♪♪
-Hand my friends over and I'll let you live!
-You misunderstand.
Bounty hunters don't negotiate.
-Any last words, Crite?
-Yes.
Now!
♪♪
-Ah! -Oh!
-Ladies and gentlemen,
it appears there are hundreds of hairy balls
descending through the air!
-[ Screaming ]
-He brought them to us!
He's gone full-Crite!
Make peace with your gods!
-No!
♪♪
-Aah!
-Sheriff, it's just like the video!
-No shit!
-There are red ones? What do they do?
Oh. -Yes! Keep eating!
-But the bounty hunters are gone.
Let's get Christopher and his friends
and get the hell out of here.
-My people have traveled far
and performed marginally above expectations.
They deserve this feast.
Keep eating!
Keep eating until there is nothing left to eat!
Oh, yes, I see it's turning you on.
Deep down, it always did.
The carnage.
The bloodshed.
The mayhem...
[ Choking, gagging ]
Why?
-I won't let you have my son.
Christopher!
-Guys! -Christopher!
-Everything's gonna be okay! Come on!
-You came back for us.
-That's how I roll.
Dana, there's something that I have to tell you.
-I know how you feel about me.
-I knew it!
-Charlie told me.
And if I wasn't such an idiot,
I probably would've noticed sooner.
Sorry that I didn't.
-Listen, I know that I'm not...
sexy in the traditional sense.
Or...
in any sense anymore, but -- -I think you're beautiful.
-I'm gonna leave you two alone.
-Really? -Yeah. I do.
-Gonna hit the high road.
♪♪
-Your very existence threatens the universe.
You must be destroyed.
-Hey! Delivery guy?
This package is damaged.
-I don't get it.
-Double entendre, bitch!
Oh, hell no!
Wait! Oh, wait! Don't you have balls?
I was just kidding!
♪♪
[ Stomach rumbles ]
Whoa!
-[ Growls ]
♪♪
-Aah!
-Good shooting, Sheriff.
-We're basically invincible.
-Aah! That's right, motherfuckers!
♪♪
-Everything's gonna be okay.
[ Screaming ]
-Mom!
♪♪
Mom? Everything's gonna be okay.
Just stay still.
-How bad is it?
-Uh...
-On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being really bad?
-Oh. Uh...
-4?
-Uh...
-Mm, 6?
Uh, uh...
Oh, I'm not gonna make spin class on Monday.
You may be half-Crite, but you're nothing like them, Chris.
Your heart is bigger than all their little bodies together.
I love you, Pork Chop.
-I love you, too, Mom.
♪♪
-You will achieve your spot in this world.
Or some other world.
Need any Viagra?
♪♪
[ High-pitched whine ]
[ Both screaming ]
-Aah!
♪♪
-Officials are still trying to make sense
of the senseless attack that occurred at Livingston's
45th Annual "Meat Your Destiny" Hot Dog Eating Championship.
Multiple witnesses are giving accounts
of "extra-terrestrials" and "hairy black balls,"
but the attack was apparently foiled by one heroic senior
from Sotto Valley High School.
-No, my eyes are fine.
What don't you get?
It's my ears.
It's my bleeding ears.
-Chris?
-Dana, uh...
Look, I know what you're thinking.
You said you don't like destructive assholes.
And look at what I just did.
-I know.
-I guess this is just who I am.
It's in my blood.
-You don't have to explain yourself to me.
You were a hero today.
Whoa, what are you doing?
-Oh, I -- I thought that, uh...
you wanted... we were gonna, uh...kiss?
-How about you try asking me on a date first?
-Dana? -Yes, Chris?
-Would you like to go out sometime?
-I'll think about it.
-Guys, I got the prize money and the trophy!
Let's bail!
♪♪
-[ Laughing ]
♪♪