[smooth music]
What the hell's this?
Ah.
Oh, well, okay.
- Oot-oot-oot.
No touchies. [chuckles]
That board is for rank-and-file union business only.
Off limits to you, Chiefie.
- All right, then you take it down.
- But I made it "owl" by myself.
- I don't have time for pun and games.
- That's a pun.
- I gotta prep for the council meeting.
I got to start the Baker Fiscal Reporter.
- Wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah.
- Take it down now!
- Okay. I'll...
hop to it. [laughs]
- I'm the boss, Eddie.
- Oh, we all know "hoo" is the boss.
But you don't have to be so serious about it all the time.
Sometimes you are as boring
as that sweet tea you like to drink.
- Sweet tea is reliable and neutral, like me!
- I prefer my chief to be a root beer float,
effervescent, with a pinch of sassy-fras, like me.
- Mom and Dad are fighting again.
- Mom over here thinks that being in charge
is like having a soft drink.
- You're the mom. You're the one who says
things like, "I'm doing this for your own good."
And, "Don't take that tone of voice with me."
That's you. - I don't think I like
the gender inferences being used in this argument.
- Then stay out of it. - Hey.
- Why is this fridge always a disaster?
And where's my sweet tea?
- Sometimes I wish I was chief so I could show you
how to do this job properly. - And I wish I could just
lie around all day and do nothing like you.
- Oh, you think I just lie around all day?
I work for a living.
I don't sit behind a desk drinking sweet tea.
That's for sure. - I think I got it back here.
Oh! - [gasps]
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh, Dad! Dad, are you okay?
- Ahh, my back. - Hey, Chief.
I found your sweet tea.
- Screw you, Eddie.
- Don't worry.
"Owl" drink your tea.
- You're the mom. - No, you're the mom.
- You're the mom!
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
♪ Check it and see ♪
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
[laughter]
- Oh. - Well, this is different.
- Good morning, everybody.
- Ooh! - Hey, blinded by the white.
- What? [laughter]
- Okay. Okay.
Due to Chief McConky's herniated disc,
you are now all looking at Acting Chief Penisi.
- Oh, baby! [cheering]
- Get well soon, Chief.
But also congratulations, Chief.
- Thank you, Ikey. Too kind. Too kind.
Speaking of Chief McConky,
I'm gonna do things differently.
And like any new leader, I plan on reversing
a few of my predecessor's policies.
So who wants a TV in the bunk room?
- Oh, yeah! - Yes!
- And from now on, whenever we vote here,
we do it by wave.
So let's go again. Who wants gambling back?
[all cheering] - Yay!
- Ikey, given your seniority,
I am naming you Hand to the Chief.
Your job is to help me
make sure things run smoothly around here.
All in favor?
- Yay! [cheering]
- Nice. - Thanks, guys.
Oh, wait, don't we need a replacement captain?
- Knock, knock. Who's there?
That's me, bitches. What's up?
- Wait a minute.
Frenchie, were you just in the hallway
waiting for somebody to announce you?
- Oh, no, I was waiting out there
for somebody to stand up.
Tap. You're it. [laughs]
And due to my recent promotion, it's Captain Frenchie.
We're finally the same rank, Penisi.
- I don't think so.
Do you see the white shirt? He's the chief now.
- Oh, for two weeks tops.
- And during that time,
I command you to not bring us down
'cause we're gonna have fun around here.
Which reminds me, Nok hockey, air hockey, or bubble hockey?
- Why choose one? Can't we have all three?
- You're goddamn right we can.
[cheering]
- All right, everybody, get to work.
- Hey, Andy, you sure you're a dude?
I couldn't find your dick when I tapped it.
- It's there. - Hey, Ike.
Don't worry about Frenchie, okay?
He doesn't respect the fact that I'm chief like you do.
You're my guy.
- What kind of stuff would I have to do though?
- All leaders need a right-hand man
to help them lead.
And also to let them know the behind-the-scenes stuff
on whether or not people are digging the vibe.
So can you do that for me?
- I accept the hand job. [chuckles]
Chief. - Dismissed.
[laughter] All right, all right.
- All right, listen up. Going over the chores here.
For the duration of my stay,
Lucy, you will be on kitchen cleanup.
- Why? 'Cause I'm the girl?
- No, you just seem like you'd be good at folding linens.
All right, Andy, you will be in charge of the food run.
- Come on, I did that last shift.
- I wasn't here last shift. - I hate that job.
Everybody always complains, and no one's ever satisfied.
- It's 'cause you're always getting the wrong stuff, bro.
You came back here with Hydrox instead of Oreos.
- Same thing, bro. - No, it's not, bro.
Oreos are a cultural touchstone.
While Hydrox is something
that you give to prisoners in a food line.
- And plus, you always get bruised apples.
So my advice, don't get bruised apples.
- Yeah, bro, didn't anyone ever teach you how to choose fruit?
- Shut up. Everybody just shut up.
See, I already hate this job.
- You're on shopping duty, and that's it, okay?
Here is my list, and get the morel mushrooms, okay?
Not the chanterelles, big difference.
- What, are you gonna chip into the fund?
- Captain of the B shift
doesn't chip in for the A shift.
- But, Frenchie, you eat all our food.
You should chip in. - Ooh. Don't mind if I do.
- Just don't touch my cake, man.
- Oh, come on, man.
You're about to eat it right now.
- No name, fair game.
That frosting literally said "Thank you, Granny," on it.
- I don't see any name on here.
- It was there, but you just ate it.
It's said Granny on it.
- I don't see a name on it. - He coaches soccer.
They gave that to him. That's his special cake.
He's been waiting a long time to eat that.
- You know what? I'm not a fan.
You guys can have it.
[rock music]
- Gather around, everyone.
While I was getting acquainted with my new office,
I came across this.
- The Bin of Sin! - That's right.
All the stuff Terry confiscated over the years
is being returned to you now by your favorite--
what's my title, Frenchie? Ch--ch--ch--
- Ch--ch--chief?
- Oh, okay, be careful. I can fire you.
- It's chief. You know it's chief.
- Okay. Let's see here.
Ah. fidget spinner for my friend Ike.
- Ah-ha! Well done. - Yeah.
- Wow. - Yeah. Now, what?
Okay, here we go. What's this, a luchador mask?
- I think that's underwear. - Oh, yeah, it's mine.
- Why does Chief have your underwear?
- A gentleman never asks, a lady never tells.
- [laughs] Oh, well done.
- It's my Blockazoids game!
- Do you think that's a good idea, Granny?
I mean, you kind of got lost in that game last time.
- Blockazoids is more than a game.
It is a way of life.
I didn't even get to level 12 before Chief confiscated it.
- Chief, I'm not really sure if that's a great idea.
No disrespect. Just trying to be your hand.
- Okay, okay. We'll keep an eye on him.
- Oh, hey, what's this?
- Oh, that's my Tamanachi, the original '90s pet.
Treasure it, Lucy. My gift to you.
- And keep it safe. It's-- - Yeah.
- It was once special, but now it's being passed on.
- Thanks, guys.
- Andy, add butter to the list. - I just got butter.
- Yeah, you got unsalted butter.
Get salted. - You got unsalted butter?
- Unsalted? - Who gets unsalted?
- Are you out of your mind? Did you do it purpose?
- It was an accident.
- [groans]
My chair!
[groaning]
What the hell?
How many hockey games they have in here?
What's all that shit in the garage?
[groans]
Where's the furniture?
- [barks] Whoa.
- [whimpers] - Are you shittin' me?
- Oh, Andy, you know you're into me for 50 on the side.
- Yeah, buddy.
- Level 12. I still got it.
- You know what, new chief, I gotta tell you,
this is so much fun, and I feel like the station
in general is just running smoother than ever.
- Oh, yeah, I actually had no idea it could be this good.
- Looks like you guys are having fun.
- Hey, what's up, Terry?
Who had Terry showing up on day four?
- Oh, that was me. - Oh!
- Oh, come on! - Oh, yes!
- You hungry? Have some food. - No, I'm good.
Can't really eat with my meds, so--
- Have a cheese ball. - Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Oh, boy.
- What are you doing here, Terry?
- Well, my daughter's learning to play the clarinet at home,
and it was driving me crazy, so--
- I think you came to check up on me.
But as you can see, it's going great.
- Yeah, yeah, the apparatus floor
looks like a Dave & Buster's.
The break room looks like a hookah lounge.
And I found my chair in the dumpster outside.
- Well, surely, you don't expect me
to sit in another man's blast zone, do you?
No. I need a chair that's more apropos of my chiefdom.
Speaking of which.
What's behind this door, hmm?
What chief-y secrets are you keeping in here?
You got scotch, cigars? - It's nothing.
- Oh, well, if it's nothing, why don't you
just give me the key and I'll have a little looksee?
- I don't have a key. - Hmm.
[knocking] - Hey, old chief.
Chief, got your breakfast.
- Thank you, Ikey. How about right on my desk, please?
- You got it. [Hoser barking]
- Hey, did you see Hoser?
- Yeah, great to see him back. - Awesome, right?
Oh, Ike, will you let Frenchie know
that I'm in the mood for some Bolognese.
- You bet.
- And will get some Tomaso's tomatoes for the sauce, please?
- You got it. - Thank you.
Excuse me, Chiefie.
See, Terry, chiefing is easy.
I show up for work in the morning.
I leave the same day.
I have my breakfast delivered to me.
- Eddie, you'll find that being chief is more than that.
You have to make some tough decisions.
[mimics farting]
- Can you believe my GAK
retained its slime after all these years?
- Okay, I got to go find some place hard to lie down.
Oh.
[flatulence noises continue]
- [chuckles]
- Hey, Captain, I was looking over
your list again and I saw "en-dive."
- You mean "ahn-deev"?
- I always thought it was "en-dive."
- What's endive? - Bitter lettuce.
- It's pronounced "ahn-deev." Okay?
Comes from the Latin word "ahn-deev-ion,"
which means "angry seagrass."
And it is not bitter when I make it.
- Well, all the things that you want,
maybe you want to pitch in to the fund-ue.
- Tomaso's tomatoes? Okay, that's a big no.
- Ah, that is a request straight from chief.
That's the base for his Bolognese.
- Okay, he may be chief, but I'm chef,
so I'm in charge of the ingredients.
And his Bolognese is a big fat no-lognese!
[chuckles] You see what I did?
Oh, this is a super unhealthy list.
Come on, you don't need six different kinds of chips, okay?
No, you guys can just share the family size of the Hot Cheezos.
Am I forgetting anything else? I think this is it.
Oh, I know what I'm forgetting. One thing, there is one thing.
Oh! [chuckles]
I don't need to write that down anymore.
Check.
Okay, this list is officially sealed.
Can we do something other than the Hot Cheezos?
I don't think my dad will go for that.
The dust always burns his gums.
- Actually, I'm in on the Hot Cheezos.
It might be nice to feel a different kind of pain.
Oh, God.
- Damn it. Come on.
[knock at door] - Hey, Chief.
- Hey, Ikey, come on in. Have a seat.
- Nice. Are you working on something there?
- Yeah, I'm trying to get this door--
oh, you all right?
- Yeah, just messing around.
I'm just fooling around.
I used to have one of these.
Just gotta--ohh!
Ah, man.
- You okay? You seem a little tense.
- Just a little nervous. I think you make me nervous.
Maybe it's the white shirt.
- Yeah, well, I would say, I'll take it off.
But I kind of like it.
Yeah. Okay, what do you got?
- Okay, so...
Frenchie is taking everything you want off the grocery list.
- Really?
- And Hoser has been pissing in the shower constantly
because Lucy doesn't walk him at all.
- For real?
- Permission to speak freely for a second?
- Yeah.
- This whole feeding you information thing
just makes me a little uncomfortable.
You know, I feel like my heart's racing all the time.
The hand job is really hard.
- The hand job, that's the toughest job there is.
- I feel like they know something, you know,
when I'm walking by, and I'm like I think they're
looking at me like they know I'm up to something.
- Don't worry, you'll get used to playing both sides.
- I did. In the meantime,
make the Bolognese happen. I believe in you, Ike.
- I'll get out of here.
[grunting]
I always mess around in these.
[grunting] Just fooling around.
- You want me to drive? - No, I will.
I feel like if I practice changing lanes really quickly,
I'll be able to get to level 17.
And just...
getting that piece right here.
Here.
It's always the square ones. Turn--
- Hey, Granny. - Hmm?
- I don't think it's safe for you to drive.
- Yeah, you're probably right. I want to play my Blockazoid.
- Okay.
- Hey, hey, hey. Yoink.
Chief wants to add back a couple of items.
- Oh, Frenchie already sealed the list, so--
- This is for Chief. Okay?
- Tomaso's tomato sauce.
- You know, Frenchie added a bunch of things to this...
- Ground beef.
- List already without kicking into the fund.
So I can't add all this stuff.
- A lot of this stuff we do not need.
Like butter cream. No.
- Well, no, no, we need the Fresca,
and we need the crunchy peanut butter.
People are gonna be pissed. - Hey, don't worry about it.
As long as Chief gets what he wants, we're gonna be fine.
Okay? Hurry up.
[stomach grumbles]
- My stomach hurts already.
- Banana chips? You didn't get bananas?
- They were all old. - I need the potassium, Andy.
- You guys made fun of me last time for buying overripe fruit!
- No Marshmallow Fluff? - That got crossed off.
- By whom? - Perfect timing.
- Now I can get started on my velouté.
- What?
- Where's my buttercream? - No.
- My whipped cream, my sour cream?
And where is the breast of duck that I asked for?
- How about some ground beef?
You can make something with this, right?
- You bought sale meat? Are you kidding me?
It's got a sticker right there that says sale meat.
I don't cook with sale meat, bro, okay?
I sealed the list with a kiss.
Can't unseal my sealed kiss list.
- I unsealed it.
Chief's orders.
He wanted Bolognese, I unsealed it.
- Look at the balls on you, huh, bud?
- Yeah, I did it.
- Well, guess what, I'm not making Bolognese tonight.
In fact, I'm not gonna make anything.
- That's fine.
- You are there, big bald cowboy.
- What's that? - You're gonna knock stuff
off my list, you're gonna make dinner.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Cap, don't have Ike make dinner, please.
- The only thing he can make is sloppy joes.
- I'm Captain and I'm deciding tonight.
Crystal is gonna cook.
- Hey, Chief.
- Granny, you do that ambulance inventory?
- Granny. Granfield.
[beeping] - Hello.
- Row's complete. - Hey, Chief.
Andy messed up the shopping list.
And now Frenchie won't cook, and he's ordered Ike to cook.
- No, listen to me right now. Listen to me.
- I tried to text you--
- Captain to captain. I'm the captain.
This is my crew. Tonight, Ike cooks dinner.
- Okay, can you-- - He's captain, it's his call.
- Bam! - Wait. Wait, no, no.
- Ike, it's his crew. - In your face.
Boom! [Hoser whimpers]
- Someone take care of this dog.
- [barks] all: Not it.
- Oh, my God, you guys are driving me crazy.
- Hey, hey, hey. Hang on a second.
What--what's going on?
- What's going on is I'm going in my office
to finish the Baker Report.
- What about the hand job? I thought--
- You're not gonna get to finish the hand job.
- What is happening right-- - This is so weird.
Now it's like we have two uptight dads.
- Yeah. - Dads are the worst.
- I'm right here.
Hey, did Andy at least remember the Hot Cheezos?
- Oh.
Yes. Thank you.
[thunder rumbles]
- [groans]
[laughter]
[groaning]
[laughter]
[sighs] Damn it.
[groaning]
Oh, come on. No, no, come here, come here.
No, no, hey!
Baker Fiscal Report.
"A perspective on differential techniques
affecting machine parity."
- Oh, hey, Andy, I need to speak to you.
Andy, get in here now.
Do I make myself clear?
[screams]
[gasps]
Hey.
Hey, I'm Eddie Penisi.
Wow.
[exhales]
Yeah, I'm Eddie Penisi--
[ominous music]
♪ ♪
No, no, no, no.
Okay.
♪ ♪
[whimpers]
[screams]
[gasps]
Double nightmare! [thunder rumbles]
k it. - Oh, man.
All I had was that and that and--
Oh, I guess-- I guess I have that.
Ahh! [laughs] - Agh!
- That beats that, right? Oh, man.
- I forgot how fun gambling was.
- Right?
- My back doesn't even hurt anymore.
[laughter]
- And then I said the guy who sold me the salt,
he sells a lot of salt.
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
- Oh, man. - I like it.
[laughter and chatter dies out]
- Hey, what's going on?
- Oh, nothing. - Not much really.
- Oh, no, I heard laughter. It looked pretty fun down here.
What's the joke?
- I mean, honestly, it wasn't even that funny.
- Just tell me what the joke is.
- Is that an order, Chief? [laughter]
- Okay, that's funny. Ike, what was the joke?
- Actually, you know what, I don't really feel comfortable
just relaying that information to you right now
'cause we just kind of had something going on, so I--
- Oh. - All right, I get it.
I see how it's gonna be. Carry on.
- All right, whose deal? Let's go.
- I think it's your deal. - Whose deal?
- Andy, you're up. - I'm due, baby. I am due.
- Hey, who found my pictures from Barcelona?
- No, no, Chief, can't touch the board.
Union rules. [all cheering]
- Okay. - Right back at ya.
- Just keep it down in here, okay?
I'm trying to finish these Baker Reports.
And I can't hear myself think.
- Maybe you should ban gambling.
[laughter] [video game chimes]
- Oh, man. - What is that?
- It's my Tamanachi. Uh-oh, he's hungry.
- You have to water it or-- - What? What?
Hey. - Andy, clean that up.
- Hmm? - He killed my pet.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- Open sesame, bitch.
Okay.
There.
Oh-oh-oh, scotch and cigars.
I knew he was holding out on me.
Sweet tea and pretzel rods. What the hell?
- Nothing special in there.
I told you there's no secrets. Nothing sexy about this job.
- I thought the job would be easier.
- Well, job's important. So you learn to accept it
and keep the station running 'cause it helps people.
Then if you're lucky, you might have a moment
to enjoy yourself with your crew.
- Oh, Terry, there is one more thing.
- Yeah.
- I'm not gonna finish the Baker Report on time.
I'm sorry about that too.
- While I was on my back,
I did most of the Baker Report for you.
- You did the Baker Report? - Yeah.
- The Baker Report's like 400 pages long.
What's wrong with you?
- I love that stuff. It's fascinating.
- Machine parity? - Machine parity is awesome.
- Okay, well, to each his own.
Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Well, I feel much better, Terry.
Here's to you.
Ugh, that sucks.
God, that's disgusting. How do you drink this stuff?
- It's an acquired taste.
It's reliable, neutral, like me.
Also, when I was on my back, I learned that
I should probably lighten up a little bit.
It's probably better if I was more like the cool mom than
always being the tough dad. You know what I mean?
- I like everything you're saying.
But you're already the mom. - I'm the dad.
I'm saying I'm trying to be like the mom.
- No, no, no, I'm the dad. You're the mom.
- You're the mom. I'm clearly the dad.
Look at your hands. They're slender.
- Look at your big tits. - These are man tits.
- Okay, this is gonna be so epic.
You call Eddie out here, right,
tell him his stupid Tomaso tomato garbage
is in the fridge.
He'll open the fridge, and then bam,
I'll scare the shit out of him.
[laughs]
- I don't know, Cap. I don't think it's gonna work.
- Oh, come on, we do it all the time on B shift.
Call Eddie up.
- Well, Chief is a little bit on edge, so--
- I'm the captain, and this is an order.
Call Eddie.
- Hey, Chief. - Close the door.
Quick. Close the door. - Okay.
Chief! Hey, Chief.
- What's up, Andy?
- Captain Frenchie said
that your Tomaso tomato sauce is ready in here.
- In here? - Yeah.
- Awesome.
- Cap is back.
- Oh! - Son of a bitch.
- Station 24, MVA at the corner
at the corner of Cobalt and Swan.
- Move it out.
- Guys. Guys!
I got to go to the bathroom, guys.
It's freezing in here!
I don't want to do this anymore.
- Hey-oh! Hey.
Don't worry. I'll just put this back myself.
- Welcome back, Chief. - Skim milk. Really?
- That's what you wanted. - Oh, where's the peanuts?
- I couldn't find them. - Couldn't find peanuts?
- Fuck you guys!
- Ah, touchy.
- I don't think there's enough room for all this stuff.
- Oh, hey, I think they could use your help.
[8-bit game music playing]
- Blockazoid.
♪ ♪
- Rows complete.
- Impressive. - Pretty good.
- Ooh, baby. So glad Chief's back.
- Now we have dad and a dog.
- Speaking of which, where is Hoser?
- Where do you think? [evil laughter]
- He didn't kill the dog, did he?
[laughter]
Sorry.
- Yeah, he killed the dog. Come here, boy.
- Yeah, yeah.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- [laughs]
Oh, yeah.
[exhales sharply]
It's good to be back.
Right, Hoser?
[dramatic sting]
[evil laughter]
♪ ♪
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof! Stupid dog.
[Lucy screams]
- Jeez, what?
- Oh. - What's the matter with you?
Come and help us put the groceries away there, screamy.
- Holy moly.
- I think I had too many Hot Cheezos.
- Oh, too many Hot Cheezos. - Okay.
- Who bought skim milk?
- Fuck you guys!
- [chuckles] I just got déjà vu.