1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,718 [theme music plays] 2 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:13,388 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪ 3 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:17,434 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪ 4 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Bertie & Tuca and Tuca & Bertie ♪ 5 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:20,979 ♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪ 6 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,858 -♪ Tuca ♪ -♪ And Bertie ♪ 7 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,777 [both vocalize] 8 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,165 [theme song ends] 9 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,879 [bongo drums play] 10 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,591 -[bicycle bell rings] -[Tuca hums] 11 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,678 ♪ Baby Bertie, Bertie baby Bay-Ber bee-tee ♪ 12 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,347 -[giggles] -You are going to love this place. 13 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,683 The deli guy is so hot. 14 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:01,478 Girl, when he splashes that vinegar... Mm, God damn! 15 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,855 -[screams] -I love when you get a new crush! 16 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:07,276 -I'm crushin' hard, girl! -[scream continues] 17 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,736 -My lunch! -Uh, here you go. 18 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:14,283 He's so cool, he's like a crunchy leaf of lettuce on a sweet-ass tomato. 19 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,034 So exciting! Ah! 20 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,286 Just imagine. 21 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:20,122 Maybe someday he'll throw you on the back of his motorcycle, 22 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,708 which he always drives within five miles of the speed limit, 23 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,585 and whisk you away to the desert 24 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,504 where you'll meet a whole community of sandwich artists. 25 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,215 You'll build a life out there, isolated from society, 26 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,925 but not too far from a hospital. 27 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,303 One night, when everyone's laughing and talking, 28 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,723 you all unleash your desires and kiss as one! 29 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,685 Finally, the intersection of passion and safety overflows 30 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,105 until your bodies transcend the limits of pleasure! 31 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,232 [pants] Whoo! 32 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,900 Girl, you horny as shit! 33 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,987 -Speckle not puttin' out? -No, Speckle's puttin' in. 34 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:55,324 Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45 p.m. 35 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,868 Ever since we moved in together and work's gotten really busy, 36 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,120 my life has fallen into kind of a routine. 37 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,498 It's like I know exactly what's gonna happen later. 38 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,083 Speckle will come home, 39 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:08,170 toss his jacket on the couch, his keys will fall out, and he'll go, "Oops." 40 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,796 Then he'll give me a peck on the beak, 41 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:14,092 and we'll make out for exactly two minutes before he grabs my left boob. 42 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,719 [Tuca] Excellent choice of boob. 43 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,971 [Bertie] He'll brush his teeth while I grab the condoms, 44 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,349 and I'll briefly think, "I should go back on birth control, 45 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,100 but, nah, it makes me crazy!" 46 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,604 Then it's missionary, quickie doggie, even quicker missionary. 47 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:29,691 You guys should try "the Woodpecker." It's not what it sounds like. It's worse. 48 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,235 -[chuckles] -[laughs] Oh! There he is. 49 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,737 [gibbers] 50 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,821 [woman screams] 51 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:38,575 Huh, he's reckless and has no spatial awareness. 52 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,535 He's perfect for you! 53 00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:43,580 You can feel the electricity between us, right? [giggles] 54 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,250 -[R&B music plays] -[electricity crackles] 55 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,753 [grunts] Okey-dokey, all done. 56 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,256 Now the electricity is safely inside the electricity tubes. 57 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,133 -[dings] -Number 72! 58 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,301 Hey, that's us! 59 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,679 Get on up there and work your Tuca magic. 60 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,180 Uh.... 61 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,932 Siete y dos. 62 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,976 -Uh... -Why are you being so weird? 63 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,104 Just hit him with that confident Tuca swagger. 64 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,106 Do what you did with that bartender in Mooseville. 65 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,154 Or what you did with that lead singer from Molted Feathers. 66 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,407 [rock music plays] 67 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,491 [mic feedback rings] 68 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,493 [crowd cheers] 69 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,995 Or that cab driver on spring break. 70 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,289 -[tires screech] -[screams] 71 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:32,754 Just be that wild, impulsive, very-scary-at-times Tuca. 72 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,756 Okay, yeah. That's still me. 73 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,510 -[stutters] I'm number 72. -Oh, hey. 74 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,887 Double salami with extra salami, hold the bread? 75 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,597 [gasps] He remembers me. 76 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,142 [electricity crackles] 77 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,560 -[screams] -[gasps] 78 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,520 Whoa. Her bones came out. 79 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,397 -[barks] -Um, wow. 80 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,065 Uh, so sorry about this. 81 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,483 [grunts] Scram! 82 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,152 -[barks] -[chuckles] 83 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,988 Bone-jour. [chuckles] 84 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,906 -Bones. So many. -[gibbers] 85 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,493 Anyhoo, my friend was hoping to get your number. 86 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,245 Oh, I don't deliver. 87 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,456 No, she likes you. 88 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,665 Whoa! Sure! 89 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,542 Thanks. 90 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,920 And here's a pickle for the road. Stay cool and be yourself. 91 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,464 Ooh, pickle? 92 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,302 Hmm. 93 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:25,098 "Hot Mating Dances You Can Do At Home." 94 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,309 -[ragtime music plays] -Oh, yeah! Come get it, zaddy! 95 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,102 [pants] I wanna taste you! 96 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,813 -I don't know about this one, Internet. -[door opens] 97 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,315 -[screams] -Oh, yeah, big boy. 98 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,232 Hey, baby. 99 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,067 -Uh, hi! -Oops. 100 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:41,323 [narrator] Here we see the male robin and female song thrush 101 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,742 in their long-term cohabitation 102 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:48,163 attempting to transition into an established mating ritual. 103 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:52,209 Unique to the male robin of this region is his uncanny ability 104 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,378 to wait precisely two minutes after first contact 105 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,798 before grasping the left breast of his mate. 106 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,677 But wait. What's this? 107 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,805 I can't believe this. 108 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:08,767 Why, no one has ever seen the male robin do this in the wild before. 109 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:13,522 Look close: the female song thrush ripe with anticipation. 110 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,109 Oh, so close! 111 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:21,238 In the infinite battle between nature and nurture, 112 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,740 sometimes there are no winners. 113 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,869 Oh, boy, I loves me some bird watching! 114 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:32,999 [woman] Nicola, stop peeping and come eat your sheep pudding and smashy peas! 115 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,334 Mum! 116 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:38,797 Hey, maybe we could try something different tonight? 117 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,965 Huh? 118 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,635 What if you, I don't know, ordered me around? 119 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,638 Ooh, you mean, like, role play? 120 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:47,639 [growls] 121 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,557 Yeah. 122 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,352 Sure. You wanna talk it out or, like, choose a safe word first? 123 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,603 How about "hot potato"? 124 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,230 Mm, no, that's too sexy. 125 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,065 Maybe "warm potato"? 126 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,775 Nah! Let's just jump right into it. 127 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,652 It's, like, whatever, you know? [chuckles] 128 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,153 Okay. Uh, let's see. 129 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,615 Maybe something like... bend over, you little tart. 130 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,909 Whoa! Ooh... okay. 131 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,244 -[thwack] -[Speckle grunts] 132 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,288 You need to be punished. 133 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,706 [laughs] 134 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,041 -You've been a very bad bird. -[groans] 135 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:18,044 And now I'm very disappointed in you. Bad bird, bad! 136 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,088 But... but I'm a good bird. 137 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,340 Oh, you want me to think you're good, 138 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,634 but you're a filthy little bird, aren't you? 139 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,012 -No, I'm not. -Whoa. Oh, my God! 140 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,096 Uh, are you crying? 141 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,639 -Please don't cry. -[bawls] 142 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,891 Oh, my God! Oh, no! 143 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,225 No, it was just pretend. 144 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:35,061 -Warm potato! Warm potato! -I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm... 145 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,772 -[bawls] -Shh. 146 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,232 Come on... Oh, my God. No. 147 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,902 I didn't think I'd react this way. [chuckles] 148 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,445 -What the hell? -[chuckles] 149 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,239 Maybe this was just a lot to jump into, huh? 150 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,116 Yeah, you're right. 151 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,826 I'm sorry I made it weird. 152 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,495 Maybe we can just do it the usual way tonight? 153 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,832 Oh, yeah! I'm gonna go brush my teeth real quick. 154 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,752 [chants] Usual way! Usual way! Usual way! 155 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,515 [Bertie] You should just call him. 156 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,726 You have his number. What's the big deal? 157 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,353 I mean, like, if you don't call him, 158 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,230 he's just gonna be taking up space in your head like a sexy tumor. 159 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:22,859 Oh, you really putting me in a package with this deli guy. 160 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,319 Right! The deli guy. 161 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,404 Who you're gonna go out with, right? 162 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,532 Uh, I'm gonna read this book now 'cause, uh... 163 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:33,536 I love books, and this, this is the book I've been meaning to read, so... 164 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,704 -[chuckles] -Hmm. 165 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,414 Hmm, yes. 166 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,501 "Crop rotation grew popular in the 18th century." 167 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,880 Yeah, yeah. Get it, Europe. 168 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,507 Rotate those crops. 169 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,262 [Bertie] Hmm. 170 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:52,973 Ugh! 171 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,225 What? 172 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,521 Wait. [gasps] Here we go! 173 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,608 -Nice! -[screams] 174 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,486 Hot Sex for Agreeable People, you'll love that one. 175 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,113 I don't always agree with it. 176 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:11,950 Oral History of Oral Orioles and Areolas is a quick read. 177 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,494 -Shh! -Do not leave your number in that book. 178 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,288 -Tuca... -Oh! And this one, I wrote. 179 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,040 -[Bertie] Wow! -[Tuca] Mm-hmm. 180 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,667 -That's good. That's me. -[man] Tuca! 181 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,462 What'd I tell you about spending too long in the erotica section? 182 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,548 Get off my shit, Jeremy! 183 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,717 What are you gonna do on your date with the deli guy? 184 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,636 [gasps] You should take him to the glow worm exhibit. 185 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,596 Or wait! Maybe the amusement park. 186 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,099 Or... you, me, and Speckle can go to the movies. 187 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,976 I love being the third wheel. 188 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,812 The third wheel was an important addition to the sulky plow, 189 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,481 which spread through Eastern Europe in the 19th century. 190 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:46,901 Wait a second. You're nervous! 191 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,863 You must, like, like him, like him. 192 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,115 That's why you're being so weird. 193 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,074 Uh... 194 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,578 -♪ Tuca's in love ♪ -Stop. Fine, I'll call him, okay? 195 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,289 Hey, Jeremy, ring Bertie up for this book 196 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,875 for horny people who don't know how to have sex. 197 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,126 -You got it. -Tuca! 198 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,260 ♪ Going on a date Now I'm in the zone ♪ 199 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:16,431 ♪ It'll be so hot, we'll totally bone ♪ 200 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,850 You sound pitchy. 201 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,770 O-kay. 202 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,190 Looking like a whole snack out here. 203 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,693 Maybe snacks are responsible for those thick-ass legs. 204 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:29,611 What the bitch? 205 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,739 Are you just saying my deepest fears and insecurities? 206 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,533 I'm a mirror, ho. I just call it like I see it. 207 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:38,078 And that beak of yours? Huge. 208 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:41,164 "Trying on outfit" montages are supposed to be fun. 209 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,545 -Ugh! No! -[glass shatters] 210 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,964 Uh, no. 211 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,133 Uh, hell no! 212 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,970 I never wear makeup, but a first date seems like a great time to start. 213 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,264 Let's just get a little contour going. 214 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,477 -Yeah, cake that shit on, you dumb shrew. -Damn, who made this mirror? 215 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,897 Mirror sales are down here at Mean Mirror Incorporated, 216 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,690 you incompetent pieces of shit! 217 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,151 How about we make the mirrors nice? 218 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:11,569 God damn it, Carol! 219 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,239 If you weren't my own daughter, I'd fire your ass right now! 220 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,198 [groans] 221 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,577 Shit, this beak concealer is powerful. 222 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,371 Oops. Too much. 223 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,959 [laughing] 224 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,211 [cheering] 225 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,174 Oh, Tuca... 226 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,097 [Bertie] Bleh! 227 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,100 Oh. 228 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,769 [gasps] Bleh! 229 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,063 [whimpers] 230 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:52,443 Phew! 231 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,615 [screams] 232 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,117 [shouts] 233 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:02,704 [exclaims] 234 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,081 [pants] Woo! 235 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,960 "Get to know your partner's desires. 236 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:12,213 For example, enjoy a pornographic film together." 237 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,339 Hmm. 238 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,924 -[Holland] Bertie! -[exclaims]! 239 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,467 Did you get that message I sent? 240 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:18,970 -[mouse clicks] -[moos] 241 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,221 -Ha. -[chuckles] 242 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,848 Improving morale. Bye! 243 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,392 [whispers] It's Tuesday. 244 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:31,691 Tuca? 245 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,776 [sensual music plays] 246 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,281 Okay, Tuca, be cool. 247 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,868 -[hisses] -Woo! 248 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,039 Whoa! Sweet entrance. You caught some air. 249 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,290 Sorry I'm 30 minutes late. 250 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,876 I totally get it if you just wanna cancel now. 251 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,252 I just got here, too. 252 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,296 Don't wear a watch. I go by the sun. 253 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,131 Shit, that's cool. 254 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,634 Well, we better get going. Real packed itinerary. 255 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,178 Worms to watch, rides to ride, hands to hold... 256 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,056 [stammers] I mean, you don't need to. 257 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,060 Uh... 258 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,520 -Gah! -Oops. Sweaty. 259 00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,647 [Tuca groans] 260 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,320 [chuckles] So... 261 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,782 just show me what kind of porn you'd normally click on. 262 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:25,119 Uh, well, this feels like a trap, 263 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:29,332 and I've never shared this with anyone before 264 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,500 but okay. 265 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,627 Mm. 266 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,046 [knock on door] 267 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:38,841 Maybe that's the pizza I ordered. 268 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,469 It's me, your boyfriend. I'm moving in. 269 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,180 -[groans] -[actors moan] 270 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,015 -Okay, baby. -Ooh! 271 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,559 I love you. I'm so glad we moved in together. 272 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:51,062 My only regret is not doing it sooner. 273 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,397 I love you. 274 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,815 I'm sorry she's blue! 275 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:57,235 -[cringes] Is that okay? -Oh, of course. 276 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,028 I love that you can be honest with me. 277 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,364 I love that you can be honest with me. 278 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,074 Ooh, yeah, right there. 279 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,743 I want your full consent to put it here. 280 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,542 Whoa! 281 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,545 This place is romantic. 282 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,838 Fine by me. 283 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:21,009 Or, as we say in the sandwich biz, fine bánh mi. [chuckles] 284 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,678 Ack! Don't tell me what to do, worms. 285 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,765 Forget those worms. Look at me. 286 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,936 Uh, we're making noises now? 287 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,526 This is fun! 288 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:41,195 I'm not allowed to whoop at the deli anymore. 289 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,239 [sighs] You look nice. 290 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:45,992 [sighs] 291 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:50,246 Uh, is it just me or is it too dark in here? 292 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,332 [all gasp] 293 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,542 Ugh, it's just a bunch of worms! 294 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,378 They're so ugly! [screams] 295 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,130 [woman screams] 296 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:03,343 Why, Mommy? Why? [cries] 297 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,470 Code red, code red! They've seen the truth! 298 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,389 -[all sigh] -[camera shutter clicks] 299 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,266 Well, I liked how they looked. 300 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,184 Didn't you? 301 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,728 -[camera shutter clicks] -Aw. You scared him off, Tuca. 302 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,730 He's cute, he's sweet, 303 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,565 he has access to free ham. 304 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:21,861 Just be a normal, confident toucan woman with strong legs. 305 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,697 Strong legs! 306 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,407 -[phone buzzes] -[groans] 307 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,201 [phone whooshes] 308 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,496 [man in video] I made you some oven fries. 309 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,122 [woman in video moans] 310 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,044 [Tuca groans] 311 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,003 [chuckles] 312 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:41,923 -Ugh! -[Deli Guy] Hey. 313 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,259 I got you these. You match these colors. 314 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,428 Wow. Thank you. 315 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,392 Uh, we should go. 316 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:54,060 It's time to go to the amusement park. 317 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,229 I hope you like shoddy safety and barfing. 318 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:02,026 -[sensual music plays] -[man] You're so sexy. 319 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,404 [horn blares] 320 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,615 Whoa. She's an incredible actress. 321 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,534 I think she could make the jump to mainstream. 322 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,077 See? I think so, too! 323 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,788 But I get the sense that she's choosing not to. 324 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,749 [chuckles] Why don't you show me what you like to watch? 325 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,460 Well... it's not exactly porn, 326 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,588 but have you seen The Nests of Netherfield? 327 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,132 [keyboard clicks] 328 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,135 [woman] I don't know why you trifle with me, Lord Wilkshire. 329 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,762 By all accounts, you seem to find me dreadfully foolish. 330 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:34,016 Why, on the contrary, Lady Netherfield, I find you delightfully foolish. 331 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:34,934 [gasps] 332 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,815 [Bertie mouths woman's dialogue] Oh, Geoffrey! You came! 333 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:45,194 -Of course, my sweet Edith. -But the nests, there are so many! 334 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:48,614 I'd cross the Nests of Netherfield a thousand times over 335 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,283 to be next to your nest. 336 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,703 I've longed for this moment for 15 long winters 337 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,038 and one surprisingly short spring. 338 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,916 Then we shan't waste a moment more. 339 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,626 Mwah. 340 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,380 [moans] So hot! 341 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:09,677 So, you want me to ignore you for 15 years, 342 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,180 then give you a small peck on the beak? 343 00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,557 No! It's not about the peck. 344 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,394 It's about the building of desire, the longing, the passion. 345 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,272 Weren't you surprised when Lord Wilkshire showed up at the end? 346 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,942 I'm just confused because he was betrothed to Lady Trottington, 347 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,069 but then at Countess Hennypeather's summer equinox-- 348 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,406 No, you're not getting it! I think I just want to be surprised. 349 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,617 I'm sorry. Maybe that's dumb. 350 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,914 [classical music plays] 351 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,881 You know, I spend all day looking at people lining up for sandwiches. 352 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,759 It's cool to wait in line for a change. 353 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,676 [chuckles] 354 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,262 Mm-hmm. 355 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,684 [bear squeaks] 356 00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:01,437 [groans] 357 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,981 You know, I don't talk about work stuff with most people, 358 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:07,109 but I feel like I could tell you my craziest ideas. 359 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,820 Like, what if you could keep cold cuts in a desk drawer? [chuckles] 360 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:15,076 [gasps] That's a billion-dollar idea, both practical and delicious. 361 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,625 But I hate it and it's nasty. Look, it's our turn! 362 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,877 Hey! 363 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,298 [hydraulics hiss] 364 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,426 [grunt and gibbers] 365 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,303 [riders scream] 366 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,390 -Woo-hoo! [laughs] -[gibbers] 367 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,849 -Okay... -Wanna do it? 368 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,309 Whoa, girl. Chill! 369 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,020 So, a "no" to the doing it? 370 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,981 You've been acting crazy all night. 371 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,149 I keep trying to roll with it and, like, talk to you, 372 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,901 but you're all over the place. 373 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,153 Nice tits, but I don't know what your deal is. 374 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,071 It's just... 375 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,491 I just can't. 376 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,451 -[gasps] -[crashes] 377 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,619 [Tuca] Ow! 378 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,126 [cries] I'm sorry! 379 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,421 Reminder to all riders, please keep your hands, feet, 380 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,090 beaks, and boobs inside the ride at all times, thank you. 381 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,092 [pants] 382 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,847 [jazz music plays] 383 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,016 [groans] 384 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,893 [hisses] 385 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,318 [groans] 386 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,069 -[hisses] -What? 387 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:36,866 [slug groans] 388 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,958 [groans] 389 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:05,645 "My dearest Samuel, I am 112 years old now, 390 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:09,148 and my loins still long for your feathery bosom. 391 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:13,027 I await the day you return to Puffin Heights." 392 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,654 [groans] 393 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:19,116 Agatha! I should never have left you! 394 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,077 [groans] 395 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:29,210 [announcer] Well, that was a very sensible migration indeed. 396 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,630 Next up on British Bird Channel, we have a bit of a chat on our talk show, 397 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,090 Oh, That's So Edward. 398 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,175 Then tune in at tea-and-biscuits-o'clock 399 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,303 for Miss Marzipan's School for Horrid, Horrid Children, 400 00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,889 -followed by seven hours of world news. -[snores] 401 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:42,807 Ugh. 402 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:48,771 Tuca, you're the loudest toucan I've ever chanced upon, and I adore you. 403 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:53,109 And I feel the most ardent about you, my dear Lord Deli Guy. 404 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,111 You are fine as hell. 405 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,072 [Speckle snores] 406 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:00,908 [sighs] 407 00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,285 [snoring continues] 408 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,792 Just say something like... 409 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,003 "What up, Pastry Pete? Remember that time you offered me a job? 410 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:16,465 I was just chillin', thinkin' up some new twists for some piggitty-pretzels, 411 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,259 and I thought, yo, what if we baked together? 412 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,553 That'd be tight! Hit me up, hit me up, hit me up!" 413 00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,848 Why am I so much cooler when I'm by myself? 414 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,559 Mm, mm. 415 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,478 Oh, my God, that's delicious. 416 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,856 [Tuca moans] 417 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,984 -Tuca? -[moaning continues] 418 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,028 That's definitely not her sex moan. 419 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,989 [Tuca] This is my sad moan. 420 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,825 [moaning continues] 421 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:48,038 Scared of heights, scared of heights. Don't fall, don't fall. 422 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,332 Tuca, what happened? 423 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,460 -I screwed up the date. -What? 424 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,462 I bet it wasn't as bad as you think. 425 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,173 -I showed up with a parasol. -Fun and quirky. 426 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,633 I turned on the lights at the glow worm exhibit. 427 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,135 It's too dark in there. 428 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:05,055 -I flashed my boobs on the Gut Scrambler. -Uninhibited and-- 429 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,057 -Twice. -Oh, no. 430 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,851 I wasn't ready for tonight. 431 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,228 I've never not been drunk on a date before. 432 00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,688 Oh, shit. 433 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,857 Was this your first date since you've been sober? 434 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,942 Yeah, and it was so much easier when I drank. 435 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,111 Glug, glug, glug. Smooch, smooch, smooch. 436 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,738 Blur, blur, blur. Bang, bang. 437 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,573 -Barf, barf, you know? -Oh. 438 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,241 But now... [gulps] 439 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:28,329 Now I feel so exposed. I don't know how to be. 440 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:31,415 I mean, I was cool with some light deli flirting, but then... 441 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,042 But then I pressured you. 442 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,252 Ugh! I thought you were in love with him. 443 00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:37,421 In love with him? I don't even know his name. 444 00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,507 I've been calling him "Deli Guy" all night. 445 00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,675 I kept trying to text you how I felt, and-- 446 00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:45,805 Ugh! I completely misinterpreted all of your texts. 447 00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:47,932 I'm sorry I pushed you so hard. 448 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:51,143 I've been so caught up in my own issues. Forgive me? 449 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,187 -Duh! -[chuckles] 450 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:56,232 -So, the sex book didn't help? -[laughs] Nope. 451 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,400 But it's not just the sex, or Speckle. 452 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,778 It's just... I can't quite put my finger on it. 453 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,572 I mean, I love Speckle. I have a good job. 454 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,199 I don't know what I'm missing. 455 00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:08,744 Hey, at least this is nice, though. 456 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,788 Yeah, it is. 457 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:16,043 -Woo! Hey! -[laughs] 458 00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,549 [rooster crows] 459 00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,468 Running late, running late. 460 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,096 Why did I check the time? 461 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,515 I don't have time to check. [growls] 462 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,018 Are those pubes? 463 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:37,648 "Netherfield Manor is where you now stand. 464 00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:39,984 Passion awaits in a faraway land." 465 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:40,901 What? 466 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,780 "Netherfield Place, where Geoffrey bid goodbye. 467 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,616 Quick, step out the door where you'll be surprised." 468 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:48,701 [gasps] 469 00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,871 The Nests of Netherfield! 470 00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:53,414 Ooh! 471 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,125 [laughs] 472 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,585 I can't believe this! 473 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:02,256 -[Speckle grunts] -[squeal and laughs] 474 00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:04,633 Speckle, my butt's showing! 475 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:08,637 Lady Bertie, the Nests of Netherfield will keep us apart no more. 476 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,598 We shan't waste a moment longer. 477 00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:11,765 -Ha! -[exclaims] 478 00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,225 No! The window! 479 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,602 Shh, my lady. 480 00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:19,899 Your posterior is marvelous, and the whole kingdom shall'th see it! 481 00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:26,655 [hissing] 482 00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:31,744 -Thank you for this. -Anything for you, my lady. 483 00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:34,330 -Oh, no. [groans, coughs] -[Bertie gasps] 484 00:23:34,705 --> 00:23:38,918 I'm dying of dysentery, and the only cure is... 485 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:41,295 doing it. 486 00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:43,380 [both laugh] 487 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:44,840 [both moan] 488 00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,967 -[Bertie gasps] Oh, no! -[laughs] 489 00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:49,470 [Nicola] And such is the beauty of life. 490 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:53,015 Like flowers in the desert or rain on a cloudless day, 491 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,600 surprises abound. 492 00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:57,978 And so, our favorite lovebirds find themselves 493 00:23:58,062 --> 00:24:00,272 enwrapped with passion once again. 494 00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:01,231 You see as they-- 495 00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:03,192 [Nicola's mother] I swear to heavens, Nicola, 496 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,277 if your breakfast cabbage gets cold... 497 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,571 Mum, I'll eat it later! 498 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,741 You know you're a bloody pervert, right? 499 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:15,496 Eh... Boy, oh, boy, do I love bird-peepin'. 500 00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:58,580 [grunts] 501 00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:00,916 [grunts snd gibbers] 502 00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:14,304 [chittering, barking] 503 00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:17,474 [man] Boxer versus raptor, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na!