1 00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:09,217 [water gurgling] 2 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,179 [muffled music] 3 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,147 [upbeat music playing] 4 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:28,278 [Jen] This was a good idea.  You were right. I just needed a vacation. 5 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,446 -[Judy] Right? -Yeah. 6 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:30,905 -A little holiday? -Yeah. 7 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,825 Palm Springs, you know, get away from it all? 8 00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:34,826 Mm-hm. 9 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,411 Codependent No More. 10 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,955 Doing a little light reading by the pool? 11 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,081 Yes, I am. 12 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,917 I'm trying to unpack everything with Steve, now that it's over. Again. 13 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:46,296 I need to learn how to be on my own, take care of myself. 14 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,465 Oh, your shoulders are getting pink! 15 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,258 -Let me get that. -You are codependent. 16 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,384 Right? 17 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:55,138 -Is it weird that I like it? -I love that you like it. 18 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,848 You know what I also like? 19 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,851 I like a margarita by the pool in a plastic cup. 20 00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:00,769 -Oh! -Yeah. 21 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,521 In fact... Can I get one more? 22 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,774 Okay, well, codependent reminder to hydrate. 23 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,651 Because it's 11:30 in the morning, and you have to pace yourself. 24 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,154 Yeah. Well, you know what, this is me pacing myself. 25 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,239 And I wanna be very clear. 26 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,242 Mommy can do whatever she wants. 27 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,953 Oh. Is Mommy calling herself Mommy? 28 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,622 -Mommy is. -Oh. 29 00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:24,584 Mommy's kids are with the grandmother, and Mommy ain't got shit to do. 30 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,504 Mommy does have some shit to do. 31 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,547 -No shit. -[Wayne] Jen? Judy? 32 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,424 [Jen] Hi, Pastor Wayne. 33 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,177 I'm so happy you could make it to our Friends of Heaven Grief Retreat. 34 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,261 Grief treat! 35 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,681 I do hope you'll take the opportunity this weekend 36 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,559 to imbibe some of our therapeutic workshops. 37 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,646 This weekend could be a real turning point for you. 38 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:47,398 I'm so excited. 39 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,777 I'm really looking forward to taking a look inward. 40 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,070 Kiss-ass! 41 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:54,239 There are seminars specialized for all walks of grief. 42 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,075 It's very powerful  when all that trauma comes together. 43 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,409 It should be a really good time. 44 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,203 -[Jen] Yeah. -[Judy] Thanks. 45 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:04,040 I don't think that guy would know a good time if it fucked him in the... 46 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,125 [splash] 47 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:12,173 [Judy] I do think it'd be good for you to participate a little this weekend. 48 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,758 -[Jen] Oh! -Lean in. 49 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,427 You know? So you're not just numbing  your pain. 50 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:17,428 Pain? 51 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:19,848 There's no pain with this guy. 52 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,641 No, all joy. 53 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,477 Ooh! I think I'm gonna go  to... 54 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,648 "Lost Angels: Finding Yourself After Pregnancy Loss" at noon. 55 00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,276 [gasps] Wait. You could check out "Window to the Widow." 56 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:35,822 Okay. No. I came here to escape, not wallow in my widowhood. 57 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,074 -Hey, ladies. -[both] Hi. 58 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,617 -Got something for you. -[Judy] What? 59 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,995 -Here you go. -Oh, my God, Yolanda. 60 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:42,912 Look at this. 61 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:43,872 [Jen gasps] 62 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,248 -Isn't it great? -It's great. 63 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:46,416 And voila. 64 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:47,876 [Judy] Nice. 65 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,378 So, any tips for the weekend? 66 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,464 Well, I always get a lot out  of "Cooking for One with Chef Sue." 67 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,967 That sounds like a goofy class. 68 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,136 Hey, you coming to WTTW? 69 00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,470 I have no idea what that is. 70 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,555 -Window to the Wid-- -No. 71 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,849 Window to the Widow. 72 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:08,354 "This workshop is focused on keeping the window to the widow's heart open 73 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,690 to the love she shared with the departed." 74 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,484 -Love is eternal. -Yeah. Not if the fucker cheated. 75 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,570 Now, that's different. 76 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,322 [Jen] Yeah. It's different. 77 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:20,867 I swear to God, I think these people actually get off on their grief. 78 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,328 Well, maybe they're just embracing where they are. 79 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,955 Well, you know, where I am is ready to move on. 80 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:30,168 You know what? There's some really fun gay bars downtown. 81 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,046 We could go dancing, get completely ignored. 82 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,881 -[laughs] -It could be super fun. 83 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:35,798 Maybe. 84 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,301 But there's also lot of fun stuff to do here. 85 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,011 Hmm. 86 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,138 I see one fun thing I can do. 87 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,975 [Judy] Oh, my God, I see that, too. 88 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:49,437 But according to the brochure, this is a time of healing 89 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,064 and self-exploration. 90 00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:51,981 Okay. 91 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,901 Well, according to my husband, I was dead, and we weren't married. 92 00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:58,446 So that means that somebody is open for business. 93 00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,199 And that somebody's business is her vagina. 94 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:02,283 Pussy! 95 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,910 I thought you were gonna say "poontang." 96 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,870 -Ew! I would not say that. -You might say that. 97 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,789 -Really? -Yeah, poontang. 98 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,208 Hmm. Hmm. 99 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,293 [Judy] Vegas Chapter. 100 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,711 -Hi. -He's from Vegas. 101 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,173 -Widow. -Jeez! 102 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,050 [Judy] Okay. So my baby seminar 103 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,719 -is in the Desert Winds Ballroom. -Mm-hm. 104 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,972 -Then I'll meet you after? -Yeah. Totally. 105 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,682 -Am I okay to leave you? -Uh-huh. 106 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,393 Judy, I'm not the one who can't be left alone. 107 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,602 That's true. 108 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,896 Yeah. Oh! Dude from the pool. 109 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,940 -Dude from the pool. Hi! -What is going on? 110 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,483 Hi. Hi. 111 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:36,442 Hi. 112 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,528 -Nice shirt. -Oh! 113 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,697 How embarrassing, we all wore the same thing. 114 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,532 Yeah. Maybe I should do that to mine. 115 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,908 Yeah, maybe you should. 116 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,369 You're going to The Big Question? 117 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,748 Oh, yeah, no question about it. 118 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,376 -Should I save you a seat? -Yeah. 119 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,170 Okay. Cool. 120 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,216 -What? -Holy eye contact that just happened. 121 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,135 Oh, my God, how did you do that? 122 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,887 -This is gonna be really good for you. -I know. 123 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,014 Don't bring the drink in. 124 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,766 Out of respect for the other grievers, especially the cute one. 125 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,477 -He's very hot. I'll see you later. -Oh, my God, super hot. 126 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,604 -I'm taking the... -He's like a good old-fashion hunk. 127 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:17,066 Have fun at your baby thing... Oh, that's not fun, is it? 128 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,277 Excuse me. 129 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,406 Hi. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, boy. You know? 130 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,075 -Go! -I'm going. 131 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,832 [Wayne] Welcome to The Big Question. 132 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,669 Actually... there's 14. 133 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,629 -[Jen] Jesus. -[Wayne] We'll break down questions 134 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:39,922 that have no easy answer. 135 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,257 Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. 136 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,760 [Wayne] Is screaming  into my pillow healthy? 137 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:45,636 [sighs] 138 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,722 Why can't I stop eating? 139 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,767 So, who died and sent you here? 140 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,352 [Wayne] When will I run out of tears? 141 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,269 Wow! 142 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,189 -Do you say that to all the widowers? -[laughs] 143 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:57,857 I might. 144 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,318 Depends on how well our conversation goes. 145 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:01,527 [Wayne] How can I smile? 146 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:03,863 My wife died. 147 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,531 Sailing accident. 148 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,283 Boats. 149 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,118 [Wayne] Why do I feel guilty if I laugh? 150 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,579 My husband was in a hit-and-run. 151 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,207 -[Wayne] How do I think about... -I'm Jen. 152 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,166 [Wayne] ...not that? 153 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,085 -Jason. -Oh, hi. Jen. 154 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,213 Jason. Are you--? 155 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,881 You said that already. Huh? 156 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,300 -[Wayne] Does trauma last forever? -Are you drunk? 157 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,552 -Could be. -[clears throat] 158 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,471 What? Sorry! 159 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,392 Does trauma last forever? Maybe. 160 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,394 I know him. 161 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,563 -He your pastor? -Oh, God, no. [laughs] 162 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,232 [Wayne continues] 163 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,525 Ew! 164 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,111 The road was fraught. It was. 165 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,531 Not just to get pregnant, but to stay pregnant. 166 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:51,702 And as much as we wanted a child to embody the love that we felt for each other, 167 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,580 the struggle to have a baby almost tore us apart. 168 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:58,835 -I wonder if any of you experienced that? -I have. Hi, I'm Judy. 169 00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,794 Um... 170 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,879 My relationship didn't survive the struggle. 171 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,341 And it's not that I really wanna even be with him, exactly, I just... 172 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,219 I don't wanna sit in these feelings alone. 173 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,846 That was a rhetorical question. 174 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,180 Oh. 175 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,307 Oh. I'm sorry. 176 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:14,725 Um... 177 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,895 I thought everybody was sharing. 178 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,772 -I'm just gonna keep going. -Yeah! Thanks. 179 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,733 After IVF, IUI, PGD... 180 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:23,734 I did all of those. 181 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:26,654 ...our doctor told us that maybe we were having a run of bad luck. 182 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,741 Bad luck? Luck felt like such an insufficient word. 183 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,871 And just when it seemed like our heartbreak would destroy us, 184 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:39,041 we tried one last time. And what do you know? 185 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:40,877 Our luck changed. 186 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,381 -[sentimental music playing] -[gasps] Oh, my God! 187 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,050 -[group coos] -[leader] Your luck can change, too. 188 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,553 But you need to stop with the self-talk 189 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,972 that says there's something wrong with you, with your body. 190 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,682 Stop shaming yourself. 191 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:56,601 Repeat after me. 192 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,394 I am not broken. 193 00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,438 [all] I am not broken. 194 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,564 Join hands. 195 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:04,859 Say it again. 196 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,569 Now you can talk. Okay? 197 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,113 I am not broken. 198 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,157 [all] I am not broken. 199 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,118 -Say until you believe it.  -[all] I am not broken. 200 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:15,995 I am not broken. 201 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,164 -[leader] There we go. -[all] I am not broken. 202 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,208 -[leader] Yes. -[all] I am not broken. 203 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,418 I am not broken. 204 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,420 I am not broken. 205 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,172 I am not broken. 206 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,299 Wow. That was a lot to take in. 207 00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:32,011 Yeah. Pastor Wayne has a way of saying  things without saying anything. 208 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,347 -I don't know. -He just goes on and on 209 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,015 about how you can have your feelings, 210 00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:40,603 but I just think he wants you to stay sad, like, wallow in it all. 211 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,022 It's good for his business. [laughs] 212 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:48,110 I actually was in his grief group, and I didn't get anything out of it. 213 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,529 Hey, Jen. 214 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,240 Hi. 215 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,077 I think you get out of it what you put into it. 216 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,162 But what do I know? 217 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,708 -Oh, shit! -Busted! 218 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,460 I know, but I wasn't lying. 219 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,754 -I actually did get something out of it. -Yeah? 220 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:10,174 Sometimes, it's nice to know you're not the only one who asks dumb questions. 221 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,300 -Right. -You know? 222 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,636 Well, I'm glad you got something out of it. 223 00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,430 Do you wanna get a drink? 224 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,934 Just... I happen to know that this place has margaritas 225 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:23,020 that are mediocre yet very effective. 226 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,898 I can't. I'm sorry. 227 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,942 I already signed up for Man-to-Man Yoga. 228 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,777 Oh, that sounds gay. 229 00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:31,487 Not in a bad way. 230 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,155 Sorry, just in, like, a... 231 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,700 Are you gay... way? 232 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:36,993 No. I'm not. 233 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,494 -Oh. -It's "man-to-man." 234 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,955 Oh, it's not "man-in-man." 235 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,125 -No. -I heard "man-in-man." 236 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,294 -No. -That's why I said that. 237 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,670 That's a different class. 238 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,338 -No, man to man. -Okay. 239 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,716 Men are less flexible, physically and emotionally. 240 00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:53,301 It's supposed to work both angles. 241 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,678 -Got it. -But I'll probably see you around. 242 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:59,098 Maybe at the bar for Carry-On-Oke or something. 243 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,518 -Yeah. I was planning on going to that. -Okay. 244 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,271 Whatever the fuck that is. 245 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,860 [Yolanda] This is for you, Burt. 246 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:15,072 I miss you every day, especially today. 247 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:16,741 Hey. 248 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,620 ♪ Don't leave me this way, Burt ♪ 249 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,456 -Yolanda? -Cool! 250 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,418 -♪ Can't stay alive ♪ -Carry-On-Oke. Get it? 251 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,669 Oh, I do. 252 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,797 -[laughs] Let's get a drink. -It's clever. 253 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,717 ♪ Don't leave me this way, Burt ♪ 254 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,469 Do you think she misses Burt? 255 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,512 -I do. -I can't tell. 256 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,389 [bartender] There you go. 257 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,476 -Here is to moving on. -Yup. 258 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,978 ♪ Don't leave me this way ♪ 259 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,814 Speaking of which, who do you like? 260 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,733 -Look around. -No. 261 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,735 -No, I'm gonna have one drink... -What? 262 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,655 ...and then I'm gonna go to the room, and I'm gonna journal, and meditate, 263 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,156 and spend the night with me. 264 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,867 Okay. Go be healthy and boring. 265 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,869 I fully support you getting laid, though. 266 00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:02,870 Thank you. 267 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,040 -I don't wanna be like Yolanda. -Mmm. 268 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,542 -She does sound really good, though. -God, she does. 269 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,211 Yeah. She's kind of incredible. 270 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,546 ♪ Yeah! ♪ 271 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,506 Amazing. 272 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,799 ♪ Don't you leave me this way ♪ 273 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,677 Oh, my God. Okay. He's here. He's here. 274 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,553 ♪ I can't survive ♪ 275 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,722 Oh, my God. I have tequila face. 276 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,934 -I just got really nervous.  -There's nothing to be nervous about. 277 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,770 No, because I just keep sticking my foot in my mouth with him. 278 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,815 Just be honest with... He is looking over here at you. 279 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,024 -He is? -Yeah. 280 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,235 Does it look like he likes what he sees? 281 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,654 Mm... hm. 282 00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:38,155 -Yeah? -How could he not? 283 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,407 You are heaven on a stick. 284 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,076 -Thank you. -You got this. 285 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,160 Okay. 286 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,371 Okay. I got this. Yeah. 287 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,498 I'm gonna go try and fuck that guy. 288 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,999 -Yeah, you are. -Okay, yup. 289 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,501 I'm gonna try to fuck him. 290 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,002 -Go fuck that guy! -Okay. 291 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,462 -But be careful. -Yup. 292 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,547 Okay. 293 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,841 -Hi. -Hey, Jen. 294 00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:57,842 Hey. 295 00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,719 -How are you? -Good. How are you? 296 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,470 So good. Yeah. 297 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,389 So good. 298 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,266 Hey, you know, I'm... 299 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:10,104 I'm sorry if I, like, offended you earlier today. 300 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,190 It's just shit was coming out of my mouth, and it was like... 301 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,776 -really, like, awkward. -Oh, no, no, no. 302 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,945 And I was just trying to make jokes and... 303 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:20,114 -No, no, no, it's totally fine. Yeah. -No? Okay. 304 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:26,495 I think it was my, um... lame attempt to try and flirt with you. 305 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:32,460 Uh... but I haven't flirted with anyone since my husband died. 306 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,921 I think I'm admitting that 'cause I'm a little drunk. 307 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,673 -Again? -Still. 308 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,300 [both laughing] 309 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:43,554 No, I'm so flattered  that you would wanna flirt with me. 310 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,222 -Really? -Yeah. 311 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,850 You're beautiful. 312 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:50,978 Do you wanna fuck? 313 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,273 -What'd you say? -I said, uh... 314 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,816 do you... 315 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,193 do you... wanna fuck? 316 00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,402 I'm sorry. I can't hear you. 317 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,029 Oh, sorry. I'm... 318 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:02,907 Would you like to dance? 319 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,658 -Oh, sure. Yeah. -Yeah. 320 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,495 Because for a second, I thought you were asking me if I wanted to fuck. 321 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,331 Ha! [laughs] 322 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,082 ♪ I can't survive ♪ 323 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:17,546 ♪ Can't stay alive without your love ♪ 324 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,008 ♪ Don't leave me this way ♪ 325 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,470 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 326 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,057 ♪ My heart is full of love And desire for you ♪ 327 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,478 ♪ So come on down and do  What you gotta do ♪ 328 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:36,440 ♪ You started this fire down in my soul ♪ 329 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,110 ♪ Now, can't you see it's burning Out of control ♪ 330 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,863 ♪ So come on satisfy... ♪ 331 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,031 You're awesome. 332 00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,616 -You wanna go to your room? -Yes. 333 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,534 Okay. 334 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,744 ♪ Only your good loving Can set me free ♪ 335 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,124 ♪ Don't leave me this way, baby ♪ 336 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,543 [cheering] 337 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,087 [cheering and applause continues] 338 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,094 ["Drive" by The Cars playing] 339 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,471 -Check, please. -[bartender] Okay. 340 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,015 This is for my best friend who I lost. 341 00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,478 ♪ Who's gonna tell you when ♪ 342 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:20,234 ♪ It's too late? ♪ 343 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,532 ♪ Who's gonna tell you things ♪ 344 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:31,912 ♪ Aren't so great? ♪ 345 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,127 ♪ You can't go on ♪ 346 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:43,007 ♪ Thinking nothing's wrong ♪ 347 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,802 -[shrieks] -[tires screech] 348 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,305 ♪ Who's gonna drive you home ♪ 349 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,724 ♪ Tonight? ♪ 350 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,730 ♪ Who's gonna hold you down ♪ 351 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,401 ♪ When you shake? ♪ 352 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,116 ♪ Who's gonna come around ♪ 353 00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:13,495 ♪ When you break? ♪ 354 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:20,711 ♪ Oh, you know you can't go on ♪ 355 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:26,467 ♪ Thinking nothing's wrong ♪ 356 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,973 ♪ Who's gonna drive you home ♪ 357 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,059 ♪ Tonight? ♪ 358 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,024 ♪ Tonight ♪ 359 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,200 [chatter] 360 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,626 Thanks. 361 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:06,966 ♪ Yeah, there's something in the air I can feel it ♪ 362 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,264 You were really good. 363 00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:15,766 I love that song. 364 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,435 Thanks. 365 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:20,980 It's nice of you to say so. 366 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:26,068 I think it's really refreshing  that you put yourself out there like that, 367 00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,696 and you wear your heart on your sleeve. 368 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,033 It's refreshing  that you would come and tell me that. 369 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,455 Well, I wasn't planning on talking to anybody, 370 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:43,711 but then, I don't know, I just wanted to tell you that that really moved me. 371 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:44,878 That really got me. 372 00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,840 -Yeah? -Yeah. 373 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,345 And you have such a great beard. 374 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,393 Are you... are you hitting on me? 375 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,772 Do you want me to be hitting on you? 376 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,775 Yeah. I'd like that. 377 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,279 Then that is what I'm doing. Probably. 378 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,156 [soft moaning] 379 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,285 Take off your shirt. 380 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,334 Oh, yeah. 381 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,045 That's just... 382 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,672 You are in amazing shape. 383 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:29,923 Thanks. 384 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,260 When my wife fell off the boat, I wasn't strong enough to save her. 385 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,261 Okay. 386 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:36,722 You know what? 387 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,894 Let's just...  Let's just try not talking, okay? 388 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,481 She reached out for me and I... 389 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,316 I couldn't pull her up. 390 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,525 Okay. 391 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,028 I promised her memory  that I would never be weak again. 392 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,738 [sighs deeply] 393 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:53,947 But what does it matter? 394 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,449 [Jason sighs deeply] 395 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,826 She's never coming back. 396 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,914 [breathes deeply] 397 00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:02,956 I'm sorry. 398 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,084 I'm sorry. 399 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,337 I became obsessed with lifting. 400 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,091 And then my diet. I live a life of total deprivation. 401 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,592 I deny myself so much. 402 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:15,803 Yeah. 403 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,596 Have you seen my purse? 404 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,514 I'm sorry. 405 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,016 You should probably go. 406 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,560 Yeah, I know. That's why I'm looking for my purse. 407 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,779 [knocks] 408 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,322 -Hi. -Hi. 409 00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,742 -How did it go? -Oh, it didn't. 410 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,452 Can I come in, please? 411 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,163 Uh... I'm kind of hanging out with Nick. 412 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,706 Who's Nick? 413 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,625 -Um... -I thought you were gonna focus on you. 414 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:50,504 Oh, I am. But he would also like to focus on me. 415 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,673 Mm-hm. Got it. 416 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,093 I'm not really prepared, though. 417 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,636 Prepared how? 418 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,805 Downstairs. My poontang. 419 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,182 You said "poontang." 420 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,725 I did. I know. 421 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,394 -It's not sexy, right? -It's a gross word. 422 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,603 -Don't say it in there? -No. 423 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:09,773 -Okay. -So what kind of landscape are we talking? 424 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,150 Oh, it's lush. 425 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,067 Oh. 426 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,027 Just lean in, baby. 427 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,154 -Really? -Yeah. 428 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:17,489 Thank you. 429 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,368 -Can I take the room for a minute? -Mm-hm. 430 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,537 -I'd probably be more than a minute. -Okay. I got it. 431 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,622 -Be careful. -Okay. 432 00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,332 Yuck! 433 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,129 [sighs] 434 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,404 [moaning] 435 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,367 Wow. 436 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,912 This is not how I was expecting the weekend to go. 437 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,163 Me either. 438 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:09,499 Um... 439 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:12,878 Okay. 440 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:18,008 If it's cool, I just...  I'd like to take it slow. 441 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:20,302 I want you to like me in the morning. 442 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,554 Oh, my God. That's so sweet. 443 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:26,308 It's not a line. I'm not a player. 444 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,310 You have very healthy boundaries. 445 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,729 -You think it's nerdy? -No, I think it's sexy. 446 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:37,402 Okay, but when you say slow, like, define slow. 447 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,404 We have to define it? 448 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:42,241 Well, I mean,  do you mean, like, just kissing, 449 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,785 or do you mean, like, everything but? 450 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,286 [Nick inhales deeply] 451 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,122 Well... my job, 452 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:54,503 it requires that I be very deliberate, 453 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:59,758 that I take my time, that I be thorough, 454 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,887 and then I satisfy everyone I serve. 455 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,848 How seriously do you take your job? 456 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,146 Oh! 457 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,398 Natural woman. 458 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,650 You're welcome. 459 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,069 [squeals] 460 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:25,492 [Wayne] Nice night, huh? 461 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,868 Oh, Jesus. 462 00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:29,121 You got to stop sneaking up on me like that. 463 00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:31,415 Sorry. I was just looking for someplace to be alone. 464 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,542 Just need to unwind a bit. 465 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,294 Yeah. Me too. 466 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:38,046 -You know what?  Why don't I just--? -No, it's okay. 467 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,382 It's okay. 468 00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,510 We can... be alone together. 469 00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:47,431 Do you mind if I smoke? 470 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:48,849 No. 471 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,059 Mind if I drink? 472 00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,313 Look at you. 473 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:56,940 You mind sharing? 474 00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,360 [Nick] You're an artist. 475 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:03,488 Hmm, not really. I just paint for myself. 476 00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,825 -Did you paint that little girl? -Yeah. 477 00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:09,494 Then you're an artist. 478 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:11,788 You don't think they're creepy? 479 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,498 Um... I do. 480 00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:15,792 But they're also beautiful. 481 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:20,422 -Thanks. -Yeah. 482 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,885 So tell me about your friend. 483 00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,346 The one that you dedicated the song to. 484 00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:29,931 -Lucas. -Yeah. Lucas. 485 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,143 Yeah. Well...  486 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:34,895 we... 487 00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,314 worked together. We were partners. 488 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,483 -I'm sorry. -Yeah. 489 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,153 I don't know  what it's like to be a widower, 490 00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:44,905 or to lose a kid, but... 491 00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,533 I definitely know what it's like to lose a best friend. 492 00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:52,371 -It sucks. -Yeah. That would be really hard. 493 00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,415 I haven't even been back to work since he died. 494 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,251 How did it happen? 495 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,462 On duty. 496 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,298 I'm sorry... 497 00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,051 what is it that you do? 498 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,970 [Jen] I wanna apologize  for what I said earlier. 499 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,224 I know you think I'm a dick. 500 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,018 -Not at all. -A little. 501 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:18,105 Maybe a little. 502 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,607 I'm sorry. I... 503 00:23:21,775 --> 00:23:22,943 I know you mean well. 504 00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:26,446 Like, I know you don't take  the work seriously, 505 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,031 or me seriously. 506 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:31,118 -Look, don't take it personally. -I don't. 507 00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:35,163 Yeah. I know you use cynicism as a way to deal with grief. 508 00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:36,248 You're not the first. 509 00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:39,626 No. But I am the best. 510 00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,711 Oh, yeah. You've raised the bar. 511 00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:44,423 Ah! It's good to be appreciated. 512 00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:47,175 I do appreciate you. 513 00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:58,603 He was... he was cheating on me. 514 00:23:59,729 --> 00:24:00,730 My husband. 515 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:02,566 Before he died. 516 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:04,401 I just found out. 517 00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:06,528 [sighs] 518 00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:08,530 I'm so sorry. 519 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,740 Yeah. Me too. 520 00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:16,788 How does knowing that make you feel? 521 00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:25,005 Like I hate him. 522 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,594 That seems right. 523 00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:33,472 [tearfully] I don't want to hate him. 524 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,392 I don't want to feel any of this shit anymore. 525 00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:39,186 Jen... 526 00:24:39,519 --> 00:24:43,940 I know I'm supposed to forgive him because that's the way through, and... 527 00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:47,194 Look, see, I... I listen. 528 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:50,780 I just don't like to apply it. 529 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:53,867 [exhales] 530 00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:55,785 Maybe you can't forgive him for dying. 531 00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:01,541 -He didn't mean to die. -Fair. 532 00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:05,045 But you don't know  how your story was gonna end, 533 00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:08,298 and someone just ripped those pages out of your book. 534 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:10,842 Right. 535 00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:14,846 Maybe he was gonna tell you or apologize. 536 00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:16,556 Or leave me. 537 00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:19,142 He did leave you. 538 00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:23,647 [sighs deeply] Yeah. 539 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,108 Believe it or not, what I'm hearing... 540 00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:30,612 is that you really loved him. 541 00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:38,328 Yeah. 542 00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:42,415 [sighs] Yeah. 543 00:25:47,462 --> 00:25:48,713 Do you have any cigarettes? 544 00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:50,840 No. 545 00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:07,482 Oh, shoot. 546 00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,276 -[horn blares] -Oh! 547 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,906 [sobbing] 548 00:26:18,868 --> 00:26:19,953 Oh, my God... 549 00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:47,981 [zipper rasps] 550 00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:52,110 Hi. 551 00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:54,446 Hi. 552 00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:57,616 Are you okay? 553 00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:00,493 No. 554 00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,081 How was your night? 555 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:09,252 Um, it was... maybe better than yours? 556 00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:14,549 I need to get my shit together, Judy. 557 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:17,594 -Okay. -For my boys. 558 00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:20,138 Okay. 559 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,683 But there's no escaping it. It's just... 560 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,813 It's, like, wherever you go, there you are. You know? 561 00:27:31,024 --> 00:27:31,900 Yeah. 562 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,529 Which just... sucks. 563 00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:42,285 I wish you didn't feel like that. 564 00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:44,704 Well, I do. 565 00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:49,501 Because someone ripped my life apart. 566 00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,215 I hate that person. 567 00:27:57,884 --> 00:27:59,886 [water running] 568 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,722 [door opens] 569 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,185 Hi. 570 00:28:08,144 --> 00:28:09,062 [Nick] Hey. 571 00:28:10,063 --> 00:28:11,064 This is my friend, Jen. 572 00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:16,653 I usually look a little better than this. 573 00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:19,030 Hello, friend. 574 00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:20,573 -[sniffs] -This is Nick. 575 00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:22,742 Hi, Nick. 576 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:30,709 He's a cop. 577 00:28:33,753 --> 00:28:35,797 A detective, actually. 578 00:28:42,762 --> 00:28:44,222 You ever solve a hit-and-run? 579 00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:49,102 Yes.