Uh...uh...
since you made me that fake tooth this morning.
Yes, we're working as fast as we can.
Everybody thought she was so special.
Oh, no. She's panicking.
What else you got, genius?
Sir! That's a very rude thing to say.
Halt! Hey.
Monsters, put on your underpants!
Are you mad at me?
Uh...
But you have to learn like everybody else!
You're the guys who knocked me into this river.
Hedgehog? Um, okay.
This!
Speak to the management?
Wait. Don't!
Yeah, sorry about that.
Thank you.
Well, I'm gonna go poke around out there.
Maybe you should speak to anger management!
All: Uh-oh. Susie's gonna get it.
We were just trying to find out what your name is.
Maybe I can find the first mole?
Actually, forget it. I'm not gonna lock this up
for safekeeping.
The lawyer?
Hello. Customer service.
Guard.
I know, but don't you have a real name?
Yes!
She knows this part. This is the easy part.
I'm tossing it in the middle of the ocean.
Hedgehog, great news!
How many does that make?
Susie!
I don't...huh. Yeah, I guess not.
Uh, 14.
See? I told you, Ramona.
No! Reconsider, Susie!
Why is she getting stuck here?
What?
I found this dental mirror,
Nice! Gonna grab some snackberries
Hedgehog's too impatient to learn magic.
You don't know how conscientious and reliable I can be.
She's getting in her head about it.
and hop right on the next 14,986.
I tried. I did the tree cleaning thing.
Of course! That's why we couldn't remember.
so we can look around corners when we escape!
Wow. Good job, Oscar.
Sorry, Susie, I can't let you through this door.
Boo! Boo! This is an assault on my little ears!
Yes, but you didn't explain why it's so important.
He never had a name!
Plus, I got the key to your cell.
If we don't go to the bathroom, sleep, or eat,
This calls for some mulled jelly juice.
Wha-- How?!
You're just punishing her for having potential.
Aah!
Terrible!
I found one of the guards, and pushed him over.
we should be done in...
Oh, yeah, you're stronger than me.
Do you have my cape?
Boo this!
Now, you know what happens after 10 punches.
Ramona: Enough!
Oscar, I love you!
4 years!
Now, let's get the heck out of this crazy place!
Ramona? How long have you been here?
I'll just work and snack at the same time.
But...
Long enough.
No guards around. They must all be pushed over, or something.
That shouldn't create any easily avoidable problems.
Here's to you, no-name guard.
Butter Goth, can you turn the camera toward Susie?
Ugh!
Actually, from now on, I'd like to be called Diana.
Let's go.
Earnesto encouragemento.
Order 15 here I come.
Um, Waiter?
-Ooh! -Ooh!
Look! There's a special door!
Diana!
Oui, oui.
Maybe it leads to the surface!
Stop! You're going to stain the towels!
Huh?
Hedgehog, I want you to know
Together: Diana!
Ava, you played something without screaming.
Dungeon Doug is dueling the applesauce
that I think you're an amazing talent.
Lovely. Thank you, Butter Goth.
I did? I did!
Root beer time at last.
Hedgehog, having a job is making me sad.
In fact, you're better than I was at your age.
out of some foe on the riverbanks!
I was so worried about you
Pointed-hat lady!
Together: All hail Dungeon Doug!
Susie, can you see me? A-Am I coming through?
So, if you keep working hard,
I didn't even think about my stage fright.
Now you're attempting a criminal escape?!
The customer is always mean.
I think you're gonna be a great witch.
Nope, can't see you. You're in frozen time,
Tell us the story of besting your enemy!
And I really mean that.
and we're in a bank basement, so...
Guards!
Maybe Alexa was right.
Actually, I don't know how to say this,
Oh, come on, Your Honor.
Ah, Ramona, you beautiful sorceress.
She was just trying to help me.
Creating something on your own is impossible.
Because I was obsessed.
but he, uh, got away.
This is Mortimer. We see and hear you perfectly.
No! I was wrong! You guys worked so hard!
Oh, I feel sick.
All: Boo!
Coming out of retirement, MoMo?
Obsessed with being embarrassed
You stink, Dungeon Doug!
because I was the late baby in my pottery group.
Aah! Uh, what now?
Not quite. Oh, it's good to see you all.
In a day, you got so much further than my uncle
I-I had him just where I wanted him,
Yes, pottery group.
ever did in his whole life.
Figure it out. Remember what you did all day?
I was even embarrassed because I still have a baby molar.
and then, o-out of nowhere,
-You're amazing! -You're amazing!
And you've got something that he didn't have.
Yeah, I cleaned the tree a thousand times and
Susie, it was I who told Betsy to train Hedgehog.
It worked! She saw the underpants.
there was a boat parked right here --
right here, in the No Boat Parking zone.
But so what?
Your friends! We're here to help!
collected raw materials for building a rescue device!
Yes, I have a baby molar. I can live with that.
Seriously? Oh, my gosh.
I mean, what kind of a person does that?
Betsy was just a pawn?
What I can't live with is Hedgehog getting thrown in jail.
Well, look who's learning. Treeweavis lifenetticus.
Yeah, I thought I was gonna catch him.
Ava! Brava, Ava! Magnificent!
Susie, I've been trying to tell you,
But then I didn't.
Oh, you did great! One of your best.
Take me! I'll go for twice her time.
How many does that make?
but you refuse to listen.
Thanks, Blanche.
With this one...
The end.
I had Betsy begin Hedgehog's training
Hmm? Hmm. Hmm.
Why are you all wearing shorts?
37!
I-I should've remembered.
Aah!
No! No!
Margot! Margot!
since you've been otherwise occupied
They're not shorts. They're underpants.
These certain tree parts are the base ingredients
How did it finally come out now?
I quit!
and neglecting to do it yourself.
Address my unemployment checks to the dresser!
So, how was it this time?
What are underpants?
Your baby teeth fall out when you're mature,
in this area of magic.
Terrible! But guess what.
and that was a very mature speech you just gave.
Now, Susie, you will not destroy Hedgehog's wand.
Wait. You don't know.
My dad was in there, too. Isn't that bonkers?
Hey, lazy kids! Where's our towels?!
It was? Oh, yeah.
So, why did I...
That's pretty rare,
Yes!
Oh. This was a waste of everyone's time.
I planned it out that way, quite maturely.
But you will lock it up.
That only happens if two people who know each other
Babies!
are reading the exact word at the exact same time.
No.
The whole camp is overrun with cranky aliens!
See, the first step is knowing your tools.
Rose water soda, my treat!
Then, when you're good like me,
But Hedgehog will continue to learn magic.
Hand it here, please.
Ship these towels faster! -Help us, then.
you get to improvise fancy spells with them.
I can't wait to tell my dad.
What? Okay.
It's been fun, Oscar. I'll see you later.
The sooner we're done, the sooner they're gone.
Thanks, Margot.
But why did the leaves have to be washed?
But she has to be taught by you, Susie.
-Yeah, later. -Bye.
Baby tooth certificate.
-Ugh, fine. -Really?
Oscar, wait.
Your dad isn't on the island,
No! No!
But if all these underpants didn't work...
That's bail.
To boost their confidence.
so the rules of magic work differently for him.
You two are free to go.
Yep, I'm now your new CEO.
The self-esteem makes them strong.
And you still stop hammering on about Mildred!
Hostile takeover, baby.
You mean he won't remember any of it?
I guess you really are teaching me magic.
You wanted them to boo?
Taco. Enchilada.
Ooh! Ooh!
Not the way you do. Sorry.
You planned the stage fright all along.
Burrito. Taco.
Duh.
Enchilada. Wand change.
I did plan for Ava to come on stage,
I'm sorry! This seat is taken! It belongs to Hedgehog.
Ohh.
Burrito. Taco. Enchilada.
Ring, ring! Ring, ring! Ring, ring! Ring, ring!
and rescue me from being booed.
But to be honest, the stage fright was real.
Sorry. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Thanks.
Oscar: That was the last one!
-Thanks, Susie! -Thanks, Susie!
Ring, ring!
What a meeting.
Oscar, Hedgehog, where you have you been?
Hedgehog, you made it! Of course.
Hello?
Oscar! Is that you?
It's scary out there, Oscar.
Whatever, I'll see you guys at the next board meeting.
Andy: Hey, Oscar. It's me.
You both look so much older.
I would never miss acorn graduation.
I was skimming "Dungeon Doug" to find that guard's name,
I didn't recognize you! You're a natural waiter.
But you can't let that stop you.
Wow, you can really tell?
I'll be announcing layoffs.
It's the biggest day of their lives.
Ava just needed to get out of her head.
I lost my baby tooth. And I'm a lawyer.
Oscar: We did it! Full-sized crew towels.
and I zonked out mid-sentence,
And I need to get out of this huge pile of underpants!
and I had the craziest dream.
Aww, merci beaucoup.
Oh. I meant because you both look so horrible.
That was fun.
All: Whoo-hoo! We did it!
You and I were in the book together.
See you later.
We should make earmuffs shaped like avocados next.
Here, just take it.
And then, well -- I-I don't want to bore you.
Yay! Chase your dreams, little acorns.
Hmph.
Seriously, please help me.
No way, Dad. Tell me everything.
Who's Mildred?
What? What'd I say? What?
Eeny, meeny, miney, chocolate.
Uh...new law.
Hedgehog, I would never cross out your 2.
Take my tater tots. They're all I gots.
My name is !