1
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,287
Hey there.
2
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,071
- I got a call
about a female Caucasian
3
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:31,031
looking to go bootscootin'
on a Saturday night.
4
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:34,077
- Guilty as charged.
- Hop in.
5
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:39,082
My dad would kill me
6
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,041
if he knew I was going
on a date with a cop.
7
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,912
My dad's the police captain.
8
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:45,610
He'd kill me if he knew I was
going out with a firefighter,
9
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,438
and then I'd have
to arrest him.
10
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:52,704
- You know the best part
about going out with a cop is?
11
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,706
No red lights.
12
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,933
Oh!
You like that?
13
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:11,201
Whoo-hoo!
14
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,487
- Holy Spicoli.
Look at the time.
15
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:39,751
I got a big day planned
with my Mini Firefighter Buddy.
16
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,405
- You signed up to be
a Big Firefighter Buddy?
17
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,234
- That's right.
I'm officially a BFB.
18
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,975
- Oh yeah,
I heard of that program.
19
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:47,672
That's where they get
a firefighter to mentor some,
20
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,457
like, "troubled youth"
or whatever, right?
21
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,023
- I've wanted to do this
for a long time
22
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,503
to make a difference
23
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,157
in the life of a kid
from a broken home.
24
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,942
- Yeah, and it's a great way
to meet single moms,
25
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:59,380
you know what I--what?
26
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,557
And help a troubled kid.
Come on, two birds, one stone.
27
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,515
- Well, what happens
if the kid is a bad seed?
28
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:06,778
Do you get to do that whole
"Scared Straight" situation?
29
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,998
- Oh, baby,
I would love to see that.
30
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,608
Drill Sergeant Granfield Smith
31
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,958
laying down some tough love
on some punk!
32
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:15,396
Drop and give me 20, boy, now!
33
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,441
- Is that a doughnut
in your foot locker, soldier?
34
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:18,486
Chop 'em, Andy.
35
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:19,704
- Pow!
- Boom!
36
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,402
- No.
- Bam!
37
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,143
- No, troubled kids need
someone who can relate to them,
38
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,796
offer up some
supportive encouragement.
39
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,233
- Boring.
- Seriously.
40
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,973
Give me a heads up
if you're gonna
41
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,627
give him the old hose-down.
I'll make some popcorn.
42
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,455
- Now you're talking.
- There you go.
43
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,936
- Oh.
44
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,720
- Hey, Delilah.
- Okay.
45
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:36,852
- Hey, Delilah.
- Hey, Delilah.
46
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,768
Lucy's not here yet?
47
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:42,727
- Whoa, you look like
a pink puffer fish.
48
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,208
- Yeah, how much cotton candy
died to make that thing?
49
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,949
I know I look terrible.
50
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,646
My sister's getting married,
and I'm maid of honor
51
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,561
if Lucy ever gets here
to relieve me.
52
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,433
- Delilah, I'm sure Lucy's
stuck in traffic.
53
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,565
- She'll be here any second.
- Let's hope so.
54
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,828
- But in the meantime,
I do need to ask you to change
55
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,961
back into your blues
in case we get a call.
56
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:03,226
- Sorry.
- No problem.
57
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,359
- And there's also a pumpkin
that needs to be turned...
58
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,838
- Ha, ha, ha, ha!
God, Andy.
59
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,492
- Into a carriage.
- She wouldn't let you
60
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,190
- finish it.
- Yeah.
61
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,634
Hey!
62
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:24,073
Help!
63
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:26,597
Hey!
Hey!
64
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:29,034
- Damn it.
- Somebody!
65
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,472
Help!
66
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:35,867
Help!
Help!
67
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:42,134
- I still can't believe
you broke the window.
68
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,702
- What else
was I supposed to do?
69
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,356
Our legs are pinned in.
70
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,839
We still
don't have any service.
71
00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:52,710
Someone has to find us
soon though, right?
72
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:55,235
- There's a reason this is
my number one make out spot.
73
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:58,020
It's because
no one comes up here.
74
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,240
- Yeah, wow,
that makes me feel special.
75
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,024
I'm so hungry!
76
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,853
Oh, God, you don't have
anything in your purse, like,
77
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:07,682
even, like, a power drink
like Brute Force Fuel.
78
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,466
- No, I don't carry
Brute Force Fuel.
79
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,902
- It doesn't have
to be Brute Force Fuel.
80
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,643
It could be Mega Force Fuel.
81
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:16,908
- I don't have any kind
of force fuels in my purse.
82
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:20,347
- Ugh!
- Oh, I do have these.
83
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,567
- Way to bury the lede!
Brownies?
84
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,177
- Oh, no, no, no.
- My favorite.
85
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,527
Are you kidding me?
86
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,442
- Those are pot brownies.
- For reals?
87
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:30,270
- They were left over
from a concert I went to.
88
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,575
Yeah, no judgment here.
89
00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:33,142
I don't care.
I'm just hungry.
90
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,970
- No, I just don't think
it's a good idea.
91
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,841
We're, like, stuck in a car
in a ditch with no way out.
92
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,190
I just--
93
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,670
- Uh, I've had
edibles before, okay?
94
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,630
- I wasn't born a cop.
- Okay.
95
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,678
Ooh, I do have mints.
You want a--
96
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:51,595
- Mmm.
I'm a big boy, okay?
97
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:55,120
I'm gonna be all right.
These are good.
98
00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:57,427
- Hey, Shorty.
It's Delilah.
99
00:04:57,471 --> 00:05:01,126
Um, I was wondering if you
could come in and cover for me.
100
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,564
Yeah, Lucy didn't show up,
and it's sort of screwing me
101
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:07,176
'cause--you don't care.
Don't yell at me.
102
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,309
Okay, I get it.
Bye.
103
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:11,354
God!
Lucy's killing me.
104
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,138
Even if she gets here
in the next half hour,
105
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,967
I still gotta redo my makeup,
put the dress back on,
106
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,926
and practice "Uptown Funk"
with the bridesmaids.
107
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,754
That's gonna take,
like, two hours.
108
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:21,233
- She wouldn't do this
on purpose.
109
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:23,758
I'm starting to get worried.
110
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:26,587
Oh, that gag fire extinguisher
we built.
111
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:27,718
- No way.
- Yeah.
112
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,154
I wonder if it still works.
113
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:35,683
- Make that three hours.
- Sorry about that.
114
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,772
- Oh, man,
my Mini Firefighter Buddy
115
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,164
should be here any second,
116
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,731
and I can't wait
to help a kid in need.
117
00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,342
- Oh, Granny,
you know what we should do?
118
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,605
Get the kid to do
the inventory for us, right?
119
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,737
- We'll whip his ass into shape.
- Come on, Ike.
120
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,217
It's not about
whipping him into shape.
121
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,653
It's about connecting
to his heart, man.
122
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,220
There's no such thing
as a bad kid.
123
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:54,005
- Just a bad role model.
- Ah, good point, Granny.
124
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,834
- Right?
- Okay, well, oh, here you go.
125
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,403
Oh, shit.
126
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,666
It's Hunter,
the kid from the well.
127
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,494
- The kid
who hosed Linda Price.
128
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:05,843
The kid from the toy drive.
129
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,541
Got himself
a soccer mom haircut.
130
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,064
'Sup, douche buckets?
131
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,544
- Hunter,
you're my Mini Firefighter?
132
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,415
- Yeah, because
my stupid mom made me.
133
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:15,853
- Well, call me Granny.
I'm your BFB.
134
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:18,378
- If by BFB, you mean,
"bzoring fucking bzitch,"
135
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:19,422
then I guess you are.
136
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,945
- There it goes.
- Wow.
137
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:22,947
No such thing
as a bad kid, huh?
138
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,863
- Eat a dick, nerd.
- Hey.
139
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,865
This is gonna be fun.
140
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,258
Where the hell is she?
141
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,955
- I think Lucy
probably slept over
142
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,435
at a friend's house
and forgot to set the alarm.
143
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,045
Like, a girlfriend's house?
144
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,874
- Or a boyfriend's.
- She's not with a guy.
145
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,963
- Okay, do I need to explain
the birds and the bees to you?
146
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,704
She's a good girl.
147
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,184
- Have you checked
her social media pages?
148
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,838
- You think
we can find something
149
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,405
- on her Oingo Boingo page?
- On her "Boioioing," yes.
150
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,102
Lucy can't go ten minutes
without posting.
151
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:50,192
- Well, I don't know
how to do that.
152
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,063
- I got you.
Oh.
153
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,282
- What do you got?
- Okay.
154
00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,763
- What?
- I got something.
155
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:58,113
"Coppin' a lobster
at Il Lobsterino."
156
00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:00,289
Pretty fancy.
Sounds like a date to me.
157
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,986
- Don't push it.
- I'm just trying to help.
158
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,814
you want someone else to help,
call the cops.
159
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,556
- I'm not gonna call the cops.
Pfft.
160
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,475
- Captain Polonsky.
- Captain?
161
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,259
- Chief McConky here.
- Terry.
162
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:16,261
- Jerry.
- What do you want?
163
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,002
- Well, I want to see if you
got wind of any incidents
164
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,700
that might be relevant
to us over here.
165
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,266
What are you talking about?
166
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,094
- I was hoping
you could shed some light
167
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,661
on the whereabouts
of a firefighter.
168
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:27,229
- Can you just
spit it out, McConky?
169
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,231
- Okay, Lucy didn't
come to work today,
170
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,363
and we know she was
at Il Lobsterino last night.
171
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,104
Other than that,
there's no sign.
172
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:34,323
That's interesting.
173
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,064
Jerry Jr.
didn't show up either.
174
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,109
- You mean your son?
- He's from my first marriage.
175
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,546
I'm trying to reconnect,
176
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,112
so I put him
on the force a few weeks ago
177
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,680
and, you know, it's going okay.
178
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:46,074
- Save it for your barber.
What's that got to do with me?
179
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:49,730
- Well, he told me yesterday
that he had a "hot date"
180
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:54,691
at Il Lobsterino,
and he was "fired up" about it.
181
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:57,172
- No, there is no way
my daughter went on a date
182
00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:59,522
with a Tacoma cop,
especially your son.
183
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:03,134
- Okay, it does seem like
a strange coincidence
184
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,485
that they're both
at Il Lobsterino
185
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,399
and they're both late for work.
186
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:10,968
You know, if I put
my police detective hat on--
187
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,361
No way.
188
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,928
- I know I said
she was with a guy,
189
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,756
but she's definitely
not with Polonsky, Jr.
190
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,497
I would bet my entire pension
191
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,368
she wasn't out
with Polonsky, Jr.
192
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:22,066
- And I wouldn't take that bet
because I'd lose.
193
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,503
- Right? No way!
- She's not with him.
194
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,982
There's no way.
195
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,375
- There's no way.
- No, there's no way.
196
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:29,073
- Oh, God.
I forgot how to breathe.
197
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:33,513
My heart's gonna explode.
Oh, God.
198
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:37,168
- Okay, all right, calm down.
Relax, just count to 10.
199
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:41,085
- Can you have too much pot?
Can you OD from pot brownies?
200
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,913
- You're fine.
- Are you sure?
201
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,873
'Cause I don't feel fine.
I don't feel fine at all.
202
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:48,397
- Hey, hey, hey, look at me.
Look at me.
203
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,139
Tell me something
about yourself.
204
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:54,229
- When my mom left my dad,
she made me dye my hair black
205
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:56,318
so that I wouldn't
remind her of him.
206
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,973
- Let's focus on something
a little more upbeat.
207
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,670
Okay, uh...
208
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:03,978
I always wanted
to express myself through art.
209
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,545
Really?
210
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:08,112
- Yeah, I have sketches
if you want to see.
211
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,679
- Hell yeah,
I wanna see your sketches.
212
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,115
- You do?
- Yeah.
213
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,074
- They're in the pocket
behind my chair.
214
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:15,816
Here, let me get it.
215
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:19,036
- I can't reach.
I can't reach.
216
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,777
I got it.
217
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:23,258
- Okay.
I've been teaching myself.
218
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:25,565
Picassi's always been
a hero of mine.
219
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,175
- You mean Picasso?
- No.
220
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:29,046
Greg Picassi,
he's the sketch artist
221
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:30,744
- at the station.
- Mm.
222
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,746
- I've always dreamed of
drawing the face of a bad guy
223
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:35,487
from the memory
of an unreliable witness.
224
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:38,882
- Check it out.
- Wow.
225
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:45,454
Oh, these are--
they're unbelievable.
226
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,630
- You don't mean that.
- No, I really do.
227
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:51,547
I think these show
a lot of potential.
228
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,724
- You're just saying that.
- I think that they're great.
229
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,727
- Oh, I'm freaking
losing it, man.
230
00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:01,078
- I'm losing it.
- Dude, keep it together.
231
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,211
- Oh, God,
whatever happens to me,
232
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:05,648
don't let me
jump off this building.
233
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:08,085
- We're in a car
stuck in a ditch.
234
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,087
I'm having--
235
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,046
I'm giving birth.
I'm giving birth.
236
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:14,614
I'm crowning.
237
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:18,008
- Do you see the head?
- Please get me out of here.
238
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,449
- All right, pull and roll,
There you go.
239
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:27,757
Pull, roll, pull,
roll, pull, roll.
240
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,237
Yep, and you roll.
241
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,630
You pull, and you roll.
That's great.
242
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,109
It's even.
That's awesome.
243
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,720
You're really getting
the hang of this, man.
244
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,983
Is this what you do all day?
245
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,506
- Hey, come here.
Stand up.
246
00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:40,814
Hunter, being a firefighter
is a way of life.
247
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:42,554
We live by a code.
248
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:44,339
- Yeah, like when your relief
doesn't show up
249
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:47,124
for her shift,
and you have to fucking stay.
250
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,344
Lady firefighter said fuck.
251
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,215
- How many are in there?
- Eight
252
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,478
- All right, look, Hunter,
when I got out
253
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:56,830
of the military,
I had no direction, no purpose.
254
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,354
- Firefighting gave that to me.
255
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,704
- Dude, I didn't come in
to do your job for you.
256
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,488
Just tell me how
to burn down a building.
257
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,056
- Oily rags and accelerant--
arsonist's best friend.
258
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,754
- Ike.
- He wants to learn.
259
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,494
- I'm trying to tell him.
- He doesn't want to learn.
260
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:11,845
- All right, Hunter,
all I'm saying is
261
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,325
you remind me of me
when I was a kid.
262
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:16,676
- And then you grew up
to be an old bald dude
263
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,155
with a feminine nickname.
264
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,722
- We got a car in ditch
up at Oak Point.
265
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:20,723
Could be Lucy.
266
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:21,898
Let's go.
Let's go.
267
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,727
Oh, my God!
268
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:28,513
It's so crazy
'cause you're, like, so hot,
269
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:30,341
but then
when I smush your face,
270
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:33,257
you're like--
you're like a baby.
271
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:36,304
You're like a hot baby.
That's a weird thing to say.
272
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,698
- Dude, I told you
stop squeezing my face.
273
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,091
- Oh, right.
Yeah, okay.
274
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,702
Yeah, hey, cool, yeah.
275
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,965
- Good morning.
How's everyone doing in here?
276
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:48,098
- Oh, my God, Cap,
you are a sight for sore eyes.
277
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,578
- No pain?
You can wiggle your toes?
278
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:50,927
Yeah, we're okay.
279
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,494
- Good 'cause we
want to make fun of you.
280
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,322
- Yeah, totally.
- Just get me out of here.
281
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,367
- Hey, Luce, there's someone
who wants to talk to you.
282
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,195
- Okay.
- You lied to everyone.
283
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,544
You went out with a cop,
284
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,372
and you did the weed
in his car.
285
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:04,593
- I didn't do the weed.
- Excuse me, Chief.
286
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,377
- Can I go--
- Not now, Delilah.
287
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,945
- What I don't understand
is why you violated
288
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:11,208
an unwritten firefighter rule
of never dating a cop.
289
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,557
So you're telling me
290
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,385
that if a super hot,
dumb, female cop
291
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,952
asked you on a date
and offered to buy you
292
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,519
a lobster dinner, you'd say no?
293
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,785
- She makes a very valid point.
Thank you for opening my eyes.
294
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,657
- It was Polonsky's son!
- Also a valid point!
295
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,398
- All I did was go out
on a date with a dude
296
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:29,096
who drove his car into a ditch.
297
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,098
- No, you let your shift down.
- Mm-hmm.
298
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,664
- Delilah had
a wedding to go to.
299
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,231
- It's totally fine.
No harm, no foul.
300
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:36,059
If I leave right now,
I can still--
301
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,801
- I'm sorry, but it's clear
Lucy is still high on the weed
302
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,760
and unable
to perform her station duties.
303
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:42,370
- I'm not high!
I can work, Dad!
304
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,154
- Please, my sister's
my best friend,
305
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,808
and I made a promise to my dad
on his deathbed...
306
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,462
- Thank you, Delilah.
- That I would be there...
307
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:49,246
- Get back to work.
- For her to walk her down--
308
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:52,772
- Dad, what is wrong with you?
Delilah, I am so sorry.
309
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:56,427
- Hark, what yonder
window light breaks?
310
00:12:57,515 --> 00:13:01,171
'Tis Lucy,
and she doth complete me.
311
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,086
- Hi, Terry.
312
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,827
- No, no, no, Terry, no, no.
- I'll kill this guy!
313
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,307
No, no, no.
314
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,964
- You don't seem
to be connecting with him.
315
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,358
- I'm telling you,
time for Plan B--tough love.
316
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:17,013
- You guys,
any kid who's that much
317
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,580
of a dick has problems.
318
00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:20,800
Look at that hairdo.
That's not his fault.
319
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,497
We need a breakthrough,
320
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,717
and I know
just the way to do it.
321
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:30,592
- Hey, buddy, what's happening?
- What do you want, grandma?
322
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:33,856
- All right, buddy,
look, I get it, okay?
323
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,250
When I was young, I thought
I was a tough guy too.
324
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,469
I didn't know
how to talk about my feelings
325
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:41,124
until I met these guys.
326
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:46,826
Whoo-hoo-hoo, I'm Fireman Bob,
327
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:50,481
and I can say
whatever's on my mind.
328
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:51,874
- You started
playing with dollies?
329
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,833
I'm not a dolly.
330
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:57,140
I'm part of an ancient art form
that takes great skill to use.
331
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,055
You should try it.
332
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:02,450
It's Bucko, the dog.
Here.
333
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:07,716
Come on.
You got anything to say, Bucko?
334
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:11,067
- You can't tell me what to do
'cause you're not my dad.
335
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,547
And what's your dad like?
336
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,117
- He left when I was six,
and he never calls.
337
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,469
I wish I was talking to him.
338
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,515
- You, see?
Puppets are cool, right?
339
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:26,648
Yeah, I guess.
340
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:28,955
- Hey, Granny,
I'm sorry to take you away
341
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,521
from your dollies,
but you got to come with us.
342
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,001
I got a thing happening.
343
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:34,221
- Can I stay here
with the puppets?
344
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,704
Yes, yes you can.
345
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:42,359
Here--just--
you're gonna love it.
346
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,883
- Come on.
- You'll love it.
347
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,885
They're really good friends.
348
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,887
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
349
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:54,023
- You drove
my daughter into a ditch.
350
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:57,940
- Chief, have you
ever seen "Avatar"?
351
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,681
What?
352
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,684
- In "Avatar"
when the blue people mate,
353
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,992
they make love
using their tails.
354
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,255
- You better choose your next
words very carefully, mister.
355
00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:12,085
- I thought long and hard
about these next words.
356
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,956
- Hmm.
Gross.
357
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,395
Lucy McConky...
358
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,921
will you marry me?
359
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,749
- Oh, um.
- Are you kidding me?
360
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:27,056
- What does this
have to do with "Avatar"?
361
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,797
- Do you see what you've done?
Hmm?
362
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,060
- How do you date this guy?
- It's none of your business.
363
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,323
- He's waiting for an answer.
Go ahead, marry him.
364
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:36,239
- Oh, well, since you own me,
don't I need your blessing?
365
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:38,067
- Oh, you got it.
Let's do right now.
366
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,983
I'm a justice of the peace.
I would be happy to officiate.
367
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:44,421
Lucy McConky...
368
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,423
will you marry me?
369
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,208
- You already asked me that.
- I did?
370
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,601
- Mm-hmm.
- And what did you say?
371
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,001
- Yes.
I will marry you.
372
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:02,613
- Oh!
Boom, yippee!
373
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:05,660
- Congratulations,
we're family!
374
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,360
- I promise
I won't miss it, okay?
375
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,971
Look, I'm trying
to get out of here.
376
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,798
- Delilah, go put
your dress back on.
377
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,626
I can go?
378
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:18,629
- No, Lucy's still stoned,
and she needs a maid of honor.
379
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,762
- Go.
380
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,201
Man, we made a breakthrough.
381
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,464
This is a totally different kid
from this morning.
382
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,781
Oh, hell no.
383
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:43,263
You pyro-ass, affluenza,
gob of snot piece of shit!
384
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,568
What's wrong with you, man?
385
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,005
You can do
whatever you want to me,
386
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:48,485
but do not fuck
with my puppets!
387
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,183
- Whoa, Granny,
now don't forget
388
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,228
we want to figure out why
he's exhibiting this behavior.
389
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,621
Yeah, chill, bruh.
390
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,623
- Oh, you want me
to chill, bruh?
391
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,320
How about I
chill my ass right here
392
00:16:57,364 --> 00:17:00,671
and watch you do 100 pushups?
Get down, let's go.
393
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,586
- Ooh, baby, I knew it was
gonna be worth the wait.
394
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,066
You can't do this.
395
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,068
- Now it's 200 pushups
'cause you're
396
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,592
talking back, you stupid
piece of monkey vomit.
397
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:11,073
What the hell are you doing?
398
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:14,033
- Well, this is my
Mini Firefighter Buddy, so...
399
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,947
And you think that gives you
400
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,863
the right to scream abusively
at him and make him do pushups?
401
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:21,823
- I--it was--uh--
402
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,259
Granny's so mean.
403
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,392
Oh, honey, don't cry.
404
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:26,958
I'm reporting you
405
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,656
to the Big Firefighter
Brother organization.
406
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,833
You're lucky
I don't arrest you.
407
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,227
Lucky.
Come here, sweetie.
408
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,185
Let's get away
from this pendejo.
409
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:37,882
Anything you say, Officer.
410
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:40,450
- My phone!
411
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,281
I was just kidding before.
412
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,893
My dad lives with me,
but he's a dick like you.
413
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,723
- Ow.
- Bitch.
414
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:55,509
- Huh, are you okay?
- Yeah.
415
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,206
- You're a bitch!
- Hey, hey.
416
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,774
- Apologize to Lucy.
Tell her you overreacted.
417
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:01,863
- No, I live
for a good game of chicken.
418
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,299
You know why
they call me chief?
419
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,909
- Because you love
chicken and beef.
420
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,650
- Because I love
chicken and beef!
421
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,262
Gentlemen.
422
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,786
- What do you want?
- I come in peace.
423
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,309
- Okay, all right.
Yeah?
424
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,357
Look, I just wanted to say
425
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,055
that I've never seen
Jerry Jr. like this.
426
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:23,754
He truly loves your daughter
to the moon and back,
427
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:26,148
and, look, I know
we've had our differences,
428
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:29,804
but maybe, just maybe
this romance could serve
429
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:32,720
as a bridge of healing
between our two stations,
430
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:35,375
especially since
we're gonna be family.
431
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,513
I couldn't do it!
432
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,167
I challenged myself
to go 60 seconds
433
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,256
without laughing,
but I can't because this
434
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,910
is the funniest thing
that I've ever seen.
435
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,259
I don't find the humor in it.
436
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:51,826
- Look at it
from my perspective.
437
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,133
When Jerry Jr. told me
what he was gonna do,
438
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,786
I didn't care anymore
that he had wrecked my car.
439
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,919
I didn't care anymore
that the kid was an idiot.
440
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,616
I told him
"That's a great idea."
441
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,401
And do you know why?
442
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:02,967
Because I couldn't wait
to see the look
443
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:06,014
on your stupid face
when he did it.
444
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:09,539
But the best part is that you
are such a dumb son of a bitch
445
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,802
that you made her say yes,
446
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:15,763
and now
they're getting married.
447
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,634
- That's it.
- All right, all right.
448
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:19,375
Come on,
settle down, everybody.
449
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:20,637
Enough, Polonsky,
you've made your point.
450
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:23,727
- Get out of here.
451
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:27,992
Oh also, may their first child
be a masculine child.
452
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:29,864
- Get out of here.
453
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:33,041
- Terry, call it off.
- I'm not backing down.
454
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,224
Dearly beloved,
455
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,966
We are gathered here
to join my son,
456
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:47,229
Officer Gerald Polonsky Jr.,
457
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:52,103
and Terry McConky's precious,
beloved daughter Lucy.
458
00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:56,804
I can't begin to convey
how much joy it brings me
459
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:58,240
to see the love
460
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,503
that these two young people
have found.
461
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,592
Vicky is gonna be so pissed.
462
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,768
I can't wait to see her face
when she finds out
463
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:07,206
that her daughter married
Polonsky's son on a whim
464
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,773
in your fire station
without her here,
465
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:12,559
- and you encouraged it.
- Okay, thanks.
466
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:15,039
- Jerry Jr.
has prepared his own vows.
467
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:16,302
This should be good.
468
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:17,694
Thank you, father.
469
00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:22,090
My heart is rock hard today
470
00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,440
as I look into the eyes
of the woman
471
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:27,617
I plan to spend
the rest of my life with.
472
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:31,752
I can't begin to say
how much I love Lucy.
473
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:36,235
Oh, Lucy.
474
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,630
Holy shit.
475
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:44,504
- Oh, boom.
476
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:48,159
"I Love Lucy"?
477
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:51,032
Lucy, I'm home.
478
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:54,949
This guy knows
what I'm talking about.
479
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,951
- That's my best man.
- Great.
480
00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:59,432
Well, if anybody present
believes that these two people
481
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:02,173
should not be wed,
then speak now,
482
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:05,916
or forever hold your peace.
483
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,920
Please don't say anything.
484
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:13,750
Please don't.
Please don't.
485
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:21,541
- Nobody?
Last call.
486
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,588
Wow.
Okay.
487
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:27,460
By the power vested in me
488
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,157
by the great state
of Washington,
489
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,507
I now pronounce you
490
00:21:31,551 --> 00:21:34,771
man and--
491
00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:37,296
- Uncle!
- Shit, so close!
492
00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:39,689
- What?
- I'm so sorry, I can't do it.
493
00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:41,387
I just didn't want to be judged
494
00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:43,127
for wanting a free dinner
from a hot guy.
495
00:21:43,171 --> 00:21:45,086
I thought he would have
sobered up by now
496
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:46,783
and snapped out of it.
497
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:49,308
And, Dad, I thought you
would have put a stop to this.
498
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:51,092
- I was just trying
to honor your choices.
499
00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:53,312
- But Lucy,
we were meant for each other.
500
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:55,314
You talked me off the ledge.
501
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:58,099
- Dude, have some self-respect.
502
00:21:58,142 --> 00:22:00,884
She's only doing this
to stick it to her dad.
503
00:22:00,928 --> 00:22:02,321
Don't be a dumb ass.
504
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,714
- Thank you.
- 781 family dispute.
505
00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:06,629
497 West Quaker Street.
506
00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,979
- 10-4.
On our way.
507
00:22:09,023 --> 00:22:12,156
- Come on, Jerry Jr.
Let's do it.
508
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,333
Come on, let's go.
509
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,857
Firefighters suck.
510
00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:19,642
I made this for you.
511
00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:21,427
Oh.
512
00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:25,692
Wow,
looks just like me.
513
00:22:25,735 --> 00:22:29,217
- It's my greatest work.
It's my Mona Lisy.
514
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:30,653
Thanks, Jerry.
515
00:22:30,697 --> 00:22:33,787
- Don't forget me.
And rest in peace.
516
00:22:36,267 --> 00:22:37,225
Drive safe.
517
00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:40,402
Allow me to be the first
518
00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:42,361
to congratulate you
on your nope-tials.
519
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,972
- Well, I guess
I don't need these anymore.
520
00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:47,496
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
521
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:50,760
- Son of a bitch.
- I am so sorry.
522
00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:52,675
May I please leave now?
523
00:22:52,719 --> 00:22:54,764
Yes, you can go, Delilah.
524
00:22:54,808 --> 00:22:58,377
- Oh, God.
- Oof.
525
00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:01,684
- Have fun.
- Hope you enjoy the wedding.
526
00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:04,383
- Oh!
527
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:08,561
- Ugh.
528
00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:13,043
Honestly, this is
529
00:23:13,087 --> 00:23:15,176
the best wedding
I've ever been to.
530
00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:24,838
- My therapist says that I know
that I'm worthy of love,
531
00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:26,622
but I keep wasting that love
532
00:23:26,666 --> 00:23:29,451
on women that are
emotionally unavailable.
533
00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:33,020
And it all stems from
my relationship with my dad.
534
00:23:33,063 --> 00:23:34,587
Oh, come on.
535
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:36,197
Why don't I keep
getting stuck with you
536
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,025
weepy-ass,
sensitive old people?
537
00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:40,288
- Dude, I'm laying myself
bare here.
538
00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:41,898
It's a ride along.
539
00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:44,292
Let's go infiltrate
a drag racing crime gang.
540
00:23:47,077 --> 00:23:49,297
- Is that the guy that gave you
an F in French class?
541
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:52,082
- Yes, it's that douchebag
Monsieur Aragon.
542
00:23:52,126 --> 00:23:54,258
Let's go kick some derriere.
543
00:23:54,302 --> 00:23:55,869
Oui, oui.