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00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,718
[theme song playing]
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00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:13,388
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪
3
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:17,434
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪
4
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,062
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Bertie & Tuca and Tuca & Bertie ♪
5
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♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪
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-♪ Tuca ♪
-♪ And Bertie ♪
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[both vocalize]
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[theme song ends]
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-[snoring]
-[Bertie] "To whom it may concern..."
10
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,049
-Bleh! Too formal.
-What?
11
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:53,011
"How's it hangin', Holland, ya bossy boy?"
12
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Whoa, too cool.
13
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[yawns] Dear Bertie, what's happening?
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"Good sir,
'tis with a humble heart I admit-eth
15
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I've fallen ill this early morn..."
16
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,814
Ah! Too poetic.
17
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Ugh! Why do I always write like this
when I'm asking for a sick day?
18
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,903
Now, how would I write if I was puking?
19
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-Oh, no! Are you-- Are you sick?
-No.
20
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Well, yes! I'm feeling jittery!
21
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Mm. Mm-hmm.
22
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,620
Yeah, the flu shot vaccine
is only 65 percent effective this season.
23
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-That one's tough.
-There's no floor to the universe.
24
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Oh, sure. Sure, sure.
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And I have to give a big presentation
at work today!
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There it is!
27
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Look, I know you've been
under a lot of pressure
28
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since you got that promotion,
29
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but maybe you're just having
one of your pre-panic attacks, you know?
30
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-Where you spin out over something small?
-I don't do that!
31
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Um, it happens a few times a month.
32
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Well, what if a snake
crawls in my mouth, lays eggs,
33
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and baby snakes slither out of my mouth
in the middle of a meeting?
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-That would be so embarrassing!
-Is that a thing that can happen?
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It's only a matter of time.
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You know, I also have
a really stressful day ahead at my job,
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but sometimes
all you need to do is show up.
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-Ugh!
-Ooh, I know what you need.
39
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Oh-ho! You need the Worry Vacuum!
40
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Let me just plug this in right here.
[grunts]
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How about, "Hey, Holland.
Can't come in today.
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Keep the coffee hot for me." Ha-ha!
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Wow, that is awful.
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[Speckle imitating vacuum]
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The Worry Vac is sucking
all of your anxiety away!
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[sighs]
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And now let's switch on the deep clean
to root out the panic.
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[imitating vacuum]
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-[both scream]
-Shit! I mean, don't worry.
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This is a job for the real vacuum.
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-[vacuum humming]
-Uh, this is making me feel worse.
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-[knocking on wall]
-[both gasp]
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-[burps]
-[both sigh]
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[both] Tuca.
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[music playing on TV]
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Quiet! You have to fly pretty high
to get one over on Judge Sparrow.
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I didn't spend an hour in hair and makeup
to get my feathers ruffled!
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Yes! Get 'em, Judge Sparrow!
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Oh, hey! I didn't pay my cable bill
and my acquaintance Ryan is on Bird Court.
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Your friend who was hit by a car?
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Yup! But we just found out
he punched the car first.
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[car beeps]
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News flash: birds lay eggs, not bullshit!
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[eagle screeches]
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[laughs]
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Oh, hey. You guys found the pastries
I made last night.
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Mm, Bertie, you're getting better
and better at baking, I swear.
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Yeah, these are really good!
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No.
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I just whipped them up...
and they're perfect!
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I'm gonna go get dressed.
Don't talk about me while I'm gone!
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We never do!
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Yoinks!
Why aren't you getting ready for work?
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Well, I'm actually kind of sick.
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-[coughs]
-Uh-huh.
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I know you.
You're having one of your...
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"I can't go outside because
literally everything terrifies me
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and my body
is holding my mind hostage" days.
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Or as I like to call it,
"A case of the Berties."
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You know, it's better
if you just suck it up and--
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Go to work. I know.
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No! Ditch it and hang with your pal Tuca!
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Work sucks!
And that presentation sounds boring.
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-How did you--
-I heard everything you said
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in your bedroom.
86
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The walls here are super thin. [grunts]
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[bees buzzing]
88
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-Oh, no! I made a bee hole!
-Huh?
89
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I don't wanna go out.
90
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Staying inside
is the best thing for me today.
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Listen. You have to come
with me to the store.
92
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I have...
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sex bugs!
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-[chuckles] Yeah, right.
-No, really. Check it.
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-[dance music playing]
-[chanting] Sex bugs! Sex bugs! Sex bugs!
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00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,435
-What?
-They're trouser crickets, Bertie!
97
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Pests in my nest!
Cooties in my culottes!
98
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-Please stop.
-Please help.
99
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Why can't you just go get the lotion
or whatever by yourself?
100
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You know me! I need you
to keep me focused and on task.
101
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It'll be a ten-minute trip, tops.
102
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Like a Tuca ten
or a real ten minutes?
103
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Just ten actual minutes, I promise!
104
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-Like a Tuca promise?
-You've gotta come!
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If I try to find medicine by myself,
who knows what I'll come back with!
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More sex bugs, probably.
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Ew! Okay, fine!
108
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You know I can't say no to you.
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Let me just finish this email
to my boss. Hey!
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"Me sick. Cough. Cough." Send.
111
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-Tuca!
-No time to argue.
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It's sent. Let's go!
113
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[electronic voice sings]
♪ Little bird, put your pants on ♪
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♪ Little bird, put your pants on ♪
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♪ Going outside ♪
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No... Yes!
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♪ Going outside ♪
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Wait a minute! Explain.
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These make me feel safe.
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Normally I'd say, "Girl, you look like
you want someone to snack on your feet."
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But since you're anxious,
I'll say nothing.
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Thank you.
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[vocalizing]
124
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-[Bertie squeals]
-[Tuca laughs]
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[grunting]
126
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-Eek! Teens!
-Out of the way, sprouts!
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We like your shoes.
128
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Yeah. You look like a baby.
So cool.
129
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Was that sarcasm?
130
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No, we really like them.
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Yeah, so cute.
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Thank you.
133
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Uh, the words you're saying are nice,
134
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but the way you say them
makes them sound mean, so...
135
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,611
They're teenagers, Bertie.
136
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-Everything they say is a lie.
-Eep!
137
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-Oh, my God. Are we mean?
-No way.
138
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[burps]
139
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-Uh...
-Ugh!
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[groans]
141
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Why does it feel
like everyone's staring at me?
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I better not run into anyone
from work out here.
143
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Why don't you just quit that job?
Baking is your true calling.
144
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Didn't that pastry guy
give you his number?
145
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Yeah, but that's really more of a hobby,
and I have a good job.
146
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,804
Plus, I just got a promotion.
147
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,515
And it's hard to start fresh
with a new career at our age.
148
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:34,936
-I start a new career every week!
-And I don't have a rich aunt to lean on.
149
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Lean? [scoffs]
150
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I like to cannonball
into that pool of unearned cash!
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00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,319
Hey, short shorts.
Nice itching.
152
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Beat it, Bruce!
153
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You mean for the third time today?
Don't mind if I do.
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-[laughing]
-Was it Bruce?
155
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Did he give you the sex bugs?
156
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,580
-It's okay if--
-No!
157
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You know I haven't had sex in six months.
158
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,585
But you know sex bugs can lay dormant
159
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for six months, 11 days,
and eight hours, right?
160
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,298
-How did you know that?
-There's a billboard!
161
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,845
Jeez, in that case,
I could have gotten them from anyone!
162
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:14,267
Those last 11 days and eight hours
before my six-month dry spell were nasty!
163
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,061
I was doing all kinds of screwing.
164
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-Like this one time--
-Oh, no. It's my boss!
165
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He knows I'm not sick!
He knows you have sex bugs!
166
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[clears throat]
167
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,278
-[gruffly] Hello?
-Hello, Bertie!
168
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,031
Just got your very brief email
and wanted to check in.
169
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,115
Eep! [clears throat]
170
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,659
Oh, thanks. [coughs]
171
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,912
Yeah, it's a pretty bad... bug,
172
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:34,996
and, uh... [coughs]
173
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:39,417
so sorry to miss the big presentation,
but feel free to carry on without me.
174
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,962
We wouldn't dream of it.
You're a team leader now.
175
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No one can take over
your responsibilities.
176
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Everything starts falling apart
the second you're gone.
177
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,343
Hey, there.
Come to our next meeting.
178
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,595
-[Holland] What was that?
-Oh, heh, that was the TV.
179
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,974
It's a show about a bird
who plays hooky from work.
180
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,433
[quietly] Oh, God, why!
181
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,018
"WTUS."
182
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,437
-"Women Taking Up Space."
-[woman] Wootus!
183
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,232
-Take back the bench! Claim the chaise!
-Shh!
184
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:06,361
-[both] Are you shushing me?
-No, I was... [coughs] shushing the TV.
185
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:10,115
Ah! Got one of those new shushable
flat screens, hmm? Nice.
186
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,282
[sighs]
187
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,827
Anyhow, tomorrow's even better
for the presentation.
188
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,371
The department heads
from other branches will be visiting.
189
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,874
Not to mention the company videographer,
several foreign investors,
190
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:24,045
and a busload of troubled teens
will be there to hang on your every word.
191
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,966
-Feel better! See you tomorrow!
-[beeps]
192
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,593
I'm good! I love takin' up space.
193
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,679
Spread on, sitster!
194
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,307
I didn't know my new position
would require so much public speaking.
195
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,184
Our Wootus meetings can help with that.
196
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,895
We also teach women to stand up
for themselves and say, "No!"
197
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,689
-Oh, no, thanks.
-Just take a flier!
198
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,149
-Could I not?
-Here you go!
199
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,026
Oh, fine! Whatever you want.
200
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,112
-That was a test, and you failed.
-[screams]
201
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,114
[flies buzzing]
202
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,408
[woman over PA]
Attention Fowl Foods shoppers!
203
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:54,909
Our melons are not expired.
204
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:58,329
Organic fruit is supposed to give off
a strong, biological fragrance.
205
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,957
The problem
isn't our smelly melons, it's you.
206
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,169
-You said we'd be done in ten minutes!
-The walk here doesn't count.
207
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:07,172
The timer doesn't start
until we get to the store. Duh.
208
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,089
Gah!
209
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,843
Why is it so crowded in here today?
210
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,304
Hey, relax! You're okay.
211
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,056
Here. Smell this.
212
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,807
[sniffs and sighs]
213
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,684
I love these candles.
214
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,312
They always have fun rando trivia
printed on the labels.
215
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,857
Look. "Bees have adapted
to survive on pastries."
216
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,777
-Thank you, candle!
-[chuckles] That is rando!
217
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,695
Wait, you're gonna use all of those?
218
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,655
Tuca, you should read
the directions first.
219
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,492
You could have a really bad reaction.
220
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:39,287
Nah, that's just your worry wart
flapping its warty mouth again.
221
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,372
[mumbling]
222
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,752
I'll be right back. You just chill here.
223
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:49,339
Okay, but don't take too long because
I really need to get back home ASAP.
224
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,175
-Here.
-[sniffs and sighs]
225
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,010
It's okay. [exhales]
226
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:54,928
I'm fine.
227
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,263
I'm just standing here,
learning some facts.
228
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,306
Candle facts.
229
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,308
-Eep!
-[snorting]
230
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,520
Wow, sweetie, you're really
committing to this activity, huh?
231
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,481
-How does that make you feel?
-Shut up, Daddy!
232
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,233
Somebody's getting another sticker
233
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,611
on their Helpful Communication Map
when we get home.
234
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,238
[whimpering]
235
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,825
[panting] Almost up to 30,000...
236
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,786
These people are wigging me out.
237
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,413
Juicing is not the same as blending!
238
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:25,750
-Smoothies are juice!
-Excuse me, could I just...
239
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,753
Well, I think we can all agree
that juice isn't food.
240
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,880
-Fuck you!
-Ow! [screams]
241
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:31,965
[clerk] Hey!
242
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,884
-[distorted] Smoothies.
-[distorted] Juicing!
243
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:35,885
[distorted] Medic!
244
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,555
What's taking Tuca so long?
245
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,184
"Works in 12 hours."
246
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:46,813
Hmm, extra strength, so...
247
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:51,067
if I put them together,
they'll work twice as good.
248
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,569
Medicine math!
249
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,780
-[woman] Juice!
-[man] Smoothies!
250
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,323
-[woman] Juice!
-[man] Smoothies!
251
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,577
[dialing, line rings]
252
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,787
Hm... I don't know.
253
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:05,415
That window doesn't look
structurally sound.
254
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,332
[Speckle] Hmm...
255
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,171
Speckle, you've done it again!
256
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:14,090
-You're the bad boy of architecture!
-Woo-hoo!
257
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,552
Maxwell, you're no longer
the bad boy of architecture!
258
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:18,678
[grunts]
259
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,432
-[laughs]
-Woo!
260
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,184
[snorting]
261
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,858
-[high-pitched ringing]
-[heartbeat thumping]
262
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,235
-♪ I'm losing my shit ♪
-[spotlight clanks]
263
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,779
♪ For so many reasons ♪
264
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:41,284
♪ I'm losing my grip
Yeah, it's panic season ♪
265
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,164
♪ I feel my uncontrollable fear
Makes it impossible to stay here ♪
266
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:50,752
♪ I'm losing my shit right now ♪
267
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,879
-♪ She's losing her shit ♪
-♪ She's losing her shit ♪
268
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,672
-♪ For no reason ♪
-♪ For no reason ♪
269
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,674
-♪ I'm losing my grip ♪
-♪ She's losing her grip ♪
270
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:59,427
-♪ For all of the reasons ♪
-♪ What are the reasons? ♪
271
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,305
♪ Uh, there are too many fears to name ♪
272
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,390
♪ Snakes, earthquakes
Blood and hurricanes ♪
273
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,476
♪ I'm going crazy and losing my shit ♪
274
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,519
-♪ But I can't help it ♪
-♪ No, she can't help it ♪
275
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:09,896
♪ So, I can't help it ♪
276
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,982
♪ Right now ♪
277
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,987
♪ Look at these dang assholes
Making fun of my pain ♪
278
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,741
♪ Lady, it's not our fault
That you're clearly insane ♪
279
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,327
♪ Sounds like general anxiety ♪
280
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,371
♪ Might wanna try drugs or therapy ♪
281
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,331
♪ Yoga and meditation are key ♪
282
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,252
♪ Mental health is as important
As brushing your teeth ♪
283
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,339
♪ Maybe it's just this effed-up world ♪
284
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:40,176
♪ There's nothing wrong with me ♪
285
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,552
No, that's not it.
286
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:46,557
♪ We're sexy, sexy sex bugs
Sexy, sexy sex bugs ♪
287
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,601
♪ She's losing her grip
But we don't give a shit ♪
288
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,645
♪ We're sexy-ass bugs ♪
289
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:58,361
♪ Speckle won't answer his phone
And Tuca's gone, I'm all alone ♪
290
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,783
♪ I hope everything's okay
I left my phone in the car ♪
291
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:07,078
♪ I'd go get it now
But I'm lazy and it's too far ♪
292
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,579
♪ She's sick in the head ♪
293
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,873
♪ She should stay in bed
Or take some kind of meds ♪
294
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,334
♪ I'd rather be dead ♪
295
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:19,882
♪ Than be here losing my shit ♪
296
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:21,676
[objects crash]
297
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,641
Shoot, I should've brought the matches.
298
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,060
-[screams]
-I'm back! Did I miss anything?
299
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,187
Ooh, nice grocery store fort.
300
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,982
I'm freaking out!
We've been here forever!
301
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,360
-Is everything okay?
-In the grand scheme of things, yes.
302
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,446
-[screams]
-[chanting] Sex bugs! Sex bugs!
303
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,406
But in the small scheme of things,
304
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,159
the sex bugs are big now,
and it's not my fault!
305
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,289
Stop! What did we say
about buggy-back riding?
306
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,749
It's inappropriate!
307
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,461
This is great cardio!
308
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,670
[screams]
309
00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,714
Sir, this is the express lane!
310
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,133
I'm not trained to handle this many items!
311
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:03,885
[buzzing]
312
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,680
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
313
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,892
-[phone clicking]
-Huh? What's going on? Oh, right.
314
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,520
So, maybe the giant sex bugs are my fault.
315
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,898
I told you not to mix those lotions.
316
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,025
I knew something like this would happen!
317
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,779
Bertie, look at these sex bugs.
They're just trying to have a good time.
318
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,573
Which is what I'm trying
to get you to do on your day off.
319
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,450
It's not a day off!
320
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,953
Okay? I called in sick because I knew
I couldn't handle anything today,
321
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,998
and now everything's probably falling
apart at work and everyone hates me.
322
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:37,502
Well, we had to postpone
Bertie's presentation, so...
323
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:38,795
let's watch a movie!
324
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,004
-[laughs]
-Yay, Movie Day!
325
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,131
-You go, girl!
-Hooray for Bertie!
326
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,259
-[Bertie whimpers]
-I know they look scary at first,
327
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,512
but you haven't met the sex bugs yet.
328
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:48,763
They're so cute!
329
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,723
That's Greg.
He's a bit of a handful.
330
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,892
And that's Athena.
She's the smart one.
331
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,602
You can tell by the glasses.
332
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,521
Leonardo, be careful!
333
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,773
[beeping]
334
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,316
This seems not good.
335
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,985
[chanting] Sex bug! Sex bug!
336
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:03,986
[gasps]
337
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,906
Bad sex bug! Bad!
338
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,616
-[whimpers]
-[tea kettle whistling]
339
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,034
That's it!
340
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,494
[screams]
341
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,705
I've been here way longer
than ten minutes, okay?
342
00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:17,083
I am so anxious, I just wanna die!
343
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,001
-[flies buzzing]
-And these melons reek!
344
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,461
[ghost cackling]
345
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:21,504
I'm going home!
346
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,047
Bertie, wait for me!
347
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,882
-[tires screech]
-Hold it right there!
348
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,551
Center for Sex Bug Control.
349
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:27,885
No one's going anywhere.
350
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,220
No!
351
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,682
[screams] No!
352
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,436
You're lucky that's just yogurt.
353
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:44,944
Good day, everyone.
354
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,779
I'm Ebony Black of the CSBC,
355
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,157
and this is my partner
and adult daughter Sophie.
356
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,075
She recently flunked
out of business school,
357
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,910
-so now she's working for me.
-Ugh!
358
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:55,371
Mom! You can just introduce me as Sophie.
359
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,290
We're just going to do
a routine extermination,
360
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,500
and then we'll have
you fine folks on your way.
361
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:02,003
Extermination?
You can't just kill them!
362
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,797
-There hasn't even been a trial!
-A trial? [laughs]
363
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,382
This is a standard procedure.
364
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,051
There's nothing standard
about the killing of innocent creatures
365
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,261
who just wanna party.
366
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,139
I demand a trial!
And Bertie will be my counsel!
367
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,100
-Uh, what?
-Ma'am, are these your sex bugs?
368
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,062
-Yes! We will not be shamed!
-[alarm buzzes]
369
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,898
Damn. You all shamed me.
370
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,901
-Uh, Tuca, I'm not--
-You assholes wanna be on the jury?
371
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,277
-[murmuring]
-[snorting]
372
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,863
All right,
although this is highly unorthodox,
373
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,073
I'm going to allow this
because the traffic heading back
374
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,160
to the CSBC headquarters
is murderous this time of day,
375
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,578
and I just cannot.
376
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,121
-Cool!
-Ugh!
377
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,459
[indistinct chatter]
378
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,586
So... I'm not a lawyer.
379
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,588
I'll be honest.
I have no idea what you do.
380
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,132
But I know you're the only person
who can help me.
381
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,843
It's easy! Just do what they do
on Judge Sparrow.
382
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,595
Order-order, gavel-gavel,
383
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,139
grovel-grovel, guilty,
innocent, blah-blah.
384
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,475
Hey! What are you
and your dirty friend doing?
385
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,561
-Making more sex bugs?
-So what if we are?
386
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:04,023
-Hey, my friend's not dirty.
-Uh, what was that, sugar shoes?
387
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,234
-[sizzling]
-That's the second time today
388
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:08,486
-I'm not sure if something's a compliment.
-[bell dings]
389
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,739
I said my friend is not dirty!
390
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:15,368
And this is my client,
and you will treat her with respect.
391
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,411
-Got it?
-Got it. Jeez.
392
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,581
Bertie, would you like to make
your opening statement now?
393
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:24,043
And, Sophie, would you like to admit
that condo loan you defaulted on
394
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,461
wasn't a wise investment?
395
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,088
It was beach-front, Mom!
396
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,339
[sighs]
397
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:33,427
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my friend used poor judgment,
398
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,721
like we all have
at some point in our lives.
399
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,890
For example,
I called in sick to work today,
400
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:41,435
and now I'm here in a grocery store
that sells $12 bottles of air.
401
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,604
Ugh! She's wasting it!
402
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:47,316
And I have to defend my best friend
in a sex bug trial,
403
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,777
all thanks to my poor judgment.
404
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,113
-[jurors murmuring]
-Well, I have great judgment.
405
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,491
Are you serious, sir?
You don't discipline your child.
406
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,910
[snorts and squeals]
407
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,954
All the books told me not to.
408
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:05,418
Should a person or that person's friends
be exterminated over poor judgment?
409
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,629
-[jurors murmuring]
-I'd like to call my first witness.
410
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,590
Um... that guy!
411
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:11,966
Oh, dear.
412
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:17,513
I presume you're an expert
on everything that this store sells.
413
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,598
Is that correct, sir?
414
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,017
-[clears throat] Not at all.
-It's no matter.
415
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,602
Could you read the instructions
416
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,688
for this sex bug medication
out loud, please?
417
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,609
"Step one, remove cap.
Step two, apply ointment."
418
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,819
How much do you apply?
The whole thing?
419
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,487
Uh... I don't know. Uh...
420
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,323
How fast should you apply it?
For how long?
421
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,491
Why do you park on a driveway
and drive on a parkway?
422
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,493
[stutters nervously]
423
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:40,661
I'm cheating on my wife!
424
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:41,579
[gasps]
425
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,041
If he can't be faithful to his wife,
426
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,709
then how can we expect Tuca
427
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,378
-to be faithful to these instructions?
-[jurors] Oh!
428
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,631
She connected two unrelated things!
429
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,507
[gasps] It must be true!
430
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,176
I think we got this in the bag.
431
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:58,054
And that bag?
Well, that bag is in another bag, baby.
432
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,847
Girl, you're a killer out there!
433
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,683
Now, it's their turn to question you,
and I'm sure she's gonna be tough,
434
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,727
but do not get intimidated.
435
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,021
Huh, I won't let you down!
436
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,861
Now, I may just be a big-time city slicker
with a fancy college degree...
437
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,072
Oh, they give degrees to dropouts now?
438
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,365
[yells] Mom!
439
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,409
Irregardless,
how many sex bugs medications
440
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,869
did you use, ma'am?
441
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:26,082
Just the responsible amount,
which is one... thing of medication.
442
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,876
Interesting. Very interesting.
443
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,505
Objection!
This is mildly interesting at best!
444
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,715
Overruled, but, Sophie, get to it.
445
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,092
Traffic is clearing up.
446
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,426
Oh, I'll get to it.
447
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,470
I took a little mosey
around this store's bathroom,
448
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:40,471
and guess what I found.
449
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,764
Come on in, boys!
450
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,599
-[jurors gasp]
-No!
451
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,227
Why do I always forget
to destroy the evidence?
452
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,395
-[jurors gasp]
-I knew it!
453
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,647
You combined hoo-ha meds,
and now the bugs are big
454
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:50,940
and you feel sorry for them!
455
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,650
It's a story as old as time.
456
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,151
It's not their fault!
457
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,861
Well, these bugs are gonna fry.
458
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:59,198
Maybe you'll think about that before
you go shucking a whole field of corn
459
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,118
with your ruby rhubarb
and get sex bugs again.
460
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,577
I didn't get them from sex.
461
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,122
The truth is I got them from a bush!
462
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,081
[all gasp]
463
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,917
I was walking down the street
when nature called.
464
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,796
Luckily, I spotted an oddly inviting bush.
465
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,257
-[jurors gasp]
-Ah!
466
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:19,552
What? It's cleaner
than most public restrooms.
467
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:20,678
Don't judge.
468
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:23,514
[sex bugs chanting]
Sex bugs! Sex bugs! Sex bugs!
469
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,725
Ah! All done.
470
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,059
[Bertie] Tuca!
471
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,061
What? I had to wipe with something.
472
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,062
Don't judge.
473
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,939
I'm gonna judge a little.
474
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:35,443
So, that's how I got those bugs,
bush-to-bush contact.
475
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,612
Huh, wait a second.
476
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,322
-I get to cross-examine!
-Objection!
477
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,449
-Order!
-Hear, hear!
478
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,658
-Tally-ho!
-Tuca!
479
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,077
-Sustained!
-Hey! I say that!
480
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:46,954
Sustained.
481
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,581
Wait. So, can I go?
482
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:49,540
Mm-hmm.
483
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:54,044
Ms. Toucan, where was
this aforementioned bush?
484
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,630
It was a sex bug bush,
the one on Sex Bug Lane.
485
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,591
You mean the same Sex Bug Lane
486
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,885
that was recently zoned
as a historical landmark
487
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:03,012
by the Bird Town Medical Society
488
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,556
where thereby none of the sex bugs
can legally be killed?
489
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:10,561
Hmm. "Sex Bug Lane,"
"historical landmark," "don't kill."
490
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,104
Case dismissed.
491
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,939
-[all cheering]
-Yes!
492
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:18,569
I really wanted to exterminate those bugs.
493
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:21,280
Didn't even get to use
my new flamethrower.
494
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,033
Hmm. Wanna go torch
your student loan paperwork?
495
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,075
Yeah.
496
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,162
-The ones that I had to co-sign on?
-Mom!
497
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,705
-[chanting] Sex bugs!
-Woo!
498
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:33,709
You did it, you beautiful, candle-reading,
wax-loving wick-witch!
499
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,961
I wish Speckle could have seen this.
500
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:37,630
[Speckle] Hmm...
501
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:42,927
-Huh?
-Speckle... you son of a bitch!
502
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,930
I'm nominating you for an Archie Award!
503
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:48,307
For now, Maxwell, you give him yours!
504
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,850
-Hmph!
-[sighs]
505
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:51,560
I wish Bertie could've seen this.
506
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:55,439
-I can't believe we pulled this off.
-Woo!
507
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:58,692
-I can't believe how light my pubes feel.
-[laughs]
508
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,945
Hey, you spent a whole hour
out of the house,
509
00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:03,239
even though you had
a super bad case of the Berties.
510
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:04,782
Plus, I spoke in public
511
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:07,618
and snakes didn't even explode
out of my mouth!
512
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:08,828
What an accomplishment!
513
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:09,870
[chuckles]
514
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:14,124
This whole sex bug fiasco helped me
realize I can handle anything. [gasps]
515
00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:15,543
That reminds me.
516
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:17,795
I got something important I gotta do!
517
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,547
You go, girl!
518
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,382
♪ Can't stop, won't stop
That's the motto ♪
519
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,384
♪ Sippin' on the money
Like drippin' gelato ♪
520
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:25,719
♪ Tony had it goin' on
Did it all in the name of the game ♪
521
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,596
♪ For fame, to look jovious
To, to... ♪
522
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,391
-See you at the next Wootus meeting!
-Goddess be with you.
523
00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:34,270
-Cool lady.
-Yeah, cool lady.
524
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,022
I'm still unsure of your tone,
but thank you!
525
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,315
[bell jingles]
526
00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:40,359
Hey, I wanna bake!
527
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,694
Ah, excellent!
528
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,488
-But I already have a full-time job!
-An apprenticeship, then?
529
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:45,739
Great! What's that?
530
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:49,326
You come in a few nights a week,
and I teach you the tools of the trade.
531
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,745
That's a very generous offer
that fits within the confines
532
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:54,415
of my work schedule,
and I'm not sure why I'm still yelling!
533
00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:58,085
[Speckle growls]
534
00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,962
-Eep!
-I'm gonna eat your feet!
535
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:02,548
-[giggles] Ha-ha! You dummy!
-[kissing]
536
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:06,635
Hey, you're looking
at the new bad boy of architecture.
537
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,762
I get to be called that
because I'm such a good boy!
538
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:09,805
That's great!
539
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,891
-I actually had a pretty cool day, too.
-Hmm.
540
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,518
I'm going to start working at a bakery
a few days a week.
541
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:15,436
Oh, wow!
542
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,813
Yeah, but you're still working
at Conde Nest?
543
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,023
That seems like a lot.
544
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,817
-Yeah, but I can handle it.
-I know you can.
545
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,652
[cymbals crashing]
546
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,821
[discordant music playing]
547
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:26,906
Come on, guys.
548
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:30,951
Greg, it would be great if you could
read the music before rehearsal.
549
00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:33,871
And no one replied to my email
about merch design.
550
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:37,625
Do you bugs wanna be a real band,
or are we just having fun here?
551
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,961
Also, Athena, stop humping
your tambourines!
552
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,297
[tambourine rattling]
553
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,884
[funk music playing]
554
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,594
I love y'all!
555
00:23:57,728 --> 00:24:03,025
And that's how we can triple our revenue
by the end of the third quarter.
556
00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:06,820
-[sighs]
-Well, I just wanna add...
557
00:24:06,904 --> 00:24:07,947
[retching]
558
00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:10,240
-Ah! [coughs]
-[people screaming]
559
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:11,659
Ooh, that looks real bad.
560
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,452
This never happens!
561
00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:18,207
-[hisses]
-Huh.
562
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,124
[retching continues]
563
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:21,126
[funk music playing]
564
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:01,375
[whistling]
565
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:02,334
[grunts]
566
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:05,295
Where am I?