1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,718 [theme song  plays] 2 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:13,388 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪ 3 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:17,434 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪ 4 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Bertie & Tuca and Tuca & Bertie ♪ 5 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,730 ♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪ 6 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,858 -♪ Tuca ♪ -♪ And Bertie ♪ 7 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,777 [both vocalize] 8 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,082 [theme song ends] 9 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,129 [dance music playing] 10 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,799 Hey! [grunts] 11 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,093 -I'm getting the hang of this. -[chimes] 12 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:56,557 Ooh! I can't believe I'm gonna get paid to get horny folks off... virtually. 13 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,683 Watch out, Internet. 14 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:01,353 Tuca is online, courtesy of Bertie's Wi-Fi password! 15 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,772 [chuckles] 16 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,192 All right, let's get into it. 17 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:12,281 Hi, I'm Connie, your friendly virtual "Reali-Tease" online assistant. 18 00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,950 It looks like you're engaging in your first transaction. 19 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,910 Would you like some judgment-free help? 20 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,246 Shut up, computer. Don't tell me how to doink! 21 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:23,584 I'm only doing this because I refuse to live off my auntie anymore. 22 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,710 -[dance music plays] -Hey. 23 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:28,005 -Hello, DirtyGoat. Wanna play? -Heck, yeah. 24 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,256 [computer] Jerk it! 25 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,300 All right! My first customer! 26 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,261 -[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! -[beeping] 27 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:38,015 -[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Grind! Grind! -[DirtyGoat moaning] 28 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,099 [computer] Jerk! Jerk! 29 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,059 Ow! My side. 30 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,520 [groans] Ow! 31 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,523 That sounds pretty bad. Maybe you should go see a doctor? 32 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,441 Good idea. 33 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,359 Paging Dr. Garlic! 34 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,653 [DirtyGoat] Hey, don't stop! I'm not finished! 35 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,447 -[computer] Jerk. -[DirtyGoat groans] 36 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,615 [computer] Ultra climax! 37 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:55,907 -[DirtyGoat] Thank you! -[beeps] 38 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,368 Yeah-- Ow.  [groaning] 39 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,539 [sighs] 40 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,042 Yeah! 41 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,462 [gasps] 42 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,922 That was beautiful. 43 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,800 I was late on the dismount. It's trash! 44 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,136 This has to be perfect for Yeast Week. 45 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,471 ♪ Yeast Week! ♪ 46 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,891 The most elite convergence of baking's boldest and brightest! 47 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,768 We're introducing crünts to the world! 48 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,270 Aren't crunts already world-famous? 49 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:29,650 No, that was crunts, a combo of crullers and Bundt cake. 50 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,693 These are crünts. 51 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,697 It's croissants and Bundt cake. 52 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,407 Oh, I get it. 53 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,743 -[sighs] -Hey! 54 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,911 Caw! 55 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,705 Nice. A talking hole! 56 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,916 Now we don't have to use our phones. [chuckles] 57 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,960 Way more useful than the other holes I've put in this building. 58 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:53,423 Possible title ideas for my inevitable memoir. 59 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,508 [clears throat] 60 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,676 Title one: 61 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:59,304 How to Rise, Rise, Ascend, and Never Fall: 62 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,431 The Dapper Dog Story. 63 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,309 Oh, dear. I'm standing on the ceiling. 64 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,144 [yelps] 65 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,606 I was just practicing the quadruple cabriole de crünt. 66 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,984 Pastry Pete wants me to perform it for a demo at Yeast Week! 67 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,236 In public! 68 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,821 In front of a huge audience! 69 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,614 Live and on an Internet stream! 70 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,282 Oh, yeah. 71 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,660 Yeast Week!  [groans] 72 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,704 Remember when we tried to sneak in last year? 73 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,456 You thought it was a completely different kind of event. 74 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,166 Ah! Yes, your felony. 75 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,086 Well, I need to permanently borrow the following items: 76 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:34,297 garlic, garlic, dish soap, garlic, and a bag for the garlic. 77 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:39,052 Tuca, are you making your own medicine from that Dr. Garlic book again? 78 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,179 Ow-trageous! 79 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,682 That is an outrageous accusation. 80 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,808 Ow! 81 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,228 It's just a mild cramp. Check it out. 82 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,398 [gasps] That looks serious! Maybe you should go see a doctor. 83 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,691 Hmm, let me see. 84 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,527 -[throbbing] -[ominous music plays] 85 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,988 Yep. As usual, Bertie is right. 86 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,198 That is gross, and I am out of here. 87 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,701 [whistling tune] 88 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,288 [Speckle retches] 89 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,250 Oh, God!  [groans] 90 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,168 [retches] 91 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,420 Tuca, I'm worried about you. 92 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,465 -I know you're afraid of doctors... -Unless they're made out of garlic, yes. 93 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:20,010 ...but I can take you to see one today, a real one. 94 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,136 Not necessary. 95 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,721 Please think about it? 96 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,598 I'm busy this whole weekend with Yeast Week. 97 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,515 ♪ Yeast Week! ♪ 98 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,767 But I'm free this afternoon. 99 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,519 I don't need some government-approved, cut-them-up, ship-them-out, 100 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,897 Western and most parts of the East medicine! 101 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,523 [grunts] 102 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,108 See? All fixed. 103 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,073 Bertie! Bertie! The garlic made me better! 104 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,450 Just like it does with bread! 105 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:44,910 That's nice, Tuca. 106 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,078 -[Tuca groans] -Ugh! 107 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,750 Bertie! Bertie! How many teaspoons are in an ounce? 108 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,586 Ooh! Never mind, I'll just drink the whole bottle. 109 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,004 [Tuca burps] 110 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,007 Come on! 111 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,760 Bertie, how many Band-Aids in a doctor's dozen? 112 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,055 Bertie, should I squeeze lemon into an open wound? 113 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,350 Bertie, do you have enough mustard to fill a bath tub? 114 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:09,810 [Bertie growls] 115 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,147 -Bertie! Bertie! -Eh! What? 116 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,273 I love you. 117 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,608 Aww! 118 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,111 What? How did that even-- [growls] 119 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,365 [burps] I'm feeling great. 120 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,616 My medicine is working, 121 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,327 and now it's time  for some virtual jerking. 122 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,829 I should write greeting cards. 123 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:33,458 All right, all right, here I am. Where the boys at? 124 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,795 -Uh... -Are you shy, you cute little deviant? 125 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,797 No. Well, kind of. 126 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,840 I'm just lonely. 127 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,635 My first ever girlfriend dumped me, and I'm just looking for some company. 128 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,428 Aw! You seem sweet. 129 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,013 Nice name. 130 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:51,101 It wasn't my first choice, but Big_Hairy_Stallion68 was taken. 131 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,979 Great, how about we step into the Seedy Motel 132 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,814 so I can handle your candle? 133 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,315 [groans] 134 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,901 Oh, are we cuddling? Uh, that seems nice. 135 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,152 Ow! 136 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,238 Oh, you want me to be the little spoon? 137 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,031 Okay, don't mind if I do! 138 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:08,285 [chuckles] Don't put me in soup. I belong in tea! 139 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,828 It's a spoon size joke. 140 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,330 -[exclaims] -[Stallion] Hello? Are you okay? 141 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,958 -Bertie! Bertie! -[Speckle] Tuca, is that you? 142 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,836 Speckle, come here. She can hear us through the hole. 143 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,297 -What's going on? -[grumbles] I'm so frustrated. 144 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,799 She's been at this all day. She's just... 145 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,802 so needy. 146 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,430 Damn, vent! Why you gotta do me like this? 147 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,181 [Bertie] Let me check up on her real quick. 148 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,310 Tuca, is everything okay? 149 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,645 Yeah. Just wanted to say... 150 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,731 [groans] ...good night. 151 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,692 [sighs] Good night, Tuca. 152 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,530 [Stallion] Are you there? Hello? Hello? 153 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,115 Help. 154 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,075 -[computer chimes] -[Connie] Hello! 155 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,287 Do you need help with your virtual sex transaction? 156 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,204 Hello? 157 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,960 Ooh! 158 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,715 ♪ I finally made it to Yeast Week ♪ 159 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,593 ♪ I've got the whole world By the tip of my beak ♪ 160 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:10,347 ♪ It's like a dream But I've been awakened ♪ 161 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,017 ♪ At this venue exclusive for baking ♪ 162 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,812 Bertie, please, only first-timers sing by the fountain. 163 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,190 -♪ La la la la... ♪ -♪ What a treat, my week is so sweet ♪ 164 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,360 ♪ I'm gonna divorce my husband ♪ 165 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,741 Uh, hello? 166 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,451 -Are you alive? -[groaning] What? 167 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,079 Hi. I'm Big_Hairy_Stallion69. 168 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,705 Remember? I was the little spoon. 169 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,582 -You asked me for help. -I did? 170 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,419 Then you yelled your address and a very complicated pizza order. 171 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,130 -You actually came here to help me? -Yep. 172 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,132 It was only a seven-hour drive. 173 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,468 Hour one, I was like, "This feels right." 174 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,303 Hour two, I wondered, "Is this weird?" 175 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,223 Hour three, I was all, "Yep, this is definitely weird." 176 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,267 Hour four, I thought, "But maybe it's nice for a stranger 177 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:59,104 to display a kind gesture in this cruel, cold world." 178 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,064 Hour five, I stopped for gas and had a snack. 179 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:05,360 And now, here I am, seven hours later, still unsure. 180 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:08,279 It's just nice to know someone out there cares about me. 181 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,407 [groans] 182 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,076 We should probably go to the hospital, right? 183 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,245 [sighs] 184 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,998 [pop music plays] 185 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,876 Welcome to Yeast Week's nerve center! 186 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:26,131 Wow! The world's most famous chefs are here! 187 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,841 That's Chef Steele Laurent, 188 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,427 the first pastry chef to put salt on a cookie! 189 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,344 [crowd applauds] 190 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,637 That's Chef Winter Garcia, 191 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:35,181 the first chef to stuff a pickle into a biscuit! 192 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,686 If you look closely, you can catch some sexual overtones in her work. 193 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,396 -[suction noise] -[crowd applauds] 194 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,857 And that's Chef Dante Ferrari! 195 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,360 He's the first chef to steal all his recipes from his grandma. 196 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,029 And that's his grandma! 197 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,740 [in Italian accent] Dante, come and give your grandma some kisses. 198 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,451 Come on, Dante. I want those kisses. 199 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,161 Give it, give it! Kisses! 200 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:59,831 [chuckles] Yes, I know all these people, but I love a good recap. 201 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:03,001 [gasps] Is that what I think it is? 202 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:08,256 Oh, Bertie, how I love seeing my world through your sweet, innocent eyes! 203 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,842 [gasps] The grand hall. 204 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,595 This place is legendary for not allowing flash photography. 205 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,556 Oh! I thought the flash was off! I thought the flash was off! 206 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,350 Ladies and gentle-birds and plants, humans, 207 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,811 and sometimes inanimate objects that talk... 208 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,063 What a weird world! 209 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,982 I give you the donut dive! 210 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,824 -[crowd cheers] -[howls] 211 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,410 [pop music playing] 212 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,829 And ta-da! Here you go! 213 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:44,709 This is where we shall introduce the baking world to my new crünt. 214 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,461 Whoa. 215 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,923 All you have to do, Bertie, is better than that. 216 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,217 [crowd cheers] 217 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,887 [chuckles uncomfortably] 218 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,140 [screams] 219 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,060 Tuca? Hello? 220 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:05,188 Uh, Bertie asked me to check up on you, so-- 221 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,397 Hey, that's my mug. 222 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,317 And that's my laptop. 223 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,945 -Hmm. -[electronic chirping] 224 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,323 Ooh, fun! Looks like some kind of open-world video game. 225 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,827 [man over computer] Oh, come suck me off, you nasty bird! 226 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,703 [laughs] Must be some kind of villain. 227 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,748 -[computer] Jerk! -This must be how I punch? 228 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,708 -[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! -[man groans] 229 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,086 [laughs] Yeah, that's right, computer. He is a jerk! 230 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,421 -[man] Oh, yeah. Oh, God. -Take that and that! 231 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,841 -[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! -[grunting] 232 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,717 -[groans] -[computer] JO. 233 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,010 [laughs] Yes! 234 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,347 Huh. 235 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,143 [mouse clicks] 236 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,479 Excuse me, while I wait for my terrified friend, 237 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:50,316 do you have any Ethernet cables I could use to start a LAN party? 238 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,360 Just a second, sir. 239 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,445 Let me see what I can find. 240 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:02,704 [buzzing] 241 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,373 -[sighs] -[door opens] 242 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,375 Hello, I'm Dr. Sherman. I'm here to examine-- 243 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,460 Are you gonna cut me up and sew my booty hole 244 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,045 to someone else's booty hole? 245 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,630 Tell me! Tell me, woman! 246 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,091 [sobs] Caawaaa! 247 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,552 -Oh, you're nervous. -[machine chimes] 248 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,597 Hi, I'm Ultra-Sam, the ultrasound machine. 249 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,307 I've been programmed to comfort you. 250 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,268 We tried to teach doctors empathy, but it didn't take. 251 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,645 Don't worry. Everything's going to be okay. 252 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,523 That's what Bertie would have said. She's programmed to comfort me. 253 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,858 Or at least she was. 254 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,277 Now all she talks about is Irish butter. 255 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,405 "The cultured cream enhances the flavor notes, Tuca." 256 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,992 Good news! The doctor is almost done looking inside you. 257 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,452 Nothing to worry about. 258 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,829 She's just going to confer with some colleagues and check-- 259 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,498 Okay, let's cut the shit. I need you to plug in my wife. 260 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:48,750 She's right over there. 261 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,086 -She's a lamp? -She's so much more! 262 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,547 You're not seeing her in the best... light. 263 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,760 -Oh, how she would have laughed at that. -Aw! 264 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,470 Cherish those you love, Tuca. 265 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,431 You never know when they may become disconnected from your life. 266 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,766 Please, plug her in before-- 267 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,059 -[door opens] -They're back. 268 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,102 Fuck! Fuck! Be cool! Be cool! 269 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:11,856 [clears throat] So, if that weird bulge turns out to be cancer, 270 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,526 hey, sometimes life gives you cancer and you make can-sirloin steak-- 271 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,404 Ugh. Okay, we need to get some X-rays. 272 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,616 Are you gonna be a big girl, or do you need the robot? 273 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,745 [crowd cheers] 274 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:30,083 You're all familiar with my Tasty Num Nums Award-winning invention, 275 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:34,295 a delicate marriage between crullers and Bundt cake, the crunt. 276 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,965 Today, I bring you something new: 277 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,341 the crünt. 278 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,259 [crowd gasps] 279 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,969 Croissants, Bundt cakes, 280 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,429 historically, they've been natural enemies. 281 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,890 Some have asked, why bring them together? 282 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,226 I ask, why not? 283 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,144 Because it's dangerous. 284 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,648 I have perfected this process, and in the interest of science, 285 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,818 will be generously sharing my methodology with you all! 286 00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:01,739 Here to perform it, my lovely assistant Roberta Songthrush! 287 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,075 [dramatic music plays] 288 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,288 Hi. 289 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,291 But first, to display my lovely ingredients, 290 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,501 my even lovelier drones! 291 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,169 [crowd cheers and applauds] 292 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:21,509 Oh. 293 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,303 [Pete] The perfect egg is crucial, 294 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,848 for the yolk and white must be yin and yang, 295 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,891 in rhapsodic symmetry with... 296 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,436 [Bertie] Okay, Bertie, you're not nervous. 297 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,478 You're not nervous! 298 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,232 Eh! Hands, why must you betray me? 299 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,568 After all the times I lotioned you! 300 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,652 [gasps] 301 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,530 Many have tried and failed the following technique. 302 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,365 I went to all their funerals. 303 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,701 Closed caskets. Every one. 304 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,662 The quadruple cabriole de crünt! 305 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,498 [breathes deeply] 306 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,091 [pants] 307 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,719 -[hip-hop music plays] -[crowd cheers] 308 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,387 [screams] 309 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:16,606 Okay, let me put this as sensitively as I can. 310 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,982 You have an egg up in your cooch, 311 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,902 and you'd be a moron not to cut that shit out of your lady pipes. 312 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:24,030 Hmm. Okay. Thank you so much for the information. 313 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,324 I will be opting out of surgery. 314 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,284 -Ow! -Listen, lady, 315 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,745 it's twisted up in your ovaries real good. 316 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,457 And if you don't remove it, it will rupture,  and you will die. 317 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,918 But don't worry. We've got the best doctors. 318 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,217 [Tallulah] That's just like your mama not to wear a seat belt. 319 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,803 [Tuca] Auntie, is my mom gonna be okay? 320 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,763 [Tallulah] Don't you worry, sweetie. 321 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,932 They got the best doctors.  322 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,484 [chuckles] To the crünt! 323 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,153 May it become the newest food fad that everyone loves 324 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,030 to the point that people begin to resent it 325 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:09,242 as it comes to symbolize the frivolity of the idle rich! 326 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,827 -Cheers. -[giggles] 327 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,078 Cheers. 328 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,289 Ooh! What a rush! 329 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:18,668 I guess now I'll go back to the hotel and fill a bucket with ice. 330 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,254 I was thinking of inviting a certain someone 331 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,257 to a certain exclusive dinner gathering for chefs. 332 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,218 [gasps] The Bread Bowl! 333 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,428 I've heard of that! 334 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,430 -[chatter] -Welcome! Your seat is waiting! 335 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,018 [Bertie] The world's baking elite dine on the finest foods, 336 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,896 talk pastry, complain about lesser bakers, 337 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,691 and then, when the last drop of wine is drunk... 338 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,694 -they eat the table! -[laughs] Yes! 339 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,572 -Whoo! -A fine recap of things I already know. 340 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,031 Who are you going to invite? 341 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,993 -You dear, delicate, little fool. -[door opens] 342 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,077 It's you. 343 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:56,539 Ah! Holy fucking shit, the freaking Bread Bowl? 344 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,458 Are you shitting serious? 345 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,960 Yes, I am shitting serious. 346 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,421 [squeals] 347 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,549 [phone buzzes and whistles] 348 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,968 Well, are you coming? 349 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,640 -Uh, just a minute. -Ugh. 350 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:18,436 Speckle, I did so well at the presentation and everyone said-- 351 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,396 Bertie, Tuca is in the hospital. 352 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,690 Wait, what happened? Are you with her? 353 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,400 No. Uh, not exactly. 354 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,651 Then how did you find out? 355 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,904 Uh... 356 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:33,201 [Speckle mimicking Tuca]Hey, boys! Look at me shake my thing! 357 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:36,787 Tuca? Are you still in the hospital? 'Cause I'm in the waiting room. 358 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:37,705 [Speckle] What? 359 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,457 Uh... 360 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,584 -Word of mouth? -[Bertie] Oh, my God! 361 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,710 Is she okay? 362 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,505 I dunno. She's about to go into surgery. You need to come right away. 363 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,756 [beeps] 364 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,175 [sighs] 365 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,805 Pastry Pete, thank you so much, but I have a kind of family emergency. 366 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:55,723 I have to go. 367 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:59,060 Well, this is a one-time ticket, but do what you must. 368 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,478 You're an adult bird woman. 369 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:04,649 I can't force you to make the right decision for your career. 370 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,110 [all laugh] 371 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:20,164 ♪ I feel like a shrimp being shucked ♪ 372 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,251 ♪ Feels like I ate a monster truck ♪ 373 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,796 ♪ Oh, piece by piece And now I'm fucked ♪ 374 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,593 ♪ I'm driving through the poison muck ♪ 375 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,596 ♪ Inside myself and getting stuck ♪ 376 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,016 ♪ I'm tearing it up I'm shit outta luck ♪ 377 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:46,023 ♪ I can't stand this loss of control ♪ 378 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,193 ♪ I feel so scared and vulnerable ♪ 379 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:54,365 ♪ It hurts too much to face this fear now Without a friend ♪ 380 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,411 ♪ Just wait, don't start yet ♪ 381 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,580 ♪ I'm not ready ♪ 382 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,126 ♪ Is this the end? ♪ 383 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,461 [heart monitor beeping] 384 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,511 [Stallion] But we've been dating since high school. 385 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,306 -I just wish I knew what I did wrong. -Mm-hmm. 386 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:20,975 Normally, I'd never say this about a woman, 387 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:25,646 but your ex-girlfriend sounds like a big meanie. 388 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:29,233 Maybe you didn't break up so much as grow up. 389 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,484 Whoa! 390 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:33,613 [pants] I got here as fast as I could. 391 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,281 What's going on? Can I see her? 392 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,451 She's still in surgery. The doctors say all we can do is wait. 393 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,873 [siren wails] 394 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,251 [Bertie] I told her to stop drinking. I told her it was too much. 395 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,961 [EMT] We have to pump her stomach. 396 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,464 -[Bertie] What can I do? -[EMT] All you can do is wait. 397 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,885 [siren wails] 398 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,474 [cries] 399 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,310 [heart monitor beeping] 400 00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:19,909 -[door opens] -Tuca, I'm so glad you're okay. 401 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,995 What? I'm always okay. 402 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:26,207 I's fine. I's Tuca. 403 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,334 [sighs] 404 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,008 I'll miss you, Speckle. 405 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,719 I'll miss you, too, Big_Hairy_Stallion69. 406 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,471 You can call me Joel. 407 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:42,973 No. 408 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,851 [whispers] I never will. 409 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:46,769 [EMT grunts] 410 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,896 [Ultra-Sam] I love you, baby. Let's get out of here! 411 00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,987 -Here you go. Come on. You're all right. -[groans] 412 00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,198 [grunts] 413 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,576 [snores] 414 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:05,996 [Bertie groans] 415 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:08,958 [sighs] 416 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,001 [grunts] 417 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,295 [electricity zaps] 418 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:17,883 Ew. 419 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,969 Bertie, are you cleaning up? 420 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,179 Yeah, just a bit. 421 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,598 -You don't need to do that. -Mm, it's okay. 422 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,142 If I don't do it, who will? 423 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,186 Are you mad at me? 424 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,981 No, it's just... look at this place. 425 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,400 Is this how you live without me? 426 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:38,487 Oh, I see what this is about. You don't think I can take care of myself. 427 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,906 -What? -I know you think I'm needy. 428 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:44,660 That's right! I heard it all through the talking vents! 429 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,288 [sighs] Tuca,  what do you want me to say? 430 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,290 You are needy. You always need me. 431 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,876 You always get to be the fun, carefree party-animal. 432 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,627 But I have to be the worry-wart. 433 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,504 But when you're not around, guess what. 434 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,548 I am fun! I am brave! 435 00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:01,260 -What are you even talking about? -I performed the crünt demo perfectly. 436 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,553 Everyone loved me. 437 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,764 Pastry Pete invited me to an exclusive dinner, 438 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,057 and he winked at me! 439 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:10,060 Are you listening to yourself? Bertie, you have a boyfriend! 440 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,480 -[grumbles] -What are you even trying to do? 441 00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:13,814 Who even are you? 442 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,318 Why does Pastry Pete's new pastry have the same name as the old one? 443 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,236 -Why didn't he call it the boint? -[scoffs] 444 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,406 I didn't ask you to be here. I can take care of myself! 445 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,909 I had a weird acquaintance take me to the hospital. 446 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:27,787 I asked to take you to the hospital several times. 447 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,830 Even back in college, you didn't listen to me 448 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,624 and ended up in the emergency room! 449 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,876 That was different. I don't even drink anymore. 450 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,837 [sighs] Tuca, I know you just went through surgery, 451 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,422 so I'm gonna let you rest. 452 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,804 But let me just say one more thing. 453 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,307 Let's not forget the time your cut-off jorts 454 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:50,392 totally ruined my summer vacation! 455 00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:53,103 So, we're bringing that up? Because I can bring up things, too. 456 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,314 Like when you got us kicked out of Anita's wedding 457 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:57,775 because you insisted the buffet was all-you-can-eat! 458 00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,360 Tuca, that was you! 459 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,028 Oh, yeah, it was. 460 00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:04,782 And this is my ChapStick! I bought this ChapStick! 461 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,492 Who even buys ChapStick? 462 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:09,829 Where do you think ChapStick comes from? It doesn't just magically appear! 463 00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,330 You're just not looking hard enough! 464 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,624 Spencer didn't even deserve you. 465 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,502 He was just a stupid frat boy pelican. 466 00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,045 Thank you for saying that. 467 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,297 And you'll never be happy in a relationship 468 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,466 because no one is ever good enough for you! 469 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,218 Why would you say that? 470 00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:27,179 Why do you think you're better than me? I helped with your promotion! 471 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:31,183 You can't even leave the house without me because you're such a little wuss! 472 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,894 -I always drop everything to help you! -[scoffs] 473 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:37,022 I pray for the day you can't just drop everything to help me 474 00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:39,358 because you actually have a job! 475 00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,902 [both sob] 476 00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,196 Look how mean you made me be! 477 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,657 [sighs] What now? 478 00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:49,702 I don't know. This is all so hard. 479 00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,079 Things used to be so much fun. 480 00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:56,542 But right now, our friendship just feels like so much... work. 481 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,003 That's how you think of me? As work? 482 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,337 No, it's... 483 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,798 Maybe we're just growing apart. 484 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:07,052 Maybe we need a break.  [breathes deeply] 485 00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:23,110 [snores] 486 00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,028 [sighs] 487 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,238 ♪ Maybe we need ♪ 488 00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:28,073 ♪ Maybe we ♪ 489 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,826 ♪ Maybe we need a break ♪ 490 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,036 [groans] 491 00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:36,832 ♪ Maybe we need a Maybe we ♪ 492 00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:40,336 ♪ Maybe we need a break ♪ 493 00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:44,089 ♪ Maybe we need ♪ 494 00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:50,554 [sighs] 495 00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:51,972 ♪ Maybe ♪ 496 00:23:57,978 --> 00:23:59,480 ♪ We need a ♪ 497 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,778 [pop music plays] 498 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,069 Hey, it's me, Chef Dant-- Uh... 499 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:51,031 Just a guy! And I'm ready to have fun. [chuckles] 500 00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:53,033 Oh, who are you? Mmm! 501 00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:55,786 [in Italian accent] Oh, is that you? My Chef Dante? 502 00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:57,287 My sweet baby! 503 00:24:57,371 --> 00:24:59,456 Come here and give your grandma some kisses. 504 00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,250 Give me those kisses. I want them. 505 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,669 I gotta have them! I gotta have those kisses. 506 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:06,922 And I love those kisses! Give it, give it, give it, give it. 507 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:07,965 Kisses! 508 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:15,931 [barking, chittering] 509 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:19,143 [man] Boxer versus raptor, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na!