1 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,069 Okay, so, I know this is my first time 2 00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,071 Doing therapy in decades, 3 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:07,205 And, look, I'm nervous, 4 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,541 But, uh, there's a strong aroma... 5 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,077 Eh, am I recalling a repressed memory? 6 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,012 That's resignation and cautious hope. 7 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,147 Essential oils. 8 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,949 I have a diffuser. 9 00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,883 So, roberta songthrush... 10 00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,552 -It's bertie. -Bertie. 11 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,954 [duck therapist] you're 31, you work 12 00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:23,155 At a magazine publisher 13 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,823 But run a baking business out of your apartment. 14 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,426 You feel guilty for not composting your kitchen scraps. 15 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,694 You want therapy because you suffer severe panic attacks 16 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,096 Brought on by crippling anxiety and lingering trauma. 17 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,833 Standard stuff. Tell me about the people closest to you. 18 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,835 Well, tuca's my best friend. 19 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,370 We hang out constantly. 20 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,105 She knows all three of my secrets. 21 00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,974 She's my socialist elected president. 22 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,109 We're just like this, you know? 23 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,778 Tuca. Got it. Anyone else? 24 00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,245 Hmm. Oh, yeah. 25 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,314 Oh, my boyfriend of five years. Speckle. 26 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,650 We live together. 27 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,918 It's clear that tuca is a toxic element in your life 28 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,119 And you need to cut her out. 29 00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,921 Plus, your names sound wrong together. 30 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,257 Tuca and bertie. Tuca and bertie. 31 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:00,392 Bertie and tuca? 32 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,926 No, that doesn't work either. 33 00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,127 Tuca and... 34 00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,262 ♪ tuca & bertie, tuca & bertie ♪ 35 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,530 ♪ bertie & tuca and tuca & bertie ♪ 36 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,266 ♪ tuca & bertie ♪ [vocalizes] 37 00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,067 [crowd cheers] 38 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,469 - ♪ tuca ♪ - ♪ bertie ♪ 39 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:13,038 [tuca and bertie vocalizing] 40 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,609 [vocalizing continues] 41 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,945 You want me to cut tuca? 42 00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,147 Out of your life, yes. 43 00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:23,548 And ditch the boyfriend, too. 44 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:26,084 I suggest a full relationship detox. 45 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,820 That's terrible advice! 46 00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,421 What kind of therapist are you? 47 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,357 I specialize in severing attachments. 48 00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:34,493 Didn't your co-worker claudette tell you 49 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:35,894 When she gave you the referral? 50 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,095 [claudette groans] 51 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,430 Uh, claudette didn't 52 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,032 And, now that I'm thinking about it, 53 00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:42,434 Hasn't otherwise spoken to me in three years. 54 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,737 Mm-hmm. We felt your energy was negative to her growth. 55 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,039 I'm gonna take off. 56 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,773 Aah! That's the spirit! 57 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,309 Cut me out of your life! Start fresh! 58 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,777 [tuca] what a loon! 59 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,379 Right? I mean, who knew 60 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,114 Finding a good therapist would be this hard? 61 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,183 What do you need a therapist for? 62 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,317 Just do what I do. 63 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,786 Spew all those bad feelings into a cup, 64 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,856 Turn it over, and push it behind the toilet. 65 00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:08,394 [playful music] 66 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,996 I feel great! 67 00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,465 I need a professional, tuca. 68 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,934 You know, if your car's broken, you go to a mechanic. 69 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,269 Well, my brains are broken. 70 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,470 Speckle planned this nice 71 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,272 Anniversary dinner tomorrow night 72 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,740 And it should be no big deal, 73 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,943 But even that's giving me gut cramps and beak sweats! 74 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,678 I just need to see a good shrink 75 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,480 For like a session or two, then boom! 76 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,348 No more panic attacks! Easy! 77 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,017 Aw, I thought I was your panic mechanic! 78 00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,352 I can't always rely on you. 79 00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,755 Plus, you're busy going on all your dates! 80 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,356 Online dating sucks. 81 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,292 I can't encapsulate my raw, 82 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,528 Enigmatic allure in a profile. 83 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,898 I don't need more love! 84 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,966 My heart is like a training bra. 85 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,902 You can only fit so much titty in there. 86 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:51,370 I already love you so much, 87 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,705 I don't have space in my heart for anyone else. 88 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,840 You're still wearing training bras? 89 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:56,909 I'm still learning! 90 00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:58,310 I'm no dr. Esther emu 91 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,914 But sounds like you're denying your emotional needs. 92 00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:03,181 Dr. Esther emu? 93 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,717 But sounds like you're denying your emotional needs. 94 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,721 [esther] and when he calls you a little baby bird-child, 95 00:03:08,723 --> 00:03:09,854 How do you feel? 96 00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,791 [esther] and when he calls you a little baby bird-child, 97 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,926 [sobbing] 98 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,527 Aw, shit, bertie! We're in an intersection! 99 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,395 -[tires screech] -[horn honks] 100 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,598 I'd see her, but she's all booked up. 101 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,065 Now how am I supposed to know 102 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,135 Which of these other shrinks are any good? 103 00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:25,270 Same deal with these dating sites. 104 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,205 These people either look too outdoorsy, 105 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,341 Or way too indoorsy. 106 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,944 I wish I could date a group of people all at once 107 00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,679 And eliminate them one by one... 108 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,014 [gasps] 109 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,349 Like a reality show. 110 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,084 Yeah, I wish I could date a bunch of therapists 111 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,219 And then just choose one. 112 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,487 [joanne] oh, you can. 113 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:45,357 You're free to see as many therapists as you'd like. 114 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,359 Be a cognitive behavioral slut! 115 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,893 Oh, don't you want me to choose you? 116 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,029 I could be the best therapist in the world 117 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,432 And still not be right for you. 118 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,168 So what's making you anxious lately? 119 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,903 Oh, you know, just the usual stuff. 120 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,705 Also, speckle and I 121 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,707 Are celebrating our anniversary tomorrow night. 122 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,777 That seems like something you could keep low key. 123 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:05,978 Too late. 124 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,580 Uh, bertie. [chuckles] 125 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,449 I got us a spot at two twigs, 126 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,185 The hippest new restaurant in bird town. 127 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,520 I called every day for a month and it finally worked, 128 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,256 When I abbreviated reservation to res. 129 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,458 Then they knew I was cool. 130 00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,260 Uh, that sounds intimidating. 131 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,796 Yup! I can't wait! 132 00:04:23,798 --> 00:04:24,797 [sighs] 133 00:04:24,799 --> 00:04:26,931 Yup! I can't wait! 134 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,733 To keep this night from being perfect! 135 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,669 [groans] 136 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,872 Look, I know it's silly, but... I can't stop worrying 137 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,209 I'm gonna have a panic attack and ruin our anniversary. 138 00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,277 So what normally happens when you panic? 139 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,945 Well, speckle and tuca help me. 140 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,280 Which is terrible. 141 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,682 I'm such a burden on them. 142 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,150 Like if I bomb this dinner, 143 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,685 Speckle will for sure dump me 144 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,353 And get a super chill girlfriend, 145 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,155 And she'll be tuca's new best friend... 146 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,423 I know how to surf. 147 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,358 And I never shit. 148 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,494 [chuckles] 149 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,363 Tuca and speckle haven't dumped you yet... 150 00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,431 But they will. 151 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:00,699 I'm like a haunted house. 152 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,234 I look charming on the outside, 153 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,503 But the more I let other people in, 154 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,104 The more they'll see what I'm really like. 155 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:10,642 And it'll be too much because I'm freakin' haunted. 156 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,644 Maybe they wanna go into a haunted house? 157 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,246 And they wanna help? 158 00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:15,580 [bertie] I've got like creepy girls 159 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,183 Facing the corner with no face and shit! 160 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,986 You don't have to fix yourself before letting them in. 161 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,989 Nope. Nope. I didn't come here to not fix myself. 162 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,991 I could have done that in not-therapy. 163 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,194 I'm here because I'm fixin' to get fixed! 164 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,395 If you can't help me, 165 00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,864 I'll just keep trying other therapists. 166 00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:32,865 Totally cool. 167 00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,867 We've got 20 minutes left on the clock 168 00:05:34,869 --> 00:05:37,870 So I'm gonna watch pottery fail videos 169 00:05:37,872 --> 00:05:39,438 If you wanna join me. 170 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,342 [laughing] 171 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,477 [shrieks] 172 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,413 The pot was so beautiful and now it's mud. 173 00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:50,815 It's just freaking mud! 174 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,217 [laughing] 175 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,386 [upbeat music] 176 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,426 -[horn honks] -y'all here for a date with me? 177 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,561 I sure am! 178 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:05,430 Oh, I see... I see everyone is. 179 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,232 Wowzers, this is a development! 180 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:10,368 Well, toot toot, ya crazy romantics! 181 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,305 And get on the sex bus! 182 00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:16,308 Uh, I was just waiting for my bus! To go home? 183 00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,110 You're not going home until you compete 184 00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:20,512 For my casual interest, you little cutie. 185 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,914 I have a husband! 186 00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,582 All aboard! 187 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,049 [upbeat music] 188 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:25,984 Welcome to sex bus! 189 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,854 [upbeat music] 190 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,056 All of you have an equal chance at winning. 191 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,592 Except you. 192 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,929 I'm sorry, I can already tell this isn't gonna work out. 193 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,663 I'm getting bad vibes right away. 194 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,999 Is it the eyebrow ring? It's fake. 195 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,001 Uh... And your voice. 196 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,736 Look, I hate to do this... 197 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,338 Well, screw you, tucaloo! 198 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,540 Come on, I'm a great lady! 199 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,810 Ew, and your personality! Bleh! 200 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:52,877 It's all bad. 201 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:55,480 -You're eliminated. -[buzzer buzzes] 202 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,615 But, silver lining, 203 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,350 I need a bus driver! You're hired. 204 00:06:58,352 --> 00:06:59,818 Maybe, in the end, 205 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,821 You'll realize it was me you loved all along? 206 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,357 Woof. Definitely not. 207 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,559 [upbeat music] 208 00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:12,230 There are so many therapists. 209 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,898 How do you choose one? 210 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:14,967 [bertie] ooh. 211 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,069 [trills] 212 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,538 Argh! 213 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,308 Hey, claudette. Cute outfit! 214 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,443 [claudette groans] 215 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:27,546 Your therapist referral sucked. 216 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,515 [bertie] argh! 217 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,419 [mouse clicking] 218 00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,925 Bertie, what are you doing? 219 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,495 [warbling] 220 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,199 Bertie! What have you done? 221 00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:48,200 [phone buzzes] 222 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,137 [frustrated groan] 223 00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,476 Ah, bertie, I was just not thinking about you. 224 00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:58,477 How can I help you 225 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,078 And/or get you out of my office quickly? 226 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:00,813 Hey, holland! 227 00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:03,148 And/or get you out of my office quickly? 228 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,416 Psychological emergency! 229 00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:06,485 Ah, I'm in full support of employees 230 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,619 Taking mental health days. 231 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,622 Cuts down on the number of incidents. 232 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,757 Well, let me know if you have a therapist you like. 233 00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,626 [chuckles] 'cause, uh, I'm on the hunt. 234 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,829 Oh, no, I'm british and over 60. 235 00:08:16,831 --> 00:08:19,564 I've never even considered going to a "funny doctor". 236 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:20,733 I'm very happy. 237 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,568 [groans] 238 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,905 Okay. Well. See you tomorrow! 239 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,973 Come on, holly, be a good soldier. 240 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,677 Your ex remarried. She's happy! 241 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,779 [groans] 242 00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,381 Here's the deal. 243 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,254 I just want a surefire way to fix panic attacks. 244 00:08:43,057 --> 00:08:44,723 By 6:00 p.M. Today. 245 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,459 And, go! 246 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,327 Transitional object work. 247 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,729 Take this crystal. 248 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,531 [scarf therapist] when you feel anxious, 249 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,933 Hold the crystal in your hand. 250 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:55,934 Can I keep this? 251 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,335 I'll add it to your bill. 252 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,337 [panting] 253 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,340 To manually reset your socially neurotic brain, 254 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,208 Repeat whatever it is 255 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,077 Your conversation partner is saying. 256 00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:07,546 Repeat whatever it is your partner is saying. 257 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,414 Okay. Stop repeating me. 258 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,482 Stop repeating me. 259 00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:13,218 You are a very handsome therapist? 260 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,787 What? 261 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,355 [panting] 262 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,424 When I feel anxious, 263 00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:23,161 I like to list colors in the room to distract myself. 264 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:27,232 Blue... Blue... Blue... 265 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,967 -Blue. -Blue. Mm-hm. 266 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,769 -[elevator bell dings] -[pants] 267 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,504 You need to be kinder to yourself. 268 00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,439 Like, you're not a haunted house! 269 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,975 You're so pretty and cool! 270 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,511 Oh, that was just a metaphor. 271 00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:42,114 And your friend tuca sounds so fun. 272 00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:44,182 I wish I could hang out with you guys. 273 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,050 Uh... I gotta go. 274 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,820 -[bertie] thanks! -I'll text you later! 275 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,758 [phone buzzes] 276 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,093 Eek! 277 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,667 Previously on sex bus,a lively 278 00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:03,669 Portrait painting session showed us that beauty 279 00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:06,071 Is in the eye of the brush holder. 280 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,675 Oh, jeez! Sorry! 281 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,010 Ooh, that's hot. 282 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,246 It's a pleasure to observe you. 283 00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,549 This is technically proficient, 284 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,817 But where's the soul? The passion? 285 00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,720 Sorry, you're eliminated! 286 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,757 I don't understand what happened! 287 00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,159 [sobs] 288 00:10:27,161 --> 00:10:29,561 How did I get in this limo? 289 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:31,229 [deep-voiced man] round two got immediately derailed 290 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,299 When someone discovered a bomb on the bus. 291 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,967 Okay, cut the tan wire. 292 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,836 Don't touch the beige wire! 293 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,072 [nervous groan] I don't see any wires! 294 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,907 Argh! 295 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,842 I don't know if I can do this! 296 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,512 You can and you must! Just hold her steady! 297 00:10:46,514 --> 00:10:48,046 Straight ahead! 298 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:52,918 -[eager willet] aah! -[tires screeching] 299 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,386 Oh! Whoo-ho! 300 00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:55,721 [deep-voiced man] fortunately, in the end, 301 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,390 The bomb just turned out to be lip balm. 302 00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:00,992 From our sponsor, natural selections. 303 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,995 Finally, a lip balm for animals without lips. 304 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,931 Okay, none of this makes any sense. 305 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,934 You're eliminated! Get out of here, logic police! 306 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,203 I don't date cops! Anymore. 307 00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:13,004 [chuckles] 308 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,540 And here we are at round three, 309 00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:16,007 In which tuca decides 310 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,411 If a contestant is a good voiceover announcer. 311 00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,347 So... 312 00:11:21,349 --> 00:11:22,814 Sorry, it's a pass. 313 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,884 I'm not attracted to a soothing male baritone. 314 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,619 I wanna be agitated! 315 00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:31,290 "heartbreak", coming soon to a man that is me! 316 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,894 I don't think sheena is here for the right reasons. 317 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,029 But I am and that's to get to my street. 318 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,498 Oh, here it is! 319 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,102 For the next round, um... 320 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,572 Do you gals like, uh... Broccoli? 321 00:11:46,574 --> 00:11:48,574 Yeah! I love it! 322 00:11:48,576 --> 00:11:49,541 Wrong answer. 323 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,577 There's only room 324 00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:53,111 For one broccoli lover in my life 325 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,780 And that's my best friend bertie. 326 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,514 ♪ oh, I'm a big monster ♪ 327 00:11:56,516 --> 00:12:00,052 ♪ eating tiny trees, tiny trees tiny trees! ♪ 328 00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:03,589 So, do I... 329 00:12:03,591 --> 00:12:04,990 Oh, no! 330 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,324 [air hisses] 331 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,994 I could fix it in a jiffy. I'm, I'm a mechanic. 332 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,862 You're a sexy say that again? 333 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,330 A mechanic. 334 00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,401 It's like a therapist for your car? 335 00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,535 There's no one in my life who knows how to fix a tire, 336 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,271 Even me. 337 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:20,738 You win sex bus! 338 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,174 Nifty. 339 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,943 Is it all over? 340 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,744 Was I a fool to hold out hope? 341 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,813 Yep. [grunts] 342 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:30,049 Text me! 343 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:33,418 Well, howdy there! 344 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,288 [upbeat music] 345 00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:38,290 Can I actually use any of this? 346 00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:40,426 [bertie] crystals... Colors... 347 00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:42,294 Turtle! 348 00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:44,162 Ouch! Crud! 349 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,699 Draca? I mean cool. You're cool. 350 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,368 Hey, where's my notebook? 351 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,569 Thanks. [soft chuckle] 352 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,570 Sweet notebook. 353 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:53,439 What's in there? 354 00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:55,841 Sweet notebook. 355 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,375 Are you negging me? 356 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,110 You know what, I can't read your tone 357 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,712 And I don't have time to figure it out! 358 00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:02,914 We just like milk. 359 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,316 Milk is cool. 360 00:13:04,318 --> 00:13:06,051 If you must know, it's a list of ways 361 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,986 To prevent an anxiety attack. 362 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,856 Just like, see a mental health professional. 363 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:14,259 That's what I'm trying to do! 364 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,328 "don't wait. Go grab what you want. 365 00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:18,930 Even if it seems pushy and rude." 366 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,132 Okay, I will! 367 00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:21,933 Thanks, teens! 368 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,402 [plant teen 3 burps] 369 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:29,007 [humming] 370 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,276 Wait, I have to see dr. Esther emu! 371 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:34,079 I'm invoking a "psychological emergency"! 372 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,882 -Ah, frick. -[door closes] 373 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,884 "psychological emergency". 374 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,352 Ah, frick. 375 00:13:40,354 --> 00:13:42,888 You look like you have a hot date, I'm so sorry. 376 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,556 I dress for myself. 377 00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:45,491 Well, I have a hot date, 378 00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:47,425 I need to be there in 15 minutes, 379 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,261 And you have to help me or... Or else, I'll... 380 00:13:50,698 --> 00:13:52,164 Steal all your magazines! 381 00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,099 Take the magazines. We don't even buy them. 382 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,300 They just appear. 383 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,836 Whoa. 384 00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,437 Oh, go ahead, little bird. 385 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,706 -Tell me your problem. -[sighs] 386 00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:03,775 I need to know the best way to prevent panic attacks. 387 00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:05,177 I'm desperate. 388 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:07,779 When you start to feel out of control, 389 00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:08,714 Close your eyes 390 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:11,649 When you start to feel out of control, 391 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:15,453 When the panic attack is over and you've survived it. 392 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,189 That's brilliant! 393 00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:18,524 It works because no one 394 00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:20,658 Has ever died from a panic attack. 395 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,327 Yeah, oh, that's right. 396 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,863 Except everyone who panics while driving. 397 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,664 They all crash and die. 398 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,733 Oh, thank you! 399 00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,101 Thank you so much! 400 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,870 I lied. 401 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,071 I dress like this for you. 402 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,740 We're late for salsa class. 403 00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:36,542 Oh, to heck with salsa. 404 00:14:36,544 --> 00:14:41,012 [upbeat music] 405 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,215 Now, this is my comfort zone. 406 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,283 Unlike dating! Gee whiz. 407 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,085 But you seem so comfy and cool! 408 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,888 Oh, heck, no, glad I fooled ya! 409 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:50,688 I'm a wreck! 410 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:54,159 Oh, heck, no, glad I fooled ya! 411 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,227 I liked it. 412 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,494 Made things low pressure. 413 00:14:56,496 --> 00:15:00,432 Which is bad for tires but great for this gal! 414 00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:03,301 Hold the tire here like that. 415 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,770 At least with all those people on the bus, 416 00:15:04,772 --> 00:15:07,773 I could avoid those first date awkward silences. 417 00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:09,174 Those are the worst. 418 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,480 Maybe they aren't that bad. 419 00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:16,982 [both moan] 420 00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:18,716 Nifty. 421 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,253 [lively music] 422 00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:24,456 Hi, hi, hi! Sorry! I made it! 423 00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:27,525 Good news! They have vegetable skewers! 424 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,261 Aka food swords! 425 00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,529 Aka expectations met! 426 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,730 [sighs] 427 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,266 I'm so happy to be here with you. 428 00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,868 This is so special! You're such a pretty bird! 429 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,003 [laughs nervously] 430 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,472 Sorry, I'm late to take your order... 431 00:15:40,474 --> 00:15:42,540 -[lightning crackles] -I was surfing. 432 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:46,478 That's why my feathers are so perfectly wavy. 433 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,081 And don't ask me where the bathroom is here 434 00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:50,949 Because I don't know. 435 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,084 Because I don't shit. 436 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,820 Two prix fixe dinners, please. 437 00:15:54,822 --> 00:15:56,554 Great choice. [chuckles] 438 00:15:56,556 --> 00:16:00,059 [bertie] imagine the world five minutes in the future. 439 00:16:00,628 --> 00:16:02,294 [fire crackling] 440 00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:03,829 [clucks] 441 00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:05,497 [howls] 442 00:16:05,499 --> 00:16:06,898 [screams] 443 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,435 What's happening? 444 00:16:09,437 --> 00:16:12,170 Uh, speckle, I'm feeling a little nervous. 445 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,171 Oh, no. 446 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,640 Do you want me to use the "worry vacuum"? 447 00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:15,573 [mimics vacuum buzzing] 448 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,843 Do you want me to use the "worry vacuum"? 449 00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,244 Just pretend everything is normal. 450 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,578 Tell me about your day. 451 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,913 [gasps] well... 452 00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:23,315 Uh, we've been busting our tails 453 00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,782 Getting this proposal done 454 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,552 For the new bathrooms at bird town park... 455 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,320 [shatters] 456 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,387 [both chitter] 457 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,056 -...And... -Mother of... 458 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,390 Uh, are you okay? 459 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,259 Yes! Keep talking! 460 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:37,529 Okay, well, len wanted this brutalist design... 461 00:16:37,531 --> 00:16:39,264 -Brutalist? -...Which meant the toilets 462 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,066 Would be shaped like a skeletal box. 463 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,400 Skeletal? 464 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,535 You know, typical len! 465 00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:45,137 -The order paperwork for it... -Paperwork? 466 00:16:45,139 --> 00:16:46,338 ...Was just murder. 467 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,073 Murder? What the hell? 468 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,274 Yeah, len sucks. 469 00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,876 Oh, yay, food! 470 00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:55,681 Beet salad with red peppers and cherry chunks and stuff. 471 00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,483 Oooh! 472 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:03,021 Red... Blood red... Red blood... 473 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,357 -[sobs] -oh, my god, bertie? 474 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,959 [babbles] just ignore me! 475 00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:10,028 Sweetie? Talk to me. 476 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,830 [in deep voice] go away! 477 00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:14,500 [nervous chuckle] uh, delicious. 478 00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:18,970 [both moan] 479 00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:20,806 [phone buzzing] 480 00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:23,375 Sorry. 481 00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,110 I gotta go! 482 00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,912 My friend bertie is in trouble! 483 00:17:26,914 --> 00:17:28,914 Oh, gee! Is she hurt? 484 00:17:28,916 --> 00:17:31,917 Her boyfriend just texted, she's having a panic attack! 485 00:17:31,919 --> 00:17:34,186 Oh, your poor buddy. Has this happened before? 486 00:17:34,188 --> 00:17:37,523 Oh, yeah. This is a pattern. It repeats weekly. 487 00:17:37,525 --> 00:17:40,326 Uh, then why do you need to go? 488 00:17:40,328 --> 00:17:42,594 Her fella's there, right? She sounds needy. 489 00:17:42,596 --> 00:17:45,331 Nuh-uh, I'm the clingy, codependent one. 490 00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,532 Bertie's the sweetest... 491 00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:48,534 Like, okay, if the radio's on 492 00:17:48,536 --> 00:17:51,203 And there's some horrible, stupid pop song playing, 493 00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:52,670 Bertie would rather listen to that 494 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:55,673 Than put on something good from her own playlist. 495 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,344 ♪ I'm always gonna love you... ♪ 496 00:17:58,346 --> 00:18:00,412 Hundreds of other people in bird town 497 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:03,681 Are listening to this same song right now, 498 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:04,750 And I dunno, 499 00:18:04,752 --> 00:18:06,418 It just makes me feel less alone. 500 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,486 We're all connected! 501 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,156 Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? 502 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:12,891 She's a freakin' sweetheart. 503 00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:14,760 A frookin' sweetie pie, okay? 504 00:18:14,762 --> 00:18:17,763 Okay, okay, I didn't say she wasn't sweet. 505 00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:19,565 Are you in love with her or something? 506 00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,233 It's way deeper than that. 507 00:18:21,235 --> 00:18:23,235 She's my best friend! 508 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,503 You wait here. 509 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,573 Do not follow me in. 510 00:18:27,575 --> 00:18:28,774 Bertie hates meeting new people! 511 00:18:28,776 --> 00:18:30,375 I'm gonna go home. 512 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,578 Why? We were having a good time! 513 00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:34,446 I don't think you want another person 514 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,581 In your life right now. 515 00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:38,116 I've watched you make silly billy excuses 516 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,586 For every contestant you kicked off sex bus today. 517 00:18:40,588 --> 00:18:42,388 Seems like you're using your friend 518 00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:44,389 As another reason to stay alone. 519 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,324 You're very preachy for a mechanic. 520 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,793 All mechanics are preachy. 521 00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:50,262 Sheesh, people don't take care of their cars! 522 00:18:50,264 --> 00:18:52,931 Then I guess you're eliminated! 523 00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:54,633 Whatever you wanna call it. 524 00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,335 [eerie music] 525 00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,538 [thunder rumbles] 526 00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:05,010 Bertie. Why don't you let me in and we can talk? 527 00:19:05,012 --> 00:19:06,878 No, I'm a burden! 528 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,546 You don't want a rotten old house 529 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,949 Full of banshees and babadooks! 530 00:19:10,951 --> 00:19:14,085 [joanne]maybe speckle and tuca like helping you. 531 00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:16,221 Huh? Dr. Joanne? 532 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,157 They love you because of who you are, 533 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:22,094 You don't have to fix yourself before letting them in. 534 00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:23,228 [speckle] bertie! 535 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,431 Oh, colonial shutters. 536 00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:27,299 You're such a cool house, bertie! 537 00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:29,101 Speckle is an architect. 538 00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:31,437 [bertie]he loves getting inside crappy old houses 539 00:19:31,439 --> 00:19:32,570 To fix them up. 540 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:35,507 [bertie]he loves getting inside crappy old houses 541 00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,643 Maybe they don't mind that I'm haunted. 542 00:19:37,645 --> 00:19:40,446 ♪ I'm always gonna love you... ♪ 543 00:19:40,448 --> 00:19:44,450 Wait, I love this song. 544 00:19:44,452 --> 00:19:46,518 -Tuca! -See, you're okay! 545 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:47,986 You're not alone. 546 00:19:47,988 --> 00:19:49,187 I'm your panic mechanic! 547 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,056 I always know what you need. 548 00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:52,390 And I texted tuca. 549 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,060 The important thing is we all helped equally! 550 00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:55,961 Aw... 551 00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,732 [somber music] 552 00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,869 Uh, just following your lead, babe, 553 00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:07,072 But if we leave now, I don't have to pay for parking. 554 00:20:07,074 --> 00:20:08,040 Let's bounce! 555 00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,643 Ugh! [grunts] 556 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,481 [groans, screams in pain] 557 00:20:15,483 --> 00:20:17,415 Uh, what's happening? 558 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,084 What is this sensation? 559 00:20:19,086 --> 00:20:22,620 Uh, it feels like I'm surfing a killer wave 560 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,490 Inside my own body? [chuckles] 561 00:20:24,492 --> 00:20:26,692 Is this... Am I... [nervous chuckle] 562 00:20:26,694 --> 00:20:30,729 ...Shitting? [disgusted groan] 563 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,231 [gasps, groans] 564 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,734 [upbeat music] 565 00:20:37,171 --> 00:20:40,305 Boom! Anniversary ambiance! 566 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,508 Okay, four pickles? 567 00:20:42,510 --> 00:20:44,510 Pfft, this is way better than that stuffy restaurant. 568 00:20:44,512 --> 00:20:46,644 I'm sorry about tonight, speckle. 569 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,515 You know, I tried so hard to avoid having a panic attack, 570 00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:51,717 It's like I guaranteed it to happen! 571 00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:53,185 I just don't want you to feel like 572 00:20:53,187 --> 00:20:54,652 You have to suffer alone, okay? 573 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,121 I love sitting under tables with you. 574 00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:59,257 I'm down to build a table fort at literally any moment. 575 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,594 I think I'm gonna keep seeing this therapist, dr. Joanne, 576 00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,062 And work on this stuff with her. 577 00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:06,532 You found a therapist you like? That's great! 578 00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:08,800 What about you, tuca? Did you like your date? 579 00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:10,602 I didn't find the person or anything, 580 00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:14,272 But it was still... Nifty. 581 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,408 [chomps] I'm going upstairs. 582 00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:19,611 Let you guys have some alone time. 583 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:22,414 Thanks, tuca. We love you. 584 00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:24,282 Mm-hm. 585 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:26,151 You looked handsome tonight. 586 00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:27,653 I know, right? 587 00:21:35,829 --> 00:21:37,663 Bleh! 588 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,708 ♪ you're caught off guard ♪ 589 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:53,645 ♪ and maybe you've fallen off ♪ 590 00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:56,047 ♪ please don't let them ♪ 591 00:21:56,049 --> 00:22:01,186 ♪ make you think any less of it ♪ 592 00:22:01,188 --> 00:22:04,590 ♪ you're caught off guard ♪ 593 00:22:04,592 --> 00:22:07,726 ♪ and maybe you've fallen off ♪ 594 00:22:07,728 --> 00:22:10,061 ♪ please don't let them ♪ 595 00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:14,700 ♪ make you change your end place ♪ 596 00:22:16,470 --> 00:22:19,337 Blue, blue. 597 00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:22,574 Blue, blue, blue.