[rock music]
- Four serving three.
- Ohh! - [laughs]
Yeah. - Ohh-ohh! Ohh!
- Okay. Whew.
Ohh!
- Ahhhh-ah!
- Push through! Push through! All you!
Gimme. Give it to me. Back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back.
- Ahh! Yeah, boy! - Yeah!
- Tits for days, pal. Bing, bang, bong.
I just want to crack you in the back of your head
with a hammer fist, man.
Yeah!
- Hey, Luce, you want to play Tennis Balls with us?
- Yeah, we've talked about this.
The stakes aren't really the same for me.
- Huh, okay, suit yourself.
- You guys, I just won free concert tickets
to the Tacoma Dome tonight. Who wants in?
- Who's playing? - Tay Tay McVee.
- "Pasta Party for Two" Tay Tay McVee?
- Yeah. - [gasps]
No, thank you.
- Are you trying to insult our masculinity on purpose?
- What? She's awesome.
- Heh. - Ike, I heard you listen
to her stuff the other day.
- What? - Oh.
- Ohh. - Ahh, you know what that was?
This chick put it in my playlist in my Spotify.
I wasn't going to see the whole concert.
- Okay. - Maybe you guys want
to do that.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. - Come on.
- So no one is interested?
- Tell you what, Lucy.
You let us know the next time a dude man comes through town.
- Ohh!
- You guys are the worst.
- Oh, you got both balls on that one.
- You've only got on, Cap.
- He's right. Must be my phantom nut.
[laughs]
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Well I'm hot blooded ♪
♪ Check it and see ♪
♪ I got a fever of 103
♪ I'm hot blooded ♪
[rock music]
- It still blows my mind that I can't find anybody
to go to this concert with me.
I need different friends. - Try somebody with estrogen.
Come on, Ike. Let's go.
- I always do what you guys want to do,
but whenever I suggest something,
you're like, "No, that's a chick flick.
"No that's a chick restaurant."
No, that's a chick supplement."
- Ohh! - Oh!
both: Yeah!
- All right, I'm getting a drink.
[rock music]
both: Whiskey neat.
Jinx.
[laughter]
- Are you a firefighter?
- Yeah, Station 27.
- Station 24. [laughs]
Wait, what's your name?
- Delilah. - I'm Lucy.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Do you guys know that it's my five-year anniversary
at the station.
- Hey, you know what that means, right?
- What? - Chief owes you
a five-year anniversary meal.
- What's that? - Chief takes people out
for the most expensive meal on their five-year anniversary.
- Wait, really? - You tell him where
you want to go, and he'll pay for it.
- I mean, what would we even talk about?
- Stallone.
He loves to talk about Stallone movies.
- Ahh, he does. - "Judge Dredd"? "Judge Dredd"?
"Judge Dredd"? - Yeah, yeah, exactly.
- Oh, this is awesome.
Um, you guys want another drink?
- Yeah, man. - Yeah, of course.
- Chief never took me out for any, like,
five-year anniversary dinner or anything.
- That's because he's not getting anybody
a five-year anniversary dinner; I made it up.
I just want to see Andy's face when he asks Chief
for a free dinner.
[laughter]
- That's awesome.
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
- Ha-ha.
Come on.
There we go. Nice doing business with ya.
- Whatever.
- Hello.
You ever play doubles?
Wow, Linda Price.
I had no idea you could run a table like that.
- Well, Captain, there's a lot more to me
than legislative policy making.
- Well, have you ever seen this before?
Ooh, careful, it's hot.
- Doesn't even feel warm.
- Oh, okay. Well, have at it.
- [laughs] Okay.
Very nice, Ms. Price.
But have you ever left a bar with more money
than when you entered?
- You mean gamble? - Yeah.
- No, no, no, no. - Yeah.
- I'm not that wild. - Yeah, you are.
Let's expand your horizons.
- Hold on, so Station 27 is all the way
on the other side of town.
What brings you over here?
I have two tickets
so I'm hoping to scalp.
- I have an extra ticket and no one to go with.
I won them this morning on KIPS The Wave.
- Are you Lucky Lucy? - That's me.
- I was totally listening.
You were frickin' hilarious.
- Oh, thank you.
So, um, are we gonna go to this concert or what?
- Yeah, buddy. Let's go.
- Hell yeah.
- You okay?
- It's a little nerve-racking.
There's $50 on the table.
- It's only gonna make it that much sweeter
when you drain this shot.
Go. - [sighs]
Oh! - Ahh!
[laughter]
- That was amazing.
- Thank you.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
I've never done this before.
- Neither have I - Seriously?
- I mean, well, never in this stall, no.
- No, I mean in public.
What if we get caught?
- That's the thrill, councilwoman.
- Ohh.
- Come on. That's not smart. She controls our budget.
- Relax. It was a one-time thing.
- Did you give her your A game? - No.
It was more like my C game.
That's a lot of game.
- Come on.
- What are you drinking?
- Tomato juice. You ever heard of it?
- Nobody drink tomato juice, unless they're on a plane
or they brought too much game last night.
- I didn't give too much game,
and it's not gonna happen again.
[knock at door] - Gentlemen.
- Councilwoman.
- Hey, you.
- What brings you by, councilwoman?
- I want to get your water usage report
for the quarterly budget.
- Well, you didn't have to come down here.
I could have emailed it to you.
- Well, you know, it's good for morale
when the elected officials come to visit the rank and file.
- Well, Captain, why don't you take the councilwoman
and got get the water reports.
- Sure. Yeah, let's do it.
- What are you drinking there?
- Tomato juice.
- Mind if, um...
[slurping]
- Hey, Chief. Oh, sorry.
- No problem.
The Captain and I were about to, uh, get the water report.
- Yeah. - Good luck.
Okay. Ma'am. - Mm-hmm.
- What did he just get off a flight?
- What's up, Andy?
- Oh, you know, just wanted to let you know
that this week marks five years at the station.
- Congratulations. Seems like yesterday.
- It wasn't.
It was five years ago this week.
- You know, it's my five-year anniversary.
- It's a great accomplishment.
- So I was just wondering about that free anniversary dinner.
- The what? - The free dinner
that you take everyone out
when they're celebrating their five-year anniversary.
- Who told you about that? - Granny and Ike.
- All right, you know what? Let's do it.
Let's have dinner together. - Nice. Okay.
- Yeah. - What about Il Lobsterino?
- Bleeder's Steakhouse, 6:00 p.m. Thursday night.
- Ooh, okay, yeah.
- And I'm etching it in my memory,
because I'm writing it in my calendar.
- Awesome. Well, thank you, Chief.
I look forward to dinner.
- See you then.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey. - [laughs]
- Hi. - Boom.
- You're done? - Yeah, I just asked him.
- Oh, yeah, really? - Yeah.
- Hmm, 'cause I didn't hear any screaming.
- Wait, why would I be yelling?
We're going to dinner on Thursday night.
- [laughs] - Ahh, that's good.
- What did he say, honestly, please?
- Bleeder's, Thursday night, me and him.
Thanks for clueing me in, Granny.
[laughs]
- Uh, I keep thinking about our little trist in the bathroom.
- Mm-hmm. - It was thrilling.
- And the stuff in the bedroom was great too.
- Yeah, but doing it in public was incredible.
- I agree.
- Ooh. - What?
- I just-- - What are--
- Are you trying to kiss me on the cheek? What are you--
- Yeah, well, I just thought I was gonna go just...
- Okay.
[both chuckle]
That's nice.
Okay.
Oh.
- Son of a bitch.
- Do you really think that was a good idea?
- Man, why does everyone keep saying that
It was a one-time thing.
- Let me ask you something.
Did you give her your A game?
- No, I gave her my C game.
- Cap, are you kidding me?
That's still a lot of game.
- I know. I know. I can't help it.
- And plus, it would be great
to have another woman on the shift.
If you could just pull some string and get her here,
it would be a total win-win.
- And she wants to be transferred?
- What? Yeah.
She doesn't like it at 27, and I know she's love it here.
Also, she was just saying how much
she respected you as a chief.
- Respected me? From what?
- Well, you might not know this,
but you have a very good reputation.
And people want to work for you.
- Mm. - Please?
It would be really nice to have another woman here.
- Let me think about it. - Yes.
Thank you, Dad.
- I didn't say yes.
- I know, but you won't regret it.
Mwah! - Oh, okay.
Let's keep it profesh up in here, huh?
- [squeals]
- I think I'm gonna regret it.
- Ohh! - Ahh!
- Ohh!
I feel like the devil pissed in my throat.
- It's like a river of lava
just flowing up my esophagus.
- What are you guys doing? - Heartburn war.
- Oh, yeah? Who's winning?
- I would say we're all losing, Cap.
- No, I put the most-- - Augh!
- Hey, everybody. - Hey, Chief.
- Listen up.
We have a new edition to the station.
Joining us all the way from Station 27,
this is Delilah Dunn, Everyone.
- Hey, everybody. - Oh, wow.
- Hi. Hi, hi, hi. - Welcome, welcome.
- Yeah, so treat her well. - Hi.
- What, you guys know each other?
- Yeah, we went to the Tay Tay McVee concert together.
- Chick alert. [laughter]
- Now, listen, Delilah's a big fan of this station,
so we're happy to have her here.
- Yeah, yeah, um, we're just really happy
to have you here, Delilah, right, guys?
- Of course, yeah, we're so excited to play
some Tay Tay McVee nonstop in the station
all day long.
- Oh, yeah, and then we're all gonna do mud masks
and eat acai bowls, right?
- We don't eat that.
- Yeah, we don't eat frozen yogurt.
- Yeah, watch out. Women are secretly trying to
take over your world.
- Nah, I don't think so.
- If our periods sync up, we're gonna be unstoppable.
- Okay, TMI. [chuckles]
All right, have fun, everybody.
Get to know each other.
- Hey, that syncing stuff is an urban myth.
- It actually happens all the time.
And it allows women to bond in ways men can't imagine.
- [scoffs] - Like how?
- ESP. - Yeah, right.
- No way. - You guys just wait and see.
Come one, Delilah, I want to show you around the station.
- Nice meeting you, guys.
- Welcome, though, Delilah, welcome.
- No, seriously. - Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, dudes, that syncing stuff's not true, right?
- [scoffs] - I don't know.
syncing their cycles all the time
and how it affects their synergy.
- I wonder if there's anything we could sync up.
- Like what? - Mm-mm.
[upbeat funky music]
♪ ♪
all: Piss cycles!
- Synchronize your watches, and go.
- Ahh. - Ohh, man.
- We're drinking 12 ounces of water on the top of every hour,
no going in between.
- Okay. - Got it.
- Ohh.
- Hello, Captain. - Linda.
- I came to get those reports,
but I keep thinking about the bar.
- Hmm, me too.
- I was wondering if we should, uh, do it again.
- Name the time and the place.
- How about now?
- Uh, Linda, you know,
I've done some questionable things at the station at night.
But in the middle of the day, anybody could walk in.
- Isn't that the thrill, Captain?
- [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh. Ohh.
- Where is he? - He's at the Chief's luncheon.
But he could be back at any second.
- [moans]
In the Chief's office.
Can you imagine how many important decisions
are made here?
- No.
- Who has all these pictures of themselves on their desk?
- Yeah, and the best part is, they all have the same
stupid frown smile.
Mm, Terry McConky, mm-mm-mm.
- I need a new truck. - Yeah.
- Do I make myself clear?
- That's an order.
- Brah-brah. - That's an order.
Hold up. Oh. - What?
- There goes June.
[both moaning]
Oh, my God. Right there. Oh, yeah.
[bluesy music]
♪
- Can I, uh, get you another Diet Coke while you wait?
- Uh, sure.
I--I'll take advantage of the free refills.
- Oh, they're not free. - Oh, oh, then I'll just...
- Can I get you started on something or--
- Just maybe some more bread. - More bread?
Okay. Just bread.
I looked like a fool.
- There's no way he meant to stand you up.
He'll definitely reschedule.
- Well, I'm not going through that kind of pain again.
They asked me to leave.
- Who did? - Everybody in the restaurant.
- That sucks.
- Wow, Chief was playing him all along.
That was a harsh prank by Chief, like, harsh.
- See, that's why you don't mess with those
old-school firefighters.
They play hard.
- It's true, man.
Mess with the bull, you get the bananas, buddy.
- Hey, D., do you have any tampons?
Things got started a little early for me this month.
- Whoa, it's happening.
I'm on my period. You synced up to me.
- Wow, that was fast.
- And that makes you the beta. - Huh?
- 'Cause in the wolf pack,
all the betas sync up to the alpha's cycle.
- She's dominant. - [chuckles]
- Well, I don't know about all that.
- Speaking of, you need to bulk up a little bit, little beta.
Do you want to go to the gym after this?
- [laughs] Sure.
- Can you drive, though? I'm a little low on gas.
My commute's, like, 20 miles, but the traffic makes it rough.
- Yeah, I'm happy to drive,
but you should think about moving closer.
- I would, but I just bought a house two weeks ago
by my other station.
I thought I was gonna be there a little longer.
- Ahh. - Ooh, bad timing. Sorry.
- Sucks for me. - Yeah, sure, yeah.
- I'm sorry. - Ooh, I gotta pee.
both: Me too.
- Oh-ho-ho-ho, we did it.
We synced up. - Yeah.
- Great job, guys.
- Magic time.
- Eddie, can I see you in my office?
- What's the magic word? - Now.
- Huh.
- Whew.
- Okay, what's up, Chief?
- You have something you want to tell me?
- Nah, don't think so.
- Maybe something you were doing in my office?
Maybe on my desk?
- Oh... [chuckles]
- Okay, maybe this will job your memory, huh?
Huh? - Uh...
- I found these under my desk.
- I can explain those.
- Oh, you can, can you? - Uh...
- Eddie, I told you 100 times,
don't fold your laundry in my office.
- Oh, yeah, well, it's just that your desk
is the perfect height for folding clothes.
- It's not a folding table, okay?
Now everything's out of place. My pictures are facedown.
Why are my pictures facedown?
- Well, that's because I didn't like you watching me
while I was folding my laundry.
Yeah, by the way,
why are you frowning in all these photos?
- I'm not frowning in these photos.
I'm smiling in my photos.
- No, you're frowning. You're frowning.
This is a smile. Those are frowns.
- That's a smile. - Frown.
- Smile, frown, smile frown.
- Try going like this.
- I don't use my teeth, okay?
This is what it would look like.
- Okay, yeah, that's pretty hideous.
Can you not smile like a real person?
- This is my smile. This is my desk.
I can put whatever damn pictures I want on my desk.
And go fold your laundry somewhere else.
- You got it. - So now, take that with you.
- Okay, okay. Hey.
- Hey, Chief. - What's up, Andy?
- Uh, just wanted to know how your night was last night.
- Kind of boring, watched some "Judge Janie,"
ate some Jell-O, fell asleep.
How was yours? - Pretty terrible.
- Oh, well, better luck tonight.
- I had a date last night that stood me up,
kind of ruined my night.
- Oh, shit.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I wrote it down.
I wrote it down on the calendar.
You saw me write it down, right?
- Chief-- - I--where's June?
Where's June? - Chief, if you--
- No, June is not here.
It's July. Lookit.
Someone ripped off June.
- I watched a bunch of Stallone movies.
I watched "Don't, Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot"
And I was like, "Ahh, got to get through this whole thing
just so I can talk about something and"--
- It was a mistake. It was a mistake.
I want to have dinner with you. - You do?
- Let's do it tomorrow night.
- We'll write it down somewhere where everyone can see it.
- I couldn't wait to, like, tell you, like,
"Oh, I'm your Tango," you know?
- Yeah. Oh, "Tango & Cash."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's one of my favorites.
[upbeat funky music]
- ♪ Ahh-ahh ♪
- What are you guys doing?
- You'll be happy to know that now that we've synced
our piss cycles we can now read each other's minds.
- Sure you can.
- [laughs]
- Okay, Andy, so I don't forget,
here we go.
Dinner, Andy...
- Yep.
- Tomorrow.
Won't forget that. - [laughs]
Ehh.
- After the gym tonight, you want to go to a movie?
- Oh, I can't.
I promised my mom I'd go see her.
- Oh, I didn't know your mom was in Tacoma.
- She's in a nursing home on my side of town.
When I was at Station 27,
I could pop in and see her anytime.
Now that I'm over here, it makes it a little harder.
When I get the chance, I don't like to miss it.
- I'm so sor... I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
[eerie music]
Now that I'm not there that much, it's a little harder.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God. You guys can't really do it.
- Oh, my God, jealous much?
[laughter]
- [groans]
- Heh-heh, Timberlake, Fatone, Bass.
We're 'NSYNC, guys.
[laughter]
- Do you guys realize that you're actually on my cycle?
Like, that makes me the alpha and you guys the betas.
- What?
- You guys follow me.
- I don't even know what I was doing there.
I don't gotta pee at all.
- I just had to get up and compulsively wash my hands.
- I guess you guys really didn't need to pee, huh?
[chuckles]
Well, we could all just leave
the bathroom together, though, right?
- Why? What are you talking about?
- Ahh, I gotta get my beauty sleep anyway, so...
got that big dinner with Chief tomorrow.
- Yeah, we know.
- Bye.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
both: Ohh.
- Oh. - Hi, Eddie.
- Linda, what are you doing here?
- I wanted a thrill.
- Okay.
- I love the danger of getting caught.
- Well, where do you want to do it?
- Right here.
- Linda, this is, like, extremely public.
- I know.
Mmm.
- Are you sure I can't interest you in a mattress?
- Positive.
[both moaning]
[funky music]
♪ ♪
[together] Ohh!
- The hickory axe was a good choice for putting.
- Holy shit, it works.
- I knew it. - [laughs]
I knew it.
- Hey, what's the matter, Chief?
- Delilah was on her way to visit her mother
at the nursing home,
and she got there, and the place was on fire.
- [gasps]
- So she went in to help, and she never came out.
Delilah's dead.
And, Lucy... - Yeah, Dad?
- It should have been you.
[together] It should have been you.
It should have been you.
- [gasps]
[breathing heavily]
- [gasps]
- Delilah, are you okay?
- I just had the worst dream.
You died, and everyone cheered.
Anyways, good night.
I'm gonna try and dream about my mom.
[upbeat rock music]
- Hey, what are you doing up?
Oh, can't sleep, you?
- Oh, I'm just dickin' around.
[eerie music]
- Whoa, what's going on with that hair?
- It's stress, Uncle Eddie.
I messed up bad.
I'm listening.
- I lied to my dad to get him to transfer Delilah here.
- Did she want to be transferred?
- Not at all, but I told him that she did.
- Yeah, I'm stressed out too.
I've been having sex with Linda Price.
- Yeah, no shit. - Well, here's the problem.
She doesn't care about me.
She just want to have sex in public places.
- Isn't that every dude's dream?
- No, I don't want to be somebody's boy toy, you know,
like a piece of thrill meat.
- [sighs] What are we gonna do?
- I have to break up with Linda Price.
And you have to come clean with Delilah.
- No fucking way. - No?
You want to keep not sleeping and having your hair fall out?
- All right, you're right.
I'll tell her tomorrow.
- And I'll break up with Linda Price tomorrow.
- [sighs]
- Good morning. You're up early.
- Oh, yes, sir.
I'm an early riser.
- You know, I've been meaning to ask you
how things have been going. - Oh, it's been great.
- Safe to say you're enjoying your time here
more than at Station 27?
I know you were having some problems over there.
- Problems? - Yeah, that's why you wanted
to be transferred?
- Oh, I did not want to be transferred.
The crew over there is amazing.
And it was right around the corner from my house.
- So you weren't aware of this reputation
of this station or...me?
- No, not really.
I just want to be a good firefighter.
- Okay, well, keep it up.
You're doing a great job.
- There's no question we all agree
that the municipal structure is cost-effective
and the project is on track.
- I need to talk, but I can come back later.
- We just need to get it through
your committee, councilwoman.
- Uh, first what we need to address are safety concerns.
- The safety concerns are definitely an issue.
- What are you doing? - We've been in ongoing
consultation with the city code compliance officer...
- I need to talk to you about something.
- Permitting is under way, and to date
there are no code violations,
but maybe someone else on this call can speak
to the actual safety concerns.
- Hi, folks, Fire Chief Terry McConky here.
- Hi, Chief. - I apologize for joining late.
My calendar got a little muddled.
But I have a 15-point plan to address the safety issues.
- 15 points, great. Take your time.
- Number one, fire-retardant plastics.
- Oh, yeah.
- I know.
I like fire-retardant plastics too.
[chuckles]
Number 14, digital carbon monoxide meters.
Folks... - Thanks.
- We are not in the Stone Age anymore.
[chuckles]
- Hey, what's up?
- Delilah, I wanted to talk to you
about what's been going on here.
- You don't have to apologize. It was Chief's call.
Well, it's kind of my fault.
- No, it's not. It's okay.
I'm happy to be going back to Station 27.
- What?
- Yeah, Chief decided to transfer me back.
I hope you're not mad at me.
- No, no, I would-- I would never be mad.
- Lucy, my office now.
- Did you tell her everything?
- No, I didn't tell her the sinister role that you played
in upending her life for your personal satisfaction.
- Thank, Chief. - Eh, don't thank me yet.
You still need to learn a lesson.
- I feel like I have. - I feel like you haven't.
So I'm transferring you.
- What? You--you can't transfer me.
- Yes, I can. She spent two weeks here.
So you're spending two weeks at Station 34.
At the shit shack?!
No, Dad, please, you cannot send me to that hell hole.
- Yes, I can. I pulled some strings.
So now you're gonna spend two lovely weeks
stationed next to the landfill putting out dump fires.
- Dad. - Have fun, probie.
- Mmm, mmm.
[gargling]
Mmm.
Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum, that's good water.
You guys can have some of this if you want.
Oops, - I'm not thirsty.
- You know, it's totally okay for you guys
to be on my piss cycle.
- I'm not on your piss cycle.
You know why? 'Cause I'm an alpha.
- We're alphas.
- I should probably start getting ready,
because I have dinner with Chief tonight.
- Oh, yeah, you gonna run up that tab or what?
- Yeah, all I've had all day is water.
[laughs]
What about you? What are you gonna do tonight, Cap?
- Okay, I'm gonna come clean.
I've been having sex with Linda Price.
- No shit. - We saw you.
- Here's the thing.
Tonight I'm ending it for real.
I'm taking control, because I'm Eddie Penisi.
- Son of a bitch.
- All right, time to get ready.
- Yeah, all right.
Huh.
I was just talking about you.
- I'm breaking up with you. - What?
- I need more of a thrill than you can give me.
- What--I--I can give you?
- You're too timid.
- Hold on. I'm...
- We'll always have the Chief's desk.
- Holy shit!
[upbeat rock music]
Drink some water.
[bluesy music]
[keypad clicking]
- [laughs] - Yep.
♪
[upbeat music]
- Chief, you are a badass, man.
Man. - Come on.
- What did I do? - Schooled Andy again.
- [laughs]
- He's sitting there going... - Ah, shit!
- What's going on?
both: Oh, my God.
Ahh...
Andy!
- That's a weird way to celebrate.