1 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:17,095 Hello? Robyn, it's me, Danny. Danny Davis. 2 00:00:17,096 --> 00:00:19,695 I'm fucked, Rob. This journalist, she's got pictures of me. 3 00:00:19,696 --> 00:00:21,520 I am freaking out! OK. 4 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,123 Uh, just calm - calm down. 5 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,575 The media is gonna crucify me. What - what journalist? 6 00:00:26,576 --> 00:00:28,948 I don't know, I don't know. Abby - Abby - Annie something. 7 00:00:28,950 --> 00:00:31,257 Abigail Reese? Yes, yes, that's it. 8 00:00:31,259 --> 00:00:33,495 That sounds right. They'll cancel the contract. 9 00:00:33,496 --> 00:00:36,535 I don't know what I'm gonna do. Danny, you have to stop shouting 10 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,975 at me. Calm down. Take a Xanax. 11 00:00:39,976 --> 00:00:43,015 I have a couple of things I have to do, 12 00:00:43,016 --> 00:00:45,855 but I will be with you in a bit. OK? Promise? 13 00:00:45,856 --> 00:00:49,616 We got this. OK, OK, OK. I promise. Alright, OK. 14 00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:52,841 Breakfast? My wife's expecting me back... 15 00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:46,338 Good morning, beautiful. 16 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,520 I did it! Did what? 17 00:01:48,522 --> 00:01:50,535 The prototype - I figured it out. 18 00:01:50,536 --> 00:01:53,015 We should celebrate. You should shower. 19 00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:56,159 Gabriel, darling, I'm delighted for you. Really, I am. 20 00:01:56,161 --> 00:01:59,935 But if you needed to work, then why didn't you just cancel me? 21 00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,775 I wanted you here. 22 00:02:01,776 --> 00:02:04,015 You focused me and I figured it out. 23 00:02:04,016 --> 00:02:05,935 We figured it out. 24 00:02:05,936 --> 00:02:08,375 We should have French toast. 25 00:02:08,376 --> 00:02:10,899 I have to go. It's my sister-in-law's hen do. 26 00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:12,975 No. Stay. 27 00:02:12,976 --> 00:02:15,015 I thought you didn't want to go to that thing anyway. 28 00:02:15,016 --> 00:02:16,615 So you just want me to cancel my plans, again? 29 00:02:16,616 --> 00:02:21,055 I'll make it worth your while. Oh, come on, honey, you inspired me. 30 00:02:21,056 --> 00:02:23,095 Every genius needs his muse. 31 00:02:23,096 --> 00:02:29,043 You are my muse! Mmm! I want to take you everywhere, like a lucky charm. 32 00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:31,720 Like a pet? No. Wait, this is serious. 33 00:02:31,722 --> 00:02:34,416 I love this. We make a great team. 34 00:02:35,676 --> 00:02:37,271 Um, well, I'm - I'm... 35 00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:41,015 I'm glad that you have, um, finished your work. 36 00:02:41,016 --> 00:02:44,215 Look, dating a billionaire has its challenges. 37 00:02:44,216 --> 00:02:47,267 Sometimes I have to work late, but on the flipside, 38 00:02:47,269 --> 00:02:49,495 you get the best food, you get the best wine. 39 00:02:49,496 --> 00:02:52,535 You never have to stand in an airport line ever again. 40 00:02:52,536 --> 00:02:54,565 Some people would say that's a pretty sweet deal. 41 00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:59,689 I really should go. OK. Well, come back after the party. 42 00:02:59,691 --> 00:03:01,775 You'll have my undivided attention. 43 00:03:01,776 --> 00:03:03,855 Enjoy your breakfast, Gabriel. 44 00:03:03,856 --> 00:03:05,395 Babe, we OK? 45 00:03:26,091 --> 00:03:27,890 Tell you what. Why don't you ask Mimi, 46 00:03:27,892 --> 00:03:29,655 see what she thinks? Ask me what? 47 00:03:29,656 --> 00:03:32,895 Kaz is offended by the fact that I still shave my armpits. 48 00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:35,817 It's too early in the morning to be talking about my daughter's body hair. 49 00:03:36,536 --> 00:03:38,455 You alright? Yeah, I'm fine. 50 00:03:38,457 --> 00:03:39,765 Are you sure? 51 00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:41,367 Yeah, I just need to get dressed. 52 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:12,615 Quite a dress. 53 00:04:12,616 --> 00:04:14,375 Thank you. 54 00:04:14,376 --> 00:04:16,295 Touting for business? 55 00:04:16,296 --> 00:04:18,907 Just making the most of my legs, before I'm too old 56 00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:20,436 and have to wear a pantsuit. 57 00:04:23,178 --> 00:04:26,015 I stayed in this hotel once. I was 19. 58 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:30,215 Some Indian prince took me for dinner, trying to woo me. 59 00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:33,975 Wanted to take me back to Delhi, show me off as his alabaster wife. 60 00:04:33,976 --> 00:04:35,575 Promised me riches beyond belief. 61 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,135 19. 62 00:04:37,136 --> 00:04:39,209 That was my first marriage proposal. 63 00:04:39,211 --> 00:04:41,558 First? Three pre-marriage, 64 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,306 the one I said yes, to, of course, and one post-marriage. 65 00:04:45,308 --> 00:04:47,826 Were you tempted by the prince? 66 00:04:47,828 --> 00:04:50,774 Not really. He had a terribly small penis, 67 00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:53,695 and I've never been a fan of spicy food. 68 00:04:53,696 --> 00:04:56,508 Still, fun to daydream, though, isn't it? 69 00:04:57,816 --> 00:05:00,315 You really must stop dyeing your hair. 70 00:05:00,976 --> 00:05:03,016 After you, Mummy. 71 00:05:11,176 --> 00:05:12,815 Is it good for her being on that... 72 00:05:12,816 --> 00:05:15,175 that thing the whole time? 73 00:05:15,176 --> 00:05:17,976 Tell you what. Do you want to see if she wants to play I Spy? 74 00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:22,242 Sure you're OK? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 75 00:05:22,244 --> 00:05:24,495 Mum, it's understandable that you're gonna be feeling a little bit... 76 00:05:24,496 --> 00:05:26,335 Darling, please don't try and psychoanalyse me. 77 00:05:26,336 --> 00:05:28,655 I appreciate you might be feeling a little out of practice, but I'm 78 00:05:28,656 --> 00:05:31,015 afraid you're going to have to scratch that itch elsewhere. 79 00:05:31,016 --> 00:05:32,775 Why are you being so hostile? 80 00:05:32,776 --> 00:05:37,668 Apparently, it all starts with one's mother. Sorry. 81 00:05:38,154 --> 00:05:39,934 I'm being a bitch. 82 00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:43,620 How's Michael? Michael's good. He's busy at work 83 00:05:43,622 --> 00:05:47,095 'cause of all the redundancies, so he's pretty stressed. 84 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,615 Have you decided when you're going back to work? 85 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:50,975 Mum, I haven't even had the baby yet. 86 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,615 Doesn't seem fair, him going off and doing his thing while 87 00:05:53,616 --> 00:05:55,215 you're at home, stuck with a baby. 88 00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:58,021 I can't wait to be stuck at home with a baby. 89 00:05:58,023 --> 00:06:01,006 You know, some people actually quite like raising their children. 90 00:06:01,008 --> 00:06:02,756 Can you two just play nice? 91 00:06:02,758 --> 00:06:06,162 You're supposed to be my benchmark for female-on-female relationships, 92 00:06:06,164 --> 00:06:09,036 and I'd like for it to be a positive one. Please. 93 00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:11,726 She's very woke. 94 00:06:12,176 --> 00:06:14,982 So, anyway, why are they having this thing so far away? 95 00:06:14,984 --> 00:06:17,334 Well, Lady Muck wants him buried in the family plot. 96 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:20,095 They have a family plot? Yes. 97 00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:22,615 Where do you want me to stick you when you pop off? 98 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:27,575 Shove me in a furnace and throw me in the sea. Don't bury me. 99 00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:30,015 I put a lot of effort into preserving this body, 100 00:06:30,016 --> 00:06:33,451 and the thought of it just degrading like that fills me with anxiety. 101 00:06:33,453 --> 00:06:36,970 I want to be fabulous right up until the last possible moment. 102 00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:39,592 Ooh, yass, queen! Ahh! 103 00:06:43,168 --> 00:06:46,175 Eeh! Password, please! 104 00:06:46,176 --> 00:06:48,415 Uh, "Kill me"? 105 00:06:48,416 --> 00:06:51,135 Bubbles! Kitty, drink them. 106 00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:54,335 This is Kitty, my maid of dishonour. We used to play lacrosse 107 00:06:54,336 --> 00:06:56,815 together, though she was always more of a rower, weren't you, Kit? 108 00:06:56,816 --> 00:07:00,095 Kitty, this is the famous Victoria, mummy-to-be. 109 00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:02,295 Thank you so much for being here. 110 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:06,335 Darling, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh! 111 00:07:06,336 --> 00:07:09,017 Bless you. And this stunning creature is Eve. 112 00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:10,815 Hey, Sis! Thank you so much for being here. 113 00:07:10,816 --> 00:07:12,655 Honestly, I didn't think you were going to make it. 114 00:07:12,656 --> 00:07:15,655 Well, she missed her grandmother's 90th, so count yourself honoured. 115 00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:17,935 Come in, come in! I'm literally just getting pampered 116 00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:20,016 into oblivion. Kitty, jackets. 117 00:07:23,915 --> 00:07:25,606 Come, come. 118 00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:31,139 You look beautiful. Oh, stop it, you'll make me cry. 119 00:07:31,141 --> 00:07:33,575 Don't, you'll set me off. 120 00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:36,426 Now, this is just a little something. 121 00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:44,730 Oh, my god, it's gorgeous. Is that Granny Mag's? 122 00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:46,815 It's gorgeous! Look! You always said you'd give that 123 00:07:46,816 --> 00:07:48,975 to me when I got married. Yes, well, I didn't want it to 124 00:07:48,976 --> 00:07:51,375 go to waste. That's so kind of you. 125 00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:53,615 Nonsense. You are part of the family now, not to mention my 126 00:07:53,616 --> 00:07:58,015 best chance of grandkids any time soon, so I have to butter you up. 127 00:07:58,016 --> 00:08:00,428 I'm sorry, Mummy, I know I should be putting your needs first. 128 00:08:00,429 --> 00:08:03,095 Eve doesn't have time for kids. She's too busy being an absolute 129 00:08:03,096 --> 00:08:05,295 bad-arse. I keep seeing your posts 130 00:08:05,296 --> 00:08:07,775 on Instagram. Your life is so glamorous. 131 00:08:07,776 --> 00:08:10,415 Don't believe everything you see on social media, darling. 132 00:08:10,416 --> 00:08:12,536 You are aware she works in PR! 133 00:08:14,176 --> 00:08:17,149 OK, well, when everyone gets here, we're going to pop downstairs for 134 00:08:17,151 --> 00:08:19,855 a bit of a spa, and then after that, it's back up to the room for 135 00:08:19,856 --> 00:08:22,495 afternoon tea with a twist. Ooh, what's the twist? 136 00:08:22,496 --> 00:08:23,696 Alcohol. 137 00:08:27,311 --> 00:08:30,334 Jesus, this place is insane. 138 00:08:30,336 --> 00:08:34,034 Nothing says grief like a lavish display of unearned money. 139 00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,001 Oliver. 140 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:54,610 What do you think? You look superb. That's one of 141 00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:59,449 the things I've always loved about you, the way you embrace tradition. 142 00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:02,768 It was your idea! 143 00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:05,866 You saw that picture of me at my gram-gram's funeral and you said, 144 00:09:05,868 --> 00:09:09,573 "If I die first, promise me you'll go to my funeral 145 00:09:09,575 --> 00:09:12,008 "dressed exactly like that. 146 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:15,170 The parish priest will spontaneously combust." 147 00:09:16,705 --> 00:09:20,089 You know you look really ugly when you're grumpy. 148 00:09:20,090 --> 00:09:21,889 Well, damn, girl! 149 00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,889 Oh, my god. What do you think? 150 00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:25,558 Fierce. 151 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,449 Are you serious? 152 00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:29,411 What? Mum, you can't wear that. 153 00:09:29,413 --> 00:09:30,919 It's traditional. 154 00:09:30,921 --> 00:09:33,051 Elizabeth will have a heart attack. Hopefully. 155 00:09:33,053 --> 00:09:35,250 Mum! This is what people in 156 00:09:35,252 --> 00:09:37,331 my culture wear to funerals. 157 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,612 Your culture? Mum, you're from Croydon. 158 00:09:39,614 --> 00:09:41,493 And I've seen you wear wrapper, like, three 159 00:09:41,495 --> 00:09:43,712 times in your life and every time, you bitched about it. 160 00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:47,110 Well, I think it looks sick. See? She thinks it's sick. 161 00:09:47,112 --> 00:09:48,809 Right, is it gonna be one of those days, is it? 162 00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:51,169 One of what days? Can't we just go and be 163 00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,849 nice and pay our respects to Duncan? 164 00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:55,329 Course we can, darling. That's exactly what we're going to do. 165 00:09:55,689 --> 00:09:57,092 Wakanda forever. 166 00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:17,939 So, what do you do, Eve? Oh, she's in PR. 167 00:10:17,941 --> 00:10:21,049 Like 'Ab Fab'? But not as funny. 168 00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:24,172 No, but seriously, she's, like, off living the 'SATC' dream. 169 00:10:24,174 --> 00:10:26,013 Lots of men, lots of parties. 170 00:10:26,022 --> 00:10:28,141 I don't know how you do it. Since becoming a mummy, 171 00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:31,111 me and the fella are literally tucked up in bed by 9pm. 172 00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:33,202 Well, Eve's probs still in bed by 9pm, just with 173 00:10:33,204 --> 00:10:35,849 a bunch of different fellas, right? 174 00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:41,155 Yes, right, I am a total slut! Cam's got twins. 175 00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:45,596 Two for the price of one. All natural. Hashtag blessed. Look. 176 00:10:46,492 --> 00:10:47,692 Right. 177 00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:51,764 So amazing. Super-mum. 178 00:10:51,766 --> 00:10:54,954 I'm lucky to have Magda to help out, but I'm not going to lie. 179 00:10:54,956 --> 00:10:57,089 Breastfeeding two at once makes you feel 180 00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,049 a bit like a Mr Whippy machine. LOL! 181 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:02,209 But really, it's actually great getting 182 00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:04,849 two out of the way like that. Me and Humph always said we wanted 183 00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:08,003 three plus, so this way, we're a good 18 months ahead of schedge. 184 00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:10,289 God, I just can't wait to be pregnant. 185 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:12,569 I'm just not sure that Christian's ready yet. 186 00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:14,809 My darling, I'm just impressed you even got him this far. I'm grateful 187 00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:19,009 to you for calming down. Oh, god, was he trouble, Vic? 188 00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:20,289 Ooh! No, nothing serious. 189 00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:23,209 You know, boys will be boys. Do you remember that time that 190 00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:26,609 he and his friends got accused of sexual assault at university? 191 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:29,209 That was hilarious. We were grateful that Daddy 192 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,249 had a few powerful lawyer friends that day, I can tell you. 193 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,650 Still, boys will be boys. 194 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,261 He wasn't charged. 195 00:11:42,147 --> 00:11:43,770 Hi, Robyn. It's me. 196 00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:45,829 I'm here with the girls. I think we should stick together. 197 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,469 Safety in numbers and all that. 198 00:11:47,471 --> 00:11:50,031 I'm slightly worried we're going to be herded into a giant wicker 199 00:11:50,032 --> 00:11:52,557 teapot and burnt to death. 200 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:54,718 OK, bye. 201 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:59,160 Any luck? Wife number two. 202 00:12:09,308 --> 00:12:13,667 Caroline. Hi. Thank you so much for coming. 203 00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,812 You look, uh, wonderful. 204 00:12:15,814 --> 00:12:18,038 Thank you, Damian. How are you bearing up? 205 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,209 Just trying to get everybody through today. 206 00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:22,089 Give the old man a proper send-off. 207 00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:23,914 I'm sure he'd be very proud. 208 00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:25,116 Are you? 209 00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:30,689 Bessie. Have you met Bessie? Hey, Bessie. 210 00:12:30,690 --> 00:12:32,643 Look at that. Oh! 211 00:12:32,645 --> 00:12:34,925 Hello in there! This is Kaz. 212 00:12:34,927 --> 00:12:38,116 Oh, yes, I think we met when you were very little. 213 00:12:38,475 --> 00:12:40,514 You're a grandmother? Incredible. 214 00:12:40,755 --> 00:12:42,743 It's true what they say, isn't it? Really... 215 00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:44,356 really doesn't crack, does it? 216 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,804 Oh, Caroline, you remember my mother, Elizabeth. 217 00:12:47,806 --> 00:12:51,128 Oh, you came. I was honoured to be invited. 218 00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:54,310 Well, he did stipulate it in his dying wishes. 219 00:12:57,899 --> 00:12:59,349 Colourful dress. 220 00:13:00,648 --> 00:13:02,447 Would one call it a dress? 221 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,008 It's perfect. 222 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:07,268 It'll really stand out amongst all this dowdy black. 223 00:13:10,606 --> 00:13:14,211 I suppose you've come to make sure you're not cut out of the will. 224 00:13:14,213 --> 00:13:16,862 Oh, quite right. When you've spent all those years 225 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:19,685 digging up the gold, you don't want to get pipped at the finish line. 226 00:13:20,576 --> 00:13:22,996 You are very bold, aren't you? 227 00:13:30,868 --> 00:13:34,067 Danny, Danny, what an unexpected surprise. 228 00:13:34,069 --> 00:13:36,668 Where the fuck is Robyn? I'm losing my shit here! 229 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:39,049 Whoa, you need to slow down. 230 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,135 Did she speak to you, about the journalist, Abby Reese? 231 00:13:41,136 --> 00:13:42,489 What about Abby Reese? 232 00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:44,049 She's got pictures, me sucking up 233 00:13:44,050 --> 00:13:46,312 the white stuff like a fucking aardvark at an ant farm. 234 00:13:46,314 --> 00:13:47,516 I already told Robyn all this. 235 00:13:47,518 --> 00:13:50,288 You spoke to Robyn? Hours ago. She said she'd come over. 236 00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:51,889 OK, Danny, I'm sending someone 237 00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:54,978 to you right now. Just - just don't do anything stupid, OK? 238 00:13:54,980 --> 00:13:57,288 Hang in there, darling. Someone will be right with you. 239 00:13:57,290 --> 00:13:59,454 Suck a donkey dick. 240 00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:03,659 Come on, come on. 241 00:14:03,661 --> 00:14:06,181 Hey, it's Robyn. I'm busy right now but leave me a message after the... 242 00:14:06,182 --> 00:14:07,618 Oh, for fuck's sake! 243 00:14:14,656 --> 00:14:16,815 Caroline. Where the fuck is Robyn? 244 00:14:16,817 --> 00:14:18,192 Haven't heard from her since yesterday. 245 00:14:18,193 --> 00:14:20,232 I need someone at Danny Davis's house right now. 246 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,376 Reese is running a story. He's freaking out. He needs containing. 247 00:14:23,378 --> 00:14:27,050 I'm at my sister-in-law's hen do. I don't give a herd of flying cocks 248 00:14:27,052 --> 00:14:30,261 where you are. Someone needs to be at his house within the hour. 249 00:14:32,053 --> 00:14:34,676 Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 250 00:14:37,839 --> 00:14:39,789 Hey, it's Robyn. I'm busy right now but... 251 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,756 Oh, not kicked that filthy habit, then? 252 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:44,461 Still, I suppose at least it keeps you thin. 253 00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:47,569 Could you not at least make an effort 254 00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,576 to be civil, for Madeline's sake? 255 00:14:49,578 --> 00:14:52,497 I'm sorry, Mummy. I'm just not as practiced at disguising my inner 256 00:14:52,499 --> 00:14:55,295 reptile as you are. Look, I might just need to nip out for a sec. 257 00:14:55,297 --> 00:14:57,316 There's been an emergency at work. 258 00:14:57,318 --> 00:14:59,560 I wondered how long it would take before you found an excuse to 259 00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:03,094 disappear. I thought you might at least make it to cocktails. 260 00:15:03,096 --> 00:15:05,169 Go on, then, off you go. Oh, Mummy, 261 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,409 I'll be back as soon as... You don't have anything to prove, 262 00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:10,449 you know. I know you think you're better than everyone because you 263 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:13,049 work at weekends and you swear 264 00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:16,129 and you go on marches about tampon taxes and trannies. 265 00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:19,014 I'm sorry, would you prefer me to just drown my potential in 266 00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:21,369 prosecco, and just squeeze out some pretty babies, whilst obsessing 267 00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:24,122 over catchment areas and getting my home featured in 'Hound & Gardens'? 268 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:26,592 Everybody loves a little bit of rebellion, but one always 269 00:15:26,594 --> 00:15:28,169 defaults to what one knows. 270 00:15:28,171 --> 00:15:31,766 Now, it might take some people longer than others, but it happens. 271 00:15:31,768 --> 00:15:34,675 My advice to you, try not to make it too long a journey back because, 272 00:15:34,677 --> 00:15:36,436 unlike your brother, 273 00:15:36,438 --> 00:15:38,076 you do have a time limit. 274 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,496 Good luck with your emergency. 275 00:15:42,685 --> 00:15:44,761 Don't bother coming back in. 276 00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:46,999 No need to make a scene. 277 00:15:47,629 --> 00:15:48,829 Fuck. 278 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:01,409 Hello! I'm Melody. You must be Danny. 279 00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:06,831 It can be hard being a son when your father is a man like my dad. 280 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,220 He casts a long shadow. 281 00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:12,580 He came from meagre beginnings. I'm sure most of you will have 282 00:16:12,581 --> 00:16:14,220 heard the story... God almighty, 283 00:16:14,221 --> 00:16:15,940 this is depressing. ..of how he grew up 284 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,778 in a three-bedroom house with two other families... 285 00:16:17,779 --> 00:16:20,072 And who the fuck are all these dreary people? 286 00:16:20,074 --> 00:16:22,824 I don't even know who half of them are, and the other half 287 00:16:22,826 --> 00:16:25,863 I never liked anyway. My send-off, I was supposed to be shot out of 288 00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:27,935 a cannon from a superyacht. 289 00:16:27,937 --> 00:16:29,656 The family wanted a modest affair. 290 00:16:29,658 --> 00:16:31,417 I was lucky to get an invite. 291 00:16:31,419 --> 00:16:32,907 What are you wearing? 292 00:16:33,508 --> 00:16:36,100 My funeral, I can wear whatever the fuck I want. 293 00:16:36,101 --> 00:16:40,700 Despite initial struggles with what we now know to be dyslexia... 294 00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:44,543 Oh, dear god, are these the best anecdotes he can come up with? 295 00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:46,970 ...and was the first in his family to attend university... 296 00:16:46,971 --> 00:16:51,181 I once snorted a gram of cocaine off Kylie Minogue's bottom, 297 00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:54,374 and then rode a Shetland pony into a swimming pool. 298 00:16:57,546 --> 00:16:59,420 Don't laugh at the guests, darling. 299 00:16:59,421 --> 00:17:01,724 You're standing out enough as it is. 300 00:17:01,726 --> 00:17:04,740 ...to be as powerful a force in the lives of the ones we love 301 00:17:04,741 --> 00:17:09,221 - as he was. We love you, Dad. - Boring! 302 00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:24,861 There's no point in asking, 303 00:17:24,863 --> 00:17:26,356 you'll get no reply. 304 00:17:26,358 --> 00:17:27,560 Just remember, 305 00:17:27,562 --> 00:17:28,950 I don't decide. 306 00:17:28,952 --> 00:17:30,540 I have no reasons, 307 00:17:30,542 --> 00:17:32,084 It's all too much. 308 00:17:32,086 --> 00:17:33,644 You'll always find us 309 00:17:33,646 --> 00:17:35,122 out to lunch. 310 00:17:35,124 --> 00:17:36,957 Don't ask us to attend, 311 00:17:36,959 --> 00:17:38,711 because we're not all there. 312 00:17:38,713 --> 00:17:39,958 Don't pretend, 313 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,645 because I don't care. 314 00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:43,413 I don't believe illusions, 315 00:17:43,415 --> 00:17:44,996 because too much is real. 316 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,824 So stop your cheap comments, 317 00:17:46,825 --> 00:17:48,793 because we know what we feel. 318 00:17:48,794 --> 00:17:50,332 We're so pretty, 319 00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,770 oh, so pretty, 320 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,301 we're vacant. 321 00:17:53,302 --> 00:17:54,832 We're so pretty, 322 00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:56,324 oh, so pretty, 323 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:59,622 ah, a pretty va... cant. 324 00:18:03,973 --> 00:18:05,262 That was from a book 325 00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:07,736 from Rotten, chapter two. 326 00:18:08,282 --> 00:18:09,532 Thank you. 327 00:18:16,354 --> 00:18:19,449 That is why I married you. 328 00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:23,750 Powerful words. 329 00:18:23,752 --> 00:18:26,348 I wasn't gonna stand up there and recite Keats. 330 00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:29,921 The man was a punk, a beautiful punk. He'd have hated all this pomp. 331 00:18:29,923 --> 00:18:32,502 The least I can do to honour his memory is bring my own little 332 00:18:32,504 --> 00:18:34,453 slice of anarchy to the proceedings. 333 00:18:34,455 --> 00:18:36,614 I think he'd be very proud of your efforts. 334 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,335 You're such a fucking bad-arse. 335 00:18:38,337 --> 00:18:40,866 Kaz! Sorry, but she is. 336 00:18:44,549 --> 00:18:46,055 How are you feeling? 337 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,391 Um, hungry. 338 00:18:48,872 --> 00:18:50,871 You head inside and find 339 00:18:50,872 --> 00:18:53,121 somewhere to sit as far away from the grown-ups as possible. 340 00:18:53,123 --> 00:18:54,763 I need to go to the bathroom. 341 00:19:33,723 --> 00:19:37,323 Eve Carter Price? That's you. 342 00:19:37,325 --> 00:19:40,388 Yes? Your party has been upgraded. What? 343 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:55,544 Oh, my god! 344 00:20:02,598 --> 00:20:06,621 Who's Gabriel? Uh, oh, nothing. He's a client. 345 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:09,287 Sounds like someone's been giving him the special treatment. 346 00:20:09,631 --> 00:20:11,551 Ooh! Um, who is this? 347 00:20:11,553 --> 00:20:14,679 What does he do? He builds electric planes. 348 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:18,354 Shut the front door! Not Gabriel Cole? Stop it! Who? 349 00:20:18,356 --> 00:20:22,715 Gabriel Cole! He's like this sexy billionaire tech entrepreneur slash 350 00:20:22,717 --> 00:20:25,723 playboy guy, right? Is that the guy? Yeah, that's the guy. 351 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,045 Really? 352 00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:29,628 I mean, it's nothing. We've been on a few dates. 353 00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:34,905 Let's drink to that. Lucky byatch! 354 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,438 So, I didn't know you were seeing anyone. 355 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,835 Billionaire tech entrepreneur, eh? 356 00:20:41,837 --> 00:20:43,548 How have you manage that? Well... 357 00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:45,670 Actually, don't answer that. 358 00:20:51,411 --> 00:20:53,451 Cheers, Maddy! 359 00:20:55,177 --> 00:20:56,788 That was quite a speech. 360 00:20:57,410 --> 00:21:00,958 Did you write it yourself? These hors d'oeuvres are precious. 361 00:21:01,282 --> 00:21:04,521 I feel like I'm in a TV movie about Princess Michael of Kent. 362 00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:07,062 Well, we can't all be as avant-garde as you. 363 00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:10,514 That's the problem with old money, I find. 364 00:21:10,516 --> 00:21:12,635 People simply don't know how to spend it. 365 00:21:12,637 --> 00:21:14,717 Whereas people who spend other people's money 366 00:21:14,719 --> 00:21:16,623 seem to be able to do it with no trouble at all. 367 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:18,877 Oh, stop flirting, you're turning me on. 368 00:21:18,879 --> 00:21:20,829 Have you always been this vulgar? 369 00:21:20,831 --> 00:21:23,238 I suppose that's why Duncan liked you so much. 370 00:21:23,239 --> 00:21:25,644 That, and my magnificent cunt. 371 00:21:25,646 --> 00:21:27,128 Please excuse me. 372 00:21:34,972 --> 00:21:36,931 Hilarious affairs, aren't they, these things? 373 00:21:36,933 --> 00:21:40,934 Um, this is Mimi. Caroline Mills, grieving widow, 374 00:21:40,936 --> 00:21:44,261 and this is my 15-year-old daughter. 375 00:21:45,594 --> 00:21:48,592 Oh, I'm actually her granddaughter. 376 00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:53,842 Can I get you something to drink? Yes, I'd love a glass of champagne, 377 00:21:54,641 --> 00:21:56,601 and she'll have orange juice. 378 00:22:00,556 --> 00:22:03,796 Mimi! Vol-au-vent? 379 00:22:04,673 --> 00:22:05,952 Deepak's gonna kill me. 380 00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:08,993 He's gonna straight up, nuts in a NutriBullet, murder me. 381 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,674 Look, Danny, I think he's gonna understand. You guys are a team. 382 00:22:12,381 --> 00:22:13,864 Understand? 383 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:16,587 He hates me, babe. He's been meaning to go it alone ever 384 00:22:16,589 --> 00:22:19,443 since I fingered the head of BBC Three's missus at the summer ball! 385 00:22:20,279 --> 00:22:24,060 We were both smashed. We drank a jug of Pimm's each. 386 00:22:24,331 --> 00:22:27,170 I could barely find the hole. OK, 387 00:22:27,172 --> 00:22:29,572 well... I'm such a fucking idiot! 388 00:22:30,864 --> 00:22:33,207 I need a bump. I need a bump. 389 00:22:33,536 --> 00:22:35,707 What are you doing? I'm losing my shit here. 390 00:22:35,709 --> 00:22:38,552 I need something to take the edge off it. I'm gonna - I'm gonna lose it. 391 00:22:38,554 --> 00:22:41,891 No, no, I'm under strict instructions. Please, just don't. 392 00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:44,225 Danny, do not do this! Danny! 393 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,560 You... 394 00:23:08,819 --> 00:23:11,471 Oh, no, no-no, no-no don't cry. 395 00:23:12,466 --> 00:23:14,393 Oh, no, no-no, no-no, no-no. 396 00:23:14,395 --> 00:23:16,515 Danny, don't, don't cry. 397 00:23:20,289 --> 00:23:22,569 Are you upset about the cocaine? 398 00:23:25,963 --> 00:23:28,802 This was very kind of him. 399 00:23:28,804 --> 00:23:31,708 What? Your friend, Gabriel. 400 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,109 He's obviously very generous. 401 00:23:34,111 --> 00:23:36,638 Very rich, you mean. 402 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,468 I'm happy for you, darling. 403 00:23:38,470 --> 00:23:41,717 Really, I am, that you've found someone. 404 00:23:41,719 --> 00:23:43,844 I mean, it's all I've ever wanted for you. 405 00:23:43,846 --> 00:23:46,669 Really? That's all? 406 00:23:47,561 --> 00:23:48,761 Why? 407 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,680 Anybody at all? 408 00:23:50,682 --> 00:23:52,190 Doesn't matter what they're like, 409 00:23:52,192 --> 00:23:56,816 just as long as they've got a nice haircut and plenty of cash. Right? 410 00:23:57,746 --> 00:24:01,635 Sometimes, darling, you do sound like a such a child. 411 00:24:02,166 --> 00:24:03,605 Excuse me? 412 00:24:03,607 --> 00:24:06,258 Sweetheart, men are men. 413 00:24:06,853 --> 00:24:08,765 Quid pro quo. 414 00:24:09,503 --> 00:24:12,182 This is not one of the worst things you could settle for. 415 00:24:12,394 --> 00:24:13,594 Wow. 416 00:24:14,225 --> 00:24:16,161 You think you're so 417 00:24:16,459 --> 00:24:18,565 emancipated, don't you? 418 00:24:19,290 --> 00:24:21,791 That's not empowerment you're standing on, sweetheart, 419 00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:25,952 it's privilege. By all means, carry on having sex with all 420 00:24:25,954 --> 00:24:29,491 these strangers under the pretence that it's you objectifying them. 421 00:24:29,493 --> 00:24:32,789 But, sweetheart, no matter what your politics are, they're the ones 422 00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:34,558 showing off to their friends about 423 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,951 the filthy posh bitch who demeaned herself for their pleasure. 424 00:24:38,953 --> 00:24:41,770 You think you're better than these girls, don't you? Why's that? 425 00:24:41,966 --> 00:24:43,886 Because you know you could have any one of their husbands' 426 00:24:43,887 --> 00:24:46,115 tiny little schlongs? Well, I'm sure you're welcome to 427 00:24:46,117 --> 00:24:51,079 them, because they have his money, his security and his children. 428 00:24:52,193 --> 00:24:56,592 You get to be a wife or a mistress, Eve, not both. 429 00:24:58,652 --> 00:25:01,155 At least these women pretend to have class. 430 00:25:12,479 --> 00:25:13,679 Fuck's sake. 431 00:25:34,126 --> 00:25:37,490 I love this game. I used to play this 432 00:25:37,492 --> 00:25:40,091 with my mum and dad when we went on camping holidays. 433 00:25:40,319 --> 00:25:42,318 Have you got any brothers and sisters? 434 00:25:42,319 --> 00:25:45,078 When I was on holiday, my brother used to steal 435 00:25:45,079 --> 00:25:47,661 my underpants and lock me in strangers' bedrooms. 436 00:25:49,809 --> 00:25:51,196 Boys, eh? 437 00:25:53,986 --> 00:25:57,057 So, tell me, what's a nice girl like you doing working in PR? 438 00:25:57,059 --> 00:25:59,606 You seem like you've got too much of a soul. 439 00:25:59,608 --> 00:26:03,618 I like it. I like helping people. Bollocks! If you really wanted to 440 00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:07,139 help people, you'd be wiping old people's arses, or volunteering 441 00:26:07,141 --> 00:26:09,612 for one of those charities that give flip-flops to hobos. 442 00:26:09,614 --> 00:26:10,814 Alright. 443 00:26:12,490 --> 00:26:16,010 I like the drama, as well, and the glamour. 444 00:26:16,012 --> 00:26:18,970 I mean, come on, this is pretty cool right now, because I've 445 00:26:18,972 --> 00:26:21,934 been watching you on the telly since I was, like, what, seven? 446 00:26:21,936 --> 00:26:25,001 And I'm just sitting here playing cards and eating Hawaiian pizza. 447 00:26:25,003 --> 00:26:26,203 Seven? 448 00:26:26,850 --> 00:26:29,489 Christ. Go easy on me, love. 449 00:26:29,490 --> 00:26:32,111 I'm in a fragile enough mental state as it is. 450 00:26:37,267 --> 00:26:39,866 I don't go to that place 'cause I'm a sex addict, by the way. 451 00:26:39,868 --> 00:26:41,329 The knocking shop. 452 00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:43,977 I mean, I used to go there for the girls. 453 00:26:43,979 --> 00:26:47,618 I know that sounds grubby, but in my head, I sort of 454 00:26:47,890 --> 00:26:51,011 felt better than just going to nightclubs and shagging girls 455 00:26:51,013 --> 00:26:52,349 'cause I was famous. 456 00:26:53,224 --> 00:26:55,763 There was this one girl there, Cheryl. 457 00:26:56,379 --> 00:26:59,636 We really hit it off, so we started... 458 00:27:01,168 --> 00:27:06,368 Couldn't really call it a relationship, but she had a kid. 459 00:27:08,730 --> 00:27:11,038 Oh, my - oh, my god. Your kid? 460 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:12,702 No-one knows. 461 00:27:14,254 --> 00:27:16,134 Just Deepak, obviously, 462 00:27:17,631 --> 00:27:18,843 and Robyn. 463 00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:22,769 She managed to keep it all out of the press. 464 00:27:22,770 --> 00:27:25,081 Danny, please don't get upset. 465 00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:28,289 What sort of muppet messes this up, hey? 466 00:27:28,657 --> 00:27:30,329 I come from nothing. 467 00:27:30,708 --> 00:27:33,997 I've had the whole world literally on its knees 468 00:27:34,215 --> 00:27:37,350 with my bell-end in its lips, 469 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,541 and I still managed to mess it up. 470 00:27:44,730 --> 00:27:47,049 God, you've got a real way with words. 471 00:27:47,780 --> 00:27:48,980 Thank you. 472 00:27:52,598 --> 00:27:54,837 I'll have a Martini, dry and dirty. 473 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:58,089 Here she is, the wicked stepmother. 474 00:27:58,622 --> 00:28:01,308 Caroline, Bessie, this is my wife, Charlotte. 475 00:28:01,310 --> 00:28:03,715 Charlotte, this is my step-mum, Caroline. 476 00:28:03,717 --> 00:28:07,114 She - she had an affair with my dad when I was, what, 14? 477 00:28:07,116 --> 00:28:11,489 Then they moved to New York and Paulson PR became Mills-Paulson PR. 478 00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:13,321 She even managed to 479 00:28:13,323 --> 00:28:16,748 convince him to put her name first. That's how good she is at her job. 480 00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:19,929 Well, I can't claim credit for the order of the alphabet. 481 00:28:19,930 --> 00:28:21,809 I'm sure you'd try. 482 00:28:21,810 --> 00:28:23,569 Hey, Sis, what's cooking? 483 00:28:23,570 --> 00:28:25,730 It's amazing to see how much you've grown up, Damian. 484 00:28:25,732 --> 00:28:26,860 Touche. Darling, 485 00:28:26,862 --> 00:28:29,655 why don't we get another drink? Not your conventional step-mum. 486 00:28:30,283 --> 00:28:34,922 I mean, can you imagine this Amazonian goddess coming into 487 00:28:34,924 --> 00:28:38,086 your life when you're a 14-year-old boy, wanting you to call her Mummy? 488 00:28:38,088 --> 00:28:40,698 Sweetheart, I never wanted you to call me Mummy. 489 00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:43,258 It's a confusing time for a boy of that age, full of hormones. 490 00:28:43,260 --> 00:28:45,129 I mean, what were you at the time, 26? 491 00:28:45,131 --> 00:28:46,321 Damian, don't be... 492 00:28:46,323 --> 00:28:48,678 Still, I suppose every family needs their black sheep. 493 00:28:49,834 --> 00:28:51,034 Damian. 494 00:28:56,505 --> 00:28:58,302 Honey, would you get me a drink? 495 00:29:00,350 --> 00:29:01,550 Please. 496 00:29:01,669 --> 00:29:03,061 I'll give you a hand. 497 00:29:19,210 --> 00:29:20,410 OK. 498 00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:24,729 Damian, I'm sorry about your father. 499 00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:26,729 He loved you very much, and 500 00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:30,073 I'm sorry that you're still angry about your parents' divorce. 501 00:29:30,075 --> 00:29:31,421 I'm not angry. 502 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,597 They hated each other anyway. 503 00:29:37,471 --> 00:29:39,176 Look, it's fine. 504 00:29:40,076 --> 00:29:43,845 I'm sure when I'm in my 50s, I'll start fucking the help, too. 505 00:29:46,244 --> 00:29:48,428 Don't you talk to me like that. 506 00:29:48,430 --> 00:29:51,368 Don't you talk to any woman like that, you little brat. 507 00:29:51,618 --> 00:29:53,164 Have you seen the will? 508 00:29:54,611 --> 00:29:56,506 You might want to be more careful 509 00:29:56,508 --> 00:29:59,308 about not pissing off your biggest shareholder. 510 00:30:54,474 --> 00:30:56,953 So, would you like a dance? Oh, no, thank you. 511 00:30:56,955 --> 00:31:01,134 I'm enjoying the show here enough. Are these your friends? 512 00:31:01,136 --> 00:31:04,368 That's my mother, there, the one that looks like the matriarch 513 00:31:04,370 --> 00:31:06,751 from a Greek tragedy who's just agreed the death of 1,000 babies. 514 00:31:06,752 --> 00:31:10,077 She just wants me married off. The shame of having an unbetrothed 515 00:31:10,079 --> 00:31:12,873 child is just awfully difficult to explain in the family newsletter. 516 00:31:12,875 --> 00:31:15,209 "You can be a wife or a mistress, Eve, not both." 517 00:31:15,211 --> 00:31:16,467 Virgins or whores. 518 00:31:16,469 --> 00:31:20,193 Right, exactly. Oh, and also, 519 00:31:20,195 --> 00:31:25,610 I just, um... I spiked their champagne with ecstasy. 520 00:31:29,061 --> 00:31:31,705 I do realise that drugging a room full of strangers without 521 00:31:31,707 --> 00:31:37,621 their consent is not cool. But my mum's a massive bitch. 522 00:31:39,045 --> 00:31:40,645 Sorry not sorry. 523 00:31:43,475 --> 00:31:44,434 Hey, it's Robyn. 524 00:31:44,435 --> 00:31:46,562 I'm busy right now, but leave me a message after... 525 00:31:46,564 --> 00:31:48,378 Right, no more now. Give it to me. 526 00:31:48,380 --> 00:31:50,300 Give it to me. 527 00:31:54,853 --> 00:31:57,292 I don't know how you do it. 528 00:31:57,294 --> 00:32:00,826 What? That. This. 529 00:32:01,547 --> 00:32:05,967 Does it not bother you, constantly being surrounded by these... 530 00:32:06,459 --> 00:32:07,787 people? 531 00:32:09,643 --> 00:32:11,362 You know, as a psychologist... 532 00:32:11,364 --> 00:32:13,248 Oh, Bessie, please not now. I'm tired. 533 00:32:13,250 --> 00:32:14,450 Sorry. 534 00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:19,243 Just don't know how you survived it. 535 00:32:19,245 --> 00:32:21,162 The joy of social mobility is 536 00:32:21,164 --> 00:32:23,898 you get to realise that everyone's a prick. 537 00:32:26,962 --> 00:32:29,188 Well, it's amazing, Mum, honestly. 538 00:32:29,945 --> 00:32:32,874 Very proud of you, what you did. 539 00:32:32,876 --> 00:32:34,103 You know that? 540 00:32:34,587 --> 00:32:36,469 I know sometimes, I... 541 00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:38,948 I mean, if I ever seemed 542 00:32:38,950 --> 00:32:40,397 ungrateful... Oh, Bessie. 543 00:32:40,399 --> 00:32:44,521 No, a black, single mother from a council estate in Croydon, to... 544 00:32:44,523 --> 00:32:47,121 A black, single grandmother being looked down upon 545 00:32:47,123 --> 00:32:48,722 by a roomful of rich white people. 546 00:32:48,724 --> 00:32:52,668 They are not looking down at you. They are fucking terrified of you. 547 00:32:56,521 --> 00:32:57,915 I'm sorry... 548 00:32:58,384 --> 00:33:00,817 Well, I know I probably 549 00:33:00,819 --> 00:33:04,474 wasn't... around enough. No, I get it. 550 00:33:04,475 --> 00:33:06,714 I just wanted you to have everything you wanted. 551 00:33:06,715 --> 00:33:08,624 And you wanted you to have 552 00:33:08,626 --> 00:33:12,205 everything you wanted - and that's OK. 553 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,093 I had an affair, you know. 554 00:33:21,361 --> 00:33:23,234 His name was Gerald. He's dead now. 555 00:33:23,235 --> 00:33:27,015 He died in a yachting accident. He had a holiday home on the coast. 556 00:33:27,017 --> 00:33:29,336 He used to take me there sometimes and make love to me. 557 00:33:29,338 --> 00:33:31,017 I let him do anything to me. 558 00:33:31,019 --> 00:33:34,261 He was a boarding school boy, you know, so naturally, 559 00:33:34,263 --> 00:33:36,422 he had a few perversions, if you know what I mean. 560 00:33:36,424 --> 00:33:38,594 Sometimes we did it in the marital bed. 561 00:33:38,849 --> 00:33:41,006 I always left the sheets on 562 00:33:41,545 --> 00:33:43,592 for when Duncan came home. 563 00:33:44,051 --> 00:33:48,491 I never told him. Even when you happened, I never told him. 564 00:33:50,390 --> 00:33:52,067 Didn't want to let him off the hook. 565 00:33:55,144 --> 00:33:56,344 Anyway. 566 00:33:59,702 --> 00:34:02,918 These people are so fucking weird. 567 00:34:13,351 --> 00:34:16,639 Look at that thing. Fucking twins. 568 00:34:16,641 --> 00:34:20,046 My cooch looks like a beef tomato that's been shot with an airgun. 569 00:34:20,048 --> 00:34:23,487 I do six hours of Pilates a week. 570 00:34:23,488 --> 00:34:26,411 Still, it's like a lollypop lady with carpal tunnel syndrome trying 571 00:34:26,413 --> 00:34:28,186 to grip her stick. 572 00:34:29,754 --> 00:34:32,447 It's an actual fucking tragedy. 573 00:34:35,237 --> 00:34:40,326 Here she is, my beautiful girl! 574 00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:46,606 My god, you are so beautiful. Do you know that? 575 00:34:46,608 --> 00:34:49,816 I know, Mummy, why must I squander my diminishing... 576 00:34:49,818 --> 00:34:51,737 No, no, seriously. Look, look. 577 00:34:52,443 --> 00:34:54,082 Bones and your skin. 578 00:34:57,954 --> 00:35:01,532 Isn't it amazing to think that you came out of my tummy? I mean, 579 00:35:02,248 --> 00:35:04,648 isn't that just bloody mental? 580 00:35:06,220 --> 00:35:08,156 Oh, when you were a little girl, 581 00:35:08,626 --> 00:35:11,825 a baby, I couldn't stop smelling you. 582 00:35:11,827 --> 00:35:14,843 Everyone thought I was this mad woman, but I couldn't get enough. 583 00:35:14,852 --> 00:35:16,551 Oh, just... 584 00:35:16,553 --> 00:35:18,633 Oh, I couldn't get enough. 585 00:35:20,027 --> 00:35:21,227 I just... 586 00:35:22,348 --> 00:35:26,941 I really, really love you, do you know that? 587 00:35:29,696 --> 00:35:31,093 I love you, too, Mum. 588 00:35:33,301 --> 00:35:34,794 My baby girl. 589 00:35:34,796 --> 00:35:38,235 Oh, my baby. 590 00:35:39,992 --> 00:35:44,324 Good gracious, look at you. And you are... 591 00:35:44,856 --> 00:35:47,738 You are really beautiful, do you know? 592 00:35:49,874 --> 00:35:56,258 Your bones... Oh, your skin. Oh... 593 00:36:06,861 --> 00:36:09,508 Why does weeing feel so good? 594 00:36:10,141 --> 00:36:12,235 Oh, my god, you're crying. Why? 595 00:36:12,237 --> 00:36:14,981 Oh, um, nothing, honestly. 596 00:36:17,362 --> 00:36:20,420 My mother. Yeah, they do that. 597 00:36:20,421 --> 00:36:22,916 Why do you think mine wasn't invited? 598 00:36:23,730 --> 00:36:27,096 I'm sorry. What for? 599 00:36:29,614 --> 00:36:33,116 I was angry with my mother and so I wanted to show her 600 00:36:33,474 --> 00:36:35,353 all you classy bitches are just as 601 00:36:35,355 --> 00:36:38,988 basic as I am, and so I spiked the champagne with Molly. 602 00:36:38,990 --> 00:36:41,006 Which one's Molly? Is she a stripper? 603 00:36:46,141 --> 00:36:48,660 You must be so bored of us. 604 00:36:48,661 --> 00:36:51,142 Most of these girls have been planning their wedding since 605 00:36:51,144 --> 00:36:52,624 they were teenagers. 606 00:36:55,623 --> 00:36:57,862 I wish I was like you. 607 00:36:58,755 --> 00:37:01,501 Strong enough to swim against the current. 608 00:37:02,568 --> 00:37:05,047 The rest of us, the water just washes us away. 609 00:37:05,753 --> 00:37:08,373 I mean, do you think I want to marry your brother? 610 00:37:09,067 --> 00:37:13,794 We've been together for 18 months and he's cheated on me twice. 611 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:19,212 Shagged a woman that runs a canine grooming salon. I mean, seriously. 612 00:37:20,516 --> 00:37:23,980 He chose me. And I'm 28, 613 00:37:23,981 --> 00:37:25,700 I'm too scared to say no. 614 00:37:26,362 --> 00:37:28,053 It's not just me, you know. 615 00:37:28,458 --> 00:37:33,221 Allegra's husband shags prostitutes on business trips. 616 00:37:33,223 --> 00:37:35,539 Camilla's husband wanks off to Japanese pornography 617 00:37:35,541 --> 00:37:39,049 when he thinks she's asleep. And Kitty is definitely gay. 618 00:37:41,901 --> 00:37:45,556 But their weddings were bloody beautiful. 619 00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:50,904 I'm going to do a sick now. 620 00:38:44,729 --> 00:38:47,785 You know we consider it pretty rude to not buy a dance. 621 00:38:47,787 --> 00:38:49,546 How about I just pay for the conversation? 622 00:38:49,548 --> 00:38:52,158 Babe, they're all just paying for the conversation. 623 00:38:56,718 --> 00:38:58,398 Does your mother know what you do? 624 00:38:58,612 --> 00:39:01,171 Yep. And she's cool with it? 625 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:05,050 Not exactly. But then she works in brand management 626 00:39:05,052 --> 00:39:09,148 for Nestle and, to be honest, I'm not exactly cool with that. 627 00:39:10,117 --> 00:39:11,812 But that's her choice, right? 628 00:39:12,709 --> 00:39:15,069 They fuck you up, your mom and dad. 629 00:39:15,269 --> 00:39:17,581 They may not mean to, but they do. 630 00:39:17,583 --> 00:39:20,458 They fill you with a faults they had. 631 00:39:20,523 --> 00:39:22,429 And add some extra. 632 00:39:22,685 --> 00:39:23,885 Just for you. 633 00:39:28,175 --> 00:39:30,316 Your mum's being sick in a plant pot. 634 00:39:40,314 --> 00:39:44,275 You hate me. You think I'm a horrible mother. 635 00:39:45,911 --> 00:39:48,116 You are a horrible mother. 636 00:39:48,846 --> 00:39:50,468 But I don't hate you. 637 00:39:51,365 --> 00:39:52,689 Here's the taxi. 638 00:39:52,691 --> 00:39:53,997 He's here for you, Mum. 639 00:39:55,645 --> 00:39:56,845 Oh. 640 00:39:57,152 --> 00:40:01,525 Darling, I did my best with - with what I had. 641 00:40:05,106 --> 00:40:07,628 Man hands on misery to man 642 00:40:09,119 --> 00:40:11,643 It deepens like a coastal shelf. (?) 643 00:40:11,989 --> 00:40:13,997 Get out as early as you can, 644 00:40:14,683 --> 00:40:16,731 And don’t have any kids yourself. 645 00:40:35,869 --> 00:40:38,388 Rob, thank goodness. Where have you been? 646 00:40:38,390 --> 00:40:40,533 I've had a hell of a night. 647 00:40:40,878 --> 00:40:42,431 Eve, is that you? 648 00:40:43,509 --> 00:40:44,709 Tom? 649 00:40:53,770 --> 00:40:55,948 You definitely don't want to come in with us? 650 00:40:55,949 --> 00:40:57,708 You can squeeze in with Kaz. 651 00:40:57,709 --> 00:41:00,309 Thank you, darling. I am totally exhausted. 652 00:41:01,817 --> 00:41:03,351 Thank you for today. 653 00:41:04,569 --> 00:41:06,350 It meant a lot, you being there. 654 00:41:06,352 --> 00:41:08,548 Would have meant a lot to Duncan, as well. 655 00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:10,029 Come here. 656 00:41:13,189 --> 00:41:14,712 I love you, Mimi. 657 00:41:14,714 --> 00:41:16,194 I love you, too, honey. 658 00:41:17,178 --> 00:41:18,378 Come. 659 00:41:50,229 --> 00:41:51,629 Hi. 660 00:42:02,396 --> 00:42:06,348 Well, I suppose I should get going. 661 00:42:06,784 --> 00:42:08,245 I suppose you should. 662 00:42:09,962 --> 00:42:12,996 Was I an act of rebellion for you? 663 00:42:14,170 --> 00:42:15,572 Was I for you? 664 00:42:18,956 --> 00:42:20,995 Your son's a prick, you know that? 665 00:42:20,997 --> 00:42:25,637 Yeah. I know. Gets it from his mother, I'm afraid. 666 00:42:29,389 --> 00:42:31,021 Goodbye, Paulson. 667 00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:33,698 Goodbye, Mills. 668 00:43:09,092 --> 00:43:10,673 Did you get what I asked for? 669 00:43:12,650 --> 00:43:14,067 There's a good boy. 670 00:43:16,429 --> 00:43:18,828 So... No talking, please. Just get undressed.