‐ [inhales deeply]
Oh, boy. Okay.
‐ Just stick it in me!
‐ All right. Coming up.
Hmm.
‐ Just get it over with.
‐ Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit.
Ally: Stick it in! ‐ Okay, I'm about to.
I just don't wanna hurt you.
‐ Just get on with it. ‐ Okay, fine. Fuck it.
‐ Ow! ‐ Oh, sh‐‐
‐ Jesus, fuck me ragged. Paul: I'm sorry.
I'm sor‐‐ I'm really, really sorry.
‐ All you're meant to do is just stick the needle in.
That's all you gotta do. ‐ I know.
I'm really sorry‐‐ I thought that's what I did.
I'm sorry. ‐ [sighs]
‐ Fuck, you're doing brilliantly.
‐ No, I'm not.
I'm being an absolute lunatic asshole.
I could very easily bite someone's face.
I just‐‐I want it done.
‐ Egg harvesting soon.
‐ Oh, fucking joy.
‐ No, I just‐‐I just meant it's a minor procedure.
‐ Minor?
You try having a needle shoved up your vagina.
‐ I meant minor as in it's 20 minutes.
[sighs]
I‐‐I know that you're doing the doggy work here.
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ All right?
And you're right.
I wouldn't wanna have a needle
shoved up my vagina.
But I promise you
it will be worth it.
‐ Will it?
‐ Yes.
‐ Ugh, when are we gonna get rid of all this stuff?
‐ I've gotta do a charity shop run.
Then we'll have more space.
‐ We'll always need more space.
We're like goldfish. We grow to fit the tank.
[surreal music]
No, you're looking at it all wrong.
How can you not see it?
‐ I can see its head. I can't see its wings.
‐ No, what you're seeing as its head
is actually its head and its wings.
[laughs] ‐ Twat.
I love our thing of seeing pictures and patterns
in the damp, Ally, and I fucking love it,
but I am wondering‐‐
‐ Should we move? ‐ Yeah.
‐ Mm. ‐ Stop renting.
Buy somewhere bigger.
Room to swing a cat.
‐ Two cats. [both chuckle]
‐ Take out a crippling mortgage
and spend all our savings.
‐ Okay, fuck it.
I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
‐ Just everything. ‐ [chuckles]
♪ ♪
Fuck, I can see its wings.
‐ Yeah! ‐ [laughs]
‐ [chuckles]
Paul: [moans]
[groovy music]
♪ ♪
[exhales sharply]
♪ ♪
Knock, knock. Luke: Come in.
‐ You all right, mate?
Broadstairs in 40 minutes, yeah?
‐ Do I need a jacket? ‐ Probably.
Is it okay if I put this down here
temporarily? ‐ What is it?
Paul: It's a load of your old stuff.
Needs to go to the charity shop.
We've already filled up our bedroom.
‐ Do I have to have it in here?
Can't Ava have it in her room?
At least she's got a room.
I've only got an area.
‐ No, sure. Okay.
I'll just hoick it back up four flights
of stairs to Ava's room.
‐ Okay, it's fine. Leave it there.
Paul: It won't be for long.
Just need to make some space for other stuff.
‐ I wish I had a proper room.
‐ I know. One day, maybe.
‐ What is there in Broadstairs, Dad?
‐ Fuck all squared.
But apparently Granny and Grandad wanna live there.
And die there, I suppose.
‐ Oh.
♪ ♪
[siren wailing]
Alex: Eggs‐‐
in the fridge or out of the fridge?
I'm an outie. Leah: Me too.
That's why I still have a pantry.
‐ Hi, Mum. Leah: Hello, darling.
‐ Hi. ‐ Nice to see you again, Ally.
‐ Nice to see you too, Alex.
‐ This is an unexpected visit.
Everything all right down below?
‐ Mum!
‐ Ally's going through IVF.
‐ Oh. I'm sorry.
My youngest went through it. It's very tough.
‐ Yes, it is. Yeah.
‐ Why are you here?
I mean, it's lovely to see you, but‐‐
‐ We're having a clear‐out of old clothes and stuff,
and I found this hanging on the back of a door.
‐ Oh, look. My gorgeous Hobbs jacket.
‐ That's really lovely.
And that's a wonderful color for you.
‐ Would you like coffee‐‐ or lunch?
Alex is cooking.
‐ Oh, no, thanks. I better go.
We're going down to Broadstairs today with Jim and Jackie
'cause they're thinking of doing a council house swap.
So what are you cooking, Alex?
‐ Ham, egg, and chips.
It's not Heston, but it does the job.
‐ Alex makes the most incredible chips.
‐ You're eating chips?
‐ Of course. Why wouldn't I?
‐ Uh, the calories, the carbs, the fat.
They are solid food, Mum.
‐ Your mum doesn't need to worry
about that kind of nonsense.
I'll take the rest of the shopping in.
It was lovely to see you again, Ally.
‐ Yes. And to you, Alex.
You look beautiful, Mum.
‐ I suppose that's what falling in love does for you.
‐ Oh, wow. ‐ I know.
Sometimes I catch him smiling at me for no reason.
That's really nice, isn't it?
‐ Okay. Right.
I better get going.
‐ Are you all right, Ally?
Do you want to talk?
‐ I do, yeah, but, you know, not now.
It's just all these injections and shit.
Just feeling a bit all over the place.
But you go and have your chips.
I'll‐‐we'll catch up later, yeah?
[intriguing percussive music]
♪ ♪
Luke: What's so great about Broadstairs, Grandad?
‐ It's real.
Proper real people live here
doing proper real things,
speaking with proper real accents.
‐ Whereas everyone in London is just pretend.
‐ Yes, more or less. ‐ Right.
‐ Our area's gone to the dogs‐‐
the pedigree dogs.
Why are the middle classes so discontent?
Constantly changing stuff.
‐ There's builders down our road every day.
Why can't people just sit and enjoy what they have?
‐ Don't know. Jim: It's looking a lot smarter
round here than I remember.
Is that a deli there?
And a gallery.
Fuck my old boots.
‐ Thing is, if you two do your council house swap now...
‐ I know, it won't be good for you
for getting free childcare for the new baby.
Paul: No, no, not that‐‐ well, yeah, a bit that
but not that, no.
We want you to be near us
so that we can look after you
when you become, you know, decrepit.
‐ Yeah, but the sea air is gonna make us healthier.
It's what people our age need.
‐ Yeah. ‐ And no stairs.
‐ And that manuka honey that's good for arthritis.
Or is it eyesight?
‐ How long will they keep that poor baby of yours
in the test tube for, Ally?
‐ Mum, there's no baby yet.
‐ And they don't keep babies in test tubes.
‐ Mum's given hormones to make her produce lots of eggs.
Then they're put in with dad's sperm
in a sort of chamber.
‐ Right. Who wants an ice cream?
[mellow music]
♪ ♪
[gulls squawking]
‐ Bit weird, not having an upstairs.
‐ Right?
And where are you gonna hide the bodies
of the people you murder?
‐ Exactly.
‐ I like it, Jim.
This settee is lovely.
‐ Well, they won't leave the settee, Mum.
‐ You'll have to move too, won't you, Paul,
what with the new arrival?
‐ Nothing's arriving yet.
We're still on the checkout page.
‐ It's a death trap, your place,
especially for a baby.
‐ Well, Ava and Luke survived it,
so we'll all be fine.
‐ Where's it gonna sleep‐‐ the baby?
‐ In a cot when it exists,
which it doesn't yet.
‐ Lovely new combi‐boiler they've got here.
‐ Will they leave the boiler, Paul?
‐ [chuckles]
Oh, yeah. They'll leave the boiler.
[intriguing music]
♪ ♪
‐ That was properly great.
It was really, really good food.
‐ Eight chips.
I got eight chips with that fish and chips‐‐eight.
‐ That cod was the size of a sardine too.
‐ Hang on; you two always leave
half your fish and chips and say that it was too much.
‐ Well, you want the option to leave loads on your plate.
[sighs]
This used to be a very different place.
‐ Yeah. Jim: Formica tables.
Those ketchup things shaped like tomatoes.
Wipe‐clean menus they never wipe clean.
‐ That sounds horrible.
‐ Aye, it was.
But at least it wasn't poncey.
‐ Nice bit of fish be good for your bionic baby, Ally.
Paul: No, she's not pregnant yet, Mum.
She's being harvested tomorrow and then...
‐ Harvested? Paul: Mm‐hmm.
Jim: Jesus Christ.
‐ They say I've got super sperm.
Which is‐‐you know, it's...
‐ After I had you, Paul... ‐ Mm‐hmm?
‐ My body refused any more babies.
Flat‐out refused.
Jim: Yep, it just shut up shop,
like Woolworths. Paul: Right.
‐ According to my magazine, Ally,
you could have twins
if they put enough eggs back in you.
‐ I'm just gonna pop to the loo.
Paul: Ah.
You two, could you give it a rest, please?
She's hormonal. You're not helping.
‐ Sorry. ‐ Sorry.
‐ [groans]
‐ You were almost a twin, Paul.
‐ Yeah, what?
‐ You absorbed your brother
or sister in the womb.
‐ Absorbed?
‐ Vanishing twin.
More common than you'd think, apparently.
‐ No, it's not,
'cause babies don't absorb other babies.
‐ They do, you know.
‐ Well, you were young,
so you don't remember.
[surreal music]
♪ ♪
‐ It's a lovely kitchen.
‐ Crisp, clean lines.
It's been designed.
‐ Has it? Brilliant.
‐ It's bespoke. Sleek yet practical.
‐ Like a puma.
‐ Indeed. [laughs]
[cell phone buzzing]
Ah. I'm so sorry.
Do you mind if I just...
‐ Yeah, of course. ‐ It's fine.
‐ Why don't you guys carry on exploring?
Take your time.
‐ Thanks.
[emotional ambient music]
As you see, these stairs are designed.
‐ Oh, wow. But are they bespoke?
‐ They're the bespokiest stairs known to humankind.
‐ Oh. Bespoke like a motherfucker.
‐ So this is the...sex room.
‐ Really? Is it?
‐ Let's see the rest of the house first, though.
‐ Yeah. Oh.
[both laugh]
‐ So in there? ‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Sex room. [both laugh]
Here is another...
sex room, yeah,
if you ever feel the need for more.
‐ Very sensible. What about upstairs?
‐ Oh, that is a home office. ‐ Oh.
‐ I'm kidding. It's a sex room.
‐ Yeah? [laughs]
I love this place, Paul.
‐ Yeah.
Fuck it. Let's put in an offer.
‐ Really? ‐ Yeah.
‐ Oh, my God.
We're gonna have a house with stairs.
‐ Fucking tons of stairs!
‐ Ah!
[waves crashing]
Paul: That tide's really coming in.
[dog barking, gulls squawking]
‐ Dad, take my phone. ‐ What?
‐ I don't want it to get wet.
Paul: Okay.
He just gave me his phone. ‐ Yeah.
‐ By choice.
He surrendered his weapon.
My God.
You see what some fresh air can do?
[sighs, chuckles]
I suppose if they do get a place down here,
we can visit at the weekends.
Buy a beach hut, maybe.
‐ They cost thousands.
‐ All right, rent one, then,
or camp in Mum and Dad's garden.
‐ What, with a new baby?
‐ Well, people do all sorts with a new baby:
go to festivals,
shoplift.
[rock skipping]
‐ Whoo! Paul: Hey!
Nice one, mate!
You can be a kid again on the beach, can't you?
Oh, God.
We could get a dog.
‐ What, and leave it in the beach hut
for two weeks at a time until we come back down?
It would starve.
And we can't have a fucking dog at home, Paul.
Jesus Christ.
‐ No, I know. It's daft.
I just feel like, you know...
‐ Irritating.
‐ Infused, actually... ‐ All right.
‐ Is what I feel. ‐ Sorry.
‐ There is something about the air
and the space and the light.
It's‐‐it's different. It's hopeful.
‐ It is. Yeah.
It's really, really nice here. It is.
For a few hours.
When are we heading back?
[groovy music]
♪ ♪
‐ Sorry, could you say that again, please?
‐ It says, "Potent as a 25‐year‐old."
‐ Right, it says that on that piece of paper, does it?
‐ Yes.
‐ Can I have a copy of that or...
‐ At the moment, your sperm is being put
through a high‐speed wash and spin cycle
to find the healthiest ones.
‐ Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it?
‐ Yeah, it's pretty amazing, yeah.
‐ It will then be placed with Ally's best eggs.
And, Ally, we'll switch you to another medication
to prepare your uterus lining for the implant.
‐ Terrific. [chuckles awkwardly]
[light ambient music]
♪ ♪
[sighs] Ah.
Kee, ugh. Thank God.
I really need to just talk at you for two solid hours
about IVF and fucking Broadstairs
and have you nod your head and say, "Poor you."
So I've ordered you a martini and loads of chips.
‐ Oh, Ally, I'm so sorry,
but I've just come to say I can't do this.
Tony's just gone into hospital.
‐ Oh, my God.
Keeley: Oh, it's nothing too serious.
So I can stay for a really quick drink,
but then I do need to‐‐
‐ Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's fine.
You go. Go.
Your stepdad needs you.
Keeley: Yeah, but my best friend needs me too.
‐ Oh, it's fine. It'll wait.
‐ Is there a substitute friend you can get here instead of me
to drink martinis and nod at you?
‐ [sighs] No.
There's no replacement for you, Kee.
‐ Well, this is unexpected.
‐ Yeah, I just thought that we hadn't
spoken to each other for ages
apart from our boring old work.
‐ True. It's good to talk.
That was an advert, wasn't it, for phones?
Imagine a world where people
needed encouraging to use a phone.
‐ I know. Mad.
Darren: These are great chips.
Triple‐cooked, probably.
Triple's the least these days, isn't it?
Do you remember when people used to cook them once?
Idiots.
‐ [chuckles] Yeah.
Um, how are the girls?
Darren: Fine, in a‐‐yeah‐‐sense.
Mm.
‐ In what sort of sense?
‐ Well, you know, how you took your Luke
to be diagnosed, anxiety, et cetera?
Ally: Yeah. ‐ Well, I took the girls
because I was convinced they had ADHD.
But according to the psychologist,
they're just really badly behaved.
‐ Right. Darren: Mm.
‐ Yeah.
‐ [inhales deeply]
And Karen‐‐are you guys on speaking terms again?
‐ Not really.
She blames me for the girls' behavior
because they're twins and she didn't want twins
and I "made her go through IVF."
‐ Right.
Darren: It was a joint decision, obviously.
I'm not an assertive person,
but she doesn't remember it like that.
[sighs]
Anyway, enough, uh,
boring IVF tedium.
What do you fancy talking about?
‐ Uh...nothing specifically.
‐ Mm.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
Paul: [sighs]
‐ Yes, I did have some wine.
‐ [chuckles]
That's fine. I wasn't going to ask.
I don't wanna be drink Hitler.
Or any Hitler, really.
I've been researching while you were out.
‐ Researching what?
‐ Possibly moving out of London.
‐ Paul.
‐ It's just a thought experiment.
I know we've not discussed it. ‐ At all.
‐ But we need space, don't we?
‐ Yes.
‐ Luke needs a proper bedroom.
We need a garden, space for the new baby.
‐ There isn't a baby yet.
‐ And we can't afford anywhere bigger
in London, can we? ‐ No, but, like‐‐
‐ We could sell this place for a fortune?
Live an hour out of London in a mansion‐‐
I mean, all right, maybe not an hour for a mansion.
Maybe 90 minutes, but still.
I could buy a waxed jacket,
grow courgettes, and leave all the stress behind.
‐ Courgettes, f...
‐ Broadstairs was nice, Ally.
It was really nice.
The kids loved it.
‐ I didn't love it.
I love this house‐‐our house.
And I love London.
Paul: Luke skimmed a stone in the sea.
[laughs] You know?
He gave me his phone.
Ava wouldn't have to grow up so fast.
She wouldn't have to be street smart.
We could buy our dream home.
‐ This is my dream home.
♪ ♪
I don't wanna move, Paul.
I'm going to sleep.
♪ ♪
Paul: [sighs]
♪ ♪
Luke: Where's my bag?
Ava: There's your bag.
Luke: Here's my bag. ‐ Hi.
‐ Hey. ‐ Why didn't you wake me?
‐ I wanted you to rest before the procedure.
‐ Well, I'm taking Ava to tae kwon do, right?
‐ I can do it.
‐ No, it's fine. I will.
‐ It's no bother.
You should probably be taking it easy.
‐ It's fine. I will be fine.
I am just taking her to tae kwon do.
I'm not doing tae kwon do.
‐ No, I know. It's just, this pregnancy‐‐
potential pregnancy is special.
Like the other two, but it feels more fragile.
You sure you don't want me to come with you?
‐ Yeah. It's fine.
I think I will feel calmer on my own, less pressure.
‐ Okay.
Ally: Quick shower. ‐ All right.
‐ Can we get takeaway tonight?
‐ No, darling.
Mum needs proper nutritious food at the moment:
oily fish, nuts and seeds,
all that stuff‐‐chard.
‐ And a rogan josh.
‐ No, not bloody rogan josh.
[intriguing music]
♪ ♪
At this very moment,
Ally's embryos and my sperm
are being placed in her uterus.
‐ Paul, shut up.
‐ Sorry.
‐ [inhales sharply]
‐ Oh, we decided against the bungalow at Broadstairs.
‐ Oh, okay.
‐ Turns out, it's just as poncey down there as here.
I didn't realize.
So we're staying put.
Better the ponces you know.
‐ Actually, we're thinking of moving.
Maybe by the sea.
Not Broadstairs necessarily,
but, uh, Brighton
or somewhere further out‐‐ Norfolk.
‐ Norfolk?
That's in fucking Norfolk.
I thought you wanted to be near your mum and me.
Is this what Ally wants?
‐ Well, no. [laughs]
It's not. And I understand.
I'm not convinced about moving out of town myself.
But we need a bigger place.
And there's no harm in looking.
And maybe Ally might feel the need
for a new nest once her uterus‐‐
‐ Paul, shut up.
[both grunting, groaning]
‐ Did you know it was a master class tonight?
‐ No.
I'd have given it a miss if I'd known.
‐ [grunts]
‐ I pay to knacker my kids out,
not to sit around watching.
I mean, what even is this?
George: Oh, it's um,
Brazilian jujitsu... ‐ Mm.
‐ With an emphasis on grappling
and ground fighting, apparently.
‐ Mm. ‐ [laughs]
‐ It is very intense, isn't it?
[both chuckle]
‐ Um, yeah.
Maybe you wanna take a break from the male display
of rutting, and, um...
‐ [gasps] Oh.
I have never needed one more.
‐ Yes. Shall we?
‐ Get out there. Go on.
[both grunting]
[groovy music]
♪ ♪
‐ Hmm? ‐ Oh.
Just a sec. Nature calls.
‐ Oh. ‐ I'm sorry, Paul.
‐ Mum, come on. ‐ Sorry.
‐ You only live round the corner.
‐ Ugh, she's hopeless.
Actually, while there's the opportunity,
I might as well.
‐ Yeah.
[cell phone buzzing]
Hello.
Speaking.
[suspenseful music]
Right.
Oh.
No. No, I didn't know that.
Uh‐huh.
Well, I'm‐‐I'm sorry.
Is‐‐is there‐‐
I mean, can we rearrange?
No. Of course not.
All right. No, I understand.
Thanks very much.
Fuck me.
‐ Mm.
So you don't wanna move house?
‐ No, I don't want any of it.
It's like I'm on this runaway train
and I keep pressing the emergency button
and shouting but nothing is happening.
I just‐‐I don't feel in control.
‐ I'm not sure any of us ever properly feel we're in control.
‐ No one's listening to me. That's the problem.
No one is listening to me.
‐ I am.
‐ Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
‐ No, it's fine. ‐ No, I'm s‐‐
I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry.
I'm so‐‐
[sighs] Fuck.
‐ How fucking great is this?
‐ Fucking great.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ [exhales sharply] This house, you...
let's never change. ‐ Agreed.
‐ This could be our outside sex room.
‐ Mm! ‐ Yeah, we could have sex
out here and no one would ever see.
‐ Except for God. God would see.
‐ He's seen it before. [both chuckle]
Let us never leave here.
‐ Except for wine and cigarettes.
‐ [chuckles]
‐ Fuck, I love you.
‐ I love you.
[giggling]
[giggling echoes]
[door clicks open]
[door slams]
‐ Oh.
I've gotten Indian.
The clinic phoned.
You didn't show up for your procedure today.
‐ No.
‐ Ally...
why have we been through all this
if you were just gonna not turn up?
Fuck me. Have you changed your mind?
We should have probably talked about it.
‐ I kissed a man.
‐ Who?
Kissed who?
‐ I...
I just‐‐I want it all to stop, Paul,
all of it: the baby,
the fucking moving house bullshit.
I just‐‐I don't‐‐ I don't‐‐I can't do it.
I don't want to do it.
And you're not listening to me.
You are‐‐you just‐‐
you seem to want it all
a lot more than me.
And I, uh‐‐I just‐‐I didn't know how to make it stop,
so I‐‐I‐‐
I kissed somebody.
‐ I said who, not why.
‐ It doesn't matter who it was.
‐ Course it fucking matters.
‐ I love you.
‐ Do you? Right.
Right, 'cause most people in love,
they don't kiss another man
to‐‐to...what,
make a point?
‐ I am sorry.
‐ For what?
Ally, for what?
For not wanting another baby or for kissing another man?
‐ For both. ‐ Why didn't you tell me
that this is how you felt?
‐ I tried, but you wouldn't listen.
You were not listening to me.
‐ Right, okay. Well, fuck me.
You have certainly got my attention now.
‐ [sighs] Fuck.
[footsteps departing]
[sighs]
[intriguing music]
[door clicks open]
[door slams]
♪ ♪
‐ Can I smell rogan josh?
‐ You sure can.
Coming right up.
[sniffles]