1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:02,001
[screams]
2
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:03,936
- Uh-huh.
And how about here?
3
00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:05,204
- [screams]
4
00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,739
- Okay.
5
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:10,676
First, stop doing six months
of flossing
6
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,078
the night before you see me.
You can't just catch up.
7
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,547
- Agree to disagree.
8
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,814
- Second, your wisdom teeth
are infected.
9
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,482
They need to come out.
- What? When?
10
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,885
- Today.
- [chuckles] No, I can't.
11
00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:22,555
Today is the Chili Cook-off at
the station, and I'm the judge.
12
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,357
- There's literally chili
in those teeth.
13
00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:25,891
They have to come out.
14
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,027
- Doc, listen, I've had
these teeth all my life.
15
00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,228
They fill out my mouth.
16
00:00:29,364 --> 00:00:30,629
They give me
a nice long chew-span.
17
00:00:30,765 --> 00:00:32,698
- I told you to do this
three years ago.
18
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,166
- Well, why didn't we?
19
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,901
- You said you were judging
a Pancake Cook-off.
20
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,370
- That's because I'm
a great Cook-off judge.
21
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,504
- And now they're infected.
22
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:40,906
- Fine. Let's do it.
23
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,375
- All right.
I'll get you set up
24
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,109
with plenty of pain killers
for post-surgery.
25
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,779
- I don't need it. I mean,
it's just oral surgery, right?
26
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,447
It's, like,
the lamest surgery there is.
27
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:50,115
[chuckles]
- Careful.
28
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,718
You could wake up with no teeth
in your mouth.
29
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,586
- What?
30
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,390
[drill whirring]
- [chuckling]
31
00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:00,525
[slow-motion evil laughter]
32
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,396
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
33
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:07,733
♪ ♪
34
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,469
- ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
35
00:01:10,605 --> 00:01:13,205
♪ Check it and see ♪
36
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:16,675
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
37
00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:19,779
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
38
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,281
[upbeat music]
39
00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:24,884
- The hunter-gatherers
have returned!
40
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:28,020
- And we come bearing
great quantities of meat.
41
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,354
- And sour cream.
42
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,689
- What are you watching, Cap?
43
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,892
- It's this cooking show
"Chef U.C.K."
44
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:34,227
- Ooh, I love that show.
45
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,362
- Somebody's reliving
the glory days.
46
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,433
- Which ones?
- The Chili Cook-off, man.
47
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:41,834
Just admit it.
You retired too soon.
48
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:44,036
And now there's
a new sheriff in town.
49
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,239
Two-time reigning Champion
50
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:49,708
fighting Granny Smith!
51
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:51,244
- [chuckles]
- [imitating crowd roaring]
52
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,978
- Okay, okay.
53
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,447
I crushed you at
the Chili Cook-off many times
54
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,781
before I retired.
55
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,182
- That was when I was a boy.
56
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,917
Face the man now.
You see?
57
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,987
- Yeah. Well, my seven Chili
Championships are behind me,
58
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,522
and I like being retired.
59
00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,591
- You're like Jordan, retiring
at the top of your game.
60
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,726
- That's right. Because there
were no more challenges,
61
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,394
and there still wouldn't be.
62
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,196
- Whoa. Whoa.
- Okay.
63
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:12,931
And this year is gonna be
a little bit different
64
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,468
because I got my uncle's
famous chili recipe,
65
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,603
and I'm gonna blow
y'all out of the water.
66
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,606
It's called--wait.
67
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,408
It's called--oh, my God.
68
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,278
- You should try
a memory word-train.
69
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,945
You say a word
70
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,814
and it makes you think
of the next word and so on
71
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,415
until you get back to the thing
you were trying to remember.
72
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,817
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, I heard that.
73
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,686
So you just, like,
say it like a word-train.
74
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:37,756
Like, like, chili, chili--
chili dog, dog, doghouse,
75
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:41,160
housework, work, work pants,
pants pocket--
76
00:02:41,296 --> 00:02:43,829
hey, my car keys. I didn't
even know these were lost.
77
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:44,830
Thanks, Andy.
That works.
78
00:02:44,966 --> 00:02:46,699
- Glad I could help, I guess.
79
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,702
- In honor of the 25th Annual
A Shift Chili Cook-off,
80
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,038
I got us a little upgrade.
81
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,308
[chuckles]
82
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,443
[angelic choir singing]
83
00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:01,646
both: Oh, shit.
The Chili Chalice.
84
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,182
- [chuckles]
85
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,650
I had them add some effects
down at TakeHomeA Trophy.
86
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,252
It was 7 bucks.
87
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,188
50 bucks for insurance, but we
can split that or whatever.
88
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:12,057
Man, look, Cap,
you're all over this thing.
89
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,926
2016, Chili Wonka.
90
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,662
- Chili with a hint of
chocolate to melt your heart.
91
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,130
- 2015, Chilary Swank,
92
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:22,201
2014, Winston ChurChili,
2013, Chili Nelson.
93
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:24,203
- Oh, yeah. That one
that gave you the munchies.
94
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,738
- But look at this new
blank name space, though.
95
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:26,939
- I had them add another base
96
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,607
so we can add
more names to it.
97
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,809
- All that empty space
after my name
98
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:33,812
makes the Penisi era
look like ages ago.
99
00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:37,282
- And I'm okay with because
I'm retired. End of story.
100
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:38,884
- Hey, where's our judge?
101
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,220
- Lucy's driving him
from the dentist right now.
102
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:44,023
The dude just got
all his wisdom teeth removed.
103
00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:46,559
- Is he gonna be able to judge?
- You tell me.
104
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:49,562
Lucy just went live-streaming
on "Boi-oi-oing."
105
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,163
- [babbles incoherently]
106
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:55,901
Lower seals! Lower seals!
[laughter]
107
00:03:56,037 --> 00:03:57,703
Hey, it's a safari.
Wanna go on a safari?
108
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,304
They got lions and tigers.
109
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,306
They got rhinoceroses.
They got wildebeests.
110
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,909
Often they have safaris
on the Serengeti.
111
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,310
Have you ever been
to Serengeti before?
112
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,180
- Man, these videos
are so embarrassing.
113
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,914
I'm telling you, that's a good
lesson to young people,
114
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,249
though, right?
- Yeah.
115
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,517
- Stay away from the dentist.
116
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,119
- No, that's not the lesson.
117
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,455
- I'm gonna get one of those
squirrel suits.
118
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,522
You wear
a squirrel suit before?
119
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,058
- No, Dad.
120
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:20,726
- You can fly off cliffs
with 'em. They're skin tight.
121
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,195
Super tight. It's skin tight.
- [laughing]
122
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:26,799
- Lower seals! Lower seals!
123
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,734
I don't know why the seals
won't go down.
124
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,404
- Wow, you are Boing-ing
like crazy.
125
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,072
- Lucy, is this real life?
126
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,408
[upbeat music]
127
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,944
Hey. Whoo!
128
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,547
Throw me in the ball pit.
- He is lunchmeat.
129
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,949
- What's up, Eddie!
Hey.
130
00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:46,551
You wanna ride the
rollercoaster with me?
131
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,553
Oh!
- Whoo.
132
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:52,425
- Ah!
- [chuckling] Yeah.
133
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,826
- [laughs]
- That's a good one.
134
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,160
- Hey, hey!
- Hey.
135
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,895
- I got an owl box.
- I know.
136
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,431
- You know I got an owl box?
- I helped you put it up.
137
00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,832
I helped you put it up.
- I put it in my backyard.
138
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,967
I have a rodent problem.
You know rodents?
139
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:03,368
- Yes.
140
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:06,639
- Owls eat rabbits, gophers,
skunks, moles, monkeys.
141
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:07,973
- Do you have monkeys
on your land?
142
00:05:08,109 --> 00:05:09,708
- Yeah, gopher monkeys.
- Gopher monkeys?
143
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,043
- Yeah. You ever seen
gopher monkeys before?
144
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,577
- No. What do they eat?
Underground bananas?
145
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:13,979
- They eat rocks.
- A rock monkey?
146
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,114
- I wish things could always
be this way.
147
00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,982
- Hey, I saw you
on the social media.
148
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,851
- The social media, huh?
- Yeah.
149
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,853
- Well, did you see
that I was kind of blowing up?
150
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,788
- You know, there are people--
- Hey, hey.
151
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,056
- Who don't like
those kind of videos.
152
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,858
- Did you know I got
an owl box?
153
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,660
- Especially dentist ones.
- Hey, I got an owl box.
154
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:28,994
- And this is one of them.
I know.
155
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,195
I helped you
put up the owl box.
156
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:31,530
- I don't mean to interrupt.
Go ahead.
157
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:32,798
- Do you know how hard it is
158
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,333
to get a video to spring
on Boi-oi-oing?
159
00:05:34,469 --> 00:05:36,735
He got me 100 re-bounces.
I mean, if he keeps this up,
160
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,471
he could be
the next Cranberry Juice Guy.
161
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,806
- How come my legs don't go up?
- Did you ask his permission?
162
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,541
- Yeah.
I mean, of course I asked him.
163
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:43,809
- You like pickles?
- I love pickles.
164
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,210
- Dill?
- Dill, fried.
165
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,680
- Gherkins?
- How do you not love this?
166
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,483
- Just be careful.
- I got it. I got it.
167
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,817
- Nice one, Chief.
168
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,418
- Whoa, who's this guy?
- Andy.
169
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,220
- Is he real, this guy?
- Yeah, he's real.
170
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:59,024
- Yeah. Hey, are you excited
about a little Chili Cook-off?
171
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,293
- Oh, it's gonna be
super awesome.
172
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,894
- Oh, yeah.
- I've been watching it on TV.
173
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,496
- No, we're gonna be
doing it here.
174
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,897
- No, it's been on ESPN.
175
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,231
- I was thinking that maybe
176
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,301
I'd use a recipe
from the islands.
177
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:09,568
- Hawaii.
- Yeah.
178
00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:10,903
But do you like pineapple?
179
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,705
- I like in piña coladas.
- That's great.
180
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,239
- Do you like piña colada?
- I do.
181
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,641
- One time when she was
16-years-old,
182
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,711
I caught Lucy drinking
piña colada.
183
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,179
- Oh, God.
184
00:06:20,181 --> 00:06:21,780
- Such a great story.
- Yeah, thanks, man.
185
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,048
- Well, that's all
I needed to hear. Goodnight.
186
00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:24,249
- It's got a lot
of vitamins in it.
187
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,650
- Great.
188
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:26,919
- Hey, when
will I see you again?
189
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,854
- Still gonna be here.
- Lucy! Lucy!
190
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,122
- Hey, are we gonna do
the morning meeting today?
191
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,457
- When is today?
- Um, now.
192
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,193
- You don't have to, Chief.
- No, let's do it.
193
00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:36,229
Morning meeting?
That's my favorite thing.
194
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,541
- Oof.
- Be careful, Chief.
195
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:52,144
[all groaning]
196
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,746
- Kinda looks
like a Fruit Roll-Up.
197
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,414
Granny,
is he supposed to do that?
198
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:56,481
- No.
199
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,550
How much more is there?
200
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:58,817
- Almost done.
[groans]
201
00:06:58,953 --> 00:07:00,485
- Ugh.
- That hurt.
202
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,955
- Oh, God.
- Ugh.
203
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,225
- Good. So that's done.
- Enough of that, right?
204
00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,760
Right now I'm gonna open
the floor up to questions.
205
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,762
- Hey, if we're doing
questions, can I--
206
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,697
- Yeah, muscles. Go.
207
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,966
- If you had to get rid of one
fire fighter out of all us...
208
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,834
- Uh-oh.
- Be honest.
209
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,169
Would it be Andy?
- Hey.
210
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,637
- It definitely would not
be Andy
211
00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:20,039
because I often use
his toothbrush.
212
00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:21,640
[chuckles]
He didn't know it,
213
00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:23,376
but, you know, sometimes when
I don't have my toothbrush,
214
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,643
I use his toothbrush.
215
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,245
- What did you say?
216
00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:28,047
- I find you to be
the most hygienically sound.
217
00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:30,115
[chuckles]
- What do you mean?
218
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,250
Like, he got
the cleanest mouth?
219
00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:32,985
- Yeah, he's got
a super clean mouth.
220
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,787
Look at him. He's like
a little, round bar of soap.
221
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,188
- That is so weird, Dad.
222
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,522
- You know what
I'm talking 'bout?
223
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,192
- I'm gonna change the subject.
224
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,993
Hey, Chief, I have a question.
- Yeah, go, you in the front.
225
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,995
- Will we be getting raises
this year?
226
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,397
- Will we be getting racist
this year?
227
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,199
Young lady,
you're new to this department,
228
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,200
but that's bullshit.
229
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,068
- No, no, no.
Raises this year.
230
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,270
- Braces?
Andy could use some braces,
231
00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:52,671
if you know what
I'm talking about.
232
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,206
- Whoa!
- That's rude.
233
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,674
- Chief, c'mon,
you gotta lay off with that.
234
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,875
- What is happening?
235
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,211
- Raises!
An increase in salary.
236
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,946
- Oh, raises.
237
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:04,483
I'll tell you what, if I were
Andy and I was getting a raise,
238
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,018
I'd use the money
to straighten my teeth out.
239
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,420
- Okay, okay. C'mon, c'mon.
240
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,821
- You know what I'm saying?
No offense.
241
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,355
- Is this a roast?
- Chief.
242
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,157
- And you, stop putting lemon
in your hair, Ike.
243
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:14,827
- What? I'm not putting--
I don't put lemon in my hair.
244
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,095
- It makes your hair
a weird color, bro.
245
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,563
- Chief, you need some water.
246
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:18,697
- Just man to man,
I'm telling you.
247
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,099
- Don't use a straw.
248
00:08:20,101 --> 00:08:21,634
The suction can cause
dry socket.
249
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:24,103
- Ooh, dry socket.
I don't even know what that is.
250
00:08:24,105 --> 00:08:25,638
- What's dry socket?
251
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,372
- It's when suction pops
a blood clot inside the wound.
252
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:29,174
- You know what this room
could use? An owl box.
253
00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,043
- C'mon. C'mon, dude. C'mon.
254
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,378
- An owl box, just an owl box.
Do you have an owl box?
255
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,514
- How did I not just film
all of that?
256
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,783
- Mm.
- Hoo.
257
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,118
- ♪ Ah ♪
- Oh, he's back.
258
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:43,122
- ♪ [vocalizing high notes] ♪
259
00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:44,323
This is great, man.
260
00:08:44,459 --> 00:08:45,658
We should have
a Chili Cook-off, right?
261
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:46,792
- That's a good idea.
262
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,327
- Should we?
- Yeah.
263
00:08:48,329 --> 00:08:49,862
- Here's one thing, though.
See that blanks space?
264
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:51,664
What happened
to all your champion-shipses?
265
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,198
- I added a base plate to put
more names for more winners.
266
00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:55,000
- Yeah, but all the blank space
267
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:57,002
makes it look like
he's never won anything before.
268
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,737
[laughter]
269
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,740
Right? Huh? I'm gonna go have
some pudding out of this, okay?
270
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:02,741
- Go for it.
- I'll see you later.
271
00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:04,209
- Okay, take her easy.
272
00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:06,011
- I'll see you guys later.
What's up, cup?
273
00:09:06,147 --> 00:09:07,880
- All right.
[whistles]
274
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,283
- You guys,
we could still do this.
275
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,217
Chief's gonna be back
to his old self soon.
276
00:09:12,353 --> 00:09:13,819
- Is he even gonna be able
to chew, though?
277
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,288
- Yeah, he'll be fine
in a couple hours.
278
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,022
We should definitely
do the Chili Cook-off.
279
00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:19,024
- We?
- Yeah, we.
280
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,226
If Jordan could unretire,
then so can I.
281
00:09:21,362 --> 00:09:22,828
And I'm gonna join this year's
Cook-off.
282
00:09:22,964 --> 00:09:26,833
And I'm gonna kick
all y'all's asses.
283
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,138
- So this is a recipe
from my Hawaiian ancestors,
284
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,274
and Chief says
he already loves it.
285
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,142
So I'm excited.
[chuckles]
286
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,679
- But here is the big story.
Coming out of retirement,
287
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:43,615
seven-time champion
Captain Eddie Penisi.
288
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,817
- That's right,
seven time champion. Seven.
289
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,419
- What's it feel like
to be back?
290
00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:49,889
- It's like putting on
an old slipper. Whoo!
291
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,358
[pot clatters]
[laughter]
292
00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:53,759
- Hey, Lucy.
293
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,227
If you're gonna do a show,
introduce the star.
294
00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:56,762
Come down here.
- Oh, come on.
295
00:09:56,898 --> 00:09:58,830
- My apologies. Granny, tell us
what's going down here.
296
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:01,166
- Well, as two-time
defending champ,
297
00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:02,902
I'm getting a little creative,
298
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:07,506
so I will be making a chili
with a zesty cheese base.
299
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,709
- [imitates buzzer]
That sounds like a queso.
300
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:12,912
A chili can be a lot of things,
but it's definitely not yellow.
301
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:16,248
- All right.
Ike, what's in your chili?
302
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:19,985
- Uh, it's a mystery. So.
303
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,054
- Ooh,
he's playing it coy, folks.
304
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,723
- No, no, it's actually
a mystery to me.
305
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,657
I have no idea 'cause I don't
have my uncle's recipe.
306
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,393
I lost it, so I don't know
what to do with--
307
00:10:27,395 --> 00:10:29,328
- Ike, you should use
the memory word-train.
308
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,996
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
309
00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:32,598
Just give me one second.
310
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,201
Recipe, recipe book,
book, book smart,
311
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,336
smartass, asshole,
whole onion.
312
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,805
Whole onion.
That's it.
313
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,074
I got tons of whole onions.
314
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:44,276
[chuckling]
Hope you like it spicy.
315
00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:46,345
- All right, Rachael Ray,
your turn.
316
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,013
- Okay.
317
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,482
I have a recipe and I have
a special ingredient in it
318
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,553
that is going to blow
the tits off this place.
319
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,021
And it's vegetarian.
320
00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:57,823
- Vegetarian as in turkey meat?
321
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,292
- No. It's a plant-based beef
substitute called
322
00:11:00,294 --> 00:11:02,762
Implausible Meat.
[bell rings]
323
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,764
[laughter]
324
00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:06,432
- Do you know who the judge is?
325
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:10,169
- We call him Chief because
he likes chicken and beef.
326
00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:11,637
- Well, over the past
few months, I've been mixing
327
00:11:11,639 --> 00:11:13,773
Implausible Meat
into his burgers and meatloaf.
328
00:11:13,908 --> 00:11:17,109
I've reconditioned his palate
and he has no idea.
329
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,778
- That's implausible.
330
00:11:18,913 --> 00:11:20,712
- Clever girl.
331
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,782
- Son of a bitch.
332
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:23,983
- That's cheating.
333
00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,584
- It's the long game, Granny.
334
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,319
- Whatever. You chilennials
can have your fake meat
335
00:11:27,321 --> 00:11:29,054
and your pineapple
and your queso.
336
00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:31,591
I just stick to a good,
old-fashioned chili.
337
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,058
Keep It Simple Stew-pid.
338
00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:34,660
- I think I know
what my Dad likes.
339
00:11:34,796 --> 00:11:35,995
- Well, I've known your Dad
340
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,329
since his cholesterol was
under 300.
341
00:11:37,465 --> 00:11:40,600
- You knew him in the womb?
[laughter]
342
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,201
Hey, Chief,
we were just talking about you.
343
00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:45,805
- Your ears must be burning.
- [groaning]
344
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,139
Why's everybody
standing around?
345
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,540
It doesn't take all day
to bake chili.
346
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,075
- Oh. I think his anesthesia
wore off.
347
00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:52,011
- What's that?
Fruit in your chili?
348
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,745
- Yeah.
- Hot fruit's disgusting.
349
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,148
- But I thought you said you
were gonna like this, Chief.
350
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,083
I'm calling it Beaña Colada.
351
00:11:58,219 --> 00:11:59,551
- I never said that.
352
00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:01,086
Fruit should be eaten
at room temperature
353
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:02,488
and only when
your wife tells you to.
354
00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:03,823
- Hey, Chief,
355
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,357
remember coming back
from the dentist this morning?
356
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:06,826
- I remember everything.
You guys are lucky
357
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,494
nobody video'd me
because it would be trouble.
358
00:12:08,496 --> 00:12:10,496
There's nothing worse
than those stupid videos
359
00:12:10,632 --> 00:12:12,498
with those pathetic idiots
coming home from the dentist.
360
00:12:12,634 --> 00:12:15,367
- They do get a lot of boings.
- It's an invasion of privacy!
361
00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:16,968
Ow.
[sighs]
362
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,371
The pain in my mouth
is getting exponentially worse.
363
00:12:19,507 --> 00:12:20,772
And I'm hungry.
So we're gonna do
364
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:24,844
this chili contest
in exactly one half hour.
365
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,646
[groaning]
366
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,114
- Hey, is your dad
taking his medication?
367
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,782
- They gave him pain pills
but he won't take 'em.
368
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,118
- Why not?
- He says he doesn't need them.
369
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,855
- Ugh.
Why do old, white men do that?
370
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,123
[soft dramatic music]
371
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:39,458
♪ ♪
372
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,661
- Don't look at me.
I love medication.
373
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:42,728
And I'm not old.
374
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:43,795
[upbeat music]
375
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,464
- [groans]
376
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,999
- C'mon, dude, you don't have
to suffer through this.
377
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:48,534
Lucy brought your medication.
378
00:12:48,536 --> 00:12:51,803
You should take it.
Here. Yeah.
379
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,072
- I don't need pain meds.
380
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,207
I'm a McConky.
McConkys can handle pain.
381
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:59,078
- You had oral surgery, man.
- So what?
382
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:00,946
My wife gave birth
without drugs.
383
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,415
I think I'm man enough
to handle a little toothache.
384
00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:05,751
Dismissed!
- [sighs]
385
00:13:05,887 --> 00:13:08,087
- 20 minutes!
386
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:11,090
[dramatic music]
387
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:16,762
♪ ♪
388
00:13:16,764 --> 00:13:17,963
- [slow-motion laughter]
389
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:24,136
♪ ♪
390
00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:32,111
- Done.
With eight minutes to spare.
391
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,780
- Figures.
Old people love to eat early.
392
00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:36,181
- [chuckles]
That's cute, Granny.
393
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:37,983
I remember my
second championship.
394
00:13:38,119 --> 00:13:39,985
- And I'm on my way
to my third.
395
00:13:40,121 --> 00:13:41,453
- Hmm.
Well, if you do it,
396
00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:44,256
don't forget to thank
the dairy farmers. What?
397
00:13:44,392 --> 00:13:45,525
- There's seven minutes
left here,
398
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:46,926
and everyone
is up against the clock
399
00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:48,728
except Granny and Cap
400
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,730
seem to be more interested
in slinging zings than chili.
401
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,264
- Lucy, stop messing around!
402
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:53,533
Live in the moment,
for God's sake.
403
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,600
- Okay.
404
00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:55,935
- Why do I still
smell pineapple?
405
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,137
- What?
- [growls]
406
00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,739
- What am I supposed to do?
407
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:03,008
I already took all the
pineapple chunks out of there.
408
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,411
- [groaning]
409
00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:07,613
[soft dramatic music]
410
00:14:07,749 --> 00:14:11,083
♪ ♪
411
00:14:11,085 --> 00:14:14,153
- That looks more
like sloppy joes.
412
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,687
- This is my Uncle Joe's
recipe.
413
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,556
How did you even know
we call him Sloppy?
414
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,560
- You made sloppy joes
instead of chili.
415
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,094
- Oh, no.
416
00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:24,563
Sloppy joe, Uncle Joe,
Joe, Joe, Joe Biden.
417
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,032
biding my time, time's up.
I'm fucked.
418
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:30,569
- [groaning]
419
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:31,837
- [sighs]
420
00:14:31,973 --> 00:14:35,908
♪ ♪
421
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,710
30 seconds!
I need water.
422
00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:40,646
- But--Chief!
423
00:14:40,782 --> 00:14:41,847
Chief, no!
424
00:14:41,849 --> 00:14:44,049
[pop]
- [groaning]
425
00:14:44,185 --> 00:14:47,920
- He popped the clot!
Dry socket!
426
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:51,190
[all screaming]
427
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,325
[energetic music]
428
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:57,329
♪ ♪
429
00:14:57,465 --> 00:14:59,865
- Oh, my God!
430
00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,200
No, no, no, no!
431
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,401
- What the hell are you doing?
432
00:15:02,536 --> 00:15:04,403
- I'm totally springing
right now.
433
00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:07,739
I'm getting so many re-bounces.
434
00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:09,475
I could be an influencer!
435
00:15:09,477 --> 00:15:12,812
- This Cook-off is cancelled!
[screams]
436
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,147
[app boinging]
437
00:15:15,149 --> 00:15:18,350
- I like him better
with his wisdom teeth.
438
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,019
[chuckles]
439
00:15:20,154 --> 00:15:21,621
[soft upbeat music]
440
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,355
I'm actually happy
that the cook-off is over
441
00:15:23,491 --> 00:15:25,691
'cause now I can put some
pineapple back into my chili
442
00:15:25,827 --> 00:15:27,092
and have a great dinner.
443
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,228
- I can't believe we did
all this work for nothing.
444
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:30,696
- The dry socket tirade
445
00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:32,431
did get me
a shitload more followers.
446
00:15:32,566 --> 00:15:34,634
Implausible Meat
even started following me.
447
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,302
- See?
448
00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:37,769
- If only there was a way we
could get him to take his meds.
449
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:39,571
Then he'd be able
to judge again.
450
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,507
- And I could get
so many more followers.
451
00:15:41,509 --> 00:15:43,108
- The man won't use
medicated lip balm.
452
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,577
There's no chance he's taking
those meds on his own.
453
00:15:45,579 --> 00:15:48,714
[upbeat music]
454
00:15:48,850 --> 00:15:55,788
♪ ♪
455
00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:02,194
- Hey, Dad.
Here's some chocolate milk.
456
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,462
It'll make you feel better.
457
00:16:03,597 --> 00:16:07,399
♪ ♪
458
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,268
- Hey, Chief,
brought your favorite pudding.
459
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,203
- [mouth full]
Thank you.
460
00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:12,204
- All right, eat it.
461
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:16,208
♪ ♪
462
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:17,476
- You put it in my mouth?
- No.
463
00:16:17,611 --> 00:16:18,944
You're supposed to rub it
on your body.
464
00:16:18,946 --> 00:16:20,279
Ah!
465
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,813
I don't let my wife
touch my neck.
466
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,283
- What neck?
You're like a snowman.
467
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:29,021
♪ ♪
468
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,089
- Mm, that's a good chowder.
469
00:16:30,224 --> 00:16:32,558
- May I?
- Hey, take it easy.
470
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,360
- No, no, it's good.
This will add flavor.
471
00:16:34,362 --> 00:16:35,427
- I'm on statins.
472
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:40,966
♪ ♪
473
00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:41,967
[peanut brittle taps]
474
00:16:41,969 --> 00:16:43,435
♪ ♪
475
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,970
I can't eat peanut brittle.
476
00:16:44,972 --> 00:16:46,906
- Oh, 'cause you--you don't
wanna hurt your teeth.
477
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:48,307
- Peanut brittle!
It's peanut brittle!
478
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:49,509
- I know.
Sorry.
479
00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:51,243
Idiot!
480
00:16:51,245 --> 00:16:58,384
♪ ♪
481
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:12,998
- Don't judge me.
482
00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:20,273
♪ ♪
483
00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:26,345
[upbeat music]
484
00:17:26,347 --> 00:17:32,885
♪ ♪
485
00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:34,687
- Ah.
- Hey, what's up, dude?
486
00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:36,755
- What's in the oven?
Thought the contest was over.
487
00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:39,025
- So did I.
Then I saw you stirring.
488
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,492
- Well, you never know.
489
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,694
Maybe the Chief
will suddenly feel better.
490
00:17:41,696 --> 00:17:42,961
- Mm.
That's what I thought.
491
00:17:43,097 --> 00:17:44,496
And as you know,
492
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,365
any good firefighter always
stays prepared.
493
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,634
- [sniffs] Oh, yeah.
Who's making steak?
494
00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,436
- You son of a bitch.
You're pivoting.
495
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:53,239
- [goofy laugh]
496
00:17:53,374 --> 00:17:54,707
What's up, guys?
- Hey, Chief.
497
00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,042
Okay.
- Hey.
498
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:59,978
I'm coming over here.
What's up Ike-oroni?
499
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:02,180
- I'm pretty good.
- The San Francisco treat.
500
00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:04,050
- [chuckles] Oops.
We good.
501
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:07,853
- [chuckling] Whoo-hoo!
Oh, man, I feel good.
502
00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:08,855
- You look good.
503
00:18:08,989 --> 00:18:10,256
- My neck smells fantastic.
Smell it.
504
00:18:10,391 --> 00:18:11,790
- Huh?
- You wanna smell it?
505
00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:13,059
- Oh, yeah.
- What's it smell like?
506
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,727
- Smells like flowers.
507
00:18:14,729 --> 00:18:15,994
- Piña colada, piña colada.
- Yeah, piña colada.
508
00:18:15,996 --> 00:18:17,329
- Piña Colada, right?
- Yeah.
509
00:18:17,331 --> 00:18:18,597
So I'm feeling really good.
510
00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:21,600
And I'm thinking
the contest is back on.
511
00:18:21,736 --> 00:18:23,201
- Oh!
- Sweet.
512
00:18:23,337 --> 00:18:26,272
- You know what? I liked
my milk and my pudding so much,
513
00:18:26,407 --> 00:18:28,474
I think you should
blend the chilis. Right?
514
00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:30,476
- What do you mean?
Like in a blender?
515
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,545
- Yeah, man.
That would be dope.
516
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,613
Don't you think?
I mean, do you wanna chew?
517
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,615
- No, sir. I mean--
- Do you wanna chew?
518
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:38,150
- Don't have to chew.
- Who wants to chew?
519
00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:40,018
You wanna chew?
- No, it hurts my teeth.
520
00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,820
- It's too much exercise.
Let's cut the middleman, right?
521
00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,355
- Okay, yeah.
Who needs a middleman?
522
00:18:43,357 --> 00:18:45,892
- Liquefy the bitch.
[chuckles]
523
00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:48,360
C'mon, 15 minutes.
524
00:18:48,496 --> 00:18:49,695
Whoa!
What's up, man?
525
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:52,431
What's up?
Vertical leap!
526
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:55,434
[dramatic music]
527
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:59,438
♪ ♪
528
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:03,375
[snoring]
529
00:19:03,377 --> 00:19:05,978
♪ ♪
530
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:08,246
Huh?
531
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,715
What are we waiting for?
532
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:13,185
- You, your honor.
- Oh. [chuckles] Let's begin.
533
00:19:13,187 --> 00:19:17,256
- Andy Myawani's, sir, and I'm
presenting to you Beaña Colada.
534
00:19:17,391 --> 00:19:18,590
- That's funny.
- Enjoy.
535
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:20,126
- Beaña Colada.
536
00:19:20,261 --> 00:19:22,060
Mm.
537
00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:26,132
Seems like someone was trying
to hide the taste of pineapple.
538
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:30,068
And we all know hot fruit
is not dope.
539
00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:31,069
[dramatic music]
540
00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:33,071
[blows raspberry]
541
00:19:33,073 --> 00:19:36,074
- My submission is
Mission Implausible.
542
00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:38,611
- I don't understand it,
but okay. [chuckles]
543
00:19:38,746 --> 00:19:42,214
Mm--oh, my God,
this is disgusting.
544
00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:43,615
[laughter]
545
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:44,951
Is this that
Implausible Meat shit
546
00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:47,019
that you give me at home?
- You knew about that?
547
00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:50,088
- Yeah. This stuff sucks.
- Ha!
548
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:52,090
- Tastes like a house plant
took a shit.
549
00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:53,559
Implausibly sucky.
550
00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:55,694
Last place!
[blows raspberry]
551
00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:56,963
What's this one all about?
552
00:19:57,097 --> 00:20:00,098
Sloppy Joe's chili.
- Oh, you'll like it.
553
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,167
♪ ♪
554
00:20:01,302 --> 00:20:02,768
- Pretty good.
555
00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:05,771
If it was a sloppy joe contest,
but it's not.
556
00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:07,573
- No, I guess not.
- Disqualified.
557
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,375
[blows raspberry]
- Thanks for trying it.
558
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:11,443
- Hey, Chiefy.
559
00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:14,313
My entry:
Keep It Simple Stew-pid.
560
00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:16,048
- All right.
561
00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:18,784
Oh, first of all, you spelled
stupid wrong, stupid.
562
00:20:18,919 --> 00:20:20,987
[slurps]
563
00:20:21,121 --> 00:20:23,055
Steak.
- Mm-hmm.
564
00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:24,056
- Medium rare.
565
00:20:24,192 --> 00:20:25,658
- Just the way you
like it, Chief.
566
00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:28,260
- Potatoes.
This is delicious, Captain.
567
00:20:28,262 --> 00:20:30,262
- Wait.
Liquefied steak and potatoes?
568
00:20:30,398 --> 00:20:31,530
Are you kidding me?
569
00:20:31,532 --> 00:20:32,931
- Yeah.
Well, sometimes
570
00:20:32,933 --> 00:20:36,202
you gotta change
your recipe-nizi on the fly.
571
00:20:36,337 --> 00:20:39,405
- Hey, look at that.
Appetizers. Cheese All That.
572
00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:40,873
Oh, yeah, man,
that's pretty good.
573
00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:43,209
- Dad, be careful.
- Chief. Chief.
574
00:20:43,344 --> 00:20:45,477
- It doesn't matter.
Can't feel a thing.
575
00:20:45,479 --> 00:20:46,945
- No!
- These chips are pointy.
576
00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:49,615
- No!
- Oh, gosh.
577
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,417
- Chief.
- C'mon, Chief.
578
00:20:51,552 --> 00:20:52,818
- Oh, this is gold.
579
00:20:52,953 --> 00:20:54,286
- You guys want some?
all: No.
580
00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:55,621
- Okay, listen up.
581
00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:58,624
I am prepared
to announce the winner.
582
00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:00,893
And the winner...
583
00:21:01,029 --> 00:21:06,098
of the contest...
[app boinging]
584
00:21:06,234 --> 00:21:09,702
is...
585
00:21:09,704 --> 00:21:14,240
- Dad.
Dad, wake up.
586
00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:15,574
- Hey, there he is.
587
00:21:15,576 --> 00:21:18,777
- The winner is...
588
00:21:18,913 --> 00:21:23,582
Beaña Colada.
[all exclaiming]
589
00:21:23,584 --> 00:21:26,385
- What?
- You hate hot fruit.
590
00:21:26,387 --> 00:21:27,653
- C'mon.
- Want one?
591
00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:30,122
- No, thanks.
Here you go, little buddy.
592
00:21:30,258 --> 00:21:34,793
- Oh, thank you so much.
Thank you, Chief, so much.
593
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:38,664
Thank you, Chief.
Wow.
594
00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:40,532
- Breathe in, man.
- [chuckling] Wow.
595
00:21:40,534 --> 00:21:41,868
[sighs]
596
00:21:42,002 --> 00:21:45,003
[crying]
Here we are, the champ.
597
00:21:45,005 --> 00:21:47,874
And it started at
a little island in Hawaii.
598
00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,076
My ancestors went across--
599
00:21:50,210 --> 00:21:52,078
- What the hell
are you guys doing?
600
00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:53,746
- What?
What are we doing?
601
00:21:53,748 --> 00:21:55,481
- This is how you treat
your friend?
602
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,216
Your father? Your chief?
- Oh, man.
603
00:21:58,218 --> 00:22:03,089
- And Lucy, you live-streamed
him like this out to the world?
604
00:22:03,223 --> 00:22:04,490
- But it's so hard to go viral.
605
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:07,359
- Vicky,
what are you doin' here?
606
00:22:07,495 --> 00:22:11,430
- I saw you on the internet.
You're a meme.
607
00:22:11,432 --> 00:22:12,898
- What's that supposed to meme?
608
00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:14,366
[chuckles]
- [chuckles half-heartedly]
609
00:22:14,368 --> 00:22:15,367
[imitates rim shot]
610
00:22:15,369 --> 00:22:16,769
- Mom, please don't.
611
00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:18,304
[quirky dramatic music]
612
00:22:18,439 --> 00:22:20,639
♪ ♪
613
00:22:20,775 --> 00:22:23,375
- Who's that guy?
He looks like an asshole.
614
00:22:23,377 --> 00:22:24,510
[chuckles]
615
00:22:24,645 --> 00:22:25,811
[snoring]
616
00:22:27,648 --> 00:22:28,914
- There he is.
617
00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:30,983
- Look who's name
is on the chalice.
618
00:22:30,985 --> 00:22:33,919
[chuckles]
Andy Myawani. Whoo!
619
00:22:34,054 --> 00:22:37,523
Beaña Colada. They even got
the enye in there.
620
00:22:37,658 --> 00:22:38,724
- Congrats, Andy.
621
00:22:38,859 --> 00:22:40,392
- Thank you.
- What the hell?
622
00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:42,260
I can't get into
my Boi-oi-oing account.
623
00:22:42,262 --> 00:22:43,729
- That's because
I shut it down.
624
00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:45,464
- What?
- Oh, no-oi-oi-oi-oing.
625
00:22:45,466 --> 00:22:47,266
- Yeah. When I saw the videos
you posted
626
00:22:47,401 --> 00:22:49,802
without my permission,
I filed a complaint.
627
00:22:49,804 --> 00:22:51,737
Your account has been
suspended indefinitely.
628
00:22:51,872 --> 00:22:53,806
- No, no, no.
What about my new followers?
629
00:22:53,808 --> 00:22:55,741
- They took 'em away.
- No. Dad.
630
00:22:55,876 --> 00:22:57,543
- And I am banning
all employees
631
00:22:57,678 --> 00:22:59,946
from using B-boi-oi-oing
in the workplace.
632
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,880
- I think that's
a little extreme.
633
00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:04,951
- Pineapple chili.
What was I thinking?
634
00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,153
Ugh.
No more pain meds.
635
00:23:07,287 --> 00:23:10,022
- Hey, don't sweat it, Lucy.
Followers shmollowers.
636
00:23:10,158 --> 00:23:12,024
What does social media
really get you?
637
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,026
- Yeah, it's not like
somebody's in their office
638
00:23:14,028 --> 00:23:16,028
right now saying, "Hey, get
that Lucy McConky on the line.
639
00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:17,229
We need to give her
a million dollars."
640
00:23:17,365 --> 00:23:21,300
- [chuckles]
- Yeah, I guess so.
641
00:23:21,435 --> 00:23:24,637
- Oh, my God.
This stuff sucks.
642
00:23:24,639 --> 00:23:26,438
Implausible Meat?
Ugh.
643
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,707
Tastes like a house plant
took a shit.
644
00:23:28,843 --> 00:23:30,376
- Okay, that's rude.
645
00:23:30,511 --> 00:23:32,311
- I really thought Lucy McConky
would be the new face
646
00:23:32,446 --> 00:23:34,580
of Implausible Meat,
but I guess not.
647
00:23:34,715 --> 00:23:37,650
- She doesn't even have
a Boi-oi-oing account any more.
648
00:23:37,652 --> 00:23:39,518
- Oh, what a loser.
649
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,387
Reach out to that firefighter
in Pittsburgh.
650
00:23:41,522 --> 00:23:43,522
The one who made Implausible
Mince Meat Pie for her station.
651
00:23:43,524 --> 00:23:46,859
She will be, like, so dope.
- Good idea, Becky.
652
00:23:46,861 --> 00:23:48,661
Oh, and she has a cat
named Penguin.
653
00:23:48,663 --> 00:23:50,128
Our demo's gonna go insane.
654
00:23:50,130 --> 00:23:51,530
- Oh, my God. I would've
never thought of that.
655
00:23:51,532 --> 00:23:54,066
- I know.
So innovative.
656
00:23:54,068 --> 00:23:56,068
- Too bad, Lucy McConky.
657
00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:58,404
You will never know
how close you came.
658
00:23:58,539 --> 00:23:59,872
Buh-bye.