1
00:00:04,742 --> 00:00:06,519
- I need a poo!
- I know, darling.

2
00:00:06,544 --> 00:00:08,043
You said that 14 times already.

3
00:00:08,068 --> 00:00:09,379
It's literally all I can think about.

4
00:00:09,403 --> 00:00:10,842
- Can we go there?
- No.

5
00:00:10,867 --> 00:00:12,217
- Why not?
- Because it's a shop

6
00:00:12,242 --> 00:00:13,852
selling designer luggage
and we have no money.

7
00:00:13,876 --> 00:00:15,553
We never go anywhere anyway, so.

8
00:00:15,578 --> 00:00:17,396
- Oi!
- Can I go inside?

9
00:00:17,421 --> 00:00:19,810
- It looks amazing.
- No, it's not amazing.

10
00:00:19,835 --> 00:00:22,006
We need to get home.
Come here or I'll shoot you.

11
00:00:22,031 --> 00:00:23,112
That's murder.

12
00:00:23,137 --> 00:00:25,039
No, this right now, this is murder.

13
00:00:25,064 --> 00:00:27,054
Come on, we need to get home
before Ava has an accident.

14
00:00:27,078 --> 00:00:29,509
I'm gonna poo my pants like a big pig.

15
00:00:29,534 --> 00:00:31,585
Pigs don't wear pants.

16
00:00:34,939 --> 00:00:37,139
Is this where your dad needs to go?

17
00:00:37,164 --> 00:00:39,209
No. Mum, mum, come back here.

18
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:41,389
Stop wandering off.
We know where we're going.

19
00:00:41,414 --> 00:00:43,209
I know where we're going.
It's just up here.

20
00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:45,623
It's the foot department, for one.

21
00:00:45,648 --> 00:00:49,014
Foot-checking department.
Big old hospital, this.

22
00:00:49,039 --> 00:00:50,795
There's no foot-checking department,

23
00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:52,827
you're just having your ankle
looked at by the physio.

24
00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:55,592
- My mum, your gran.
- Yeah.

25
00:00:55,617 --> 00:00:57,927
Used to have a chiropodist visit.

26
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,279
She was housebound, so this foot fella

27
00:01:00,304 --> 00:01:01,631
- came to the house.
- Mmhmm.

28
00:01:01,656 --> 00:01:04,121
And the priest would
be round to say mass.

29
00:01:04,146 --> 00:01:05,146
Oh, man.

30
00:01:05,171 --> 00:01:06,834
- And the Corona lorry.
- Yeah.

31
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:07,991
Fizzy drinks.

32
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,083
Laundry van for sheets.

33
00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:13,506
Fuck me.

34
00:01:13,539 --> 00:01:16,689
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

35
00:01:16,714 --> 00:01:18,287
Hold it in, sweetheart.

36
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,549
Quick, quick, I need to go!

37
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,490
- Hurry up!
- Right.

38
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:24,818
There we go.
Upstairs, straight to the toilet.

39
00:01:25,923 --> 00:01:27,256
Jellyfish sting is a thing,

40
00:01:27,281 --> 00:01:29,084
but pissing on a bee sting,

41
00:01:29,109 --> 00:01:30,976
that's a whole new territory.

42
00:01:31,446 --> 00:01:32,967
Hey, sweetheart.

43
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:35,725
Don't worry,
these awful bastards are on their way.

44
00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,299
Guys, Ally.

45
00:01:37,324 --> 00:01:39,222
- Ally, these awful bastards.
- Hiya.

46
00:01:39,247 --> 00:01:40,271
- Hello.
- Hi.

47
00:01:40,296 --> 00:01:41,779
Ava, up you go for a poo.

48
00:01:41,804 --> 00:01:43,030
Shout down when you need wiping.

49
00:01:43,054 --> 00:01:45,140
- Careful on the stairs.
- Okay!

50
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,154
Well, fantastic meal, Mike.

51
00:01:47,179 --> 00:01:50,115
Happy you enjoyed it.
So, Lamb and Flag tonight.

52
00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:52,061
I might need a little help
with the dirty business.

53
00:01:52,085 --> 00:01:53,835
No, no, we've got you covered, mate.

54
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:55,092
Just no single malts.

55
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:56,929
All right, agreed. Brandy it is.

56
00:01:58,877 --> 00:01:59,943
On your way.

57
00:01:59,968 --> 00:02:01,357
- See you soon.
- Oh, no, no, no,

58
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,014
I'll clear that up in a second.

59
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:04,444
Were those the same men
that were eating lunch

60
00:02:04,468 --> 00:02:06,256
- here yesterday?
- Yeah, a couple of them.

61
00:02:06,281 --> 00:02:08,364
It's nice to give a meal to people.

62
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,756
They're always buying me
drinks down at the pub.

63
00:02:10,781 --> 00:02:14,014
Fucking hell, Michael,
you've used up all the food again.

64
00:02:14,039 --> 00:02:15,499
Why didn't you just call
me when I was at the shops,

65
00:02:15,523 --> 00:02:17,318
'cause I was literally
just at the shops.

66
00:02:17,343 --> 00:02:20,796
Yeah. Well, I have a minor
issue with phone credit,

67
00:02:20,821 --> 00:02:23,639
and with not actually
having a phone any more.

68
00:02:23,664 --> 00:02:26,017
Right. Now have you
found a room yet or...?

69
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:27,522
I'm getting there.

70
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,880
Believe me, I want to be out

71
00:02:28,905 --> 00:02:31,059
of your hair every bit as
much as you want me to go.

72
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,284
I don't want you to go,
particularly, it's just...

73
00:02:33,309 --> 00:02:36,043
I need to hear about the
National Insurance thing,

74
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,281
find out what pension money I can claim.

75
00:02:38,306 --> 00:02:39,506
- Right.
- Once I know how much

76
00:02:39,531 --> 00:02:41,631
I'm getting,
I'll move into whatever place

77
00:02:41,656 --> 00:02:43,790
I can afford, as God as my witness.

78
00:02:44,309 --> 00:02:47,794
Okay. I mean, you are
welcome to stay here, obviously.

79
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,006
It's just at the same time, you aren't.

80
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,351
Does that make sense?

81
00:02:50,375 --> 00:02:52,536
We don't want you living
anywhere too shitty.

82
00:02:52,561 --> 00:02:55,567
- I've finished my messy poo!
- You know what I mean.

83
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:57,958
Coming!

84
00:02:57,983 --> 00:02:59,849
Oh, don't forget mum's
babysitting tonight,

85
00:02:59,874 --> 00:03:01,817
so please make yourself invisible.

86
00:03:01,842 --> 00:03:02,907
Mm-hmm.

87
00:03:08,058 --> 00:03:10,208
Do you want a tea from
the machine while we wait

88
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,433
for your dad to have his doings seen to?

89
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,849
Can we get a decent
coffee from over the road?

90
00:03:14,874 --> 00:03:17,122
The machine's stuff always
tastes a bit like...

91
00:03:17,147 --> 00:03:18,180
- Piss.
- Yeah.

92
00:03:18,205 --> 00:03:20,130
Hot piss, that burns
the roof of your mouth.

93
00:03:20,155 --> 00:03:22,422
I want some nice fair-trade
piss from the caff.

94
00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:24,739
- Do they do tea?
- Yeah, of course they do.

95
00:03:24,764 --> 00:03:26,669
No, I mean do they do it properly

96
00:03:26,694 --> 00:03:29,127
with loose leaves in a nice tea...

97
00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:30,809
Mum!

98
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:32,637
- Oh!
- Fuck!

99
00:03:32,662 --> 00:03:34,466
You just stepped in
front of an ambulance.

100
00:03:34,491 --> 00:03:36,145
Oh, I never!

101
00:03:36,439 --> 00:03:38,817
- You've broke my arm.
- I haven't.

102
00:03:38,842 --> 00:03:40,817
- You've fractured me.
- No, I haven't.

103
00:03:40,842 --> 00:03:42,007
I was saving her life.

104
00:03:42,032 --> 00:03:43,731
- It's fine, mate.
- Dear!

105
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,156
You didn't see the big ambulance?

106
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:46,413
It don't half hurt.

107
00:03:46,438 --> 00:03:48,203
Well, I'm sorry about this.
Let me take this.

108
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,458
We're gonna have a sit down.

109
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:51,228
- What, in there?
- Probably in there,

110
00:03:51,252 --> 00:03:53,239
yeah, in the hospital. There you go.

111
00:03:53,264 --> 00:03:54,764
Jesus Christ.

112
00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:58,645
I was with Paul,
just out the front there,

113
00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:00,075
and he went for me.

114
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,786
Grab her, she means, to save her.

115
00:04:01,811 --> 00:04:04,191
He went for me arm, and me stomach.

116
00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:06,490
No, don't say "went for."
I was stopping you getting run over.

117
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,950
If you could let your mother speak,
please, Mr. Worsley.

118
00:04:08,975 --> 00:04:10,809
What? I was...

119
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,981
With respect,
I wasn't stopping her from speaking.

120
00:04:13,006 --> 00:04:15,302
I just want to hear what
happened in Jackie's own words.

121
00:04:15,327 --> 00:04:17,028
Yeah, me too.
I'm trying to facilitate that

122
00:04:17,053 --> 00:04:19,052
so we're all on the same page here.

123
00:04:19,077 --> 00:04:22,138
- I'm very clumsy, aren't I?
- Yes, you are,

124
00:04:22,163 --> 00:04:24,208
but don't say that like
I've asked you to say...

125
00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,167
Don't look at me; look at her.

126
00:04:26,192 --> 00:04:28,794
He hasn't ordered me
to say anything, Doctor.

127
00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:31,083
I'm under no threat
of any more violence.

128
00:04:31,108 --> 00:04:32,911
- "Any more vi..." Christ.
- I might ask you

129
00:04:32,936 --> 00:04:35,169
to step into that cubical down
the call, Mrs. Worsley.

130
00:04:35,194 --> 00:04:36,940
I'll have a colleague give
you a further examination

131
00:04:36,964 --> 00:04:38,622
and see if there's any other bruising.

132
00:04:38,647 --> 00:04:41,856
I hope you don't think it's
Paul's fault I got hurt.

133
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,153
We just need to look you over,

134
00:04:43,178 --> 00:04:44,520
give you a bit of an MOT.

135
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,861
This is a kind son, really.

136
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,787
Although he did once smack
me in the face with a spade.

137
00:04:49,812 --> 00:04:51,846
Plastic one, not a...
Don't say that, Mum.

138
00:04:51,871 --> 00:04:54,833
Christ, it was tiny and plastic
and for making sandcastles.

139
00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:56,286
It was an accident, I was three.

140
00:04:56,311 --> 00:04:58,339
You could have had me eye out.

141
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,765
He used to love being
all nude on the beach

142
00:05:00,790 --> 00:05:02,520
- when he was a toddler.
- Christ.

143
00:05:02,545 --> 00:05:04,849
Running round with
his funny little prawn

144
00:05:04,874 --> 00:05:06,567
- out for all to see.
- Oh, man.

145
00:05:06,592 --> 00:05:08,613
My colleague will be with you shortly.

146
00:05:08,638 --> 00:05:10,130
Thank you.

147
00:05:10,915 --> 00:05:13,528
Thanks. She really
was about to get run over.

148
00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:17,145
- How's your son, Mr. Worsley?
- My s... Luke, you mean?

149
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:19,388
Yes, he's fine, thanks. How do you...

150
00:05:19,413 --> 00:05:21,020
We've seen you before, right, with Luke?

151
00:05:21,045 --> 00:05:23,142
- Yeah. Quite a few times.
- Mm-hmm.

152
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,120
Doctor?

153
00:05:30,145 --> 00:05:31,665
Hi, our baby fell off the sofa.

154
00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:33,893
Yeah, he's hit his head.
We left the room for one second,

155
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,978
- and he slipped off.
- We put lots of cushions around him.

156
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,112
- But...
- I'm sure he'll be fine.

157
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,470
- Come with me.
- Thank you.

158
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,712
Doctor! He flew out the swing.

159
00:05:42,737 --> 00:05:43,776
I wasn't pushing him hard at all.

160
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,126
He's got quite weak arms, for a man.

161
00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:46,587
- What?
- Come this way.

162
00:05:50,543 --> 00:05:53,441
Hi, he put his Spiderman
mask on backwards

163
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:54,565
and ran into the bin.

164
00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:55,887
Ow.

165
00:05:55,912 --> 00:05:57,496
Hold on, mate. It's alright, darling.

166
00:05:57,521 --> 00:05:58,653
Excuse me, mate.

167
00:05:58,678 --> 00:06:00,044
Broken child here, mate.

168
00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:01,319
Thanks.

169
00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:03,230
- Ow.
- It's seems like

170
00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,012
Luke's right shoulder
has been dislocated.

171
00:06:05,037 --> 00:06:07,207
We were swinging him by his arms.

172
00:06:07,232 --> 00:06:08,418
In a fun way.

173
00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:09,708
Yeah, you know when you each take a hand

174
00:06:09,732 --> 00:06:12,097
and you lift them up and you swing them.

175
00:06:13,472 --> 00:06:14,878
Yeah, no.

176
00:06:14,903 --> 00:06:18,855
Right. Uh, well, Luke is fine,
thank you for asking.

177
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,421
Very well, in fact. Thriving.

178
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:22,046
Quite the catalogue of accidents.

179
00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:25,488
Oh, I wouldn't say catalogue.
Pamphlet, maybe, a leaflet.

180
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,503
Everyone else in the family well?

181
00:06:27,528 --> 00:06:29,695
Yeah, my dad's here, currently.

182
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:30,986
He had a fall.

183
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:32,934
That was nothing to do with me.

184
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,621
Not that my mum's injuries
are to do with me.

185
00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,692
I mean they are to do with me,

186
00:06:35,716 --> 00:06:37,783
'cause I caused them,
but for the right reason.

187
00:06:39,011 --> 00:06:40,856
Well, my colleague will
check out your mum's bruises

188
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,831
and see if any treatment is needed.

189
00:07:05,285 --> 00:07:07,063
- Paul.
- Yeah, come in.

190
00:07:07,088 --> 00:07:09,274
- Thanks for doing this.
- You're welcome.

191
00:07:09,606 --> 00:07:11,930
Been trying to get a table
at this place for months.

192
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:13,266
Apparently they do things with scallops

193
00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:15,224
beyond human imagining.

194
00:07:15,513 --> 00:07:16,797
Hi, Mum. There's not much food

195
00:07:16,822 --> 00:07:18,408
but you can give the kids
spaghetti with butter

196
00:07:18,432 --> 00:07:20,977
and Marmite or sardines
and Ryvita, sorry.

197
00:07:21,002 --> 00:07:22,102
- Where is he?
- Who?

198
00:07:22,127 --> 00:07:23,926
Him. Your father.

199
00:07:23,951 --> 00:07:26,375
I smell Green Irish Tweed
cologne and brown leather.

200
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,219
I'm wearing aftershave,
it might be that.

201
00:07:28,244 --> 00:07:30,525
- I just bleached the sink.
- He's here.

202
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,711
Why have you got that
big shit in your house?

203
00:07:32,736 --> 00:07:34,415
- Michael isn't here.
- He is.

204
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,073
- Michael isn't here.
- See?

205
00:07:36,098 --> 00:07:37,418
He's at the pub with his friends

206
00:07:37,443 --> 00:07:39,696
and he won't be back until very late.

207
00:07:39,721 --> 00:07:42,571
Right, I can't be in a house
that man is staying in. Sorry.

208
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,493
- Leah.
- Ugh!

209
00:07:45,117 --> 00:07:46,375
Twat.

210
00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:53,547
We'd be on the grilled sea bass by now

211
00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:54,671
if it wasn't for Luke.

212
00:07:54,696 --> 00:07:55,696
Do we need onions?

213
00:07:55,721 --> 00:07:58,258
We need everything. We have no food.

214
00:07:58,283 --> 00:08:01,765
Michael has fed the 5,000 and
3,000 of them had seconds.

215
00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,414
What, so are we all having...

216
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:04,869
Spaghetti with butter and Marmite, yeah.

217
00:08:04,893 --> 00:08:07,795
It's that or Shreddies
avec Thai red curry sauce.

218
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,375
I'll order a fridge full of food.

219
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,665
- Tom and Jerry fridge full.
- Yes.

220
00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:13,824
Big ham and a shiny roast turkey

221
00:08:13,849 --> 00:08:17,868
and a trifle and a cheese
with massive holes in it.

222
00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:20,360
Luke, Ava, dinner's ready!

223
00:08:20,385 --> 00:08:21,766
Coming!

224
00:08:21,791 --> 00:08:24,047
Oi, slow down, careful on the stairs.

225
00:08:25,334 --> 00:08:27,860
Michael was talking
about moving out today.

226
00:08:27,885 --> 00:08:28,985
Okay, good.

227
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:30,144
- Do you want him gone?
- Hmm.

228
00:08:30,168 --> 00:08:31,744
Ava, what cheese do you
want from the shop?

229
00:08:31,768 --> 00:08:33,196
Monkey bum cheese.

230
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,365
Right, and if they haven't got that?

231
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,408
She likes Red Leicester.
I don't know if I want him gone.

232
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,493
Most of my life I've been
wanting him to come back.

233
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,930
Luke, dinner's ready!

234
00:08:39,955 --> 00:08:41,621
Luke, down here now, you little sod!

235
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,886
You're already in my bad books.

236
00:08:42,911 --> 00:08:44,282
Coming in a second!

237
00:08:44,307 --> 00:08:45,821
No, not in a second, mate, now.

238
00:08:45,846 --> 00:08:48,914
Quick smart or your
dinner goes in the bin, run!

239
00:08:49,108 --> 00:08:51,108
Hurry! Hurry, hurry!

240
00:08:54,149 --> 00:08:56,310
- Ah!
- Shit.

241
00:08:56,335 --> 00:09:00,133
Ah! Ow! Ow!

242
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,483
- Ow!
- All right.

243
00:09:06,508 --> 00:09:08,749
- You're mad.
- No, Ally, I'm serious.

244
00:09:08,774 --> 00:09:10,974
I'm deadly serious.
We can't take him to hospital.

245
00:09:10,999 --> 00:09:11,999
It hurts!

246
00:09:12,024 --> 00:09:13,920
We are taking Luke to hospital.

247
00:09:13,945 --> 00:09:15,445
No! The doctor made it very clear.

248
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:17,391
They already suspect that we are dodgy.

249
00:09:17,416 --> 00:09:19,946
Now if we go in again with
another injury, another accident...

250
00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:21,850
- But it was an accident!
- Ow!

251
00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:23,942
Do you really think they're
gonna take Luke into care?

252
00:09:23,966 --> 00:09:25,132
Yes, yes I do.

253
00:09:25,157 --> 00:09:26,834
Or he'll have to live
with foster parents.

254
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,202
- They'll probably be vegans.
- Oh, Paul.

255
00:09:28,226 --> 00:09:30,610
- He hates chickpeas.
- Just calm down, calm down.

256
00:09:30,635 --> 00:09:32,306
Right, what do you suggest we do then?

257
00:09:32,331 --> 00:09:33,797
Look, if it is broken,

258
00:09:34,431 --> 00:09:36,313
can we set the bone ourselves?

259
00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:38,912
Okay. How would we know if it was broken

260
00:09:38,937 --> 00:09:40,914
and now would we reset a bone?

261
00:09:40,939 --> 00:09:43,026
YouTube! Everything's on YouTube.

262
00:09:43,051 --> 00:09:44,064
It's how I fixed the toilet.

263
00:09:44,088 --> 00:09:45,919
We could end up permanently
disabling our son!

264
00:09:45,944 --> 00:09:46,988
Yes I know, but it's either that

265
00:09:47,012 --> 00:09:48,922
or "Hello, King Herod, back again?"

266
00:09:48,947 --> 00:09:50,469
Oh, Christ.

267
00:09:50,494 --> 00:09:52,694
Shh. Ow.

268
00:09:59,854 --> 00:10:01,561
All right. Come on then, mate.

269
00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:03,735
- Come on, darling.
- Ow!

270
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,882
- Ow. Ow.
- Okay. All right. All right.

271
00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:07,642
It's okay, Luke.

272
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:09,922
We're gonna go in and
get your foot mended, okay?

273
00:10:09,947 --> 00:10:11,507
Yes, yes, listen, mate.

274
00:10:11,532 --> 00:10:13,131
You've got to tell them
that Mummy and Daddy

275
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:15,163
had nothing to do with this, all right?

276
00:10:15,188 --> 00:10:17,540
'Cause we wouldn't hurt you,
we love you, don't we?

277
00:10:17,565 --> 00:10:19,251
But you were running when
you shouldn't have been.

278
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:22,389
But you shouted at me to run,
"Hurry, hurry, hurry."

279
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:23,813
Okay, well I'm sorry about that.

280
00:10:23,838 --> 00:10:25,625
So really it's your fault I slipped.

281
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:27,462
Listen, mate, if you'd come
down your fucking dinner when...

282
00:10:27,486 --> 00:10:28,486
All right.

283
00:10:28,964 --> 00:10:30,297
I'm sorry I shouted.

284
00:10:30,322 --> 00:10:32,132
Don't tell the doctor I shouted, okay?

285
00:10:32,157 --> 00:10:33,668
Just think about what you're
saying if they ask you

286
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:35,191
- any questions, Luke.
- Mmhmm.

287
00:10:35,216 --> 00:10:37,771
If I don't,
will you shoot me like you said?

288
00:10:37,796 --> 00:10:40,163
- Yeah.
- Come on.

289
00:10:42,296 --> 00:10:44,611
- It hurts!
- I know, sit back.

290
00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:47,993
Ow, ow.

291
00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:50,578
Ow.

292
00:10:52,429 --> 00:10:53,993
Dr. Dimitrescu?

293
00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:55,930
Ah.

294
00:10:56,374 --> 00:10:58,797
What seems to be the
problem with this young man?

295
00:10:58,822 --> 00:11:01,189
Running when he shouldn't have been?

296
00:11:05,869 --> 00:11:08,335
- So, a bad sprain.
- Yes.

297
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,659
A few days off from school.

298
00:11:09,684 --> 00:11:11,705
- Yay!
- And RICE therapy.

299
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:13,696
Rest, ice, compression, elevation.

300
00:11:13,721 --> 00:11:14,908
Luke should be better soon.

301
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:15,999
Well, that is a relief.

302
00:11:16,024 --> 00:11:17,824
Yes, that is. Thanks, Doctor.

303
00:11:17,849 --> 00:11:20,747
And I'm going to ask
that someone visit you.

304
00:11:20,772 --> 00:11:24,540
Just to chat about child
safety in and around the house.

305
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,696
Just to see if we can't make things

306
00:11:26,721 --> 00:11:29,211
a little less dangerous
for Luke and Ava.

307
00:11:29,236 --> 00:11:31,725
S... I'm sorry, do you mean

308
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,665
the Social Services are gonna visit?

309
00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:36,727
It is the local authority's
children services department

310
00:11:36,752 --> 00:11:38,365
will be visiting, yes.

311
00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:40,490
We're gonna get a visit
from Social Services?

312
00:11:42,156 --> 00:11:43,755
Hmm.

313
00:11:46,935 --> 00:11:49,961
Okay, well thanks, shall we...
Come here, mate.

314
00:12:05,718 --> 00:12:07,060
I'm so ashamed.

315
00:12:07,085 --> 00:12:09,262
We've got fucking social
workers coming, Paul.

316
00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:11,444
- No, I know, I heard.
- They're coming around to our house.

317
00:12:11,468 --> 00:12:13,967
I mean that is serious, serious shit.

318
00:12:13,992 --> 00:12:16,717
We need to change
how we are with the kids.

319
00:12:17,119 --> 00:12:19,639
- You mean I need to change.
- No. We need to change.

320
00:12:19,664 --> 00:12:21,775
That's why I said "we" and not "you."

321
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,177
Yeah, but I'm the one that
shouts at them, aren't I?

322
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,069
I'm the rager. I'm Hair Trigger Harry,

323
00:12:26,094 --> 00:12:28,181
I'm the one who made
Luke run down the stairs.

324
00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:32,178
Ally, I'm...

325
00:12:33,202 --> 00:12:34,801
I'm not an abuser, am I?

326
00:12:34,826 --> 00:12:36,702
- Of course not.
- I mean I'd never hit them.

327
00:12:36,727 --> 00:12:38,660
Luke's just had a lot of accidents.

328
00:12:38,685 --> 00:12:41,995
Well, some psychologists would say

329
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:44,287
that nothing is ever really an accident.

330
00:12:45,028 --> 00:12:47,217
I have never beaten you.

331
00:12:47,776 --> 00:12:50,971
An adult shouldn't beat a child,
that's my motto.

332
00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:53,490
Not really sure you
can claim that as yours.

333
00:12:53,591 --> 00:12:55,701
I sometimes smacked you.

334
00:12:55,726 --> 00:12:58,461
Back of the legs, fine.
And your mam hit you.

335
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,271
Women are allowed to hit.
But you were never beaten.

336
00:13:01,296 --> 00:13:02,415
Many thanks.

337
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,685
Though it is a fine distinction.

338
00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:07,115
- No, beating involves a shoe.
- Oh, it does?

339
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:09,356
Right, that's the UN definition, is it?

340
00:13:09,381 --> 00:13:10,848
Well, a weapon of some kind.

341
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,016
Shoe, slipper, leather belt.

342
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:14,874
Ideally it's something you can wear

343
00:13:14,899 --> 00:13:16,701
so you always have it with you.

344
00:13:17,092 --> 00:13:20,091
- You don't hit your two, do you?
- No. Of course no.

345
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:22,568
Non-psychopaths don't hit
their children these days.

346
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,926
I mean I want to sometimes, Jesus.

347
00:13:24,951 --> 00:13:26,309
Of course you do.

348
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:28,665
Humans have walloped the
living shit out of our kids

349
00:13:28,690 --> 00:13:30,777
since caveman-times.

350
00:13:30,802 --> 00:13:32,685
Right up until Live Aid.

351
00:13:32,904 --> 00:13:35,564
It's only in this last
generation it's all changed.

352
00:13:35,589 --> 00:13:37,599
Yeah, it was always wrong, Dad.

353
00:13:37,624 --> 00:13:40,000
You can't teach right and
wrong through violence.

354
00:13:40,025 --> 00:13:41,124
No?

355
00:13:42,409 --> 00:13:44,558
No, I mean sometimes you can, I guess.

356
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:47,427
Maybe a swift wallop is better
than taking the iPad away

357
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:50,130
for a week or no chocolate
for a month or whatever.

358
00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:54,193
It's quicker, but I couldn't
physically hurt my kids.

359
00:14:16,142 --> 00:14:19,111
Do you think I'm...

360
00:14:19,136 --> 00:14:22,023
subconsciously hurting Luke?

361
00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:24,078
- Oh, don't be daft.
- No, seriously.

362
00:14:24,103 --> 00:14:27,078
Maybe I want to hit him
sometimes, like I was hit,

363
00:14:27,103 --> 00:14:29,625
but I know I can't,
so I hurt him in other ways,

364
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:33,242
subconsciously via swings or stairs,

365
00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:34,734
or a dislocated shoulder.

366
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:36,478
We both dislocated Luke's shoulder.

367
00:14:36,503 --> 00:14:38,170
That's sweet of you to say.

368
00:14:38,195 --> 00:14:41,796
Look, we are, we're in shock.
We just need to get some sleep.

369
00:14:43,413 --> 00:14:44,909
Do you reckon they'll
go through the bins?

370
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:46,900
- See how much we drink?
- I don't know, Paul.

371
00:14:46,925 --> 00:14:48,080
I really don't, 'cause I never been

372
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,603
in a fucking Ken Loach
film like this before.

373
00:14:51,302 --> 00:14:52,601
Ally.

374
00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:14,103
Oh, it comes around again, doesn't it?

375
00:15:14,128 --> 00:15:15,634
- What's that, Carl?
- Bin day.

376
00:15:15,659 --> 00:15:17,689
You think it can't be
a week since I last put

377
00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:20,173
the recycling out,
but of course, it always is.

378
00:15:20,198 --> 00:15:21,764
You can't fight time.

379
00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:23,949
- Carl, can we ask a favor?
- Of course, I'll be quiet.

380
00:15:23,974 --> 00:15:26,876
No, no, it's not... it's... can we...

381
00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:29,658
put some of our
bottles in your recycling?

382
00:15:30,209 --> 00:15:31,360
Uh, of course.

383
00:15:31,385 --> 00:15:32,823
Yeah, I've only got an olive oil bottle,

384
00:15:32,847 --> 00:15:35,047
a couple of Nutella jars.
Should be fine.

385
00:15:35,337 --> 00:15:37,369
Thanks a lot. We've got some...

386
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:40,386
People coming round.
Not to inspect us, just to observe.

387
00:15:40,411 --> 00:15:41,977
- Is it the Social Services?
- What?

388
00:15:42,002 --> 00:15:43,245
Why do you say that?

389
00:15:43,604 --> 00:15:45,862
Well it's just sometimes
you shout, Paul.

390
00:15:46,307 --> 00:15:48,440
At Luke and Ava, and people
can hear, neighbors,

391
00:15:48,465 --> 00:15:49,932
and you swear sometimes,

392
00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:52,027
and I know certain people have
thoughts about maybe calling...

393
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:53,136
Are they talking about me?

394
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,323
About whether or not I'm a good father?

395
00:15:55,348 --> 00:15:58,222
Fuckers in this terrace,
are they bitching about me?

396
00:15:58,247 --> 00:16:00,238
Bitching's a strong word,
but probably the right one.

397
00:16:00,262 --> 00:16:02,135
I don't need strangers to
tell me I'm a bad father,

398
00:16:02,159 --> 00:16:04,269
I've got myself and the
Social Services to do that.

399
00:16:04,294 --> 00:16:05,894
- How's your fridge?
- How do you mean?

400
00:16:05,919 --> 00:16:07,797
Well my sister had a
visit when she was married

401
00:16:07,822 --> 00:16:10,355
to a sociopathic narcissist,
no comparison intended,

402
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,362
and she said they checked
the fridge for food,

403
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:14,346
what your kids will eat tonight,
what they'll eat in the morning.

404
00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:16,011
Well, it's empty, currently.

405
00:16:16,036 --> 00:16:17,886
But we have got another delivery coming,

406
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:19,144
fuck, right about now.

407
00:16:19,169 --> 00:16:21,020
Hun, we can't let them
see how the fridge is now.

408
00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:22,605
It looks like a fridge
you'd leave by the road.

409
00:16:22,629 --> 00:16:24,073
- Thank you, Carl.
- Good luck.

410
00:16:24,098 --> 00:16:25,309
And if you need a character witness,

411
00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:27,426
tell them to call the Nokia,
number's in my newsletter.

412
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,649
Okay.

413
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:39,558
Hey. What's... what's this?
It was in the recycling.

414
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,617
- What's what?
- Hmm?

415
00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:43,253
- Oh.
- Oh?

416
00:16:43,278 --> 00:16:44,816
You're not eligible
for any state pension

417
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,719
because you didn't pay
your stamp for long enough.

418
00:16:46,743 --> 00:16:49,073
- Were you gonna tell us?
- Sure, tonight.

419
00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:51,276
I don't know how this
got in the recycling.

420
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,980
I must have just put it
in there by accident.

421
00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:55,071
Some psychologists say
there are no accidents.

422
00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:56,354
Then they're morons.

423
00:16:56,379 --> 00:16:57,579
So you have no money at all,

424
00:16:57,604 --> 00:17:00,354
and no prospect of any money at all.

425
00:17:00,379 --> 00:17:02,079
I'll find a place.

426
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,603
Don't worry. I'll take a job...

427
00:17:03,628 --> 00:17:05,730
Michael, you're 70,
what are you gonna do for a living?

428
00:17:05,754 --> 00:17:07,222
Be the face of fucking L'Oréal?

429
00:17:07,247 --> 00:17:09,034
Now is not the time to deal with this.

430
00:17:09,059 --> 00:17:11,440
I am not having our kids taken
away and replaced by you.

431
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,714
- That is not the plan.
- I understand.

432
00:17:13,739 --> 00:17:17,040
I'll disappear before the
child catchers arrive.

433
00:17:17,299 --> 00:17:18,744
- Fucking hell.
- Where's our shopping,

434
00:17:18,768 --> 00:17:19,947
- by the way?
- Yeah, I know. It's late.

435
00:17:19,971 --> 00:17:20,972
Do you want me to go
out and get some stuff?

436
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,387
No, there's no time,
and then we'll end up

437
00:17:22,411 --> 00:17:23,418
with two lots of shopping...

438
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:26,285
and it'll look like mad over-caterers
making our kids obese.

439
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:27,567
- Hello?
- <i>Is that Mr. Worsley?</i>

440
00:17:27,592 --> 00:17:28,700
- Yes it is.
- <i>Your shopping delivery.</i>

441
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:30,340
Oh right. Supermarket delivery guy.

442
00:17:30,365 --> 00:17:31,738
- Oh.
- <i>It's nose to tail here.</i>

443
00:17:31,763 --> 00:17:33,607
There's an accident up ahead,
so I'm gonna be late.

444
00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:34,637
<i>Very sorry, sir.</i>

445
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,223
No, no, how late? You can't be late.

446
00:17:36,248 --> 00:17:38,520
Oh, it seems like
a pretty major accident.

447
00:17:38,545 --> 00:17:40,363
<i>There's two air ambulances.</i>

448
00:17:40,388 --> 00:17:42,732
Looks like there's
definitely fatalities.

449
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,857
Right, but I do need my shopping.

450
00:17:45,841 --> 00:17:47,621
<i>Don't... don't judge me.</i>

451
00:17:47,646 --> 00:17:49,191
If I don't get my shopping
in the next two minutes,

452
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,115
my children will be taken into care.

453
00:17:52,561 --> 00:17:54,021
If you don't get your
shopping in the next

454
00:17:54,045 --> 00:17:56,067
two minutes your children
will be taken into care?

455
00:17:56,092 --> 00:17:58,082
<i>Sounds unlikely, I know, but yes.</i>

456
00:17:58,107 --> 00:18:00,974
Look, is there another of
your vans just a minute or so

457
00:18:00,999 --> 00:18:03,044
from my house who can give
me someone else's shopping?

458
00:18:03,068 --> 00:18:04,847
I don't care what the shopping
is as long as it's food

459
00:18:04,871 --> 00:18:06,785
and not just tampons and clingfilm.

460
00:18:06,810 --> 00:18:09,543
Y... you can't have
someone else's shopping,

461
00:18:09,568 --> 00:18:10,927
<i>Mr. Worsley.</i>

462
00:18:10,952 --> 00:18:12,707
God, it's the Stasi. They're early.

463
00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:16,298
Fuck you. When my kids
are being diddled in a shed

464
00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:19,455
by some bearded nonce,
it'll be your fucking fault.

465
00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:21,416
- Hi.
- Hello.

466
00:18:21,441 --> 00:18:22,907
Hello.

467
00:18:23,078 --> 00:18:24,267
- Do you... yeah.
- Please.

468
00:18:24,292 --> 00:18:25,424
Come in.

469
00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:26,728
Thank you very much.

470
00:18:36,256 --> 00:18:37,572
3,000 a month.

471
00:18:37,597 --> 00:18:38,931
Bills included.

472
00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,892
Boiler's just been serviced.

473
00:18:42,089 --> 00:18:44,994
It is quite a challenging
house for young children.

474
00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:46,806
Uh, yes, no.

475
00:18:46,831 --> 00:18:50,642
We bought it when we
weren't thinking about kids.

476
00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:52,338
Yeah. Not that we didn't want them.

477
00:18:52,363 --> 00:18:53,673
We did. We do.

478
00:18:53,698 --> 00:18:55,947
They mean everything to us.

479
00:18:56,205 --> 00:18:57,205
Yes.

480
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:58,689
How old are the children?

481
00:18:58,714 --> 00:19:00,439
Four and seven.

482
00:19:00,755 --> 00:19:02,555
Stair gates seem brand new.

483
00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:04,913
Ordinarily with older children
you don't expect that...

484
00:19:04,938 --> 00:19:06,604
We panicked.

485
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:07,963
They are new. Sorry.

486
00:19:07,988 --> 00:19:10,103
We just... we put them in today.

487
00:19:12,458 --> 00:19:13,658
We're scared.

488
00:19:13,683 --> 00:19:16,072
We're scared. I'll be honest with you.

489
00:19:16,097 --> 00:19:17,963
We're fucking terrified,
excuse my language.

490
00:19:17,988 --> 00:19:19,300
We think you're going
to take the kids away

491
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,892
'cause I'm a monster.

492
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,160
Are you a monster?

493
00:19:22,185 --> 00:19:23,619
He's definitely not a monster.

494
00:19:23,644 --> 00:19:24,855
I try hard not to be a monster.

495
00:19:24,879 --> 00:19:25,970
I mean I love those kids.

496
00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:27,767
I don't want them hurt.
I don't hurt them.

497
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,478
But sometimes accidents just happen.

498
00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:31,220
Look at Princess Diana...
Although they do,

499
00:19:31,245 --> 00:19:33,228
- sometimes think that...
- Tsts-ts.

500
00:19:33,474 --> 00:19:36,103
I'm gonna save you the trouble
of looking in the fridge.

501
00:19:36,128 --> 00:19:37,261
It's a barren fridge.

502
00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:39,377
Although we do actually
have a food truck coming.

503
00:19:39,402 --> 00:19:41,564
I can show you the receipt, on my phone.

504
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:43,002
- Yeah.
- Yeah, see?

505
00:19:43,027 --> 00:19:46,128
One substitution. A
different kind of ham.

506
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,533
That's fine.

507
00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:50,931
This is obviously a home

508
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,283
where children are cared for.

509
00:19:52,308 --> 00:19:56,306
The number of books, the variety
of clothes, bathroom toys.

510
00:19:56,524 --> 00:19:59,845
It's clearly a very
child-centered household.

511
00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:02,314
Yes, it is, thank you. Thank you.

512
00:20:02,339 --> 00:20:04,853
So, have we passed?

513
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:06,752
It's not a question of passing.

514
00:20:06,777 --> 00:20:09,228
Right. No. Yeah. But have we?

515
00:20:09,253 --> 00:20:11,854
Uh, we just need to try and
avoid any further accidents

516
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:13,533
as much as possible in the future.

517
00:20:13,558 --> 00:20:15,869
If we feel there's any
neglect of the children,

518
00:20:15,894 --> 00:20:17,916
and that includes preventable accidents,

519
00:20:17,941 --> 00:20:20,542
we can and will legally intervene.

520
00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:23,783
- Understood.
- So we're sort of on probation.

521
00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:26,209
Well, it could be worse, I suppose.

522
00:20:26,902 --> 00:20:30,611
But obviously it could be a lot,
lot better... too.

523
00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:32,897
Yeah.

524
00:20:34,157 --> 00:20:35,335
Excuse me.

525
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:38,413
Just a few details...

526
00:20:45,147 --> 00:20:47,749
Um... does it come...

527
00:20:47,774 --> 00:20:50,116
You just have...
if you press, lift, and then...

528
00:20:50,141 --> 00:20:51,141
Right.

529
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,120
You know what? I'll just...

530
00:20:55,277 --> 00:20:57,374
- Actually safer like that.
- Yeah.

531
00:20:57,399 --> 00:20:58,665
See you later.

532
00:21:01,389 --> 00:21:02,788
Oh.

533
00:21:02,914 --> 00:21:04,163
Shall I bring the bags in, sir?

534
00:21:04,188 --> 00:21:05,888
No, just hand them over's fine.

535
00:21:07,991 --> 00:21:09,186
Cheers.

536
00:21:09,211 --> 00:21:10,921
Sorry for swearing at you earlier.

537
00:21:10,946 --> 00:21:12,866
Go fuck yourself, you little shit.

538
00:21:13,501 --> 00:21:15,593
And we're good with
the ham substitution,

539
00:21:15,618 --> 00:21:17,017
by the way.

540
00:21:22,425 --> 00:21:25,825
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