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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome aboard this flight.
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1506 from London, Heathrow,
to JFK, New York.
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Currently third
in line for takeoff,
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we're expected to be in the air
in approximately ten minutes.
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Excuse me,
do you mind...
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Please turn off all
personal electronic devices,
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including laptops
and mobile phones.
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Smoking is prohibited.
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It is...
It definitely is.
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So,
what were you supposed to do?
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The poor man
paid for business class
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so he didn't have to have
dickheads like us coming up to him
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and ruining his journey.
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Oh, he won't mind.
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Surely, it's nice when people come
up to you and say nice things.
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It's annoying.
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Why is it annoying?
I wouldn't find it annoying.
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Who's going to come up to
you and say nice things?
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I don't know, but if they did,
I wouldn't find it annoying.
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- It's probably not even him.
- It's definitely him.
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You can't say
for definite.
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It's probably just someone
who looks like him.
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Look, his nose is different.
It's bigger.
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Your nose gets bigger when you get older.
Everyone knows that.
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It's definitely him.
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What are you doing?
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I'm gonna go
and say hello.
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- No, don't.
- Why?
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Don't! Arabella!
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Hi!
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Hi, um, I'm really
sorry to bother you.
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I know this is
really sad. And...
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Are you Calvin Cooper?
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I might be.
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I'm gonna sound
like such an idiot.
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But my mum is a huge
fan of yours!
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She has all
your films at home.
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Your mom?
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God, this is weird.
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I don't normally
do things like this,
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and now I'm here,
I don't actually know what to say.
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God, I sound like such a weirdo.
I'm sorry, it's just...
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Maybe you could
sign something.
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What would you
like me to sign?
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I don't know,
I don't even have a pen.
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Um, I haven't really
thought this through.
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Tell you what?
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Maybe once we get up
in the air,
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I'll let you suck me off
in the bathroom,
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how's that sound?
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Seatbelt sign's on.
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Probably best get
back to your seat.
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I'll get you a photo.
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- Mmm-hmm.
- Really?
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Did you see the look
on her face?
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Jesus, Calvin.
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Haven't you picked up a newspaper
in the past couple of years?
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How many times do we need to go
through this? You can't say that shit.
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You know, the amazing thing is,
three times out of ten, it actually works.
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Used to be
eight out of ten.
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I don't know if that's
about me or society.
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The march of progress.
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Come on, lighten up.
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She deserves it after pulling
that crap about her mom.
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Cheeky little bitch.
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- You should get some rest.
- Okay, Grandma.
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Ah.
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I should get a proper drink.
That's what I should get.
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Hi, can I have
a drink, please?
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Refreshments will be
available after takeoff.
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We're in business class.
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I'm sorry, as soon
as we're in the air...
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Do you recognize me?
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Excuse me?
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I'm sorry,
I don't wanna...
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I don't wanna make
a scene,
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but I fly a lot
on your airline.
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And I drop 2.5k
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to travel business class
on this flight
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which I am taking to collect
a humanitarian award
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for all the charity
work that I do.
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I don't want to
toot my own horn,
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but I'm an important person
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and I know a lot of
other important people.
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So, uh, Janet,
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if you could find it in
your heart to hook me up,
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I am a nervous flier,
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and I would just like a small
drink to settle me down.
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I don't need a glass.
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Just slip me a couple of miniature
JDs, we'll be golden.
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Thanks.
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Fucking trolley dollies.
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I'm sorry,
did you want one?
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No, I'm good.
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Just cheap bastards,
aren't they?
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Couldn't pony up for first
class, I mean, look at this.
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It's not the way it used to be.
The way they squeeze you in.
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Any prick in a suit
flies business.
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It's not like the old days,
you had to be someone.
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Is that your man?
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Yup.
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- You married?
- No.
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- Kids?
- Not yet.
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Still have time
for me then, huh?
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Wow.
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You don't like me,
do you?
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- What do you mean?
- Oh, come on.
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I've had warmer conversations
with my ex-wife,
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she's been dead
for 11 years.
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You just have to know how to handle
me, that's all.
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Now what do you do?
Do you draw straws?
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Excuse me?
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To see who gets stuck
with old Cal?
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Calvin, working with you
is always a pleasure.
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Oh!
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You should work
in PR.
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You know,
I'm not that bad.
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I mean, I've been with
Caroline almost 20 years.
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Okay. I like to, you know,
push a button or two
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and she sends me these
ditzy little posh girls
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who nod at me like
Indian carpet salesmen
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and have teeth
like refrigerator doors,
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but they've had
their whole lifetime
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you know,
having it easy.
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They deserve
a tough time.
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Once in a while,
don't they?
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I mean, if someone's gonna
let you push your luck,
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you push your luck,
you know what I mean?
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Yeah. I do.
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I mean, someone has to lie down in
order for you to walk all over 'em.
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Don't worry, Calvin.
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I won't be lying down.
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Well, that's a shame.
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So what's your story?
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Yeah, you didn't ride in from
Knightsbridge on your pony?
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No, I did not. Um...
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South African mom,
American dad,
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grew up in Philadelphia.
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I had an aunt
from Philadelphia.
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Tough broad.
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The kind of woman you'd send
in to break up a prison riot.
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Sounds like my kinda lady.
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You're a peach.
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Never let it be said
that being an asshole
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doesn't get you
what you want.
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No thanks.
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Oh, come on.
Don't abstain on my account.
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If I had to sit next to
me for an entire flight,
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I would take what I could get.
Do it.
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Mmm. Nostrovia.
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Oh, shit.
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Oh, God.
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What the hell, I hate...
I hate blocked numbers.
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They make me paranoid.
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I'm really sorry, sir,
you're gonna have to turn off the phone.
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It'll just be two seconds.
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- I'm afraid we're about to take off.
- Like I said, two seconds.
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Excuse me, sir,
is there a problem?
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Not that I'm aware of.
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I'd just like to answer my phone,
if that's all right with you.
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All mobile devices must be switched
to airplane mode for the duration.
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What's gonna happen?
We're sitting on the fucking tarmac.
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We can't exactly
fall out of the sky.
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They'll leave a message.
I'm sorry about that.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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this is your captain.
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There's a bit of congestion in front of
us, but we hope to be on our way.
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So how did a Philadelphia girl
end up in this game?
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I enjoy it.
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It makes the most
of my natural talents.
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Which are?
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Lying and drinking.
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Ran away to the big city,
seeking fortune and glory.
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Something like that.
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Why?
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- Why what?
- Why'd you run away?
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Do you care?
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Do I have to?
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Look,
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we're stuck together
for the next seven hours.
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We might as well
get to know each other.
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I'll go first.
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I was born in
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butthole nowhere...
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...to a half-Irish dad
who sold cutlery
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and hated his life.
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Mom bagged groceries,
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and just stayed
out of his way.
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I was always the...
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Smartass little punk.
Just...
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How I ended up
doing this.
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I started off in the
theater in New York.
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I loved it.
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The smell of it,
women.
196
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Mmm...
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00:08:02,223 --> 00:08:03,224
Makeup.
198
00:08:03,768 --> 00:08:05,837
Sweat, cigarettes.
199
00:08:07,027 --> 00:08:09,060
Women.
200
00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:11,195
I mean, I had no idea
what I was doing.
201
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:13,598
But it didn't matter.
202
00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:16,433
I... I grew a beard,
I started chain-smoking pot,
203
00:08:16,469 --> 00:08:20,069
and I just growled
my way through it.
204
00:08:20,105 --> 00:08:23,572
I mean, no craft in sight.
205
00:08:23,608 --> 00:08:26,174
And all the theater snobs
were up in arms
206
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:29,043
but everybody else,
207
00:08:29,079 --> 00:08:31,479
they just went
crazy for it.
208
00:08:31,515 --> 00:08:36,316
'Cause they were looking
for something real.
209
00:08:36,352 --> 00:08:38,619
You know? That...
That was the thing in those days.
210
00:08:38,655 --> 00:08:41,990
You had to be authentic.
211
00:08:42,658 --> 00:08:44,624
And these days,
212
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,692
character actors.
What, he's like...
213
00:08:46,728 --> 00:08:49,594
Just the fat friend
you know,
214
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,365
and wants to have sex with.
But back then,
215
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,201
front and center.
216
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:57,367
And the bigger asshole
you were,
217
00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,035
the more authentic
it was.
218
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,771
And if there is anything
that I do well,
219
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:04,139
it's... Be an asshole.
220
00:09:04,175 --> 00:09:05,741
I mean,
screw vocal warm-ups.
221
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:06,974
You wanna be
taken seriously?
222
00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:10,244
Spend your morning dropping
acid and banging hookers.
223
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,113
I mean, can you
imagine that these days,
224
00:09:12,149 --> 00:09:14,382
with these pretty
little pricks,
225
00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:17,083
with their... their arms,
and their...
226
00:09:17,119 --> 00:09:19,686
Their tights.
They're not allowed to eat any carbs,
227
00:09:19,722 --> 00:09:22,556
and are always terrified
they're gonna get in trouble.
228
00:09:22,592 --> 00:09:23,790
With people like me?
229
00:09:23,826 --> 00:09:26,425
You're the ones who get us out of
trouble, aren't you?
230
00:09:31,448 --> 00:09:32,513
Go ahead.
231
00:09:32,549 --> 00:09:35,151
- What?
- That wasn't free.
232
00:09:36,419 --> 00:09:38,452
Okay.
233
00:09:38,488 --> 00:09:39,689
Um...
234
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,555
My mom never worked.
235
00:09:42,591 --> 00:09:46,257
She was one of those women that
just got men to do things for her,
236
00:09:46,293 --> 00:09:47,592
if you know what I mean.
237
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:48,896
I know exactly
what you mean.
238
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,329
So after her and my dad
got married,
239
00:09:52,365 --> 00:09:53,797
she never had a job.
240
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,833
I mean, she tried
a couple of times,
241
00:09:55,869 --> 00:09:57,601
never lasted.
242
00:09:57,637 --> 00:09:59,469
So my dad had
to work his ass off
243
00:09:59,505 --> 00:10:01,437
to keep us going
whilst she did her thing,
244
00:10:01,473 --> 00:10:02,839
and everybody loved her.
245
00:10:02,875 --> 00:10:05,207
Except the people
who love her.
246
00:10:05,243 --> 00:10:06,875
- You still with me?
- You kidding me?
247
00:10:06,911 --> 00:10:09,478
It's gonna be
on my tombstone.
248
00:10:09,514 --> 00:10:11,813
So, as soon as I could,
I got myself this job
249
00:10:11,849 --> 00:10:13,280
at a deli counter,
250
00:10:13,316 --> 00:10:14,882
a few blocks up
from our house.
251
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,350
And I'm working with
this older woman one day,
252
00:10:17,386 --> 00:10:19,285
and I have a flashback.
253
00:10:19,321 --> 00:10:21,621
And suddenly,
I'm, like, five years old
254
00:10:21,657 --> 00:10:25,357
and I'm watching my mom buy
pickles off the same woman.
255
00:10:25,393 --> 00:10:28,961
And I knew it was her, 'cause she
had this weird growth on her eyelid,
256
00:10:28,997 --> 00:10:31,763
that looked like a Rice Krispy,
and my sister was scared of her
257
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,232
'cause she thought
she was a witch...
258
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,699
And it just suddenly
hit me
259
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:38,769
that this woman had
spent my entire life
260
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,904
selling pickles.
261
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,606
I'd gone through puberty,
lost my virginity,
262
00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:45,775
learnt to drive.
263
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,575
I got kicked out
of high school.
264
00:10:47,611 --> 00:10:49,978
And during this
entire time,
265
00:10:50,014 --> 00:10:52,750
she'd just been there
selling pickles.
266
00:10:53,650 --> 00:10:56,650
I mean, fuck me.
So I got on a bus.
267
00:10:56,686 --> 00:10:57,818
Good for you.
268
00:10:57,854 --> 00:11:00,586
I met Caroline when I was
waitressing at a function.
269
00:11:00,622 --> 00:11:02,324
She was running
the New York office.
270
00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,323
She was looking
after a client,
271
00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:06,558
he got a bit greedy
with the champagne
272
00:11:06,594 --> 00:11:09,528
and decided to go for a swim
in the chocolate fountain.
273
00:11:09,564 --> 00:11:11,930
I helped sneak him
out of the service entrance.
274
00:11:11,966 --> 00:11:13,998
A week later,
I showed up at her office,
275
00:11:14,034 --> 00:11:15,966
and asked for a job.
276
00:11:16,002 --> 00:11:18,568
She let me make coffee for a month.
For free.
277
00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:22,505
I admire that. That's...
That's... The little hustle.
278
00:11:22,541 --> 00:11:23,807
It's a dying art
these days.
279
00:11:23,843 --> 00:11:25,974
Caroline moved back
to the London office,
280
00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:28,276
and asked if I wanted
to come.
281
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,278
My sister was
already there, so...
282
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,015
Nothing to keep you
in New York?
283
00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:35,384
Nothing.
284
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,352
See, told you they'd leave a message.
285
00:11:40,388 --> 00:11:42,722
Ladies and gentlemen,
we do apologize for the delay.
286
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,757
There's just been a bit of
congestion on the runway,
287
00:11:44,793 --> 00:11:46,926
but we'll be in the air
very shortly.
288
00:11:46,962 --> 00:11:48,727
- Two seconds.
- Oh!
289
00:11:48,763 --> 00:11:50,029
Jesus!
290
00:11:50,065 --> 00:11:51,465
Two seconds.
291
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,667
Oh. Kidding me?
292
00:11:54,703 --> 00:11:55,703
Ladies and gentlemen,
293
00:11:55,739 --> 00:11:57,359
we are currently
next in line for takeoff,
294
00:11:57,395 --> 00:11:58,487
and should be airborne in...
295
00:11:58,523 --> 00:12:00,146
Daddy, I don't like it.
296
00:12:00,182 --> 00:12:02,265
Oh, come on, darling,
don't be silly.
297
00:12:02,301 --> 00:12:03,633
I'm scared.
298
00:12:03,669 --> 00:12:05,605
But there's nothing
to be scared of.
299
00:12:08,065 --> 00:12:09,499
Is this your first time
on a plane?
300
00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:12,299
How exciting.
301
00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:15,168
You, know, the best bit is takeoff.
It's like a roller coaster.
302
00:12:15,204 --> 00:12:16,201
What's your name?
303
00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:17,570
- Penny.
- Penny.
304
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,205
That's a cute name.
I used to have a cat called Penny,
305
00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:22,206
and you look
a little bit like her.
306
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,208
And who is that?
307
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,610
Daisy.
308
00:12:25,646 --> 00:12:27,778
Well, I'm Robyn.
Now, can I tell you a secret?
309
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,579
Can you lean in
so Daddy can't hear?
310
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:31,548
Okay, so,
your dad told me
311
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,950
that he's actually way more
scared than he makes out,
312
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:37,286
so you need to be really,
really brave to keep him distracted,
313
00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:39,421
so he's not too scared. Okay?
314
00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:41,957
Just sing songs,
make silly faces,
315
00:12:41,993 --> 00:12:44,258
tell jokes,
anything you can think of,
316
00:12:44,294 --> 00:12:46,193
just to make sure
he's all right, okay?
317
00:12:46,229 --> 00:12:48,462
And if you can do that,
I promise everything will be...
318
00:12:48,498 --> 00:12:50,430
Sir.
319
00:12:50,466 --> 00:12:52,434
I'm gonna need you
to return to your seat.
320
00:12:52,802 --> 00:12:53,967
Sir?
321
00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:55,303
...all right.
322
00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:58,471
Thank you.
323
00:12:58,507 --> 00:12:59,640
Sir.
324
00:13:02,435 --> 00:13:04,166
Madam,
the seat belt sign is on.
325
00:13:04,202 --> 00:13:05,469
I'm with him. Cal?
326
00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:06,778
Ma'am, this is
under control.
327
00:13:06,814 --> 00:13:07,878
He's a nervous flyer.
328
00:13:07,914 --> 00:13:09,213
You need to return
to your seat.
329
00:13:09,249 --> 00:13:10,447
I'm trying to help.
330
00:13:10,483 --> 00:13:11,615
Sir, please open the door.
331
00:13:11,651 --> 00:13:12,783
- Calvin.
- Robyn?
332
00:13:12,819 --> 00:13:14,584
- What?
- I'll be... Holy shit.
333
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:15,885
I thought it was you.
334
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,355
It's... It's Jamie.
335
00:13:17,723 --> 00:13:18,755
Jamie?
336
00:13:18,791 --> 00:13:20,622
This is crazy.
337
00:13:20,658 --> 00:13:22,391
I was just thinking about
you guys the other day.
338
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,425
- Madam.
- Oh, my God. This is...
339
00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:27,361
He went out with my sister in high
school for, what, like two years?
340
00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:29,362
- Almost three.
- Okay.
341
00:13:29,398 --> 00:13:31,298
But I'm gonna need you
to return to your seat.
342
00:13:31,334 --> 00:13:32,799
- Sir.
- Calvin.
343
00:13:32,835 --> 00:13:34,303
Business class. Wow.
344
00:13:34,904 --> 00:13:36,368
That's... No, nice.
Way to go.
345
00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:38,137
- Madam.
- Please stop calling me "Madam."
346
00:13:38,173 --> 00:13:39,371
I'm not a French
brothel owner.
347
00:13:39,407 --> 00:13:40,439
- Sir.
- Sir,
348
00:13:40,475 --> 00:13:42,741
we cannot take off
without you in your seat.
349
00:13:42,777 --> 00:13:44,776
- Great to see you doing so well for yourself.
- Thanks.
350
00:13:44,812 --> 00:13:45,877
- Sir.
- Madam.
351
00:13:45,913 --> 00:13:47,144
Calvin!
352
00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:48,414
Thank you.
353
00:13:50,967 --> 00:13:53,365
Is that...
Is that Calvin Cooper?
354
00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:55,068
Uh... It was great
seeing you.
355
00:13:55,104 --> 00:13:56,972
- We should have a drink...
- Yeah. Great to see you.
356
00:14:00,287 --> 00:14:02,074
What was that about?
357
00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:03,656
You better have
volcanic diarrhea
358
00:14:03,692 --> 00:14:05,461
'cause if I find out you
were doing coke in there...
359
00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:09,355
Hey, Cal.
360
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:12,192
Cabin crew,
please be seated for takeoff.
361
00:14:12,861 --> 00:14:14,425
- I need...
- No!
362
00:14:14,461 --> 00:14:17,296
We're taking off.
Sit down. Sit down!
363
00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:19,497
He doesn't
like flying either.
364
00:14:20,475 --> 00:14:21,673
I don't know
what's going on with you
365
00:14:21,709 --> 00:14:22,741
but you need
to fold your neck in
366
00:14:22,777 --> 00:14:24,576
or they're gonna throw us
off the goddamn plane.
367
00:14:24,612 --> 00:14:26,577
I think something bad
might have happened.
368
00:14:26,613 --> 00:14:28,713
Christ. What now?
We haven't even taken off yet.
369
00:14:28,749 --> 00:14:32,850
The, uh, voicemail. It was...
It was the police.
370
00:14:32,886 --> 00:14:33,850
Okay.
371
00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:37,319
And they told me to call
them back immediately.
372
00:14:37,355 --> 00:14:38,788
They... They said
it was urgent.
373
00:14:38,824 --> 00:14:41,058
- Well, I'm sure it's...
- Damn it.
374
00:14:42,293 --> 00:14:44,125
That stupid Latvian bitch.
375
00:14:44,161 --> 00:14:45,693
What are you
talking about?
376
00:14:45,729 --> 00:14:49,664
Uh, the... My cleaning woman, yesterday,
she dropped my laptop in the sink.
377
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,865
- So?
- So, I wasn't there.
378
00:14:51,901 --> 00:14:54,100
And she panicked 'cause she
couldn't get it to start,
379
00:14:54,136 --> 00:14:56,202
so she took it
to the computer repair place.
380
00:14:56,238 --> 00:14:59,372
- And?
- Damn it. I should have told her to just march back in there
381
00:14:59,408 --> 00:15:01,139
and... and get it back.
382
00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:03,311
But that... How's that
gonna look? You know.
383
00:15:06,246 --> 00:15:07,478
What are you telling me?
384
00:15:07,514 --> 00:15:08,780
I'm just...
I'm saying...
385
00:15:08,816 --> 00:15:12,248
You... You know what it's like
at the moment for people like me?
386
00:15:12,284 --> 00:15:13,693
It's a fuckin' witch-hunt.
387
00:15:15,921 --> 00:15:17,453
It's only a computer, Calvin.
388
00:15:17,489 --> 00:15:20,907
No, nothing. It's, you know...
It's... I... I didn't put it there.
389
00:15:20,943 --> 00:15:23,308
Tell me now.
Exactly, please.
390
00:15:23,344 --> 00:15:24,476
- Pictures.
- What sort of pictures?
391
00:15:24,512 --> 00:15:25,409
Not good ones.
392
00:15:25,445 --> 00:15:27,511
- How not good?
- Really not good ones, Robyn.
393
00:15:27,547 --> 00:15:30,484
Christ. About as not good as
you can fucking get. All right?
394
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,950
Okay, fine. It's going to be fine.
We can deal with this.
395
00:16:41,986 --> 00:16:44,685
Deal with it?
How are we gonna fucking deal with it?
396
00:16:44,721 --> 00:16:48,156
Research. It's research
for a role.
397
00:16:48,192 --> 00:16:50,358
It's a part in a film and
you've been researching it,
398
00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:53,096
trying to get under the skin of
the character to understand it.
399
00:16:54,696 --> 00:16:58,931
- Okay.
- So, we need a film, a role and a story.
400
00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:03,201
We land in six
and a half hours.
401
00:17:03,237 --> 00:17:06,637
If the police know,
that means people in the show know,
402
00:17:06,673 --> 00:17:08,038
and if the people
in the show know,
403
00:17:08,074 --> 00:17:11,250
likelihood is, by now,
one of our friends in the media will know.
404
00:17:11,286 --> 00:17:13,981
- Oh, God.
- So, we need our story tightly bound,
405
00:17:14,017 --> 00:17:17,130
laminated and carved into fucking
stone tablets, ready to present
406
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,801
for the moment we land
and your phone starts ringing.
407
00:17:20,911 --> 00:17:22,509
- How long have they been there?
- What?
408
00:17:22,545 --> 00:17:23,546
The pictures.
409
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:27,880
- I don't know.
- Come on, Cal, a month? A year?
410
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:31,050
Yeah, it's a new computer.
It's probably eight, nine months.
411
00:17:31,086 --> 00:17:33,254
Okay, good,
that's good.
412
00:17:33,855 --> 00:17:35,974
- Do you trust your agent?
- Mickey?
413
00:17:36,048 --> 00:17:39,748
To the extent that he'd lie for
you, in court if necessary.
414
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:40,955
I don't know. Maybe.
415
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:42,827
Okay, is he married? Kids?
416
00:17:42,863 --> 00:17:44,260
- Three.
- Great.
417
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:47,363
Do you know any stories that will
bring a swift and expensive end
418
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,631
to that happy union?
419
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,432
I'd say I know a few.
420
00:17:50,468 --> 00:17:52,604
Fine. I'm sure
we can rely on his help.
421
00:17:53,316 --> 00:17:56,004
Sit here.
Don't fuck anything else up.
422
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,041
What are you gonna do?
423
00:17:57,875 --> 00:17:58,942
My job.
424
00:18:00,587 --> 00:18:03,186
Excuse me, um, I need to make
a couple of phone calls?
425
00:18:03,222 --> 00:18:06,012
You can access the onboard
WiFi to iMessage and email.
426
00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:09,352
But, I'm afraid for the comfort of our other
passengers, we do not allow voice calls
427
00:18:09,426 --> 00:18:10,691
- during the flight.
- Right.
428
00:18:10,727 --> 00:18:11,926
Um, it's kind of important.
429
00:18:11,962 --> 00:18:13,159
I'm sorry, madam.
430
00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:15,590
- Is there a passenger phone or...
- I'm afraid not, madam.
431
00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:18,632
A survey in 2014 indicated that
our customers didn't actually want
432
00:18:18,668 --> 00:18:20,232
the ability to use their
phones during the flight
433
00:18:20,268 --> 00:18:21,781
as they enjoyed
the sanctuary of quiet.
434
00:18:21,837 --> 00:18:24,305
Right, got it. No phones.
Thank you.
435
00:18:26,656 --> 00:18:27,757
I need your credit card.
436
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,625
- Why?
- To access the onboard Wifi.
437
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:32,528
You have any idea
how much they charge for that?
438
00:18:35,765 --> 00:18:38,100
I'm just saying.
439
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,769
Take it. Take it all.
440
00:18:45,006 --> 00:18:46,107
Thanks.
441
00:18:54,848 --> 00:18:56,780
Robyn, God,
thanks for phoning.
442
00:18:56,816 --> 00:18:58,381
I'm not calling
to talk about anything.
443
00:18:58,417 --> 00:19:00,516
- No, wait...
- Mark, forget it.
444
00:19:00,552 --> 00:19:01,717
I don't have time
to talk about it,
445
00:19:01,753 --> 00:19:03,385
I don't want
to talk about it.
446
00:19:03,421 --> 00:19:05,387
I just need you to answer
some questions, okay?
447
00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:08,056
- Is there any way of back-dating an email?
- What?
448
00:19:08,092 --> 00:19:10,691
Say I needed to make an email
look like it was sent months ago,
449
00:19:10,727 --> 00:19:12,526
- is there any way to do it?
- What's it for?
450
00:19:12,562 --> 00:19:13,627
Does it matter?
451
00:19:13,663 --> 00:19:14,862
I don't know.
It sounds kind of dodgy.
452
00:19:14,898 --> 00:19:16,462
Mark, just answer the question.
453
00:19:16,498 --> 00:19:18,598
Okay, okay, relax.
Um, just let me think.
454
00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:22,135
Okay, I mean,
maybe if you changed
455
00:19:22,171 --> 00:19:24,136
the local clock
on the computer
456
00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:26,104
and then cleared the cache
so that the email was fresh
457
00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,840
then maybe
when you send the message
458
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,841
it would show up
in your sent folder
459
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,676
with the amended
time and date. But really...
460
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,110
Clock, cache, okay.
461
00:19:33,146 --> 00:19:34,945
No, no, Robyn.
Just wait. We should...
462
00:19:34,981 --> 00:19:36,479
- No, we shouldn't.
- Robyn.
463
00:19:36,515 --> 00:19:38,547
Look, you may not need
to talk about this,
464
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:40,416
or want to listen to me,
and that's fine, okay?
465
00:19:40,452 --> 00:19:41,851
But I do, so just...
466
00:19:41,887 --> 00:19:44,155
The other night,
I was so drunk.
467
00:19:45,339 --> 00:19:47,439
And my head was...
468
00:19:47,475 --> 00:19:50,675
- Mark?
- I love your sister so bloody much
469
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,844
- and I'm just sorry...
- Have you spoken to her?
470
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,712
She won't return my messages.
471
00:19:54,748 --> 00:19:58,481
I mean, she's really pissed
but you two will be fine.
472
00:19:58,517 --> 00:20:01,520
- And you always are, right? Okay.
- I gotta go.
473
00:20:10,393 --> 00:20:11,325
Hey, can you talk?
474
00:20:11,361 --> 00:20:13,086
I got to be quick.
I'm on a plane with Calvin.
475
00:20:13,122 --> 00:20:15,361
Oh, shit, I forgot you were
given the suicide shift.
476
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:17,998
- How's it going?
- I've broken through to a whole new circle of hell.
477
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:19,401
I really need help.
478
00:20:19,869 --> 00:20:20,834
What can I do?
479
00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:22,969
I need a writer,
someone we've got something on,
480
00:20:23,005 --> 00:20:25,771
something heavy,
like black bin bag stuff.
481
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,305
Anyone who will go
on record to say
482
00:20:27,341 --> 00:20:29,510
they've been talking to Calvin
about a project.
483
00:20:30,611 --> 00:20:32,310
What project?
484
00:20:32,346 --> 00:20:35,882
- The one he's been recently researching online.
- Oh, Lord.
485
00:20:37,383 --> 00:20:39,315
How thorough
is his research?
486
00:20:39,351 --> 00:20:41,484
I get the horrible feeling
it's been pretty thorough.
487
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,520
Christ. I just don't
understand it.
488
00:20:44,556 --> 00:20:45,688
All these old dudes.
489
00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:47,522
I mean, how do they
even find this stuff?
490
00:20:47,558 --> 00:20:49,023
I've seen my dad try
and use the computer.
491
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:50,658
He just sits there,
hitting the track pad
492
00:20:50,694 --> 00:20:53,393
with his doughy paw like one
of the monkeys from 2001.
493
00:20:53,429 --> 00:20:54,928
Madam, please open the door.
494
00:20:54,964 --> 00:20:56,396
Just a sec.
I got to go.
495
00:20:56,432 --> 00:20:59,002
Okay. Leave it with me.
496
00:21:03,599 --> 00:21:05,233
Were you using
a mobile phone?
497
00:21:05,951 --> 00:21:07,949
No, I was having a pee.
498
00:21:07,985 --> 00:21:10,755
- Madam, I could hear you talking.
- I talk to myself while I pee.
499
00:21:11,422 --> 00:21:13,224
It helps
get things moving.
500
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,091
I have a shy bladder.
501
00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:17,246
Well, just for
your information,
502
00:21:17,282 --> 00:21:19,049
toilets are not to be used
for making phone calls.
503
00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:21,453
Anyone caught doing so will
have their phone confiscated
504
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,954
and could face
criminal charges.
505
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:23,991
Understood.
506
00:21:28,027 --> 00:21:29,028
Give me your phone.
507
00:21:30,263 --> 00:21:32,690
- What?
- Your phone?
508
00:21:32,739 --> 00:21:34,705
Well, I'll put my number in
and then you can decide
509
00:21:34,741 --> 00:21:37,641
whether or not you want to get in
contact with a low-life like me,
510
00:21:37,677 --> 00:21:40,582
now you're all fancy
and business-class.
511
00:21:40,618 --> 00:21:42,112
Shut up.
512
00:21:42,148 --> 00:21:44,660
- I looked for you on Facebook.
- I'm not on Facebook.
513
00:21:44,696 --> 00:21:46,483
See? That's fancy.
514
00:21:46,519 --> 00:21:48,050
Okay, enough.
Enough.
515
00:21:48,086 --> 00:21:50,222
Look, I'm emailing you
right now.
516
00:21:51,021 --> 00:21:52,388
Done. Boom.
517
00:21:52,424 --> 00:21:54,191
Hey, so how is Ruth?
518
00:21:54,905 --> 00:21:56,306
She's... She's great.
519
00:21:57,561 --> 00:21:58,959
- Yeah?
- Yeah, she's good.
520
00:21:58,995 --> 00:22:00,163
Is she with anyone?
521
00:22:01,064 --> 00:22:03,030
Uh, married.
Kids, two of 'em.
522
00:22:03,066 --> 00:22:04,166
Insane.
523
00:22:05,267 --> 00:22:06,499
I just got engaged.
524
00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:09,135
- Like, three weeks ago.
- Congratulations.
525
00:22:09,171 --> 00:22:10,405
To Pamela Stevens.
526
00:22:11,072 --> 00:22:13,138
Fuck off.
Puffy Pam?
527
00:22:13,174 --> 00:22:14,372
Puffy Pam.
528
00:22:14,408 --> 00:22:16,941
- Fuck off.
- Seriously.
529
00:22:16,977 --> 00:22:19,343
Puffy Pam's
not so puffy anymore.
530
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:21,481
Plus, we got one of these.
531
00:22:22,147 --> 00:22:23,112
Little Dino.
532
00:22:23,148 --> 00:22:25,181
- Now, he is puffy.
- Yeah, he is kind of puffy.
533
00:22:25,217 --> 00:22:27,450
Right, he gets that
from his mom.
534
00:22:27,486 --> 00:22:30,052
- Here's one of them together.
- Damn.
535
00:22:30,088 --> 00:22:33,088
- Puffy Pam got hot.
- Yeah, Puffy Pam got hot.
536
00:22:33,124 --> 00:22:34,356
That's awesome.
537
00:22:34,392 --> 00:22:35,393
How about you?
538
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:37,892
Uh, yeah, I'm with someone.
539
00:22:37,928 --> 00:22:38,928
Kids?
540
00:22:40,096 --> 00:22:42,262
Not yet.
541
00:22:42,298 --> 00:22:45,031
Hey, look, don't get me wrong,
I mean, I love the little guy.
542
00:22:45,067 --> 00:22:46,999
But, seriously,
my one piece of advice
543
00:22:47,035 --> 00:22:48,867
is, like, hold off
for as long as you can
544
00:22:48,903 --> 00:22:50,171
'cause once
those guys turn up...
545
00:22:51,406 --> 00:22:52,971
It's over.
546
00:22:53,007 --> 00:22:55,406
I mean, this is, like,
a three-day business trip for me
547
00:22:55,442 --> 00:22:57,874
and I have never been so
excited by an empty hotel room
548
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,013
with 24-hour room service
in my life.
549
00:23:01,347 --> 00:23:02,546
♪ Rock n' roll
550
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:08,886
Hey, listen, I heard about
what happened with your mom.
551
00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:11,186
I'm sorry.
552
00:23:11,222 --> 00:23:13,555
- Thanks.
- It must have been tough on you guys.
553
00:23:13,591 --> 00:23:15,090
I mean,
I loved your mom,
554
00:23:15,126 --> 00:23:18,828
it's just... I know
how Ruth found it...
555
00:23:20,063 --> 00:23:21,328
You both had
a lot to deal with.
556
00:23:21,364 --> 00:23:22,663
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
557
00:23:22,699 --> 00:23:25,498
Um, look, I've got a lot of work
I need to get on with, so...
558
00:23:25,534 --> 00:23:27,933
Yeah, I mean, you don't
get to fly business-class
559
00:23:27,969 --> 00:23:30,035
sitting on your ass
like me, so...
560
00:23:30,071 --> 00:23:31,072
Yeah.
561
00:23:38,312 --> 00:23:39,472
Okay, got it.
562
00:23:39,508 --> 00:23:42,546
Andrew McCormack, we helped him
cover up three illegitimate children.
563
00:23:42,582 --> 00:23:43,880
Three?
564
00:23:43,916 --> 00:23:46,349
Philandering, Catholicism
do not happy bed fellows make.
565
00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:47,608
His wife doesn't
even know about it
566
00:23:47,644 --> 00:23:49,193
so he'll be pretty
amenable, I'm sure.
567
00:23:49,229 --> 00:23:50,361
You're a star.
568
00:23:50,397 --> 00:23:52,271
I need a treatment,
couple of pages,
569
00:23:52,307 --> 00:23:54,305
story about a sex offender
in his '50s.
570
00:23:54,341 --> 00:23:55,406
If anyone asks,
571
00:23:55,442 --> 00:23:57,074
it's a project that Cal's
been discussing with him
572
00:23:57,110 --> 00:23:58,643
for longer than nine months.
573
00:23:58,679 --> 00:24:00,010
Nine months. Got it.
574
00:24:00,046 --> 00:24:01,178
And I need this
in two hours.
575
00:24:01,214 --> 00:24:02,215
Is that doable?
576
00:24:03,249 --> 00:24:04,581
I'll be persuasive.
577
00:24:04,617 --> 00:24:05,649
Tight ring
around this one.
578
00:24:05,685 --> 00:24:06,949
For my eyes only.
579
00:24:06,985 --> 00:24:08,617
I'll be the model of discretion.
580
00:24:08,653 --> 00:24:09,754
- Crap.
- What?
581
00:24:10,489 --> 00:24:12,187
- I'm on the toilet.
- What?
582
00:24:13,290 --> 00:24:14,322
Madame, if you don't
open the door,
583
00:24:14,358 --> 00:24:16,056
I'll be forced
to take action.
584
00:24:16,092 --> 00:24:18,125
I may be incommunicado
for a little while.
585
00:24:18,161 --> 00:24:20,024
Needless to say,
no paper trail.
586
00:24:20,630 --> 00:24:22,529
You know this
is highly illegal, right?
587
00:24:22,565 --> 00:24:24,542
- Yup.
- Just checking.
588
00:24:29,771 --> 00:24:31,503
Please return to your seat.
589
00:24:31,539 --> 00:24:32,573
Of course.
590
00:24:38,745 --> 00:24:39,746
Sorry.
591
00:24:52,967 --> 00:24:55,691
- Hey.
- Hey, long time no see.
592
00:24:55,727 --> 00:24:58,459
Hey, check this out.
I was looking through some old photos...
593
00:24:58,495 --> 00:25:00,260
Could I borrow
your laptop for a minute?
594
00:25:00,296 --> 00:25:01,595
Oh, uh, sure.
595
00:25:01,631 --> 00:25:03,597
I need to send some
really urgent emails,
596
00:25:03,633 --> 00:25:06,600
and I just had
my phone confiscated.
597
00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:08,400
You just had
your phone confiscated?
598
00:25:08,436 --> 00:25:09,468
I...
I won't be long.
599
00:25:09,504 --> 00:25:10,970
Uh, yeah. Of course.
600
00:25:11,006 --> 00:25:13,806
Oh, you're amazing. I will bring it
right back. All right, take your time.
601
00:25:13,842 --> 00:25:14,940
Oh, no. Wait, wait.
602
00:25:14,976 --> 00:25:16,710
No, I just gotta...
I'm just gonna show you this.
603
00:25:22,123 --> 00:25:23,489
God, is that really us?
604
00:25:23,525 --> 00:25:25,593
- Yeah.
- Roo looks like a baby.
605
00:25:28,729 --> 00:25:29,730
What happened?
606
00:25:30,263 --> 00:25:31,596
Oh, we got old.
607
00:25:31,632 --> 00:25:32,496
At least I did.
608
00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:34,271
I mean, you barely look
any different.
609
00:25:34,307 --> 00:25:36,198
- Please.
- Excuse me.
610
00:25:36,234 --> 00:25:37,701
- Oh, I should... I should...
- Yeah, right.
611
00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:39,506
- Go, go, go.
- Thank you.
612
00:25:48,502 --> 00:25:49,503
Oh, God.
613
00:25:51,448 --> 00:25:53,146
Hi.
Hello.
614
00:25:53,182 --> 00:25:56,350
Um, I don't suppose you saw
where my friend Calvin went?
615
00:25:56,386 --> 00:25:59,121
Um, I think he went to
the bathroom or something.
616
00:26:00,030 --> 00:26:02,266
You know, earlier,
what he said...
617
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,699
He doesn't really
want me to...
618
00:26:04,735 --> 00:26:06,336
No, no.
He was just kidding.
619
00:26:08,471 --> 00:26:09,672
Can I still get
a picture though?
620
00:26:15,677 --> 00:26:16,975
Can I have privacy?
621
00:26:17,011 --> 00:26:19,110
Right. Call security.
622
00:26:19,146 --> 00:26:20,512
Come on, move it.
623
00:26:20,548 --> 00:26:22,798
Don't call security.
Are you some kind of plane Nazi?
624
00:26:22,834 --> 00:26:24,589
- Take it easy!
- You're smoking a cigarette, Sir.
625
00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:26,586
Hey, stop! Please.
626
00:26:27,487 --> 00:26:29,420
Of course it's you.
Right.
627
00:26:29,456 --> 00:26:31,655
This is the last straw.
I'll be reporting both of you.
628
00:26:31,691 --> 00:26:33,589
Okay, everyone
just stay calm.
629
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:35,525
Oh, don't tell me
to stay calm.
630
00:26:35,561 --> 00:26:37,962
Calvin, put the cigarette out
and get back to your seat.
631
00:26:38,429 --> 00:26:39,528
I'm...
I'm nervous,
632
00:26:39,564 --> 00:26:41,730
and this...
This calms me down.
633
00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,568
Do it now, or so help me
God, I will end you.
634
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:54,010
I need you to return
to your seat, madam.
635
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,771
Your behavior will be
reported to the authorities,
636
00:26:55,807 --> 00:26:57,376
and you can explain it
to them when we land.
637
00:26:57,412 --> 00:26:59,077
Can we just have
a quick chat in private?
638
00:26:59,113 --> 00:27:01,380
I have no interest in...
639
00:27:01,416 --> 00:27:04,015
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
take your hands off me!
640
00:27:04,051 --> 00:27:07,083
Okay, Pan Am, listen hard,
'cause I'm going to talk really quickly.
641
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:08,519
You're gonna climb
outta my ass,
642
00:27:08,555 --> 00:27:12,289
and you're not gonna report or even
mention any of this to anyone, ever.
643
00:27:12,325 --> 00:27:14,524
No authorities
and certainly no press.
644
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,393
And the reason you're not gonna
do this is because if you do,
645
00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:18,960
I will own you.
646
00:27:18,996 --> 00:27:22,130
By the end of the week, there will
be a headline on page 3 of The Sun
647
00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:24,632
in big block capitals with
your face splashed all over.
648
00:27:24,668 --> 00:27:27,601
Now that headline might be
"Flying high",
649
00:27:27,637 --> 00:27:29,536
"Flight attendant
accused of drug abuse"...
650
00:27:29,572 --> 00:27:33,306
It might be "Right-wing flight
attendant accused of racist outburst."
651
00:27:33,342 --> 00:27:34,842
Who knows,
it could even be
652
00:27:34,878 --> 00:27:38,310
"Roger the cabin boy. Flight attendant
accused of buggering passengers".
653
00:27:38,346 --> 00:27:40,312
That will depend on which
one of your close friends
654
00:27:40,348 --> 00:27:42,380
decides to fuck you over first
for better cash
655
00:27:42,416 --> 00:27:44,381
and what type of dirt
I dig up on you.
656
00:27:44,417 --> 00:27:48,252
And believe me, there is dirt.
There's always dirt.
657
00:27:48,288 --> 00:27:50,621
Whether I need a black light
and UV goggles to find it.
658
00:27:50,657 --> 00:27:52,088
And guess what,
if there isn't any,
659
00:27:52,124 --> 00:27:53,623
and you really are
Mother Teresa,
660
00:27:53,659 --> 00:27:55,092
then I'll just
make something up.
661
00:27:55,128 --> 00:27:58,795
Because nobody gives two cold
craps about proof these days,
662
00:27:58,831 --> 00:28:00,762
that's why stories play
on the front page
663
00:28:00,798 --> 00:28:04,499
and apologies and retractions
languish at the bottom of page 27.
664
00:28:04,535 --> 00:28:06,136
Do we have
an understanding?
665
00:28:07,504 --> 00:28:09,536
Are you
trying to blackmail me?
666
00:28:09,572 --> 00:28:11,771
I'm not trying anything.
667
00:28:11,807 --> 00:28:15,241
The word "try" implies that there
is some latitude in the outcome.
668
00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:17,579
I am warning you.
669
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,245
Stay out of my way
670
00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:21,783
and I'll stay out
of yours.
671
00:28:22,817 --> 00:28:25,383
Now, seeing as how you
confiscated my phones,
672
00:28:25,419 --> 00:28:27,420
is there somewhere
I can make a call?
673
00:28:33,158 --> 00:28:34,560
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
674
00:28:37,429 --> 00:28:39,214
Oh, it's 9
for an outside line.
675
00:28:41,161 --> 00:28:42,161
Do you mind?
676
00:28:44,301 --> 00:28:45,435
Oh, sorry.
677
00:28:48,872 --> 00:28:49,906
- Hey!
- What?
678
00:28:49,942 --> 00:28:51,705
Sorry, I didn't mean...
679
00:28:51,741 --> 00:28:54,107
I heard you in here,
so I thought, um...
680
00:28:54,143 --> 00:28:56,876
I was gonna ask, you're with
Calvin Cooper, right?
681
00:28:56,912 --> 00:28:58,711
- What?
- You're traveling with him.
682
00:28:58,747 --> 00:29:01,616
- What's he like, nice guy?
- He's a cunt.
683
00:29:01,966 --> 00:29:03,871
Oh, right.
Yeah, I mean,
684
00:29:03,907 --> 00:29:07,194
he seems like a nice guy. You know,
you just get that vibe off some people.
685
00:29:07,248 --> 00:29:09,524
And is he a friend of yours?
686
00:29:09,563 --> 00:29:10,730
- A client.
- Client.
687
00:29:10,766 --> 00:29:12,230
Look at you. Fancy.
688
00:29:12,266 --> 00:29:14,633
Yeah, fancy.
I'm fancy now, Jamie.
689
00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:16,033
Is there something
you need?
690
00:29:16,069 --> 00:29:17,268
Uh...
691
00:29:17,304 --> 00:29:19,537
Do you think maybe you could
get me a little autograph?
692
00:29:19,573 --> 00:29:20,905
It's for Pam,
it's just...
693
00:29:20,941 --> 00:29:23,339
Yup, sure thing, is there something else?
Because I really need to...
694
00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:26,111
Oh, no, great.
Thanks. You go for it.
695
00:29:45,352 --> 00:29:46,818
Hi, Melody, it's me.
696
00:29:46,854 --> 00:29:49,520
Robyn.
Hi, how's the travel going?
697
00:29:49,556 --> 00:29:50,688
I need a story seeded.
698
00:29:50,724 --> 00:29:51,837
Right, sure, okay.
699
00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:53,984
Um, is there a particular journalist
you'd like me to contact, or...
700
00:29:54,020 --> 00:29:56,315
It's just a media
chatterpiece, so...
701
00:29:56,351 --> 00:29:58,561
Simon Penchant
at Metro would be good.
702
00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:01,363
But you can't go to him
directly, or he'll smell a rat.
703
00:30:01,399 --> 00:30:02,734
It's really delicate.
704
00:30:03,501 --> 00:30:04,933
He needs to
find it himself.
705
00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:06,567
If I remember correctly,
706
00:30:06,603 --> 00:30:08,669
he goes out with this
actress called Siobhan...
707
00:30:08,705 --> 00:30:09,770
Okay.
708
00:30:09,806 --> 00:30:11,571
She's in her
final year at Central,
709
00:30:11,607 --> 00:30:13,773
which means tonight,
she'll be drinking at the Swiss Pub
710
00:30:13,809 --> 00:30:16,442
'cause it's the only decent place
to get a drink within a mile radius.
711
00:30:16,478 --> 00:30:17,813
How do you know
she'll be drinking?
712
00:30:18,488 --> 00:30:20,321
Because she's an actor.
713
00:30:20,357 --> 00:30:23,089
Look, take some petty cash,
go to the Swiss,
714
00:30:23,125 --> 00:30:26,192
and sit near every
5'4" redhead you can find,
715
00:30:26,228 --> 00:30:27,727
talking loudly
about the fact
716
00:30:27,763 --> 00:30:30,429
that Calvin Cooper is going
to be playing a sex offender,
717
00:30:30,465 --> 00:30:32,498
in a new
Andrew McCormack film.
718
00:30:32,534 --> 00:30:35,667
Uh, Calvin Cooper,
and...
719
00:30:35,703 --> 00:30:37,368
- Are you writing this down?
- Yes.
720
00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:38,669
Don't write it down!
721
00:30:38,705 --> 00:30:40,139
Oh, okay. Sorry.
722
00:30:40,707 --> 00:30:42,339
- You got it?
- Yeah, um...
723
00:30:42,375 --> 00:30:43,740
How do you know
it's gonna work?
724
00:30:43,776 --> 00:30:47,142
Melody, if you want gossip spread,
tell it to a bunch of actors.
725
00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:48,410
Gotcha.
726
00:30:48,446 --> 00:30:50,312
Okay, I know
this is gonna sound weird,
727
00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:52,414
'cause we haven't seen each other
in, like, a hundred years.
728
00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:53,682
I'm in the middle
of something.
729
00:30:53,718 --> 00:30:55,583
Yeah, I know, okay. Right.
But what I was gonna say is,
730
00:30:55,619 --> 00:30:56,885
seeing as you're in town,
731
00:30:56,921 --> 00:31:00,454
Pam and I are having some
engagement drinks tomorrow night.
732
00:31:00,490 --> 00:31:02,155
It's like an hour
outta town,
733
00:31:02,191 --> 00:31:03,657
and you can stay with us,
734
00:31:03,693 --> 00:31:05,324
- there'll be a whole bunch of people from high school there.
- Robyn?
735
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,496
Jamie! This is
really important.
736
00:31:08,239 --> 00:31:12,130
Okay, I'm just
kind of important, too,
737
00:31:12,166 --> 00:31:13,732
uh, to me, anyway.
738
00:31:13,768 --> 00:31:15,700
Uh, it doesn't matter.
739
00:31:15,736 --> 00:31:17,402
No, it's cool.
It's cool. It's cool.
740
00:31:17,438 --> 00:31:20,704
If you could just drop my
laptop off when you're done,
741
00:31:20,740 --> 00:31:23,108
I need to finish
this report before I land.
742
00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:33,659
Robyn?
743
00:31:35,327 --> 00:31:36,528
Yup, I'm here.
744
00:31:37,654 --> 00:31:40,721
Call Eve, tell her
I need that e-mail ASAP.
745
00:31:40,757 --> 00:31:42,322
And just to give you
a heads up,
746
00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:43,891
it might get a bit
hectic for a few days,
747
00:31:43,927 --> 00:31:45,225
so you might wanna
make some space.
748
00:31:45,261 --> 00:31:46,591
Right, will do.
749
00:31:46,638 --> 00:31:48,394
- Robyn...
- Yeah?
750
00:31:48,430 --> 00:31:49,564
Are you okay?
751
00:31:50,306 --> 00:31:52,174
- What?
- Are you all right?
752
00:31:52,628 --> 00:31:55,193
You sound strange.
753
00:31:55,269 --> 00:31:56,337
I'm fine.
754
00:31:57,204 --> 00:31:58,372
It's gonna be fine.
755
00:32:06,906 --> 00:32:07,961
Ladies and gentlemen.
756
00:32:07,997 --> 00:32:10,960
As you have noticed, the captain
has turned on the seat belt sign,
757
00:32:10,996 --> 00:32:13,442
as we will shortly be beginning
our descent
758
00:32:13,478 --> 00:32:15,864
Please make sure your seat
belt is securely fastened,
759
00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:17,963
and seat backs and tray tables are
in their full upright position.
760
00:32:17,999 --> 00:32:23,052
Did you know that
planes are legally obliged
761
00:32:23,945 --> 00:32:26,545
to have ashtrays in the toilets
762
00:32:26,581 --> 00:32:29,583
even though you haven't been allowed
to smoke in them since the '80s.
763
00:32:31,894 --> 00:32:34,977
It's 'cause in 1973,
764
00:32:35,014 --> 00:32:39,602
some guy left a cigarette
in a bin and it caught on fire.
765
00:32:39,638 --> 00:32:43,820
The plane crashed.
Killed 123 people. So...
766
00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:47,129
Even though you're
not allowed to smoke,
767
00:32:47,165 --> 00:32:50,801
they still have ashtrays because
they know that people will.
768
00:32:52,689 --> 00:32:56,926
They legislate for it.
They facilitate it.
769
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,275
Such is the inevitability
of human weakness.
770
00:33:03,335 --> 00:33:06,785
This is your captain speaking.
We've begun our descent to JFK.
771
00:33:06,855 --> 00:33:09,042
And weather conditions are a
little rough over New York,
772
00:33:09,086 --> 00:33:11,986
so we may experience a few bumps en route.
773
00:33:12,053 --> 00:33:15,756
Uh, on behalf of myself and crew, I'd like
to thank you for traveling with us today.
774
00:33:17,870 --> 00:33:23,875
Ever get the feeling,
there's two people inside you?
775
00:33:26,628 --> 00:33:30,295
The normal
human being,
776
00:33:30,331 --> 00:33:33,222
who is supposed
to do things like...
777
00:33:34,615 --> 00:33:39,216
Chat, love people, care,
do Christmas...
778
00:33:39,292 --> 00:33:45,186
Be a part of, some kind of
society of other human beings.
779
00:33:46,799 --> 00:33:49,200
And then
there's this other thing.
780
00:33:51,335 --> 00:33:52,770
This goblin.
781
00:33:53,637 --> 00:33:55,505
It just kind of hovers behind.
782
00:33:57,374 --> 00:34:01,243
It doesn't understand,
doesn't care, just wants to...
783
00:34:04,613 --> 00:34:07,880
Destroy everything
and then it...
784
00:34:07,916 --> 00:34:10,983
The first guy covers
785
00:34:11,019 --> 00:34:15,019
and smiles and repairs,
786
00:34:15,055 --> 00:34:20,791
allowing the goblin to keep doing
the terrible things that he does.
787
00:34:20,827 --> 00:34:24,895
And over and over
and over again,
788
00:34:24,931 --> 00:34:28,898
the first guy helps the goblin
get away with it.
789
00:34:28,934 --> 00:34:33,223
And the goblin can't help it.
It's his nature.
790
00:34:33,259 --> 00:34:38,308
He actually wants it to stop but
the first guy won't let him...
791
00:34:38,942 --> 00:34:41,775
The nice guy, who smiles
and drinks tea
792
00:34:41,811 --> 00:34:45,140
and goes to birthday parties
and sings fucking karaoke.
793
00:34:45,204 --> 00:34:46,539
So maybe it's him.
794
00:34:48,817 --> 00:34:52,720
Not the goblin,
who's the real bad guy.
795
00:34:54,488 --> 00:34:57,390
I mean, maybe, he's the one
that needs to be stopped.
796
00:35:00,060 --> 00:35:03,326
You remember
everything we discussed?
797
00:35:03,362 --> 00:35:05,965
The order of information
you need to divulge?
798
00:35:07,032 --> 00:35:09,732
Don't be too specific,
not at first.
799
00:35:09,768 --> 00:35:12,768
- Stay calm. You're innocent.
- Hmm.
800
00:35:12,804 --> 00:35:16,636
It's a shock,
a simple horrifying misunderstanding.
801
00:35:17,775 --> 00:35:20,943
When we land, call your lawyer.
Get him to clear his diary.
802
00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:27,496
- That's it.
- What?
803
00:35:27,532 --> 00:35:31,399
I mean, that's it?
You have nothing else to say?
804
00:35:31,435 --> 00:35:32,597
Did I miss something?
805
00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:36,411
No, I just... I feel like you're
just sitting there and judging me.
806
00:35:36,481 --> 00:35:39,873
You know the really scary part,
Calvin, 'cause I'm not.
807
00:35:39,909 --> 00:35:44,857
I'm thinking about which chat show
hosts are most amenable to mea culpa.
808
00:35:44,928 --> 00:35:48,322
I'm thinking about what color suit
most reflects honesty and innocence.
809
00:35:48,358 --> 00:35:51,852
I'm thinking about ghostwriters and the fact
that I can already name three publishers
810
00:35:51,907 --> 00:35:56,293
who would offer you a shitload of
money to tell your side of the story.
811
00:35:56,357 --> 00:35:58,758
That's what I'm thinking
about, Calvin.
812
00:36:03,322 --> 00:36:07,255
Excuse me, hi.
Sorry to interrupt.
813
00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:08,809
Do you think
I can get my laptop back?
814
00:36:08,855 --> 00:36:12,467
It's just that it belongs to work
and I'll get in trouble if I...
815
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:14,943
- Of course.
- Thanks.
816
00:36:15,015 --> 00:36:18,084
It was really good seeing you, Robyn.
Pleased you're doing so well.
817
00:36:19,376 --> 00:36:20,809
Hope you're happy.
818
00:36:24,346 --> 00:36:25,314
I'm Jamie.
819
00:36:26,940 --> 00:36:29,941
Just a massive fan of your work,
man, seriously...
820
00:36:29,984 --> 00:36:34,687
Do you think I can get a quick
autograph for my fiance? Her name's Pam.
821
00:36:38,091 --> 00:36:40,558
Thank you, my man.
I really appreciate it.
822
00:36:40,594 --> 00:36:44,080
Sir, you're going to have to
return to your seat. We are about to land.
823
00:36:44,116 --> 00:36:45,495
- Please, sir.
- So sorry, dude.
824
00:36:45,531 --> 00:36:47,866
- Sir!
- Yup, leaving.
825
00:36:51,223 --> 00:36:52,757
Thanks. Give my love to Ruth.
826
00:36:55,461 --> 00:36:58,997
- Your pen?
- Uh, keep it. Souvenir.
827
00:37:05,913 --> 00:37:07,047
It's a relief.
828
00:37:09,025 --> 00:37:12,494
Really...
It's exhausting.
829
00:37:14,226 --> 00:37:17,428
Hiding, you know,
this shit inside me.
830
00:37:18,728 --> 00:37:20,327
I'm gonna fix it.
831
00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:24,631
I really am. I'm gonna get my ducks
in a row. I've seen things happen to...
832
00:37:24,823 --> 00:37:26,757
To too many friends.
833
00:37:27,990 --> 00:37:30,022
We are a different generation.
834
00:37:30,097 --> 00:37:34,522
I am not saying that as an excuse.
It's just... It's a fact.
835
00:37:34,558 --> 00:37:36,824
We're out of time
836
00:37:36,956 --> 00:37:40,314
being sucked down
a black hole.
837
00:37:40,369 --> 00:37:41,636
I am sorry.
838
00:37:43,079 --> 00:37:46,183
For this and...
839
00:37:46,263 --> 00:37:50,730
For everything.
This is a real wake up call.
840
00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:53,156
It really is, and I want
to thank you, Robyn.
841
00:37:53,196 --> 00:37:57,099
Because if I get through this,
it is all because of you.
842
00:38:03,027 --> 00:38:05,295
Cabin crew,
proceed for landing.
843
00:38:05,839 --> 00:38:07,641
Oh, fuck!
844
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,050
Well,
apologies for the bumpy landing.
845
00:38:49,136 --> 00:38:51,726
The descent was a little more
turbulent than we expected.
846
00:38:51,827 --> 00:38:56,179
But we would like to welcome you to JFK, New York.
847
00:38:56,215 --> 00:38:59,078
- And although we are now at the gate, please remain seated
- Jesus Christ.
848
00:38:59,184 --> 00:39:01,619
until the seat belt sign
has been turned off.
849
00:39:02,606 --> 00:39:06,007
- Seven voicemails.
- There's a plan in place.
850
00:39:06,182 --> 00:39:09,651
- Remain calm. Do as we said.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
851
00:39:11,036 --> 00:39:13,602
- Oh, my God.
- What?
852
00:39:19,801 --> 00:39:24,071
My brother,
he was in a car accident.
853
00:39:26,922 --> 00:39:31,089
That's what the
police were calling about.
854
00:39:31,211 --> 00:39:36,266
Stupid son of a bitch. He was texting.
He ran into the back of a Prius.
855
00:39:36,302 --> 00:39:37,938
- Is he okay?
- Crazy.
856
00:39:37,974 --> 00:39:40,552
He's got, like a,
you know, a broken hip but...
857
00:39:40,588 --> 00:39:45,991
Yeah, no, he's fine, he's fine.
He's stable. Jesus Christ!
858
00:39:46,224 --> 00:39:50,791
Oh, my God.
That's unbelievable!
859
00:39:50,827 --> 00:39:53,793
Oh, don't
I feel like a dumbass.
860
00:39:53,829 --> 00:39:55,628
- So, the laptop?
- Oh, the la...
861
00:39:55,664 --> 00:39:56,930
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't know.
862
00:39:56,966 --> 00:40:00,981
I'll text Magda. I'll have her pick it
up, whether broken or not.
863
00:40:01,114 --> 00:40:02,148
I mean, it's...
It's...
864
00:40:03,338 --> 00:40:05,170
It's like
a Get Out of Jail Free card.
865
00:40:05,206 --> 00:40:08,666
I feel like a... A cancer victim
who just got the all clear.
866
00:40:08,702 --> 00:40:11,409
I'm gonna
get fuckin' fucked up.
867
00:40:11,445 --> 00:40:13,977
Tonight, we are
gonna celebrate, baby.
868
00:40:14,013 --> 00:40:15,545
I'm gonna need you to make
a couple of phone calls.
869
00:40:15,581 --> 00:40:17,916
There's an agency that I use here.
They know what I like.
870
00:40:19,317 --> 00:40:22,784
Crack a smile. Come on,
it's good times.
871
00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:26,280
This is a Christmas miracle.
872
00:40:27,128 --> 00:40:31,158
Oh and, uh, we should send, uh,
my brother some fruit or something.
873
00:40:31,194 --> 00:40:33,030
What a trip, huh?
874
00:40:33,066 --> 00:40:37,686
Your phones, madam.
I'm so sorry about that situation earlier.
875
00:40:40,202 --> 00:40:45,203
Oh, just so you know. Um,
I won't be putting any of it in my report.
876
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:49,042
- So, is everything okay?
- Of course.
877
00:40:49,923 --> 00:40:50,924
Thank you.
878
00:40:56,654 --> 00:41:01,292
Sent. Okay, I gotta get off this
goddamn plane before I murder someone.
879
00:41:03,588 --> 00:41:06,257
Hey, will you, uh...
Grab my bags, will you?
880
00:41:07,392 --> 00:41:10,224
Hey, guess what?
I found a pen.
881
00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:13,093
Now, all I need
is something to sign.
882
00:41:13,129 --> 00:41:15,794
- Oh, excuse me.
- Oh, thank you.
883
00:41:15,830 --> 00:41:19,730
I would never have heard the last of it
if we had lost Daisy. What do we say, Pen?
884
00:41:19,934 --> 00:41:21,717
Thank you, Robyn.
885
00:41:21,858 --> 00:41:26,106
Daddy was a bit scared when it was
bumpy but now I think he's okay.
886
00:41:27,141 --> 00:41:28,606
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
887
00:41:36,215 --> 00:41:38,981
You guys are awesome.
Can I help you with your bag?
888
00:41:39,017 --> 00:41:40,018
Mmm-hmm.
889
00:41:54,837 --> 00:41:56,105
Hi, is that Michael?
890
00:41:57,451 --> 00:42:00,289
It's Robyn. How are you?
How are the kids?
891
00:42:01,434 --> 00:42:04,266
That's great.
Glad to hear it.
892
00:42:04,302 --> 00:42:06,368
- Look, I'm gonna need to call in that favor.
- My pleasure.
893
00:42:06,405 --> 00:42:08,715
You still have your
connection on the force?
894
00:42:08,751 --> 00:42:11,685
- You staying in town?
- Oh, there's currently a laptop
895
00:42:11,733 --> 00:42:16,465
at Edmonton PC Repair in Hampstead,
that they might want to take a look at.
896
00:42:18,417 --> 00:42:20,118
Belongs to a Mr. Cooper.
897
00:42:23,072 --> 00:42:24,073
Yup.
898
00:42:25,523 --> 00:42:27,257
But they're going to need
to move quickly.
899
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:30,361
Okay.
900
00:42:31,428 --> 00:42:32,429
Great.
901
00:42:33,229 --> 00:42:34,230
I appreciate it.
902
00:42:36,499 --> 00:42:37,500
Michael.
903
00:42:39,386 --> 00:42:41,152
This conversation
never happened.
904
00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:43,902
All right?
905
00:43:00,708 --> 00:43:05,708
Subtitles by explosiveskull