1
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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

2
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‎“敬啟者…”

3
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‎-什麼？
‎-太正式了

4
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‎（致老闆何藍，主題：身體欠安）

5
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‎“混得如何？何藍老大”

6
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‎太潮語了

7
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‎親愛的柏蒂，怎麼回事？

8
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‎“大人，我以謙卑之心承認

9
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‎今日清晨我身體微恙…”

10
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‎太舞文弄墨了

11
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‎我請病假時，為何總寫出這種東西？

12
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‎如果我正在嘔吐，會怎麼寫呢？

13
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‎-天啊，妳生病了？
‎-沒有

14
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‎對，我在發抖

15
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‎沒錯，本季流感疫苗的有效率
‎只有65%

16
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‎-確實麻煩
‎-宇宙沒有邊際

17
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‎對…

18
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‎今天我得做一個很重要的簡報

19
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‎那才是重點

20
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‎我知道妳獲得升遷之後

21
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‎面臨很大的壓力

22
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‎也許妳只是有恐慌發作的前兆

23
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‎-會為了小事而感到焦躁
‎-我才沒有那樣

24
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‎每個月都會發生幾次

25
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‎萬一有條蛇爬我的嘴裡並且產卵

26
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‎然後蛇寶寶在會議中
‎從我嘴裡爬出來怎麼辦？

27
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‎-那就太丟臉了
‎-有可能發生那種事嗎？

28
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‎遲早會發生

29
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‎今天我在工作上也會面臨很大的壓力

30
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‎有時我們該做的就只是去上班

31
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‎我知道妳需要什麼了

32
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‎妳需要焦慮吸塵器

33
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‎（虛構牌焦慮吸塵器SP9附配件）

34
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‎我先把吸塵器插電

35
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‎這樣吧
‎“嗨，何藍，我今天無法去上班

36
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‎替我把咖啡保溫”

37
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‎天啊，太糟糕了

38
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‎焦慮吸塵器正吸走妳所有的焦慮

39
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‎現在開啟深層清潔功能，根除恐慌

40
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‎該死，我是說別擔心

41
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‎真正吸塵器可以善後

42
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‎這樣讓我覺得更焦慮

43
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‎-圖卡
‎-圖卡

44
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‎安靜，你們得飛得夠高
‎才能在麻雀法官頭上動土

45
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‎我花了一小時梳妝打扮
‎不是為了來這裡被藐視

46
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‎說得好，教訓他們，麻雀法官

47
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‎嗨，我沒有付有線電視帳單
‎我認識的人瑞恩要上《鳥法庭》

48
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‎妳那個被車撞到的朋友？

49
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‎對，但我們剛剛發現是他先猛打車子

50
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‎請注意，鳥會生鳥蛋，不是說鳥話

51
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‎（粉碎小額索賠）

52
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‎你們找到我昨晚做的西點

53
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‎柏蒂，我發誓
‎妳的烘焙功力越來越好了

54
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‎對，這些真的很好吃

55
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‎沒什麼

56
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‎我只是隨便做做而已，卻很完美

57
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‎我去換衣服，別在我背後討論我

58
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‎我們從未做那種事

59
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‎-妳怎麼不去準備上班？
‎-其實我人不太舒服

60
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‎我很清楚妳的毛病，妳正經歷

61
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‎“我不能出門
‎因為所有一切都非常恐怖

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‎我的身體把我的頭腦當人質”的日子

63
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‎或者我稱之為“柏蒂病例”

64
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‎妳最好能忍著點，然後…

65
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‎去上班，我知道

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‎不對，別管工作
‎和妳的好友圖卡一起打發時間

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‎工作很煩，簡報聽起來實在很無趣

68
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‎-妳怎麼知道…
‎-我聽見了

69
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‎妳在房間說的話

70
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‎這裡的牆超級薄

71
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‎糟糕，我打出蜜蜂洞了

72
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‎我不想出門

73
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‎今天待在家裡對我是最好的

74
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‎聽著，妳得陪我去店裡

75
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‎我有…

76
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‎性病蟲

77
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‎-最好是
‎-真的，妳看看

78
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‎性病蟲…

79
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‎-什麼？
‎-那些是褲子蟋蟀，柏蒂

80
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‎我巢穴裡的害蟲，我褲裙裡的蝨子

81
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‎-請住嘴
‎-請幫忙

82
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‎妳為何不能自己去買藥膏之類的？

83
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‎妳也知道我的德性
‎我需要妳來協助我專心完成目標

84
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‎頂多十分鐘就好

85
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‎圖卡的十分鐘？還是真正的十分鐘？

86
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‎真正的十分鐘，我保證

87
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‎-圖卡的保證？
‎-妳得陪我去

88
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‎若我自己去買藥
‎天知道我會買回什麼東西

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‎八成更多性病蟲

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‎好吧，妳知道我無法拒絕妳的要求

91
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‎我先寫完給我老闆的電子郵件，嘿

92
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‎我病了，咳…寄出

93
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‎-圖卡
‎-沒時間爭吵了

94
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‎寄出去了，走吧

95
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‎（外出褲子、家居褲子）

96
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‎不對…就是這個

97
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‎等一下，解釋這雙鞋

98
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‎這雙鞋讓我覺得安心

99
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‎通常我會說：“妳似乎希望
‎有人把妳的腳當點心吃”

100
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‎但妳已經很焦慮，我就不說了

101
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‎謝謝

102
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‎-青少女
‎-讓開，嫩枝們

103
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‎我們喜歡妳的鞋子

104
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‎對，妳看起來像個嬰兒，真酷

105
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‎那是諷刺嗎？

106
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‎不是，我們真的很喜歡

107
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‎對，好可愛

108
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‎謝謝

109
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‎妳們說的話是奉承

110
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‎但說話的方式聽起來很刻薄，所以…

111
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‎她們是青少女，柏蒂
‎說的話全都是謊言

112
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‎-天啊，我們很刻薄嗎？
‎-不可能

113
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‎為何我覺得所有人都盯著我看？

114
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‎最好別讓我在這裡遇見同事

115
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‎妳怎麼不辭職？烘焙才是妳的最愛

116
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‎那個西點男不是給妳電話了嗎？

117
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‎是給了，但烘焙是興趣
‎而且我有一份好工作

118
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‎況且，我才剛升遷

119
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:30,515
‎在我們這個年紀從事新職業相當困難

120
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‎-我每週都從事新職業
‎-我沒有富有姑媽可以依靠

121
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‎依靠？

122
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‎我喜歡跳入那一池不是我賺來的錢裡

123
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‎-嘿，熱褲女孩，很棒的搔癢
‎-滾啊，布魯斯

124
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‎妳是說我今天該去打第三次手槍？
‎我不介意

125
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‎是布魯斯嗎？是他把性病蟲傳給妳？

126
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,579
‎-沒關係…
‎-不是

127
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‎妳知道我已經有六個月沒辦事了

128
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,626
‎妳知道性病蟲的潛伏期

129
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,295
‎是6個月11天又8小時吧？

130
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,297
‎-妳怎麼知道的？
‎-有大型廣告牌寫著

131
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,845
‎那樣的話
‎任何人都可能把性病蟲傳染給我

132
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:14,267
‎6個月沒有上床前的11天又8小時
‎非常淫亂

133
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,060
‎我完全縱慾

134
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:19,647
‎-有一次…
‎-不好了，是我的老闆

135
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,775
‎他知道我沒有生病
‎他知道妳有性病蟲

136
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,278
‎-喂？
‎-嗨，柏蒂

137
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,030
‎剛收到妳極簡短的電子郵件
‎想問候妳一下

138
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‎謝謝

139
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‎很糟糕的…蟲

140
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:39,417
‎很抱歉錯過了重要的簡報
‎別在意我，請繼續完成

141
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,961
‎我們想都不敢想
‎妳現在是團隊領導人

142
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,172
‎沒有人能夠接管妳的職責

143
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,632
‎妳不在，所有工作程序都癱瘓

144
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,342
‎妳好，來參加我們下回的會議

145
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,595
‎-妳說什麼？
‎-那是電視的聲音

146
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:54,056
‎描述一隻鳥翹班的節目

147
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,433
‎天啊，我為何這麼說？

148
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,018
‎“女人佔位”

149
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,353
‎-“女人佔據座位”
‎-女人佔位

150
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,898
‎取得應有的座位空間
‎拿回座位所有權

151
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,357
‎妳要我安靜？

152
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,777
‎不是，我…是要電視安靜

153
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,114
‎妳有那種聲控平板電視？真棒

154
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,910
‎總之，明天進行簡報反而更好

155
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,454
‎其他分公司的部門負責人會來參訪

156
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:19,874
‎更不用說公司的攝影師
‎幾位國外的投資人

157
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:24,045
‎以及一群陷入困境的青少年
‎都會仔細聆聽妳說的每個字

158
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,632
‎趕快好起來，明天見

159
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,676
‎我沒這個問題，我很喜歡佔據座位

160
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,762
‎繼續佔據座位，佔位女孩

161
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:36,390
‎我沒想到我的新工作
‎需要進行這麼多公開演講

162
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,267
‎我們的女人佔位會議可以提供協助

163
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,895
‎我們也教導女人捍衛自己的立場
‎勇敢說不

164
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,813
‎-不用了，謝謝
‎-拿張傳單吧

165
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,232
‎-可以不拿嗎？
‎-拿去吧

166
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,067
‎好吧，如妳所願

167
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,402
‎那是測驗，妳不及格

168
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,951
‎鳥食超市顧客請注意
‎我們的甜瓜沒有壞掉

169
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,371
‎有機水果本來就具有強烈的生物風味

170
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,998
‎我們的臭甜瓜沒有問題
‎妳才是問題所在

171
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,210
‎-妳說我們十分鐘就會完成
‎-走到這裡的時間不算

172
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,380
‎要從我們走進店裡後開始計時
‎這還用說嗎？

173
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:11,926
‎今天這裡為何這麼多人？

174
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,762
‎放輕鬆，妳沒問題的

175
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,055
‎拿去，聞一下

176
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:17,848
‎（有香味，無香味）

177
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,725
‎我喜歡這種蠟燭

178
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,311
‎標籤總是印上趣味的怪異小常識

179
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,898
‎快看，蜜蜂適應了吃西點來生存

180
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,692
‎謝了，蠟燭

181
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:28,818
‎確實很怪異

182
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,778
‎等一下，那些都是妳要用的藥？

183
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,697
‎圖卡，妳應該先看看使用說明

184
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,575
‎妳可能會有非常不好的反應

185
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:39,287
‎才不會
‎那只是妳庸人自擾的腦袋在自尋煩惱

186
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,790
‎（蛇、工作、機器人、喙癌
‎疣、氣候變化、陰蝨）

187
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,626
‎我馬上回來，妳待在這裡

188
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,255
‎好，別去太久，我真的得儘快回家

189
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,172
‎拿著這個

190
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,426
‎沒事了

191
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:57,346
‎我很好，我只是站在這裡學習小知識

192
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,347
‎蠟燭小知識

193
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,561
‎天啊，寶貝
‎妳真的對這項活動很投入

194
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,439
‎-妳有什麼感受？
‎-閉嘴，爸爸

195
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,274
‎等我們回家後

196
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:11,652
‎有人會在有益健康溝通地圖上
‎得到一張貼紙

197
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,824
‎幾乎三萬了

198
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,660
‎這些人讓我感到不自在

199
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,455
‎榨汁和攪拌完全不同

200
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,165
‎水果冰沙就是果汁

201
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,791
‎不好意思，我可以…

202
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,794
‎我們應該都能同意果汁不是食物

203
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,296
‎去你的

204
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,131
‎嘿

205
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,884
‎-水果冰沙
‎-榨汁

206
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:38,554
‎-醫生？
‎-圖卡怎麼這麼久？

207
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,764
‎（陰部、胯下藥膏）

208
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,098
‎（奧基夫陰部軟膏）

209
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,184
‎“12小時內生效”

210
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:44,518
‎（請勿與其他藥物混合）

211
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,354
‎超強效，所以…

212
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,314
‎（請混合）

213
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:51,067
‎我將它們混合使用
‎就會有兩倍的藥效

214
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,693
‎藥物數學

215
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,821
‎-果汁
‎-水果冰沙

216
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,323
‎-果汁
‎-水果冰沙

217
00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,492
‎（斯貝克，通電話）

218
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,661
‎（鮑爾與鮑爾建築）

219
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:05,414
‎我不確定
‎那個窗戶的結構看起來並不健全

220
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,170
‎斯貝克，你又做到了

221
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,506
‎你是建築界的壞男孩

222
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,677
‎麥斯威爾
‎你不再是建築界的壞男孩了

223
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:36,779
‎我情緒不穩，很多原因所造成

224
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:41,534
‎我失去控制，這是恐慌的季節

225
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:46,205
‎我感受到我失控的恐懼
‎讓我再也無法待在這裡

226
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:50,751
‎此時此刻我情緒不穩

227
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,837
‎-她情緒不穩
‎-她情緒不穩

228
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,672
‎-毫無理由
‎-毫無理由

229
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,757
‎-我失去控制
‎-她失去控制

230
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,427
‎-很多原因所造成
‎-什麼原因所造成？

231
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,471
‎要提的恐懼有太多

232
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,432
‎蛇、地震、血、颶風

233
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,559
‎我即將發瘋，我情緒不穩

234
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,352
‎-我控制不了
‎-她控制不了

235
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,062
‎所以我控制不了

236
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:13,357
‎此時此刻

237
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:18,154
‎看看這些該死的混蛋取笑我的痛苦

238
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:22,158
‎女士，妳完全發瘋並不是我們的錯

239
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,326
‎聽起來像是一般的焦慮

240
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,370
‎試試藥物或者心理諮商

241
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,330
‎瑜伽和冥想是關鍵所在

242
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,543
‎心理健康跟刷牙一樣重要

243
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,338
‎也許是這個世界一團混亂

244
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:40,468
‎我並沒有任何毛病

245
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,761
‎並非如此

246
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,638
‎我們是超級性感的性病蟲

247
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,599
‎超級性感的性病蟲

248
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,642
‎她失去控制，我們不在乎

249
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,061
‎我們是超級性感的性病蟲

250
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:58,360
‎斯貝克不接電話，圖卡不在
‎我獨自一人

251
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,866
‎希望一切都很好，我把手機放在車裡

252
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,077
‎我應該去拿手機
‎但我很懶，而且路途遙遠

253
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,662
‎她的腦袋有問題

254
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,040
‎她應該待在床上或吃藥

255
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,459
‎我寧願去死

256
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:20,090
‎也不願意在這裡情緒不穩

257
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,641
‎該死，我應該拿火柴的

258
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:31,101
‎我回來了，我錯過什麼了嗎？

259
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,229
‎真不錯的超市堡壘

260
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,106
‎我嚇壞了，我們來這裡一輩子了

261
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,360
‎-一切都好嗎？
‎-從宏觀的角度來看，一切都好

262
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,445
‎性病蟲…

263
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,489
‎從微觀的角度來看

264
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:46,158
‎性病蟲都變大了，這不是我的錯

265
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,244
‎（鳥食超市，甜瓜）

266
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:51,330
‎快停，我說過騎在蟲背是什麼行為？

267
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,165
‎不恰當的行為

268
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,460
‎這是很好的有氧運動

269
00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,713
‎先生，這是快速通道

270
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,132
‎我沒有受過處理這麼多項物品的訓練

271
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,884
‎（緊急按鈕，性病蟲）

272
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:07,680
‎我的天…

273
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,391
‎什麼？怎麼了？對了

274
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,520
‎也許巨型性病蟲的出現是我的錯

275
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:19,024
‎我說過別混合那些藥膏
‎我就知道會發生這種事

276
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,820
‎柏蒂，看看那些性病蟲
‎那些蟲只是想玩得開心

277
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,573
‎那也是我希望妳在休假時能做的事

278
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,449
‎今天不是我的休假

279
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,953
‎懂嗎？我請病假
‎是因為我知道自己今天處理不了事情

280
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,998
‎現在辦公室裡八成亂成一團
‎而且大家都恨我

281
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:37,001
‎我們必須把柏蒂的簡報延後

282
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,752
‎我們來看電影吧

283
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:42,131
‎-太好了，電影日
‎-柏蒂萬歲

284
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:47,511
‎我知道他們第一眼看起來很可怕
‎但妳還沒有去認識他們

285
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,723
‎他們真的很可愛
‎那是格雷格，他有點棘手

286
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,933
‎那是艾西娜，她很聰明

287
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,602
‎看她戴眼鏡就知道了

288
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,478
‎李奧納多，小心點

289
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,564
‎（屁眼）

290
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,441
‎這看起來不妙

291
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,402
‎性病蟲…

292
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,906
‎不乖的性病蟲，真不乖

293
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,034
‎真是夠了

294
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:14,747
‎我在這裡已經遠遠超過十分鐘

295
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,082
‎我非常焦慮，我只想死

296
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,126
‎這些甜瓜臭死了

297
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,503
‎我要回家

298
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,963
‎柏蒂，等等我

299
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:24,924
‎都不准動

300
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,885
‎性病蟲控制中心，誰都不准離開

301
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,386
‎夠了

302
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,681
‎夠了

303
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,310
‎妳很幸運，那只是優格

304
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:44,985
‎大家好

305
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,779
‎我是控制中心的黑班妮布萊克

306
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,239
‎這是我的搭檔
‎也是我的成年女兒，蘇菲

307
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,075
‎她最近被商學院退學

308
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:52,993
‎所以她現在替我工作

309
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,371
‎媽，妳只需要介紹我是蘇菲就好了

310
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,373
‎我們只是要執行例行消滅程序

311
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,500
‎然後就讓各位好市民離開

312
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:03,420
‎消滅程序？妳不能殺了他們
‎連審判程序都沒有

313
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,507
‎審判？這是標準程序

314
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,134
‎殺害只想玩樂的無辜生物

315
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,344
‎可不是標準程序

316
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:13,263
‎我要求進行審判，柏蒂會是我的律師

317
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:16,100
‎-什麼？
‎-女士，這些是妳的性病蟲？

318
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,144
‎沒錯，我們不會受妳侮辱

319
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,062
‎（零號病患）

320
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,897
‎可惡，你們要我感到羞恥

321
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,900
‎-圖卡，我不是…
‎-你們這些混蛋想成為陪審團嗎？

322
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,904
‎好吧，雖然這是相當不尋常的程序

323
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,031
‎我會容許，因為此時

324
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,201
‎回性病蟲控制中心總部
‎交通會擁擠得令人想死

325
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,577
‎我實在受不了

326
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:36,662
‎太好了

327
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,458
‎（洗手間，美食廣場）

328
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,585
‎我不是律師

329
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,671
‎老實說
‎我不知道妳的工作到底是什麼

330
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,215
‎但我知道妳是唯一能幫助我的人

331
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:50,884
‎很簡單，就照著麻雀法官的樣子做

332
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,594
‎秩序…木槌…

333
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,139
‎懺悔…有罪、無罪等等

334
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,558
‎嘿，妳和妳的骯髒朋友在做什麼？

335
00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,644
‎-製造更多性病蟲？
‎-是又怎麼樣？

336
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:04,023
‎-嘿，我的朋友不骯髒
‎-妳說什麼？糖鞋女孩

337
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:08,485
‎這已經是今天第二次
‎我不確定那是不是讚美

338
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,780
‎我說我的朋友不骯髒

339
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,367
‎她是我的委託人，妳對她放尊重點

340
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,411
‎-懂嗎？
‎-懂了，真是的

341
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,581
‎柏蒂，可以進行妳的開場陳述了嗎？

342
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:24,084
‎還有蘇菲
‎妳是否願意承認妳付不出的公寓貸款

343
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,461
‎並非明智的投資？

344
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,087
‎那是面海的公寓，媽

345
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:33,427
‎陪審團的各位先生女士
‎我的朋友判斷有誤

346
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,763
‎正如我們在人生中都做過相同的事

347
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,973
‎例如，我今天請病假

348
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:42,061
‎而現在我卻置身於一家
‎單瓶空氣要價12元的超市裡

349
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,645
‎她浪費了空氣

350
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:47,357
‎還要替我的朋友
‎在性病蟲審判中進行辯護

351
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:50,277
‎這一切都是因為我判斷有誤

352
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,112
‎我的判斷都不會出錯

353
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,574
‎你不是開玩笑吧？先生
‎你都沒有管教你的孩子

354
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,953
‎所有的書都說別那麼做

355
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:05,709
‎一個人或其友人
‎應該為了判斷有誤而被消滅嗎？

356
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,670
‎我要傳召我的第一個證人

357
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,714
‎那名男子

358
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:11,924
‎天啊

359
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,513
‎我想你應該是這家店
‎所有銷售商品的專家

360
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,597
‎正確嗎？先生

361
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,016
‎-不正確
‎-無所謂

362
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,643
‎請你大聲朗讀

363
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,687
‎這個性病蟲藥膏的使用說明

364
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,608
‎“第一步驟，打開蓋子
‎第二步驟，塗上藥膏”

365
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,819
‎該塗多少藥膏？全部的藥膏？

366
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,487
‎我不清楚

367
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,405
‎該塗多快？該塗多久？

368
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,491
‎你為何在私人車道上停車
‎在道路上開車？

369
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:40,661
‎我有外遇

370
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,040
‎他連忠於妻子都辦不到

371
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:49,378
‎我們如何能寄望圖卡忠於使用說明？

372
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,214
‎她把兩件不相關的事連結在一起

373
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,549
‎那肯定是事實

374
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,259
‎這場審判的勝利應該能入袋

375
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:58,095
‎而那個袋子？在另一個袋子裡，寶貝

376
00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,930
‎妳的表現真是棒極了

377
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,724
‎現在換對方問妳問題
‎她一定會很難纏

378
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,893
‎但別被嚇倒了

379
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,937
‎我不會讓妳失望的

380
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:14,027
‎我也許只是個擁有
‎高級大學學位的重要精明都市人

381
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:17,656
‎-現在學校會給退學的人學位？
‎-媽

382
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,409
‎無論如何，妳究竟用了多少

383
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:21,952
‎性病蟲藥膏？女士

384
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:26,123
‎合理的劑量，也就是一…坨藥膏

385
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,876
‎有意思，非常有意思

386
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,504
‎抗議，這頂多是稍微有意思而已

387
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:36,091
‎駁回，蘇菲，有話快說吧
‎交通開始順暢了

388
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,509
‎好，我會說的

389
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,469
‎我在這家店的洗手間走了一圈

390
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:40,596
‎猜猜看我找到什麼？

391
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,264
‎進來吧，男士們

392
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,599
‎不好了

393
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,476
‎我為何總是忘了毀滅證據？

394
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,688
‎我就知道，妳把陰部藥膏混在一起
‎結果蟲變大了

395
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:50,939
‎妳替他們覺得難過

396
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,733
‎真是老套的情節

397
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:54,234
‎這不是他們的錯

398
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,944
‎這些蟲會被消滅

399
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,281
‎也許在妳下次放縱自己盡情滾床單

400
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:02,159
‎並傳染到性病蟲前
‎妳會先想想這件事

401
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,577
‎我不是因為性交感染的

402
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,121
‎事實上，我是在樹叢裡被感染的

403
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,917
‎當時我在街上行走，我需要上廁所

404
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:13,837
‎很幸運看見了古怪誘人的樹叢

405
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,551
‎怎麼了？比多數的公共廁所還乾淨

406
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:20,677
‎別批判

407
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:23,513
‎性病蟲…

408
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:26,058
‎上好了

409
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:30,062
‎怎麼了？總得有東西擦，別鄙視我

410
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:31,980
‎我會稍微鄙視妳

411
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,442
‎我就是那樣感染了那些蟲
‎我的“樹叢”與樹叢的接觸

412
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:38,779
‎等一下

413
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,322
‎-我可以進行交叉詢問
‎-抗議

414
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,448
‎-保持肅靜
‎-說得好

415
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:42,658
‎-完全同意
‎-圖卡

416
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:45,077
‎-成立
‎-嘿，那是我才能說的話

417
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:46,954
‎成立

418
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,580
‎等一下，所以我可以問？

419
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:54,086
‎巨嘴鳥小姐
‎妳之前提到的樹叢在哪裡？

420
00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:56,630
‎在性病蟲道的性病蟲樹叢

421
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,590
‎妳是指那個

422
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,926
‎最近被鳥城醫學會

423
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,011
‎劃為歷史地標區域的性病蟲道

424
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,014
‎而法律禁止捕殺裡面的性病蟲？

425
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:10,602
‎性病蟲道、歷史地標、禁止捕殺

426
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,104
‎案件駁回

427
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:18,694
‎我真的很想消滅那些性病蟲

428
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,363
‎連使用新噴火器的機會都沒有

429
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:24,074
‎想不想去燒了妳的學生貸款文件？

430
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:25,158
‎想去

431
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:28,161
‎-那份我得聯名簽署的文件？
‎-媽

432
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,705
‎性病蟲

433
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:33,709
‎妳辦到了，妳這個讀蠟燭
‎愛蠟燭和燈芯的美麗女巫

434
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,877
‎真希望斯貝克能看見這一幕

435
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,010
‎斯貝克…你這個混蛋

436
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:45,929
‎我要提名你角逐建築師獎

437
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:48,807
‎麥斯威爾，你先把你的獎杯給他

438
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,643
‎真希望柏蒂能看見這一幕

439
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,063
‎我真不敢相信我們辦到了

440
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:57,774
‎我真不敢相信我的陰毛感覺這麼輕

441
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:01,028
‎妳已經出門整整一個小時了

442
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:03,280
‎儘管妳今天的“柏蒂病例”相當嚴重

443
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:04,906
‎而且我在大眾前演說

444
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,659
‎蛇也沒有從我的嘴裡爆發出來

445
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:08,827
‎真是不得了的成就

446
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:13,540
‎這個性病蟲慘案
‎讓我領悟到自己可以應付任何事

447
00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:17,961
‎這提醒了我，我有很重要的事要做

448
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:19,546
‎去吧

449
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:30,390
‎-下回的女人佔位會議見
‎-女神與妳同在

450
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:34,269
‎-酷女士
‎-對，酷女士

451
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,272
‎我仍然無法分辨妳們說話的口氣
‎不過謝謝妳們

452
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,693
‎-嘿，我要烘焙
‎-太好了

453
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,488
‎-但我已經有一份全職的工作
‎-當學徒如何？

454
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:45,739
‎很好，那是什麼意思？

455
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:49,326
‎每週選幾個晚上來這裡
‎我教妳烘焙的技巧

456
00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:51,828
‎那真是非常慷慨的提議，完全符合了

457
00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:54,915
‎我工作時間的範圍
‎我不懂我為何還大吼大叫

458
00:22:58,668 --> 00:23:00,587
‎我要吃妳的腳

459
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:02,506
‎你這個傻瓜

460
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:06,718
‎嘿，妳眼前可是建築界的新壞男孩

461
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,762
‎我得到那個稱呼因為我是個好男孩

462
00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:11,890
‎太好了，我今天也過得很棒

463
00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:14,559
‎我會開始每週在烘焙坊工作幾天

464
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:15,477
‎天啊

465
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,854
‎不過妳仍然會在康泰鳥巢工作？

466
00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:19,022
‎工作量似乎很大

467
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,775
‎-對，但我應付得來
‎-我知道妳可以

468
00:23:26,029 --> 00:23:26,988
‎拜託，各位

469
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:30,992
‎格雷格，你要是能在排練前
‎先看樂譜就太好了

470
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:33,870
‎你們都沒有回覆
‎我的商品設計電子郵件

471
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:37,707
‎你們到底真的想成立樂團？
‎還是只抱著好玩的心理？

472
00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:40,961
‎艾西娜，別再磨蹭妳的鈴鼓了

473
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:48,593
‎我愛死你們了

474
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:57,644
‎（康泰鳥巢）

475
00:23:57,727 --> 00:24:03,024
‎那就是我們能在第三季結束前
‎將收益翻三倍的方法

476
00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:07,404
‎我只是想補充…

477
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:12,075
‎情況看起來很糟

478
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,785
‎這種事從來沒發生過

479
00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:18,623
‎嘶

480
00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,128
‎這是哪裡？

481
00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:07,005
‎字幕翻譯：黃琪芳