1 00:00:00,801 --> 00:00:02,335 We're gonna be late for the parade! 2 00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:03,669 - Okay. Relax, Andy. 3 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:04,937 The parade is not going anywhere. 4 00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:06,271 - I don't want to miss the floats. 5 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:07,540 - Nah, we're okay, buddy. 6 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,342 - Andy, why are you so pumped up? 7 00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:10,876 - Cause I love the Thanksgiving parade. 8 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:12,611 When I was a kid, I loved seeing 9 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,213 the engine go down the street. 10 00:00:14,349 --> 00:00:15,548 - You still sound like a little kid. 11 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,082 - I don't know about all that, 12 00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,817 but you could call me a card-carrying 13 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,152 Parade-ophile! 14 00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:21,620 [cackles] 15 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,155 - I'd be careful how you enunciate that. 16 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,823 - Ike, come on. Let's get moving, hurry! 17 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,359 - Okay, little buddy. We got lots of time. 18 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:27,960 You know the parade route's just two blocks 19 00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,428 from here, right? - Are we there yet? 20 00:00:29,564 --> 00:00:31,296 - [laughs] - Are we there yet? 21 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,431 - All right, we'll be there in a sec. 22 00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:34,433 - Just kidding. Are we there yet? 23 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,302 [engine rumbles and sputters] 24 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:40,673 [clanking and rattling] - Oh! 25 00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:45,778 [hissing] 26 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:50,649 - No, sir. This engine's going nowhere. 27 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,518 - No, no, not today. - Aw, I'm sorry, Andy. 28 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,120 - Well, why can't we throw the truck in neutral? 29 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,922 I could ride on top, and then the rest of you guys 30 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,591 could just push it down the parade route. 31 00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,792 - We need to get the engine fixed 32 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,326 in case we get a call. Hey, Ike, 33 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,928 call the superintendent of apparatus. 34 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,529 - Spatchcock? No! 35 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,531 Chief, please. - We need to get it fixed. 36 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:07,733 - Chief, not Spatchcock. 37 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,534 Not today! - Ike, call him. 38 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,737 - Okay. - [huffs] 39 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,673 - Andy, don't act like a baby. - Okay. Go easy on him, Chief. 40 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,742 He had his heart set on it. - That's no reason to pout. 41 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,543 - Well, leave me alone! - Hey! 42 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,013 You go cool off in the bunk room, pal. 43 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,348 - Fine! Stupid engine... 44 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,549 - He'll be all right, poor fella. 45 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,018 He just needs his nap. - Hey, Andy, 46 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,487 just remember everything you should be thankful for. 47 00:01:28,623 --> 00:01:30,423 - Fuck you! - Oh! 48 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:31,757 You watch that mouth, young man! 49 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,492 - See what happens when you give him juice? 50 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,429 - Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. 51 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,432 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 52 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:44,503 ♪ ♪ 53 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,239 - ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 54 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,642 ♪ Check it and see ♪ 55 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:53,779 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 56 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,615 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 57 00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,653 - Well, hopefully a blown-out engine 58 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,521 is the only problem you guys have on Thanksgiving. 59 00:02:02,657 --> 00:02:04,123 - What could be worse? - Don't jinx us. 60 00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,858 I predict three deep-fried turkey fires today. 61 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,660 - All right, well, now that the parade's a bust, 62 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,328 I'm gonna head out to the family dinner. 63 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,530 - Oh, you're leaving, Chief? - Are you sure you don't 64 00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:12,998 want to hang out with us this year? 65 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,199 - Nah, Vicky's working, 66 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,468 so I'm gonna join Lucy's sisters 67 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:16,669 over at their granddad's house. 68 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,403 - Thanksgiving with the Commish. 69 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:21,006 I've spent a lifetime trying to avoid my dad on this day. 70 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,476 I'm glad I'm on duty. - And I'm glad I'm not. 71 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,810 I'm gonna go change into my civvies 72 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,211 and get outta here before Spatchcock 73 00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,013 shows up to fix that engine. [all groan] 74 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,149 - Ugh, Spatchcock is disgusting. 75 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,017 He's always covered in grease and muck 76 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,752 and he's always bleeding from somewhere. 77 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,620 - Spatchcock is always going on and on 78 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,690 about some useless drivel. Ugh! 79 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,025 - Spatchcock. He always makes me feel like 80 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,494 it's my fault when anything breaks down. 81 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,496 - All right. Well, have fun everyone. 82 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,698 - We'll miss you deeply, Chiefy! 83 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,366 - [quietly] Nice acting job. 84 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,302 Even I believed you wanted Chief to stick around. 85 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:52,037 - Thank you. It really was a masterclass, wasn't it? 86 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,307 I love him, but the best part about working on Thanksgiving 87 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,576 is we get to do it our way, not the Terry McConky way. 88 00:02:57,712 --> 00:02:59,578 - He can be a bit overbearing. 89 00:02:59,714 --> 00:03:01,580 At home, he makes us wear Pilgrim hats, 90 00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:04,317 play touch football, eat all his lame dishes. 91 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:05,851 This is gonna be my first Thanksgiving 92 00:03:05,987 --> 00:03:07,720 without all his rules, and I am very excited. 93 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,855 - Station Thanksgiving has no rules. 94 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:10,990 - Now you're talking! 95 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:11,991 - For dinner, we can make 96 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:12,992 whatever we want. 97 00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:14,660 I'm making spaghetti pie. 98 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,395 - I'm making turkey and stuffing, but this year, 99 00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:18,531 it's a free-range Narraganset turkey, 100 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,799 and I'm stuffing it with crab meat 101 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,868 stuffed inside a salmon. 102 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,738 - Ooh, you're talking about turcrabmon? 103 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,806 I just read about that in this November's issue 104 00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:30,275 of "Delicious AF." - Yeah! 105 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,078 - See, this is the Thanksgiving I've always dreamed of. 106 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,348 - Let's get it started with a homemade onion dip. 107 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,883 Lucy, do me a favor and chop some onions, please. 108 00:03:38,019 --> 00:03:39,618 - How am I already the onion bitch? 109 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,086 - Oh, yeah. - I'm just glad that 110 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,022 I don't have to eat my dad's yams this year. 111 00:03:43,024 --> 00:03:44,557 I've been hiding them in my napkin 112 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,491 and flushing them down the toilet for ten years. 113 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,361 - But I love a good sweet potato pie. 114 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:49,828 - Pretty sure they're different. 115 00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,697 - Sweet potatoes and yams are the same thing. 116 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:52,631 - No, actually guys, I think 117 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,900 all sweet potatoes are yams, 118 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,103 but not all yams are sweet potatoes. 119 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,638 - Wrong! 120 00:03:59,774 --> 00:04:02,775 A yam is not a yam at all. 121 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,644 They're all sweet potatoes. Ugh! 122 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,913 - Spatchcock. - [through teeth] Spatchcock. 123 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,915 - In the 1930s, a farmer called 124 00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:12,918 a soft, orange sweet potato a yam 125 00:04:13,054 --> 00:04:15,588 to distinguish it from other sweet potatoes. 126 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,191 But a real yam is a root vegetable 127 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,858 found in tropical climates. 128 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,862 So your yam is not a yam at all! 129 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,130 You got any duct tape? 130 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,400 I sliced my thumb on a fan blade. 131 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,734 - Come on, Spatchcock. 132 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,269 Why don't you go wash that off, man? 133 00:04:30,405 --> 00:04:32,204 We can put a bandage on it. - The tape's adhesive 134 00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,473 binds with the motor oil, creates a salve. 135 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,475 Most people don't know that. 136 00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:39,078 Oh, thank you there, Crysie. 137 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,947 If only you could treat the engine with as much care. 138 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,416 - I didn't do anything to it, Spatchcock. 139 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:47,420 - That's funny. Always seems to happen on your watch. 140 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:48,888 Oh, dear Lord! 141 00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:51,556 Young lady, you're throwing away the best part. 142 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,759 - [groans] 143 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,361 Up to 35% of the onion's vitamin C 144 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,830 accumulates on the ends. 145 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,299 Huh, no? Okay, suit yourself. 146 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,834 - All right. Enjoy. 147 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,969 - She's an odd one, huh? - Okay, Spatchcock. 148 00:05:04,105 --> 00:05:05,638 The engine's outside. Get to work. 149 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,307 - What, do you got yourself a free-range bird there? 150 00:05:08,443 --> 00:05:09,708 - Uh-huh. 151 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,843 - Definitely the worst type to buy. 152 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,645 Eventually, see, when they do face death, 153 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,380 they release an adrenal fear hormone. 154 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,516 Makes the meat taste bitter. 155 00:05:17,652 --> 00:05:19,719 Yeah. [squelch] 156 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,256 [gags] Bitter. 157 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:26,058 - Shut up, Spatchcock. The meat is great. 158 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,127 And don't you ever touch my turkey again. 159 00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:30,463 - [gobbles] 160 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,598 Oh, the big mon! 161 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,932 How do you do? 162 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,801 Salutations, Chief. 163 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,670 - Spatchcock, how's the engine? 164 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,805 - Crystal did a number on it, but I can fix it. 165 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,674 In the meantime, I brought you a spare engine. 166 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,008 - Fantastic. I gotta get going, sorry. 167 00:05:43,144 --> 00:05:45,811 - Hey, I like the ensemble. 168 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,480 You look like you stepped right out 169 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,348 of a Norman Rockwell painting. 170 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,016 - Thank you very much. I appreciate that. 171 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,551 - Yeah, interesting story. 172 00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:54,086 At the beginning of World War I, 173 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:56,755 Norman Rockwell tries to enlist in the Navy. 174 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,157 He gets rejected. Why? 175 00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:01,894 He's 17 pounds underweight. - Fascinating-- 176 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,896 - Now check this out. What's he do? 177 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,764 He bulks up for the next couple weeks 178 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,901 on a diet of donuts and bananas. 179 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,769 Now I don't think there was anything sexual, 180 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:14,106 but we all have a dark side. 181 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,041 Pretty sure I know yours, Chief. 182 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,810 Okay, pal. - Great. 183 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,982 - [quietly] I'll show you a masterclass in acting. 184 00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:24,116 - Enjoy! 185 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,985 - Chief, are you sure you can't stay? 186 00:06:25,987 --> 00:06:27,520 - Oh, yeah, I gotta get to the Commish's 187 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,854 before they carve the bird. 188 00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,856 - Well, just know that Thanksgiving's 189 00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:33,258 not gonna be the same without you. 190 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:36,061 - Aw, don't cry. 191 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,596 My little girl doesn't want to be away 192 00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:39,131 from her daddy on Thanksgiving. 193 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,133 What was I thinking? Of course I'll stay. 194 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,468 I'm gonna spend the day with my number-one girl. 195 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,870 - Oh, whoa, whoa! Chief, Chief. 196 00:06:45,006 --> 00:06:46,539 What about your other two daughters? 197 00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,941 - Eh, I'll just call 'em and tell 'em I'm not gonna make it. 198 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,343 - No, no, no. You don't wanna do that. 199 00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,011 'Cause then they'll be upset-- [stammers] 200 00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:54,547 - Yeah, Lucy will be fine. - I'm fine. I'm just-- 201 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,482 You know, I'm chopping onions. - I know you're fine. 202 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,817 'Cause I'm staying. 203 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,219 I wonder if I have those Pilgrim hats 204 00:07:00,355 --> 00:07:01,287 still in my office. 205 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,623 - Poorly played, Lucy. 206 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,025 You go get rid of him right now. 207 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,760 - Okay, all right. I'm sorry. [alarm blaring] 208 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,362 - Station 24, 448 Reed Boulevard. 209 00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,163 Kitchen fire from a deep-fried turkey. 210 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:13,099 - When we get back, you're getting rid of him. 211 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,740 [hammering] 212 00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:24,410 - That turkey exploded like it was stuffed with fireworks. 213 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,945 - No salmonella there. That bird was overcooked. 214 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,815 - Spatchcock, how's it going down there? 215 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,684 Hope you're done soon 'cause that loaner sucks 216 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,085 compared to my baby here. 217 00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:35,487 - Yeah, how much longer? [cranking] 218 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,023 Hey, Spatchcock, you hear me? 219 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,425 Spatchie? 220 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,827 - Whoa! What the hell? - Oh! 221 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,431 [cranking continues] 222 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,899 - Uh-huh. Thought so. 223 00:07:47,035 --> 00:07:49,167 - Oops! Ah, busted. 224 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:52,104 Just helping myself to some of your delicacies. 225 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,839 - That's my French onion dip. 226 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,242 - Oui, oui. Could use a bit more onion. 227 00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,044 - That's a double dip? - Yeah. 228 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,445 - Plenty for everybody. 229 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,980 - Spatchcock, your blood is in the bowl, man! 230 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,383 - Is it blood, or food coloring? 231 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,718 It's blood. 232 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,053 - Let's go watch some football. - Ugh! 233 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,588 - Yeah. - Yeah, get out of here. 234 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,390 Busy, busy. 235 00:08:11,392 --> 00:08:13,726 - [sighs] 236 00:08:13,728 --> 00:08:15,261 [TV chatter] 237 00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:17,329 - Hey, Chief, we were gonna watch some football. 238 00:08:17,465 --> 00:08:18,597 - Lucy knows the routine. 239 00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,733 Parade first, then football. 240 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,068 Don't worry. I taped the game. 241 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,335 - Why didn't you tape the parade 242 00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:24,536 and watch the game live? 243 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,738 - Parades are way better live! 244 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:26,939 Andy, you love parades! 245 00:08:27,075 --> 00:08:28,807 - I love riding in parades. 246 00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,076 Watching a parade on TV 247 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,810 is for little kids and psychopaths. 248 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,345 - Hey, simmer down, pal. - What? 249 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,614 - Here's Buzz Lightyear. He's in that toy movie. 250 00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:36,815 About the story about the toys. 251 00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,350 I can't remember the name of it. 252 00:08:38,486 --> 00:08:41,887 Be careful with those ropes! He might really fly away. 253 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,622 - Man, I bet my little sisters are so bummed 254 00:08:43,758 --> 00:08:45,624 they don't get to watch the parade with you this year. 255 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,893 - No, I talked to them; they're fine with me being here. 256 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,095 - You guys, let's get cleaned up 257 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,829 and get ready for the Turkey giveaway. 258 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,164 - Hey, the cast of "King Kong: The Musical" 259 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,567 is on after the commercial. - Uh-huh. 260 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,635 - Okay. - What's that? 261 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:57,970 - It's my carving set. 262 00:08:57,972 --> 00:08:59,438 I brought it for dinner at the Commish's, 263 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,839 but now I'm just gonna use it here. 264 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,374 [blade scraping] 265 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,510 - I carve the turkey here. - Not when I'm around. 266 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,244 I carve the turkey. It's tradition. 267 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,513 - Terry, this isn't your house. 268 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,047 I'm carving the turkey here. 269 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,717 - I'm the Chief. I carve the turkey, Captain. 270 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,786 [chuckles] 271 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,455 Super sharp. 272 00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:20,459 - Uncle Eddie, I tried. 273 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,795 - Well, try harder. Because there's no way 274 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,731 he's gonna stab my turcrabmon! 275 00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:34,941 - You guys, man. 276 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,344 He's making engine pizza out of our scraps. 277 00:09:38,479 --> 00:09:40,146 Hey, Spatchcock, you know you can use 278 00:09:40,281 --> 00:09:41,948 the stove inside, if you want. 279 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,882 - Thanks, Granny, but actually I prefer this. 280 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,283 It's a technique my wife taught me. 281 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,618 She was a long-haul trucker. 282 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,355 Cooked many a-engine pizza in her days. 283 00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:50,957 - Okay... 284 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,224 - You guys, we should invite him 285 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,826 to stay with us for dinner. 286 00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:55,227 - No way! Are you kidding me? No. 287 00:09:55,363 --> 00:09:57,095 - Yeah, he can have dinner with his wife. 288 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,965 - Haven't you seen "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"? 289 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,899 His wife's probably dead! - I haven't seen it. 290 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,168 And you just ruined it. - I'm serious. 291 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,636 His wife's probably dead. 292 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,504 He's probably very alone right now. 293 00:10:05,506 --> 00:10:07,039 - You're right. My wife is dead. 294 00:10:07,175 --> 00:10:08,975 - Oh, you--I'm sorry, man. 295 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,977 You could hear us? - Yeah, I hear everything. 296 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,645 She died a couple years back. 297 00:10:12,647 --> 00:10:14,780 Logging accident. 298 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,248 Yes, it was her fault. - Hey, man. 299 00:10:16,384 --> 00:10:19,185 Look, we're really sorry to hear about that. 300 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,587 And with that being said, we'd like to invite you 301 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,121 to join us for dinner. 302 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,191 - You're sweeter than a honeycrisp, Granny, 303 00:10:25,326 --> 00:10:27,393 but, uh, actually already have plans 304 00:10:27,528 --> 00:10:29,127 with my girlfriend. 305 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:29,996 Who's a model. 306 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,130 Yeah, and her twin sister, 307 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,667 and we're gonna probably hot tub 308 00:10:34,669 --> 00:10:36,869 and, uh, shave each other. 309 00:10:36,871 --> 00:10:38,470 - Okay, cool. See? He's not available. 310 00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,138 He's gonna be in a hot tub with two twins 311 00:10:40,274 --> 00:10:41,740 and they're gonna shave each other. 312 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,410 - Keep an eye on the pizza. 313 00:10:44,545 --> 00:10:47,079 I'm gonna go steal some cheese from that spa-gah-ti pie. 314 00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:49,415 Spa-gah-ti! That's how you say it. 315 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,017 - It's obvious that he has too much pride 316 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,819 to admit that he has nowhere to go. 317 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,354 I say, over the course of the day, 318 00:10:55,356 --> 00:10:57,356 we secretly break equipment for him to fix, 319 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,891 and then, by the time he's done, 320 00:10:59,027 --> 00:11:00,626 it'll be easy for him to stay. 321 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,428 - Pfft, lame! - Hey. 322 00:11:02,563 --> 00:11:04,430 - Why don't you grow up and start thinking 323 00:11:04,565 --> 00:11:06,965 about other people instead of yourself, mister? 324 00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,035 - Okay, listen. I'll do it. 325 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,037 But only because I like breaking stuff. 326 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,838 - Scatter! Hurry, scatter! - What? 327 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,107 - Hurry! Come on! Go, go, go! He's coming. He's coming. 328 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,576 - Hey, who's ready for some football? 329 00:11:17,578 --> 00:11:20,312 - Chief, right now isn't a good time. 330 00:11:20,314 --> 00:11:22,381 - Hey, Captain, button hook. - Come on, Terry. 331 00:11:22,383 --> 00:11:23,716 My hands are covered with Crisco. 332 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,584 - I'm going long. 333 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:26,985 Come on. Whip it. 334 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,654 - Dad! Dad! - What are you doing? 335 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,389 all: Oh! - Dad, are you okay? 336 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,191 - Hey. Hey, man. - I'm okay. 337 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,662 Hey, touchdown! [sighs] 338 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,065 Okay. I didn't hurt my back, so I consider that a victory. 339 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,999 - How about that flattened turkey down there? 340 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,935 - This one? Oh, boy. 341 00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:45,404 Oh, yeah. It's a little squished, huh? 342 00:11:45,406 --> 00:11:47,139 It'll be okay. Just rub some dirt in it. 343 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,741 Right, guys? Hey! 344 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,209 All right, who's up? Somebody go for a pass. 345 00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:52,745 Oh, shit. My back. - All right, I'll go. 346 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,448 - Here you go-- oh, fuck. 347 00:12:01,489 --> 00:12:04,222 You making mashed potatoes? - Mm-hmm. 348 00:12:04,358 --> 00:12:06,358 - You know the key to good mashed potatoes? 349 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,094 Butter. The more butter, the better. 350 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,495 That's what I always say. 351 00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,430 - I'm not making traditional mashed potatoes. 352 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,032 This recipe calls for soy milk and parmesan cheese. 353 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,834 - Ah, gross. 354 00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:18,504 You stir like a caveman. 355 00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:21,507 Is that crab meat? - Yes. 356 00:12:21,642 --> 00:12:23,375 - In your stuffing? - Yes. 357 00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:25,043 - Crab meat stuffing? - You know, 358 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,712 if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. 359 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,246 - We should try Stove Top. 360 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,582 - Oh, God. What are you, six years old? 361 00:12:29,717 --> 00:12:31,183 - You've never let us have it before, 362 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,318 and I've always wanted to try it. 363 00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:33,385 - Let me tell you something: 364 00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:34,920 stuffing is a delicacy, 365 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,522 and it deserves delicious accents 366 00:12:36,657 --> 00:12:38,791 like pecans or figs. 367 00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:39,926 Ooh, or apples! 368 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,128 I'm gonna get you apples. 369 00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:43,929 - I would hide that turkey right now. 370 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,132 He's gonna give you ten suggestions on how to cook it. 371 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,666 And that's before he sees 372 00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,802 that you've stuffed it with salmon and crab. 373 00:12:49,938 --> 00:12:51,304 - Get rid of him! 374 00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:55,407 - Well, I couldn't find any apples, 375 00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:57,209 but I got raisins. Next best thing, right? 376 00:12:57,345 --> 00:12:59,011 - Dad, maybe you should let him make what he wants. 377 00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:01,347 - This looks like leftover night at the United Nations. 378 00:13:01,482 --> 00:13:03,215 - Dad, if you want a traditional Thanksgiving, 379 00:13:03,351 --> 00:13:04,616 then go over to Grandpa's house. 380 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,152 We don't have any of that stuff here. 381 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,753 - Oh, I do. It's in my truck. 382 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,688 I was gonna bring it to your granddad's house. 383 00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:11,423 Go out to my truck. I got canned corn, 384 00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:13,492 canned cranberries, canned gravy. 385 00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:15,894 Oh, and your favorite, canned yams, huh? 386 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:19,097 Go ahead. Quick like a bunny. 387 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,500 Meanwhile, I'm gonna raisin this up. 388 00:13:21,636 --> 00:13:23,369 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm adding raisins. 389 00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:25,371 The more wrinkled the raisin, the sweeter the fruit. 390 00:13:25,506 --> 00:13:29,041 - You pick those out of there right now. 391 00:13:29,177 --> 00:13:30,643 [clattering] 392 00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:32,578 - Why am I the one that needs to squeeze back here? 393 00:13:32,713 --> 00:13:34,580 - 'Cause you're smaller than we are. 394 00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,650 If we sabotage the air ducts, then maybe I'll do it, okay? 395 00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:39,385 Just don't be a baby about it, Andy. 396 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,119 [explosion] - [yelps] 397 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,488 - Ooh, busted. 398 00:13:43,992 --> 00:13:45,858 - Washing machine down. 399 00:13:45,994 --> 00:13:47,059 - Good job, little buddy. 400 00:13:47,195 --> 00:13:48,995 - You made that washer unusable. 401 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,196 I'm gonna go tell Spatchcock. 402 00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,998 - Chief. Hey, Chief, Chief. 403 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,066 Chief, Chief, Chief, Chief. 404 00:13:54,202 --> 00:13:56,202 You know, if they really wanna fix football, 405 00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:58,204 they ought to hang a tire from the goal post. 406 00:13:58,339 --> 00:14:00,006 If you kick the ball through it, 75 points. 407 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,273 That'd be a game. 408 00:14:01,409 --> 00:14:02,875 - Don't you have something to go fix? 409 00:14:02,877 --> 00:14:04,610 - Trying to fix football. 410 00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:06,144 - Hey, Spatchcock. 411 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,479 Our washing machine is acting up. 412 00:14:07,615 --> 00:14:09,081 You think you could take a look at it? 413 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,416 - You guys are a bunch of clowns. 414 00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:11,750 - Right on. 415 00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:12,885 Okay, all right. 416 00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,753 Okay, Jesus. 417 00:14:14,889 --> 00:14:16,889 - You should trim the ends of those beans. 418 00:14:17,025 --> 00:14:18,957 Adds more flavor. 419 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,293 - We need this guy outta here. He's gonna ruin our whole day. 420 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,895 [alarm blaring] - Station 24. 421 00:14:23,031 --> 00:14:25,364 Fire at 3002 Pembroke Avenue. 422 00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:28,567 Deep-fried turkey accident. 423 00:14:28,703 --> 00:14:31,169 - Hey, sorry. I'd join you, but I'm off-duty. 424 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,771 And I just cracked number two. 425 00:14:32,773 --> 00:14:34,506 - Yeah, I can tell by your bar tan. 426 00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:36,174 Don't worry. You just relax. 427 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,176 And do me a favor and man the turkey giveaway table 428 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,512 while we're gone. - Will do. 429 00:14:40,648 --> 00:14:42,180 Oh, come on. He jumped. 430 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,482 He jumped! 431 00:14:45,386 --> 00:14:46,853 There you go. That's a heavy one. 432 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,788 15-pounder. Happy holiday, sir. Thank you. 433 00:14:49,924 --> 00:14:52,458 Hi, how are ya? 434 00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:54,192 Hmm. 435 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,128 Looks a little banged up, huh? 436 00:14:56,264 --> 00:14:58,997 Maybe we could find you another one. 437 00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:02,735 I'm not sure if maybe-- 438 00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,203 oh, I got one over here. 439 00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,806 Ah, look at this. 440 00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:09,675 Oh, it's heavy. 441 00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,811 Hey, keep the pan. - Thank you. 442 00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,215 Oh, yeah. 443 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,484 Don't you worry, my flat friend. 444 00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:21,019 We will find a home for you. 445 00:15:21,155 --> 00:15:22,288 Okay. 446 00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:28,026 [brakes squealing] Gonna watch some football! 447 00:15:28,162 --> 00:15:29,895 - Ooh, baby! Gotta tell you. 448 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,098 That repaired engine was purring like a kitten. 449 00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:33,566 It felt great. 450 00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:36,168 - Thanks, Crystal. Let's keep it that way. 451 00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:37,303 - Yeah, you bet. 452 00:15:37,438 --> 00:15:38,504 - Hoo-hoo! 453 00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:40,773 Can't wait to get my bird in the oven. 454 00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:42,308 Where's my turkey? 455 00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:44,242 - Might wanna ask the Chief. 456 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,045 - Nobody cooks my turkey but me. 457 00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:48,647 - Oh, brother. 458 00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:51,183 - Time out, time out. Call timeout! Come on. 459 00:15:51,319 --> 00:15:53,319 - Where's my turkey? - What turkey? 460 00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:54,853 - Spatchcock says you took it. 461 00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:56,789 - Speaking of turkeys, when's that guy gonna leave? 462 00:15:56,924 --> 00:15:59,458 - What's this? - Oh, that's a smushed one. 463 00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:00,793 I figured we could use it to round out 464 00:16:00,795 --> 00:16:02,594 our traditional Thanksgiving dinner. 465 00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:04,730 - I bought an expensive, free-range, Narraganset turkey, 466 00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:06,398 and I had it out there on the app floor. 467 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,733 What happened to it? - That's where we keep 468 00:16:07,868 --> 00:16:09,802 the giveaways. Why would you put it there? 469 00:16:09,804 --> 00:16:12,070 - So you wouldn't mess with it. - Well, you should've put it 470 00:16:12,206 --> 00:16:13,472 somewhere else. It's gone. 471 00:16:13,607 --> 00:16:15,073 - But I stuffed it with crab and salmon. 472 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,243 - Sounds gross. That woman's gonna be bummed. 473 00:16:18,746 --> 00:16:20,879 - [chuckles] Tape ain't gonna cut it 474 00:16:20,881 --> 00:16:23,081 for a big head like me. I need my stapler. 475 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,617 - Enough is enough. It's time to just come out and tell him. 476 00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:27,153 - What am I supposed to say? 477 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,887 - He is ruining our Thanksgiving. 478 00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:30,823 - Pfft, Spatchcock. 479 00:16:30,959 --> 00:16:32,491 - But he's my dad. I can't just tell him 480 00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:34,827 we don't want him around. 481 00:16:34,829 --> 00:16:36,362 Did you know that the guys are actually 482 00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:38,096 trying to get Spatchcock to stay? 483 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,565 - Spatchcock? Why? 484 00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:41,233 - They think it'd be a good gesture. 485 00:16:41,369 --> 00:16:43,636 - [chuckles] Think of the irony of that. 486 00:16:43,771 --> 00:16:45,371 Trying to get the Chief to leave 487 00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,373 and Spatchcock to stay. 488 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,775 Who woulda thunk it? [laughter] 489 00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:51,844 - All right. I'll tell him. 490 00:16:51,846 --> 00:16:52,812 - Okay. 491 00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,182 - Dad. 492 00:16:56,317 --> 00:16:58,718 No, look. Can I--can I explain? 493 00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,988 Dad, hold on. 494 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,722 Dad, wait. - Gotta go. 495 00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:06,124 Gonna be late for dinner with your sisters. 496 00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:08,727 - Dad, come on. 497 00:17:08,729 --> 00:17:11,329 Dad. [car sputtering] 498 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,733 Hey, can we just talk? 499 00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:16,869 Dad? 500 00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:19,405 - I can't hear you. - Okay, okay. 501 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,074 Well, can you roll the window down? 502 00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:23,609 - I can't roll the window down. 503 00:17:23,744 --> 00:17:25,744 - I thought you couldn't hear me. 504 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:26,979 - [grumbles] 505 00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,617 I just had this truck serviced. 506 00:17:31,752 --> 00:17:33,151 - Dad, please stay. 507 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,820 - Shouldn't you be saying that to Spatchcock? 508 00:17:34,955 --> 00:17:36,755 Sounds like he's the one you want to stay. 509 00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:38,824 - I'm sorry. I should've said something sooner. 510 00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,492 I love your traditions, but this was 511 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,627 my first Station Thanksgiving 512 00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:43,229 and I was excited about it. 513 00:17:43,364 --> 00:17:44,630 Because it was mine, and, you know, 514 00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:46,498 I get to be one of the guys. 515 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,900 - Well, why'd you cry when I was leaving? 516 00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:49,501 - Because I was chopping onions. 517 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,503 - Let that be a lesson to you. 518 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,039 Only use canned onions. - Dad-- 519 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,306 - You know, I was excited 520 00:17:54,442 --> 00:17:55,908 for your first Station Thanksgiving too. 521 00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,977 - Please stay. - I know where I'm not welcome. 522 00:17:58,979 --> 00:17:59,912 - Dad! 523 00:18:01,115 --> 00:18:02,849 [car sputtering] Dad. 524 00:18:02,983 --> 00:18:04,350 Seriously? 525 00:18:13,361 --> 00:18:15,093 - This turkey is bullshit. 526 00:18:15,229 --> 00:18:16,562 There's no cavity anymore. 527 00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:18,631 It could never have held a crab-stuffed salmon. 528 00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:20,699 - I don't think it's bullshit. 529 00:18:20,701 --> 00:18:22,368 I think it's gonna be a delicious turcrabmon, 530 00:18:22,503 --> 00:18:25,571 even if it's not stuffed with salmon and crab or whatever. 531 00:18:25,706 --> 00:18:27,506 - It won't be turcrabmon without it. 532 00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:28,774 That's what the "crab" and the "mon" 533 00:18:28,909 --> 00:18:31,377 in the name means. - Oh, right. 534 00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:33,179 Ah, man. Yeah, we thought it was, like, 535 00:18:33,314 --> 00:18:34,647 named after the guy who invented it, 536 00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:36,915 like Ignatius Turcrabmon, or something. 537 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,318 - Who's "we"? - We all did. 538 00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:41,253 - How'd it go? - Not great. 539 00:18:41,255 --> 00:18:42,521 - Yo, the washing machine is fixed, 540 00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:44,790 but I don't see Spatchcock anywhere. 541 00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:45,825 [door opens] 542 00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:49,728 - Room for one more? 543 00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:51,263 - Yes. all: Hey! 544 00:18:51,399 --> 00:18:53,399 - Yeah, man. Get in here! 545 00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:56,468 - Hey, how about another? 546 00:18:56,604 --> 00:18:58,537 - You know it! all: Yeah. 547 00:18:58,673 --> 00:19:00,939 [all speaking at once] 548 00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:01,941 - The Cock! 549 00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,944 - Why does Spatchcock get to sit at the big table 550 00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:07,413 and I have to sit here all by myself? 551 00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,147 - Shh, stop. Because he's our guest. 552 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,483 Do you wanna have our guest sit alone over here? 553 00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:12,885 - Yeah. - Hey, cut it out. 554 00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:14,553 [glass clinking] 555 00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:15,954 - Excuse me. Listen up, listen up. 556 00:19:16,090 --> 00:19:18,757 So I know I can be a bit of a buttinsky-- 557 00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:19,825 - Come on! - No. 558 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,028 - No. - Yes, absolutely. 559 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:25,297 - But I was hoping that you guys could tolerate 560 00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:26,899 one more Thanksgiving tradition. 561 00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:28,835 I would love to go around the table 562 00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,503 and hear what everyone's thankful for. 563 00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:34,373 Okay? I'll go first, I'll go first. 564 00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:37,576 All right, I am grateful 565 00:19:37,712 --> 00:19:40,246 that you guys put up with me 566 00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:43,382 for being, um, 567 00:19:43,384 --> 00:19:45,918 a tiny bit micromanage-y. 568 00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:48,987 But just so you know, it's for your own good, okay? 569 00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:50,322 And that's it. 570 00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:52,524 - I got one, guys. - Oh, okay. 571 00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:54,526 - Things that I am thankful for: 572 00:19:54,662 --> 00:19:56,729 good health, uh, 573 00:19:56,731 --> 00:19:59,798 learning from my mistakes, 574 00:19:59,934 --> 00:20:02,268 the kindness of strangers-- 575 00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:03,802 - Ike, what--what's this? 576 00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:06,072 - I read an article about things to be thankful for 577 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,540 and wrote them down. 578 00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:08,807 - Do it from the heart. 579 00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:10,409 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. 580 00:20:10,411 --> 00:20:12,478 Um, of course. 581 00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:14,613 Uh, just off the top of my head, 582 00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:18,484 uh, things that I am personally thankful for: 583 00:20:18,619 --> 00:20:20,887 beautiful mountain streams, the ocean, 584 00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:23,155 ladybugs, sisterhood-- - Okay. Let me... 585 00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:24,857 From the heart. 586 00:20:26,694 --> 00:20:28,627 - Uh... [clears throat] 587 00:20:28,763 --> 00:20:30,763 Spoons. Like, clean spoons. 588 00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:32,498 A lot of countries don't have-- 589 00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:34,500 actually don't have clean spoons. 590 00:20:34,635 --> 00:20:35,902 - Hey, Ike. Hey, hey, hey, buddy. 591 00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:39,505 Guess what? I'm thankful for Spatchcock joining us. 592 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,639 - Joining us. That's what-- 593 00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:41,907 - Thank you, Granny. 594 00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:44,310 Wow, okay. 595 00:20:44,445 --> 00:20:46,912 I would say there are probably 596 00:20:47,047 --> 00:20:50,916 36 or 37 things I'm grateful for this year. 597 00:20:51,051 --> 00:20:54,120 [laughter] 598 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,587 Okay, number one: 599 00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:57,523 Hirschman Engineering came out with a new line 600 00:20:57,658 --> 00:20:58,925 of ball bearings this past summer. 601 00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:01,059 Now, as you know, Hirschman's typically known 602 00:21:01,061 --> 00:21:03,529 for their rod ends or their axial shafts. 603 00:21:03,664 --> 00:21:05,197 And so, when they came out with ball bearings, 604 00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:07,333 there was a bunch of us online just having a chitchat, 605 00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:09,735 going, "Can you believe what they just dropped on us?" 606 00:21:09,870 --> 00:21:14,673 'Cause Hirschman owns the patents on 45 truck parts. 607 00:21:14,675 --> 00:21:16,408 Of those 45 truck parts-- - Hi, Bernie. 608 00:21:16,544 --> 00:21:18,177 - We've been thinking about you all day. 609 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,681 - Sorry, gang. I know you really had your heart set 610 00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:25,684 on me staying for dinner, but these lovely ladies 611 00:21:25,686 --> 00:21:29,688 really, really wanna have me for dinner. 612 00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:31,190 Little something to go. 613 00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:34,760 - Ugh! - Thanks. 614 00:21:36,364 --> 00:21:37,896 Chief, one more thing. 615 00:21:38,032 --> 00:21:42,234 I took these out of your truck. 616 00:21:42,236 --> 00:21:43,769 - My spark plugs. 617 00:21:43,904 --> 00:21:45,171 - Yeah, I didn't want you to get away 618 00:21:45,306 --> 00:21:47,974 without having a chance to talk to your daughter. 619 00:21:48,108 --> 00:21:49,307 - How did you-- 620 00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,577 - I hear everything. 621 00:21:51,712 --> 00:21:53,312 All right, ladies. 622 00:21:53,447 --> 00:21:55,181 Do your worst. Uh-oh. 623 00:21:55,316 --> 00:21:57,716 [chuckles] I'm about to get punished. 624 00:21:57,852 --> 00:21:59,185 - I did not see that coming. 625 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,653 - Awoo! 626 00:22:00,655 --> 00:22:02,921 Lates! [laughs] 627 00:22:03,057 --> 00:22:05,123 Whoo! 628 00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:07,726 - This is how "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" ends? 629 00:22:07,862 --> 00:22:10,596 - Not exactly, but damn, I thought he was lying. 630 00:22:10,731 --> 00:22:12,598 - All right, enough. Let's eat. 631 00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:13,599 - Yes! - Sounds great. 632 00:22:13,734 --> 00:22:14,733 I'm gonna let the Captain 633 00:22:14,869 --> 00:22:16,535 carve the flat turkey. 634 00:22:16,671 --> 00:22:18,070 - Oh, what an honor! [alarm blaring] 635 00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:21,340 - Station 24, a fire at 707 Commerce Drive. 636 00:22:21,475 --> 00:22:23,742 It's a fried turkey fire, again. 637 00:22:23,744 --> 00:22:26,144 - Move out. 638 00:22:26,146 --> 00:22:28,881 - I'll hold down the fort, keep the food warm. 639 00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:32,618 - Finally, dinner! 640 00:22:32,753 --> 00:22:35,621 - Whoo, baby! - Ooh, yeah. 641 00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:37,423 - Whoa. Where's all the food? 642 00:22:37,558 --> 00:22:40,626 It's all gone! 643 00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:42,228 - Who ate all this? 644 00:22:44,965 --> 00:22:47,033 - Terry McConky. 645 00:22:47,167 --> 00:22:48,967 - It actually doesn't look half bad. 646 00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:51,169 - Yeah, I like the outside-the-box thinking. 647 00:22:51,171 --> 00:22:52,971 Hey, Andy, why don't you slide that pizza around? 648 00:22:53,107 --> 00:22:54,440 That part's not cooked over there. 649 00:22:54,575 --> 00:22:55,641 - Why me? 650 00:22:55,776 --> 00:22:58,377 - 'Cause I bet you'd be good at it. 651 00:22:58,512 --> 00:22:59,378 [sizzling] 652 00:22:59,513 --> 00:23:00,713 all: Aw! - Andy. 653 00:23:00,848 --> 00:23:02,448 Come on. Pay attention, pal! 654 00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:03,782 - Do it yourself next time! 655 00:23:03,918 --> 00:23:05,183 - Hey, buddy. Come here. 656 00:23:05,185 --> 00:23:06,785 - Poor guy's just having a rough day. 657 00:23:06,921 --> 00:23:08,987 [engine pops] all: Whoa! 658 00:23:09,123 --> 00:23:11,457 - Ah, crap. I hate to say it, 659 00:23:11,592 --> 00:23:13,926 but I think we're gonna have to call Spatchcock. 660 00:23:13,928 --> 00:23:16,395 [both groan] 661 00:23:16,397 --> 00:23:19,331 - Did it stink? You betcha! 662 00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:21,133 [laughter] 663 00:23:21,269 --> 00:23:23,201 - Spatchie, you're hysterical. 664 00:23:23,203 --> 00:23:26,072 [phone ringing] - Oh! 665 00:23:26,206 --> 00:23:29,207 Hey, Granny. How you doing? 666 00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:32,210 Okay, I'll be right there. 667 00:23:32,346 --> 00:23:33,946 Sorry, ladies. Duty calls. 668 00:23:34,082 --> 00:23:35,948 - But Spatchles, Pete Carroll's coming over, 669 00:23:36,084 --> 00:23:37,683 and we're supposed to have a six-way. 670 00:23:37,818 --> 00:23:39,351 - It's not gonna take too long. 671 00:23:39,353 --> 00:23:42,288 Just keep the water hot and the champagne cold. 672 00:23:42,423 --> 00:23:43,622 - Spatchie, will you do the trick 673 00:23:43,758 --> 00:23:45,824 one more time before you leave? 674 00:23:45,826 --> 00:23:47,025 - I really gotta go. 675 00:23:47,027 --> 00:23:48,627 all: Please, please, please, 676 00:23:48,763 --> 00:23:50,028 please, please, please! 677 00:23:50,030 --> 00:23:52,498 - Okay. all: Yay! 678 00:23:52,633 --> 00:23:54,366 - All right. 679 00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:55,701 [inhales deeply] 680 00:23:55,836 --> 00:23:59,005 [all cheering]