1
00:00:03,494 --> 00:00:05,656
- He's been off his food for days.
- Hmm.
2
00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:09,408
This cage stinks. Is that shit or death?
3
00:00:11,048 --> 00:00:12,048
Poke him.
4
00:00:12,073 --> 00:00:14,320
- You poke him!
- Mm...
5
00:00:18,357 --> 00:00:20,406
- Oh.
- Ugh.
6
00:00:21,173 --> 00:00:22,312
We could try CPR.
7
00:00:22,337 --> 00:00:23,813
Apparently,
you do it to "Staying Alive."
8
00:00:23,837 --> 00:00:27,826
It's like... ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah,
staying alive, staying alive ♪
9
00:00:27,851 --> 00:00:29,521
With a tiny gerbil-sized heart?
10
00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:31,094
Don't think so,
it's gotta be something quicker
11
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,592
like the "Benny Hill" theme.
12
00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:34,734
No... he's gone.
13
00:00:34,759 --> 00:00:36,703
I'm calling it. Sprout's dead.
14
00:00:36,728 --> 00:00:38,427
Oh, shit.
15
00:00:38,697 --> 00:00:40,685
How are you gonna tell the kids?
16
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:42,097
- Me?
- Yeah.
17
00:00:43,340 --> 00:00:44,577
Oh.
18
00:00:44,602 --> 00:00:46,936
I told you to take the key!
19
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:48,937
Okay, kids deposited
20
00:00:48,962 --> 00:00:51,517
at the indoctrination center,
breakfast bought.
21
00:00:51,542 --> 00:00:53,654
I'm making myself
indispensable, aren't I?
22
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,211
- No.
- Okay.
23
00:00:58,121 --> 00:01:00,760
Artisan sourdough,
only they have no idea
24
00:01:00,785 --> 00:01:02,998
how to make real sourdough.
25
00:01:03,023 --> 00:01:05,717
Terrible coffee they
think is great coffee,
26
00:01:05,742 --> 00:01:07,701
and what they call Danish pastries,
27
00:01:07,726 --> 00:01:10,297
which have zero to do with
actual Danish pastries.
28
00:01:10,322 --> 00:01:14,000
- Yummy.
- All this for only £15,000!
29
00:01:14,025 --> 00:01:16,565
Uh, Ally, I'm gonna stick
Sprout in the freezer
30
00:01:16,590 --> 00:01:18,078
till we decide what to do with him.
31
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:19,672
The gerbil's dead, Michael.
32
00:01:19,697 --> 00:01:21,594
That would also be my diagnosis.
33
00:01:21,619 --> 00:01:23,924
You should replace him
before Luke and Ava get home.
34
00:01:23,949 --> 00:01:25,338
No way! They need to learn
35
00:01:25,363 --> 00:01:27,580
about life and death
and saying good-bye.
36
00:01:27,605 --> 00:01:29,408
It's what we did with Frank.
37
00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:30,830
Ally's fish.
38
00:01:30,855 --> 00:01:33,339
There must have been
at least five Franks.
39
00:01:33,364 --> 00:01:35,838
He was a different size every time.
40
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,675
Any luck with finding a place
to live, Michael?
41
00:01:37,699 --> 00:01:39,645
Oh, yeah, loads of leads.
42
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:44,916
Just a ton of possibilities
bubbling away, really.
43
00:01:46,447 --> 00:01:48,697
- He's never gonna leave, is he?
- Christ, no.
44
00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:55,457
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
45
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:56,999
Can I go home now?
46
00:01:57,646 --> 00:01:59,680
The doctors and nurses need to check
47
00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:01,733
a few things first, but you're so...
48
00:02:01,758 --> 00:02:03,836
Hey, you two. Hey, kids.
49
00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:06,117
- Don't turn the telly off, Paul.
- Paul?
50
00:02:06,142 --> 00:02:08,031
Daddy's got something to tell you.
51
00:02:08,281 --> 00:02:09,348
Right.
52
00:02:09,373 --> 00:02:11,882
Uh, listen, s-sometimes...
53
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:16,680
When you get very old or very ill,
54
00:02:16,705 --> 00:02:19,047
your body just sort of...
55
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,739
shuts down, you know, like a...
56
00:02:22,019 --> 00:02:23,430
- A computer.
- Hmm.
57
00:02:23,455 --> 00:02:25,172
No, more final.
58
00:02:25,197 --> 00:02:28,188
- Uh, like a coal mine.
- Thank you.
59
00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:32,414
Sprout... died,
60
00:02:32,439 --> 00:02:33,985
I'm afraid.
61
00:02:34,273 --> 00:02:35,773
He's dead.
62
00:02:39,321 --> 00:02:40,321
Oh.
63
00:02:41,135 --> 00:02:42,774
No, it's okay.
64
00:02:42,799 --> 00:02:46,318
Sprout's gone, but he's part
of the universe now.
65
00:02:46,858 --> 00:02:51,097
But Mrs. Fisher says
the universe is huge.
66
00:02:51,122 --> 00:02:52,807
How will we find him?
67
00:02:52,832 --> 00:02:56,990
Oh, look, mate,
if the old gerbils don't die,
68
00:02:57,015 --> 00:02:59,558
then the new ones can't come
through, can they?
69
00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:00,810
It's like the circle of life.
70
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:01,982
You've seen "The Lion King."
71
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,996
But Sprout was only two.
72
00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:06,161
I know, but that's, like, Grandpa's age,
73
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,833
- isn't it, in gerbil years.
- Yes!
74
00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:09,950
Kids. Sprout's not really dead.
75
00:03:09,975 --> 00:03:12,021
- That's not helpful.
- He sort of is dead.
76
00:03:12,046 --> 00:03:15,281
Luke, can you see Sprout in your mind?
77
00:03:16,584 --> 00:03:19,178
- I think I can.
- Yeah.
78
00:03:19,203 --> 00:03:21,888
Ava, can you hear him drinking
from his little water bottle?
79
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,875
- Yes.
- Do you love Sprout?
80
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,363
Will you remember him forever?
81
00:03:28,388 --> 00:03:30,410
- Yeah.
- Then he's not dead.
82
00:03:30,435 --> 00:03:33,208
He just lives inside you now,
that's all.
83
00:03:33,316 --> 00:03:35,122
Is that true, Paul?
84
00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,497
Uh, yeah, in a... in a way.
85
00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:39,147
This is because you call
your dad Michael, you know,
86
00:03:39,171 --> 00:03:40,279
all this Paul bollocks.
87
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:42,325
I just have to run out
for about half an hour.
88
00:03:42,350 --> 00:03:44,083
- Take a key.
- Yeah.
89
00:03:44,546 --> 00:03:47,647
- You okay?
- Mm...
90
00:03:47,996 --> 00:03:50,552
Well, that's not really teaching
them about death, is it?
91
00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:52,404
Telling them the
gerbil's not really dead?
92
00:03:52,429 --> 00:03:54,029
They seem fine.
93
00:03:54,054 --> 00:03:55,853
I guess that's what religion is, right?
94
00:03:55,878 --> 00:03:57,545
Heaven and that shit?
95
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,203
I'm sort of glad Sprout's dead.
96
00:03:59,228 --> 00:04:01,153
Oh, fuck me, yeah. The smell.
97
00:04:01,178 --> 00:04:02,819
Having to have him looked
after when we went away.
98
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,435
And gerbils don't give affection.
99
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:06,005
They're just little
eating and shitting tubes.
100
00:04:06,029 --> 00:04:08,654
- We mustn't get another one.
- Hell, no.
101
00:04:16,902 --> 00:04:19,738
Hey, Sprout 2.0,
you're gonna be a surprise
102
00:04:19,763 --> 00:04:21,490
for a couple of really nice kids.
103
00:04:26,179 --> 00:04:27,645
Oh, shit!
104
00:04:28,013 --> 00:04:29,425
I didn't see him, right?
105
00:04:30,284 --> 00:04:31,637
He just stepped out. I didn't see him.
106
00:04:31,661 --> 00:04:33,949
Get your phone out.
Get your phone out quickly.
107
00:04:39,226 --> 00:04:42,277
Um, can you... can you hear me?
108
00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:44,144
Can you hear me?
109
00:04:47,515 --> 00:04:49,924
♪ Whether you're a brother
or whether you're a mother ♪
110
00:04:49,949 --> 00:04:52,094
♪ Staying alive, staying alive ♪
111
00:04:52,119 --> 00:04:56,988
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha,
staying alive, staying alive ♪
112
00:04:57,614 --> 00:05:00,081
Telly off! Dinner's on the table!
113
00:05:00,106 --> 00:05:02,448
Okay, coming!
114
00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:08,191
I told you to take a key,
you mad old wanker!
115
00:05:08,946 --> 00:05:10,045
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
116
00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:11,683
I thought you were someone else.
117
00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:14,025
Does a Mr. Michael Grant live here?
118
00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:15,480
What has he done?
119
00:05:15,505 --> 00:05:17,472
Is it all right if I come in?
120
00:05:18,042 --> 00:05:19,472
Yeah.
121
00:05:22,807 --> 00:05:25,574
He doesn't, like, actually,
like, really live here.
122
00:05:25,599 --> 00:05:28,308
He's just staying here temporarily.
123
00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:31,580
Is Mr. Grant a relative, a friend?
124
00:05:31,605 --> 00:05:34,221
He's my father, my dad, but I don't...
125
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,448
I don't call him Dad.
I call him Michael.
126
00:05:36,473 --> 00:05:37,988
He's dead, isn't he?
127
00:05:38,131 --> 00:05:40,581
I'm sorry, yes.
128
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:43,152
Mr. Grant was involved in a collision.
129
00:05:46,874 --> 00:05:48,433
I'm so sorry.
130
00:05:48,902 --> 00:05:50,062
Are you...
131
00:05:50,087 --> 00:05:52,064
Are you absolutely sure that he's dead?
132
00:05:52,089 --> 00:05:54,556
Because he was alive, like, an hour ago.
133
00:05:54,581 --> 00:05:56,869
Efforts were made to revive him,
134
00:05:56,894 --> 00:05:59,197
but unfortunately,
he was pronounced dead
135
00:05:59,222 --> 00:06:00,949
at the scene of the accident.
136
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:04,743
- Where was he?
- On Church Street.
137
00:06:04,768 --> 00:06:06,501
We believe he'd just made a purchase
138
00:06:06,526 --> 00:06:10,361
from the Alpha Pet Store, a gerbil.
139
00:06:10,386 --> 00:06:12,107
Ha!
140
00:06:15,264 --> 00:06:16,964
Is it safe?
141
00:06:17,409 --> 00:06:19,308
We don't have it.
142
00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:22,541
Is there someone I can call,
a friend maybe?
143
00:06:22,566 --> 00:06:23,997
Do you have people out looking for him,
144
00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:25,287
for the... for the gerbil?
145
00:06:25,312 --> 00:06:27,333
Because they can't survive in the wild
146
00:06:27,358 --> 00:06:28,433
like foxes and stuff.
147
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,119
Perhaps you have a
partner I can contact?
148
00:06:30,144 --> 00:06:31,681
No, I... Oh, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
149
00:06:31,706 --> 00:06:33,629
My boyfriend is gonna be back soon.
150
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,435
He's just gone out to get some booze,
151
00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:37,511
because we've had a bit
of a day of deaths, actually.
152
00:06:37,535 --> 00:06:39,128
- Oh, I'm very sorry.
- No.
153
00:06:39,153 --> 00:06:41,839
Um, do you want some pasta?
I've made some pasta.
154
00:06:41,864 --> 00:06:44,924
It's vegan, but... oh, shit, no.
155
00:06:44,949 --> 00:06:47,976
I put cheese... I put cheese in it.
156
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,556
Hey, remember what
we talked about before,
157
00:07:01,581 --> 00:07:03,971
when Sprout passed on?
158
00:07:03,996 --> 00:07:06,488
And eventually, you were very brave.
159
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:10,150
Well... this afternoon,
160
00:07:10,175 --> 00:07:12,855
Granddad Michael,
you know, Mummy's daddy,
161
00:07:13,404 --> 00:07:15,144
he left us.
162
00:07:17,193 --> 00:07:18,792
He died.
163
00:07:19,528 --> 00:07:20,994
He's dead.
164
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,611
Which is obviously very sad.
165
00:07:31,222 --> 00:07:32,806
Have you got any questions?
166
00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:34,636
No, Paul, I haven't.
167
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,260
Do you understand what I'm saying?
168
00:07:37,285 --> 00:07:39,574
- Yes, Paul.
- But you're not sad?
169
00:07:39,599 --> 00:07:42,675
No, because Michael said
when people die,
170
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,112
they live inside of you.
171
00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:46,024
- Mm-hmm.
- So he's not really dead.
172
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,649
He is, though.
173
00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:54,456
What about if I died?
174
00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:57,051
I think you would live inside us too.
175
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,135
Well, that's probably quite a nice way
176
00:07:59,159 --> 00:08:00,817
of looking at it, actually.
177
00:08:00,842 --> 00:08:03,067
Can you stop me and Ava from dying?
178
00:08:03,092 --> 00:08:04,830
Oh, mate.
179
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:07,833
I would do everything humanly possible
180
00:08:07,858 --> 00:08:10,151
to keep you and Ava safe,
you know I would.
181
00:08:10,176 --> 00:08:14,262
But, truth is, eventually, everyone...
182
00:08:17,614 --> 00:08:19,901
Hey, hey, hey,
there's no need to be sad.
183
00:08:19,926 --> 00:08:22,292
Listen, listen, mate,
that's not gonna happen
184
00:08:22,317 --> 00:08:25,137
for a long, long, long time.
185
00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:31,551
Hey, haven't you...
You must have known that.
186
00:08:31,992 --> 00:08:35,745
Luke, oh, Christ. I'm sorry, I didn't...
187
00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:38,230
Oh, right... excuse me, darling.
188
00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:39,590
Hey.
189
00:08:40,403 --> 00:08:41,715
Um, I'm just gonna call Mum.
190
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:43,207
- Is everything okay?
- Uh, yeah, no...
191
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,837
Luke's just upset about your dad.
192
00:08:44,862 --> 00:08:45,927
Aww.
193
00:08:45,952 --> 00:08:47,097
It seems he was really important
194
00:08:47,121 --> 00:08:49,026
to both of them, but I've got this.
195
00:08:49,051 --> 00:08:50,745
Don't worry. You go and call Leah.
196
00:08:50,770 --> 00:08:53,335
- Oh, thank you, darling.
- All right.
197
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,668
All right.
198
00:09:05,351 --> 00:09:08,049
Whoo, well, don't you two look fancy?
199
00:09:08,074 --> 00:09:10,253
We found them in
Grandpa Michael's suitcase.
200
00:09:10,278 --> 00:09:13,409
I found a scarf,
and Ava found a bracelet.
201
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:14,967
- Look.
- Take that off.
202
00:09:14,992 --> 00:09:16,918
- No.
- Just let her wear it, Mum.
203
00:09:16,943 --> 00:09:18,778
She can't, it's a cock ring.
204
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,383
Oh, my God. Come here.
205
00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:23,242
- No, I want to keep it!
- I gave it to your father.
206
00:09:23,267 --> 00:09:26,001
I can't believe he
kept it all these years.
207
00:09:26,026 --> 00:09:27,990
It's quite touching, actually.
208
00:09:28,231 --> 00:09:30,760
Ava's wearing Dad's
cock ring as a bracelet.
209
00:09:30,785 --> 00:09:32,395
- Well, there's a thing.
- Mm.
210
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:34,186
I wasn't expecting
to feel this emotional
211
00:09:34,211 --> 00:09:36,129
about the big shit's death.
212
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,801
- Paul's going to identify his body.
- Mm-hmm.
213
00:09:38,826 --> 00:09:40,846
Well, I think I should, as his widow.
214
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,417
- Widow?
- We never divorced.
215
00:09:42,442 --> 00:09:44,941
So technically,
I am still Mrs. Big Shit.
216
00:09:44,966 --> 00:09:47,418
Actually, sorry, can you stop
calling him that, please?
217
00:09:47,443 --> 00:09:49,645
No. He was a big shit in life,
218
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,103
and he's a big shit in death.
219
00:09:51,128 --> 00:09:52,772
Well, I think Michael
should be identified
220
00:09:52,797 --> 00:09:54,637
by someone who doesn't
think he was a big shit.
221
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,152
Good luck finding that person.
222
00:09:56,177 --> 00:09:58,028
Actually, Leah, that person is me.
223
00:09:58,189 --> 00:10:00,556
'Cause even though he may
have had shitty qualities,
224
00:10:00,581 --> 00:10:02,481
he wasn't as much of a twat
225
00:10:02,506 --> 00:10:04,373
as, admittedly, he first appeared to be,
226
00:10:04,398 --> 00:10:06,629
and the kids liked him, so, Leah,
227
00:10:06,654 --> 00:10:10,262
I'd like you to stop referring
to Ally's father as a big shit.
228
00:10:12,285 --> 00:10:14,676
Fine. Sorry, Paul.
229
00:10:14,877 --> 00:10:17,422
Well, it's not me
you need to apologize to.
230
00:10:19,199 --> 00:10:21,742
Sorry, Michael.
231
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,846
No, no, your daughter.
232
00:10:23,871 --> 00:10:25,649
Apologize to Ally.
233
00:10:27,432 --> 00:10:29,032
Sorry, Ally.
234
00:10:31,457 --> 00:10:32,790
Okay.
235
00:10:33,071 --> 00:10:34,555
I'll see you soon.
236
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:41,931
Hey, thank you for saying that to Mum.
237
00:10:41,956 --> 00:10:43,196
It's all right.
238
00:10:43,681 --> 00:10:46,594
Hurry back, because
I'm strangely very, very horny.
239
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:48,663
Mm.
240
00:10:58,629 --> 00:11:00,039
Blimey.
241
00:11:00,582 --> 00:11:02,508
Oh, glad to catch you, Paul.
242
00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,333
I'm objecting to the
sheltered housing scheme,
243
00:11:04,358 --> 00:11:06,212
and I wondered if you'd
like to object separately.
244
00:11:06,236 --> 00:11:07,665
Can't talk now, Carl,
sorry, I'm just off
245
00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:10,764
to identify my father-in-law's
dead body.
246
00:11:10,789 --> 00:11:13,446
Oh, God, no. I'm so sorry, I...
247
00:11:13,471 --> 00:11:15,258
Don't look at that.
248
00:11:16,151 --> 00:11:18,836
- Grief can be a strange beast.
- Yes.
249
00:11:21,299 --> 00:11:23,032
I'm gonna...
250
00:11:28,547 --> 00:11:30,069
Come on. You can't do this to me.
251
00:11:30,094 --> 00:11:31,695
I don't even know
what your dad looks like.
252
00:11:31,719 --> 00:11:33,233
I'm really sorry. I can't leave.
253
00:11:33,258 --> 00:11:35,751
I'm trying to make a good
impression on Darren.
254
00:11:35,776 --> 00:11:36,892
Hang on, I'm supposed to be making
255
00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:38,481
a good impression on your dad.
256
00:11:38,506 --> 00:11:40,856
Look, it was your idea to meet him,
it'll be fine.
257
00:11:40,881 --> 00:11:42,359
You'll probably get
on like a house on fire.
258
00:11:42,383 --> 00:11:43,854
Okay, fine, fine.
259
00:11:43,879 --> 00:11:45,661
You'll hear about it later, I guess.
260
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:47,971
- Love you.
- Yeah, love you, bye.
261
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,557
Fuck's sake.
262
00:12:04,198 --> 00:12:05,581
Uh, looks like she's not gonna make it,
263
00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:07,096
so do you want to put a pin in this
264
00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:09,376
until we can actually
get together with Ally?
265
00:12:09,401 --> 00:12:11,048
Yeah, yeah. Well...
266
00:12:11,073 --> 00:12:12,985
been very pleasant almost meeting you.
267
00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:16,073
- Yeah, you too, Michael.
- Yeah, oh, uh...
268
00:12:16,098 --> 00:12:17,631
I've got this, it's fine.
269
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,530
Yeah, I think I'll head out to somewhere
270
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:22,264
- a little more Turkish.
- Ah.
271
00:12:22,289 --> 00:12:23,502
You're welcome to join me, Liam.
272
00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:25,229
It's Paul, and you're good, thanks.
273
00:12:25,254 --> 00:12:28,047
Oh, sorry, Christ.
274
00:12:28,072 --> 00:12:30,862
You know, Liam was
this dull-witted knuckle-dick.
275
00:12:30,887 --> 00:12:32,187
I hated him.
276
00:12:32,212 --> 00:12:33,816
You know,
I have got time for a quick one.
277
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,760
- Do you? Good.
- Yeah.
278
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:40,995
Ooh.
279
00:12:53,341 --> 00:12:54,846
Mm.
280
00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:02,698
I just want you to know
that I'll look after Ally.
281
00:13:03,664 --> 00:13:05,657
Probably better than you ever did.
282
00:13:05,682 --> 00:13:08,916
Sorry, that was below the belt,
in the circumstances.
283
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:13,752
Anyway, just, uh... yeah.
284
00:13:15,115 --> 00:13:18,229
I want to thank you for having
such an amazing daughter.
285
00:13:21,382 --> 00:13:23,482
You have a rest, mate.
286
00:13:28,322 --> 00:13:30,916
Mm... just...
287
00:13:41,473 --> 00:13:42,812
Hello.
288
00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:45,065
Hi. Was it awful?
289
00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:48,218
The policewoman said
it takes strength, but...
290
00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:49,642
Aww.
291
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:53,122
It happened again.
292
00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:56,348
I laughed when I told my
cousins about Michael being...
293
00:13:56,774 --> 00:13:58,127
- Dead?
- Ha!
294
00:13:58,152 --> 00:14:00,944
Oh, my God. Am I going mad?
295
00:14:00,969 --> 00:14:02,798
No, it's a bereavement thing.
296
00:14:02,823 --> 00:14:05,203
It's paradoxical laughter.
297
00:14:05,770 --> 00:14:09,705
Thank you for being
so brave and so strong
298
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:12,007
and so sexy.
299
00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:13,477
Come here.
300
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,789
Wait, we can have
that Bolognese tomorrow.
301
00:14:26,814 --> 00:14:29,446
- No, no, I'll make another one.
- No, we're out of garlic.
302
00:14:29,471 --> 00:14:31,594
I'll use the granules.
I prefer them anyway.
303
00:14:36,196 --> 00:14:38,460
- No, this is wrong.
- No, this isn't wrong.
304
00:14:38,485 --> 00:14:40,163
This is all kinds of right.
305
00:14:40,188 --> 00:14:42,895
Come with me tonight on
the train to Ipswich.
306
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,313
Yes!
307
00:14:48,802 --> 00:14:52,444
She's here, thank God.
I am so, so sorry.
308
00:14:52,469 --> 00:14:53,469
Oh, no, it's fine.
309
00:14:53,494 --> 00:14:55,422
- No, it's fine, it's fine.
- You didn't have to come in, really.
310
00:14:55,446 --> 00:14:57,999
You stay away as long as you need to.
311
00:14:58,024 --> 00:15:00,222
I mean, it's chaos without you.
312
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:03,241
I'm joking, we can cope. Sort of.
313
00:15:03,266 --> 00:15:06,116
You go home, take all the time you need,
314
00:15:06,141 --> 00:15:07,421
but before you do, could you see
315
00:15:07,446 --> 00:15:09,392
if you can mix the strings
high enough to make the moan
316
00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:11,606
- less powerfully erotic?
- Sure.
317
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:14,547
Yes!
318
00:15:16,466 --> 00:15:18,233
You're bloody incredible.
319
00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:19,566
I haven't even done anything yet.
320
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:21,407
I'm talking about your dad passing.
321
00:15:21,757 --> 00:15:23,457
Stupid word.
322
00:15:23,482 --> 00:15:24,858
Dying.
323
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:27,522
When Ma died, I was a soggy mess.
324
00:15:27,547 --> 00:15:29,570
Went to a grief specialist.
I can give you her number.
325
00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:33,055
She's this fantastic,
full-bodied older lady.
326
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,921
She held me in her fleshy arms
327
00:15:34,946 --> 00:15:39,196
and rocked me like a baby
for 45 incredible minutes.
328
00:15:39,221 --> 00:15:40,422
- Wrong.
- Yeah, I'm not sure
329
00:15:40,447 --> 00:15:41,730
that's quite my thing.
330
00:15:41,755 --> 00:15:43,395
- Ipswich.
- Oh, no, no, it wasn't sexual.
331
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:46,258
- No, brilliant.
- Don't contain the grief.
332
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:48,694
Let it bleed through your pores.
333
00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:51,539
- Darren, I'm just trying to...
- Purge yourself of it.
334
00:15:52,099 --> 00:15:53,514
- Flush it through...
- Darren!
335
00:15:53,539 --> 00:15:54,801
Darren, I'm fine. It's all fine.
336
00:15:54,825 --> 00:15:55,991
I barely knew Michael.
337
00:15:56,016 --> 00:15:57,361
I mean, you know, I'm sad he's dead,
338
00:15:57,385 --> 00:15:59,663
but there are more
important things to me.
339
00:15:59,688 --> 00:16:02,040
Kids. Paul. My job.
340
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,220
I hear you, yeah, and Dolby 5.1.
341
00:16:05,245 --> 00:16:07,235
I'm not sure you do, but thanks.
342
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:09,325
I admire and respect your strength
343
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:13,585
and positive agency so, so much.
344
00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:14,786
Cool.
345
00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:17,800
Come with me tonight on
the train to Ipswich.
346
00:16:21,258 --> 00:16:22,427
Yes!
347
00:16:29,931 --> 00:16:32,619
Literally everything you're
doing is turning me on.
348
00:16:33,361 --> 00:16:36,453
I've never had sex like that before,
not even in our sex heyday.
349
00:16:36,478 --> 00:16:39,181
Last night, it was... It was dirty.
350
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:40,977
Was it okay to...
351
00:16:41,002 --> 00:16:44,415
I mean, even all right
to do what we did?
352
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,884
- It seemed a bit modern.
- It was great sex, Paul.
353
00:16:46,909 --> 00:16:48,686
It was better than cocaine sex.
354
00:16:48,711 --> 00:16:50,089
Well, we've never had cocaine sex.
355
00:16:50,113 --> 00:16:52,205
- No, but...
- Have you had cocaine sex?
356
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:56,361
Just a little bit,
but that was the best.
357
00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:58,283
- Right.
- Hey, talk admin to me.
358
00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:00,541
Tell me how organized you are.
359
00:17:02,224 --> 00:17:05,510
Go on! Do it. It'll work.
360
00:17:05,535 --> 00:17:08,502
Okay, uh, I had to play hardball
361
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,955
- with Michael's solicitor.
- Mm.
362
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:13,377
- Because his will states...
- Mm-hmm.
363
00:17:13,402 --> 00:17:17,982
That his corpse should be...
Not corpse, not corpse,
364
00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:22,531
his body should go, sorry,
to medical science.
365
00:17:22,556 --> 00:17:26,881
And there's to be no funeral,
so this... fucking hell.
366
00:17:26,906 --> 00:17:31,701
- You can do it.
- To be no, um... poems.
367
00:17:31,726 --> 00:17:33,037
Okay.
368
00:17:33,062 --> 00:17:34,615
No songs. No people dressed in black.
369
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,701
I'm going to kiss you now.
370
00:17:49,327 --> 00:17:52,294
Are you sure I'm not taking
advantage of your grief?
371
00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:54,573
- Oh, I'm not grieving. Get busy.
- Uh-huh.
372
00:17:56,683 --> 00:17:58,268
Paul.
373
00:17:58,293 --> 00:17:59,891
Oh, Paul.
374
00:17:59,916 --> 00:18:01,354
Paul!
375
00:18:02,196 --> 00:18:03,196
Paul?
376
00:18:03,221 --> 00:18:05,737
Christ, I wish he still called me Dad.
377
00:18:09,347 --> 00:18:11,720
What's grief sex when it's at home?
378
00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:13,189
I've never heard of it.
379
00:18:13,214 --> 00:18:15,314
Yeah, but you'd never
heard of soya milk.
380
00:18:15,339 --> 00:18:17,009
If grief sex was a thing,
381
00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:19,451
every funeral would be a gangbang,
382
00:18:19,476 --> 00:18:21,477
and I've been to a
lot of funerals lately,
383
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:24,666
and let me tell you,
that's simply not the case.
384
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:27,303
Is Ally okay with all this?
385
00:18:27,328 --> 00:18:28,743
Oh, yeah, she started it,
386
00:18:28,768 --> 00:18:30,993
and it's the best sex
we've had for years,
387
00:18:31,018 --> 00:18:34,800
but it feels wrong somehow,
exploitative of both of us.
388
00:18:34,902 --> 00:18:37,469
Bereavement's a mad fucking ride, Paul.
389
00:18:37,494 --> 00:18:39,538
It's tough to stay sane.
390
00:18:39,854 --> 00:18:42,524
Promise me you won't have
grief sex when I die.
391
00:18:42,549 --> 00:18:44,743
Why not? I mean, I won't, but why not?
392
00:18:44,768 --> 00:18:47,477
I don't want you two going at
it like shipwrecked sailors
393
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,615
while I'm barely cold in the ground.
394
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:53,673
In fact, can you abstain,
out of respect,
395
00:18:53,698 --> 00:18:55,053
for, say, a month?
396
00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:56,812
My dying wish.
397
00:18:56,991 --> 00:18:58,901
Shouldn't your dying wish be
398
00:18:58,926 --> 00:19:00,979
me looking after Mum or something?
399
00:19:01,004 --> 00:19:02,854
No, she'll go first.
400
00:19:02,879 --> 00:19:04,409
High cholesterol.
401
00:19:07,101 --> 00:19:09,432
- I know you.
- You don't know me.
402
00:19:09,457 --> 00:19:11,330
I know you're not like me.
403
00:19:11,487 --> 00:19:13,749
If I'd been in your situation tonight,
404
00:19:13,774 --> 00:19:16,251
I would have run away
immediately, thought,
405
00:19:16,276 --> 00:19:19,455
"I don't need this
meet-the-patriarch shit."
406
00:19:19,647 --> 00:19:22,475
- Ooh, the poison fairy has come.
- Thank you.
407
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,726
- Cheers.
- It's only gonna go to waste.
408
00:19:24,842 --> 00:19:26,461
Fucking hell.
409
00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:29,906
Notes of corduroy, very nice.
410
00:19:29,931 --> 00:19:30,931
Ooh!
411
00:19:32,883 --> 00:19:36,061
Um, you want to dine and dash?
412
00:19:38,976 --> 00:19:41,210
- We do a runner?
- Yeah.
413
00:19:41,235 --> 00:19:42,515
I'm not doing a fucking runner!
414
00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:44,947
Aww! Oh, you're one of those, oh.
415
00:19:44,972 --> 00:19:46,693
- Oh, Jesus, really?
- Come on.
416
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,492
I know you got a spine in there.
417
00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:50,052
Just bring it on out.
418
00:19:50,077 --> 00:19:52,177
There's a whole world out
there waiting for you.
419
00:19:52,202 --> 00:19:53,500
Plunge through it, come on.
420
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,891
Listen, if you're daring me
to do it, then I'll do it.
421
00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:57,764
All right, I'm daring you to do it.
422
00:19:57,789 --> 00:19:59,375
You want me to do a runner?
423
00:19:59,669 --> 00:20:01,897
Done. Fucking done.
424
00:20:01,922 --> 00:20:05,590
Right, okay. On my... thing.
425
00:20:05,615 --> 00:20:08,449
- Your thing?
- Okay.
426
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,109
Okay, ready?
427
00:20:10,134 --> 00:20:12,412
Okay, three, two, one.
428
00:20:12,437 --> 00:20:14,351
- Fuck!
- Don't you run!
429
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,401
Shit!
430
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,218
Hey!
431
00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:23,711
Fucking... oh.
432
00:20:24,113 --> 00:20:26,090
Oh, man, that was incredible.
433
00:20:26,738 --> 00:20:28,597
- It was exciting.
- Yeah.
434
00:20:28,622 --> 00:20:30,836
I feel alive.
435
00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:33,595
That was... this is the real me.
436
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:35,998
Always on my toes. Nimble.
437
00:20:36,023 --> 00:20:37,811
- No, it isn't.
- Mm.
438
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:40,336
The real you is the
exact opposite of that.
439
00:20:40,361 --> 00:20:41,660
No, it's not.
440
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,073
Tell me you're not gonna go back
441
00:20:43,097 --> 00:20:44,752
to that place tomorrow and pay them.
442
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,652
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do that.
443
00:20:48,611 --> 00:20:51,590
Oh. Oh, shit.
444
00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:56,660
Treat her well.
445
00:20:57,552 --> 00:20:59,801
Don't be another me.
446
00:21:02,832 --> 00:21:04,888
Hey, you all right?
447
00:21:06,176 --> 00:21:07,957
Give her a kiss from me.
448
00:21:08,137 --> 00:21:10,986
And I apologize for my breath.
449
00:21:24,115 --> 00:21:27,638
- It's so lovely and peaceful.
- It's too peaceful.
450
00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:30,679
Luke hasn't done his smoke alarm
and perimeter checks yet.
451
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,413
Mm.
452
00:21:38,493 --> 00:21:39,812
Oh.
453
00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:42,998
- Sweetheart.
- I miss Sprout.
454
00:21:43,023 --> 00:21:45,567
I used to tell him all my secrets.
455
00:21:45,592 --> 00:21:48,412
Baby, I'm so sorry.
456
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,028
Was he a very good listener?
457
00:21:50,053 --> 00:21:51,240
He was.
458
00:21:51,265 --> 00:21:54,599
I-I can't really feel him inside of me.
459
00:21:54,624 --> 00:21:55,835
I lied.
460
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:57,713
He's always there,
even if you can't feel him.
461
00:21:57,738 --> 00:21:59,443
You know, I think we need to bury Sprout
462
00:21:59,468 --> 00:22:01,733
so we can all have a proper good-bye.
463
00:22:02,609 --> 00:22:04,591
Sprout's been in the
freezer long enough.
464
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:06,404
Sprout is in the freezer?
465
00:22:06,429 --> 00:22:08,444
Shh, there, there.
466
00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:20,559
Does anyone want to say a few words?
467
00:22:24,746 --> 00:22:28,467
Sprout was my friend, my best friend.
468
00:22:28,492 --> 00:22:31,313
He liked eating.
469
00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:35,774
He, um, uh...
470
00:22:36,787 --> 00:22:38,557
I don't know what to say.
471
00:22:38,582 --> 00:22:41,925
Sprout had a, uh, zest for life.
472
00:22:41,950 --> 00:22:43,926
He was an adventurous little soul.
473
00:22:43,951 --> 00:22:46,417
You didn't see him much,
but it was always reassuring
474
00:22:46,442 --> 00:22:49,301
to know that he was somewhere
there under the hay.
475
00:22:50,434 --> 00:22:52,051
Not that he ever
really was "there" there.
476
00:22:52,075 --> 00:22:54,442
I mean, he let me down all the time.
477
00:22:54,786 --> 00:22:56,862
Where was he when I graduated?
478
00:22:57,143 --> 00:22:58,495
When I gave birth to Luke,
479
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,464
he was up a fucking
coconut tree in Oman.
480
00:23:01,489 --> 00:23:04,871
Oh... God, he could be selfish
481
00:23:04,896 --> 00:23:06,754
and erratic...
482
00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:09,978
and mad and lazy.
483
00:23:11,395 --> 00:23:13,729
But he was him, he was just...
484
00:23:13,754 --> 00:23:15,680
He was Sprout.
485
00:23:15,856 --> 00:23:19,018
The egotistical
486
00:23:19,043 --> 00:23:22,053
and magical, infuriating,
487
00:23:22,078 --> 00:23:23,995
charismatic,
488
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:26,371
sweet, lovely...
489
00:23:27,763 --> 00:23:29,293
... gerbil.
490
00:23:29,830 --> 00:23:32,434
And we're gonna miss him.
491
00:23:37,704 --> 00:23:39,575
Hey, come on.
492
00:23:40,153 --> 00:23:44,093
It's all right, darling. It's all right.
493
00:23:44,118 --> 00:23:46,864
- Can we go home now?
- Sense the tone.
494
00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:04,170
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com