1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,069
Okay, so, I know this is
my first time
2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,071
Doing therapy in decades,
3
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:07,205
And, look, I'm nervous,
4
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,541
But, uh, there's
a strong aroma...
5
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,077
Eh, am I recalling
a repressed memory?
6
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,012
That's resignation
and cautious hope.
7
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,147
Essential oils.
8
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,949
I have a diffuser.
9
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,883
So, roberta songthrush...
10
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,552
-It's bertie.
-Bertie.
11
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,954
[duck therapist]
you're 31, you work
12
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:23,155
At a magazine publisher
13
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,823
But run a baking business
out of your apartment.
14
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,426
You feel guilty for not
composting your kitchen scraps.
15
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,694
You want therapy because you
suffer severe panic attacks
16
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,096
Brought on by crippling anxiety
and lingering trauma.
17
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,833
Standard stuff. Tell me about
the people closest to you.
18
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,835
Well, tuca's my best friend.
19
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,370
We hang out constantly.
20
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,105
She knows all three
of my secrets.
21
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,974
She's my socialist
elected president.
22
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,109
We're just like this, you know?
23
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,778
Tuca. Got it. Anyone else?
24
00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,245
Hmm. Oh, yeah.
25
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,314
Oh, my boyfriend
of five years. Speckle.
26
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,650
We live together.
27
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,918
It's clear that tuca
is a toxic element in your life
28
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,119
And you need to cut her out.
29
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,921
Plus, your names sound wrong
together.
30
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,257
Tuca and bertie.
Tuca and bertie.
31
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:00,392
Bertie and tuca?
32
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,926
No, that doesn't work either.
33
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,127
Tuca and...
34
00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,262
♪ tuca & bertie, tuca & bertie ♪
35
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,530
♪ bertie & tuca
and tuca & bertie ♪
36
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,266
♪ tuca & bertie ♪
[vocalizes]
37
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,067
[crowd cheers]
38
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,469
- ♪ tuca ♪
- ♪ bertie ♪
39
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:13,038
[tuca and bertie vocalizing]
40
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,609
[vocalizing continues]
41
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,945
You want me to cut tuca?
42
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,147
Out of your life, yes.
43
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:23,548
And ditch the boyfriend, too.
44
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:26,084
I suggest
a full relationship detox.
45
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,820
That's terrible advice!
46
00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,421
What kind of therapist are you?
47
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,357
I specialize
in severing attachments.
48
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:34,493
Didn't your co-worker claudette
tell you
49
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:35,894
When she gave you the referral?
50
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,095
[claudette groans]
51
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,430
Uh, claudette didn't
52
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,032
And, now that
I'm thinking about it,
53
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:42,434
Hasn't otherwise spoken to me
in three years.
54
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,737
Mm-hmm. We felt your energy
was negative to her growth.
55
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,039
I'm gonna take off.
56
00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,773
Aah! That's the spirit!
57
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,309
Cut me out of your life!
Start fresh!
58
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,777
[tuca] what a loon!
59
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,379
Right? I mean, who knew
60
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,114
Finding a good therapist
would be this hard?
61
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,183
What do you need
a therapist for?
62
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,317
Just do what I do.
63
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,786
Spew all those bad feelings
into a cup,
64
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,856
Turn it over,
and push it behind the toilet.
65
00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:08,394
[playful music]
66
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,996
I feel great!
67
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,465
I need a professional, tuca.
68
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,934
You know, if your car's broken,
you go to a mechanic.
69
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,269
Well, my brains are broken.
70
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,470
Speckle planned this nice
71
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,272
Anniversary dinner
tomorrow night
72
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,740
And it should be no big deal,
73
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,943
But even that's giving me
gut cramps and beak sweats!
74
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,678
I just need to see a good shrink
75
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,480
For like a session or two,
then boom!
76
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,348
No more panic attacks! Easy!
77
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,017
Aw, I thought I was your
panic mechanic!
78
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,352
I can't always rely on you.
79
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,755
Plus, you're busy going
on all your dates!
80
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,356
Online dating sucks.
81
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,292
I can't encapsulate my raw,
82
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,528
Enigmatic allure in a profile.
83
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,898
I don't need more love!
84
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,966
My heart is like a training bra.
85
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,902
You can only fit
so much titty in there.
86
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:51,370
I already love you so much,
87
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,705
I don't have space in my heart
for anyone else.
88
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,840
You're still wearing
training bras?
89
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:56,909
I'm still learning!
90
00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:58,310
I'm no dr. Esther emu
91
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,914
But sounds like you're denying
your emotional needs.
92
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:03,181
Dr. Esther emu?
93
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,717
But sounds like you're denying
your emotional needs.
94
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,721
[esther] and when he calls you
a little baby bird-child,
95
00:03:08,723 --> 00:03:09,854
How do you feel?
96
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,791
[esther] and when he calls you
a little baby bird-child,
97
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,926
[sobbing]
98
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,527
Aw, shit, bertie!
We're in an intersection!
99
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,395
-[tires screech]
-[horn honks]
100
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,598
I'd see her,
but she's all booked up.
101
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,065
Now how am I supposed to know
102
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,135
Which of these other shrinks
are any good?
103
00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:25,270
Same deal
with these dating sites.
104
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,205
These people either look
too outdoorsy,
105
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,341
Or way too indoorsy.
106
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,944
I wish I could date
a group of people all at once
107
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,679
And eliminate them one by one...
108
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,014
[gasps]
109
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,349
Like a reality show.
110
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,084
Yeah, I wish I could date
a bunch of therapists
111
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,219
And then just choose one.
112
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,487
[joanne] oh, you can.
113
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:45,357
You're free to see as many
therapists as you'd like.
114
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,359
Be a cognitive behavioral slut!
115
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,893
Oh, don't you want me
to choose you?
116
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,029
I could be the best therapist
in the world
117
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,432
And still not be right for you.
118
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,168
So what's making you anxious
lately?
119
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,903
Oh, you know,
just the usual stuff.
120
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,705
Also, speckle and I
121
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,707
Are celebrating our anniversary
tomorrow night.
122
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,777
That seems like something
you could keep low key.
123
00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:05,978
Too late.
124
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,580
Uh, bertie.
[chuckles]
125
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,449
I got us a spot at two twigs,
126
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,185
The hippest new restaurant
in bird town.
127
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,520
I called every day for a month
and it finally worked,
128
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,256
When I abbreviated reservation
to res.
129
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,458
Then they knew I was cool.
130
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,260
Uh, that sounds intimidating.
131
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,796
Yup! I can't wait!
132
00:04:23,798 --> 00:04:24,797
[sighs]
133
00:04:24,799 --> 00:04:26,931
Yup! I can't wait!
134
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,733
To keep this night
from being perfect!
135
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,669
[groans]
136
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,872
Look, I know it's silly,
but... I can't stop worrying
137
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,209
I'm gonna have a panic attack
and ruin our anniversary.
138
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,277
So what normally happens
when you panic?
139
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,945
Well, speckle and tuca help me.
140
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,280
Which is terrible.
141
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,682
I'm such a burden on them.
142
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,150
Like if I bomb this dinner,
143
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,685
Speckle will for sure dump me
144
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,353
And get
a super chill girlfriend,
145
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,155
And she'll be tuca's
new best friend...
146
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,423
I know how to surf.
147
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,358
And I never shit.
148
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,494
[chuckles]
149
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,363
Tuca and speckle haven't
dumped you yet...
150
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,431
But they will.
151
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:00,699
I'm like a haunted house.
152
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,234
I look charming on the outside,
153
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,503
But the more I let
other people in,
154
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,104
The more they'll see
what I'm really like.
155
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:10,642
And it'll be too much
because I'm freakin' haunted.
156
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,644
Maybe they wanna go
into a haunted house?
157
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,246
And they wanna help?
158
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:15,580
[bertie]
I've got like creepy girls
159
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,183
Facing the corner
with no face and shit!
160
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,986
You don't have to fix yourself
before letting them in.
161
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,989
Nope. Nope. I didn't come here
to not fix myself.
162
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,991
I could have done that
in not-therapy.
163
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,194
I'm here because I'm fixin'
to get fixed!
164
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,395
If you can't help me,
165
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,864
I'll just keep trying other
therapists.
166
00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:32,865
Totally cool.
167
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,867
We've got 20 minutes left
on the clock
168
00:05:34,869 --> 00:05:37,870
So I'm gonna watch
pottery fail videos
169
00:05:37,872 --> 00:05:39,438
If you wanna join me.
170
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,342
[laughing]
171
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,477
[shrieks]
172
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,413
The pot was so beautiful
and now it's mud.
173
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:50,815
It's just freaking mud!
174
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,217
[laughing]
175
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,386
[upbeat music]
176
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,426
-[horn honks]
-y'all here for a date with me?
177
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,561
I sure am!
178
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:05,430
Oh, I see... I see everyone is.
179
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,232
Wowzers, this is a development!
180
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:10,368
Well, toot toot,
ya crazy romantics!
181
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,305
And get on the sex bus!
182
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:16,308
Uh, I was just waiting
for my bus! To go home?
183
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,110
You're not going home
until you compete
184
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:20,512
For my casual interest,
you little cutie.
185
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,914
I have a husband!
186
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,582
All aboard!
187
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,049
[upbeat music]
188
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:25,984
Welcome to sex bus!
189
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,854
[upbeat music]
190
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,056
All of you have
an equal chance at winning.
191
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,592
Except you.
192
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,929
I'm sorry, I can already tell
this isn't gonna work out.
193
00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,663
I'm getting bad vibes
right away.
194
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,999
Is it the eyebrow ring?
It's fake.
195
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,001
Uh... And your voice.
196
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,736
Look, I hate to do this...
197
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,338
Well, screw you, tucaloo!
198
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,540
Come on, I'm a great lady!
199
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,810
Ew, and your personality! Bleh!
200
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:52,877
It's all bad.
201
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:55,480
-You're eliminated.
-[buzzer buzzes]
202
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,615
But, silver lining,
203
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,350
I need a bus driver!
You're hired.
204
00:06:58,352 --> 00:06:59,818
Maybe, in the end,
205
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,821
You'll realize it was me
you loved all along?
206
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,357
Woof. Definitely not.
207
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,559
[upbeat music]
208
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:12,230
There are so many therapists.
209
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,898
How do you choose one?
210
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:14,967
[bertie] ooh.
211
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,069
[trills]
212
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,538
Argh!
213
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,308
Hey, claudette. Cute outfit!
214
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,443
[claudette groans]
215
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:27,546
Your therapist referral sucked.
216
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,515
[bertie] argh!
217
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,419
[mouse clicking]
218
00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,925
Bertie, what are you doing?
219
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,495
[warbling]
220
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,199
Bertie! What have you done?
221
00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:48,200
[phone buzzes]
222
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,137
[frustrated groan]
223
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,476
Ah, bertie, I was just not
thinking about you.
224
00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:58,477
How can I help you
225
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,078
And/or get you out of my office
quickly?
226
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:00,813
Hey, holland!
227
00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:03,148
And/or get you out of my office
quickly?
228
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,416
Psychological emergency!
229
00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:06,485
Ah, I'm in full support
of employees
230
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,619
Taking mental health days.
231
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,622
Cuts down
on the number of incidents.
232
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,757
Well, let me know if you have
a therapist you like.
233
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,626
[chuckles]
'cause, uh, I'm on the hunt.
234
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,829
Oh, no, I'm british and over 60.
235
00:08:16,831 --> 00:08:19,564
I've never even considered
going to a "funny doctor".
236
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:20,733
I'm very happy.
237
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,568
[groans]
238
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,905
Okay. Well. See you tomorrow!
239
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,973
Come on, holly,
be a good soldier.
240
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,677
Your ex remarried. She's happy!
241
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,779
[groans]
242
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,381
Here's the deal.
243
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,254
I just want a surefire way
to fix panic attacks.
244
00:08:43,057 --> 00:08:44,723
By 6:00 p.M. Today.
245
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,459
And, go!
246
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,327
Transitional object work.
247
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,729
Take this crystal.
248
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,531
[scarf therapist]
when you feel anxious,
249
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,933
Hold the crystal in your hand.
250
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:55,934
Can I keep this?
251
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,335
I'll add it to your bill.
252
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,337
[panting]
253
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,340
To manually reset your
socially neurotic brain,
254
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,208
Repeat whatever it is
255
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,077
Your conversation partner
is saying.
256
00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:07,546
Repeat whatever it is
your partner is saying.
257
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,414
Okay. Stop repeating me.
258
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,482
Stop repeating me.
259
00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:13,218
You are
a very handsome therapist?
260
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,787
What?
261
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,355
[panting]
262
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,424
When I feel anxious,
263
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:23,161
I like to list colors
in the room to distract myself.
264
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:27,232
Blue... Blue... Blue...
265
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,967
-Blue.
-Blue. Mm-hm.
266
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,769
-[elevator bell dings]
-[pants]
267
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,504
You need to be kinder
to yourself.
268
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,439
Like, you're not
a haunted house!
269
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,975
You're so pretty and cool!
270
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,511
Oh, that was just a metaphor.
271
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:42,114
And your friend tuca
sounds so fun.
272
00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:44,182
I wish I could hang out
with you guys.
273
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,050
Uh... I gotta go.
274
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,820
-[bertie] thanks!
-I'll text you later!
275
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,758
[phone buzzes]
276
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,093
Eek!
277
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,667
Previously on sex bus,a lively
278
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:03,669
Portrait painting session
showed us that beauty
279
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:06,071
Is in the eye
of the brush holder.
280
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,675
Oh, jeez! Sorry!
281
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,010
Ooh, that's hot.
282
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,246
It's a pleasure to observe you.
283
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,549
This is technically proficient,
284
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,817
But where's the soul?
The passion?
285
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,720
Sorry, you're eliminated!
286
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,757
I don't understand
what happened!
287
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,159
[sobs]
288
00:10:27,161 --> 00:10:29,561
How did I get in this limo?
289
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:31,229
[deep-voiced man] round two
got immediately derailed
290
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,299
When someone discovered
a bomb on the bus.
291
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,967
Okay, cut the tan wire.
292
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,836
Don't touch the beige wire!
293
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,072
[nervous groan]
I don't see any wires!
294
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,907
Argh!
295
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,842
I don't know if I can do this!
296
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,512
You can and you must!
Just hold her steady!
297
00:10:46,514 --> 00:10:48,046
Straight ahead!
298
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:52,918
-[eager willet] aah!
-[tires screeching]
299
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,386
Oh! Whoo-ho!
300
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:55,721
[deep-voiced man]
fortunately, in the end,
301
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,390
The bomb just turned out
to be lip balm.
302
00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:00,992
From our sponsor,
natural selections.
303
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,995
Finally, a lip balm
for animals without lips.
304
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,931
Okay, none of this
makes any sense.
305
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,934
You're eliminated!
Get out of here, logic police!
306
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,203
I don't date cops! Anymore.
307
00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:13,004
[chuckles]
308
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,540
And here we are at round three,
309
00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:16,007
In which tuca decides
310
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,411
If a contestant
is a good voiceover announcer.
311
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,347
So...
312
00:11:21,349 --> 00:11:22,814
Sorry, it's a pass.
313
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,884
I'm not attracted
to a soothing male baritone.
314
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,619
I wanna be agitated!
315
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:31,290
"heartbreak", coming soon
to a man that is me!
316
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,894
I don't think sheena is here
for the right reasons.
317
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,029
But I am
and that's to get to my street.
318
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,498
Oh, here it is!
319
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,102
For the next round, um...
320
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,572
Do you gals like,
uh... Broccoli?
321
00:11:46,574 --> 00:11:48,574
Yeah! I love it!
322
00:11:48,576 --> 00:11:49,541
Wrong answer.
323
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,577
There's only room
324
00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:53,111
For one broccoli lover
in my life
325
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,780
And that's my best friend
bertie.
326
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,514
♪ oh, I'm a big monster ♪
327
00:11:56,516 --> 00:12:00,052
♪ eating tiny trees, tiny trees
tiny trees! ♪
328
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:03,589
So, do I...
329
00:12:03,591 --> 00:12:04,990
Oh, no!
330
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,324
[air hisses]
331
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,994
I could fix it in a jiffy.
I'm, I'm a mechanic.
332
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,862
You're a sexy say that again?
333
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,330
A mechanic.
334
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,401
It's like a therapist
for your car?
335
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,535
There's no one in my life
who knows how to fix a tire,
336
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,271
Even me.
337
00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:20,738
You win sex bus!
338
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,174
Nifty.
339
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,943
Is it all over?
340
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,744
Was I a fool to hold out hope?
341
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,813
Yep.
[grunts]
342
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:30,049
Text me!
343
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:33,418
Well, howdy there!
344
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,288
[upbeat music]
345
00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:38,290
Can I actually use any of this?
346
00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:40,426
[bertie] crystals... Colors...
347
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:42,294
Turtle!
348
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:44,162
Ouch! Crud!
349
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,699
Draca? I mean cool. You're cool.
350
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,368
Hey, where's my notebook?
351
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,569
Thanks.
[soft chuckle]
352
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,570
Sweet notebook.
353
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:53,439
What's in there?
354
00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:55,841
Sweet notebook.
355
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,375
Are you negging me?
356
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,110
You know what,
I can't read your tone
357
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,712
And I don't have time
to figure it out!
358
00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:02,914
We just like milk.
359
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,316
Milk is cool.
360
00:13:04,318 --> 00:13:06,051
If you must know,
it's a list of ways
361
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,986
To prevent an anxiety attack.
362
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,856
Just like, see a mental
health professional.
363
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:14,259
That's what I'm trying to do!
364
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,328
"don't wait.
Go grab what you want.
365
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:18,930
Even if it seems pushy
and rude."
366
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,132
Okay, I will!
367
00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:21,933
Thanks, teens!
368
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,402
[plant teen 3 burps]
369
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:29,007
[humming]
370
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,276
Wait, I have to see
dr. Esther emu!
371
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:34,079
I'm invoking
a "psychological emergency"!
372
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,882
-Ah, frick.
-[door closes]
373
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,884
"psychological emergency".
374
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,352
Ah, frick.
375
00:13:40,354 --> 00:13:42,888
You look like you have
a hot date, I'm so sorry.
376
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,556
I dress for myself.
377
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:45,491
Well, I have a hot date,
378
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:47,425
I need to be there
in 15 minutes,
379
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,261
And you have to help me
or... Or else, I'll...
380
00:13:50,698 --> 00:13:52,164
Steal all your magazines!
381
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,099
Take the magazines.
We don't even buy them.
382
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,300
They just appear.
383
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,836
Whoa.
384
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,437
Oh, go ahead, little bird.
385
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,706
-Tell me your problem.
-[sighs]
386
00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:03,775
I need to know the best way
to prevent panic attacks.
387
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:05,177
I'm desperate.
388
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:07,779
When you start to feel
out of control,
389
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:08,714
Close your eyes
390
00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:11,649
When you start to feel
out of control,
391
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:15,453
When the panic attack is over
and you've survived it.
392
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,189
That's brilliant!
393
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:18,524
It works because no one
394
00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:20,658
Has ever died
from a panic attack.
395
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,327
Yeah, oh, that's right.
396
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,863
Except everyone
who panics while driving.
397
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,664
They all crash and die.
398
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,733
Oh, thank you!
399
00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,101
Thank you so much!
400
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,870
I lied.
401
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,071
I dress like this for you.
402
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,740
We're late for salsa class.
403
00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:36,542
Oh, to heck with salsa.
404
00:14:36,544 --> 00:14:41,012
[upbeat music]
405
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,215
Now, this is my comfort zone.
406
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,283
Unlike dating! Gee whiz.
407
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,085
But you seem so comfy and cool!
408
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,888
Oh, heck, no, glad I fooled ya!
409
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:50,688
I'm a wreck!
410
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:54,159
Oh, heck, no, glad I fooled ya!
411
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,227
I liked it.
412
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,494
Made things low pressure.
413
00:14:56,496 --> 00:15:00,432
Which is bad for tires
but great for this gal!
414
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:03,301
Hold the tire here like that.
415
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,770
At least with all those people
on the bus,
416
00:15:04,772 --> 00:15:07,773
I could avoid those
first date awkward silences.
417
00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:09,174
Those are the worst.
418
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,480
Maybe they aren't that bad.
419
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:16,982
[both moan]
420
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:18,716
Nifty.
421
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,253
[lively music]
422
00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:24,456
Hi, hi, hi! Sorry! I made it!
423
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:27,525
Good news!
They have vegetable skewers!
424
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,261
Aka food swords!
425
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,529
Aka expectations met!
426
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,730
[sighs]
427
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,266
I'm so happy
to be here with you.
428
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,868
This is so special!
You're such a pretty bird!
429
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,003
[laughs nervously]
430
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,472
Sorry, I'm late
to take your order...
431
00:15:40,474 --> 00:15:42,540
-[lightning crackles]
-I was surfing.
432
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:46,478
That's why my feathers
are so perfectly wavy.
433
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,081
And don't ask me where
the bathroom is here
434
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:50,949
Because I don't know.
435
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,084
Because I don't shit.
436
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,820
Two prix fixe dinners, please.
437
00:15:54,822 --> 00:15:56,554
Great choice.
[chuckles]
438
00:15:56,556 --> 00:16:00,059
[bertie] imagine the world
five minutes in the future.
439
00:16:00,628 --> 00:16:02,294
[fire crackling]
440
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:03,829
[clucks]
441
00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:05,497
[howls]
442
00:16:05,499 --> 00:16:06,898
[screams]
443
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,435
What's happening?
444
00:16:09,437 --> 00:16:12,170
Uh, speckle,
I'm feeling a little nervous.
445
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,171
Oh, no.
446
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,640
Do you want me
to use the "worry vacuum"?
447
00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:15,573
[mimics vacuum buzzing]
448
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,843
Do you want me
to use the "worry vacuum"?
449
00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,244
Just pretend everything
is normal.
450
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,578
Tell me about your day.
451
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,913
[gasps]
well...
452
00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:23,315
Uh, we've been busting our tails
453
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,782
Getting this proposal done
454
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,552
For the new bathrooms
at bird town park...
455
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,320
[shatters]
456
00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,387
[both chitter]
457
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,056
-...And...
-Mother of...
458
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,390
Uh, are you okay?
459
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,259
Yes! Keep talking!
460
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:37,529
Okay, well, len wanted this
brutalist design...
461
00:16:37,531 --> 00:16:39,264
-Brutalist?
-...Which meant the toilets
462
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,066
Would be shaped
like a skeletal box.
463
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,400
Skeletal?
464
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,535
You know, typical len!
465
00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:45,137
-The order paperwork for it...
-Paperwork?
466
00:16:45,139 --> 00:16:46,338
...Was just murder.
467
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,073
Murder? What the hell?
468
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,274
Yeah, len sucks.
469
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,876
Oh, yay, food!
470
00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:55,681
Beet salad with red peppers
and cherry chunks and stuff.
471
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,483
Oooh!
472
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:03,021
Red... Blood red... Red blood...
473
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,357
-[sobs]
-oh, my god, bertie?
474
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,959
[babbles]
just ignore me!
475
00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:10,028
Sweetie? Talk to me.
476
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,830
[in deep voice]
go away!
477
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:14,500
[nervous chuckle]
uh, delicious.
478
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:18,970
[both moan]
479
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:20,806
[phone buzzing]
480
00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:23,375
Sorry.
481
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,110
I gotta go!
482
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,912
My friend bertie is in trouble!
483
00:17:26,914 --> 00:17:28,914
Oh, gee! Is she hurt?
484
00:17:28,916 --> 00:17:31,917
Her boyfriend just texted,
she's having a panic attack!
485
00:17:31,919 --> 00:17:34,186
Oh, your poor buddy.
Has this happened before?
486
00:17:34,188 --> 00:17:37,523
Oh, yeah. This is a pattern.
It repeats weekly.
487
00:17:37,525 --> 00:17:40,326
Uh, then why do you need to go?
488
00:17:40,328 --> 00:17:42,594
Her fella's there, right?
She sounds needy.
489
00:17:42,596 --> 00:17:45,331
Nuh-uh, I'm the clingy,
codependent one.
490
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,532
Bertie's the sweetest...
491
00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:48,534
Like, okay, if the radio's on
492
00:17:48,536 --> 00:17:51,203
And there's some horrible,
stupid pop song playing,
493
00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:52,670
Bertie would rather
listen to that
494
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:55,673
Than put on something good
from her own playlist.
495
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,344
♪ I'm always gonna love you... ♪
496
00:17:58,346 --> 00:18:00,412
Hundreds of other people
in bird town
497
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:03,681
Are listening to this same song
right now,
498
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:04,750
And I dunno,
499
00:18:04,752 --> 00:18:06,418
It just makes me feel
less alone.
500
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,486
We're all connected!
501
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,156
Isn't that the sweetest thing
you've ever heard?
502
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:12,891
She's a freakin' sweetheart.
503
00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:14,760
A frookin' sweetie pie, okay?
504
00:18:14,762 --> 00:18:17,763
Okay, okay,
I didn't say she wasn't sweet.
505
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:19,565
Are you in love with her
or something?
506
00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,233
It's way deeper than that.
507
00:18:21,235 --> 00:18:23,235
She's my best friend!
508
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,503
You wait here.
509
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,573
Do not follow me in.
510
00:18:27,575 --> 00:18:28,774
Bertie hates meeting new people!
511
00:18:28,776 --> 00:18:30,375
I'm gonna go home.
512
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,578
Why? We were having a good time!
513
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:34,446
I don't think you want
another person
514
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,581
In your life right now.
515
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:38,116
I've watched you make
silly billy excuses
516
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,586
For every contestant
you kicked off sex bus today.
517
00:18:40,588 --> 00:18:42,388
Seems like you're using
your friend
518
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:44,389
As another reason to stay alone.
519
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,324
You're very preachy
for a mechanic.
520
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,793
All mechanics are preachy.
521
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:50,262
Sheesh, people don't take care
of their cars!
522
00:18:50,264 --> 00:18:52,931
Then I guess you're eliminated!
523
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:54,633
Whatever you wanna call it.
524
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,335
[eerie music]
525
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,538
[thunder rumbles]
526
00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:05,010
Bertie. Why don't you let me in
and we can talk?
527
00:19:05,012 --> 00:19:06,878
No, I'm a burden!
528
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,546
You don't want
a rotten old house
529
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,949
Full of banshees and babadooks!
530
00:19:10,951 --> 00:19:14,085
[joanne]maybe speckle and tuca
like helping you.
531
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:16,221
Huh? Dr. Joanne?
532
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,157
They love you
because of who you are,
533
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:22,094
You don't have to fix yourself
before letting them in.
534
00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:23,228
[speckle] bertie!
535
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,431
Oh, colonial shutters.
536
00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:27,299
You're such a cool house,
bertie!
537
00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:29,101
Speckle is an architect.
538
00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:31,437
[bertie]he loves getting inside
crappy old houses
539
00:19:31,439 --> 00:19:32,570
To fix them up.
540
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:35,507
[bertie]he loves getting inside
crappy old houses
541
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,643
Maybe they don't mind
that I'm haunted.
542
00:19:37,645 --> 00:19:40,446
♪ I'm always gonna love you... ♪
543
00:19:40,448 --> 00:19:44,450
Wait, I love this song.
544
00:19:44,452 --> 00:19:46,518
-Tuca!
-See, you're okay!
545
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:47,986
You're not alone.
546
00:19:47,988 --> 00:19:49,187
I'm your panic mechanic!
547
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,056
I always know what you need.
548
00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:52,390
And I texted tuca.
549
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,060
The important thing is
we all helped equally!
550
00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:55,961
Aw...
551
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,732
[somber music]
552
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,869
Uh, just following your lead,
babe,
553
00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:07,072
But if we leave now,
I don't have to pay for parking.
554
00:20:07,074 --> 00:20:08,040
Let's bounce!
555
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,643
Ugh!
[grunts]
556
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,481
[groans, screams in pain]
557
00:20:15,483 --> 00:20:17,415
Uh, what's happening?
558
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,084
What is this sensation?
559
00:20:19,086 --> 00:20:22,620
Uh, it feels like I'm surfing
a killer wave
560
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,490
Inside my own body?
[chuckles]
561
00:20:24,492 --> 00:20:26,692
Is this... Am I...
[nervous chuckle]
562
00:20:26,694 --> 00:20:30,729
...Shitting?
[disgusted groan]
563
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,231
[gasps, groans]
564
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,734
[upbeat music]
565
00:20:37,171 --> 00:20:40,305
Boom! Anniversary ambiance!
566
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,508
Okay, four pickles?
567
00:20:42,510 --> 00:20:44,510
Pfft, this is way better than
that stuffy restaurant.
568
00:20:44,512 --> 00:20:46,644
I'm sorry about tonight,
speckle.
569
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,515
You know, I tried so hard
to avoid having a panic attack,
570
00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:51,717
It's like I guaranteed it
to happen!
571
00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:53,185
I just don't want you
to feel like
572
00:20:53,187 --> 00:20:54,652
You have to suffer alone, okay?
573
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,121
I love sitting under tables
with you.
574
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:59,257
I'm down to build a table fort
at literally any moment.
575
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,594
I think I'm gonna keep seeing
this therapist, dr. Joanne,
576
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,062
And work on this stuff with her.
577
00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:06,532
You found a therapist you like?
That's great!
578
00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:08,800
What about you, tuca?
Did you like your date?
579
00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:10,602
I didn't find the person
or anything,
580
00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:14,272
But it was still... Nifty.
581
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,408
[chomps]
I'm going upstairs.
582
00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:19,611
Let you guys have
some alone time.
583
00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:22,414
Thanks, tuca. We love you.
584
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:24,282
Mm-hm.
585
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:26,151
You looked handsome tonight.
586
00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:27,653
I know, right?
587
00:21:35,829 --> 00:21:37,663
Bleh!
588
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,708
♪ you're caught off guard ♪
589
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:53,645
♪ and maybe you've fallen off ♪
590
00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:56,047
♪ please don't let them ♪
591
00:21:56,049 --> 00:22:01,186
♪ make you think
any less of it ♪
592
00:22:01,188 --> 00:22:04,590
♪ you're caught off guard ♪
593
00:22:04,592 --> 00:22:07,726
♪ and maybe you've fallen off ♪
594
00:22:07,728 --> 00:22:10,061
♪ please don't let them ♪
595
00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:14,700
♪ make you change
your end place ♪
596
00:22:16,470 --> 00:22:19,337
Blue, blue.
597
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:22,574
Blue, blue, blue.