1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,718 ‎NETFLIX 原創影集 2 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,677 ‎寶貝柏蒂、柏蒂寶貝、寶貝柏蒂 3 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,388 ‎妳一定會喜歡這個地方 4 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,766 ‎那個熟食店男好性感 5 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:02,103 ‎他灑醋的時候…天啊 6 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,897 ‎妳有新的暗戀對象時真有趣 7 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,690 ‎我超級迷戀他的 8 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,778 ‎-我的午餐 ‎-拿去吧 9 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:14,282 ‎他真的好酷 ‎就像鋪在甜美番茄上的清脆萵苣 10 00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:15,784 ‎真令人興奮 11 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,285 ‎想像一下 12 00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:20,121 ‎也許有一天他會騎機車載妳 13 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,707 ‎他騎車的速度 ‎永遠不超過時速限制8公里 14 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,584 ‎他帶妳去沙漠 15 00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:27,504 ‎你們會在那裡認識一群三明治藝術家 16 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,215 ‎遠離世俗,在那裡共同開始新的人生 17 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,925 ‎但不會離醫院太遠 18 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,344 ‎某個夜晚,正當其他人在談笑時 19 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,806 ‎你們釋放對彼此的慾望,吻在一起 20 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,684 ‎最後,激情與安全所匯合的慾望湧出 21 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,230 ‎直到你們的軀體越過快樂的極限 22 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,900 ‎妳慾火中燒到爆了 23 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,986 ‎-斯貝克不辦事? ‎-不是,斯貝克很努力辦事 24 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:55,323 ‎每個週二和週四的晚間7點45分 25 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:57,867 ‎自從我們同居之後,工作變得很忙 26 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,203 ‎我的生活已經變得有點公式化 27 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,498 ‎接下來會發生什麼事我一清二楚 28 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,083 ‎斯貝克會回到家裡 29 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,294 ‎把外套扔在沙發上,鑰匙會掉出來 ‎他會說:“真是的” 30 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,796 ‎然後在我的喙上親一下 31 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:14,134 ‎我們會先親熱個兩分鐘,不多不少 ‎然後他會抓住我的左胸部 32 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,052 ‎胸部選得好 33 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,846 ‎他會去刷牙,我去拿保險套 34 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,348 ‎腦中會閃過一個念頭: ‎“我該再次吃避孕藥 35 00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,142 ‎可是避孕藥讓我瘋狂” 36 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:25,937 ‎然後傳教士體位、短暫的狗爬式體位 ‎加速的傳教士體位 37 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,732 ‎你們應該試試“啄木鳥式” ‎並不像聽起來的那樣,而是更糟 38 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,360 ‎他在那裡 39 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:38,491 ‎他是魯莽,而且沒有空間意識 40 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,535 ‎他完全適合妳 41 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,079 ‎妳可以感受到我跟他之間的電流吧? 42 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:49,752 ‎好,都完成了 43 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,381 ‎現在電流安全地包覆在電力管裡 44 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,133 ‎72號 45 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,301 ‎是我們 46 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,845 ‎快去那裡展現妳的圖卡魔法 47 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,348 ‎72號 48 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,018 ‎妳為何這麼彆扭? 49 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,228 ‎讓他見識妳的圖卡魅力 50 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,063 ‎去做妳對麋鹿城酒保所做的事 51 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:16,154 ‎或對換羽樂團主唱所做的事 52 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,995 ‎或在春假時對計程車司機所做的事 53 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,999 ‎(啤酒) 54 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:32,962 ‎去做那個狂野、衝動 ‎偶爾很可怕的圖卡 55 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,839 ‎好,那仍然是我 56 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,509 ‎-我是72號 ‎-嗨 57 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,471 ‎雙份義式香腸加上額外義式香腸 ‎不要麵包? 58 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:42,722 ‎他記得我 59 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,519 ‎她的骨頭跑出來了 60 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,065 ‎真抱歉 61 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:53,650 ‎走開 62 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,111 ‎“骨的摸你” 63 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,906 ‎好多骨頭 64 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:03,493 ‎總之,我朋友希望能有你的電話號碼 65 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,245 ‎我不外送 66 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,455 ‎不是,她很喜歡你 67 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,541 ‎-沒問題 ‎-謝了 68 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,920 ‎這條醃黃瓜給妳在路上吃 ‎持續做很酷的自己 69 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,922 ‎醃黃瓜? 70 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,803 ‎(古歌,增添性生活樂趣) 71 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:25,098 ‎“可在家跳的性感交配舞蹈” 72 00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:29,102 ‎就是這樣,快來吧,寶貝,我想嚐你 73 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,437 ‎我不確定這是個好建議,網路 74 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,232 ‎-就是這樣,猛男 ‎-嘿,寶貝 75 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,067 ‎-嗨 ‎-真是的 76 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:41,322 ‎我們看見雄性知更鳥和雌性歐歌鶇 77 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,700 ‎在長期同居的情形下 78 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:48,204 ‎正準備進入既定的交配儀式 79 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,250 ‎此地區之雄性知更鳥的獨特之處 80 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,378 ‎是能夠在觸摸進行到整整兩分鐘之時 81 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,797 ‎抓住他伴侶左邊胸部的神奇能力 82 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,844 ‎等一下,怎麼回事? 83 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,804 ‎真令人難以置信 84 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:08,766 ‎沒有人見過雄性知更鳥 ‎在野外進行這種行為 85 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:13,521 ‎仔細看,雌性歐歌鶇充滿了期待 86 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,109 ‎就差那麼一點 87 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:21,279 ‎先後天之間無止境的爭鬥 88 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,781 ‎有時候雙方都得不到滿足 89 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,910 ‎天啊,我愛死賞鳥了 90 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:32,957 ‎妮可拉,別偷看了 ‎過來吃妳的羊肉布丁跟豌豆泥 91 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,334 ‎媽 92 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:38,796 ‎嘿,也許今晚我們試試不同的方式 93 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:43,676 ‎來試試你對我發號施令如何? 94 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,763 ‎妳是指角色扮演? 95 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,681 ‎對 96 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,352 ‎妳要先討論細節,還是先選安全詞? 97 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,978 ‎“熱馬鈴薯”如何? 98 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,229 ‎不行,太性感了 99 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,065 ‎或許“溫馬鈴薯”? 100 00:05:57,148 --> 00:06:00,651 ‎不必了,我們直接開始 ‎什麼都好,你知道吧? 101 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,404 ‎好,我想想,也許像這樣… 102 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,240 ‎彎腰趴下,妳這個小搗蛋鬼 103 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:07,909 ‎好 104 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,287 ‎妳得接受懲罰 105 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,665 ‎妳真是非常不乖的鳥 106 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:18,086 ‎我對妳感到很失望,不乖的鳥 107 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,129 ‎但我是很乖的鳥 108 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,382 ‎妳想讓我認為妳是很乖的鳥 109 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,509 ‎但妳是齷齪的小鳥,對吧? 110 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,802 ‎不對,我不是 111 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,470 ‎我的天 112 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,805 ‎妳在哭嗎?請別哭 113 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,266 ‎我的天,別這樣,那只是演戲 114 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,603 ‎-溫馬鈴薯… ‎-真的很抱歉,我不知道為什麼… 115 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,232 ‎我的天,別這樣 116 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,359 ‎我沒想到自己會有這種反應 117 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:42,944 ‎搞什麼? 118 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,239 ‎也許我們操之過急,對吧? 119 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:49,867 ‎對,你說得對 ‎很抱歉我把場面搞得很尷尬 120 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,495 ‎也許今晚我們還是採用平常方式? 121 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,832 ‎好,我去很快刷個牙 122 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,751 ‎平常方式… 123 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:03,840 ‎(可食內衣、《完整普通慾經》) 124 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,425 ‎(正常尺寸保險套、假陽具) 125 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,009 ‎(西點彼德法式烘焙坊) 126 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,515 ‎妳該打電話給他 127 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,809 ‎妳有他的電話號碼,有什麼大不了? 128 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,352 ‎如果不打電話給他 129 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,313 ‎他只會像性感腫瘤般,佔據妳的腦海 130 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:22,984 ‎妳真的要把我 ‎跟那個熟食店男湊在一起 131 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:26,487 ‎對,熟食店男 ‎妳會跟他出去約會,對吧? 132 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,405 ‎(自我毀滅) 133 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,449 ‎我要讀這本書,因為… 134 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:33,786 ‎我很愛看書 ‎我一直想看這本書,所以… 135 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:39,500 ‎對,“輪耕在18世紀開始流行” 136 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,127 ‎(性愛書籍) 137 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:45,506 ‎對…就是這樣,歐洲,輪耕那些作物 138 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,846 ‎(《淫亂入門》,如何成為淫亂人) 139 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,681 ‎(《如何操電腦》,你知道你想) 140 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,141 ‎什麼? 141 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,435 ‎(《你的電話號碼》,在書中留下) 142 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,520 ‎等一下,有了 143 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,148 ‎(《溫良人的激情性愛》 ‎琳達羅芙愛斯著) 144 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,441 ‎很好 145 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:06,527 ‎《溫良人的激情性愛》 ‎妳會喜歡那本書的 146 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,154 ‎我不完全同意裡面寫的 147 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:12,325 ‎《口活黃鸝和乳暈的口述歷史》 ‎很容易閱讀 148 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,619 ‎千萬別把妳的電話號碼留在那本書裡 149 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:17,288 ‎-圖卡… ‎-還有這本書,我寫的 150 00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,040 ‎(《性愛讚》,巨嘴鳥圖卡著) 151 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,666 ‎-很棒的書,那是我 ‎-圖卡 152 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:24,462 ‎我不是跟妳說過 ‎別在性愛書籍區逗留太久? 153 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,589 ‎少煩我,傑瑞米 154 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,716 ‎妳跟熟食店男要去哪裡約會? 155 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,719 ‎妳應該帶他去看螢光蟲展覽 156 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,596 ‎等等,也許該去遊樂園 157 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,098 ‎或者妳、我和斯貝克一起去看電影 158 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,975 ‎我喜歡當電燈泡 159 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,811 ‎第三者的重要性 ‎就像雙輪單座犁的第三個輪子 160 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,481 ‎這種犁在19世紀的東歐很常見 161 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,901 ‎等一下,妳很緊張 162 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:49,862 ‎妳一定是非常喜歡他 163 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,114 ‎所以妳才這麼奇怪 164 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:56,577 ‎-圖卡戀愛了 ‎-好了,我會打電話給他,行了吧? 165 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:59,288 ‎傑瑞米,替柏蒂結帳 166 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,916 ‎她要買專為不知如何上床的飢渴人 ‎所寫的書 167 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,125 ‎-沒問題 ‎-圖卡 168 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,260 ‎要去約會,我信心滿滿 169 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:16,722 ‎肯定刺激,我們會上床 170 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,016 ‎妳走音了 171 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,769 ‎好吧 172 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,231 ‎我看起來就像美味可口的小吃 173 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:28,693 ‎也許就是小吃害妳的腿粗得不像話 174 00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:29,610 ‎搞什麼?賤人 175 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,738 ‎妳剛才說出了 ‎我最深的恐懼與不安全感? 176 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,575 ‎我是鏡子,賤人,看到什麼說什麼 177 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,077 ‎妳的喙?大得不像話 178 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,997 ‎“試穿衣服”剪輯鏡頭應該有趣才對 179 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,083 ‎(我的喙太大,不想去約會) 180 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:47,712 ‎不行 181 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:49,964 ‎不行 182 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,550 ‎絕對不行 183 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,970 ‎我從來不化妝 ‎不過初次約會似乎是開始的好時機 184 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:58,347 ‎開始來勾勒我的臉吧 185 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,476 ‎-塗上厚厚一層吧,愚蠢潑婦 ‎-天啊,這鏡子是誰製作的? 186 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:06,022 ‎刻薄鏡子公司的鏡子銷售量下降了 187 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,690 ‎你們這些無能的混蛋 188 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,151 ‎我們改做和善的鏡子如何? 189 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,611 ‎該死,凱蘿 190 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,238 ‎要不是妳是我的女兒,我早開除妳了 191 00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:19,493 ‎天啊,這個鳥喙遮瑕膏真是厲害 192 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,454 ‎塗太多了 193 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:27,543 ‎太棒了 194 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,755 ‎(我的喙太大,不想去約會 ‎已讀,下午3點24分) 195 00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:32,965 ‎真是的,圖卡 196 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,592 ‎(多數女孩渴望喙有曲線美) 197 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,847 ‎(日程表,週一) 198 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,182 ‎(8點和斯貝克吃晚餐) 199 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:43,934 ‎(週二) 200 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,061 ‎(週三…) 201 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,442 ‎(下午2點,甜蜜的死亡) 202 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,615 ‎(我可愛的人生日程表,死後首日) 203 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,001 ‎“了解伴侶的期望 204 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,254 ‎例如,共同觀賞一部色情電影” 205 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,340 ‎柏蒂 206 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,967 ‎妳收到我傳的訊息嗎? 207 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,637 ‎(何藍,剛剛,週一,對吧?) 208 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,847 ‎提高士氣,再見 209 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,392 ‎今天是週二 210 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,309 ‎(康泰鳥巢) 211 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:31,691 ‎圖卡? 212 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,280 ‎好,圖卡,冷靜點 213 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,325 ‎嘶… 214 00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,038 ‎不得了的入場方式,妳從天而降 215 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,331 ‎抱歉,我遲到了半小時 216 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,875 ‎如果你想取消約會,我能理解 217 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,295 ‎我也剛到,我不戴錶 ‎我根據太陽來算時間 218 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,131 ‎天啊,真酷 219 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,675 ‎我們快走吧,我們的行程很緊湊 220 00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,803 ‎觀賞蟲、玩遊樂設施、牽手… 221 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,055 ‎我是說你不一定要那麼做 222 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:09,812 ‎汗水淋漓 223 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,027 ‎那… 224 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,781 ‎快讓我看看你平常會看的色情片 225 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:25,202 ‎這感覺像個陷阱 226 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:30,666 ‎我從未與任何人分享這件事,好吧 227 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,626 ‎(古歌,兩隻鳥一個巢) 228 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:33,878 ‎(挑逗鳥網站) 229 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:38,632 ‎也許是我點的外送披薩 230 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,469 ‎是我,妳的男友,我要搬進來 231 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,015 ‎好,寶貝 232 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,559 ‎我愛妳,我真高興我們同居了 233 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:52,396 ‎我唯一的遺憾是沒有早點這麼做 ‎我愛你 234 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,939 ‎我很抱歉她是藍色的 235 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:57,234 ‎-沒問題吧? ‎-當然沒問題 236 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:58,944 ‎我很高興你能坦誠待我 237 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:03,115 ‎我很高興你能坦誠待我 ‎對,就是那裡 238 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:06,243 ‎我希望得到妳的完全同意再進入那裡 239 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,830 ‎(蟲蟲歡迎各位到螢光室) 240 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,586 ‎這個地方很浪漫 241 00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:16,879 ‎我很喜歡 242 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:20,591 ‎就如同我喜歡三明治界裡的越式法包 243 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:22,009 ‎(吻他) 244 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,719 ‎別告訴我該怎麼做,蟲蟲們 245 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:26,263 ‎(蟲蟲們最懂) 246 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,765 ‎別管這些蟲了,看著我 247 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,061 ‎我們要製造噪音? 248 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,651 ‎這太好玩了 249 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:41,153 ‎我被禁止在熟食店裡製造噪音 250 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,239 ‎妳真漂亮 251 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,162 ‎只有我覺得這裡太暗了嗎? 252 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,331 ‎(禁止開燈) 253 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,542 ‎只是一堆蟲 254 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,710 ‎太醜了 255 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:03,342 ‎為什麼?媽媽,為什麼? 256 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,886 ‎紅色警戒…他們看見真實的樣貌了 257 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,350 ‎我喜歡這些蟲的模樣,你也喜歡吧? 258 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,686 ‎妳把他嚇跑了,圖卡 259 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,729 ‎他很帥、很窩心 260 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,606 ‎他有辦法拿到免費火腿 261 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,818 ‎妳只要保持平常心 ‎呈現自信滿滿的巨嘴鳥女人 262 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,027 ‎加上強健的雙腿 263 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,239 ‎強健的雙腿 264 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,491 ‎(嘿,進行得如何?) 265 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,952 ‎(螢光蟲展覽太浪漫 ‎嚇壞了,救命) 266 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,495 ‎我替妳準備了烤薯條 267 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,540 ‎(浪漫?我也會嚇壞) 268 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,836 ‎(我真的要瘋了) 269 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,255 ‎(好可愛) 270 00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:45,259 ‎我替妳買了這些,顏色跟妳很搭 271 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:47,511 ‎謝謝 272 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:54,101 ‎我們得走了,該去遊樂園了 273 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,812 ‎希望你喜歡劣質的安全設備和嘔吐 274 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:02,192 ‎妳真性感 275 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,987 ‎(恭喜,從未有人把色情片看完) 276 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,615 ‎她是個很棒的女演員 277 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,533 ‎我認為她可以變成主流演員 278 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,076 ‎對吧?我也那麼認為 279 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,787 ‎但我覺得她選擇不往那個方向發展 280 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,749 ‎何不讓我看看妳喜歡觀賞的影片? 281 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,460 ‎不算是色情片 282 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:22,588 ‎看過《納瑟菲爾之巢》嗎? 283 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,134 ‎威爾希爾大人 ‎我不知道你為何跟我開玩笑 284 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,762 ‎我聽說你似乎覺得我 ‎有令人討厭的愚昧 285 00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:34,308 ‎正好相反,納瑟菲爾小姐 ‎我覺得妳有令人欣喜的傻氣 286 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,437 ‎(三小時後) 287 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,814 ‎天啊,傑弗里,你來了 288 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:45,194 ‎-當然,我親愛的艾蒂絲 ‎-可是有好多鳥巢 289 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:48,614 ‎我還會越過納瑟菲爾之巢一千次 290 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,282 ‎只為了來到妳的巢 291 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,702 ‎我渴望這一刻的到來 ‎已經有15個漫長的冬季了 292 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,038 ‎以及一個令人驚訝的短暫春季 293 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,791 ‎那我們就不該再浪費任何時間 294 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,086 ‎(完結) 295 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,880 ‎好性感 296 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:09,760 ‎妳要我忽視妳15年 297 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:12,179 ‎然後在妳的喙上輕吻一下? 298 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,556 ‎不是,跟輕吻無關 299 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,394 ‎而是建立慾望、渴望與激情 300 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,271 ‎你難道不驚訝 ‎威爾希爾大人最後出現了? 301 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,942 ‎我只是很困惑 ‎因為他跟莊汀頓小姐有婚約 302 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:27,194 ‎但在亨尼潘勒女伯爵的夏季秋分… 303 00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:30,447 ‎你根本不懂,我只是想要有驚喜 304 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,533 ‎抱歉,也許那麼想很傻 305 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:35,995 ‎(BBC,稍後) 306 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,913 ‎(《理性遷徙》) 307 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,626 ‎(內臟攪拌機) 308 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,922 ‎我整天看別人排隊買三明治 309 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,342 ‎換我來排隊還真酷 310 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,106 ‎我通常不會跟別人談論工作 311 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,109 ‎不過我卻覺得可以告訴妳 ‎我最瘋狂的想法 312 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,987 ‎例如,把冷切肉存放在抽屜裡 313 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:15,409 ‎那是非常好的想法,很實際又美味 314 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,083 ‎但我不喜歡這個想法,而且很髒 ‎快看,輪到我們了 315 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,793 ‎嘿 316 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,849 ‎-好… ‎-想做嗎? 317 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,434 ‎天啊,冷靜點 318 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:44,980 ‎-所以不想做? ‎-妳整晚都表現得很瘋狂 319 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,149 ‎我都儘量配合,嘗試跟妳交談 320 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,901 ‎可是妳喜怒無常 321 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,153 ‎很美的胸部 ‎但我不知道妳是怎麼回事 322 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,071 ‎只是… 323 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:55,449 ‎我辦不到 324 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,704 ‎(搞什麼鳥?快打下來) 325 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,667 ‎抱歉 326 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,378 ‎提醒所有遊客,不論何時 327 00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,090 ‎都請勿把手、腳、喙、胸 ‎伸出遊樂設施之外,謝謝 328 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:12,174 ‎(要離開了?) 329 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,893 ‎嘶… 330 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,605 ‎(還好嗎?) 331 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,108 ‎(忙著辦事嗎?嘿嘿) 332 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,735 ‎-嘶… ‎-搞什麼? 333 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:05,686 ‎“我最親愛的塞繆爾 ‎我現在已經112歲了 334 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:09,148 ‎我雙腿間仍然渴望著你羽毛般的環抱 335 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:13,026 ‎我等待著你回到海鸚高地的那一天” 336 00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:18,991 ‎艾格莎,我不該離開妳的 337 00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:29,209 ‎那確實是很理性的遷徙 338 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,629 ‎接下來在英國鳥類頻道 ‎我們將進行脫口秀 339 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,089 ‎《真是典型的艾德》 340 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,175 ‎然後在下午茶時間請收看 341 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,303 ‎《為可怕小孩設的杏仁糖小姐學校》 342 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,889 ‎接著將播報七小時的世界新聞 343 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:48,770 ‎圖卡,妳是我見過最大聲的巨嘴鳥 ‎我很愛慕妳 344 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:53,108 ‎我對你懷有最熱烈的激情 ‎親愛的熟食店男大人 345 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,110 ‎你真的很有吸引力 346 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,331 ‎(西點彼德法式烘焙坊 ‎垂涎欲滴獎得主) 347 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,791 ‎就說… 348 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,086 ‎“你好嗎?西點彼德 ‎還記得你曾經想僱用我嗎? 349 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:16,465 ‎我在休息 ‎琢磨可以變化蝴蝶圈餅的做法 350 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,258 ‎要是我們能一起烤 351 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,552 ‎那就太棒了,跟我聯絡…” 352 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,805 ‎為何我獨處時能夠這麼酷? 353 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,937 ‎我的天,真是太好吃了 354 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:32,814 ‎圖卡? 355 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,111 ‎那絕對不是她的嬌喘 356 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,447 ‎這是我的悲鳴 357 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:48,121 ‎懼高…別掉下來… 358 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,332 ‎怎麼回事?圖卡 359 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,459 ‎-我把約會搞砸了 ‎-什麼? 360 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:56,129 ‎-我敢說肯定沒有妳想像的那麼糟 ‎-我撐陽傘去赴約 361 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,256 ‎有趣又古怪 362 00:20:57,339 --> 00:21:00,008 ‎我在螢光蟲展覽中開燈 363 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,553 ‎-會場太暗了 ‎-我搭內臟攪拌機時,露出我的胸部 364 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,639 ‎-無拘無束而且… ‎-露了兩次 365 00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:07,391 ‎不好了 366 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,850 ‎我還未準備好面對今晚 367 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,270 ‎我從未在神智清醒時去約會 368 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,771 ‎該死 369 00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,856 ‎這是妳戒癮之後的初次約會? 370 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,858 ‎對,我喝醉時,約會變得容易許多 371 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,027 ‎喝…吻… 372 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,737 ‎醉…爽… 373 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,114 ‎吐…妳懂吧? 374 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:24,241 ‎-懂 ‎-可是現在… 375 00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:28,328 ‎現在我覺得自己毫無遮蔽 ‎不知道該如何自處 376 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:31,540 ‎在熟食店輕微調情 ‎我能應付自如,但… 377 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:35,252 ‎但我對妳施壓,我以為妳愛上他了 378 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,421 ‎“愛上他?”我連他的名字都不曉得 379 00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,506 ‎我整晚都叫他熟食店男 380 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:42,259 ‎我不斷傳訊息告訴妳我的感受… 381 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:46,054 ‎我完全誤解妳傳的所有訊息 382 00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:47,931 ‎抱歉,我造成妳這麼大的壓力 383 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:51,143 ‎我一直煩惱著我自己的問題 ‎原諒我,好嗎? 384 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:52,644 ‎還用說嗎? 385 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:57,816 ‎-性愛書沒有幫助? ‎-沒有,但不光是性愛的問題 386 00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,902 ‎或是斯貝克的問題 ‎是…我也說不出到底是什麼 387 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,739 ‎我愛斯貝克,我有份好工作 388 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,198 ‎我不懂自己少了什麼 389 00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:10,787 ‎-嘿,至少景色很棒 ‎-對,沒錯 390 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:15,667 ‎嘿 391 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,468 ‎來不及了… 392 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:25,719 ‎(遲到) 393 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:29,222 ‎我為何看時間?我沒有時間去看 394 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:33,060 ‎那是陰毛嗎? 395 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,689 ‎“納瑟菲爾莊園就在妳所站之處 396 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,025 ‎激情在遙遠的土地上靜候著” 397 00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:41,318 ‎什麼? 398 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:44,905 ‎“納瑟菲爾廣場是傑弗里道別之處 399 00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:47,616 ‎快點,走出門,到讓妳驚訝的地方” 400 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:52,037 ‎《納瑟菲爾之巢》 401 00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:55,999 ‎(冰塊,六個冬季過去) 402 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,918 ‎真難以置信 403 00:22:58,126 --> 00:23:02,130 ‎(更多冬季,冰淇淋 ‎放心,我會把冰淇淋放回去) 404 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,633 ‎斯貝克,我的屁股露出來了 405 00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:08,762 ‎柏蒂小姐 ‎納瑟菲爾之巢再也無法將我們分開 406 00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:10,597 ‎我們不該再浪費任何時間 407 00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:13,225 ‎不行,窗戶 408 00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:14,559 ‎安靜,我的小姐 409 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:20,107 ‎妳的臀部美極了 ‎整個王國都該見到才對 410 00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:26,655 ‎嘶… 411 00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:31,743 ‎-謝謝你這麼做 ‎-我什麼都願意為妳做,我的小姐 412 00:23:32,035 --> 00:23:33,036 ‎不好了 413 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:41,294 ‎我將死於痢疾 ‎唯一能拯救我的辦法就是上床 414 00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:49,594 ‎-糟糕 ‎-這就是生命的美妙之處 415 00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:53,056 ‎如同沙漠中的花朵、晴空中的小雨 416 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:54,683 ‎驚喜比比皆是 417 00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:57,978 ‎我們最喜愛的一對恩愛鳥 418 00:23:58,061 --> 00:24:00,272 ‎重新找回對彼此的激情 419 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,189 ‎可以看見他們… 420 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:05,402 ‎我對天發誓,妮可拉 ‎要是妳的早餐甘藍冷掉了… 421 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:07,571 ‎媽,我晚點會吃 422 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,782 ‎妳知道自己是個變態吧? 423 00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:15,912 ‎天啊…我愛死偷看鳥了 424 00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:08,131 ‎字幕翻譯:黃琪芳