1
00:00:21,331 --> 00:00:23,161
Okay, so, I know this is
my first time
2
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,266
doing therapy in decades,
3
00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:25,335
and, look, I’m nervous,
4
00:00:25,335 --> 00:00:27,804
but, uh, there’s
a strong aroma...
5
00:00:27,804 --> 00:00:30,273
Eh, am I recalling
a repressed memory?
6
00:00:30,273 --> 00:00:32,242
That’s Resignation
and Cautious Hope.
7
00:00:32,242 --> 00:00:33,310
Essential oils.
8
00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:35,210
I have a diffuser.
9
00:00:35,211 --> 00:00:37,080
So, Roberta Songthrush...
10
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,710
‐It’s Bertie.
‐Bertie.
11
00:00:38,715 --> 00:00:40,215
[Duck Therapist]
You’re 31, you work
12
00:00:40,216 --> 00:00:41,316
at a magazine publisher
13
00:00:41,318 --> 00:00:43,053
but run a baking business
out of your apartment.
14
00:00:43,053 --> 00:00:45,653
You feel guilty for not
composting your kitchen scraps.
15
00:00:45,655 --> 00:00:47,891
You want therapy because you
suffer severe panic attacks
16
00:00:47,891 --> 00:00:50,191
brought on by crippling anxiety
and lingering trauma.
17
00:00:50,193 --> 00:00:53,063
Standard stuff. Tell me about
the people closest to you.
18
00:00:53,063 --> 00:00:54,963
Well, Tuca’s my best friend.
19
00:00:54,965 --> 00:00:56,533
We hang out constantly.
20
00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:58,301
She knows all three
of my secrets.
21
00:00:58,301 --> 00:01:00,131
She’s my socialist
elected president.
22
00:01:00,136 --> 00:01:02,305
We’re just like this, you know?
23
00:01:02,305 --> 00:01:04,040
Tuca. Got it. Anyone else?
24
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,470
Hmm. Oh, yeah.
25
00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:07,510
Oh, my boyfriend
of five years. Speckle.
26
00:01:07,510 --> 00:01:09,779
We live together.
27
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:12,109
It’s clear that Tuca
is a toxic element in your life
28
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,215
and you need to cut her out.
29
00:01:13,216 --> 00:01:15,118
Plus, your names sound wrong
together.
30
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,378
Tuca and Bertie.
Tuca and Bertie.
31
00:01:17,387 --> 00:01:18,555
Bertie and Tuca?
32
00:01:18,555 --> 00:01:20,123
No, that doesn’t work either.
33
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,223
Tuca and...
34
00:01:21,224 --> 00:01:22,492
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
35
00:01:22,492 --> 00:01:23,722
♪ Bertie & Tuca
And Tuca & Bertie ♪
36
00:01:23,727 --> 00:01:25,537
♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪
[vocalizes]
37
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,289
[crowd cheers]
38
00:01:27,297 --> 00:01:28,698
‐ ♪ Tuca ♪
‐ ♪ Bertie ♪
39
00:01:28,698 --> 00:01:31,298
[Tuca and Bertie vocalizing]
40
00:01:32,602 --> 00:01:35,872
[vocalizing continues]
41
00:01:36,573 --> 00:01:39,042
You want me to cut Tuca?
42
00:01:39,042 --> 00:01:40,342
Out of your life, yes.
43
00:01:40,343 --> 00:01:41,643
And ditch the boyfriend, too.
44
00:01:41,645 --> 00:01:44,214
I suggest
a full relationship detox.
45
00:01:44,214 --> 00:01:46,082
That’s terrible advice!
46
00:01:46,082 --> 00:01:47,682
What kind of therapist are you?
47
00:01:47,684 --> 00:01:49,624
I specialize
in severing attachments.
48
00:01:51,187 --> 00:01:52,622
Didn’t your co‐worker Claudette
tell you
49
00:01:52,622 --> 00:01:54,022
when she gave you the referral?
50
00:01:54,024 --> 00:01:55,224
[Claudette groans]
51
00:01:55,225 --> 00:01:56,593
Uh, Claudette didn’t
52
00:01:56,593 --> 00:01:58,293
and, now that
I’m thinking about it,
53
00:01:58,294 --> 00:02:00,594
hasn’t otherwise spoken to me
in three years.
54
00:02:00,597 --> 00:02:03,007
Mm‐hmm. We felt your energy
was negative to her growth.
55
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:05,200
I’m gonna take off.
56
00:02:05,201 --> 00:02:06,870
Aah! That’s the spirit!
57
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:09,439
Cut me out of your life!
Start fresh!
58
00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:10,969
[Tuca] What a loon!
59
00:02:10,974 --> 00:02:12,474
Right? I mean, who knew
60
00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:14,344
finding a good therapist
would be this hard?
61
00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:16,279
What do you need
a therapist for?
62
00:02:16,279 --> 00:02:17,439
Just do what I do.
63
00:02:17,447 --> 00:02:19,883
Spew all those bad feelings
into a cup,
64
00:02:19,883 --> 00:02:22,118
turn it over,
and push it behind the toilet.
65
00:02:22,118 --> 00:02:26,648
[playful music]
66
00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:30,092
I feel great!
67
00:02:30,093 --> 00:02:31,723
I need a professional, Tuca.
68
00:02:31,728 --> 00:02:34,164
You know, if your car’s broken,
you go to a mechanic.
69
00:02:34,164 --> 00:02:35,532
Well, my brains are broken.
70
00:02:35,532 --> 00:02:36,732
Speckle planned this nice
71
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:38,433
anniversary dinner
tomorrow night
72
00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:39,869
and it should be no big deal,
73
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:43,169
but even that’s giving me
gut cramps and beak sweats!
74
00:02:43,173 --> 00:02:44,841
I just need to see a good shrink
75
00:02:44,841 --> 00:02:46,641
for like a session or two,
then boom!
76
00:02:46,643 --> 00:02:48,578
No more panic attacks! Easy!
77
00:02:48,578 --> 00:02:51,108
Aw, I thought I was your
panic mechanic!
78
00:02:51,114 --> 00:02:52,582
I can’t always rely on you.
79
00:02:52,582 --> 00:02:54,982
Plus, you’re busy going
on all your dates!
80
00:02:54,984 --> 00:02:56,484
Online dating sucks.
81
00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:58,455
I can’t encapsulate my raw,
82
00:02:58,455 --> 00:03:00,795
enigmatic allure in a profile.
83
00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:04,060
I don’t need more love!
84
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:06,190
My heart is like a training bra.
85
00:03:06,196 --> 00:03:08,064
You can only fit
so much titty in there.
86
00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:09,599
I already love you so much,
87
00:03:09,599 --> 00:03:11,859
I don’t have space in my heart
for anyone else.
88
00:03:11,868 --> 00:03:13,937
You’re still wearing
training bras?
89
00:03:13,937 --> 00:03:15,071
I’m still learning!
90
00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:16,571
I’m no Dr. Esther Emu
91
00:03:16,573 --> 00:03:20,173
but sounds like you’re denying
your emotional needs.
92
00:03:20,176 --> 00:03:21,311
Dr. Esther Emu?
93
00:03:21,311 --> 00:03:23,880
but sounds like you’re denying
your emotional needs.
94
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,980
[Esther] And when he calls you
a little baby bird‐child,
95
00:03:26,983 --> 00:03:28,053
how do you feel?
96
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:31,020
[Esther] And when he calls you
a little baby bird‐child,
97
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:32,088
[sobbing]
98
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:33,788
Aw, shit, Bertie!
We’re in an intersection!
99
00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:35,520
‐[tires screech]
‐[horn honks]
100
00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:37,825
I’d see her,
but she’s all booked up.
101
00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:39,162
Now how am I supposed to know
102
00:03:39,162 --> 00:03:41,392
which of these other shrinks
are any good?
103
00:03:41,397 --> 00:03:43,366
Same deal
with these dating sites.
104
00:03:43,366 --> 00:03:45,335
These people either look
too outdoorsy,
105
00:03:45,335 --> 00:03:47,604
or way too indoorsy.
106
00:03:47,604 --> 00:03:50,204
I wish I could date
a group of people all at once
107
00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:52,876
and eliminate them one by one...
108
00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:54,144
[gasps]
109
00:03:54,144 --> 00:03:55,612
Like a reality show.
110
00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:58,181
Yeah, I wish I could date
a bunch of therapists
111
00:03:58,181 --> 00:03:59,449
and then just choose one.
112
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:00,679
[Joanne] Oh, you can.
113
00:04:00,683 --> 00:04:03,520
You’re free to see as many
therapists as you’d like.
114
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,520
Be a cognitive behavioral slut!
115
00:04:05,522 --> 00:04:06,990
Oh, don’t you want me
to choose you?
116
00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:09,259
I could be the best therapist
in the world
117
00:04:09,259 --> 00:04:11,659
and still not be right for you.
118
00:04:11,661 --> 00:04:14,330
So what’s making you anxious
lately?
119
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:17,100
Oh, you know,
just the usual stuff.
120
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,800
Also, Speckle and I
121
00:04:18,802 --> 00:04:20,802
are celebrating our anniversary
tomorrow night.
122
00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:23,039
That seems like something
you could keep low key.
123
00:04:23,039 --> 00:04:24,239
Too late.
124
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,740
Uh, Bertie.
[chuckles]
125
00:04:26,743 --> 00:04:29,579
I got us a spot at Two Twigs,
126
00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:31,339
the hippest new restaurant
in Bird Town.
127
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:33,616
I called every day for a month
and it finally worked,
128
00:04:33,616 --> 00:04:36,486
when I abbreviated reservation
to res.
129
00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:37,686
Then they knew I was cool.
130
00:04:37,687 --> 00:04:40,490
Uh, that sounds intimidating.
131
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:42,058
Yup! I can’t wait!
132
00:04:42,058 --> 00:04:42,958
[sighs]
133
00:04:42,959 --> 00:04:45,019
Yup! I can’t wait!
134
00:04:45,028 --> 00:04:46,930
to keep this night
from being perfect!
135
00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:48,798
[groans]
136
00:04:48,798 --> 00:04:52,098
Look, I know it’s silly,
but... I can’t stop worrying
137
00:04:52,101 --> 00:04:55,371
I’m gonna have a panic attack
and ruin our anniversary.
138
00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:57,501
So what normally happens
when you panic?
139
00:04:57,507 --> 00:04:59,142
Well, Speckle and Tuca help me.
140
00:04:59,142 --> 00:05:00,510
Which is terrible.
141
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:01,810
I’m such a burden on them.
142
00:05:01,811 --> 00:05:03,341
Like if I bomb this dinner,
143
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:04,914
Speckle will for sure dump me
144
00:05:04,914 --> 00:05:06,549
and get
a super chill girlfriend,
145
00:05:06,549 --> 00:05:08,349
and she’ll be Tuca’s
new best friend...
146
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:09,681
I know how to surf.
147
00:05:09,686 --> 00:05:11,454
And I never shit.
148
00:05:11,454 --> 00:05:13,623
[chuckles]
149
00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:16,559
Tuca and Speckle haven’t
dumped you yet...
150
00:05:16,559 --> 00:05:17,689
But they will.
151
00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:18,928
I’m like a haunted house.
152
00:05:18,928 --> 00:05:20,488
I look charming on the outside,
153
00:05:20,496 --> 00:05:22,632
but the more I let
other people in,
154
00:05:22,632 --> 00:05:24,232
the more they’ll see
what I’m really like.
155
00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:28,804
And it’ll be too much
because I’m freakin’ haunted.
156
00:05:28,805 --> 00:05:30,805
Maybe they wanna go
into a haunted house?
157
00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:32,408
And they wanna help?
158
00:05:32,408 --> 00:05:33,768
[Bertie]
I’ve got like creepy girls
159
00:05:33,776 --> 00:05:36,379
facing the corner
with no face and shit!
160
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:40,079
You don’t have to fix yourself
before letting them in.
161
00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:43,083
Nope. Nope. I didn’t come here
to not fix myself.
162
00:05:43,086 --> 00:05:45,186
I could have done that
in not‐therapy.
163
00:05:45,188 --> 00:05:47,390
I’m here because I’m fixin’
to get fixed!
164
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,490
If you can’t help me,
165
00:05:48,491 --> 00:05:50,121
I’ll just keep trying other
therapists.
166
00:05:50,126 --> 00:05:51,126
Totally cool.
167
00:05:51,127 --> 00:05:53,029
We’ve got 20 minutes left
on the clock
168
00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:56,129
so I’m gonna watch
pottery fail videos
169
00:05:56,132 --> 00:05:57,702
if you wanna join me.
170
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:02,470
[laughing]
171
00:06:02,472 --> 00:06:03,640
[shrieks]
172
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,609
The pot was so beautiful
and now it’s mud.
173
00:06:06,609 --> 00:06:08,909
It’s just freaking mud!
174
00:06:08,912 --> 00:06:10,412
[laughing]
175
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,653
[upbeat music]
176
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,620
‐[horn honks]
‐Y’all here for a date with me?
177
00:06:19,622 --> 00:06:20,690
I sure am!
178
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:23,520
Oh, I see... I see everyone is.
179
00:06:23,526 --> 00:06:25,428
Wowzers, this is a development!
180
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:28,488
Well, toot toot,
ya crazy romantics!
181
00:06:28,498 --> 00:06:31,567
And get on the Sex Bus!
182
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:34,570
Uh, I was just waiting
for my bus! To go home?
183
00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:36,270
You’re not going home
until you compete
184
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,672
for my casual interest,
you little cutie.
185
00:06:38,675 --> 00:06:40,175
I have a husband!
186
00:06:40,176 --> 00:06:41,711
All aboard!
187
00:06:41,711 --> 00:06:43,241
[upbeat music]
188
00:06:43,246 --> 00:06:44,213
Welcome to Sex Bus!
189
00:06:44,213 --> 00:06:47,951
[upbeat music]
190
00:06:47,951 --> 00:06:50,251
All of you have
an equal chance at winning.
191
00:06:50,253 --> 00:06:51,821
Except you.
192
00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:55,091
I’m sorry, I can already tell
this isn’t gonna work out.
193
00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:56,759
I’m getting bad vibes
right away.
194
00:06:56,759 --> 00:06:59,228
Is it the eyebrow ring?
It’s fake.
195
00:06:59,228 --> 00:07:01,228
Uh... and your voice.
196
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,899
Look, I hate to do this...
197
00:07:02,899 --> 00:07:04,499
Well, screw you, Tucaloo!
198
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,700
Come on, I’m a great lady!
199
00:07:06,703 --> 00:07:10,039
Ew, and your personality! Bleh!
200
00:07:10,039 --> 00:07:10,969
It’s all bad.
201
00:07:10,974 --> 00:07:13,574
‐You’re eliminated.
‐[buzzer buzzes]
202
00:07:13,576 --> 00:07:14,844
But, silver lining,
203
00:07:14,844 --> 00:07:16,612
I need a bus driver!
You’re hired.
204
00:07:16,612 --> 00:07:17,942
Maybe, in the end,
205
00:07:17,947 --> 00:07:20,950
you’ll realize it was me
you loved all along?
206
00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:23,619
Woof. Definitely not.
207
00:07:23,619 --> 00:07:25,819
[upbeat music]
208
00:07:28,024 --> 00:07:30,460
There are so many therapists.
209
00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:32,090
How do you choose one?
210
00:07:32,095 --> 00:07:33,235
[Bertie] Ooh.
211
00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:35,330
[trills]
212
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:37,805
Argh!
213
00:07:39,469 --> 00:07:41,499
Hey, Claudette. Cute outfit!
214
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:42,672
[Claudette groans]
215
00:07:42,672 --> 00:07:45,812
Your therapist referral sucked.
216
00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:48,611
[Bertie] Argh!
217
00:07:48,611 --> 00:07:51,681
[mouse clicking]
218
00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:59,022
Bertie, what are you doing?
219
00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,752
[warbling]
220
00:08:03,426 --> 00:08:05,361
Bertie! What have you done?
221
00:08:05,361 --> 00:08:06,461
[phone buzzes]
222
00:08:09,298 --> 00:08:10,398
[frustrated groan]
223
00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:15,605
Ah, Bertie, I was just not
thinking about you.
224
00:08:15,605 --> 00:08:16,705
How can I help you
225
00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:18,206
and/or get you out of my office
quickly?
226
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,075
Hey, Holland!
227
00:08:19,075 --> 00:08:21,344
and/or get you out of my office
quickly?
228
00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:22,678
Psychological emergency!
229
00:08:22,678 --> 00:08:24,708
Ah, I’m in full support
of employees
230
00:08:24,714 --> 00:08:25,882
taking mental health days.
231
00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:28,882
Cuts down
on the number of incidents.
232
00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:30,953
Well, let me know if you have
a therapist you like.
233
00:08:30,953 --> 00:08:32,889
[chuckles]
’Cause, uh, I’m on the hunt.
234
00:08:32,889 --> 00:08:35,089
Oh, no, I’m British and over 60.
235
00:08:35,091 --> 00:08:37,760
I’ve never even considered
going to a "funny doctor".
236
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:38,990
I’m very happy.
237
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,662
[groans]
238
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:45,034
Okay. Well. See you tomorrow!
239
00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:47,070
Come on, Holly,
be a good soldier.
240
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:49,940
Your ex remarried. She’s happy!
241
00:08:50,273 --> 00:08:52,043
[groans]
242
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:53,638
Here’s the deal.
243
00:08:57,046 --> 00:09:00,516
I just want a surefire way
to fix panic attacks.
244
00:09:01,317 --> 00:09:02,987
By 6:00 p. m. today.
245
00:09:04,454 --> 00:09:05,721
And, go!
246
00:09:05,721 --> 00:09:07,551
Transitional object work.
247
00:09:07,557 --> 00:09:08,958
Take this crystal.
248
00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:10,658
[Scarf Therapist]
When you feel anxious,
249
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:13,160
hold the crystal in your hand.
250
00:09:13,162 --> 00:09:14,062
Can I keep this?
251
00:09:14,063 --> 00:09:15,563
I’ll add it to your bill.
252
00:09:15,565 --> 00:09:17,465
[panting]
253
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:20,470
To manually reset your
socially neurotic brain,
254
00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:21,400
repeat whatever it is
255
00:09:21,404 --> 00:09:23,339
your conversation partner
is saying.
256
00:09:23,339 --> 00:09:25,669
Repeat whatever it is
your partner is saying.
257
00:09:25,675 --> 00:09:27,510
Okay. Stop repeating me.
258
00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:28,740
Stop repeating me.
259
00:09:28,744 --> 00:09:31,414
You are
a very handsome therapist?
260
00:09:31,414 --> 00:09:33,054
What?
261
00:09:33,749 --> 00:09:35,579
[panting]
262
00:09:35,585 --> 00:09:37,620
When I feel anxious,
263
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:41,390
I like to list colors
in the room to distract myself.
264
00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:45,420
Blue... Blue... Blue...
265
00:09:45,428 --> 00:09:47,096
‐Blue.
‐Blue. Mm‐hm.
266
00:09:47,096 --> 00:09:48,896
‐[elevator bell dings]
‐[pants]
267
00:09:48,898 --> 00:09:50,766
You need to be kinder
to yourself.
268
00:09:50,766 --> 00:09:52,535
Like, you’re not
a haunted house!
269
00:09:52,535 --> 00:09:55,204
You’re so pretty and cool!
270
00:09:55,204 --> 00:09:57,773
Oh, that was just a metaphor.
271
00:09:57,773 --> 00:10:00,273
And your friend Tuca
sounds so fun.
272
00:10:00,276 --> 00:10:02,411
I wish I could hang out
with you guys.
273
00:10:02,411 --> 00:10:04,141
Uh... I gotta go.
274
00:10:04,147 --> 00:10:06,087
‐[Bertie] Thanks!
‐I’ll text you later!
275
00:10:09,819 --> 00:10:11,019
[phone buzzes]
276
00:10:11,354 --> 00:10:12,354
Eek!
277
00:10:28,137 --> 00:10:30,039
Previously on Sex Bus, a lively
278
00:10:30,039 --> 00:10:32,139
portrait painting session
showed us that beauty
279
00:10:32,141 --> 00:10:34,541
is in the eye
of the brush holder.
280
00:10:36,112 --> 00:10:38,042
Oh, jeez! Sorry!
281
00:10:38,047 --> 00:10:40,416
Ooh, that’s hot.
282
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,726
It’s a pleasure to observe you.
283
00:10:43,986 --> 00:10:45,988
This is technically proficient,
284
00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:48,118
but where’s the soul?
The passion?
285
00:10:48,124 --> 00:10:50,194
Sorry, you’re eliminated!
286
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,090
I don’t understand
what happened!
287
00:10:54,096 --> 00:10:55,496
[sobs]
288
00:10:55,498 --> 00:10:58,000
How did I get in this limo?
289
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,630
[Deep‐Voiced Man] Round Two
got immediately derailed
290
00:10:59,635 --> 00:11:02,772
when someone discovered
a bomb on the bus.
291
00:11:02,772 --> 00:11:04,402
Okay, cut the tan wire.
292
00:11:04,407 --> 00:11:06,142
Don’t touch the beige wire!
293
00:11:06,142 --> 00:11:08,542
[nervous groan]
I don’t see any wires!
294
00:11:08,945 --> 00:11:10,379
Argh!
295
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:12,239
I don’t know if I can do this!
296
00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:14,984
You can and you must!
Just hold her steady!
297
00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:16,352
Straight ahead!
298
00:11:16,352 --> 00:11:21,290
‐[Eager Willet] Aah!
‐[tires screeching]
299
00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:22,720
Oh! Whoo‐ho!
300
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,193
[Deep‐Voiced Man]
Fortunately, in the end,
301
00:11:24,193 --> 00:11:26,729
the bomb just turned out
to be lip balm.
302
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:29,329
From our sponsor,
Natural Selections.
303
00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:32,432
Finally, a lip balm
for animals without lips.
304
00:11:32,435 --> 00:11:34,403
Okay, none of this
makes any sense.
305
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:37,303
You’re eliminated!
Get out of here, logic police!
306
00:11:37,306 --> 00:11:39,642
I don’t date cops! Anymore.
307
00:11:39,642 --> 00:11:41,342
[chuckles]
308
00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:43,012
And here we are at Round Three,
309
00:11:43,012 --> 00:11:44,342
in which Tuca decides
310
00:11:44,347 --> 00:11:47,750
if a contestant
is a good voiceover announcer.
311
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,819
So...
312
00:11:49,819 --> 00:11:51,249
Sorry, it’s a pass.
313
00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:54,290
I’m not attracted
to a soothing male baritone.
314
00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:55,958
I wanna be agitated!
315
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:59,758
"Heartbreak", coming soon
to a man that is me!
316
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:04,300
I don’t think Sheena is here
for the right reasons.
317
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,369
But I am
and that’s to get to my street.
318
00:12:06,369 --> 00:12:07,969
Oh, here it is!
319
00:12:10,306 --> 00:12:12,508
For the next round, um...
320
00:12:12,508 --> 00:12:15,038
do you gals like,
uh... broccoli?
321
00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:16,944
Yeah! I love it!
322
00:12:16,946 --> 00:12:18,016
Wrong answer.
323
00:12:18,914 --> 00:12:20,049
There’s only room
324
00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:21,509
for one broccoli lover
in my life
325
00:12:21,517 --> 00:12:23,252
and that’s my best friend
Bertie.
326
00:12:23,252 --> 00:12:24,920
♪ Oh, I’m a big monster ♪
327
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:28,520
♪ Eating tiny trees, tiny trees
Tiny trees! ♪
328
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:31,960
So, do I...
329
00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:33,361
Oh, no!
330
00:12:33,362 --> 00:12:34,630
[air hisses]
331
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:37,360
I could fix it in a jiffy.
I’m, I’m a mechanic.
332
00:12:37,366 --> 00:12:39,302
You’re a sexy say that again?
333
00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:40,632
A mechanic.
334
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:43,873
It’s like a therapist
for your car?
335
00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:45,941
There’s no one in my life
who knows how to fix a tire,
336
00:12:45,941 --> 00:12:47,710
even me.
337
00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:49,040
You win Sex Bus!
338
00:12:49,045 --> 00:12:50,645
Nifty.
339
00:12:51,947 --> 00:12:53,249
Is it all over?
340
00:12:53,249 --> 00:12:55,049
Was I a fool to hold out hope?
341
00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:56,181
Yep.
[grunts]
342
00:12:56,185 --> 00:12:58,525
Text me!
343
00:12:59,188 --> 00:13:01,788
Well, howdy there!
344
00:13:01,791 --> 00:13:04,621
[upbeat music]
345
00:13:04,627 --> 00:13:06,629
Can I actually use any of this?
346
00:13:06,629 --> 00:13:08,889
[Bertie] Crystals... colors...
347
00:13:08,898 --> 00:13:10,733
Turtle!
348
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,463
Ouch! Crud!
349
00:13:12,468 --> 00:13:16,038
Draca? I mean cool. You’re cool.
350
00:13:16,038 --> 00:13:17,838
Hey, where’s my notebook?
351
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:19,875
Thanks.
[soft chuckle]
352
00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:20,975
Sweet notebook.
353
00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:21,911
What’s in there?
354
00:13:21,911 --> 00:13:24,311
Sweet notebook.
355
00:13:24,313 --> 00:13:25,781
Are you negging me?
356
00:13:25,781 --> 00:13:27,450
You know what,
I can’t read your tone
357
00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:29,050
and I don’t have time
to figure it out!
358
00:13:29,051 --> 00:13:31,351
We just like milk.
359
00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:32,754
Milk is cool.
360
00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:34,523
If you must know,
it’s a list of ways
361
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,292
to prevent an anxiety attack.
362
00:13:36,292 --> 00:13:39,328
Just like, see a mental
health professional.
363
00:13:39,328 --> 00:13:42,628
That’s what I’m trying to do!
364
00:13:42,631 --> 00:13:44,661
"Don’t wait.
Go grab what you want.
365
00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:47,269
Even if it seems pushy
and rude."
366
00:13:47,269 --> 00:13:48,469
Okay, I will!
367
00:13:48,471 --> 00:13:50,271
Thanks, teens!
368
00:13:50,272 --> 00:13:51,872
[Plant Teen 3 burps]
369
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:57,412
[humming]
370
00:13:57,413 --> 00:13:59,749
Wait, I have to see
Dr. Esther Emu!
371
00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:02,549
I’m invoking
a "psychological emergency"!
372
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:05,251
‐Ah, frick.
‐[door closes]
373
00:14:05,254 --> 00:14:07,354
"Psychological emergency".
374
00:14:07,356 --> 00:14:08,691
Ah, frick.
375
00:14:08,691 --> 00:14:11,260
You look like you have
a hot date, I’m so sorry.
376
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,990
I dress for myself.
377
00:14:12,995 --> 00:14:13,863
Well, I have a hot date,
378
00:14:13,863 --> 00:14:15,731
I need to be there
in 15 minutes,
379
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:17,731
and you have to help me
or... or else, I’ll...
380
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,503
steal all your magazines!
381
00:14:20,503 --> 00:14:22,571
Take the magazines.
We don’t even buy them.
382
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,771
They just appear.
383
00:14:24,774 --> 00:14:26,242
Whoa.
384
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,742
Oh, go ahead, little bird.
385
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,173
‐Tell me your problem.
‐[sighs]
386
00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:32,214
I need to know the best way
to prevent panic attacks.
387
00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:33,614
I’m desperate.
388
00:14:33,616 --> 00:14:36,118
When you start to feel
out of control,
389
00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:37,178
close your eyes
390
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:40,055
When you start to feel
out of control,
391
00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:43,859
when the panic attack is over
and you’ve survived it.
392
00:14:43,859 --> 00:14:45,519
That’s brilliant!
393
00:14:45,528 --> 00:14:46,996
It works because no one
394
00:14:46,996 --> 00:14:49,064
has ever died
from a panic attack.
395
00:14:49,064 --> 00:14:50,699
Yeah, oh, that’s right.
396
00:14:50,699 --> 00:14:53,269
Except everyone
who panics while driving.
397
00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:54,969
They all crash and die.
398
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,100
Oh, thank you!
399
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:57,575
Thank you so much!
400
00:14:59,074 --> 00:15:00,174
I lied.
401
00:15:00,176 --> 00:15:01,376
I dress like this for you.
402
00:15:01,377 --> 00:15:03,112
We’re late for salsa class.
403
00:15:03,112 --> 00:15:04,912
Oh, to heck with salsa.
404
00:15:04,914 --> 00:15:09,351
[upbeat music]
405
00:15:09,351 --> 00:15:11,651
Now, this is my comfort zone.
406
00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:13,689
Unlike dating! Gee whiz.
407
00:15:13,689 --> 00:15:15,489
But you seem so comfy and cool!
408
00:15:15,491 --> 00:15:18,191
Oh, heck, no, glad I fooled ya!
409
00:15:18,194 --> 00:15:19,094
I’m a wreck!
410
00:15:19,094 --> 00:15:22,531
Oh, heck, no, glad I fooled ya!
411
00:15:22,531 --> 00:15:23,661
I liked it.
412
00:15:23,666 --> 00:15:24,900
Made things low pressure.
413
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:28,770
Which is bad for tires
but great for this gal!
414
00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:31,601
Hold the tire here like that.
415
00:15:31,607 --> 00:15:33,142
At least with all those people
on the bus,
416
00:15:33,142 --> 00:15:36,242
I could avoid those
first date awkward silences.
417
00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:37,645
Those are the worst.
418
00:15:40,382 --> 00:15:42,952
Maybe they aren’t that bad.
419
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,456
[both moan]
420
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,118
Nifty.
421
00:15:47,122 --> 00:15:49,592
[lively music]
422
00:15:49,592 --> 00:15:52,792
Hi, hi, hi! Sorry! I made it!
423
00:15:52,795 --> 00:15:55,931
Good news!
They have vegetable skewers!
424
00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:57,600
Aka food swords!
425
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,930
Aka expectations met!
426
00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:01,035
[sighs]
427
00:16:01,036 --> 00:16:02,705
I’m so happy
to be here with you.
428
00:16:02,705 --> 00:16:05,205
This is so special!
You’re such a pretty bird!
429
00:16:05,207 --> 00:16:06,375
[laughs nervously]
430
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,911
Sorry, I’m late
to take your order...
431
00:16:08,911 --> 00:16:10,841
‐[lightning crackles]
‐I was surfing.
432
00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:14,816
That’s why my feathers
are so perfectly wavy.
433
00:16:14,817 --> 00:16:17,520
And don’t ask me where
the bathroom is here
434
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,250
because I don’t know.
435
00:16:19,255 --> 00:16:20,555
Because I don’t shit.
436
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:23,290
Two prix fixe dinners, please.
437
00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:24,960
Great choice.
[chuckles]
438
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,530
[Bertie] Imagine the world
five minutes in the future.
439
00:16:28,998 --> 00:16:30,733
[fire crackling]
440
00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:32,301
[clucks]
441
00:16:32,301 --> 00:16:33,831
[howls]
442
00:16:33,836 --> 00:16:35,236
[screams]
443
00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:37,907
What’s happening?
444
00:16:37,907 --> 00:16:40,476
Uh, Speckle,
I’m feeling a little nervous.
445
00:16:40,476 --> 00:16:41,576
Oh, no.
446
00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:43,012
Do you want me
to use the "worry vacuum"?
447
00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:43,882
[mimics vacuum buzzing]
448
00:16:43,946 --> 00:16:46,315
Do you want me
to use the "worry vacuum"?
449
00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:47,715
Just pretend everything
is normal.
450
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:48,984
Tell me about your day.
451
00:16:48,984 --> 00:16:50,352
[gasps]
Well...
452
00:16:50,352 --> 00:16:51,752
Uh, we’ve been busting our tails
453
00:16:51,754 --> 00:16:53,088
getting this proposal done
454
00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:55,018
for the new bathrooms
at Bird Town Park...
455
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:56,659
[shatters]
456
00:16:56,659 --> 00:16:57,789
[both chitter]
457
00:16:57,793 --> 00:16:59,428
‐...and...
‐Mother of...
458
00:16:59,428 --> 00:17:00,788
Uh, are you okay?
459
00:17:00,796 --> 00:17:02,731
Yes! Keep talking!
460
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:05,961
Okay, well, Len wanted this
Brutalist design...
461
00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:07,636
‐Brutalist?
‐...which meant the toilets
462
00:17:07,636 --> 00:17:09,438
would be shaped
like a skeletal box.
463
00:17:09,438 --> 00:17:10,798
Skeletal?
464
00:17:10,806 --> 00:17:11,974
You know, typical Len!
465
00:17:11,974 --> 00:17:13,574
‐The order paperwork for it...
‐Paperwork?
466
00:17:13,576 --> 00:17:14,776
...was just murder.
467
00:17:14,777 --> 00:17:16,445
Murder? What the hell?
468
00:17:16,445 --> 00:17:17,645
Yeah, Len sucks.
469
00:17:17,646 --> 00:17:19,246
Oh, yay, food!
470
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:24,153
Beet salad with red peppers
and cherry chunks and stuff.
471
00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:25,953
Oooh!
472
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:31,322
Red... blood red... red blood...
473
00:17:31,327 --> 00:17:33,696
‐[sobs]
‐Oh, my god, Bertie?
474
00:17:33,696 --> 00:17:36,298
[babbles]
Just ignore me!
475
00:17:36,298 --> 00:17:38,328
Sweetie? Talk to me.
476
00:17:38,334 --> 00:17:40,134
[in deep voice]
Go away!
477
00:17:40,135 --> 00:17:42,975
[nervous chuckle]
Uh, delicious.
478
00:17:44,607 --> 00:17:47,309
[both moan]
479
00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:49,269
[phone buzzing]
480
00:17:50,613 --> 00:17:51,843
Sorry.
481
00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:53,582
I gotta go!
482
00:17:53,582 --> 00:17:55,282
My friend Bertie is in trouble!
483
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,284
Oh, gee! Is she hurt?
484
00:17:57,286 --> 00:18:00,289
Her boyfriend just texted,
she’s having a panic attack!
485
00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:02,619
Oh, your poor buddy.
Has this happened before?
486
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:05,894
Oh, yeah. This is a pattern.
It repeats weekly.
487
00:18:05,894 --> 00:18:08,794
Uh, then why do you need to go?
488
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,933
Her fella’s there, right?
She sounds needy.
489
00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:13,802
Nuh‐uh, I’m the clingy,
codependent one.
490
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,002
Bertie’s the sweetest...
491
00:18:15,004 --> 00:18:17,004
Like, okay, if the radio’s on
492
00:18:17,006 --> 00:18:19,642
and there’s some horrible,
stupid pop song playing,
493
00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:21,072
Bertie would rather
listen to that
494
00:18:21,076 --> 00:18:24,079
than put on something good
from her own playlist.
495
00:18:24,079 --> 00:18:26,809
♪ I’m always gonna love you...
496
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,751
Hundreds of other people
in Bird Town
497
00:18:28,751 --> 00:18:31,981
are listening to this same song
right now,
498
00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:33,122
and I dunno,
499
00:18:33,122 --> 00:18:34,852
it just makes me feel
less alone.
500
00:18:34,857 --> 00:18:36,792
We’re all connected!
501
00:18:36,792 --> 00:18:39,628
Isn’t that the sweetest thing
you’ve ever heard?
502
00:18:39,628 --> 00:18:41,288
She’s a freakin’ sweetheart.
503
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:43,232
A frookin’ sweetie pie, okay?
504
00:18:43,232 --> 00:18:46,132
Okay, okay,
I didn’t say she wasn’t sweet.
505
00:18:46,135 --> 00:18:47,935
Are you in love with her
or something?
506
00:18:47,936 --> 00:18:49,672
It’s way deeper than that.
507
00:18:49,672 --> 00:18:51,702
She’s my best friend!
508
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:53,809
You wait here.
509
00:18:53,809 --> 00:18:55,939
Do not follow me in.
510
00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:57,244
Bertie hates meeting new people!
511
00:18:57,246 --> 00:18:58,746
I’m gonna go home.
512
00:18:58,747 --> 00:19:01,050
Why? We were having a good time!
513
00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:02,880
I don’t think you want
another person
514
00:19:02,885 --> 00:19:03,952
in your life right now.
515
00:19:03,952 --> 00:19:06,422
I’ve watched you make
silly billy excuses
516
00:19:06,422 --> 00:19:09,052
for every contestant
you kicked off Sex Bus today.
517
00:19:09,058 --> 00:19:10,859
Seems like you’re using
your friend
518
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,759
as another reason to stay alone.
519
00:19:12,761 --> 00:19:14,730
You’re very preachy
for a mechanic.
520
00:19:14,730 --> 00:19:16,160
All mechanics are preachy.
521
00:19:16,165 --> 00:19:18,701
Sheesh, people don’t take care
of their cars!
522
00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:21,331
Then I guess you’re eliminated!
523
00:19:21,336 --> 00:19:23,106
Whatever you wanna call it.
524
00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:25,741
[eerie music]
525
00:19:25,741 --> 00:19:28,011
[thunder rumbles]
526
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:33,478
Bertie. Why don’t you let me in
and we can talk?
527
00:19:33,482 --> 00:19:35,212
No, I’m a burden!
528
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,952
You don’t want
a rotten old house
529
00:19:36,952 --> 00:19:39,352
full of banshees and babadooks!
530
00:19:39,354 --> 00:19:42,424
[Joanne]
Maybe Speckle and Tuca
like helping you.
531
00:19:42,424 --> 00:19:44,693
Huh? Dr. Joanne?
532
00:19:44,693 --> 00:19:47,463
They love you
because of who you are,
533
00:19:47,463 --> 00:19:50,532
you don’t have to fix yourself
before letting them in.
534
00:19:50,532 --> 00:19:51,600
[Speckle] Bertie!
535
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,800
Oh, colonial shutters.
536
00:19:53,802 --> 00:19:55,632
You’re such a cool house,
Bertie!
537
00:19:55,637 --> 00:19:57,539
Speckle is an architect.
538
00:19:57,539 --> 00:19:59,808
[Bertie]
He loves getting inside
crappy old houses
539
00:19:59,808 --> 00:20:00,868
to fix them up.
540
00:20:00,976 --> 00:20:03,946
[Bertie]
He loves getting inside
crappy old houses
541
00:20:03,946 --> 00:20:06,115
Maybe they don’t mind
that I’m haunted.
542
00:20:06,115 --> 00:20:08,815
♪ I’m always gonna love you...
543
00:20:08,817 --> 00:20:12,821
Wait, I love this song.
544
00:20:12,821 --> 00:20:14,951
‐Tuca!
‐See, you’re okay!
545
00:20:14,957 --> 00:20:16,291
You’re not alone.
546
00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:17,591
I’m your panic mechanic!
547
00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:19,523
I always know what you need.
548
00:20:19,528 --> 00:20:20,796
And I texted Tuca.
549
00:20:20,796 --> 00:20:23,432
The important thing is
we all helped equally!
550
00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:24,432
Aw...
551
00:20:25,634 --> 00:20:28,204
[somber music]
552
00:20:30,239 --> 00:20:32,239
Uh, just following your lead,
babe,
553
00:20:32,241 --> 00:20:35,441
but if we leave now,
I don’t have to pay for parking.
554
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:36,514
Let’s bounce!
555
00:20:38,247 --> 00:20:40,117
Ugh!
[grunts]
556
00:20:41,550 --> 00:20:43,850
[groans, screams in pain]
557
00:20:43,852 --> 00:20:45,821
Uh, what’s happening?
558
00:20:45,821 --> 00:20:47,451
What is this sensation?
559
00:20:47,456 --> 00:20:50,926
Uh, it feels like I’m surfing
a killer wave
560
00:20:50,926 --> 00:20:52,961
inside my own body?
[chuckles]
561
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,061
Is this... Am I...
[nervous chuckle]
562
00:20:55,063 --> 00:20:59,203
...shitting?
[disgusted groan]
563
00:20:59,668 --> 00:21:01,528
[gasps, groans]
564
00:21:01,537 --> 00:21:04,207
[upbeat music]
565
00:21:05,607 --> 00:21:08,677
Boom! Anniversary ambiance!
566
00:21:08,677 --> 00:21:10,979
Okay, four pickles?
567
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,879
Pfft, this is way better than
that stuffy restaurant.
568
00:21:12,881 --> 00:21:14,950
I’m sorry about tonight,
Speckle.
569
00:21:14,950 --> 00:21:17,880
You know, I tried so hard
to avoid having a panic attack,
570
00:21:17,886 --> 00:21:20,088
it’s like I guaranteed it
to happen!
571
00:21:20,088 --> 00:21:21,518
I just don’t want you
to feel like
572
00:21:21,523 --> 00:21:22,953
you have to suffer alone, okay?
573
00:21:22,958 --> 00:21:24,493
I love sitting under tables
with you.
574
00:21:24,493 --> 00:21:27,563
I’m down to build a table fort
at literally any moment.
575
00:21:27,563 --> 00:21:30,933
I think I’m gonna keep seeing
this therapist, Dr. Joanne,
576
00:21:30,933 --> 00:21:32,363
and work on this stuff with her.
577
00:21:32,367 --> 00:21:35,003
You found a therapist you like?
That’s great!
578
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,239
What about you, Tuca?
Did you like your date?
579
00:21:37,239 --> 00:21:39,039
I didn’t find the person
or anything,
580
00:21:39,041 --> 00:21:42,571
but it was still... nifty.
581
00:21:42,578 --> 00:21:44,847
[chomps]
I’m going upstairs.
582
00:21:44,847 --> 00:21:48,050
Let you guys have
some alone time.
583
00:21:48,050 --> 00:21:50,750
Thanks, Tuca. We love you.
584
00:21:50,752 --> 00:21:52,582
Mm‐hm.
585
00:21:52,588 --> 00:21:54,623
You looked handsome tonight.
586
00:21:54,623 --> 00:21:56,123
I know, right?
587
00:22:04,266 --> 00:22:06,136
Bleh!
588
00:22:14,877 --> 00:22:19,014
♪ You’re caught off guard ♪
589
00:22:19,014 --> 00:22:22,084
♪ And maybe you’ve fallen off ♪
590
00:22:22,084 --> 00:22:24,384
♪ Please don’t let them ♪
591
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:29,656
♪ Make you think
Any less of it ♪
592
00:22:29,658 --> 00:22:32,961
♪ You’re caught off guard ♪
593
00:22:32,961 --> 00:22:36,131
♪ And maybe you’ve fallen off ♪
594
00:22:36,131 --> 00:22:38,400
♪ Please don’t let them ♪
595
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:43,170
♪ Make you change
Your end place ♪
596
00:22:44,907 --> 00:22:47,643
Blue, Blue.
597
00:22:47,643 --> 00:22:51,043
Blue, Blue, Blue.