Hey, darling. Yes, I will hurry back. Bye.
(PHONE PINGS)
-I have nothing with me! -In that moment, you just left?
-Yeah! -So did I.
You know it's been 15 years? You remembered everything.
RUBY RICHARDSON: First train after five.
I was sure you wouldn't be there.
-BILLY: I was there. -How handsome.
♪ (THRILLING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
This is unforgivable. What will I say?
To who?
LAURENCE: Ruby, where the fuck have you been?
Whatever this is about just come home.
Ruby!
Thought I wasn't coming back?
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(birds chirping) -(keypad clicking)
(sighs)
(breathing heavily)
(ominous music plays)
(text whooshes)
-(ominous music playing) -(heartbeat thumping)
-(phone ringing, buzzing) -(phone thuds)
(sniffles) Hey.
(sniffling) Yeah.
I've gone for a walk.
Yeah, just in a forest somewhere.
Okay, fine. I'm in my room.
Don't...
Please don't bring them 'round here. I'm not...
-(clattering) -I'm not apologizing, Fiona.
You're coming now?
(phone chimes, buzzes)
(ominous music playing)
(heartbeat thumping)
-(music fades) -(thumping fades)
Yeah, great. Bring 'em 'round.
Yeah. Bring 'em all.
I'll see you in a second. Can't wait.
(frenetic, driving instrumental music playing)
(slams door)
♪ ♪
(door rolling open)
(gasps)
Top-notch turndown.
Tripadvisor will be hearing from us.
(clears throat, chuckles)
(sighs)
-I'm sorry. Should we... -What?
...talk first?
Sexy talk?
Because I still don't do that.
(train horn blaring)
What about?
Uh...
Um, I don't...
I'm not the same person I used to be.
-Of course you're not. -It's been a long time.
Things change. (chuckles)
-Oh. -Mm.
-Does it bother you? -Yeah.
No. I mean, I don't know.
Oh God, that makes me feel terrible.
No, no, no. No, it doesn't bother me.
-I'm sorry I said that. -No, no. I was gonna do, um...
-body sculpting. -Body sculpting?
Yeah, there are, like, procedures--
Oh no! Jesus Christ! No, no! I didn't mean that.
-You don't do that. -No, no, it's just age. It's just age.
-What is? What is? -You know, you've, you've, you've um,
you've taken from life, and so, in return,
you need to give of your flesh or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think I see.
I don't know. I can't make jokes anymore.
I can only make confusing half-jokes.
I kind of like them better.
Aw, don't-- Listen, listen.
If you could find a plastic surgeon
who would change... any of this,
I would say that he was evil.
Well, why is the, um...
the evil surgeon a man?
Because men dominate the upper echelons of the workforce.
So, I was referencing that injustice.
(whispering): You know I hate injustice.
(both chuckling)
(clears throat)
(chuckling)
(clears throat)
(sighs)
(both panting, moaning softly)
-(body thuds) -(Billy groans)
It's okay, I'm fine.
(moaning)
-(water rushing) -Ruby: Oh!
-Oh, my. -(Billy chuckles)
-(clattering) -Ruby: Oh!
Um...
(clattering)
-(toilet flushes) -Aah, for fuck's sake!
-Oh! Hey! -Swiss Army Knife of a room. I'm sorry--
Okay, hey! No! Just go with it. Go with it.
-Come here. -(Billy chuckles)
(clears throat)
I can't...
Ooh! Babe... (laughs)
-That was my balls. -(Ruby laughing)
(moaning, panting)
-(rattling) -Aah! Fucking fuck that!
(muffled laughing)
-(thuds) -Billy: Oh!
-Fuck me! -Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm so happy.
-Oh... Um... -(groans)
-(whispers) I'm going up here. -Don't go up there. You'll get us both killed.
-(smooches) -It'll be just like back in the dorms.
(sighs)
(bed creaking)
Come get me.
Ruby, wait. I-I-I don't think--
Oh, you just, you need to step on that thing,
and then you sort of, um,
twizzle yourself in midair.
Okay. (sighs)
-(ominous music playing) -(heartbeats thumping)
(phone buzzing)
-(buzzing continuing) -(Billy moans)
(buzzing continuing)
Mmm. Isn't that...?
It sounds like you're needed by someone.
Well, maybe I'm just wanted.
Yeah, yeah, well, I--
-(buzzing stops) -(sighs)
Um...
-Uh, they'll call back. -"They"?
(buzzing)
Are "they" poised at the end of the phone,
hoping for a moment with the elusive Ruby Dixie?
So as you can see,
I haven't checked.
Well, maybe you should check.
(buzzing stops)
Gone.
-Are you happy? -Are you happy?
Is there something that you wanna say to me?
(scoffs)
Clearly, you haven't grown up.
Well, you would know.
(phone buzzing)
-Are we aborting? -What does that-- No. No.
-(Billy grunts) -(buzzing stops)
It's cool.
(sighs)
You wanna be frigid?
-Excuse me, I'm not frigid. -Oh, don't get offended.
-You gaslighting me now? -(grunts) Oh, chill your boots.
-You know what? Maybe we just get some rest. -(phone buzzing)
Ruby: Oh my God. That's such good advice.
I'm just so tired and irrational,
and I really need a strong, level-headed man to gently suggest to me
that I get some fucking rest!
(phone buzzing)
(slams)
(thumping footsteps recede)
Honey, I'm in a bad place.
-Laurence (over phone): I know you are, but-- -Um, for reception.
-Well, can you move? -Well, it's a yoga retreat,
-so there is no reception. -(Laurence sighs)
Look, I'm sorry, but I need you on the phone right now.
I'm trying to do everything here. There's a...
sax lesson tomorrow. I don't know what time it is.
-Also, where is the school? -I'll text it to you,
only Hunter doesn't have saxophone tomorrow.
Um, tomorrow they go to Tae Kwon Do,
so you need to get him from sax on Thursday.
You're... you're not gonna be home by Thursday?
(inhales)
One week, all right?
-Just one week. -Well, I have tennis on the weekend,
-so I don't really-- -Baby!
(sighs) Fine.
Thank you so much!
I should go. I have really needed this.
-Namaste. -(PA chimes)
-Shh... -Man (over PA): Next stop, Cleveland, folks.
Please gather your belongings
if you're detraining at Cleveland.
Okay, thank you, darling, bye.
(sighs)
Billy: Hey.
You're wearing your clothes.
Yeah, they don't like nudity
-in the corridors, so-- -What are we doing here? (scoffs)
(sighs)
How was your phone call?
Tell me you want me right now.
-I could tell you some other things... -No.
-...and you could tell me-- -No, I don't want talking.
Do you wanna fuck me or not?
Not right now.
Well, I turned up to have sex,
so get this.
I'm gonna have incredible sex
with whoever's next to walk out of that bathroom.
-What if he's a she? -Wouldn't be the first time.
If you are referring to your dalliance with that sophomore,
-that does not count. -Are you jealous?
I'm excited for you.
(clicks tongue)
Been in there a long time.
Shut up.
(door clicks, rolls)
-Ruby (whispers): Wow. -Billy: Oh...
Okay. This, I was not expecting.
-He's hot. -He's a New York City 7.
Oh, but I'll be damned if he ain't an Amtrak 10.
-Excuse me. -Billy: Sorry.
He smells delicious.
-Mm. -Okay.
Look, he's... he's at least 10 years younger than you,
so...
Get your stuff and get out of my roomette
'cause I'm gonna need it.
♪ ♪
(indistinct announcement over PA)
(sighs)
(clears throat)
You know... I couldn't help but notice,
you really took your time in that bathroom.
-Sorry? -Oh, hi. Um,
oh, I-I was just saying, um...
Yeah, I couldn't help but notice you, like... (chuckles)
really took your time in that bathroom.
-Um... I'm sorry. -(chuckles)
Uh, I was trying to be...
I don't know what I was trying to be.
I'm Derek.
Dolores.
Sure.
So then, Dolores,
-what do you do? -Me? Um...
big architect.
Do you want another drink?
Are you nervous?
Well, you know more people die on trains
than cars and planes combined.
-I don't think that's true. -No, I don't either, really.
(both laugh)
And what do you do?
-Derek: I'm into wellness. -Billy: Can I have a beer, please?
Derek: I have an almond butter patent.
A lot of focus these days is actually on peanut butter,
-but, believe it or not, the peanut is not actually a nut-- -Hey.
So, um...
do you think you could...
give me a hand with something in my roomette?
-(beer pops) -Derek: What's the problem?
-(slurping) -Let's just say it's dirty.
Your roomette's dirty?
You should complain. They're so expensive.
Um, Derek,
would you like to come back to my room with me?
Well, not if it's dirty.
Oh.
Yes, please.
Billy: Hey.
Hey!
-Derek: You know this guy? -(Billy scoffs)
We met earlier.
♪ ♪
(whispers): So...
-That is... (laughs) Um... -(Derek laughs)
(sighs)
And I would offer to give you the tour, but it would take less time
than it takes to complete this sentence.
It's okay. We don't actually have to do anything
-if you don't want. -What?
Why?
-What do you...? -That guy out there?
Maybe.
♪ ♪
(keyboard clacking)
Hmm.
(Billy sighs)
Jesus Christ.
(ukuleles playing)
♪ ♪
(train horn blares)
(phone chimes, buzzes)
-Oh, fuck off! -(pounds)
Sorry. Not you.
Can I have a...
And one for yourself.
We're not allowed to.
Okay.
(phone buzzing)
(sighs) Fiona, will you fuck off?!
(whispers): Sorry.
I'm not headed to Chicago.
How do you know where I'm going?
I can keep running away.
Because I don't want to do this anymore.
You've been amazing, but, uh...
-it's over. -(phone clicks)
(chuckles)
I bet you get a lot of lonely hearts in here,
chatting you up of an evening.
Not usually so soon after dumping their girlfriend.
That wasn't my girlfriend.
-(bartender scoffs) -And I, I wasn't...
I wasn't chatting you up.
Derek: Well, if you think that's been enough time
to convince that guy we did the fandango,
-I think I'll call it a night. -Of course.
I'm so sorry about all of this.
Don't mention it.
-(chuckles) -It's been... new.
Hmm.
-Hey, what is it you're gonna tell him we did in here? -(laughs)
(sighs) You know,
it's been so long, I don't even have
-the imagination to make it up. -Huh.
Well, you want me to tell you what I would've done?
Yes.
-Well, you seem a little tense... -(laughs)
...so I'd start by rubbing your back.
And then I'd slip the shirt off your shoulders.
I'd get you to tell me when the pressure was too hard,
and then I'd go just a little bit harder.
I'd inhale the perfume on your neck
and get completely focused on the sensations
I was causing in you.
Those little flickers.
-Your nipples hardening. -(Ruby sighs)
That moment when you tightened inside.
Once I sensed you were responding to me like that,
I'd lift you onto this bed here,
take your jeans off,
then take a second look into your eyes
and enjoy knowing how wet I was making you.
And then you would...
Oh.
Oh, continue.
Sexy talk is a two-way street.
Oh.
Oh, I, I can't. Um...
Well, um, maybe I can-- No, I can't.
-Derek: Okay. -(sighs)
Too bad.
(laughs)
(sighs)
Oh...
(inhales)
-Bartender: What can I get you? -Derek: Uh, bourbon.
Okay.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
(hydraulic door hisses open)
Billy: Well?
Nothing happened.
Well, I mean, I say nothing, but...
Did something happen?
No.
Obviously. Come on.
-So, you were joking with me? -Kind of.
Why'd you do it?
You hurt my pride.
Don't hurt my pride.
Okay?
Okay.
Um... (clears throat) Look,
-what were you doing in there? -Oh, he said a few things.
(whispering): Made me feel a bit unwashed.
You did sexy talk?
-(whispers): You did sexy talk?! -He did.
Uh, this is my good friend, Cherise.
-Hi. -Hi.
Cherise and I have been up all night together, drinking,
-isn't that right? -No.
Yes, we have. And I don't want it to stop now,
so I've got the best drinking game for the two of us, okay?
-Cherise, will you please join us? -I can't.
What about him?
-Oh no. You're all right. -No, they want-- they want you to play a drinking game.
-Billy: No, really, you're fine. -I'm in.
-Hey, man. -Derek: Hey, Dolores. Hey.
-Her name's not Dolores. -Didn't matter to us.
Ladies and gentlemen, the name of the game is
"Mmm, water,"
and it's a game of deception.
Cherise, I need some mini shots of vodka, and tequila,
Sambuca, and also some mini shots
-of mmm... water! -(Ruby snickers)
-(train horn blaring) -All: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
-Drink! Drink! -Billy: Oop.
(clears throat)
Water. (giggles)
-Billy: Truth. -Definitely lies.
I don't believe her.
-Billy: True, I promise you. -Derek: Bullshit.
Check it.
(sniffs)
It was water, again.
-Billy: Told you so. -Oh! Drink.
(laughs)
Billy: Aw, you know, don't, ...don't feel bad.
Dolores and I have been playing games together
-for a very long time. -So, was that bluff double--?
-(PA chimes) -Man (over PA): Well, folks, we'll soon be arriving
at Union Station, Chicago.
-Next stop... -Ruby: Okay, party's over.
-No. -Hey, Billy, do you wanna...?
We're having fun. This is fun, Ruby. Come on, Ruby.
Ruby.
Derek, Billy: Ruby! Ruby! Ruby!
-What! Oh, oh, oh. -Come on, sit down, you lightweight.
Lightweight? Please, I used to drink his ass under the table when I was 19.
Well, everyone can see you're not 19 anymore,
so...
Billy: What? Oh, don't--
Billy: Ruby!
Come on. (sighs)
You know I didn't mean anything by that.
You know, it's true, but--
Well, no, you were jealous of Derek,
and so you waited all night to humiliate me?
-That's not what happened. -I can't believe that you would pick
on the one subject that you knew would hurt me the most.
Oh God! The only one obsessed with the way you look is you!
And it's boring and it's superficial and it's vain!
I thought seeing you again would make me feel good,
and instead, it just makes me feel sad.
-(PA chimes) -Man (over PA): Union Station, Chicago.
(brakes screeching)
Where-where are you going?
Oh, I'm going home, Billy. Move.
-I'm sorry, okay? -Don't be sorry.
This is good! I have a life with consequences,
and thank God we didn't do anything
that I can't take back.
(scoffs)
♪ ♪
(woman speaking indistinctly over PA)
(keypad clicking)
(woman speaking indistinctly over PA)
(sighs)
(beeping)
-(card clicks) -(sighs)
(keypad beeping)
(beeping)
(line ringing)
(ringing)
Come on, Laurence, pick up.
(ATM beeping)
Laurence (voice mail): Hi there! You've reached the Richardsons!
Leave a message for Laurence, Hunter or Scooter after the beep.
If you're looking for Ruby, she ran out on her family yesterday.
We don't know where she is, why she left,
-or when she's coming back! Have a great day! -(voice mail beeps)
♪ ♪
("Just Ask" by Lake Street Dive playing)
♪ Love's an addiction, baby ♪
♪ There's a rehab for every kind ♪
♪ Lay your head down, baby ♪
♪ Tell me what's on your mind ♪
♪ You've got so many heartaches ♪
♪ Take 'em one at a time ♪
♪ Imagine each one's a man ♪
♪ Takes a number ♪
♪ Stands in a line ♪
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
♪ So just ask ♪
♪ Just ask ♪
♪ Baby, just ask ♪
♪ I'll do anything for you ♪
♪ All you got to do is ask ♪
♪ So, just ask ♪
♪ Baby, baby ♪
♪ Just ask ♪
♪ I'll do anything for you ♪
♪ All you got to do is ask ♪
RUBY: I always used to fantasize that I was two people.
The normal one that lived with him...
-WOMAN: Run! -...and then this fun person.
Oh, my God! (LAUGHS)
-I've run away from my kids! -What?
WOMAN: You're gonna be facing some serious lawsuits.
BILLY: I will deal with that. This is no longer your concern.
WOMAN: If I wanted cash, I'd want a hell of a lot more
than this before I let you forget about me.
♪ (OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS) ♪