1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,718
[theme music plays]
2
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:13,388
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪
3
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:17,434
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪
4
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,062
♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie
Bertie & Tuca and Tuca & Bertie ♪
5
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:20,979
♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪
6
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,858
-♪ Tuca ♪
-♪ And Bertie ♪
7
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,777
[both vocalize]
8
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,165
[theme song ends]
9
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,879
[bongo drums play]
10
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,591
-[bicycle bell rings]
-[Tuca hums]
11
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,678
♪ Baby Bertie, Bertie baby
Bay-Ber bee-tee ♪
12
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,347
-[giggles]
-You are going to love this place.
13
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,683
The deli guy is so hot.
14
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:01,478
Girl, when he splashes
that vinegar... Mm, God damn!
15
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,855
-[screams]
-I love when you get a new crush!
16
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:07,276
-I'm crushin' hard, girl!
-[scream continues]
17
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,736
-My lunch!
-Uh, here you go.
18
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:14,283
He's so cool, he's like a crunchy leaf
of lettuce on a sweet-ass tomato.
19
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,034
So exciting! Ah!
20
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,286
Just imagine.
21
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:20,122
Maybe someday he'll throw you
on the back of his motorcycle,
22
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,708
which he always drives
within five miles of the speed limit,
23
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,585
and whisk you away to the desert
24
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,504
where you'll meet a whole community
of sandwich artists.
25
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,215
You'll build a life out there,
isolated from society,
26
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,925
but not too far from a hospital.
27
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,303
One night,
when everyone's laughing and talking,
28
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,723
you all unleash your desires
and kiss as one!
29
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,685
Finally, the intersection of passion
and safety overflows
30
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,105
until your bodies
transcend the limits of pleasure!
31
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,232
[pants] Whoo!
32
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,900
Girl, you horny as shit!
33
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,987
-Speckle not puttin' out?
-No, Speckle's puttin' in.
34
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:55,324
Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45 p.m.
35
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,868
Ever since we moved in together
and work's gotten really busy,
36
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,120
my life has fallen into kind of a routine.
37
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,498
It's like I know exactly
what's gonna happen later.
38
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,083
Speckle will come home,
39
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:08,170
toss his jacket on the couch, his keys
will fall out, and he'll go, "Oops."
40
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,796
Then he'll give me a peck on the beak,
41
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:14,092
and we'll make out for exactly two minutes
before he grabs my left boob.
42
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,719
[Tuca] Excellent choice of boob.
43
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,971
[Bertie] He'll brush his teeth
while I grab the condoms,
44
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,349
and I'll briefly think,
"I should go back on birth control,
45
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,100
but, nah, it makes me crazy!"
46
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,604
Then it's missionary, quickie doggie,
even quicker missionary.
47
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:29,691
You guys should try "the Woodpecker."
It's not what it sounds like. It's worse.
48
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,235
-[chuckles]
-[laughs] Oh! There he is.
49
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,737
[gibbers]
50
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,821
[woman screams]
51
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:38,575
Huh, he's reckless
and has no spatial awareness.
52
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,535
He's perfect for you!
53
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:43,580
You can feel the electricity
between us, right? [giggles]
54
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,250
-[R&B music plays]
-[electricity crackles]
55
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,753
[grunts] Okey-dokey, all done.
56
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,256
Now the electricity
is safely inside the electricity tubes.
57
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,133
-[dings]
-Number 72!
58
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,301
Hey, that's us!
59
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,679
Get on up there and work your Tuca magic.
60
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,180
Uh....
61
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,932
Siete y dos.
62
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,976
-Uh...
-Why are you being so weird?
63
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,104
Just hit him
with that confident Tuca swagger.
64
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,106
Do what you did with that bartender
in Mooseville.
65
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,154
Or what you did with that lead singer
from Molted Feathers.
66
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,407
[rock music plays]
67
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,491
[mic feedback rings]
68
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,493
[crowd cheers]
69
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,995
Or that cab driver on spring break.
70
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,289
-[tires screech]
-[screams]
71
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:32,754
Just be that wild, impulsive,
very-scary-at-times Tuca.
72
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,756
Okay, yeah. That's still me.
73
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,510
-[stutters] I'm number 72.
-Oh, hey.
74
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,887
Double salami with extra salami,
hold the bread?
75
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,597
[gasps] He remembers me.
76
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,142
[electricity crackles]
77
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,560
-[screams]
-[gasps]
78
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,520
Whoa. Her bones came out.
79
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,397
-[barks]
-Um, wow.
80
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,065
Uh, so sorry about this.
81
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,483
[grunts] Scram!
82
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,152
-[barks]
-[chuckles]
83
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,988
Bone-jour. [chuckles]
84
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,906
-Bones. So many.
-[gibbers]
85
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,493
Anyhoo, my friend was hoping
to get your number.
86
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,245
Oh, I don't deliver.
87
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,456
No, she likes you.
88
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,665
Whoa! Sure!
89
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,542
Thanks.
90
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,920
And here's a pickle for the road.
Stay cool and be yourself.
91
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,464
Ooh, pickle?
92
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,302
Hmm.
93
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:25,098
"Hot Mating Dances You Can Do At Home."
94
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,309
-[ragtime music plays]
-Oh, yeah! Come get it, zaddy!
95
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,102
[pants] I wanna taste you!
96
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,813
-I don't know about this one, Internet.
-[door opens]
97
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,315
-[screams]
-Oh, yeah, big boy.
98
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,232
Hey, baby.
99
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,067
-Uh, hi!
-Oops.
100
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:41,323
[narrator] Here we see the male robin
and female song thrush
101
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,742
in their long-term cohabitation
102
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:48,163
attempting to transition
into an established mating ritual.
103
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:52,209
Unique to the male robin of this region
is his uncanny ability
104
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,378
to wait precisely two minutes
after first contact
105
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,798
before grasping
the left breast of his mate.
106
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,677
But wait. What's this?
107
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,805
I can't believe this.
108
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:08,767
Why, no one has ever seen
the male robin do this in the wild before.
109
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:13,522
Look close: the female song thrush
ripe with anticipation.
110
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,109
Oh, so close!
111
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:21,238
In the infinite battle
between nature and nurture,
112
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,740
sometimes there are no winners.
113
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,869
Oh, boy, I loves me some bird watching!
114
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:32,999
[woman] Nicola, stop peeping and come eat
your sheep pudding and smashy peas!
115
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,334
Mum!
116
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:38,797
Hey, maybe we could try
something different tonight?
117
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,965
Huh?
118
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,635
What if you, I don't know,
ordered me around?
119
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,638
Ooh, you mean, like, role play?
120
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:47,639
[growls]
121
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,557
Yeah.
122
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,352
Sure. You wanna talk it out
or, like, choose a safe word first?
123
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,603
How about "hot potato"?
124
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,230
Mm, no, that's too sexy.
125
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,065
Maybe "warm potato"?
126
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,775
Nah! Let's just jump right into it.
127
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,652
It's, like, whatever, you know?
[chuckles]
128
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,153
Okay. Uh, let's see.
129
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,615
Maybe something like...
bend over, you little tart.
130
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,909
Whoa! Ooh... okay.
131
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,244
-[thwack]
-[Speckle grunts]
132
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,288
You need to be punished.
133
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,706
[laughs]
134
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,041
-You've been a very bad bird.
-[groans]
135
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:18,044
And now I'm very disappointed in you.
Bad bird, bad!
136
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,088
But... but I'm a good bird.
137
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,340
Oh, you want me to think you're good,
138
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,634
but you're a filthy little bird,
aren't you?
139
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,012
-No, I'm not.
-Whoa. Oh, my God!
140
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,096
Uh, are you crying?
141
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,639
-Please don't cry.
-[bawls]
142
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,891
Oh, my God! Oh, no!
143
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,225
No, it was just pretend.
144
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:35,061
-Warm potato! Warm potato!
-I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm...
145
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,772
-[bawls]
-Shh.
146
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,232
Come on... Oh, my God. No.
147
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,902
I didn't think I'd react this way.
[chuckles]
148
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,445
-What the hell?
-[chuckles]
149
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,239
Maybe this was
just a lot to jump into, huh?
150
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,116
Yeah, you're right.
151
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,826
I'm sorry I made it weird.
152
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,495
Maybe we can just do it
the usual way tonight?
153
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,832
Oh, yeah!
I'm gonna go brush my teeth real quick.
154
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,752
[chants] Usual way!
Usual way! Usual way!
155
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,515
[Bertie] You should just call him.
156
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,726
You have his number.
What's the big deal?
157
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,353
I mean, like, if you don't call him,
158
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,230
he's just gonna be taking up space
in your head like a sexy tumor.
159
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:22,859
Oh, you really putting me
in a package with this deli guy.
160
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,319
Right! The deli guy.
161
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,404
Who you're gonna go out with, right?
162
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,532
Uh, I'm gonna read this book now
'cause, uh...
163
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:33,536
I love books, and this, this is the book
I've been meaning to read, so...
164
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,704
-[chuckles]
-Hmm.
165
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,414
Hmm, yes.
166
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,501
"Crop rotation grew popular
in the 18th century."
167
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,880
Yeah, yeah. Get it, Europe.
168
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,507
Rotate those crops.
169
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,262
[Bertie] Hmm.
170
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:52,973
Ugh!
171
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,225
What?
172
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,521
Wait. [gasps] Here we go!
173
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,608
-Nice!
-[screams]
174
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,486
Hot Sex for Agreeable People,
you'll love that one.
175
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,113
I don't always agree with it.
176
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:11,950
Oral History of Oral Orioles and Areolas
is a quick read.
177
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,494
-Shh!
-Do not leave your number in that book.
178
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,288
-Tuca...
-Oh! And this one, I wrote.
179
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,040
-[Bertie] Wow!
-[Tuca] Mm-hmm.
180
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,667
-That's good. That's me.
-[man] Tuca!
181
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,462
What'd I tell you about spending
too long in the erotica section?
182
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,548
Get off my shit, Jeremy!
183
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,717
What are you gonna do
on your date with the deli guy?
184
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,636
[gasps] You should take him
to the glow worm exhibit.
185
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,596
Or wait!
Maybe the amusement park.
186
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,099
Or... you, me, and Speckle
can go to the movies.
187
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,976
I love being the third wheel.
188
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,812
The third wheel was an important addition
to the sulky plow,
189
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,481
which spread through Eastern Europe
in the 19th century.
190
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:46,901
Wait a second. You're nervous!
191
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,863
You must, like, like him, like him.
192
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,115
That's why you're being so weird.
193
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,074
Uh...
194
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,578
-♪ Tuca's in love ♪
-Stop. Fine, I'll call him, okay?
195
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,289
Hey, Jeremy,
ring Bertie up for this book
196
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,875
for horny people
who don't know how to have sex.
197
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,126
-You got it.
-Tuca!
198
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,260
♪ Going on a date
Now I'm in the zone ♪
199
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:16,431
♪ It'll be so hot, we'll totally bone ♪
200
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,850
You sound pitchy.
201
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,770
O-kay.
202
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,190
Looking like a whole snack out here.
203
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,693
Maybe snacks are responsible
for those thick-ass legs.
204
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:29,611
What the bitch?
205
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,739
Are you just saying
my deepest fears and insecurities?
206
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,533
I'm a mirror, ho.
I just call it like I see it.
207
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:38,078
And that beak of yours? Huge.
208
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:41,164
"Trying on outfit" montages
are supposed to be fun.
209
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,545
-Ugh! No!
-[glass shatters]
210
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,964
Uh, no.
211
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,133
Uh, hell no!
212
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,970
I never wear makeup, but a first date
seems like a great time to start.
213
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,264
Let's just get a little contour going.
214
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,477
-Yeah, cake that shit on, you dumb shrew.
-Damn, who made this mirror?
215
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,897
Mirror sales are down here
at Mean Mirror Incorporated,
216
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,690
you incompetent pieces of shit!
217
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,151
How about we make the mirrors nice?
218
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:11,569
God damn it, Carol!
219
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,239
If you weren't my own daughter,
I'd fire your ass right now!
220
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,198
[groans]
221
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,577
Shit, this beak concealer is powerful.
222
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,371
Oops. Too much.
223
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,959
[laughing]
224
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,211
[cheering]
225
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,174
Oh, Tuca...
226
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,097
[Bertie] Bleh!
227
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,100
Oh.
228
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,769
[gasps] Bleh!
229
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,063
[whimpers]
230
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:52,443
Phew!
231
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,615
[screams]
232
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,117
[shouts]
233
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:02,704
[exclaims]
234
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,081
[pants] Woo!
235
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,960
"Get to know your partner's desires.
236
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:12,213
For example,
enjoy a pornographic film together."
237
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,339
Hmm.
238
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,924
-[Holland] Bertie!
-[exclaims]!
239
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,467
Did you get that message I sent?
240
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:18,970
-[mouse clicks]
-[moos]
241
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,221
-Ha.
-[chuckles]
242
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,848
Improving morale. Bye!
243
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,392
[whispers] It's Tuesday.
244
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:31,691
Tuca?
245
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,776
[sensual music plays]
246
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,281
Okay, Tuca, be cool.
247
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,868
-[hisses]
-Woo!
248
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,039
Whoa! Sweet entrance.
You caught some air.
249
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,290
Sorry I'm 30 minutes late.
250
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,876
I totally get it
if you just wanna cancel now.
251
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,252
I just got here, too.
252
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,296
Don't wear a watch.
I go by the sun.
253
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,131
Shit, that's cool.
254
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,634
Well, we better get going.
Real packed itinerary.
255
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,178
Worms to watch, rides to ride,
hands to hold...
256
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,056
[stammers]
I mean, you don't need to.
257
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,060
Uh...
258
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,520
-Gah!
-Oops. Sweaty.
259
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,647
[Tuca groans]
260
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,320
[chuckles] So...
261
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,782
just show me what kind of porn
you'd normally click on.
262
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:25,119
Uh, well, this feels like a trap,
263
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:29,332
and I've never shared this
with anyone before
264
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,500
but okay.
265
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,627
Mm.
266
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,046
[knock on door]
267
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:38,841
Maybe that's the pizza I ordered.
268
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,469
It's me, your boyfriend.
I'm moving in.
269
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,180
-[groans]
-[actors moan]
270
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,015
-Okay, baby.
-Ooh!
271
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,559
I love you.
I'm so glad we moved in together.
272
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:51,062
My only regret is not doing it sooner.
273
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,397
I love you.
274
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,815
I'm sorry she's blue!
275
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:57,235
-[cringes] Is that okay?
-Oh, of course.
276
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,028
I love that you can be honest with me.
277
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,364
I love that you can be honest with me.
278
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,074
Ooh, yeah, right there.
279
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,743
I want your full consent to put it here.
280
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,542
Whoa!
281
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,545
This place is romantic.
282
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,838
Fine by me.
283
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:21,009
Or, as we say in the sandwich biz,
fine bánh mi. [chuckles]
284
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,678
Ack! Don't tell me what to do, worms.
285
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,765
Forget those worms.
Look at me.
286
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,936
Uh, we're making noises now?
287
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,526
This is fun!
288
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:41,195
I'm not allowed to whoop
at the deli anymore.
289
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,239
[sighs] You look nice.
290
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:45,992
[sighs]
291
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:50,246
Uh, is it just me
or is it too dark in here?
292
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,332
[all gasp]
293
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,542
Ugh, it's just a bunch of worms!
294
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,378
They're so ugly! [screams]
295
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,130
[woman screams]
296
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:03,343
Why, Mommy? Why? [cries]
297
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,470
Code red, code red!
They've seen the truth!
298
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,389
-[all sigh]
-[camera shutter clicks]
299
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,266
Well, I liked how they looked.
300
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,184
Didn't you?
301
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,728
-[camera shutter clicks]
-Aw. You scared him off, Tuca.
302
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,730
He's cute, he's sweet,
303
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,565
he has access to free ham.
304
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:21,861
Just be a normal, confident toucan woman
with strong legs.
305
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,697
Strong legs!
306
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,407
-[phone buzzes]
-[groans]
307
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,201
[phone whooshes]
308
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,496
[man in video] I made you
some oven fries.
309
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,122
[woman in video moans]
310
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,044
[Tuca groans]
311
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,003
[chuckles]
312
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:41,923
-Ugh!
-[Deli Guy] Hey.
313
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,259
I got you these.
You match these colors.
314
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,428
Wow. Thank you.
315
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,392
Uh, we should go.
316
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:54,060
It's time to go to the amusement park.
317
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,229
I hope you like shoddy safety and barfing.
318
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:02,026
-[sensual music plays]
-[man] You're so sexy.
319
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,404
[horn blares]
320
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,615
Whoa. She's an incredible actress.
321
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,534
I think she could make
the jump to mainstream.
322
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,077
See? I think so, too!
323
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,788
But I get the sense
that she's choosing not to.
324
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,749
[chuckles] Why don't you show me
what you like to watch?
325
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,460
Well... it's not exactly porn,
326
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,588
but have you seen
The Nests of Netherfield?
327
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,132
[keyboard clicks]
328
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,135
[woman] I don't know why
you trifle with me, Lord Wilkshire.
329
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,762
By all accounts,
you seem to find me dreadfully foolish.
330
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:34,016
Why, on the contrary, Lady Netherfield,
I find you delightfully foolish.
331
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:34,934
[gasps]
332
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,815
[Bertie mouths woman's dialogue]
Oh, Geoffrey! You came!
333
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:45,194
-Of course, my sweet Edith.
-But the nests, there are so many!
334
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:48,614
I'd cross the Nests of Netherfield
a thousand times over
335
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,283
to be next to your nest.
336
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,703
I've longed for this moment
for 15 long winters
337
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,038
and one surprisingly short spring.
338
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,916
Then we shan't waste a moment more.
339
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,626
Mwah.
340
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,380
[moans] So hot!
341
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:09,677
So, you want me to ignore you
for 15 years,
342
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,180
then give you a small peck on the beak?
343
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,557
No! It's not about the peck.
344
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,394
It's about the building of desire,
the longing, the passion.
345
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,272
Weren't you surprised when Lord Wilkshire
showed up at the end?
346
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,942
I'm just confused because
he was betrothed to Lady Trottington,
347
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,069
but then at Countess Hennypeather's
summer equinox--
348
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,406
No, you're not getting it!
I think I just want to be surprised.
349
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,617
I'm sorry. Maybe that's dumb.
350
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,914
[classical music plays]
351
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,881
You know, I spend all day looking
at people lining up for sandwiches.
352
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,759
It's cool to wait in line for a change.
353
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,676
[chuckles]
354
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,262
Mm-hmm.
355
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,684
[bear squeaks]
356
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:01,437
[groans]
357
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,981
You know, I don't talk about work stuff
with most people,
358
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:07,109
but I feel like I could tell you
my craziest ideas.
359
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,820
Like, what if you could keep cold cuts
in a desk drawer? [chuckles]
360
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:15,076
[gasps] That's a billion-dollar idea,
both practical and delicious.
361
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,625
But I hate it and it's nasty.
Look, it's our turn!
362
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,877
Hey!
363
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,298
[hydraulics hiss]
364
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,426
[grunt and gibbers]
365
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,303
[riders scream]
366
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,390
-Woo-hoo! [laughs]
-[gibbers]
367
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,849
-Okay...
-Wanna do it?
368
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,309
Whoa, girl. Chill!
369
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,020
So, a "no" to the doing it?
370
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,981
You've been acting crazy all night.
371
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,149
I keep trying to roll with it
and, like, talk to you,
372
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,901
but you're all over the place.
373
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,153
Nice tits, but I don't know
what your deal is.
374
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,071
It's just...
375
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,491
I just can't.
376
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,451
-[gasps]
-[crashes]
377
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,619
[Tuca] Ow!
378
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,126
[cries] I'm sorry!
379
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,421
Reminder to all riders,
please keep your hands, feet,
380
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,090
beaks, and boobs inside the ride
at all times, thank you.
381
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,092
[pants]
382
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,847
[jazz music plays]
383
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,016
[groans]
384
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,893
[hisses]
385
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,318
[groans]
386
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,069
-[hisses]
-What?
387
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:36,866
[slug groans]
388
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,958
[groans]
389
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:05,645
"My dearest Samuel,
I am 112 years old now,
390
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:09,148
and my loins still long
for your feathery bosom.
391
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:13,027
I await the day
you return to Puffin Heights."
392
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,654
[groans]
393
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:19,116
Agatha! I should never have left you!
394
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,077
[groans]
395
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:29,210
[announcer] Well, that was
a very sensible migration indeed.
396
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,630
Next up on British Bird Channel,
we have a bit of a chat on our talk show,
397
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,090
Oh, That's So Edward.
398
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,175
Then tune in at tea-and-biscuits-o'clock
399
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,303
for Miss Marzipan's School
for Horrid, Horrid Children,
400
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,889
-followed by seven hours of world news.
-[snores]
401
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:42,807
Ugh.
402
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:48,771
Tuca, you're the loudest toucan
I've ever chanced upon, and I adore you.
403
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:53,109
And I feel the most ardent about you,
my dear Lord Deli Guy.
404
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,111
You are fine as hell.
405
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,072
[Speckle snores]
406
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:00,908
[sighs]
407
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,285
[snoring continues]
408
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,792
Just say something like...
409
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,003
"What up, Pastry Pete?
Remember that time you offered me a job?
410
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:16,465
I was just chillin', thinkin' up some
new twists for some piggitty-pretzels,
411
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,259
and I thought,
yo, what if we baked together?
412
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,553
That'd be tight!
Hit me up, hit me up, hit me up!"
413
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,848
Why am I so much cooler
when I'm by myself?
414
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,559
Mm, mm.
415
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,478
Oh, my God, that's delicious.
416
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,856
[Tuca moans]
417
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,984
-Tuca?
-[moaning continues]
418
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,028
That's definitely not her sex moan.
419
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,989
[Tuca] This is my sad moan.
420
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,825
[moaning continues]
421
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:48,038
Scared of heights, scared of heights.
Don't fall, don't fall.
422
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,332
Tuca, what happened?
423
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,460
-I screwed up the date.
-What?
424
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,462
I bet it wasn't as bad as you think.
425
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,173
-I showed up with a parasol.
-Fun and quirky.
426
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,633
I turned on the lights
at the glow worm exhibit.
427
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,135
It's too dark in there.
428
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:05,055
-I flashed my boobs on the Gut Scrambler.
-Uninhibited and--
429
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,057
-Twice.
-Oh, no.
430
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,851
I wasn't ready for tonight.
431
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,228
I've never not been drunk
on a date before.
432
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,688
Oh, shit.
433
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,857
Was this your first date
since you've been sober?
434
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,942
Yeah, and it was so much easier
when I drank.
435
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,111
Glug, glug, glug.
Smooch, smooch, smooch.
436
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,738
Blur, blur, blur. Bang, bang.
437
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,573
-Barf, barf, you know?
-Oh.
438
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,241
But now... [gulps]
439
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:28,329
Now I feel so exposed.
I don't know how to be.
440
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:31,415
I mean, I was cool
with some light deli flirting, but then...
441
00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,042
But then I pressured you.
442
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,252
Ugh! I thought you were in love with him.
443
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:37,421
In love with him?
I don't even know his name.
444
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,507
I've been calling him "Deli Guy"
all night.
445
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,675
I kept trying to text you
how I felt, and--
446
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:45,805
Ugh! I completely misinterpreted
all of your texts.
447
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:47,932
I'm sorry I pushed you so hard.
448
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:51,143
I've been so caught up in my own issues.
Forgive me?
449
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,187
-Duh!
-[chuckles]
450
00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:56,232
-So, the sex book didn't help?
-[laughs] Nope.
451
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,400
But it's not just the sex, or Speckle.
452
00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,778
It's just...
I can't quite put my finger on it.
453
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,572
I mean, I love Speckle.
I have a good job.
454
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,199
I don't know what I'm missing.
455
00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:08,744
Hey, at least this is nice, though.
456
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,788
Yeah, it is.
457
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:16,043
-Woo! Hey!
-[laughs]
458
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,549
[rooster crows]
459
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,468
Running late, running late.
460
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,096
Why did I check the time?
461
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,515
I don't have time to check. [growls]
462
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,018
Are those pubes?
463
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:37,648
"Netherfield Manor is where you now stand.
464
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:39,984
Passion awaits in a faraway land."
465
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:40,901
What?
466
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,780
"Netherfield Place,
where Geoffrey bid goodbye.
467
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,616
Quick, step out the door
where you'll be surprised."
468
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:48,701
[gasps]
469
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,871
The Nests of Netherfield!
470
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:53,414
Ooh!
471
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,125
[laughs]
472
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,585
I can't believe this!
473
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:02,256
-[Speckle grunts]
-[squeal and laughs]
474
00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:04,633
Speckle, my butt's showing!
475
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:08,637
Lady Bertie, the Nests of Netherfield
will keep us apart no more.
476
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,598
We shan't waste a moment longer.
477
00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:11,765
-Ha!
-[exclaims]
478
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,225
No! The window!
479
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,602
Shh, my lady.
480
00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:19,899
Your posterior is marvelous,
and the whole kingdom shall'th see it!
481
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:26,655
[hissing]
482
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:31,744
-Thank you for this.
-Anything for you, my lady.
483
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:34,330
-Oh, no. [groans, coughs]
-[Bertie gasps]
484
00:23:34,705 --> 00:23:38,918
I'm dying of dysentery,
and the only cure is...
485
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:41,295
doing it.
486
00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:43,380
[both laugh]
487
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:44,840
[both moan]
488
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,967
-[Bertie gasps] Oh, no!
-[laughs]
489
00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:49,470
[Nicola] And such is the beauty of life.
490
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:53,015
Like flowers in the desert
or rain on a cloudless day,
491
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,600
surprises abound.
492
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:57,978
And so, our favorite lovebirds
find themselves
493
00:23:58,062 --> 00:24:00,272
enwrapped with passion once again.
494
00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:01,231
You see as they--
495
00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:03,192
[Nicola's mother]
I swear to heavens, Nicola,
496
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,277
if your breakfast cabbage gets cold...
497
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,571
Mum, I'll eat it later!
498
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,741
You know you're a bloody pervert, right?
499
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:15,496
Eh... Boy, oh, boy,
do I love bird-peepin'.
500
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:58,580
[grunts]
501
00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:00,916
[grunts snd gibbers]
502
00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:14,304
[chittering, barking]
503
00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:17,474
[man] Boxer versus raptor,
na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na!