1 00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:02,001 [screams] 2 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:03,936 - Uh-huh. And how about here? 3 00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:05,204 - [screams] 4 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,739 - Okay. 5 00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:10,676 First, stop doing six months of flossing 6 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,078 the night before you see me. You can't just catch up. 7 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,547 - Agree to disagree. 8 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,814 - Second, your wisdom teeth are infected. 9 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,482 They need to come out. - What? When? 10 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,885 - Today. - [chuckles] No, I can't. 11 00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:22,555 Today is the Chili Cook-off at the station, and I'm the judge. 12 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,357 - There's literally chili in those teeth. 13 00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:25,891 They have to come out. 14 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,027 - Doc, listen, I've had these teeth all my life. 15 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,228 They fill out my mouth. 16 00:00:29,364 --> 00:00:30,629 They give me a nice long chew-span. 17 00:00:30,765 --> 00:00:32,698 - I told you to do this three years ago. 18 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,166 - Well, why didn't we? 19 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,901 - You said you were judging a Pancake Cook-off. 20 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,370 - That's because I'm a great Cook-off judge. 21 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,504 - And now they're infected. 22 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:40,906 - Fine. Let's do it. 23 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,375 - All right. I'll get you set up 24 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,109 with plenty of pain killers for post-surgery. 25 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,779 - I don't need it. I mean, it's just oral surgery, right? 26 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,447 It's, like, the lamest surgery there is. 27 00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:50,115 [chuckles] - Careful. 28 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,718 You could wake up with no teeth in your mouth. 29 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,586 - What? 30 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,390 [drill whirring] - [chuckling] 31 00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:00,525 [slow-motion evil laughter] 32 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,396 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 33 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:07,733 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,469 - ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 35 00:01:10,605 --> 00:01:13,205 ♪ Check it and see ♪ 36 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:16,675 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 37 00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:19,779 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 38 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,281 [upbeat music] 39 00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:24,884 - The hunter-gatherers have returned! 40 00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:28,020 - And we come bearing great quantities of meat. 41 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,354 - And sour cream. 42 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,689 - What are you watching, Cap? 43 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,892 - It's this cooking show "Chef U.C.K." 44 00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:34,227 - Ooh, I love that show. 45 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,362 - Somebody's reliving the glory days. 46 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,433 - Which ones? - The Chili Cook-off, man. 47 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:41,834 Just admit it. You retired too soon. 48 00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:44,036 And now there's a new sheriff in town. 49 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,239 Two-time reigning Champion 50 00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:49,708 fighting Granny Smith! 51 00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:51,244 - [chuckles] - [imitating crowd roaring] 52 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,978 - Okay, okay. 53 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,447 I crushed you at the Chili Cook-off many times 54 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,781 before I retired. 55 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,182 - That was when I was a boy. 56 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,917 Face the man now. You see? 57 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,987 - Yeah. Well, my seven Chili Championships are behind me, 58 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,522 and I like being retired. 59 00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,591 - You're like Jordan, retiring at the top of your game. 60 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,726 - That's right. Because there were no more challenges, 61 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,394 and there still wouldn't be. 62 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,196 - Whoa. Whoa. - Okay. 63 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:12,931 And this year is gonna be a little bit different 64 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,468 because I got my uncle's famous chili recipe, 65 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,603 and I'm gonna blow y'all out of the water. 66 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,606 It's called--wait. 67 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,408 It's called--oh, my God. 68 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,278 - You should try a memory word-train. 69 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,945 You say a word 70 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,814 and it makes you think of the next word and so on 71 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,415 until you get back to the thing you were trying to remember. 72 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,817 - Oh, okay. Yeah, I heard that. 73 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,686 So you just, like, say it like a word-train. 74 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:37,756 Like, like, chili, chili-- chili dog, dog, doghouse, 75 00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:41,160 housework, work, work pants, pants pocket-- 76 00:02:41,296 --> 00:02:43,829 hey, my car keys. I didn't even know these were lost. 77 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:44,830 Thanks, Andy. That works. 78 00:02:44,966 --> 00:02:46,699 - Glad I could help, I guess. 79 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,702 - In honor of the 25th Annual A Shift Chili Cook-off, 80 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,038 I got us a little upgrade. 81 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,308 [chuckles] 82 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,443 [angelic choir singing] 83 00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:01,646 both: Oh, shit. The Chili Chalice. 84 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,182 - [chuckles] 85 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,650 I had them add some effects down at TakeHomeA Trophy. 86 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,252 It was 7 bucks. 87 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,188 50 bucks for insurance, but we can split that or whatever. 88 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:12,057 Man, look, Cap, you're all over this thing. 89 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,926 2016, Chili Wonka. 90 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,662 - Chili with a hint of chocolate to melt your heart. 91 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,130 - 2015, Chilary Swank, 92 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:22,201 2014, Winston ChurChili, 2013, Chili Nelson. 93 00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:24,203 - Oh, yeah. That one that gave you the munchies. 94 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,738 - But look at this new blank name space, though. 95 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:26,939 - I had them add another base 96 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,607 so we can add more names to it. 97 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,809 - All that empty space after my name 98 00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:33,812 makes the Penisi era look like ages ago. 99 00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:37,282 - And I'm okay with because I'm retired. End of story. 100 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:38,884 - Hey, where's our judge? 101 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,220 - Lucy's driving him from the dentist right now. 102 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:44,023 The dude just got all his wisdom teeth removed. 103 00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:46,559 - Is he gonna be able to judge? - You tell me. 104 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:49,562 Lucy just went live-streaming on "Boi-oi-oing." 105 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,163 - [babbles incoherently] 106 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:55,901 Lower seals! Lower seals! [laughter] 107 00:03:56,037 --> 00:03:57,703 Hey, it's a safari. Wanna go on a safari? 108 00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,304 They got lions and tigers. 109 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,306 They got rhinoceroses. They got wildebeests. 110 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,909 Often they have safaris on the Serengeti. 111 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,310 Have you ever been to Serengeti before? 112 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,180 - Man, these videos are so embarrassing. 113 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,914 I'm telling you, that's a good lesson to young people, 114 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,249 though, right? - Yeah. 115 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,517 - Stay away from the dentist. 116 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,119 - No, that's not the lesson. 117 00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,455 - I'm gonna get one of those squirrel suits. 118 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,522 You wear a squirrel suit before? 119 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,058 - No, Dad. 120 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:20,726 - You can fly off cliffs with 'em. They're skin tight. 121 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,195 Super tight. It's skin tight. - [laughing] 122 00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:26,799 - Lower seals! Lower seals! 123 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,734 I don't know why the seals won't go down. 124 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,404 - Wow, you are Boing-ing like crazy. 125 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,072 - Lucy, is this real life? 126 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,408 [upbeat music] 127 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,944 Hey. Whoo! 128 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,547 Throw me in the ball pit. - He is lunchmeat. 129 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,949 - What's up, Eddie! Hey. 130 00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:46,551 You wanna ride the rollercoaster with me? 131 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,553 Oh! - Whoo. 132 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:52,425 - Ah! - [chuckling] Yeah. 133 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,826 - [laughs] - That's a good one. 134 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,160 - Hey, hey! - Hey. 135 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,895 - I got an owl box. - I know. 136 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,431 - You know I got an owl box? - I helped you put it up. 137 00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,832 I helped you put it up. - I put it in my backyard. 138 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,967 I have a rodent problem. You know rodents? 139 00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:03,368 - Yes. 140 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:06,639 - Owls eat rabbits, gophers, skunks, moles, monkeys. 141 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:07,973 - Do you have monkeys on your land? 142 00:05:08,109 --> 00:05:09,708 - Yeah, gopher monkeys. - Gopher monkeys? 143 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,043 - Yeah. You ever seen gopher monkeys before? 144 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,577 - No. What do they eat? Underground bananas? 145 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:13,979 - They eat rocks. - A rock monkey? 146 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,114 - I wish things could always be this way. 147 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,982 - Hey, I saw you on the social media. 148 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,851 - The social media, huh? - Yeah. 149 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,853 - Well, did you see that I was kind of blowing up? 150 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,788 - You know, there are people-- - Hey, hey. 151 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,056 - Who don't like those kind of videos. 152 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,858 - Did you know I got an owl box? 153 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,660 - Especially dentist ones. - Hey, I got an owl box. 154 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:28,994 - And this is one of them. I know. 155 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,195 I helped you put up the owl box. 156 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:31,530 - I don't mean to interrupt. Go ahead. 157 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:32,798 - Do you know how hard it is 158 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,333 to get a video to spring on Boi-oi-oing? 159 00:05:34,469 --> 00:05:36,735 He got me 100 re-bounces. I mean, if he keeps this up, 160 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,471 he could be the next Cranberry Juice Guy. 161 00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,806 - How come my legs don't go up? - Did you ask his permission? 162 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,541 - Yeah. I mean, of course I asked him. 163 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:43,809 - You like pickles? - I love pickles. 164 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,210 - Dill? - Dill, fried. 165 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,680 - Gherkins? - How do you not love this? 166 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,483 - Just be careful. - I got it. I got it. 167 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,817 - Nice one, Chief. 168 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,418 - Whoa, who's this guy? - Andy. 169 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,220 - Is he real, this guy? - Yeah, he's real. 170 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:59,024 - Yeah. Hey, are you excited about a little Chili Cook-off? 171 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,293 - Oh, it's gonna be super awesome. 172 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,894 - Oh, yeah. - I've been watching it on TV. 173 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,496 - No, we're gonna be doing it here. 174 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,897 - No, it's been on ESPN. 175 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,231 - I was thinking that maybe 176 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,301 I'd use a recipe from the islands. 177 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:09,568 - Hawaii. - Yeah. 178 00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:10,903 But do you like pineapple? 179 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,705 - I like in piña coladas. - That's great. 180 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,239 - Do you like piña colada? - I do. 181 00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,641 - One time when she was 16-years-old, 182 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,711 I caught Lucy drinking piña colada. 183 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,179 - Oh, God. 184 00:06:20,181 --> 00:06:21,780 - Such a great story. - Yeah, thanks, man. 185 00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,048 - Well, that's all I needed to hear. Goodnight. 186 00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:24,249 - It's got a lot of vitamins in it. 187 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,650 - Great. 188 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:26,919 - Hey, when will I see you again? 189 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,854 - Still gonna be here. - Lucy! Lucy! 190 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,122 - Hey, are we gonna do the morning meeting today? 191 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,457 - When is today? - Um, now. 192 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,193 - You don't have to, Chief. - No, let's do it. 193 00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:36,229 Morning meeting? That's my favorite thing. 194 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,541 - Oof. - Be careful, Chief. 195 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:52,144 [all groaning] 196 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,746 - Kinda looks like a Fruit Roll-Up. 197 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,414 Granny, is he supposed to do that? 198 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:56,481 - No. 199 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,550 How much more is there? 200 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:58,817 - Almost done. [groans] 201 00:06:58,953 --> 00:07:00,485 - Ugh. - That hurt. 202 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,955 - Oh, God. - Ugh. 203 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,225 - Good. So that's done. - Enough of that, right? 204 00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,760 Right now I'm gonna open the floor up to questions. 205 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,762 - Hey, if we're doing questions, can I-- 206 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,697 - Yeah, muscles. Go. 207 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,966 - If you had to get rid of one fire fighter out of all us... 208 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,834 - Uh-oh. - Be honest. 209 00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,169 Would it be Andy? - Hey. 210 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,637 - It definitely would not be Andy 211 00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:20,039 because I often use his toothbrush. 212 00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:21,640 [chuckles] He didn't know it, 213 00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:23,376 but, you know, sometimes when I don't have my toothbrush, 214 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,643 I use his toothbrush. 215 00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,245 - What did you say? 216 00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:28,047 - I find you to be the most hygienically sound. 217 00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:30,115 [chuckles] - What do you mean? 218 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,250 Like, he got the cleanest mouth? 219 00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:32,985 - Yeah, he's got a super clean mouth. 220 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,787 Look at him. He's like a little, round bar of soap. 221 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,188 - That is so weird, Dad. 222 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,522 - You know what I'm talking 'bout? 223 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,192 - I'm gonna change the subject. 224 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,993 Hey, Chief, I have a question. - Yeah, go, you in the front. 225 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,995 - Will we be getting raises this year? 226 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,397 - Will we be getting racist this year? 227 00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,199 Young lady, you're new to this department, 228 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,200 but that's bullshit. 229 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,068 - No, no, no. Raises this year. 230 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,270 - Braces? Andy could use some braces, 231 00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:52,671 if you know what I'm talking about. 232 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,206 - Whoa! - That's rude. 233 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,674 - Chief, c'mon, you gotta lay off with that. 234 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,875 - What is happening? 235 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,211 - Raises! An increase in salary. 236 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,946 - Oh, raises. 237 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:04,483 I'll tell you what, if I were Andy and I was getting a raise, 238 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,018 I'd use the money to straighten my teeth out. 239 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,420 - Okay, okay. C'mon, c'mon. 240 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,821 - You know what I'm saying? No offense. 241 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,355 - Is this a roast? - Chief. 242 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,157 - And you, stop putting lemon in your hair, Ike. 243 00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:14,827 - What? I'm not putting-- I don't put lemon in my hair. 244 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,095 - It makes your hair a weird color, bro. 245 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,563 - Chief, you need some water. 246 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:18,697 - Just man to man, I'm telling you. 247 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,099 - Don't use a straw. 248 00:08:20,101 --> 00:08:21,634 The suction can cause dry socket. 249 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:24,103 - Ooh, dry socket. I don't even know what that is. 250 00:08:24,105 --> 00:08:25,638 - What's dry socket? 251 00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,372 - It's when suction pops a blood clot inside the wound. 252 00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:29,174 - You know what this room could use? An owl box. 253 00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,043 - C'mon. C'mon, dude. C'mon. 254 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,378 - An owl box, just an owl box. Do you have an owl box? 255 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,514 - How did I not just film all of that? 256 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,783 - Mm. - Hoo. 257 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,118 - ♪ Ah ♪ - Oh, he's back. 258 00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:43,122 - ♪ [vocalizing high notes] ♪ 259 00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:44,323 This is great, man. 260 00:08:44,459 --> 00:08:45,658 We should have a Chili Cook-off, right? 261 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:46,792 - That's a good idea. 262 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,327 - Should we? - Yeah. 263 00:08:48,329 --> 00:08:49,862 - Here's one thing, though. See that blanks space? 264 00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:51,664 What happened to all your champion-shipses? 265 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,198 - I added a base plate to put more names for more winners. 266 00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:55,000 - Yeah, but all the blank space 267 00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:57,002 makes it look like he's never won anything before. 268 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,737 [laughter] 269 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,740 Right? Huh? I'm gonna go have some pudding out of this, okay? 270 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:02,741 - Go for it. - I'll see you later. 271 00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:04,209 - Okay, take her easy. 272 00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:06,011 - I'll see you guys later. What's up, cup? 273 00:09:06,147 --> 00:09:07,880 - All right. [whistles] 274 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,283 - You guys, we could still do this. 275 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,217 Chief's gonna be back to his old self soon. 276 00:09:12,353 --> 00:09:13,819 - Is he even gonna be able to chew, though? 277 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,288 - Yeah, he'll be fine in a couple hours. 278 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,022 We should definitely do the Chili Cook-off. 279 00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:19,024 - We? - Yeah, we. 280 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,226 If Jordan could unretire, then so can I. 281 00:09:21,362 --> 00:09:22,828 And I'm gonna join this year's Cook-off. 282 00:09:22,964 --> 00:09:26,833 And I'm gonna kick all y'all's asses. 283 00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,138 - So this is a recipe from my Hawaiian ancestors, 284 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,274 and Chief says he already loves it. 285 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,142 So I'm excited. [chuckles] 286 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,679 - But here is the big story. Coming out of retirement, 287 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:43,615 seven-time champion Captain Eddie Penisi. 288 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,817 - That's right, seven time champion. Seven. 289 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,419 - What's it feel like to be back? 290 00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:49,889 - It's like putting on an old slipper. Whoo! 291 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,358 [pot clatters] [laughter] 292 00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:53,759 - Hey, Lucy. 293 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,227 If you're gonna do a show, introduce the star. 294 00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:56,762 Come down here. - Oh, come on. 295 00:09:56,898 --> 00:09:58,830 - My apologies. Granny, tell us what's going down here. 296 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:01,166 - Well, as two-time defending champ, 297 00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:02,902 I'm getting a little creative, 298 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:07,506 so I will be making a chili with a zesty cheese base. 299 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,709 - [imitates buzzer] That sounds like a queso. 300 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:12,912 A chili can be a lot of things, but it's definitely not yellow. 301 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:16,248 - All right. Ike, what's in your chili? 302 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:19,985 - Uh, it's a mystery. So. 303 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,054 - Ooh, he's playing it coy, folks. 304 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,723 - No, no, it's actually a mystery to me. 305 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,657 I have no idea 'cause I don't have my uncle's recipe. 306 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,393 I lost it, so I don't know what to do with-- 307 00:10:27,395 --> 00:10:29,328 - Ike, you should use the memory word-train. 308 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,996 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. 309 00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:32,598 Just give me one second. 310 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,201 Recipe, recipe book, book, book smart, 311 00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,336 smartass, asshole, whole onion. 312 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,805 Whole onion. That's it. 313 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,074 I got tons of whole onions. 314 00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:44,276 [chuckling] Hope you like it spicy. 315 00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:46,345 - All right, Rachael Ray, your turn. 316 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,013 - Okay. 317 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,482 I have a recipe and I have a special ingredient in it 318 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,553 that is going to blow the tits off this place. 319 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,021 And it's vegetarian. 320 00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:57,823 - Vegetarian as in turkey meat? 321 00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,292 - No. It's a plant-based beef substitute called 322 00:11:00,294 --> 00:11:02,762 Implausible Meat. [bell rings] 323 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,764 [laughter] 324 00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:06,432 - Do you know who the judge is? 325 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:10,169 - We call him Chief because he likes chicken and beef. 326 00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:11,637 - Well, over the past few months, I've been mixing 327 00:11:11,639 --> 00:11:13,773 Implausible Meat into his burgers and meatloaf. 328 00:11:13,908 --> 00:11:17,109 I've reconditioned his palate and he has no idea. 329 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,778 - That's implausible. 330 00:11:18,913 --> 00:11:20,712 - Clever girl. 331 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,782 - Son of a bitch. 332 00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:23,983 - That's cheating. 333 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,584 - It's the long game, Granny. 334 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,319 - Whatever. You chilennials can have your fake meat 335 00:11:27,321 --> 00:11:29,054 and your pineapple and your queso. 336 00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:31,591 I just stick to a good, old-fashioned chili. 337 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,058 Keep It Simple Stew-pid. 338 00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:34,660 - I think I know what my Dad likes. 339 00:11:34,796 --> 00:11:35,995 - Well, I've known your Dad 340 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,329 since his cholesterol was under 300. 341 00:11:37,465 --> 00:11:40,600 - You knew him in the womb? [laughter] 342 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,201 Hey, Chief, we were just talking about you. 343 00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:45,805 - Your ears must be burning. - [groaning] 344 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,139 Why's everybody standing around? 345 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,540 It doesn't take all day to bake chili. 346 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,075 - Oh. I think his anesthesia wore off. 347 00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:52,011 - What's that? Fruit in your chili? 348 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,745 - Yeah. - Hot fruit's disgusting. 349 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,148 - But I thought you said you were gonna like this, Chief. 350 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,083 I'm calling it Beaña Colada. 351 00:11:58,219 --> 00:11:59,551 - I never said that. 352 00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:01,086 Fruit should be eaten at room temperature 353 00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:02,488 and only when your wife tells you to. 354 00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:03,823 - Hey, Chief, 355 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,357 remember coming back from the dentist this morning? 356 00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:06,826 - I remember everything. You guys are lucky 357 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,494 nobody video'd me because it would be trouble. 358 00:12:08,496 --> 00:12:10,496 There's nothing worse than those stupid videos 359 00:12:10,632 --> 00:12:12,498 with those pathetic idiots coming home from the dentist. 360 00:12:12,634 --> 00:12:15,367 - They do get a lot of boings. - It's an invasion of privacy! 361 00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:16,968 Ow. [sighs] 362 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,371 The pain in my mouth is getting exponentially worse. 363 00:12:19,507 --> 00:12:20,772 And I'm hungry. So we're gonna do 364 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:24,844 this chili contest in exactly one half hour. 365 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,646 [groaning] 366 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,114 - Hey, is your dad taking his medication? 367 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,782 - They gave him pain pills but he won't take 'em. 368 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,118 - Why not? - He says he doesn't need them. 369 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,855 - Ugh. Why do old, white men do that? 370 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,123 [soft dramatic music] 371 00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:39,458 ♪ ♪ 372 00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,661 - Don't look at me. I love medication. 373 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:42,728 And I'm not old. 374 00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:43,795 [upbeat music] 375 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,464 - [groans] 376 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,999 - C'mon, dude, you don't have to suffer through this. 377 00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:48,534 Lucy brought your medication. 378 00:12:48,536 --> 00:12:51,803 You should take it. Here. Yeah. 379 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,072 - I don't need pain meds. 380 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,207 I'm a McConky. McConkys can handle pain. 381 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:59,078 - You had oral surgery, man. - So what? 382 00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:00,946 My wife gave birth without drugs. 383 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,415 I think I'm man enough to handle a little toothache. 384 00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:05,751 Dismissed! - [sighs] 385 00:13:05,887 --> 00:13:08,087 - 20 minutes! 386 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:11,090 [dramatic music] 387 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:16,762 ♪ ♪ 388 00:13:16,764 --> 00:13:17,963 - [slow-motion laughter] 389 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:24,136 ♪ ♪ 390 00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:32,111 - Done. With eight minutes to spare. 391 00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,780 - Figures. Old people love to eat early. 392 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:36,181 - [chuckles] That's cute, Granny. 393 00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:37,983 I remember my second championship. 394 00:13:38,119 --> 00:13:39,985 - And I'm on my way to my third. 395 00:13:40,121 --> 00:13:41,453 - Hmm. Well, if you do it, 396 00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:44,256 don't forget to thank the dairy farmers. What? 397 00:13:44,392 --> 00:13:45,525 - There's seven minutes left here, 398 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:46,926 and everyone is up against the clock 399 00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:48,728 except Granny and Cap 400 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,730 seem to be more interested in slinging zings than chili. 401 00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,264 - Lucy, stop messing around! 402 00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:53,533 Live in the moment, for God's sake. 403 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,600 - Okay. 404 00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:55,935 - Why do I still smell pineapple? 405 00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,137 - What? - [growls] 406 00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,739 - What am I supposed to do? 407 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:03,008 I already took all the pineapple chunks out of there. 408 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,411 - [groaning] 409 00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:07,613 [soft dramatic music] 410 00:14:07,749 --> 00:14:11,083 ♪ ♪ 411 00:14:11,085 --> 00:14:14,153 - That looks more like sloppy joes. 412 00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,687 - This is my Uncle Joe's recipe. 413 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,556 How did you even know we call him Sloppy? 414 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,560 - You made sloppy joes instead of chili. 415 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,094 - Oh, no. 416 00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:24,563 Sloppy joe, Uncle Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe Biden. 417 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,032 biding my time, time's up. I'm fucked. 418 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:30,569 - [groaning] 419 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:31,837 - [sighs] 420 00:14:31,973 --> 00:14:35,908 ♪ ♪ 421 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,710 30 seconds! I need water. 422 00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:40,646 - But--Chief! 423 00:14:40,782 --> 00:14:41,847 Chief, no! 424 00:14:41,849 --> 00:14:44,049 [pop] - [groaning] 425 00:14:44,185 --> 00:14:47,920 - He popped the clot! Dry socket! 426 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:51,190 [all screaming] 427 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,325 [energetic music] 428 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:57,329 ♪ ♪ 429 00:14:57,465 --> 00:14:59,865 - Oh, my God! 430 00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,200 No, no, no, no! 431 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,401 - What the hell are you doing? 432 00:15:02,536 --> 00:15:04,403 - I'm totally springing right now. 433 00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:07,739 I'm getting so many re-bounces. 434 00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:09,475 I could be an influencer! 435 00:15:09,477 --> 00:15:12,812 - This Cook-off is cancelled! [screams] 436 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,147 [app boinging] 437 00:15:15,149 --> 00:15:18,350 - I like him better with his wisdom teeth. 438 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,019 [chuckles] 439 00:15:20,154 --> 00:15:21,621 [soft upbeat music] 440 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,355 I'm actually happy that the cook-off is over 441 00:15:23,491 --> 00:15:25,691 'cause now I can put some pineapple back into my chili 442 00:15:25,827 --> 00:15:27,092 and have a great dinner. 443 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,228 - I can't believe we did all this work for nothing. 444 00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:30,696 - The dry socket tirade 445 00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:32,431 did get me a shitload more followers. 446 00:15:32,566 --> 00:15:34,634 Implausible Meat even started following me. 447 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,302 - See? 448 00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:37,769 - If only there was a way we could get him to take his meds. 449 00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:39,571 Then he'd be able to judge again. 450 00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,507 - And I could get so many more followers. 451 00:15:41,509 --> 00:15:43,108 - The man won't use medicated lip balm. 452 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,577 There's no chance he's taking those meds on his own. 453 00:15:45,579 --> 00:15:48,714 [upbeat music] 454 00:15:48,850 --> 00:15:55,788 ♪ ♪ 455 00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:02,194 - Hey, Dad. Here's some chocolate milk. 456 00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,462 It'll make you feel better. 457 00:16:03,597 --> 00:16:07,399 ♪ ♪ 458 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,268 - Hey, Chief, brought your favorite pudding. 459 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,203 - [mouth full] Thank you. 460 00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:12,204 - All right, eat it. 461 00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:16,208 ♪ ♪ 462 00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:17,476 - You put it in my mouth? - No. 463 00:16:17,611 --> 00:16:18,944 You're supposed to rub it on your body. 464 00:16:18,946 --> 00:16:20,279 Ah! 465 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,813 I don't let my wife touch my neck. 466 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,283 - What neck? You're like a snowman. 467 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:29,021 ♪ ♪ 468 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,089 - Mm, that's a good chowder. 469 00:16:30,224 --> 00:16:32,558 - May I? - Hey, take it easy. 470 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,360 - No, no, it's good. This will add flavor. 471 00:16:34,362 --> 00:16:35,427 - I'm on statins. 472 00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:40,966 ♪ ♪ 473 00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:41,967 [peanut brittle taps] 474 00:16:41,969 --> 00:16:43,435 ♪ ♪ 475 00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,970 I can't eat peanut brittle. 476 00:16:44,972 --> 00:16:46,906 - Oh, 'cause you--you don't wanna hurt your teeth. 477 00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:48,307 - Peanut brittle! It's peanut brittle! 478 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:49,509 - I know. Sorry. 479 00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:51,243 Idiot! 480 00:16:51,245 --> 00:16:58,384 ♪ ♪ 481 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:12,998 - Don't judge me. 482 00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:20,273 ♪ ♪ 483 00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:26,345 [upbeat music] 484 00:17:26,347 --> 00:17:32,885 ♪ ♪ 485 00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:34,687 - Ah. - Hey, what's up, dude? 486 00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:36,755 - What's in the oven? Thought the contest was over. 487 00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:39,025 - So did I. Then I saw you stirring. 488 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,492 - Well, you never know. 489 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,694 Maybe the Chief will suddenly feel better. 490 00:17:41,696 --> 00:17:42,961 - Mm. That's what I thought. 491 00:17:43,097 --> 00:17:44,496 And as you know, 492 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,365 any good firefighter always stays prepared. 493 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,634 - [sniffs] Oh, yeah. Who's making steak? 494 00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,436 - You son of a bitch. You're pivoting. 495 00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:53,239 - [goofy laugh] 496 00:17:53,374 --> 00:17:54,707 What's up, guys? - Hey, Chief. 497 00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,042 Okay. - Hey. 498 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:59,978 I'm coming over here. What's up Ike-oroni? 499 00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:02,180 - I'm pretty good. - The San Francisco treat. 500 00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:04,050 - [chuckles] Oops. We good. 501 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:07,853 - [chuckling] Whoo-hoo! Oh, man, I feel good. 502 00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:08,855 - You look good. 503 00:18:08,989 --> 00:18:10,256 - My neck smells fantastic. Smell it. 504 00:18:10,391 --> 00:18:11,790 - Huh? - You wanna smell it? 505 00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:13,059 - Oh, yeah. - What's it smell like? 506 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,727 - Smells like flowers. 507 00:18:14,729 --> 00:18:15,994 - Piña colada, piña colada. - Yeah, piña colada. 508 00:18:15,996 --> 00:18:17,329 - Piña Colada, right? - Yeah. 509 00:18:17,331 --> 00:18:18,597 So I'm feeling really good. 510 00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:21,600 And I'm thinking the contest is back on. 511 00:18:21,736 --> 00:18:23,201 - Oh! - Sweet. 512 00:18:23,337 --> 00:18:26,272 - You know what? I liked my milk and my pudding so much, 513 00:18:26,407 --> 00:18:28,474 I think you should blend the chilis. Right? 514 00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:30,476 - What do you mean? Like in a blender? 515 00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,545 - Yeah, man. That would be dope. 516 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,613 Don't you think? I mean, do you wanna chew? 517 00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,615 - No, sir. I mean-- - Do you wanna chew? 518 00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:38,150 - Don't have to chew. - Who wants to chew? 519 00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:40,018 You wanna chew? - No, it hurts my teeth. 520 00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,820 - It's too much exercise. Let's cut the middleman, right? 521 00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,355 - Okay, yeah. Who needs a middleman? 522 00:18:43,357 --> 00:18:45,892 - Liquefy the bitch. [chuckles] 523 00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:48,360 C'mon, 15 minutes. 524 00:18:48,496 --> 00:18:49,695 Whoa! What's up, man? 525 00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:52,431 What's up? Vertical leap! 526 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:55,434 [dramatic music] 527 00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:59,438 ♪ ♪ 528 00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:03,375 [snoring] 529 00:19:03,377 --> 00:19:05,978 ♪ ♪ 530 00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:08,246 Huh? 531 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,715 What are we waiting for? 532 00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:13,185 - You, your honor. - Oh. [chuckles] Let's begin. 533 00:19:13,187 --> 00:19:17,256 - Andy Myawani's, sir, and I'm presenting to you Beaña Colada. 534 00:19:17,391 --> 00:19:18,590 - That's funny. - Enjoy. 535 00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:20,126 - Beaña Colada. 536 00:19:20,261 --> 00:19:22,060 Mm. 537 00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:26,132 Seems like someone was trying to hide the taste of pineapple. 538 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:30,068 And we all know hot fruit is not dope. 539 00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:31,069 [dramatic music] 540 00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:33,071 [blows raspberry] 541 00:19:33,073 --> 00:19:36,074 - My submission is Mission Implausible. 542 00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:38,611 - I don't understand it, but okay. [chuckles] 543 00:19:38,746 --> 00:19:42,214 Mm--oh, my God, this is disgusting. 544 00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:43,615 [laughter] 545 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:44,951 Is this that Implausible Meat shit 546 00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:47,019 that you give me at home? - You knew about that? 547 00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:50,088 - Yeah. This stuff sucks. - Ha! 548 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:52,090 - Tastes like a house plant took a shit. 549 00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:53,559 Implausibly sucky. 550 00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:55,694 Last place! [blows raspberry] 551 00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:56,963 What's this one all about? 552 00:19:57,097 --> 00:20:00,098 Sloppy Joe's chili. - Oh, you'll like it. 553 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,167 ♪ ♪ 554 00:20:01,302 --> 00:20:02,768 - Pretty good. 555 00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:05,771 If it was a sloppy joe contest, but it's not. 556 00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:07,573 - No, I guess not. - Disqualified. 557 00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,375 [blows raspberry] - Thanks for trying it. 558 00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:11,443 - Hey, Chiefy. 559 00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:14,313 My entry: Keep It Simple Stew-pid. 560 00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:16,048 - All right. 561 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:18,784 Oh, first of all, you spelled stupid wrong, stupid. 562 00:20:18,919 --> 00:20:20,987 [slurps] 563 00:20:21,121 --> 00:20:23,055 Steak. - Mm-hmm. 564 00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:24,056 - Medium rare. 565 00:20:24,192 --> 00:20:25,658 - Just the way you like it, Chief. 566 00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:28,260 - Potatoes. This is delicious, Captain. 567 00:20:28,262 --> 00:20:30,262 - Wait. Liquefied steak and potatoes? 568 00:20:30,398 --> 00:20:31,530 Are you kidding me? 569 00:20:31,532 --> 00:20:32,931 - Yeah. Well, sometimes 570 00:20:32,933 --> 00:20:36,202 you gotta change your recipe-nizi on the fly. 571 00:20:36,337 --> 00:20:39,405 - Hey, look at that. Appetizers. Cheese All That. 572 00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:40,873 Oh, yeah, man, that's pretty good. 573 00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:43,209 - Dad, be careful. - Chief. Chief. 574 00:20:43,344 --> 00:20:45,477 - It doesn't matter. Can't feel a thing. 575 00:20:45,479 --> 00:20:46,945 - No! - These chips are pointy. 576 00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:49,615 - No! - Oh, gosh. 577 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,417 - Chief. - C'mon, Chief. 578 00:20:51,552 --> 00:20:52,818 - Oh, this is gold. 579 00:20:52,953 --> 00:20:54,286 - You guys want some? all: No. 580 00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:55,621 - Okay, listen up. 581 00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:58,624 I am prepared to announce the winner. 582 00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:00,893 And the winner... 583 00:21:01,029 --> 00:21:06,098 of the contest... [app boinging] 584 00:21:06,234 --> 00:21:09,702 is... 585 00:21:09,704 --> 00:21:14,240 - Dad. Dad, wake up. 586 00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:15,574 - Hey, there he is. 587 00:21:15,576 --> 00:21:18,777 - The winner is... 588 00:21:18,913 --> 00:21:23,582 Beaña Colada. [all exclaiming] 589 00:21:23,584 --> 00:21:26,385 - What? - You hate hot fruit. 590 00:21:26,387 --> 00:21:27,653 - C'mon. - Want one? 591 00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:30,122 - No, thanks. Here you go, little buddy. 592 00:21:30,258 --> 00:21:34,793 - Oh, thank you so much. Thank you, Chief, so much. 593 00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:38,664 Thank you, Chief. Wow. 594 00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:40,532 - Breathe in, man. - [chuckling] Wow. 595 00:21:40,534 --> 00:21:41,868 [sighs] 596 00:21:42,002 --> 00:21:45,003 [crying] Here we are, the champ. 597 00:21:45,005 --> 00:21:47,874 And it started at a little island in Hawaii. 598 00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,076 My ancestors went across-- 599 00:21:50,210 --> 00:21:52,078 - What the hell are you guys doing? 600 00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:53,746 - What? What are we doing? 601 00:21:53,748 --> 00:21:55,481 - This is how you treat your friend? 602 00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,216 Your father? Your chief? - Oh, man. 603 00:21:58,218 --> 00:22:03,089 - And Lucy, you live-streamed him like this out to the world? 604 00:22:03,223 --> 00:22:04,490 - But it's so hard to go viral. 605 00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:07,359 - Vicky, what are you doin' here? 606 00:22:07,495 --> 00:22:11,430 - I saw you on the internet. You're a meme. 607 00:22:11,432 --> 00:22:12,898 - What's that supposed to meme? 608 00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:14,366 [chuckles] - [chuckles half-heartedly] 609 00:22:14,368 --> 00:22:15,367 [imitates rim shot] 610 00:22:15,369 --> 00:22:16,769 - Mom, please don't. 611 00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:18,304 [quirky dramatic music] 612 00:22:18,439 --> 00:22:20,639 ♪ ♪ 613 00:22:20,775 --> 00:22:23,375 - Who's that guy? He looks like an asshole. 614 00:22:23,377 --> 00:22:24,510 [chuckles] 615 00:22:24,645 --> 00:22:25,811 [snoring] 616 00:22:27,648 --> 00:22:28,914 - There he is. 617 00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:30,983 - Look who's name is on the chalice. 618 00:22:30,985 --> 00:22:33,919 [chuckles] Andy Myawani. Whoo! 619 00:22:34,054 --> 00:22:37,523 Beaña Colada. They even got the enye in there. 620 00:22:37,658 --> 00:22:38,724 - Congrats, Andy. 621 00:22:38,859 --> 00:22:40,392 - Thank you. - What the hell? 622 00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:42,260 I can't get into my Boi-oi-oing account. 623 00:22:42,262 --> 00:22:43,729 - That's because I shut it down. 624 00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:45,464 - What? - Oh, no-oi-oi-oi-oing. 625 00:22:45,466 --> 00:22:47,266 - Yeah. When I saw the videos you posted 626 00:22:47,401 --> 00:22:49,802 without my permission, I filed a complaint. 627 00:22:49,804 --> 00:22:51,737 Your account has been suspended indefinitely. 628 00:22:51,872 --> 00:22:53,806 - No, no, no. What about my new followers? 629 00:22:53,808 --> 00:22:55,741 - They took 'em away. - No. Dad. 630 00:22:55,876 --> 00:22:57,543 - And I am banning all employees 631 00:22:57,678 --> 00:22:59,946 from using B-boi-oi-oing in the workplace. 632 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,880 - I think that's a little extreme. 633 00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:04,951 - Pineapple chili. What was I thinking? 634 00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,153 Ugh. No more pain meds. 635 00:23:07,287 --> 00:23:10,022 - Hey, don't sweat it, Lucy. Followers shmollowers. 636 00:23:10,158 --> 00:23:12,024 What does social media really get you? 637 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,026 - Yeah, it's not like somebody's in their office 638 00:23:14,028 --> 00:23:16,028 right now saying, "Hey, get that Lucy McConky on the line. 639 00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:17,229 We need to give her a million dollars." 640 00:23:17,365 --> 00:23:21,300 - [chuckles] - Yeah, I guess so. 641 00:23:21,435 --> 00:23:24,637 - Oh, my God. This stuff sucks. 642 00:23:24,639 --> 00:23:26,438 Implausible Meat? Ugh. 643 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,707 Tastes like a house plant took a shit. 644 00:23:28,843 --> 00:23:30,376 - Okay, that's rude. 645 00:23:30,511 --> 00:23:32,311 - I really thought Lucy McConky would be the new face 646 00:23:32,446 --> 00:23:34,580 of Implausible Meat, but I guess not. 647 00:23:34,715 --> 00:23:37,650 - She doesn't even have a Boi-oi-oing account any more. 648 00:23:37,652 --> 00:23:39,518 - Oh, what a loser. 649 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,387 Reach out to that firefighter in Pittsburgh. 650 00:23:41,522 --> 00:23:43,522 The one who made Implausible Mince Meat Pie for her station. 651 00:23:43,524 --> 00:23:46,859 She will be, like, so dope. - Good idea, Becky. 652 00:23:46,861 --> 00:23:48,661 Oh, and she has a cat named Penguin. 653 00:23:48,663 --> 00:23:50,128 Our demo's gonna go insane. 654 00:23:50,130 --> 00:23:51,530 - Oh, my God. I would've never thought of that. 655 00:23:51,532 --> 00:23:54,066 - I know. So innovative. 656 00:23:54,068 --> 00:23:56,068 - Too bad, Lucy McConky. 657 00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:58,404 You will never know how close you came. 658 00:23:58,539 --> 00:23:59,872 Buh-bye.