1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,718
[theme song plays]
2
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:13,388
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪
3
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:17,434
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪
4
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,062
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Bertie & Tuca and Tuca & Bertie ♪
5
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,730
♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪
6
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,858
-♪ Tuca ♪
-♪ And Bertie ♪
7
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,777
[both vocalize]
8
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,082
[theme song ends]
9
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,129
[dance music playing]
10
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,799
Hey!
[grunts]
11
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,093
-I'm getting the hang of this.
-[chimes]
12
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:56,557
Ooh! I can't believe I'm gonna get paid
to get horny folks off... virtually.
13
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,683
Watch out, Internet.
14
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:01,353
Tuca is online,
courtesy of Bertie's Wi-Fi password!
15
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,772
[chuckles]
16
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,192
All right, let's get into it.
17
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:12,281
Hi, I'm Connie, your friendly
virtual "Reali-Tease" online assistant.
18
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,950
It looks like you're engaging
in your first transaction.
19
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,910
Would you like some judgment-free help?
20
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,246
Shut up, computer.
Don't tell me how to doink!
21
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:23,584
I'm only doing this because I refuse
to live off my auntie anymore.
22
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,710
-[dance music plays]
-Hey.
23
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:28,005
-Hello, DirtyGoat. Wanna play?
-Heck, yeah.
24
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,256
[computer]
Jerk it!
25
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,300
All right! My first customer!
26
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,261
-[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
-[beeping]
27
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:38,015
-[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Grind! Grind!
-[DirtyGoat moaning]
28
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,099
[computer]
Jerk! Jerk!
29
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,059
Ow! My side.
30
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,520
[groans]
Ow!
31
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,523
That sounds pretty bad.
Maybe you should go see a doctor?
32
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,441
Good idea.
33
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,359
Paging Dr. Garlic!
34
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,653
[DirtyGoat] Hey, don't stop!
I'm not finished!
35
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,447
-[computer] Jerk.
-[DirtyGoat groans]
36
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,615
[computer]
Ultra climax!
37
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:55,907
-[DirtyGoat] Thank you!
-[beeps]
38
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,368
Yeah-- Ow.
[groaning]
39
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,539
[sighs]
40
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,042
Yeah!
41
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,462
[gasps]
42
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,922
That was beautiful.
43
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,800
I was late on the dismount. It's trash!
44
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,136
This has to be perfect for Yeast Week.
45
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,471
♪ Yeast Week! ♪
46
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,891
The most elite convergence
of baking's boldest and brightest!
47
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,768
We're introducing crünts to the world!
48
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,270
Aren't crunts already world-famous?
49
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:29,650
No, that was crunts,
a combo of crullers and Bundt cake.
50
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,693
These are crünts.
51
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,697
It's croissants and Bundt cake.
52
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,407
Oh, I get it.
53
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,743
-[sighs]
-Hey!
54
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,911
Caw!
55
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,705
Nice. A talking hole!
56
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,916
Now we don't have to use our phones.
[chuckles]
57
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,960
Way more useful than the other holes
I've put in this building.
58
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:53,423
Possible title ideas
for my inevitable memoir.
59
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,508
[clears throat]
60
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,676
Title one:
61
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:59,304
How to Rise, Rise, Ascend,
and Never Fall:
62
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The Dapper Dog Story.
63
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,309
Oh, dear. I'm standing on the ceiling.
64
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,144
[yelps]
65
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,606
I was just practicing
the quadruple cabriole de crünt.
66
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,984
Pastry Pete wants me to perform it
for a demo at Yeast Week!
67
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,236
In public!
68
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,821
In front of a huge audience!
69
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,614
Live and on an Internet stream!
70
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,282
Oh, yeah.
71
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,660
Yeast Week!
[groans]
72
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,704
Remember when we tried
to sneak in last year?
73
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,456
You thought it was
a completely different kind of event.
74
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,166
Ah! Yes, your felony.
75
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,086
Well, I need to permanently borrow
the following items:
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00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:34,297
garlic, garlic, dish soap, garlic,
and a bag for the garlic.
77
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:39,052
Tuca, are you making your own medicine
from that Dr. Garlic book again?
78
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,179
Ow-trageous!
79
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,682
That is an outrageous accusation.
80
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,808
Ow!
81
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,228
It's just a mild cramp. Check it out.
82
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,398
[gasps] That looks serious!
Maybe you should go see a doctor.
83
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,691
Hmm, let me see.
84
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,527
-[throbbing]
-[ominous music plays]
85
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,988
Yep. As usual, Bertie is right.
86
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,198
That is gross, and I am out of here.
87
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,701
[whistling tune]
88
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,288
[Speckle retches]
89
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,250
Oh, God!
[groans]
90
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,168
[retches]
91
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,420
Tuca, I'm worried about you.
92
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,465
-I know you're afraid of doctors...
-Unless they're made out of garlic, yes.
93
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:20,010
...but I can take you to see one today,
a real one.
94
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,136
Not necessary.
95
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,721
Please think about it?
96
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,598
I'm busy this whole weekend
with Yeast Week.
97
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,515
♪ Yeast Week! ♪
98
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,767
But I'm free this afternoon.
99
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,519
I don't need some government-approved,
cut-them-up, ship-them-out,
100
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,897
Western and most parts
of the East medicine!
101
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,523
[grunts]
102
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,108
See? All fixed.
103
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,073
Bertie! Bertie! The garlic made me better!
104
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,450
Just like it does with bread!
105
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:44,910
That's nice, Tuca.
106
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,078
-[Tuca groans]
-Ugh!
107
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,750
Bertie! Bertie!
How many teaspoons are in an ounce?
108
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,586
Ooh! Never mind,
I'll just drink the whole bottle.
109
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,004
[Tuca burps]
110
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,007
Come on!
111
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,760
Bertie, how many Band-Aids
in a doctor's dozen?
112
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,055
Bertie, should I squeeze lemon
into an open wound?
113
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,350
Bertie, do you have enough mustard
to fill a bath tub?
114
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:09,810
[Bertie growls]
115
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,147
-Bertie! Bertie!
-Eh! What?
116
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,273
I love you.
117
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,608
Aww!
118
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,111
What? How did that even--
[growls]
119
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,365
[burps]
I'm feeling great.
120
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,616
My medicine is working,
121
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,327
and now it's time
for some virtual jerking.
122
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,829
I should write greeting cards.
123
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:33,458
All right, all right, here I am.
Where the boys at?
124
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,795
-Uh...
-Are you shy, you cute little deviant?
125
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,797
No. Well, kind of.
126
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,840
I'm just lonely.
127
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,635
My first ever girlfriend dumped me,
and I'm just looking for some company.
128
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,428
Aw! You seem sweet.
129
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,013
Nice name.
130
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:51,101
It wasn't my first choice,
but Big_Hairy_Stallion68 was taken.
131
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,979
Great, how about we step
into the Seedy Motel
132
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,814
so I can handle your candle?
133
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,315
[groans]
134
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,901
Oh, are we cuddling?
Uh, that seems nice.
135
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,152
Ow!
136
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,238
Oh, you want me to be the little spoon?
137
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,031
Okay, don't mind if I do!
138
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:08,285
[chuckles] Don't put me in soup.
I belong in tea!
139
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,828
It's a spoon size joke.
140
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,330
-[exclaims]
-[Stallion] Hello? Are you okay?
141
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,958
-Bertie! Bertie!
-[Speckle] Tuca, is that you?
142
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,836
Speckle, come here.
She can hear us through the hole.
143
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,297
-What's going on?
-[grumbles] I'm so frustrated.
144
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,799
She's been at this all day. She's just...
145
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,802
so needy.
146
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,430
Damn, vent!
Why you gotta do me like this?
147
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,181
[Bertie]
Let me check up on her real quick.
148
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,310
Tuca, is everything okay?
149
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,645
Yeah. Just wanted to say...
150
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,731
[groans]
...good night.
151
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,692
[sighs]
Good night, Tuca.
152
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,530
[Stallion] Are you there?
Hello? Hello?
153
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,115
Help.
154
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,075
-[computer chimes]
-[Connie] Hello!
155
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,287
Do you need help
with your virtual sex transaction?
156
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,204
Hello?
157
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,960
Ooh!
158
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,715
♪ I finally made it to Yeast Week ♪
159
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,593
♪ I've got the whole world
By the tip of my beak ♪
160
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:10,347
♪ It's like a dream
But I've been awakened ♪
161
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,017
♪ At this venue exclusive for baking ♪
162
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,812
Bertie, please, only first-timers
sing by the fountain.
163
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,190
-♪ La la la la... ♪
-♪ What a treat, my week is so sweet ♪
164
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,360
♪ I'm gonna divorce my husband ♪
165
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,741
Uh, hello?
166
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,451
-Are you alive?
-[groaning] What?
167
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,079
Hi. I'm Big_Hairy_Stallion69.
168
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,705
Remember? I was the little spoon.
169
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,582
-You asked me for help.
-I did?
170
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,419
Then you yelled your address
and a very complicated pizza order.
171
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,130
-You actually came here to help me?
-Yep.
172
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,132
It was only a seven-hour drive.
173
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,468
Hour one, I was like, "This feels right."
174
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,303
Hour two, I wondered, "Is this weird?"
175
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,223
Hour three, I was all,
"Yep, this is definitely weird."
176
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,267
Hour four, I thought,
"But maybe it's nice for a stranger
177
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:59,104
to display a kind gesture
in this cruel, cold world."
178
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,064
Hour five, I stopped for gas
and had a snack.
179
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:05,360
And now, here I am,
seven hours later, still unsure.
180
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:08,279
It's just nice to know
someone out there cares about me.
181
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,407
[groans]
182
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,076
We should probably go
to the hospital, right?
183
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,245
[sighs]
184
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,998
[pop music plays]
185
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,876
Welcome to Yeast Week's nerve center!
186
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:26,131
Wow!
The world's most famous chefs are here!
187
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,841
That's Chef Steele Laurent,
188
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,427
the first pastry chef
to put salt on a cookie!
189
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,344
[crowd applauds]
190
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,637
That's Chef Winter Garcia,
191
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:35,181
the first chef to stuff a pickle
into a biscuit!
192
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,686
If you look closely, you can catch
some sexual overtones in her work.
193
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,396
-[suction noise]
-[crowd applauds]
194
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,857
And that's Chef Dante Ferrari!
195
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,360
He's the first chef to steal
all his recipes from his grandma.
196
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,029
And that's his grandma!
197
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,740
[in Italian accent] Dante, come and give
your grandma some kisses.
198
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,451
Come on, Dante.
I want those kisses.
199
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,161
Give it, give it! Kisses!
200
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:59,831
[chuckles] Yes, I know all these people,
but I love a good recap.
201
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:03,001
[gasps]
Is that what I think it is?
202
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:08,256
Oh, Bertie, how I love seeing my world
through your sweet, innocent eyes!
203
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,842
[gasps]
The grand hall.
204
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,595
This place is legendary
for not allowing flash photography.
205
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,556
Oh! I thought the flash was off!
I thought the flash was off!
206
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,350
Ladies and gentle-birds
and plants, humans,
207
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,811
and sometimes
inanimate objects that talk...
208
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,063
What a weird world!
209
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,982
I give you the donut dive!
210
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,824
-[crowd cheers]
-[howls]
211
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,410
[pop music playing]
212
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,829
And ta-da! Here you go!
213
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:44,709
This is where we shall introduce
the baking world to my new crünt.
214
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,461
Whoa.
215
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,923
All you have to do, Bertie,
is better than that.
216
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,217
[crowd cheers]
217
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,887
[chuckles uncomfortably]
218
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,140
[screams]
219
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,060
Tuca? Hello?
220
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:05,188
Uh, Bertie asked me
to check up on you, so--
221
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,397
Hey, that's my mug.
222
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,317
And that's my laptop.
223
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,945
-Hmm.
-[electronic chirping]
224
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,323
Ooh, fun! Looks like some kind
of open-world video game.
225
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,827
[man over computer]
Oh, come suck me off, you nasty bird!
226
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,703
[laughs]
Must be some kind of villain.
227
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,748
-[computer] Jerk!
-This must be how I punch?
228
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,708
-[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
-[man groans]
229
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,086
[laughs] Yeah, that's right, computer.
He is a jerk!
230
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,421
-[man] Oh, yeah. Oh, God.
-Take that and that!
231
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,841
-[computer] Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
-[grunting]
232
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,717
-[groans]
-[computer] JO.
233
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,010
[laughs]
Yes!
234
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,347
Huh.
235
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,143
[mouse clicks]
236
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,479
Excuse me,
while I wait for my terrified friend,
237
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:50,316
do you have any Ethernet cables
I could use to start a LAN party?
238
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,360
Just a second, sir.
239
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,445
Let me see what I can find.
240
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:02,704
[buzzing]
241
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,373
-[sighs]
-[door opens]
242
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,375
Hello, I'm Dr. Sherman.
I'm here to examine--
243
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,460
Are you gonna cut me up
and sew my booty hole
244
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,045
to someone else's booty hole?
245
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,630
Tell me! Tell me, woman!
246
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,091
[sobs]
Caawaaa!
247
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,552
-Oh, you're nervous.
-[machine chimes]
248
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,597
Hi, I'm Ultra-Sam,
the ultrasound machine.
249
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,307
I've been programmed to comfort you.
250
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,268
We tried to teach doctors empathy,
but it didn't take.
251
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,645
Don't worry.
Everything's going to be okay.
252
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,523
That's what Bertie would have said.
She's programmed to comfort me.
253
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,858
Or at least she was.
254
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,277
Now all she talks about is Irish butter.
255
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,405
"The cultured cream
enhances the flavor notes, Tuca."
256
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,992
Good news! The doctor is almost done
looking inside you.
257
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,452
Nothing to worry about.
258
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,829
She's just going to confer
with some colleagues and check--
259
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,498
Okay, let's cut the shit.
I need you to plug in my wife.
260
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:48,750
She's right over there.
261
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,086
-She's a lamp?
-She's so much more!
262
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,547
You're not seeing her
in the best... light.
263
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,760
-Oh, how she would have laughed at that.
-Aw!
264
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,470
Cherish those you love, Tuca.
265
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,431
You never know when they may become
disconnected from your life.
266
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,766
Please, plug her in before--
267
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,059
-[door opens]
-They're back.
268
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,102
Fuck! Fuck! Be cool! Be cool!
269
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:11,856
[clears throat] So, if that weird bulge
turns out to be cancer,
270
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,526
hey, sometimes life gives you cancer
and you make can-sirloin steak--
271
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,404
Ugh. Okay, we need to get some X-rays.
272
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,616
Are you gonna be a big girl,
or do you need the robot?
273
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,745
[crowd cheers]
274
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:30,083
You're all familiar with
my Tasty Num Nums Award-winning invention,
275
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:34,295
a delicate marriage between crullers
and Bundt cake, the crunt.
276
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,965
Today, I bring you something new:
277
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,341
the crünt.
278
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,259
[crowd gasps]
279
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,969
Croissants, Bundt cakes,
280
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,429
historically, they've been
natural enemies.
281
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,890
Some have asked, why bring them together?
282
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,226
I ask, why not?
283
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,144
Because it's dangerous.
284
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,648
I have perfected this process,
and in the interest of science,
285
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,818
will be generously sharing
my methodology with you all!
286
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:01,739
Here to perform it, my lovely assistant
Roberta Songthrush!
287
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,075
[dramatic music plays]
288
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,288
Hi.
289
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,291
But first,
to display my lovely ingredients,
290
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,501
my even lovelier drones!
291
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,169
[crowd cheers and applauds]
292
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:21,509
Oh.
293
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,303
[Pete]
The perfect egg is crucial,
294
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,848
for the yolk and white
must be yin and yang,
295
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,891
in rhapsodic symmetry with...
296
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,436
[Bertie] Okay, Bertie, you're not nervous.
297
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,478
You're not nervous!
298
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,232
Eh! Hands, why must you betray me?
299
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,568
After all the times I lotioned you!
300
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,652
[gasps]
301
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,530
Many have tried and failed
the following technique.
302
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,365
I went to all their funerals.
303
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,701
Closed caskets. Every one.
304
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,662
The quadruple cabriole de crünt!
305
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,498
[breathes deeply]
306
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,091
[pants]
307
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,719
-[hip-hop music plays]
-[crowd cheers]
308
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,387
[screams]
309
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:16,606
Okay, let me put this
as sensitively as I can.
310
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,982
You have an egg up in your cooch,
311
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,902
and you'd be a moron not to cut
that shit out of your lady pipes.
312
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:24,030
Hmm. Okay. Thank you so much
for the information.
313
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,324
I will be opting out of surgery.
314
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,284
-Ow!
-Listen, lady,
315
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,745
it's twisted up in your ovaries real good.
316
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,457
And if you don't remove it,
it will rupture, and you will die.
317
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,918
But don't worry.
We've got the best doctors.
318
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,217
[Tallulah] That's just like your mama
not to wear a seat belt.
319
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,803
[Tuca] Auntie, is my mom
gonna be okay?
320
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,763
[Tallulah]
Don't you worry, sweetie.
321
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,932
They got the best doctors.
322
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,484
[chuckles]
To the crünt!
323
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,153
May it become the newest food fad
that everyone loves
324
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,030
to the point
that people begin to resent it
325
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:09,242
as it comes to symbolize
the frivolity of the idle rich!
326
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,827
-Cheers.
-[giggles]
327
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,078
Cheers.
328
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,289
Ooh! What a rush!
329
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:18,668
I guess now I'll go back to the hotel
and fill a bucket with ice.
330
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,254
I was thinking
of inviting a certain someone
331
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,257
to a certain exclusive
dinner gathering for chefs.
332
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,218
[gasps] The Bread Bowl!
333
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,428
I've heard of that!
334
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,430
-[chatter]
-Welcome! Your seat is waiting!
335
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,018
[Bertie] The world's baking elite
dine on the finest foods,
336
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,896
talk pastry, complain about lesser bakers,
337
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,691
and then, when the last drop
of wine is drunk...
338
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,694
-they eat the table!
-[laughs] Yes!
339
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,572
-Whoo!
-A fine recap of things I already know.
340
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,031
Who are you going to invite?
341
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,993
-You dear, delicate, little fool.
-[door opens]
342
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,077
It's you.
343
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:56,539
Ah! Holy fucking shit,
the freaking Bread Bowl?
344
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,458
Are you shitting serious?
345
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,960
Yes, I am shitting serious.
346
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,421
[squeals]
347
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,549
[phone buzzes and whistles]
348
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,968
Well, are you coming?
349
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,640
-Uh, just a minute.
-Ugh.
350
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:18,436
Speckle, I did so well at the presentation
and everyone said--
351
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,396
Bertie, Tuca is in the hospital.
352
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,690
Wait, what happened?
Are you with her?
353
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,400
No. Uh, not exactly.
354
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,651
Then how did you find out?
355
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,904
Uh...
356
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:33,201
[Speckle mimicking Tuca]Hey, boys!
Look at me shake my thing!
357
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:36,787
Tuca? Are you still in the hospital?
'Cause I'm in the waiting room.
358
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:37,705
[Speckle]
What?
359
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,457
Uh...
360
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,584
-Word of mouth?
-[Bertie] Oh, my God!
361
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,710
Is she okay?
362
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,505
I dunno. She's about to go into surgery.
You need to come right away.
363
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,756
[beeps]
364
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,175
[sighs]
365
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,805
Pastry Pete, thank you so much,
but I have a kind of family emergency.
366
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:55,723
I have to go.
367
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:59,060
Well, this is a one-time ticket,
but do what you must.
368
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,478
You're an adult bird woman.
369
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:04,649
I can't force you to make
the right decision for your career.
370
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,110
[all laugh]
371
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:20,164
♪ I feel like a shrimp being shucked ♪
372
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,251
♪ Feels like I ate a monster truck ♪
373
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,796
♪ Oh, piece by piece
And now I'm fucked ♪
374
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,593
♪ I'm driving through the poison muck ♪
375
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,596
♪ Inside myself and getting stuck ♪
376
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,016
♪ I'm tearing it up
I'm shit outta luck ♪
377
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:46,023
♪ I can't stand this loss of control ♪
378
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,193
♪ I feel so scared and vulnerable ♪
379
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:54,365
♪ It hurts too much to face this fear now
Without a friend ♪
380
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,411
♪ Just wait, don't start yet ♪
381
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,580
♪ I'm not ready ♪
382
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,126
♪ Is this the end? ♪
383
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,461
[heart monitor beeping]
384
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,511
[Stallion] But we've been dating
since high school.
385
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,306
-I just wish I knew what I did wrong.
-Mm-hmm.
386
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:20,975
Normally, I'd never say this
about a woman,
387
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:25,646
but your ex-girlfriend
sounds like a big meanie.
388
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:29,233
Maybe you didn't break up
so much as grow up.
389
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,484
Whoa!
390
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:33,613
[pants]
I got here as fast as I could.
391
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,281
What's going on? Can I see her?
392
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,451
She's still in surgery.
The doctors say all we can do is wait.
393
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,873
[siren wails]
394
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,251
[Bertie] I told her to stop drinking.
I told her it was too much.
395
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,961
[EMT] We have to pump her stomach.
396
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,464
-[Bertie] What can I do?
-[EMT] All you can do is wait.
397
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,885
[siren wails]
398
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,474
[cries]
399
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,310
[heart monitor beeping]
400
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:19,909
-[door opens]
-Tuca, I'm so glad you're okay.
401
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,995
What? I'm always okay.
402
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:26,207
I's fine. I's Tuca.
403
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,334
[sighs]
404
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,008
I'll miss you, Speckle.
405
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,719
I'll miss you, too, Big_Hairy_Stallion69.
406
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,471
You can call me Joel.
407
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:42,973
No.
408
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,851
[whispers]
I never will.
409
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:46,769
[EMT grunts]
410
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,896
[Ultra-Sam] I love you, baby.
Let's get out of here!
411
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,987
-Here you go. Come on. You're all right.
-[groans]
412
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,198
[grunts]
413
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,576
[snores]
414
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:05,996
[Bertie groans]
415
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:08,958
[sighs]
416
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,001
[grunts]
417
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,295
[electricity zaps]
418
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:17,883
Ew.
419
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,969
Bertie, are you cleaning up?
420
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,179
Yeah, just a bit.
421
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,598
-You don't need to do that.
-Mm, it's okay.
422
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,142
If I don't do it, who will?
423
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,186
Are you mad at me?
424
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,981
No, it's just... look at this place.
425
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,400
Is this how you live without me?
426
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:38,487
Oh, I see what this is about.
You don't think I can take care of myself.
427
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,906
-What?
-I know you think I'm needy.
428
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:44,660
That's right!
I heard it all through the talking vents!
429
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,288
[sighs] Tuca,
what do you want me to say?
430
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,290
You are needy.
You always need me.
431
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,876
You always get to be
the fun, carefree party-animal.
432
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,627
But I have to be the worry-wart.
433
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,504
But when you're not around, guess what.
434
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,548
I am fun! I am brave!
435
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:01,260
-What are you even talking about?
-I performed the crünt demo perfectly.
436
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,553
Everyone loved me.
437
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,764
Pastry Pete invited me
to an exclusive dinner,
438
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,057
and he winked at me!
439
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:10,060
Are you listening to yourself?
Bertie, you have a boyfriend!
440
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,480
-[grumbles]
-What are you even trying to do?
441
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:13,814
Who even are you?
442
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,318
Why does Pastry Pete's new pastry
have the same name as the old one?
443
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,236
-Why didn't he call it the boint?
-[scoffs]
444
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,406
I didn't ask you to be here.
I can take care of myself!
445
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,909
I had a weird acquaintance
take me to the hospital.
446
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:27,787
I asked to take you
to the hospital several times.
447
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,830
Even back in college,
you didn't listen to me
448
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,624
and ended up in the emergency room!
449
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,876
That was different.
I don't even drink anymore.
450
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,837
[sighs] Tuca, I know
you just went through surgery,
451
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,422
so I'm gonna let you rest.
452
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,804
But let me just say one more thing.
453
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,307
Let's not forget the time
your cut-off jorts
454
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:50,392
totally ruined my summer vacation!
455
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:53,103
So, we're bringing that up?
Because I can bring up things, too.
456
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,314
Like when you got us kicked out
of Anita's wedding
457
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:57,775
because you insisted the buffet
was all-you-can-eat!
458
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,360
Tuca, that was you!
459
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,028
Oh, yeah, it was.
460
00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:04,782
And this is my ChapStick!
I bought this ChapStick!
461
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,492
Who even buys ChapStick?
462
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:09,829
Where do you think ChapStick comes from?
It doesn't just magically appear!
463
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,330
You're just not looking hard enough!
464
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,624
Spencer didn't even deserve you.
465
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,502
He was just a stupid frat boy pelican.
466
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,045
Thank you for saying that.
467
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,297
And you'll never be happy
in a relationship
468
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,466
because no one
is ever good enough for you!
469
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,218
Why would you say that?
470
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:27,179
Why do you think you're better than me?
I helped with your promotion!
471
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:31,183
You can't even leave the house without me
because you're such a little wuss!
472
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,894
-I always drop everything to help you!
-[scoffs]
473
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:37,022
I pray for the day you can't
just drop everything to help me
474
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:39,358
because you actually have a job!
475
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,902
[both sob]
476
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,196
Look how mean you made me be!
477
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,657
[sighs]
What now?
478
00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:49,702
I don't know. This is all so hard.
479
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,079
Things used to be so much fun.
480
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:56,542
But right now, our friendship
just feels like so much... work.
481
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,003
That's how you think of me? As work?
482
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,337
No, it's...
483
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,798
Maybe we're just growing apart.
484
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:07,052
Maybe we need a break.
[breathes deeply]
485
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:23,110
[snores]
486
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,028
[sighs]
487
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,238
♪ Maybe we need ♪
488
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:28,073
♪ Maybe we ♪
489
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,826
♪ Maybe we need a break ♪
490
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,036
[groans]
491
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:36,832
♪ Maybe we need a
Maybe we ♪
492
00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:40,336
♪ Maybe we need a break ♪
493
00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:44,089
♪ Maybe we need ♪
494
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:50,554
[sighs]
495
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:51,972
♪ Maybe ♪
496
00:23:57,978 --> 00:23:59,480
♪ We need a ♪
497
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,778
[pop music plays]
498
00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,069
Hey, it's me, Chef Dant-- Uh...
499
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:51,031
Just a guy!
And I'm ready to have fun. [chuckles]
500
00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:53,033
Oh, who are you? Mmm!
501
00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:55,786
[in Italian accent] Oh, is that you?
My Chef Dante?
502
00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:57,287
My sweet baby!
503
00:24:57,371 --> 00:24:59,456
Come here and give your grandma
some kisses.
504
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,250
Give me those kisses.
I want them.
505
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,669
I gotta have them!
I gotta have those kisses.
506
00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:06,922
And I love those kisses!
Give it, give it, give it, give it.
507
00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:07,965
Kisses!
508
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:15,931
[barking, chittering]
509
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:19,143
[man] Boxer versus raptor,
na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na!