1 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,681 So, you just heat it up at 300 and leave it in for 35 minutes. 2 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:17,308 Thanks, Karen. But you really don't have to keep... 3 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,084 - It's my take on Mexican lasagna. - Great. 4 00:00:20,256 --> 00:00:22,939 It's nothing. We just don't want you to think you're alone. 5 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,131 - Mmm. - Jeff and I are here for you, 6 00:00:25,165 --> 00:00:26,735 if you ever wanna talk. 7 00:00:26,974 --> 00:00:27,982 Thanks. 8 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,447 Just can't imagine what you're going through. 9 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:35,827 Well, it's like if Jeff got hit by a car and died suddenly and violently. 10 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,036 Like that. 11 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,665 Right. 12 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,019 Well, you get that dish back to me whenever you can... 13 00:00:43,052 --> 00:00:44,268 Yup. Gonna get right on it. 14 00:00:44,331 --> 00:00:46,799 Synced & corrected by reggielist www.addic7ed.com 15 00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,151 Oh. 16 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,237 Fuck. 17 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,154 God. 18 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,369 I'd skip the coffee. It's terrible. 19 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:01,954 I made it. 20 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,498 Hmm? Oh. 21 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,124 I'm sorry. 22 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,919 - No. I'm just kidding. - Hmm? 23 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,882 - I'm just kidding. - Oh. 24 00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:11,048 I'm Judy. 25 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,091 - Hi. Jen. - Hi. 26 00:02:16,453 --> 00:02:17,453 Hi. 27 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,764 You come to this group often? 28 00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:22,642 Uh... No. This is my first time here. 29 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,185 - Me, too. - Oh. 30 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,191 Sorry. I hope this isn't weird. 31 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,360 Do you do real estate? 32 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,532 I feel like I've seen your face on, like, a... a bus bench? 33 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,825 You and a cute gay guy? 34 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,034 - Yeah. - What? 35 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,036 Yeah, that's me. 36 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,707 With Christopher, who does not think he looks gay in that picture. 37 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:49,169 I didn't mean that in a bad way. I think gay is beautiful. 38 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,521 Which bench did you see? 39 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,506 Oh, I think it's the one where you're like... 40 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:56,843 Oh, no. 41 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:58,803 No? And he's like... 42 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,556 No, no, no. I guess I just mean where do you live? 43 00:03:02,462 --> 00:03:03,540 Oh, my gosh. 44 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,058 Sorry. Newport Beach. 45 00:03:06,092 --> 00:03:07,097 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 46 00:03:07,131 --> 00:03:08,771 - You live... You live in Newport? - Yeah. 47 00:03:09,391 --> 00:03:10,391 Okay. 48 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,318 Yeah. I don't think I belong there either. 49 00:03:13,701 --> 00:03:16,412 - Not a bad thing to not belong there. - Right. 50 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:20,200 But if you ever need a real estate agent, just... 51 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,160 - Oh, wow. Thank you. - Uh-huh. 52 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,745 - I might. - Okay. 53 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,750 Sorry. 54 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,418 I hope this isn't weird. 55 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,046 Can I give you a hug? 56 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:35,965 No. 57 00:03:37,696 --> 00:03:38,718 Okay. 58 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,054 Well, looks like we have some new people here today. 59 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:42,889 Hi. I'm Judy. 60 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,807 - Hi, Judy. - Hey, Judy. 61 00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:49,953 - Uh-uh. That's okay. - All right. 62 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,024 Well, welcome to Friends of Heaven. I'm Pastor Wayne. 63 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,652 As some of you know, I like to start out our grief circle 64 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,529 by talking about a loss I lived through that got me into this work. 65 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,644 My aunt fell down a flight of stairs 66 00:04:01,678 --> 00:04:03,250 and cracked her head open and bled out 67 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,203 as her five-year-old son watched, 68 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,966 and I was the one that asked her to get me a soda from the basement. 69 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,166 So, I live with that. 70 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,669 And that's a little something about me. 71 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,462 Oh, my God. 72 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,506 I appreciate that. 73 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,550 Is there a loss you've had that you'd like to share with us today? 74 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,302 Uh... 75 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:25,431 Yeah. I lost my fiance eight weeks ago. 76 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,977 Um... It was really sudden. 77 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:32,438 One minute, we were eating dinner and then the next, he was gone. 78 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,191 I'm so sorry. 79 00:04:36,621 --> 00:04:37,902 Thank you. 80 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:42,949 - Heart attack? - Yeah. He was 44. 81 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,202 Oh, that sucks. Sorry. 82 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,452 Thank you. 83 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,248 Thank you for sharing that. 84 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,959 So, last week, we started talking about... 85 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:54,918 the F-word. 86 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:58,630 Forgiveness. 87 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,444 Forgiveness can be very difficult, 88 00:05:00,478 --> 00:05:02,960 and it can take time, even a lifetime. 89 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,566 But no matter what the circumstances, 90 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,233 everyone is deserving of forgiveness. 91 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,891 You really think that? 92 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,459 Jesus thought that. 93 00:05:10,616 --> 00:05:11,717 Amen. 94 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,646 Um, excuse me. Um... 95 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,700 How do you forgive someone who hits your husband with their car, 96 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,233 and then drives away, leaving him to 97 00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:20,311 bleed to death on the side of the road? 98 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,362 How do you forgive that? 99 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,371 No, that's it. 100 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,624 Don't really wanna get into it, so someone else can go. 101 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:35,960 At your own pace. 102 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:39,839 It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, sad, angry, defensive... 103 00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:42,008 I'm not defensive. Okay? 104 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,345 I'm tired. 105 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,722 I'm tired, too. 106 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,103 Can you tell us more about that? 107 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,519 Oh, yeah. I just haven't been sleeping. 108 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,316 You know, I've never been a very good sleeper, anyway, but... 109 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,861 since Ted died, not at all. 110 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,949 I mean, not naturally, anyway, but... 111 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,575 And I'm not gonna take pills. 112 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:12,789 I was not a pill person and I have two kids, two boys, who... 113 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:16,667 who need me, and so, I'm not gonna be one of those, like, 114 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:21,005 Xanax Ambien zombie moms, you know. 115 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:30,139 Hey. Hey! 116 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,515 Oh, hey. 117 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:33,975 Uh... 118 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,311 I'm up all night. 119 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,942 Feel free to call me. We can... not sleep together. 120 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,827 It's supposed to be Mexican lasagna. 121 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,829 Why are there raisins in this? 122 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:55,331 - I honestly don't know. - I like it. 123 00:06:56,190 --> 00:06:58,918 - I'm sick of other people's food. - Me, too. 124 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,423 And I miss Dad's cooking. 125 00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:05,502 Me, too. 126 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,219 It's just so not fair. 127 00:07:08,777 --> 00:07:10,721 Like, why did our dad have to die? Why didn't... 128 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,516 Tyler's dad die? Rick. That guy's a twatwaffle. 129 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:15,767 I like Rick. 130 00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:20,440 - You have to wait till I'm asleep. - Mm-hmm. 131 00:07:20,531 --> 00:07:21,574 All the way asleep. 132 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,192 I know, Boop. 133 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,029 - Mommy? - Yup? 134 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,657 - I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. - No kidding. 135 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,117 I wanna go to work with you. 136 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:35,538 Oh, sweetie, I know, but we just can't do that anymore, okay? 137 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,166 I mean, it's been three months, and... 138 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,918 I think it's just time for us to go back to normal. 139 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,588 - But I wanna be with you. - I know. 140 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,506 I know, baby. 141 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,303 You know, what happened to your dad was an accident. 142 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,346 - As far as we know. - Charlie, please. 143 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:57,768 What happened to your dad was a freak accident. 144 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,646 And nothing like that is gonna happen to me, okay? 145 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:02,023 I promise you. 146 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,566 No, it's not that. 147 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,905 I'm not worried something's gonna happen to you. 148 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:06,985 No? 149 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,030 Well, then what are you worried about? 150 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,074 I just don't want you to be alone. 151 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:51,988 Okay. 152 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,002 Hello? 153 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,629 Uh... Judy? 154 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,758 - Yeah? - It's... It's Jen from... 155 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,427 from the grief group thing. 156 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:14,761 Hi. 157 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,765 I'm sorry. I don't... I don't even know why I'm calling you. 158 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,560 No, no. God, come on. I told you you could. 159 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,104 - Is it too late? - No. 160 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,816 - Are you in bed? - Uh, yeah. 161 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,736 - What are you wearing? - Huh? 162 00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:32,280 What are you wearing? 163 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:35,490 Um... 164 00:09:37,593 --> 00:09:39,469 A pair of my husband's sweatpants 165 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:43,207 and a T-shirt he got for running a 5K for... 166 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,293 psoriasis. 167 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,419 Mm. Slower. 168 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,462 You're a weird person, Judy. 169 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:51,712 Thank you. 170 00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:56,429 Did your husband really like running? Or did he just hate psoriasis? 171 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,351 I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to. 172 00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:05,354 Uh, no, no. He... He liked running. 173 00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:09,817 Came to it later in life. He was 40. 174 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:14,113 - What made him start? - He was gettin' doughy. 175 00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:15,656 - Oh, yeah. - Mm-hmm. 176 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,867 Men get that middle-aged man puff. 177 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,953 Yeah. I mean, he had a full-on beer belly. 178 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,503 He was getting a beer neck. 179 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,123 Beer neck? 180 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,459 So, he started running. 181 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,210 I was proud of him. 182 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,421 He was in the best shape of his life, when... 183 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,174 when the car hit him. 184 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,469 I'm so sorry. 185 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:38,762 Yeah. 186 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,146 Are you... Are you eating something? 187 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,605 Mm-hmm. 188 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:52,610 It's an Entenmann's chocolate chip cookie. You know, the little one? 189 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,447 Why, yes, I do. 190 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,199 Oh, he was... 191 00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:00,269 He was always a really good musician, 192 00:11:00,584 --> 00:11:02,058 even then. 193 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,664 He was the only guy I knew who liked Ani DiFranco. 194 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,956 Oh, I love Ani. 195 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,919 Well, I haven't talked about him much since he died. 196 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,090 - Well, we can stop. I don't wanna pry. - No. It's... 197 00:11:15,158 --> 00:11:16,242 It's nice. 198 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,927 Did you get it? 199 00:11:19,336 --> 00:11:21,171 - Is that him? - No, that's my other husband. 200 00:11:21,249 --> 00:11:23,210 Oh, you have another one? Then you're fine. 201 00:11:23,244 --> 00:11:26,060 Yeah, but if something happens to him, then... 202 00:11:29,408 --> 00:11:32,024 - Excuse me. - I heard that. 203 00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:34,318 You should ride that wave and go to sleep. 204 00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:35,793 No, I want a picture of Steve. 205 00:11:36,564 --> 00:11:37,822 I'd have to look. 206 00:11:38,835 --> 00:11:39,848 Found some. 207 00:11:39,889 --> 00:11:41,489 Jeez. Okay. 208 00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:43,993 Hold on. 209 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:47,748 Oh, my God. 210 00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:50,084 - Is that your house? - Yeah. 211 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,376 Harbor Ridge? 212 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,088 - Yup. - It's a lovely home. 213 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,217 He was very handsome. 214 00:11:58,884 --> 00:11:59,969 Thanks. 215 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:04,265 Yeah, I always thought he had kind of a JFK Jr. vibe. 216 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,348 God! 217 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,810 JFK Jr. was so hot. 218 00:12:08,713 --> 00:12:10,953 - So hot. - And then just so sad. 219 00:12:11,028 --> 00:12:12,446 So sad. 220 00:12:14,096 --> 00:12:15,143 So fucked up. 221 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,820 - You're tired. - Oh, yeah. 222 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,257 I think I am. You're not? 223 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,659 No. But... I'll let you go. 224 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,910 No, no, no. No. 225 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,374 Would you... 226 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,130 Would you mind waiting until I fall asleep? 227 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,048 Uh... 228 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,592 Okay. 229 00:12:40,852 --> 00:12:41,852 I mean, like... 230 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,221 ...all the way asleep? 231 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,350 Sure, of course. 232 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,060 Thank you. 233 00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:54,814 All right. 234 00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:03,419 - Do you want me to keep talking? - No, 'cause then I can't fall asleep. 235 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:06,494 Oh. Okay. Right. 236 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,435 Okay? 237 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,066 Hey. 238 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,027 Oh, Judy. 239 00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:02,757 Psst! 240 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,227 I mean, if I knew it was the end, I would... 241 00:14:12,325 --> 00:14:13,594 ...start smoking immediately. 242 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,979 Oh, my God. Yes. 243 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,313 - Right? - Immediately. 244 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,482 Smoking is the greatest thing that slowly kills you. 245 00:14:18,823 --> 00:14:20,157 It's the greatest. 246 00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:21,369 - I would. - Ooh! 247 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,204 - But I need something... - Facts of Life is on. 248 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,363 What? What channel? 249 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,446 Three-ninety-one. 250 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:26,866 Three-ninety-one. 251 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,743 Now, promise me you won't tell. 252 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,871 God, I used to love this show. 253 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,415 - Loved it. - You're just jealous because I... 254 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,709 How did I not know this was on every night? 255 00:14:37,552 --> 00:14:42,715 More importantly, why are the other girls 15 and Tootie is, like, nine? 256 00:14:44,325 --> 00:14:45,325 I don't know. 257 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,096 Has anyone ever told you you're kind of a Blair? 258 00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:51,056 What? Fuck you. 259 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:52,966 - Seriously, fuck you. - Why? 260 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,017 I'm a Jo. 261 00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:55,768 How are you a Jo? 262 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:57,995 I'm sitting in your outdoor living room, 263 00:14:58,028 --> 00:15:00,599 watching TV next to your hot tub. 264 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,943 - Feeling a little Blair-y. - I'm a fucking Jo! 265 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,904 - Okay! - Why? 266 00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,989 - Who are you? - I'm a Tootie. 267 00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:09,242 It's layered. 268 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,162 - How are you a Jo? - 'Cause I'm tough. 269 00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:16,332 I'm from Brooklyn. 270 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375 - You're from Brooklyn? - Mm-hmm. 271 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,454 How did I not know that? You don't sound like you're from Brooklyn. 272 00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,339 Oh, I used to have an accent. 273 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,383 - What'd you sound like? - Like someone from Brooklyn. 274 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,510 Like what? 275 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,971 Like this. 276 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,726 - That is fantastic. - I hate you. 277 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,841 - You are a Jo. - Yeah. 278 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,440 - Such a Jo. - Yeah, man, I'm a piece of work. 279 00:15:42,786 --> 00:15:47,529 According to my business partner, Christopher, my anger is an "issue." 280 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:49,948 Personally, 281 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,952 I think that your anger is understandable. 282 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,871 Well, you haven't been on the receiving end of it. 283 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,752 I mean... there are healthier ways of channeling it. 284 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,338 - Like meditation. - I meditate. 285 00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:06,714 In my own way. 286 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,088 ♪ You fucking prick, drop dead ♪ 287 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,512 ♪ You make me sick ♪ 288 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,222 ♪ Get out of my head! ♪ 289 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,895 ♪ You're the light ♪ 290 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:24,900 ♪ I'm the ghost, you're the night ♪ 291 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,778 ♪ I'm the shadow, you're the light ♪ 292 00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:30,948 Do you do this a lot? 293 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,782 Oh... 294 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,147 No, just every time I see a person-sized dent 295 00:16:35,181 --> 00:16:36,570 in the front bumper of a car. 296 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,373 Okay. 297 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:42,710 The cops say that hit-and-runs are almost impossible to solve, so... 298 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,714 But you feel like maybe you might find the person this way? 299 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:48,798 Nope. 300 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,509 But it makes you feel better? 301 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,343 Not really. 302 00:16:55,513 --> 00:16:56,598 I have an idea. 303 00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:00,941 What are you doing? 304 00:17:00,975 --> 00:17:02,477 - It's legal. Relax. - Oh, right. 305 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,068 Oh, no, thanks. 306 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,821 I'm just not... not really a drugs person. 307 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,157 It's not drugs. It's a plant. 308 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,867 And it will help you sleep. 309 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,244 Mm-hmm. 310 00:17:20,759 --> 00:17:23,674 Um... You totally smoke pot. 311 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,883 All right. I did with Ted, but it's... I mean, it's been years. 312 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,593 Well, I'm happy to reacquaint you. 313 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,221 Oh, yeah. 314 00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:39,440 You immediately feel nice. 315 00:17:39,796 --> 00:17:40,812 Yeah. 316 00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,523 Can I say something weird? 317 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,232 Please. 318 00:17:49,716 --> 00:17:50,716 Thank you. 319 00:17:51,668 --> 00:17:52,676 For what? 320 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:55,949 I don't know. Just for coming into my life, I guess, like... 321 00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:59,453 some weird little pot fairy. 322 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,456 And also just for not... 323 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:05,459 saying and doing the same stupid shit 324 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,419 that everybody says and does that just... 325 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:11,590 makes you feel more alone than you already are, you know? 326 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,552 And for not being repulsed by my version of grief. 327 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,057 Thank you. 328 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,310 - For the same. - Mm-hmm. 329 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,018 I know that it must be hard for you to be 330 00:18:26,052 --> 00:18:27,722 alone in that big house without Steve. 331 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,026 It is. 332 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,113 It's really hard. 333 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,114 I miss him. 334 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:38,991 I know. 335 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,536 I know you know. 336 00:18:44,213 --> 00:18:46,298 - Light's out. - You probably shouldn't have anymore. 337 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,895 - I don't think so, 'cause I... - Yeah. 338 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,170 ...can't feel my tongue. 339 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,505 You're so fucking high! 340 00:18:52,477 --> 00:18:53,477 Fuck. 341 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,801 Why did you give that to me? 342 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,933 I think I just peed! 343 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,228 Wait, I have to check. 344 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:08,730 - Oh, my God. - No, I didn't. 345 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:10,398 Oh, my God. 346 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:11,900 Oh, my God. 347 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,827 Good evening. 348 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,328 Good evening. 349 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,915 - Shall I come over? - Nope, because I'm coming to you. 350 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,583 What? 351 00:19:28,617 --> 00:19:30,577 Come on. You've been coming to me this whole time. 352 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,212 You don't even know where I live. 353 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,047 Oh, yes, I do. 354 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,924 And I'm pulling up right now. 355 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:02,575 Judy! 356 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:08,999 Can I help you? 357 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,002 You're Steve. 358 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,129 Yeah. 359 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:18,716 You're alive. 360 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:20,843 Yeah. 361 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,638 I'm sorry. It's 11:30 at night. 362 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,556 What's... What's happening? Do I know you? 363 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:26,975 No. I, uh... 364 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,580 heard a lot... 365 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,521 ...about you. 366 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:33,814 Is Judy here? 367 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,151 Judy doesn't live here anymore. 368 00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:38,390 - She doesn't? - No. We broke up two months ago. 369 00:20:41,834 --> 00:20:42,834 Wow. 370 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:45,577 This is, uh... 371 00:20:47,105 --> 00:20:48,126 Wow. 372 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,458 Hey, Jen. Um, I can explain. Please call me back. 373 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:55,420 I'm so sorry. Please. Please, please let me explain. 374 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,964 Wait. How do you know Judy? 375 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,917 - I thought she was a friend. - Okay. Well... 376 00:21:00,971 --> 00:21:02,434 If you see her, can you tell her to stop 377 00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:03,896 coming around here while I'm at work? 378 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,009 I'm gonna change the locks. 379 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,268 I'm... I'm sorry. I'm... I'm so sorry to bother you. 380 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,687 It's all right. I just gotta go. I'm running a bath. 381 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:12,770 Okay. 382 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:14,815 You know, um... 383 00:21:16,970 --> 00:21:19,264 maybe it's better if she doesn't know where you live. 384 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,363 Seller's market. 385 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:24,866 Again, I'm... I'm so sorry. 386 00:21:32,631 --> 00:21:34,633 What the fuck? Huh? 387 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,211 - Jen, please. - What? 388 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,638 - Please. I can explain. - Okay. Do. 389 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:38,749 What is going on? 390 00:21:38,783 --> 00:21:40,072 Why don't you tell them what's going on? 391 00:21:40,105 --> 00:21:42,232 - No. I... - Guess Kate & Allie are having trouble. 392 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,845 - It's very complicated. - No. It's not complicated. 393 00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:48,265 Her... fiance is not dead, okay? 394 00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:51,226 I mean, unless that was his ghost who answered the door last night, 395 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,770 because that... that would be fucking complicated. 396 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,648 But it's not complicated, Judy, because he's not fucking dead! 397 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,780 What the fuck? What, do you get off 398 00:21:58,835 --> 00:22:00,944 pretending you're going through the same thing I am? 399 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,404 - No. Of course not. - No? 400 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:05,365 Is this a game you're playing with me, with everybody else? 401 00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:07,868 Making up that whole fucking story? 402 00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:11,830 You don't belong here because he's not fucking dead, Judy. 403 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:13,665 He broke up with you! 404 00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:15,758 Probably 'cause you're a fucking lunatic 405 00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:17,467 who lies about him fucking being dead. 406 00:22:17,501 --> 00:22:19,437 - Jen, please settle down. - Let her talk. 407 00:22:19,470 --> 00:22:21,138 I don't wanna let her talk, Kyle! 408 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:25,802 Oh, now, see, this is getting real. Judy, you go ahead, honey. 409 00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:30,148 I don't know what to say. 410 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,393 Oh, my God. That was so powerful. Right, guys? Right? 411 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,479 Jen, I'm so sorry. 412 00:22:35,977 --> 00:22:37,561 You have no idea. 413 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,191 I... 414 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,110 I'm sorry to all of you. I really am. I... 415 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:46,323 I don't know why. I wasn't trying to pull anything or to hurt anyone. 416 00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,909 I never meant to hurt anyone. I swear to God. 417 00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:50,409 I just... 418 00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:57,416 It's true. 419 00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:00,087 Steve... is alive. 420 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:02,005 - Yeah, not dead. Alive. - Yeah. 421 00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:06,343 He didn't die two months ago. But I did lose him, 422 00:23:06,593 --> 00:23:07,719 because he broke up with me. 423 00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:10,514 - Oh, my God. That is not the same! - I know. 424 00:23:11,244 --> 00:23:12,244 I know. 425 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:20,023 It's just, he broke up with me because I... 426 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,862 He broke up with me because we really wanted to have kids. 427 00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:29,991 And we tried, and we tried for years, and... 428 00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:32,702 I couldn't. 429 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,165 I just kept having miscarriages. 430 00:23:39,042 --> 00:23:40,377 I'm so sorry. 431 00:23:41,700 --> 00:23:42,770 Thank you. 432 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,717 Let's get you to your room. 433 00:23:59,984 --> 00:24:01,569 That was my fifth one. 434 00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:07,404 I really thought that I was gonna have a baby and a family. 435 00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:13,584 And then to find out that there's just something that's broken inside of me... 436 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:17,789 I think just going through all that, 437 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,125 it messed me up a little bit. 438 00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:25,046 I swear, I'm not a bad person. 439 00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:27,674 I'm really not. I... 440 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,302 It doesn't matter. 441 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,096 I should have never come here. 442 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,851 Jen, I'm so sorry that I hurt you. 443 00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:39,728 It's the last thing that I wanted to do. 444 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,980 I really cherish our friendship. 445 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:45,859 No, I really do. 446 00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:50,947 Shit! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 447 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,824 Jesus Christ. 448 00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:55,827 That is a sad story. 449 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:56,911 Yeah, if you believe it. 450 00:24:57,996 --> 00:24:59,122 What's wrong with you? 451 00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:00,248 Me? 452 00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:02,125 - What about her? - Yeah. 453 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:03,710 Find a different group, Judy. 454 00:25:03,793 --> 00:25:05,003 Fuck, yeah, Linda. Thank you. 455 00:25:05,086 --> 00:25:08,089 Jen, Judy's in pain, and I know that you are, too, 456 00:25:08,570 --> 00:25:11,170 but that doesn't make it okay for you to attack someone like that. 457 00:25:11,429 --> 00:25:13,349 I mean, don't y'all hang out all the time? 458 00:25:13,428 --> 00:25:15,096 How did you not know any of that? 459 00:25:16,806 --> 00:25:17,849 I don't know. 460 00:25:18,892 --> 00:25:22,306 Well, either way, Judy has every right to sit in this circle. 461 00:25:22,384 --> 00:25:26,441 Yeah. I mean, in a way, her life is sadder than all of ours. 462 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:29,277 Oh, God. She lied, man. 463 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:32,364 Jen, everyone's grief manifests in different ways. 464 00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:36,079 Judy lied. You flew into this terrifying rage. 465 00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:38,453 We are all doing our best, 466 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:41,831 but you've got to start reconciling that anger inside of you. 467 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:45,158 Don't let it cause you more grief than you already have. 468 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,399 ♪ Oh, God ♪ 469 00:25:52,432 --> 00:25:53,767 ♪ You make me sick ♪ 470 00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:48,982 The bad news is, I may have gone overboard. 471 00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:53,069 Like, on some of my stories, I might have exaggerated a little, 472 00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:55,196 especially about Mrs. Garrett being drunk. 473 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,782 - Fuckin' Tootie. - She had her eyeballs diluted. 474 00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:05,745 - Oh, she's right that way. - Thank you. 475 00:27:14,752 --> 00:27:15,752 Hey. 476 00:27:16,259 --> 00:27:17,259 Hi. 477 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,768 - You could have just told me. - I know. 478 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:27,479 I just thought... But I didn't, so... 479 00:27:27,562 --> 00:27:29,648 I should have, but I didn't. I don't know why. 480 00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:32,275 Because you have issues. 481 00:27:33,234 --> 00:27:36,821 - You have no idea. - Yeah, well, I have them, too. 482 00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:40,450 - Well, you're allowed. - So are you, Judy. 483 00:27:40,984 --> 00:27:42,027 I mean... 484 00:27:42,786 --> 00:27:43,953 okay, it's weird... 485 00:27:44,245 --> 00:27:45,580 that you lied about Steve. 486 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,083 I mean, it's... it's fucked up, you know, but... 487 00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,961 maybe it's easier to lie about that than it is to... 488 00:27:52,045 --> 00:27:54,255 to just tell the truth about the other stuff. 489 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:56,799 Maybe. 490 00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,429 I'm really sorry that I said you didn't belong. 491 00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:04,974 And you've... you've lost a lot, too. 492 00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:08,520 But they were just miscarriages. It wasn't like I have actually... 493 00:28:08,603 --> 00:28:11,731 Well, I think it is an actual... thing. 494 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:14,901 I mean, not if a Republican is asking. But... 495 00:28:15,610 --> 00:28:17,153 you heard a heartbeat. 496 00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:20,156 And you fell in love in that heartbeat. 497 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:23,493 Yeah. 498 00:28:26,854 --> 00:28:29,791 Come on. I have tissues and whiskey in my room. 499 00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:32,293 - You live here? - Yeah. 500 00:28:32,794 --> 00:28:33,794 Here? 501 00:28:42,762 --> 00:28:44,514 - Thank you. - Yeah. 502 00:28:46,176 --> 00:28:50,353 So, this is where you were whenever we would talk on the phone, huh? 503 00:28:50,645 --> 00:28:51,646 Yeah. 504 00:28:52,188 --> 00:28:54,357 They're letting me stay here till I find a place. 505 00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,900 Rooms open up all the time. 506 00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,569 Oh, I'll bet. 507 00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:02,198 - God, the smell in here. - Yeah. 508 00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:03,532 Yeah. 509 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,535 But you get used to it. 510 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:07,328 Oh, okay. 511 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:10,745 I didn't think you were ever gonna talk to me again. 512 00:29:11,298 --> 00:29:14,102 - You were so angry. - I told you you wouldn't like it. 513 00:29:14,144 --> 00:29:15,396 I did not. 514 00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:18,131 - It was a little scary. - I'm sorry. 515 00:29:20,925 --> 00:29:21,968 Look, um... 516 00:29:24,053 --> 00:29:25,889 my guesthouse is open. 517 00:29:26,055 --> 00:29:29,768 Um... It used to be Ted's music studio, but... 518 00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:32,896 but he's... he's not using it. Um... 519 00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:35,774 But you're welcome to. 520 00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:37,317 Welcome to what? 521 00:29:38,401 --> 00:29:39,705 To come and stay with us. 522 00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:42,739 Wow, that's very generous. 523 00:29:43,531 --> 00:29:45,241 But you don't have to take pity on me 524 00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:47,577 just because I'm a 41-year-old barren woman 525 00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:49,829 sleeping in an assisted living facility. 526 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,289 Yes, I do. 527 00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:54,375 Seriously, come. 528 00:29:56,377 --> 00:29:57,587 It'd be nice having you there. 529 00:29:59,547 --> 00:30:00,632 Thank you. 530 00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:04,469 - Now can I give you a hug? - No. 531 00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:06,887 Come here. 532 00:30:12,727 --> 00:30:13,727 That's good. 533 00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:16,606 - You're a good hugger. - Aww. 534 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:19,442 All right. 535 00:30:19,526 --> 00:30:20,777 Here we go. 536 00:30:23,571 --> 00:30:24,572 Told you.