1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,718 [theme music plays] 2 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:13,388 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪ 3 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:17,434 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ♪ 4 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie Bertie & Tuca and Tuca & Bertie ♪ 5 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:20,979 ♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪ 6 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,858 -♪ Tuca ♪ -♪ And Bertie ♪ 7 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,777 [both vocalize] 8 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:48,757 [Bertie] I've been a data processor at Conde Nest for three years. 9 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,551 I'm a really important cog in the machine, 10 00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:53,971 but sometimes I wonder, what would it be like to be a bigger cog? 11 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,682 I'm ready to break out and step the shit up! 12 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,725 I want a promotion! 13 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,937 Uh, I meant, what do you want for breakfast? 14 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,146 Eh! Sorry. 15 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,983 [Tuca] We've got cereal, or eggs, or fish, or cake. 16 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:06,984 Why choose? 17 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,239 Uh... ugh! 18 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:16,535 This position just opened up at work, and the job is perfect for me! 19 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:21,873 -Ooh, what position is it? -Senior operations analyst. 20 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:28,422 It's using statistics to optimize marketing decisions for long-term growth. 21 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,800 [glass shattering] 22 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,386 -Oh, wow! -That sounds great. 23 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,013 You gonna ask your boss about it today? 24 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,600 Well, I'm pretty sure I'm the most qualified. 25 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:42,894 So, you're just gonna hope your boss remembers you exist, reads your mind, 26 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,104 and gives you what you want? 27 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:48,150 That's been my life approach so far, and it's worked... never times. 28 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,068 You should just ask, Bertie. 29 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,863 Asking for what I want is not my style. 30 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,699 But it's okay. I have a plan. 31 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,494 [Bertie] First, I'll dress to impress. 32 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,289 You don't own that, but it looks sharp. 33 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:07,628 Then I'll establish a rapport with my boss by nailing some small talk. 34 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,046 [phones ring] 35 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,132 Work is great, but wouldn't you rather spend the day at the beach? 36 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:16,136 -Aha. Everyone loves the beach. -I work as hard as I "beach"! 37 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,472 -[both laugh] -Good one! 38 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:23,101 Then I'll demonstrate my leadership skills by speaking up in a meeting. 39 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:26,188 Blah, blah, I'm Bertie's dumb, annoying coworker, Dirk. 40 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,066 I wear too much cologne, I pronounce it "ex-specially," 41 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,569 and I usually talk over you, but I just realized I'm a stupid asshole. 42 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,822 [blows raspberry] Now I'm gonna go fuck myself! 43 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,282 Thanks, Dirk. 44 00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,534 I've done the market research. Ka-pow! 45 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,579 If we double down, ba-ba-boom, on media ad sales, 46 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,082 we can improve our revenue by 25 percent. 47 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,124 Confidence! 48 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,334 [cheering] 49 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,504 Bertie, will you be our new senior operations analyst? 50 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,838 Who? Me? 51 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:55,008 -Please, Bertie! Please! -Okay. 52 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,635 Hooray for Bertie! 53 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,137 Here's your maple-walnut latte, Ms. Bertie. 54 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,431 -Yum! -Here's the latest analytics, Ms. Bertie. 55 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,392 -Ooh! -Good morning, Ms. B! 56 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,977 I'm starved. Could you feed me some fresh files? 57 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,980 -Uh... okay. -Yum-yummy! 58 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:11,400 Feed me more files! 59 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:16,655 My hunger restores as I am fed, and I will never be sated! 60 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,740 This is my curse! 61 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,075 Uh... 62 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,702 -Bertie! -Uh, today will go great! 63 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,370 Text me when you get the good news, okay? 64 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,581 And tonight, maybe we can do some celebrating 65 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:31,044 with my big... di-nner idea. 66 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,714 -Two different kinds of oven fries! -Ooh! 67 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,966 Hey, what if I come help you get the promotion? 68 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:41,179 [laughs] That would be so fun, Tuca, but I should probably handle it myself. 69 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:46,143 Aw, okay. But now I'm all pumped to work my Tuca magic and be useful to the world. 70 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,688 Oh, well, why don't you check your ChoreGoose app and do some gigs? 71 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,605 Great idea! 72 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:54,401 I can go above and beyond for some randos while making that money. 73 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,738 Aw, yeah, I'm about to bang out a ton of these gigs today! 74 00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:00,073 Strangers, you're about to get Tuca'd! 75 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,575 [Bertie mumbles] 76 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,497 Boss, boss, where is the boss? 77 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,082 -[air horn blows] -Ah! Hi, Claudette. 78 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,294 You startled me... by being. 79 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,629 -[groans] -[shudders] 80 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,216 All right, switch on the charm. 81 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,886 Operation Small Talk with the Boss has begun. 82 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:26,183 -Hey, Holland! -Oh, good morning, Bertie. 83 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,644 That was some nice weather we had over the weekend, eh? 84 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,522 Uh, just makes you wanna go to the beach. 85 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,899 Did you go to the beach? 86 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,360 Oh, no. I mean, I thought about it, 87 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,988 but it's a long drive and I'm afraid of crabs. 88 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,865 [crows] 89 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,533 You guys talking about the beach? 90 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,660 You gonna catch some waves out there, Holland-dawg? 91 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,412 [laughs] You know it, Dirk! 92 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,414 -All right! -[laughs] 93 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:52,626 Boo-yah! Water sports! Ba-bow! [laughs] 94 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,378 Yeah, sometimes I have nightmares about that part of the ocean 95 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:59,007 where the water gets super dark because it's so deep. [chuckles] 96 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,636 Like, what if there's a giant monster crab down there, waiting to pinch my butt? 97 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,015 I work as hard as I beach! 98 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,809 [groans] Never mind! 99 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:15,065 -Did you see the sport this weekend? -Indeed, I did. Good sport. 100 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,399 [knuckles crack loudly] 101 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:17,901 [goose honks] 102 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,320 [knocking on door] 103 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,906 Hey, upstairs neighbor. I'm here to be your ChoreGoose. 104 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,493 Ah, excellent. Can you take dictation for me, my dear? 105 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,410 Yes, sir! 106 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:34,376 "Dear editor of the Bird Town Gazette, foreseeing increased mobility issues, 107 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:39,673 the black tar potholes on Beak Street have become untenable!" 108 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,218 [driver screams] 109 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,637 [sniffs] 110 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,807 -Did you get that? -Mm-hmm. 111 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,518 "As the owner of a vintage touring bicycle, 112 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:57,148 I am endangered and frankly disturbed by the flippancy of our municipal pavers!" 113 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,483 Got it! 114 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:02,445 "As famed urbanist Elebert Whitscythe once said, 115 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:06,032 'Roads are but the lymphatic system of the city,' 116 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:11,663 so I urge you to repair Bird Town's concrete crevices posthaste! 117 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:16,126 Signed, Dapper T. Dog, Fervent Citizen Velocipede." 118 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,836 Okay, read it back to me. [chuckles] 119 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,087 [clears throat] 120 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,923 "Dear newspaper, potholes suck. 121 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,508 Go jerk off in a lake. 122 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:27,220 Sincerely, Dapper T. Dog, City Velociraptor." 123 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,138 [roars] 124 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,724 What?! What sort of chicanery is afoot? 125 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,642 This is good to go. Mm-hmm. 126 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,853 Surely, this is in jest. [chuckles] 127 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,230 Fresh mail, coming in hot! Hyah! 128 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,648 -Gotcha! -No! 129 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:42,068 Fraudulence! Those weren't my impeccably composed words! 130 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,029 I thought my version was more to the point. 131 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,656 My best friend, Bertie, always likes my editorializing. 132 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,576 -Get out at once! -Yeesh. Okay. 133 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,203 -[sobs] -Now, where's my next gig at? 134 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,919 -[indistinct chatter] -[Bertie] Hmm... 135 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,589 -Hey, what you got there? -Oh, just some ideas. 136 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,592 I was thinking we should be marketing to eagles because-- 137 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,093 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 138 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,013 I've definitely got some cool ideas, too, in terms of my own ideas, yeah. 139 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,640 [surf rock guitar riff plays] 140 00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:12,557 Good morning, all. 141 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,393 Let's get the ball rolling on our marketing strategy for the next month. 142 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,355 -Anybody want to start us off? -Yeah, I've got something here. 143 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,524 I think if you look at the data from this last quarter, it shows that-- 144 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,735 And I'd like to piggyback on what Bertie is saying 145 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:27,906 and add that our audience is expanding, ex-specially in the southeast. 146 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,033 Um, yes, that is true. 147 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,411 -And those areas are-- -Dense with eagles! 148 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,747 And we could, you know, I don't know, target some ads. 149 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,209 I'm thinking, uh, trophy hunting, being on coins, 150 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,710 hair plugs for the bald ones. 151 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,837 -[murmurs of assent] -Hmm... 152 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,839 'Cause, uh, eagles love all that shit. 153 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:45,924 [laughs] 154 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,426 They are quite extreme. Excellent, Dirk. 155 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,220 Bertie, did you have anything to add? 156 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:54,224 -Uh, no. I think Dirk covered it. -Yup. 157 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,107 [screams] Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet! 158 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,609 -Hi, could you keep it down? -Yeah, could you not? 159 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,778 -Meow! -Meow! 160 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:07,904 Sorry. 161 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,160 Cloaca! [echos] 162 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,497 Ooh. 163 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,043 -[sighs] -[door opens] 164 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:26,172 [woman] What's the difference between regular broth and bone broth? 165 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,551 One has extra bones? 166 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,137 -[woman] Duffy, I'm so glad you called. -[door opens, closes] 167 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,097 The best bone farm has been growing bones... 168 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,641 -[sighs] -...for 200 years. 169 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:40,020 [woman chuckles] Of course it's haunted, come on! 170 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,023 [dialing, line rings] 171 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:44,899 Bertie, talk to me. 172 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:49,446 Tuca, this rooster guy I work with is ruining my life today! 173 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,031 Kinda busy with a customer right now, 174 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,075 but text me his photo, and I'll plot his murder the moment I'm free. 175 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,287 -Ah! What are you doing? -Just trimming a bush. 176 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,205 -[Tuca squeals] -What's going on over there? 177 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,624 I'm out here helping people!  Gotta go! [pants] 178 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,837 [woman] I'm telling you, Duffy, the bones just suck up cellulite! 179 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,383 Maybe some women are body positive, but hmm-mmm-mmm, not me! 180 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,468 [groans] 181 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,265 I'll just go ask him. 182 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,267 Yeah. Be assertive. 183 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,935 [Holland hums] 184 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,188 Hmm, he looks pretty busy. 185 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,606 Wouldn't wanna interrupt. 186 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,983 -Mm-hmm? -Eek! [pants] 187 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,652 'Sup, Bertie? Thanks for earlier. 188 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,156 -You were so helpful in that meeting. -Oh, no problem. 189 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,657 Hey, why the bleak beak? 190 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,451 Oh, nothing. 191 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,953 I just need to buck up and ask Holland for something. 192 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,040 Oh, yeah? Is that why you wore that tight sweater today? 193 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,875 What? 194 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:47,629 I'm sure Holland will give you whatever you ask for. [chuckles] 195 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,590 No! Absolutely no! 196 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,468 I will not with this shit. I am finished. 197 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,011 -I'm finished! -Gross! 198 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,847 I am done with today! I need a drink! 199 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:03,019 Hey, you can't spell "drink" without "Dirk" and some other letters. 200 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:06,606 -Wait! -Right one staying put and lookin' nice. 201 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,733 Oh, no, you don't! 202 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:09,651 [goose honks] 203 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,404 -Voilà! -Ooh. 204 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:16,074 You asked for a basic dresser, and that's what I built. 205 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,784 -Oh, wonderful! -Yup. 206 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,788 Followed the instructions and everything, then I kicked things up a notch. 207 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,374 -This is the meat drawer. -Oh? 208 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,876 -And cheese drawer. -Um... 209 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,839 Now, you'll wanna swap these ice packs out twice a day for fresh ones 210 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,883 or all your clothes are really gonna stink. 211 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,053 Oh, my! This isn't what I wanted at all! 212 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,223 Aw. My best friend, Bertie, loves it when I fill drawers with ham. 213 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,224 Ew. 214 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,226 Me and Bertie are always doing fun stuff. 215 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,854 Last week, her boyfriend ate his own grandma. 216 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:46,771 [exclaims] 217 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:48,731 [grunts] 218 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,108 Where the Havarti at? 219 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:52,777 Got it! 220 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,994 -Hey, you're the HR person, right? -[camera shutter clicks] 221 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,412 Yup! What's with the hole? 222 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,664 That's actually what I came here to talk to you-- 223 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,876 [chuckles] You should cover that. It's not appropriate work attire. 224 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:12,338 Uh, a coworker made a super gross comment about my body. 225 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,840 Eesh. Who did that? 226 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,801 Um... it was Dirk. 227 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,387 Oh, he's cute. Lucky you. 228 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,305 [grunts] 229 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,224 Well, he probably meant it as a compliment. 230 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:27,478 Best to not spread this around. It could make our company look bad, so... 231 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,940 Could you maybe talk to him about proper office behavior? 232 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,775 [chuckles] That sounds like an awkward convo! 233 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,194 Isn't that your job? 234 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,153 Shh! 235 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:36,529 Here's a pamphlet. 236 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,119 -Oh, thanks. -Mm-hmm. 237 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,838 So, where did all the cold cuts come from? 238 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,882 I don't know where meat comes from. 239 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,759 What am I, a food professor? 240 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,261 -There she is! -Yo! 241 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,388 Hey. What's up, guys? 242 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,890 Tuca, how were your gigs? 243 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,559 I did good, maybe too good. 244 00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,103 You know how sometimes I'm too helpful? 245 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,021 Yup. 246 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,564 Whoa, what happened to your chest? 247 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,484 -Um... -Did you trade a titty for a promotion? 248 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,569 You are a ruthless negotiator! 249 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,405 Ugh. It's dumb. I don't wanna talk about it. 250 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:23,284 Well, I think your boob hole looks really cool. 251 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:24,744 Thanks. 252 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,788 -What's up with the promotion, though? -Oh, yeah! 253 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,623 Well, everything's... 254 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,208 [cheerful music plays] 255 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,670 [cheerful music plays] 256 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,587 ...great! 257 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,924 I totally asked for the promotion, and, uh... 258 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,051 -we're working on it! -Woo-woo! 259 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,389 Time to celebrate with... 260 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,391 oven fries! 261 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,892 [triumphant fanfare plays] 262 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:50,687 -I burned the curly ones. -Oh, great! 263 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,732 Yeah. I'm gonna go eat these in bed. 264 00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:55,650 Bed fries. 265 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,986 -Is everything okay? -Oh, yeah. [forced chuckle] 266 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:58,945 Just working hard. 267 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,239 Okay, go relax. I'll come to bed in a little bit. 268 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:04,033 Don't make yourself a new boyfriend out of fries. 269 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,118 A boy-fry'nd! 270 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,371 -[bass music plays] -[studio audience applauds] 271 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,541 Hey, Speckle, can I use your laptop? 272 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,043 Don't you have a computer in your apartment? 273 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,504 Am I in my apartment? 274 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:20,341 Okay. But don't stay up all night watching car crash videos. 275 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,343 -Fine. -And don't wipe the browser history 276 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,554 after staying up all night watching car crash videos. 277 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,555 Fine! 278 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,476 -[tires screech] -Oh, no! 279 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:31,936 Oh, no! 280 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,814 Oh, no! [laughs] 281 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,693 [Tuca laughs] 282 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,279 Woof! What a day! 283 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,489 Oh, hey. There you are! 284 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,159 Yeah, the prodigal bosom returneth! 285 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:49,662 I feel bad for splitting, but, boy, did I need a drink. 286 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,581 There, there, little Ber-titty. 287 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,833 Tell your Auntie Tookles all about it. 288 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,628 Bertie's boss barely notices we exist, I swear. 289 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:58,546 Aw, man! 290 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,216 And that nasty rooster sexually harassed us today! 291 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,052 So humiliating! 292 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:04,969 Oh, no! 293 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,429 Plus, the bathroom stinks, 294 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:10,183 and there's a lady on her phone in there all day, so we can't poop! 295 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,852 -Oh, hell no. Bertie needs my help. -[glass shatters] 296 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:15,229 Yeah, she could really use some support. 297 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,856 [chuckles] Bra joke! 298 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:21,069 -[audience cheers and applauds] -[burps] 299 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,321 [Tuca] Mm-hmm... 300 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,616 -Ah-ha! -[chuckles] Hey! 301 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:30,328 This is gonna be better than the time I popped out at the water park. 302 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,205 -Ah, yeah. -[water splashes] 303 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,499 -[Bertie's Boob] Wa-pow! Look at me now! -[crowd gasps] 304 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,042 -[woman] Put that away! -[kid cries] 305 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,336 -[woman] There are children here! -[man] Oh, Timmy, no! 306 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,588 -[man] Look away, sweetie! Look away! -[woman] Oh, no! 307 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,549 -[scream echoes] -Ah, sweet, sweet freedom. 308 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,931 [groans] 309 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,142 So hung over. [groans] 310 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,560 -[horns blow] -Surprise! 311 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,729 Your work sucks,  and I'm here to make it better. 312 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:57,897 -What? -Check your desk. 313 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,650 Oh, Tuca... 314 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:01,818 And that's not all. 315 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,737 -I'm the new office temp! -[fanfare] 316 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,448 -[laughs] -Your booby gave me the rundown. 317 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,659 -[burps] -And we're gonna fix this dump. 318 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,828 -Now, first order of business. -Whoa! 319 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:16,040 [woman] So, Duffy tells me I have something caught on my beak, 320 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,085 and it's my beak brightening strip. 321 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,879 I forgot to remove it when I left for lunch! 322 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:25,007 Chantelle, I swear, it was hilarious. 323 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,175 Come on! 324 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,137 Yo, red velvet pumps, your time is up. 325 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,931 [woman] Oh, excuse me. I'm on the phone. 326 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:35,143 -Does this look like a phone booth to you? -I was just-- 327 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,103 The middle stall? Seriously? 328 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,354 That's a buffer stall. 329 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,690 No one's ever supposed to go in there. 330 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,609 Everyone knows that. You need to go back to toilet school. 331 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,778 Wait a minute. 332 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,197 Do you even work on this floor? 333 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,950 I don't even work in this building. 334 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,243 Me neither. 335 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,494 -Out! -[clucks, screams] 336 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,163 -[door opens, closes] -Wee! 337 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,707 -Templates, come! -[whistle trills] 338 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,627 -Make this restroom more inviting. -Uh, who are these...? 339 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,213 Oh, they're just two other temp workers I found around the office. 340 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,673 I call them templates! 341 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,049 ♪ Templates ♪ 342 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:10,511 -Why are you in charge of them? -Two words, Bertie: confidence. 343 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:13,306 Was one of the words "Bertie"? 344 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,267 Oh, never mind. I gotta run to a meeting in a minute. 345 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,685 [laughs] Perfect. 346 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,104 -Time for the next part of my plan. -Ooh! 347 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,900 All right, everyone, now that we've gotten some housekeeping out of the way, 348 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,693 let's talk marketing strategy. 349 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,445 Dirk, why don't you get us started? 350 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,615 Okay, well, I looked over more of my data, and I, um... 351 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,202 [chomping loudly] 352 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,703 [clanging noise] 353 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:38,748 [clears throat] I just wanna reiterate that stuff 354 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,708 I was saying yesterday about eagles. 355 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,251 And the things that they like to do. 356 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,754 Okay. Anything new today? 357 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,715 Maybe we could advertise to, like, hawks, too? 358 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,051 Ka-kaaaw! 359 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,596 That's the alarm that sounds 360 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,974 when no women have spoken out loud for three minutes. 361 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,394 -[Holland laughs] -[others laugh] 362 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:05,024 I believe my buddy Bertie had something to contribute. 363 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,276 -Go ahead, B. -Uh... 364 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,821 Well, based on my research, 365 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:14,992 we could target more ads towards quacks, screamers, and loons. 366 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,036 And I'm not talking about Tuca here. 367 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,997 [laughter] 368 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,499 I'm talking about waterfowl. 369 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:25,086 [coworkers murmur in agreement] 370 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:26,963 That was amazing! 371 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,507 Rudeness saves the day yet again. 372 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,593 -Excuse me, what was your name? -Tuca. I'm a temp. 373 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:36,347 You seem like a real go-getter, an innovator, a maverick! 374 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:39,600 A cowgirl, a snowblower, a popsicle stick. 375 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,019 Oh, sorry. I thought we were just listing stuff. 376 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,397 Charming. I'd love to hear some of your ideas. 377 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,107 Maybe I could pick your brain later. 378 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,526 Okay, but it's just a pile of peanuts up there. 379 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,569 [laughs] 380 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,113 Wow, my boss really likes you. 381 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,156 Yeah. All I did was make a loud noise. 382 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,118 Ka-kaw! [laughs] Kaw! 383 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:04,208 I'm gonna eat chips for lunch. 384 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,586 Spicy chips. 385 00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:14,218 ♪ Spicy chips Mm, spicy chips ♪ 386 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,804 ♪ Ooh, they make me gassy But I love spicy chips ♪ 387 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,223 -Are you eating chips for lunch again? -No. 388 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,434 -[Tuca] Come and get your lunch orders. -Huh? 389 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,603 Side of meatballs. Great choice, Sarah. 390 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,604 Breakfast burrito. 391 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,939 Pretty wild for a Tuesday, Cindy. 392 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,441 Vegetarian surprise. 393 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,483 Here you go, champ. 394 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,652 There's meat in it. Surprise! 395 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,195 Lunch is fun now! 396 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,823 -Here you go, Big H. -Killing it, Tuca. 397 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:38,868 You're... really great at this. 398 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,621 Yeah, I figured I should do at least one of the tasks 399 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,456 the office manager asked me to do. 400 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,041 I got you, Claudette! 401 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,460 -I got you, girl! -[people gasp] 402 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:48,544 [chuckles] 403 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,005 Claudette never smiles! 404 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,341 Tuca, could you come and chat in my office for a moment? 405 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,635 I'd like to get your input on some things. 406 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,511 -[gulps] -Okay. Templates! 407 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:58,971 ♪ Templates ♪ 408 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,473 [fanfare plays] 409 00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,225 -Do you have a pool? -Yes. Why? 410 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,144 Can I throw a party at your house next weekend? 411 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,105 -[laughs] -Uh... Tuca? 412 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,358 [groans] 413 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,278 [laughs] 414 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,656 Now, let me know if you wanna jazz things up in there. 415 00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,033 I can build you a desk with a salami dispenser. 416 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,242 That's not a euphemism. 417 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,620 [laughs] Oh, Tuca! 418 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,581 Hey, where's Bertie at? 419 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,668 Bertie? Bertie! Bertie! 420 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,670 [Bertie wails] 421 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,796 Bertie! 422 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:35,174 [Bertie] Your templates made it really nice in here. 423 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,968 -[sniffles and sobs] -What's wrong, friend? 424 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:41,889 Well, I... I thought I wasn't getting ahead because of sexism, 425 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:45,726 but you've only been here one day, and you're doing amazing! 426 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,061 I know. It's crazy. 427 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,438 Your boss wants to give me the promotion you want. 428 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,525 [Bertie wails] 429 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,443 No! 430 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:58,906 So... [sniffles] The only reason I haven't gotten the promotion is... 431 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,991 [blows nose] I suck? 432 00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,451 You don't suck at all. 433 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,454 You're the one who has the smart things to say during meetings 434 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,081 and deserves that job! 435 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,499 You just never take credit. 436 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,752 You pretty much let everyone trample all over your tits. 437 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,504 [Bertie] I give up! 438 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:14,714 Bertie, no. 439 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:17,758 Holland needs to fill that position, and I told him I'd think about it, 440 00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,510 but I was just buying you time. 441 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,971 I'm pretty sure his top choices are me and Dirk. 442 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,724 No! Dirk's a boob spooker! 443 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:27,685 -We have to do something! -I might have an idea. 444 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:33,190 -[keyboard clicks] -Just select and nudge to the right. 445 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:36,068 And now, for some tasteful clip art. 446 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,278 Ha! A tiger! 447 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,239 -Ooh! -That looks really good. 448 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,700 -Love the tiger. -Me-ow. 449 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,076 I command you to print. 450 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,203 ♪ So what? Baby, I'm hot ♪ 451 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,956 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch After my clock ♪ 452 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,250 ♪ So what? Baby, I'm hot ♪ 453 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,669 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch After my clock ♪ 454 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,213 ♪ Clock, tick-tock Clock, ding-dong, yeah ♪ 455 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,716 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch After my clock ♪ 456 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,177 ♪ Clock, tick-tock Clock, ding-dong, yeah ♪ 457 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,471 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch After my clock ♪ 458 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,097 ♪ Yeah, I'm in the building ♪ 459 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,558 ♪ Doing my thing, I do my thing Who you kidding? ♪ 460 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,268 ♪ Me and my girls, we gettin' down ♪ 461 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,312 ♪ We don't play, we never-- ♪ 462 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,730 -[song ends abruptly] -[man coughs] 463 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:17,318 Well, I wasn't super prepared for this, but I'll start with the basics. 464 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,569 Okay, who here can tell me 465 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,697 which parts of this doll it's okay to whistle at? 466 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,741 [yawns] 467 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,035 -What's the plan now? -I don't know. 468 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,579 I thought Dirk would feel so guilty during this meeting, 469 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,998 he'd confess to sexually harassing me! 470 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:36,253 -[grunts] -Oh, you pure-hearted dummy. 471 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:40,466 Now, if we get kissed without consent, maybe with a little bit of tongue, 472 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,968 do we really need to use the word "assault"? 473 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,137 -Seems harsh. -[laughs] 474 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:47,056 Ugh, that's it! 475 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,557 Okay, hi. 476 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,936 I feel like we have a problem with sexual harassment in this office, 477 00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:53,854 and I wanna talk about it! 478 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:54,772 Yeah, yeah! 479 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:58,275 Um, Bertie, the storytelling part comes after I do my condom demo. 480 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,443 Hey, Dirk! 481 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,154 What you said to me yesterday made me uncomfortable! 482 00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:05,157 [laughs] Whoa, hey. I was just kidding around. 483 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,659 It was inappropriate! 484 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,369 My boob ran away! 485 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:11,080 Uh, I'm sorry if my joke hurt your feelings. 486 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,166 -He's been weird to me, too. -He goosed my butt! 487 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,460 He honked my goose! I mean, boob. 488 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:17,461 I am a goose. 489 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,879 [laughs] What a playful guy! 490 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,882 You made me think about my own body at work! 491 00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:23,342 That's disgusting! 492 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,343 -Yeah! -That's right! 493 00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:26,470 -Ugh! Bodies are terrible! -Whoa! 494 00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:28,889 Let's not get into a mob mentality here. 495 00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:32,101 Dirk, I think you should pack your things and leave the office for the day. 496 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,727 Come-- [groans] 497 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:36,730 [crows] 498 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:43,112 Hey, good job, Bertie. You nailed that creep. 499 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,363 Yeah. Feels good. 500 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:47,241 -Go ask Holland for what you deserve. -Okay. 501 00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:49,451 Mwah! Templates! 502 00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:50,953 ♪ Templates ♪ 503 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,621 [fanfare plays] 504 00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,666 [big band instrumental flourish plays] 505 00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:59,378 Bertie, I'd like to thank you for speaking up today. 506 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:02,131 -I'm sorry if you had a bad experience-- -Can I have a promotion? 507 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,299 -[gasps] -Uh, who? 508 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,301 Look, I'd like to be a senior operations analyst. 509 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:06,927 I would be good at it. I wanna do that, 510 00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:08,888 I wish we had another toilet in the women's room. 511 00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,640 -Why am I still talking? -I was hoping you'd ask for that position. 512 00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,100 You're the perfect candidate. 513 00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:16,186 Wait, so does that mean... 514 00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:17,813 -Yes. Claudette? -Huh? 515 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:20,858 Let's get Bertie moved into that empty office space today. 516 00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:23,444 [screams] What?! It's happening! 517 00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,404 Yeah, suck it, Claudette! 518 00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:27,990 -[Claudette grumbles] -Oh. Sorry, Claudette. 519 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:33,621 Wow, here I am. 520 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,998 I got what I wanted. 521 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:37,583 [phone buzzes] 522 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:43,839 -[giggles] Aw. -[keypad clicks, phone whooshes] 523 00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,341 [keypad clicks] 524 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,885 Ah, ah, ah. Heading home already? 525 00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,053 It's only 6:30. 526 00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:52,723 You've got a lot of work to do, Ms. Senior Operations Analyst. 527 00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,434 Oh. [chuckles awkwardly] 528 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:00,981 [buzzes] 529 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:03,567 [sneezes] 530 00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:09,073 Yeesh! 531 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,036 [groans] 532 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:20,918 ♪ No words, only scream ♪ 533 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:28,133 ♪ Could possibly protect you You know what it means ♪ 534 00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:33,180 ♪ There is no blame There is no shame ♪ 535 00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:35,599 ♪ And even more ♪ 536 00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:41,730 ♪ Nobody gets what they want anymore ♪ 537 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:53,242 ♪ Nobody gets what they want anymore ♪ 538 00:24:58,831 --> 00:24:59,832 [gasps] 539 00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:04,169 [grunts and howls] 540 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:08,841 [howl continues] 541 00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:16,807 -[chittering] -[barking] 542 00:25:16,890 --> 00:25:19,977 [man] Boxer versus raptor! Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na!