1
00:00:00,801 --> 00:00:02,335
We're gonna be late
for the parade!
2
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:03,669
- Okay. Relax, Andy.
3
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:04,937
The parade
is not going anywhere.
4
00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:06,271
- I don't want
to miss the floats.
5
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:07,540
- Nah, we're okay, buddy.
6
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,342
- Andy, why are you
so pumped up?
7
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:10,876
- Cause I love
the Thanksgiving parade.
8
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:12,611
When I was a kid,
I loved seeing
9
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,213
the engine go down the street.
10
00:00:14,349 --> 00:00:15,548
- You still sound
like a little kid.
11
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,082
- I don't know about all that,
12
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,817
but you could call me
a card-carrying
13
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,152
Parade-ophile!
14
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:21,620
[cackles]
15
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,155
- I'd be careful
how you enunciate that.
16
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,823
- Ike, come on.
Let's get moving, hurry!
17
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,359
- Okay, little buddy.
We got lots of time.
18
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:27,960
You know the parade route's
just two blocks
19
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,428
from here, right?
- Are we there yet?
20
00:00:29,564 --> 00:00:31,296
- [laughs]
- Are we there yet?
21
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,431
- All right,
we'll be there in a sec.
22
00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:34,433
- Just kidding.
Are we there yet?
23
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,302
[engine rumbles and sputters]
24
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:40,673
[clanking and rattling]
- Oh!
25
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:45,778
[hissing]
26
00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:50,649
- No, sir.
This engine's going nowhere.
27
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,518
- No, no, not today.
- Aw, I'm sorry, Andy.
28
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,120
- Well, why can't we
throw the truck in neutral?
29
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,922
I could ride on top,
and then the rest of you guys
30
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,591
could just push it down
the parade route.
31
00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,792
- We need to get
the engine fixed
32
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,326
in case we get a call.
Hey, Ike,
33
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,928
call the superintendent
of apparatus.
34
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,529
- Spatchcock? No!
35
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,531
Chief, please.
- We need to get it fixed.
36
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:07,733
- Chief, not Spatchcock.
37
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,534
Not today!
- Ike, call him.
38
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,737
- Okay.
- [huffs]
39
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,673
- Andy, don't act like a baby.
- Okay. Go easy on him, Chief.
40
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,742
He had his heart set on it.
- That's no reason to pout.
41
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,543
- Well, leave me alone!
- Hey!
42
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,013
You go cool off
in the bunk room, pal.
43
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,348
- Fine!
Stupid engine...
44
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,549
- He'll be all right,
poor fella.
45
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,018
He just needs his nap.
- Hey, Andy,
46
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,487
just remember everything
you should be thankful for.
47
00:01:28,623 --> 00:01:30,423
- Fuck you!
- Oh!
48
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:31,757
You watch that mouth,
young man!
49
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,492
- See what happens
when you give him juice?
50
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,429
- Happy Thanksgiving,
everybody.
51
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,432
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
52
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:44,503
♪ ♪
53
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,239
- ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
54
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,642
♪ Check it and see ♪
55
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:53,779
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
56
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,615
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
57
00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,653
- Well, hopefully
a blown-out engine
58
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,521
is the only problem
you guys have on Thanksgiving.
59
00:02:02,657 --> 00:02:04,123
- What could be worse?
- Don't jinx us.
60
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,858
I predict three deep-fried
turkey fires today.
61
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,660
- All right, well,
now that the parade's a bust,
62
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,328
I'm gonna head out
to the family dinner.
63
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,530
- Oh, you're leaving, Chief?
- Are you sure you don't
64
00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:12,998
want to hang out with us
this year?
65
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,199
- Nah, Vicky's working,
66
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,468
so I'm gonna join
Lucy's sisters
67
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:16,669
over at their granddad's house.
68
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,403
- Thanksgiving
with the Commish.
69
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:21,006
I've spent a lifetime trying
to avoid my dad on this day.
70
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,476
I'm glad I'm on duty.
- And I'm glad I'm not.
71
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,810
I'm gonna go change
into my civvies
72
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,211
and get outta here
before Spatchcock
73
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,013
shows up to fix that engine.
[all groan]
74
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,149
- Ugh, Spatchcock
is disgusting.
75
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,017
He's always covered
in grease and muck
76
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,752
and he's always bleeding
from somewhere.
77
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,620
- Spatchcock is always
going on and on
78
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,690
about some useless drivel. Ugh!
79
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,025
- Spatchcock.
He always makes me feel like
80
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,494
it's my fault
when anything breaks down.
81
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,496
- All right.
Well, have fun everyone.
82
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,698
- We'll miss you deeply,
Chiefy!
83
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,366
- [quietly]
Nice acting job.
84
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,302
Even I believed you wanted
Chief to stick around.
85
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:52,037
- Thank you. It really
was a masterclass, wasn't it?
86
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,307
I love him, but the best part
about working on Thanksgiving
87
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,576
is we get to do it our way,
not the Terry McConky way.
88
00:02:57,712 --> 00:02:59,578
- He can be a bit overbearing.
89
00:02:59,714 --> 00:03:01,580
At home, he makes us
wear Pilgrim hats,
90
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:04,317
play touch football,
eat all his lame dishes.
91
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:05,851
This is gonna be
my first Thanksgiving
92
00:03:05,987 --> 00:03:07,720
without all his rules,
and I am very excited.
93
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,855
- Station Thanksgiving
has no rules.
94
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:10,990
- Now you're talking!
95
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:11,991
- For dinner, we can make
96
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:12,992
whatever we want.
97
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:14,660
I'm making spaghetti pie.
98
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,395
- I'm making turkey
and stuffing, but this year,
99
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:18,531
it's a free-range
Narraganset turkey,
100
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,799
and I'm stuffing it
with crab meat
101
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,868
stuffed inside a salmon.
102
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,738
- Ooh, you're talking
about turcrabmon?
103
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,806
I just read about that
in this November's issue
104
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:30,275
of "Delicious AF."
- Yeah!
105
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,078
- See, this is the Thanksgiving
I've always dreamed of.
106
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,348
- Let's get it started
with a homemade onion dip.
107
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,883
Lucy, do me a favor
and chop some onions, please.
108
00:03:38,019 --> 00:03:39,618
- How am I already
the onion bitch?
109
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,086
- Oh, yeah.
- I'm just glad that
110
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,022
I don't have to eat
my dad's yams this year.
111
00:03:43,024 --> 00:03:44,557
I've been hiding them
in my napkin
112
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,491
and flushing them
down the toilet for ten years.
113
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,361
- But I love
a good sweet potato pie.
114
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:49,828
- Pretty sure
they're different.
115
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,697
- Sweet potatoes and yams
are the same thing.
116
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:52,631
- No, actually guys, I think
117
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,900
all sweet potatoes are yams,
118
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,103
but not all yams
are sweet potatoes.
119
00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,638
- Wrong!
120
00:03:59,774 --> 00:04:02,775
A yam is not a yam at all.
121
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,644
They're all sweet potatoes.
Ugh!
122
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,913
- Spatchcock.
- [through teeth] Spatchcock.
123
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,915
- In the 1930s, a farmer called
124
00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:12,918
a soft, orange sweet potato
a yam
125
00:04:13,054 --> 00:04:15,588
to distinguish it
from other sweet potatoes.
126
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,191
But a real yam
is a root vegetable
127
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,858
found in tropical climates.
128
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,862
So your yam
is not a yam at all!
129
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,130
You got any duct tape?
130
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,400
I sliced my thumb
on a fan blade.
131
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,734
- Come on, Spatchcock.
132
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,269
Why don't you go
wash that off, man?
133
00:04:30,405 --> 00:04:32,204
We can put a bandage on it.
- The tape's adhesive
134
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,473
binds with the motor oil,
creates a salve.
135
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,475
Most people don't know that.
136
00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:39,078
Oh, thank you there, Crysie.
137
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,947
If only you could treat
the engine with as much care.
138
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,416
- I didn't do anything to it,
Spatchcock.
139
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:47,420
- That's funny. Always seems
to happen on your watch.
140
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:48,888
Oh, dear Lord!
141
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:51,556
Young lady, you're
throwing away the best part.
142
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,759
- [groans]
143
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,361
Up to 35%
of the onion's vitamin C
144
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,830
accumulates on the ends.
145
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,299
Huh, no?
Okay, suit yourself.
146
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,834
- All right. Enjoy.
147
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,969
- She's an odd one, huh?
- Okay, Spatchcock.
148
00:05:04,105 --> 00:05:05,638
The engine's outside.
Get to work.
149
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,307
- What, do you got yourself
a free-range bird there?
150
00:05:08,443 --> 00:05:09,708
- Uh-huh.
151
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,843
- Definitely
the worst type to buy.
152
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,645
Eventually, see,
when they do face death,
153
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,380
they release
an adrenal fear hormone.
154
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,516
Makes the meat taste bitter.
155
00:05:17,652 --> 00:05:19,719
Yeah.
[squelch]
156
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,256
[gags]
Bitter.
157
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:26,058
- Shut up, Spatchcock.
The meat is great.
158
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,127
And don't you ever
touch my turkey again.
159
00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:30,463
- [gobbles]
160
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,598
Oh, the big mon!
161
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,932
How do you do?
162
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,801
Salutations, Chief.
163
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,670
- Spatchcock, how's the engine?
164
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,805
- Crystal did a number on it,
but I can fix it.
165
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,674
In the meantime,
I brought you a spare engine.
166
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,008
- Fantastic.
I gotta get going, sorry.
167
00:05:43,144 --> 00:05:45,811
- Hey, I like the ensemble.
168
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,480
You look like
you stepped right out
169
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,348
of a Norman Rockwell painting.
170
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,016
- Thank you very much.
I appreciate that.
171
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,551
- Yeah, interesting story.
172
00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:54,086
At the beginning
of World War I,
173
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:56,755
Norman Rockwell tries
to enlist in the Navy.
174
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,157
He gets rejected. Why?
175
00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:01,894
He's 17 pounds underweight.
- Fascinating--
176
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,896
- Now check this out.
What's he do?
177
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,764
He bulks up
for the next couple weeks
178
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,901
on a diet
of donuts and bananas.
179
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,769
Now I don't think
there was anything sexual,
180
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:14,106
but we all have a dark side.
181
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,041
Pretty sure
I know yours, Chief.
182
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,810
Okay, pal.
- Great.
183
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,982
- [quietly] I'll show you
a masterclass in acting.
184
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:24,116
- Enjoy!
185
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,985
- Chief, are you sure
you can't stay?
186
00:06:25,987 --> 00:06:27,520
- Oh, yeah, I gotta
get to the Commish's
187
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,854
before they carve the bird.
188
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,856
- Well, just know
that Thanksgiving's
189
00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:33,258
not gonna be the same
without you.
190
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:36,061
- Aw, don't cry.
191
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,596
My little girl doesn't
want to be away
192
00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:39,131
from her daddy on Thanksgiving.
193
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,133
What was I thinking?
Of course I'll stay.
194
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,468
I'm gonna spend the day
with my number-one girl.
195
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,870
- Oh, whoa, whoa!
Chief, Chief.
196
00:06:45,006 --> 00:06:46,539
What about
your other two daughters?
197
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,941
- Eh, I'll just call 'em and
tell 'em I'm not gonna make it.
198
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,343
- No, no, no.
You don't wanna do that.
199
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,011
'Cause then they'll be upset--
[stammers]
200
00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:54,547
- Yeah, Lucy will be fine.
- I'm fine. I'm just--
201
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,482
You know, I'm chopping onions.
- I know you're fine.
202
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,817
'Cause I'm staying.
203
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,219
I wonder if I have
those Pilgrim hats
204
00:07:00,355 --> 00:07:01,287
still in my office.
205
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,623
- Poorly played, Lucy.
206
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,025
You go get rid of him
right now.
207
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,760
- Okay, all right. I'm sorry.
[alarm blaring]
208
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,362
- Station 24,
448 Reed Boulevard.
209
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,163
Kitchen fire
from a deep-fried turkey.
210
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:13,099
- When we get back,
you're getting rid of him.
211
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,740
[hammering]
212
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:24,410
- That turkey exploded like
it was stuffed with fireworks.
213
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,945
- No salmonella there.
That bird was overcooked.
214
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,815
- Spatchcock,
how's it going down there?
215
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,684
Hope you're done soon
'cause that loaner sucks
216
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,085
compared to my baby here.
217
00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:35,487
- Yeah, how much longer?
[cranking]
218
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,023
Hey, Spatchcock,
you hear me?
219
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,425
Spatchie?
220
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,827
- Whoa! What the hell?
- Oh!
221
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,431
[cranking continues]
222
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,899
- Uh-huh.
Thought so.
223
00:07:47,035 --> 00:07:49,167
- Oops! Ah, busted.
224
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:52,104
Just helping myself
to some of your delicacies.
225
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,839
- That's my French onion dip.
226
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,242
- Oui, oui.
Could use a bit more onion.
227
00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,044
- That's a double dip?
- Yeah.
228
00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,445
- Plenty for everybody.
229
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,980
- Spatchcock, your blood
is in the bowl, man!
230
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,383
- Is it blood,
or food coloring?
231
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,718
It's blood.
232
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,053
- Let's go watch some football.
- Ugh!
233
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,588
- Yeah.
- Yeah, get out of here.
234
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,390
Busy, busy.
235
00:08:11,392 --> 00:08:13,726
- [sighs]
236
00:08:13,728 --> 00:08:15,261
[TV chatter]
237
00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:17,329
- Hey, Chief, we were
gonna watch some football.
238
00:08:17,465 --> 00:08:18,597
- Lucy knows the routine.
239
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,733
Parade first, then football.
240
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,068
Don't worry.
I taped the game.
241
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,335
- Why didn't you
tape the parade
242
00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:24,536
and watch the game live?
243
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,738
- Parades are way better live!
244
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:26,939
Andy, you love parades!
245
00:08:27,075 --> 00:08:28,807
- I love riding in parades.
246
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,076
Watching a parade on TV
247
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,810
is for little kids
and psychopaths.
248
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,345
- Hey, simmer down, pal.
- What?
249
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,614
- Here's Buzz Lightyear.
He's in that toy movie.
250
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:36,815
About the story about the toys.
251
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,350
I can't remember
the name of it.
252
00:08:38,486 --> 00:08:41,887
Be careful with those ropes!
He might really fly away.
253
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,622
- Man, I bet my little sisters
are so bummed
254
00:08:43,758 --> 00:08:45,624
they don't get to watch
the parade with you this year.
255
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,893
- No, I talked to them; they're
fine with me being here.
256
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,095
- You guys,
let's get cleaned up
257
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,829
and get ready
for the Turkey giveaway.
258
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,164
- Hey, the cast of
"King Kong: The Musical"
259
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,567
is on after the commercial.
- Uh-huh.
260
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,635
- Okay.
- What's that?
261
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:57,970
- It's my carving set.
262
00:08:57,972 --> 00:08:59,438
I brought it for dinner
at the Commish's,
263
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,839
but now I'm just
gonna use it here.
264
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,374
[blade scraping]
265
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,510
- I carve the turkey here.
- Not when I'm around.
266
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,244
I carve the turkey.
It's tradition.
267
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,513
- Terry, this isn't your house.
268
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,047
I'm carving the turkey here.
269
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,717
- I'm the Chief.
I carve the turkey, Captain.
270
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,786
[chuckles]
271
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,455
Super sharp.
272
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:20,459
- Uncle Eddie, I tried.
273
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,795
- Well, try harder.
Because there's no way
274
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,731
he's gonna stab
my turcrabmon!
275
00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:34,941
- You guys, man.
276
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,344
He's making engine pizza
out of our scraps.
277
00:09:38,479 --> 00:09:40,146
Hey, Spatchcock,
you know you can use
278
00:09:40,281 --> 00:09:41,948
the stove inside,
if you want.
279
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,882
- Thanks, Granny,
but actually I prefer this.
280
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,283
It's a technique
my wife taught me.
281
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,618
She was a long-haul trucker.
282
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,355
Cooked many a-engine pizza
in her days.
283
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:50,957
- Okay...
284
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,224
- You guys,
we should invite him
285
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,826
to stay with us for dinner.
286
00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:55,227
- No way!
Are you kidding me? No.
287
00:09:55,363 --> 00:09:57,095
- Yeah, he can have dinner
with his wife.
288
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,965
- Haven't you seen "Planes,
Trains and Automobiles"?
289
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,899
His wife's probably dead!
- I haven't seen it.
290
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,168
And you just ruined it.
- I'm serious.
291
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,636
His wife's probably dead.
292
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,504
He's probably very alone
right now.
293
00:10:05,506 --> 00:10:07,039
- You're right.
My wife is dead.
294
00:10:07,175 --> 00:10:08,975
- Oh, you--I'm sorry, man.
295
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,977
You could hear us?
- Yeah, I hear everything.
296
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,645
She died a couple years back.
297
00:10:12,647 --> 00:10:14,780
Logging accident.
298
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,248
Yes, it was her fault.
- Hey, man.
299
00:10:16,384 --> 00:10:19,185
Look, we're really sorry
to hear about that.
300
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,587
And with that being said,
we'd like to invite you
301
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,121
to join us for dinner.
302
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,191
- You're sweeter
than a honeycrisp, Granny,
303
00:10:25,326 --> 00:10:27,393
but, uh, actually
already have plans
304
00:10:27,528 --> 00:10:29,127
with my girlfriend.
305
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:29,996
Who's a model.
306
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,130
Yeah, and her twin sister,
307
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,667
and we're gonna
probably hot tub
308
00:10:34,669 --> 00:10:36,869
and, uh, shave each other.
309
00:10:36,871 --> 00:10:38,470
- Okay, cool.
See? He's not available.
310
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,138
He's gonna be in a hot tub
with two twins
311
00:10:40,274 --> 00:10:41,740
and they're gonna
shave each other.
312
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,410
- Keep an eye on the pizza.
313
00:10:44,545 --> 00:10:47,079
I'm gonna go steal some cheese
from that spa-gah-ti pie.
314
00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:49,415
Spa-gah-ti!
That's how you say it.
315
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,017
- It's obvious that
he has too much pride
316
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,819
to admit that
he has nowhere to go.
317
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,354
I say,
over the course of the day,
318
00:10:55,356 --> 00:10:57,356
we secretly break equipment
for him to fix,
319
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,891
and then,
by the time he's done,
320
00:10:59,027 --> 00:11:00,626
it'll be easy for him to stay.
321
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,428
- Pfft, lame!
- Hey.
322
00:11:02,563 --> 00:11:04,430
- Why don't you grow up
and start thinking
323
00:11:04,565 --> 00:11:06,965
about other people
instead of yourself, mister?
324
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,035
- Okay, listen.
I'll do it.
325
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,037
But only because
I like breaking stuff.
326
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,838
- Scatter! Hurry, scatter!
- What?
327
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,107
- Hurry! Come on! Go, go, go!
He's coming. He's coming.
328
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,576
- Hey, who's ready
for some football?
329
00:11:17,578 --> 00:11:20,312
- Chief, right now
isn't a good time.
330
00:11:20,314 --> 00:11:22,381
- Hey, Captain, button hook.
- Come on, Terry.
331
00:11:22,383 --> 00:11:23,716
My hands are covered
with Crisco.
332
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,584
- I'm going long.
333
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:26,985
Come on.
Whip it.
334
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,654
- Dad! Dad!
- What are you doing?
335
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,389
all: Oh!
- Dad, are you okay?
336
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,191
- Hey. Hey, man.
- I'm okay.
337
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,662
Hey, touchdown!
[sighs]
338
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,065
Okay. I didn't hurt my back,
so I consider that a victory.
339
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,999
- How about that
flattened turkey down there?
340
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,935
- This one?
Oh, boy.
341
00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:45,404
Oh, yeah.
It's a little squished, huh?
342
00:11:45,406 --> 00:11:47,139
It'll be okay.
Just rub some dirt in it.
343
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,741
Right, guys? Hey!
344
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,209
All right, who's up?
Somebody go for a pass.
345
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:52,745
Oh, shit. My back.
- All right, I'll go.
346
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,448
- Here you go--
oh, fuck.
347
00:12:01,489 --> 00:12:04,222
You making mashed potatoes?
- Mm-hmm.
348
00:12:04,358 --> 00:12:06,358
- You know the key
to good mashed potatoes?
349
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,094
Butter.
The more butter, the better.
350
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,495
That's what I always say.
351
00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,430
- I'm not making
traditional mashed potatoes.
352
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,032
This recipe calls for soy milk
and parmesan cheese.
353
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,834
- Ah, gross.
354
00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:18,504
You stir like a caveman.
355
00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:21,507
Is that crab meat?
- Yes.
356
00:12:21,642 --> 00:12:23,375
- In your stuffing?
- Yes.
357
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:25,043
- Crab meat stuffing?
- You know,
358
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,712
if you don't like it,
you don't have to eat it.
359
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,246
- We should try Stove Top.
360
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,582
- Oh, God.
What are you, six years old?
361
00:12:29,717 --> 00:12:31,183
- You've never let us
have it before,
362
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,318
and I've always wanted
to try it.
363
00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:33,385
- Let me tell you something:
364
00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:34,920
stuffing is a delicacy,
365
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,522
and it deserves
delicious accents
366
00:12:36,657 --> 00:12:38,791
like pecans or figs.
367
00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:39,926
Ooh, or apples!
368
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,128
I'm gonna get you apples.
369
00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:43,929
- I would hide that turkey
right now.
370
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,132
He's gonna give you ten
suggestions on how to cook it.
371
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,666
And that's before he sees
372
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,802
that you've stuffed it
with salmon and crab.
373
00:12:49,938 --> 00:12:51,304
- Get rid of him!
374
00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:55,407
- Well, I couldn't
find any apples,
375
00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:57,209
but I got raisins.
Next best thing, right?
376
00:12:57,345 --> 00:12:59,011
- Dad, maybe you should
let him make what he wants.
377
00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:01,347
- This looks like leftover
night at the United Nations.
378
00:13:01,482 --> 00:13:03,215
- Dad, if you want
a traditional Thanksgiving,
379
00:13:03,351 --> 00:13:04,616
then go over
to Grandpa's house.
380
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,152
We don't have any
of that stuff here.
381
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,753
- Oh, I do.
It's in my truck.
382
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,688
I was gonna bring it
to your granddad's house.
383
00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:11,423
Go out to my truck.
I got canned corn,
384
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:13,492
canned cranberries,
canned gravy.
385
00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:15,894
Oh, and your favorite,
canned yams, huh?
386
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:19,097
Go ahead.
Quick like a bunny.
387
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,500
Meanwhile,
I'm gonna raisin this up.
388
00:13:21,636 --> 00:13:23,369
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm adding raisins.
389
00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:25,371
The more wrinkled the raisin,
the sweeter the fruit.
390
00:13:25,506 --> 00:13:29,041
- You pick those
out of there right now.
391
00:13:29,177 --> 00:13:30,643
[clattering]
392
00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:32,578
- Why am I the one that needs
to squeeze back here?
393
00:13:32,713 --> 00:13:34,580
- 'Cause you're smaller
than we are.
394
00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,650
If we sabotage the air ducts,
then maybe I'll do it, okay?
395
00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:39,385
Just don't be a baby
about it, Andy.
396
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,119
[explosion]
- [yelps]
397
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,488
- Ooh, busted.
398
00:13:43,992 --> 00:13:45,858
- Washing machine down.
399
00:13:45,994 --> 00:13:47,059
- Good job, little buddy.
400
00:13:47,195 --> 00:13:48,995
- You made that washer
unusable.
401
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,196
I'm gonna go tell Spatchcock.
402
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,998
- Chief.
Hey, Chief, Chief.
403
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,066
Chief, Chief, Chief, Chief.
404
00:13:54,202 --> 00:13:56,202
You know, if they really
wanna fix football,
405
00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:58,204
they ought to hang a tire
from the goal post.
406
00:13:58,339 --> 00:14:00,006
If you kick the ball
through it, 75 points.
407
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,273
That'd be a game.
408
00:14:01,409 --> 00:14:02,875
- Don't you have something
to go fix?
409
00:14:02,877 --> 00:14:04,610
- Trying to fix football.
410
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:06,144
- Hey, Spatchcock.
411
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,479
Our washing machine
is acting up.
412
00:14:07,615 --> 00:14:09,081
You think you could
take a look at it?
413
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,416
- You guys are
a bunch of clowns.
414
00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:11,750
- Right on.
415
00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:12,885
Okay, all right.
416
00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,753
Okay, Jesus.
417
00:14:14,889 --> 00:14:16,889
- You should trim the ends
of those beans.
418
00:14:17,025 --> 00:14:18,957
Adds more flavor.
419
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,293
- We need this guy outta here.
He's gonna ruin our whole day.
420
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,895
[alarm blaring]
- Station 24.
421
00:14:23,031 --> 00:14:25,364
Fire at 3002 Pembroke Avenue.
422
00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:28,567
Deep-fried turkey accident.
423
00:14:28,703 --> 00:14:31,169
- Hey, sorry. I'd join you,
but I'm off-duty.
424
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,771
And I just cracked number two.
425
00:14:32,773 --> 00:14:34,506
- Yeah, I can tell
by your bar tan.
426
00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:36,174
Don't worry.
You just relax.
427
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,176
And do me a favor and man
the turkey giveaway table
428
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,512
while we're gone.
- Will do.
429
00:14:40,648 --> 00:14:42,180
Oh, come on.
He jumped.
430
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,482
He jumped!
431
00:14:45,386 --> 00:14:46,853
There you go.
That's a heavy one.
432
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,788
15-pounder. Happy holiday, sir.
Thank you.
433
00:14:49,924 --> 00:14:52,458
Hi, how are ya?
434
00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:54,192
Hmm.
435
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,128
Looks a little banged up, huh?
436
00:14:56,264 --> 00:14:58,997
Maybe we could find you
another one.
437
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:02,735
I'm not sure if maybe--
438
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,203
oh, I got one over here.
439
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,806
Ah, look at this.
440
00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:09,675
Oh, it's heavy.
441
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,811
Hey, keep the pan.
- Thank you.
442
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,215
Oh, yeah.
443
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,484
Don't you worry,
my flat friend.
444
00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:21,019
We will find a home for you.
445
00:15:21,155 --> 00:15:22,288
Okay.
446
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:28,026
[brakes squealing]
Gonna watch some football!
447
00:15:28,162 --> 00:15:29,895
- Ooh, baby!
Gotta tell you.
448
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,098
That repaired engine
was purring like a kitten.
449
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:33,566
It felt great.
450
00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:36,168
- Thanks, Crystal.
Let's keep it that way.
451
00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:37,303
- Yeah, you bet.
452
00:15:37,438 --> 00:15:38,504
- Hoo-hoo!
453
00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:40,773
Can't wait to get my bird
in the oven.
454
00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:42,308
Where's my turkey?
455
00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:44,242
- Might wanna ask the Chief.
456
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,045
- Nobody cooks my turkey
but me.
457
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:48,647
- Oh, brother.
458
00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:51,183
- Time out, time out.
Call timeout! Come on.
459
00:15:51,319 --> 00:15:53,319
- Where's my turkey?
- What turkey?
460
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:54,853
- Spatchcock says you took it.
461
00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:56,789
- Speaking of turkeys,
when's that guy gonna leave?
462
00:15:56,924 --> 00:15:59,458
- What's this?
- Oh, that's a smushed one.
463
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:00,793
I figured we could use it
to round out
464
00:16:00,795 --> 00:16:02,594
our traditional
Thanksgiving dinner.
465
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:04,730
- I bought an expensive,
free-range, Narraganset turkey,
466
00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:06,398
and I had it out there
on the app floor.
467
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,733
What happened to it?
- That's where we keep
468
00:16:07,868 --> 00:16:09,802
the giveaways.
Why would you put it there?
469
00:16:09,804 --> 00:16:12,070
- So you wouldn't mess with it.
- Well, you should've put it
470
00:16:12,206 --> 00:16:13,472
somewhere else.
It's gone.
471
00:16:13,607 --> 00:16:15,073
- But I stuffed it
with crab and salmon.
472
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,243
- Sounds gross.
That woman's gonna be bummed.
473
00:16:18,746 --> 00:16:20,879
- [chuckles]
Tape ain't gonna cut it
474
00:16:20,881 --> 00:16:23,081
for a big head like me.
I need my stapler.
475
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,617
- Enough is enough. It's time
to just come out and tell him.
476
00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:27,153
- What am I supposed to say?
477
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,887
- He is ruining
our Thanksgiving.
478
00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:30,823
- Pfft, Spatchcock.
479
00:16:30,959 --> 00:16:32,491
- But he's my dad.
I can't just tell him
480
00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:34,827
we don't want him around.
481
00:16:34,829 --> 00:16:36,362
Did you know that
the guys are actually
482
00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:38,096
trying to get Spatchcock
to stay?
483
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,565
- Spatchcock? Why?
484
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:41,233
- They think
it'd be a good gesture.
485
00:16:41,369 --> 00:16:43,636
- [chuckles]
Think of the irony of that.
486
00:16:43,771 --> 00:16:45,371
Trying to get the Chief
to leave
487
00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,373
and Spatchcock to stay.
488
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,775
Who woulda thunk it?
[laughter]
489
00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:51,844
- All right.
I'll tell him.
490
00:16:51,846 --> 00:16:52,812
- Okay.
491
00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,182
- Dad.
492
00:16:56,317 --> 00:16:58,718
No, look.
Can I--can I explain?
493
00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,988
Dad, hold on.
494
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,722
Dad, wait.
- Gotta go.
495
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:06,124
Gonna be late for dinner
with your sisters.
496
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:08,727
- Dad, come on.
497
00:17:08,729 --> 00:17:11,329
Dad.
[car sputtering]
498
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,733
Hey, can we just talk?
499
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:16,869
Dad?
500
00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:19,405
- I can't hear you.
- Okay, okay.
501
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,074
Well, can you
roll the window down?
502
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:23,609
- I can't roll the window down.
503
00:17:23,744 --> 00:17:25,744
- I thought
you couldn't hear me.
504
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:26,979
- [grumbles]
505
00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,617
I just had this truck serviced.
506
00:17:31,752 --> 00:17:33,151
- Dad, please stay.
507
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,820
- Shouldn't you be saying that
to Spatchcock?
508
00:17:34,955 --> 00:17:36,755
Sounds like he's the one
you want to stay.
509
00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:38,824
- I'm sorry. I should've
said something sooner.
510
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,492
I love your traditions,
but this was
511
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,627
my first Station Thanksgiving
512
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:43,229
and I was excited about it.
513
00:17:43,364 --> 00:17:44,630
Because it was mine,
and, you know,
514
00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:46,498
I get to be one of the guys.
515
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,900
- Well, why'd you cry
when I was leaving?
516
00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:49,501
- Because
I was chopping onions.
517
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,503
- Let that be a lesson to you.
518
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,039
Only use canned onions.
- Dad--
519
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,306
- You know, I was excited
520
00:17:54,442 --> 00:17:55,908
for your first
Station Thanksgiving too.
521
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,977
- Please stay.
- I know where I'm not welcome.
522
00:17:58,979 --> 00:17:59,912
- Dad!
523
00:18:01,115 --> 00:18:02,849
[car sputtering]
Dad.
524
00:18:02,983 --> 00:18:04,350
Seriously?
525
00:18:13,361 --> 00:18:15,093
- This turkey is bullshit.
526
00:18:15,229 --> 00:18:16,562
There's no cavity anymore.
527
00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:18,631
It could never have held
a crab-stuffed salmon.
528
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:20,699
- I don't think it's bullshit.
529
00:18:20,701 --> 00:18:22,368
I think it's gonna be
a delicious turcrabmon,
530
00:18:22,503 --> 00:18:25,571
even if it's not stuffed with
salmon and crab or whatever.
531
00:18:25,706 --> 00:18:27,506
- It won't be turcrabmon
without it.
532
00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:28,774
That's what the "crab"
and the "mon"
533
00:18:28,909 --> 00:18:31,377
in the name means.
- Oh, right.
534
00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:33,179
Ah, man.
Yeah, we thought it was, like,
535
00:18:33,314 --> 00:18:34,647
named after the guy
who invented it,
536
00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:36,915
like Ignatius Turcrabmon,
or something.
537
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,318
- Who's "we"?
- We all did.
538
00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:41,253
- How'd it go?
- Not great.
539
00:18:41,255 --> 00:18:42,521
- Yo, the washing machine
is fixed,
540
00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:44,790
but I don't see Spatchcock
anywhere.
541
00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:45,825
[door opens]
542
00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:49,728
- Room for one more?
543
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:51,263
- Yes.
all: Hey!
544
00:18:51,399 --> 00:18:53,399
- Yeah, man.
Get in here!
545
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:56,468
- Hey, how about another?
546
00:18:56,604 --> 00:18:58,537
- You know it!
all: Yeah.
547
00:18:58,673 --> 00:19:00,939
[all speaking at once]
548
00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:01,941
- The Cock!
549
00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,944
- Why does Spatchcock get
to sit at the big table
550
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:07,413
and I have to sit here
all by myself?
551
00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,147
- Shh, stop.
Because he's our guest.
552
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,483
Do you wanna have our guest
sit alone over here?
553
00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:12,885
- Yeah.
- Hey, cut it out.
554
00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:14,553
[glass clinking]
555
00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:15,954
- Excuse me.
Listen up, listen up.
556
00:19:16,090 --> 00:19:18,757
So I know I can be
a bit of a buttinsky--
557
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:19,825
- Come on!
- No.
558
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,028
- No.
- Yes, absolutely.
559
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:25,297
- But I was hoping that
you guys could tolerate
560
00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:26,899
one more
Thanksgiving tradition.
561
00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:28,835
I would love to go
around the table
562
00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,503
and hear
what everyone's thankful for.
563
00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:34,373
Okay? I'll go first,
I'll go first.
564
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:37,576
All right, I am grateful
565
00:19:37,712 --> 00:19:40,246
that you guys put up with me
566
00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:43,382
for being, um,
567
00:19:43,384 --> 00:19:45,918
a tiny bit micromanage-y.
568
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:48,987
But just so you know,
it's for your own good, okay?
569
00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:50,322
And that's it.
570
00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:52,524
- I got one, guys.
- Oh, okay.
571
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:54,526
- Things that
I am thankful for:
572
00:19:54,662 --> 00:19:56,729
good health, uh,
573
00:19:56,731 --> 00:19:59,798
learning from my mistakes,
574
00:19:59,934 --> 00:20:02,268
the kindness of strangers--
575
00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:03,802
- Ike, what--what's this?
576
00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:06,072
- I read an article about
things to be thankful for
577
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,540
and wrote them down.
578
00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:08,807
- Do it from the heart.
579
00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:10,409
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
580
00:20:10,411 --> 00:20:12,478
Um, of course.
581
00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:14,613
Uh, just off
the top of my head,
582
00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:18,484
uh, things that I am
personally thankful for:
583
00:20:18,619 --> 00:20:20,887
beautiful mountain streams,
the ocean,
584
00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:23,155
ladybugs, sisterhood--
- Okay. Let me...
585
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:24,857
From the heart.
586
00:20:26,694 --> 00:20:28,627
- Uh...
[clears throat]
587
00:20:28,763 --> 00:20:30,763
Spoons.
Like, clean spoons.
588
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:32,498
A lot of countries don't have--
589
00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:34,500
actually don't have
clean spoons.
590
00:20:34,635 --> 00:20:35,902
- Hey, Ike.
Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
591
00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:39,505
Guess what? I'm thankful
for Spatchcock joining us.
592
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,639
- Joining us.
That's what--
593
00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:41,907
- Thank you, Granny.
594
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:44,310
Wow, okay.
595
00:20:44,445 --> 00:20:46,912
I would say there are probably
596
00:20:47,047 --> 00:20:50,916
36 or 37 things
I'm grateful for this year.
597
00:20:51,051 --> 00:20:54,120
[laughter]
598
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,587
Okay, number one:
599
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:57,523
Hirschman Engineering
came out with a new line
600
00:20:57,658 --> 00:20:58,925
of ball bearings
this past summer.
601
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:01,059
Now, as you know,
Hirschman's typically known
602
00:21:01,061 --> 00:21:03,529
for their rod ends
or their axial shafts.
603
00:21:03,664 --> 00:21:05,197
And so, when they came out
with ball bearings,
604
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:07,333
there was a bunch of us online
just having a chitchat,
605
00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:09,735
going, "Can you believe
what they just dropped on us?"
606
00:21:09,870 --> 00:21:14,673
'Cause Hirschman owns
the patents on 45 truck parts.
607
00:21:14,675 --> 00:21:16,408
Of those 45 truck parts--
- Hi, Bernie.
608
00:21:16,544 --> 00:21:18,177
- We've been thinking about you
all day.
609
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,681
- Sorry, gang. I know
you really had your heart set
610
00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:25,684
on me staying for dinner,
but these lovely ladies
611
00:21:25,686 --> 00:21:29,688
really, really wanna have me
for dinner.
612
00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:31,190
Little something to go.
613
00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:34,760
- Ugh!
- Thanks.
614
00:21:36,364 --> 00:21:37,896
Chief, one more thing.
615
00:21:38,032 --> 00:21:42,234
I took these out of your truck.
616
00:21:42,236 --> 00:21:43,769
- My spark plugs.
617
00:21:43,904 --> 00:21:45,171
- Yeah, I didn't want you
to get away
618
00:21:45,306 --> 00:21:47,974
without having a chance
to talk to your daughter.
619
00:21:48,108 --> 00:21:49,307
- How did you--
620
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,577
- I hear everything.
621
00:21:51,712 --> 00:21:53,312
All right, ladies.
622
00:21:53,447 --> 00:21:55,181
Do your worst.
Uh-oh.
623
00:21:55,316 --> 00:21:57,716
[chuckles]
I'm about to get punished.
624
00:21:57,852 --> 00:21:59,185
- I did not see that coming.
625
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,653
- Awoo!
626
00:22:00,655 --> 00:22:02,921
Lates!
[laughs]
627
00:22:03,057 --> 00:22:05,123
Whoo!
628
00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:07,726
- This is how "Planes,
Trains and Automobiles" ends?
629
00:22:07,862 --> 00:22:10,596
- Not exactly, but damn,
I thought he was lying.
630
00:22:10,731 --> 00:22:12,598
- All right, enough.
Let's eat.
631
00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:13,599
- Yes!
- Sounds great.
632
00:22:13,734 --> 00:22:14,733
I'm gonna let the Captain
633
00:22:14,869 --> 00:22:16,535
carve the flat turkey.
634
00:22:16,671 --> 00:22:18,070
- Oh, what an honor!
[alarm blaring]
635
00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:21,340
- Station 24, a fire
at 707 Commerce Drive.
636
00:22:21,475 --> 00:22:23,742
It's a fried turkey fire,
again.
637
00:22:23,744 --> 00:22:26,144
- Move out.
638
00:22:26,146 --> 00:22:28,881
- I'll hold down the fort,
keep the food warm.
639
00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:32,618
- Finally, dinner!
640
00:22:32,753 --> 00:22:35,621
- Whoo, baby!
- Ooh, yeah.
641
00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:37,423
- Whoa.
Where's all the food?
642
00:22:37,558 --> 00:22:40,626
It's all gone!
643
00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:42,228
- Who ate all this?
644
00:22:44,965 --> 00:22:47,033
- Terry McConky.
645
00:22:47,167 --> 00:22:48,967
- It actually
doesn't look half bad.
646
00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:51,169
- Yeah, I like
the outside-the-box thinking.
647
00:22:51,171 --> 00:22:52,971
Hey, Andy, why don't you
slide that pizza around?
648
00:22:53,107 --> 00:22:54,440
That part's not cooked
over there.
649
00:22:54,575 --> 00:22:55,641
- Why me?
650
00:22:55,776 --> 00:22:58,377
- 'Cause I bet
you'd be good at it.
651
00:22:58,512 --> 00:22:59,378
[sizzling]
652
00:22:59,513 --> 00:23:00,713
all: Aw!
- Andy.
653
00:23:00,848 --> 00:23:02,448
Come on.
Pay attention, pal!
654
00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:03,782
- Do it yourself next time!
655
00:23:03,918 --> 00:23:05,183
- Hey, buddy.
Come here.
656
00:23:05,185 --> 00:23:06,785
- Poor guy's
just having a rough day.
657
00:23:06,921 --> 00:23:08,987
[engine pops]
all: Whoa!
658
00:23:09,123 --> 00:23:11,457
- Ah, crap.
I hate to say it,
659
00:23:11,592 --> 00:23:13,926
but I think we're gonna have
to call Spatchcock.
660
00:23:13,928 --> 00:23:16,395
[both groan]
661
00:23:16,397 --> 00:23:19,331
- Did it stink?
You betcha!
662
00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:21,133
[laughter]
663
00:23:21,269 --> 00:23:23,201
- Spatchie, you're hysterical.
664
00:23:23,203 --> 00:23:26,072
[phone ringing]
- Oh!
665
00:23:26,206 --> 00:23:29,207
Hey, Granny.
How you doing?
666
00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:32,210
Okay, I'll be right there.
667
00:23:32,346 --> 00:23:33,946
Sorry, ladies.
Duty calls.
668
00:23:34,082 --> 00:23:35,948
- But Spatchles,
Pete Carroll's coming over,
669
00:23:36,084 --> 00:23:37,683
and we're supposed
to have a six-way.
670
00:23:37,818 --> 00:23:39,351
- It's not gonna take too long.
671
00:23:39,353 --> 00:23:42,288
Just keep the water hot
and the champagne cold.
672
00:23:42,423 --> 00:23:43,622
- Spatchie,
will you do the trick
673
00:23:43,758 --> 00:23:45,824
one more time before you leave?
674
00:23:45,826 --> 00:23:47,025
- I really gotta go.
675
00:23:47,027 --> 00:23:48,627
all: Please, please, please,
676
00:23:48,763 --> 00:23:50,028
please, please, please!
677
00:23:50,030 --> 00:23:52,498
- Okay.
all: Yay!
678
00:23:52,633 --> 00:23:54,366
- All right.
679
00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:55,701
[inhales deeply]
680
00:23:55,836 --> 00:23:59,005
[all cheering]