1 00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,656 - What the hell? - How does this even happen? 2 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,615 - Single puncture wound to the abdomen. 3 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:07,920 We need to stop this bleeding ASAP. 4 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:10,445 - Don't help me. Help the dummy. 5 00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,099 Make sure he's okay. 6 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:15,363 - I'm-I'm just gonna grab it. 7 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,365 - Never move an injured person. 8 00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:18,583 - He's right. 9 00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,585 - Ike, it's not alive. 10 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,239 - Does the blonde know mouth to mouth. 11 00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:23,675 - Watch it, dummy! 12 00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,068 - Both of you, stop talking to the dummy. 13 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,113 Sir, what happened here? 14 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,070 - It was an accident. 15 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,680 - Isn't it obvious. 16 00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:31,074 He stabbed himself and now he's trying to blame me. 17 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,162 - Why are you holding the knife then? 18 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,424 - Ike, stop talking to the dummy. 19 00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:34,599 His pulse is dropping. 20 00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:35,818 Lucy, get the heart monitor ready. 21 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,863 - Help my dummy. - Don't get agitated, sir. 22 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,083 - Give him CPR! He needs CPR! 23 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,650 - Ike, I need this guy to calm down, okay? 24 00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:43,260 Give the dummy CPR. - What? 25 00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:44,653 - Tell him it's gonna be okay. 26 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,437 - Hey, it's--it's gonna-- it's gonna be okay. 27 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:48,700 - Ike, give the dummy CPR. Andy, talk to the dummy. 28 00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,354 - I don't wanna talk to a dummy. 29 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,095 - Lucy, had me the lead so I can hook this guy up. 30 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,619 - Hey, dummy, everything is gonna be okay. 31 00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,318 Ike is my friend. He's gonna give you CPR. 32 00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,015 - We're performing CPR. It's gonna be fine. 33 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,973 - Yeah, it'll be okay. Go, go, go, go. 34 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:02,714 - Ah. [heart monitor beeping] 35 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,107 Ah. [breathing] 36 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,328 - Oh, I'm much better now. 37 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,025 - Oh, the mouth hole. The mouth hole. 38 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,288 - Shh, relax. Stay relaxed. 39 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:12,724 He's gonna do it again. Relax. 40 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,378 - I need both of you. 41 00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,685 - What in the horrifying fuck? 42 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,513 - I don't know. [monitor flat-lines] 43 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:19,731 - Oh, my God, we're losing him. 44 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,516 Lucy, prepare the paddles. - Oh, shit. 45 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,692 [defibrillator charging] 46 00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,433 - Pinch his dick. - Oh. 47 00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,652 - Yeah, give it a pinch. 48 00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:30,090 It'll wake him up. - What the hell? 49 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:33,963 [slow beeping] - Oops, sorry, you guys. 50 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,660 A malfunction. He's still alive. 51 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,446 - No shit. [laughter] 52 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,534 - You almost pinched his dick. 53 00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:40,622 - I was not gonna pinch his dick. 54 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:41,710 - No, you were close. 55 00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:42,754 - I'm just gonna take the knife. 56 00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,191 - Touch it and die! - Whoo. 57 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:47,150 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 58 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:50,936 ♪ 59 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:54,201 - ♪ Well I'm hot blooded 60 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,638 ♪ Check and see 61 00:01:56,681 --> 00:02:00,250 ♪ I got a fever of 103 62 00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,861 ♪ I'm hot blooded 63 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:05,777 [thunder crackles] 64 00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,779 - Wow, big storm. 65 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,564 - Supposed to go all day. - Yeah? 66 00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:10,782 - Hey, you guys wanna play a game? 67 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,393 - Hey, let's start a new show. 68 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,003 Bet you we could binge our way through a few episodes. 69 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,483 - Let's watch "Queer Beer." 70 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:17,354 It's about those fabulous guys that own a brewery. 71 00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:18,573 - I watched the first season. It's pretty good. 72 00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,575 - How 'bout "Fresno Fire"? 73 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,664 - Nah, sitcoms about firemen are lame. 74 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,666 There's maybe one fire per season, 75 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,189 and there's a black guy, an Asian guy, 76 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,496 a woman, one dude who you don't realize is Latin, 77 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,672 a bunch of white people, you know what I mean? 78 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:32,804 - Hmm, hey, we could jump back into "Montana Bush." 79 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,502 - No, I don't love nature shows. 80 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:35,590 - Thought that show was about something else. 81 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,982 - What? - Teenage pop star 82 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,375 who was a landscaper. - [chuckles] 83 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,334 That's impossible. - Ooh, you guys! 84 00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:44,207 How about "Mrs. Winchester?" 85 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,252 - Never heard of it. What's that? 86 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,340 - Oh, that's a British show. 87 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,906 - No! No foreign language stuff. 88 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,299 - Hold on, hold on, just listen. 89 00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:51,214 "As Britain enters World War II, 90 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,825 "one woman makes a difference, Mrs. Winchester. 91 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:56,393 "This small-town nurse is determined to tend 92 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,831 to Briarfield Township while also solving crimes!" 93 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,746 - [fake snoring] - Mrs. Lamechester. 94 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,574 - What's with you and these British shows anyway? 95 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,576 - They're critically acclaimed and strongly acted. 96 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,621 Really quite bully. 97 00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:08,927 - That show sounds like bully-shit. 98 00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:10,625 [laughter] [thunder crackles] 99 00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,627 [mellow country music] 100 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:16,413 - ♪ Well I missed the things that I used to do ♪ 101 00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:20,417 ♪ So I went and bought me a bag of chew ♪ 102 00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:24,552 ♪ Hocked in my truck without a care ♪ 103 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:28,251 ♪ And drove it through the sassafras air ♪ 104 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,211 - Ah, God, sassafras air. So colorful. 105 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,038 - ♪ Oh yeah - Oh. 106 00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:34,257 [music stops] - We need to talk. 107 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,737 - Hey, do you like country music? 108 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:36,868 - Not particularly. - I've been getting 109 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:38,261 into it lately. - Uh, listen-- 110 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,828 - Lyrics tell such great stories, 111 00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,612 about memories and days gone by, 112 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,048 especially this band Leigh Weigh. 113 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,268 Have you heard of them? - No. But Chief-- 114 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,401 - They're my new favorite band. - Awesome. 115 00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,272 You should write about it in your yearbook. 116 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,274 We have a problem. There's a firefighter blog 117 00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,276 coming from this station that's sharing 118 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,843 a lot of dirty laundry on the Internet. 119 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,584 - A blog? From my station? 120 00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,889 - Tacoma Station 24. 121 00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,282 Look for yourself. 122 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,241 Search for "Fired up in Tacoma." 123 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,025 - Really? - I'm sure you're aware 124 00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,114 we have a zero-tolerance policy on social media 125 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,289 by municipal employees. 126 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,682 - Hey. 127 00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:10,815 Station 24, "A" shift. - Mm-hmm. 128 00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,252 - I can't see my guys doing this. 129 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,558 Oh, look at this, "Our chief is an authoritarian, 130 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,081 overweight blowhard." 131 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,083 Well, there you go, it couldn't possibly be my station. 132 00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,085 [chuckles] 133 00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,349 - Yep, well, we don't need this stuff out in the open. 134 00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,828 It's already racking up a lot of views. 135 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,134 Put a stop to it. 136 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:26,527 - Okay, well, I'll tell you what. 137 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,137 I don't think it's us, but I will sniff around. 138 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,400 - Thanks. [dramatic music] 139 00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,881 - Mrs. Winchester, whatever is the bother? 140 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:36,319 - Lord Hastings, we both know the bloom on the rose 141 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,408 is oft not wet. 142 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,802 - [laughing] - What does that mean? 143 00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,804 - Things aren't always what they seem. 144 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,588 - And then she and Lord Hastings are related? 145 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,111 - Shh. 146 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,417 - No, I just don't understand the relationships, man. 147 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,245 - Just watch then. - I'm just lost. 148 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,594 Here, let me rewind it then. 149 00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:51,943 - No, you can't rewind streaming. 150 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,858 Just watch, man. No, no, no, that's too far! 151 00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,686 - Okay, I'll fast-forward. - No, no! 152 00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,166 That's the end of the episode! 153 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,820 - And that is how Tilda Fowlington 154 00:04:58,863 --> 00:04:59,908 killed the boot-binder. 155 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,257 - No! 156 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,085 - How'd you get us to watch this snoozefest 157 00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,087 in the first place? - What's a boot-binder? 158 00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,131 - Hey, can you guys pause that, please? 159 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,350 - Gladly. 160 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,917 - Okay, it has come to my attention 161 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,832 that there is a blog coming from this station. 162 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,224 [laughter] - A blog? 163 00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,617 That's so five years ago. 164 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,097 - I just want to know if any of y'all 165 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,490 are blogging about station business. 166 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,056 - [laughs] Y'all? 167 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:21,190 - Is anyone here doing a blog or building or blog 168 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,757 or writing a blog or whatever it is you do with a blog? 169 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,325 - Yeah, I blog right after I record my makeup tutorials. 170 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,761 [laughter] 171 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,763 - My unboxing videos have a huge following. 172 00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,634 - Yeah, and I'm more of a vlogger. 173 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,201 [laughter] 174 00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:35,117 - Yeah, I got a blog about a-- 175 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,293 [laughs] That's so stupid. 176 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,121 - Great, anybody else? Anybody else got one? 177 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,731 Funny, funny stuff, but listen to me. 178 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,386 If I find out that anyone from this station is blogging, 179 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,475 I will cancel the Hulu subscription. 180 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:48,130 - No, no, no, we watch so much on Hulu! 181 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:49,784 - Take it back! - Carry on. 182 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,133 Can I see you in my office, please? 183 00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,395 - Am I in trouble? - Come on, let's go. 184 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,136 - What is going on? A blog? 185 00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,704 - By the way, do not start watching 186 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,314 a new TV show without me. - Yeah, whatever. 187 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,185 You're just gonna go to sleep anyway. 188 00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:01,578 - Not if we find a show better than "Mrs. Winchester." 189 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:02,971 You got that? [laughter] 190 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,408 I'm the captain. 191 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,323 [mellow country music] 192 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:11,371 - ♪ Well the way she looked made me wanna sing ♪ 193 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:15,592 ♪ So I grabbed a beer and my old six-string ♪ 194 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,029 ♪ We sang about blue jeans and black beans ♪ 195 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,031 - Okay, what did I do? What did I do? 196 00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,817 - ♪ And being 18 and farm machines ♪ 197 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,993 - What the hell are you listening to? 198 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,386 - Leigh Weigh. 199 00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,604 - Why are you listening to Leigh Weigh? 200 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,606 - 'Cause they're an awesome band. 201 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,565 - Okay, Leigh Weigh is not a band. It's a guy. 202 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,436 That's his name. Lee. Way. 203 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,829 - Oh, that makes sense. Okay. 204 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,178 Leigh Weigh's a guy. 205 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,746 Like Jethro Tull or Lynyrd Skynyrd. 206 00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,444 - How is that I know more about Leigh Weigh than you do? 207 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,577 - I'm just getting into it. - You know, if I had a dime 208 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,448 for every one of my midlife crisis friends 209 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,233 who found country music, I'd have a lot of dimes, Terry. 210 00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,844 - Hey, this guy sings about things that speak to me. 211 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,846 All right, like, being the boss 212 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,804 and driving on the open road 213 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,197 and windburn. - Yeah. 214 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,242 - Chili cook-offs. - So cool. 215 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:59,201 - Smell of wheat fields. - You like wheat fields? 216 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,856 - Gossamer spider webs. - Yeah, cool, all right. 217 00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,858 - Check this out. 218 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,773 - ♪ Well it's tough to be 219 00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:08,602 ♪ The lone big dog 220 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:12,301 ♪ Barking by myself in the hazy fog ♪ 221 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,476 ♪ I can picture... - Okay, look. 222 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,999 I like country music too, 223 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,088 but this dude sucks. 224 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,221 - Agree to disagree. [music stops] 225 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:20,657 All right, listen, this blog thing. 226 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,572 Is this you? - You really think it could be? 227 00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,095 - It's the kinda shit you do for laughs. 228 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,575 Remember when you sent me the John Travolta picture 229 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:26,968 with the personalized signature on it? 230 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,404 - I do. I do. 231 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,493 "Dear Terry, keep staying alive. 232 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:31,755 Best, Johnny." 233 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,061 - You denied that for three years. 234 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,715 - Yeah, that was the perfect amount of time, 235 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,804 but this is not me, and you really think it's one of us? 236 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,458 - Come here, look at this. 237 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,242 [thunder rumbles] Huh? This is right on the nose. 238 00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,113 Tacoma FD. 239 00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:43,985 Station 24. "A" shift. 240 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:47,815 - "Our captain thinks he's got a good dye job. 241 00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:50,034 "He's not fooling anyone. 242 00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,602 "His hair is as white as a polar bear's muff. 243 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,213 "He also has textbook Peter Pan Syndrome. 244 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:57,128 He's so immature, no one takes him seriously." 245 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,826 This is on the goddamn Internet. 246 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,305 Who the hell do these people think they are? 247 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,524 I'm gonna go straighten somebody out. 248 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:02,482 - Okay, hold on, hold on. 249 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:04,875 Don't go out there half-cocked. 250 00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,311 - I'm going out there full-cocked. 251 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,922 [lively music] 252 00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,532 - Why does this guy have an accident? 253 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:10,490 - It's Dave Bautista. 254 00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,449 in 18th century Canada. 255 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,929 - And then what's with that piano? 256 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,496 - Just stop. He's also teaching music 257 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:17,932 to the other fur trappers on the frontier. 258 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,542 - What? - Shush! 259 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,370 - I will trade me furs for an ivory piano, 260 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,372 and we will sing and dance with the beavers. 261 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,156 - You're not gonna sing with beavers. 262 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,332 - Quiet, please! - It doesn't make sense! 263 00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:28,812 I'm not watching this any longer than you have. 264 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,988 No, no, no, Captain, don't--don't-what? 265 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,251 - I wanna know right now who's writing this goddamn blog. 266 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,992 - Whoa. - Again with the blog? 267 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,951 - Yeah, and who's the Peter Pan Syndrome expert? 268 00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:39,170 - Wait, the what? - Someone accused me 269 00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,303 of having Peter Pan Syndrome. - Like you wanna fly? 270 00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:42,913 - It means he doesn't want to grow up. 271 00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,741 - Seems like he already has. I mean, how old are you, Cap? 272 00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,395 - None of your fucking business. 273 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,658 And to whoever wrote this, I do not dye my hair. 274 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:49,877 - Your hair looks great. [chuckles] 275 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,487 - Calm down, Cap. - Yeah, calm down. 276 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,923 Hey, you should watch the new show with us. 277 00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,143 It's called "Pelts." Dave Bautista's an 18 century 278 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,927 fur trapper in the Canadian frontier, 279 00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:59,408 and he also runs a music school for the other trappers. 280 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,410 Andy loves it. - Not into it yet. 281 00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:02,672 - I don't wanna watch a new show. 282 00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,065 I wanna get to the bottom of this. 283 00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,153 - You guys should check out this blog. 284 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,676 It's pretty incriminating. 285 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,504 - I have a feeling it's Granny. I mean, he likes to write. 286 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,984 - Dude, you're the one who likes to gossip. 287 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,116 - What? I do not. - Okay, well, I set my phone 288 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,857 to alert me anytime a new blog drops. 289 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,772 All right, you've been warned. 290 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,296 - Cap, no one here is blogging. 291 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,863 [thunder rumbles] Aw, man! 292 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,430 - Great, that's-- - Aw, come on! 293 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:22,953 - Hey, nobody go anywhere. - Somebody hit the genny. 294 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,302 [overlapping chatter] - The one that always sticks. 295 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,174 - Yeah, great. 296 00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,610 - Oh, there we go. - Good. 297 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,612 - Bingo. New blog just dropped. 298 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,353 - Someone sent a blog in the dark? 299 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:32,833 That's crazy. - It says here 300 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,791 that captain just found out about the blogging, 301 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:37,446 and he's pissed. Stay tuned. 302 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:40,231 Someone in this room is blogging. 303 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,103 And we're gonna find out who. 304 00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:44,192 [thunder crashing] 305 00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:52,417 - Got a new blog post? - No, I'm sleuthing. 306 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,941 - "To Catch a Blogger," huh? 307 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,943 So you're reading a blog about how to catch a blogger. 308 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,335 - Yeah, well, who better to help with a blog hunt 309 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,554 than a blogger? 310 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,643 Says here misspelled words 311 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,167 and unique phrasing are red flags. 312 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:06,170 Our blogger happens to misspell the word "exhilarating" 313 00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,737 quite a bit. - Huh. 314 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,260 - How do you spell exhilarating? 315 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,480 - E-X-I-L-I-Rating. 316 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,047 - Wrong. Maybe you're the blogger. 317 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,744 - Maybe you're the blogger. - What are you doing? 318 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,790 - I'm taking Leigh Weigh's words to heart. 319 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,269 I'm setting up a face-to-face here. 320 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,271 I'm gonna look a man dead in the eye 321 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,578 'cause then they can never lie. 322 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,536 Like a frog on a frozen pond 323 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,975 or a wizard with a magic wand. 324 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,759 - You're gonna zap the blogger with a magic wand? 325 00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:30,847 - No, I'm gonna do what Leigh Weigh says 326 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:31,979 and I'm gonna have a face-to-face. 327 00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:33,197 - You are neck-deep in the school 328 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,416 of Leigh Weigh, aren't you? 329 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:35,417 - Well, 'cause he's cool and he's tough, 330 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,636 like all men should be. 331 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,246 - You know what this guy looks like? 332 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,248 Come here. You don't know what this guy looks like, do you? 333 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,034 This is your guy right here. 334 00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:45,819 - Huh. 335 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,081 I didn't know he spelled his name that way. 336 00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,823 Leigh Weigh. 337 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,433 - That's your takeaway when I show you this photo? 338 00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:52,913 This dude's a poser. 339 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,262 - Yeah, well, I don't judge a book by its cover. 340 00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:55,785 So what if he wants to enjoy the latest trends 341 00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,439 in hair and fashion? 342 00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,701 Doesn't make his music any less poignant. 343 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,094 - Yes, it does. - You guys. 344 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,835 I think I have a handle on finding this blogger. 345 00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:03,793 I'm gonna do some deep dive investigating. 346 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:04,968 - Well, I appreciate that, Granny, 347 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,404 but at this point everyone's a suspect. 348 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,754 [thunder crashes] 349 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,799 - Chief, a wise woman once said, 350 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,193 the bloom on the rose is oft not wet. 351 00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,455 - What does that mean? 352 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:14,804 - Things aren't always as they seem, 353 00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:16,414 and that's where we have to start. 354 00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:17,807 - Tell you what, how 'bout the three of us 355 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:19,722 start right here? Pull up a chair, partner. 356 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,029 - Partner? - It has to be Granny. 357 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:23,857 - The guy loves to write. You've seen his reports, right? 358 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,859 - Yeah, he's in Chief's office right now 359 00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,121 probably trying to throw him off the scent. 360 00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,775 - Yes, exactly. 361 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,907 - Hey, who's up for some more "Pelts"? 362 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:33,693 I am hooked. - Now's not the time, Ike. 363 00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,695 - Really? Bautista is about to play a concerto 364 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:38,001 for the Iroquois chieftain and his daughter. 365 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,655 - I think we're cool. - Pretty big moment, right? 366 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,874 - Nah. - I'm not kidding. 367 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,353 I'm gonna start it right now. - Okay. 368 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,746 - "Pelts!" Argh! 369 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,878 - Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 370 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,749 - Oh, cool, cool, cool. Okay, great. 371 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,883 Don't come crying to me later, okay? 372 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:53,451 - There's no chance it's him. - [chuckles] No way. 373 00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,106 [mysterious music] 374 00:11:56,150 --> 00:12:01,721 ♪ 375 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,853 - Need anything to drink? - Nope. 376 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,290 - You sure? Soda, coffee, water? 377 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,379 - I'm good. - [smacks lips] 378 00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:09,946 I gotta give it to you, man. 379 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,774 The writing on that stuff's really good. 380 00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,733 Where do you come up with it? - With what? 381 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,996 - The blog stuff. - Oh, it's not me. 382 00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,911 - Come on, it's got your fingerprints all over it. 383 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,695 The writing reads just like your incidence reports. 384 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,436 - I don't think it does. - Oh, no? 385 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:22,872 Spell "exhilarating." 386 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:25,570 - E-X-E-- 387 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,877 - Wrong. [thunder crashes] 388 00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:32,882 - Where does Granny keep his laptop? 389 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,754 - He's constantly on his phone. 390 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,146 That's what we need to pry away from him. 391 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:38,366 - Under the bed is just candy wrappers and puppets. 392 00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:41,586 Wait a minute. Hello. 393 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,153 Since when does Granny care about technology 394 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,112 and the Internet? - And look at the main article! 395 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,591 - "To blog or not to blog." 396 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,593 Oh, shit, we got him! 397 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:49,943 - Hey, what the hell are you all doing? 398 00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,902 - Oh, cleaning. We're cleaning up your-- 399 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:55,296 Your bed is made. - You know what? Enough! 400 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,558 Granny, we know it's you. 401 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,385 Look what we found under your bed. 402 00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:58,952 [mysterious music] 403 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,562 - That's not mine. - It was under your bed. 404 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,783 - Look at the name. 405 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:04,609 - Yeah, right, like I'm supposed to believe 406 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:07,003 that Ike gets "Blog AF." 407 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,745 - The bloom on the rose, it's oft not wet. 408 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,834 - Ugh, stop it with the "Mrs. Winchester" crap. 409 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,532 - Andy, you're up. Chief's office now. 410 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:15,925 - Up for what? 411 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,493 [dramatic music] 412 00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:19,842 - Interrogation. 413 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,584 [thunder crashes] 414 00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:25,543 [mysterious music] 415 00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,241 ♪ 416 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:30,157 - Was this always here? - Don't worry about that. 417 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,246 - Hey, man, I just wanna shake the hand of the blogger. 418 00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,943 - Hey--whoa, no. 419 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:35,815 - How many blog posts have you already done now, huh? 420 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:36,859 - I just like shaking hands. You extend your hand, 421 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,818 I'm gonna take it. - Come on, Andy! 422 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,558 Admit it, you're a tech-savvy guy. 423 00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,473 - What, because I'm Asian? - 'Cause you're a wiseass. 424 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:43,866 - Cool it, Chief. 425 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,826 Hey, did you do a blog called "Andy and D." 426 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,392 - My "Dungeons & Dragons" blog in high school. 427 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,568 - You know, it sounds like you're super familiar 428 00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,179 with blogging. - Uh. 429 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:53,354 - Spell "exhilarating." 430 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,008 - X-- - Wrong. 431 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:58,011 [thunder rumbles] 432 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,971 Granny tells me you got yourself a burner phone. 433 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,278 - No, I-I don't. - You calling him a liar? 434 00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,846 - Okay, well, my phone broke, and I got a temporary one, 435 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:07,934 but it's not a "burner phone." 436 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:09,892 - This temporary phone of yours, 437 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,763 does it have Internet capability? 438 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,853 - Yes. - So hypothetically, 439 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,071 you could be writing all this stuff, 440 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,507 and none of it would be traceable to you. 441 00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:18,596 - What are you guys gonna do, trace my IP address? 442 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,641 - What's an IP address? 443 00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,208 - Spell "exhilarating." 444 00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,732 - Uh...can I use my phone? 445 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,212 - Don't touch your phone. - No, no, no, no, no. 446 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:29,085 [thunder rumbles] 447 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,739 - [exhales] 448 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:33,089 - E-X-H-I-L-A-R-A-T-I-N-G. 449 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,700 - You're the only person who got that right. 450 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:38,225 - Yeah, um... [mutters] 451 00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:40,618 - You seem kinda fidgety, huh? 452 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,056 Nervous. - No, I'm not-- 453 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,884 Just 'cause, um-- 454 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:47,799 I--it's my time with the TV, and they--I'm-- 455 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,672 [breathing heavily] 456 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,283 I really want to get back to watching "Pelts." 457 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,068 The British have banned the playing of all music 458 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,244 on the frontier, and now Bautista is being driven 459 00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:59,942 deeper into the wilderness just to play music. 460 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,465 - Who's Bautista? - Dave Bautista. 461 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:02,684 The actor. - Wrestler. 462 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:03,903 - He was a wrestler. 463 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,513 He's a critically acclaimed actor now. 464 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,254 He's the lead actor in "Pelts." 465 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,038 He plays Jeremiah Pelt. 466 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:11,040 Here's the thing, Andy messes with stuff, 467 00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:12,563 and I think he's gonna fast-forward it, 468 00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:13,913 and then when I get there, it's, like, the next episode 469 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,044 and I've missed a bunch of stuff. 470 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,654 I watch my television seriously. 471 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,004 I take Dave Bautista seriously. 472 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:19,788 I take the show "Pelts" very seriously. 473 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,442 I know it seems like I'm-- 474 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:22,922 - Tell you what, man. 475 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,967 Confess and this will all be over. 476 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,708 You'll be out there watching "Pelts" 477 00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:29,754 with your buddies in no time. 478 00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,496 - Wait, is that true? 479 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,542 - Yeah, just say the word. "Pelts." 480 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:37,501 [thunder crashes] 481 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,030 - Sending a new blog post? - Oh! 482 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,119 - Oh, you're a little jumpy. - Oh, yeah? 483 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:47,642 Gonna write about that in your new blog? 484 00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:49,818 - That's exactly what I would expect a blogger to say 485 00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:53,343 who didn't want anyone to know he was blogging. 486 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,737 - Guys, they found the blogger. - Who? 487 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:58,261 - It was Ike. - Really? No way. 488 00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,220 - He confessed. 489 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:01,961 - Come on. - What? That is impossible. 490 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,137 - Yes, okay? I did it. 491 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,529 Whatever. Sorry. 492 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,749 - It's the writing. It doesn't sound like you. 493 00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:08,706 - What's that supposed to mean, Granny? 494 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,186 I write good. 495 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,840 - And you're not really a tech guy. 496 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,711 - I read "Blog AF" magazine, Andy. 497 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,713 Ever heard of it? 498 00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,237 - Yeah, where did you get that? 499 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,979 - Came as a bonus mag in my "Chiseled AF." 500 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,198 Okay, I haven't got around to reading it quite yet, 501 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,722 because I misplaced it. Is that a crime? 502 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:27,334 - What did Chief say? - Nothing. 503 00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:29,814 Oh, he said that I can start watching "Pelts" again 504 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,120 if I clean up the bathrooms 505 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,775 and hoses and the turnouts and stuff. 506 00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,733 - So you made a deal to confess 507 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:36,952 just so that you could watch "Pelts" again? 508 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,955 - Oh, my God! I did it, okay? 509 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,784 I'm the blogger. I admit it, I'm sorry. 510 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,655 Eh, it was me! What do you want? 511 00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:47,571 Leave me alone. 512 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,399 [thunder crashes] What was that? 513 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:50,922 - You don't know what thunder is? 514 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:53,229 - No, I didn't say-- what? 515 00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,756 - No, councilwoman, not a blog post since. 516 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,237 The blog is shut down. 517 00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,891 You can call me the sheriff. 518 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,981 I cleaned up this town, put the bad guys down. 519 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,070 That's Leigh Weigh. 520 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,855 By the way, it's a guy, not a band. 521 00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:13,336 Oh, yeah, I gotta go too. 522 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:17,210 Great. Bye now. 523 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:20,909 [mellow country music] 524 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:25,479 - ♪ And the sheriff cleaned up that town ♪ 525 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:29,178 ♪ After he shot those Pettis Brothers down ♪ 526 00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:33,226 ♪ Not one soul thought he could ♪ 527 00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:36,925 ♪ But he and his horse knew he'd make good ♪ 528 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,319 - Yeah. - ♪ Oh yeah 529 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,277 - Is there really such a thing as a sex addict? 530 00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:42,626 - Shh, Cap, Cap, come on. 531 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,932 - That seems like a stretch. 532 00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,281 Like that's really a problem? 533 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,240 - Hey, Granny, just started this new show. 534 00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:48,719 Just a couple episodes in if you wanna join in. 535 00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,504 - Oh, thanks for the invite at the beginning. 536 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,027 - You can catch up anytime. It's pretty straightforward. 537 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,811 - What is it? - It's about this guy 538 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,074 struggling with sex addictions 539 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,945 so he cries when he masturbates. 540 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,077 - It's called "Tearjerker." 541 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,122 - Oh. - It's the best show on TV. 542 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,298 - Yeah, except all these limited interruptions suck. 543 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,431 - This episode of "Tearjerker" is brought to you by 544 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,954 Sniff-X Tissues. 545 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,738 - Ooh, that one has lotion in it. 546 00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,436 - Guys, I've been going over this blog, 547 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:10,959 and something isn't adding up. 548 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:11,960 I get no sense that it was Ike. 549 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:13,614 - No, he confessed. I was there. 550 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,137 - It bothers me too. 551 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,834 I just don't think Ike could have done it. 552 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,227 It's like in "Meet the Fockers"-- 553 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:20,142 - No, no, no, no, no. Please, please, please. 554 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,623 I haven't seen it yet, so... - It came out 15 years ago. 555 00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,146 - It doesn't matter when it came out. 556 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,322 I just haven't seen it and I don't want any spoilers. 557 00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,150 - You gotta watch it. That movie's dope. 558 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,109 - What are you guys watching? - It's a show about a guy 559 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:32,111 who cries when he masturbates, called "Tearjerker." 560 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,460 - Huh. - I get where he's coming from. 561 00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:35,288 - Is it porn? - Not yet. 562 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,246 - Hey, Chief, I don't think Ike is the blogger. 563 00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,074 - No, he's the guy, since he confessed 564 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,597 there have been no more blog posts. 565 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,991 - There may be an innocent man in there cleaning toilets. 566 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,514 - Sounds like guilt. - Say what? 567 00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:46,081 - If it's not him, then it has to be you. 568 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,778 - Shh, guys, guys, guys, it's coming back on. 569 00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,084 - Yeah. - All right, hold on. 570 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,390 You know what? Give me that. 571 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,782 - Oh, come on. - Pause it, pause it, okay? 572 00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,262 - He's about to cry! 573 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:54,785 - Now come on. 574 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,439 We're gonna talk this Ike thing through as a crew. 575 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,006 - What is this? - Oh, really? 576 00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:00,051 - Yeah, it's just a little Americana background music 577 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,575 so we can figure this thing out. 578 00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:03,185 - "Fresh Cut Grass and a Piece o' Ass." 579 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,752 That's what we're listening to right now, Chief? 580 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,362 Come on, man. - This Leigh Weigh clown 581 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,364 isn't even American. He's French. 582 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,105 - She's right, Chief. - What? 583 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,933 - He's part of the French country new wave. 584 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,195 - I thought he was American. 585 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:14,675 That makes this whole thing even better. 586 00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,894 Look at him, sacre bleu! [laughter] 587 00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:18,635 - Well, you know, that's all right, we like the French. 588 00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,985 - You hate the French. - No, I-I love the French. 589 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,900 - [speaking French] 590 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,123 - It's a beautiful language. 591 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,691 [thunder rumbles] - What the-- 592 00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,041 New blog post just dropped. - Ike, get in here right now! 593 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:35,043 - No, no, no, I took away all of Ike's electronics. 594 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,132 - We watching "Pelts" now? 595 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,655 Toilets are clean. Try 'em out, boys. 596 00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:40,831 - "Paramedic is so lazy he's either always on his phone 597 00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,616 or napping." - "Cap thinks he's sexy, 598 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,184 but he actually smells funny." Funny how? 599 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,837 - "The lady probie has a higher salary 600 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,709 than the next senior officer." Is that true? 601 00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,014 - I don't know. - "The dumb guy reads 602 00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:52,234 tech magazines to make himself seem smarter." 603 00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:53,931 - "The Chief is a Leigh Weigh fan, 604 00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:56,064 "and doesn't even know he's playing Tacoma next week. 605 00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:58,240 Hope he doesn't ask me to go." 606 00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,590 Huh. Is Leigh Weigh really playing Tacoma next week? 607 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,070 - Better bone up on your French. 608 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,985 - Who's doing this? - Granny's been on his phone. 609 00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,508 - So has Andy. - I was writing a review 610 00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:06,944 for "Tearjerker" on Au Gratin Tomatoes. 611 00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:08,381 Check the site. 612 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,034 - Maybe these things are on a time release. 613 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:12,602 [phones chime] - Shit, Linda Price. 614 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:15,301 [buzzer] - Station 24, extrication. 615 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:16,780 Man stuck in appliance. 616 00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,869 458 White and Preston. 617 00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:20,567 - Okay, we're all gonna go on this call together, 618 00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,221 and I'm gonna keep my eye on everyone. 619 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:23,831 And if I see anyone type anything, 620 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,311 there will be hell to pay. 621 00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,878 Move out! [thunder rumbles] 622 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,666 - So you meant to get in there? 623 00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:35,408 - Yeah, I thought it'd be funny to jump out and scare my wife. 624 00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:37,671 - And was it funny? - Well, I scared her for sure, 625 00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:39,412 but now I'm stuck and she's pissed. 626 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:40,674 - All right, let's get him outta there, come on. 627 00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,197 - I don't know, feeling pretty lazy. 628 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,894 - Maybe if I wasn't so dumb, 629 00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:45,461 I'd figure out how to get him out of there. 630 00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,028 - Maybe we should have Lucy do it 631 00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,899 since she gets paid more than me anyway. 632 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:51,119 - I do not get paid more. - How much do you get paid? 633 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,903 - How much do you get paid? - No, tell me first. 634 00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:55,036 - Guys, a little help. - All right, enough, enough. 635 00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:56,298 - Okay, guys, get him up. - All right, let's go. 636 00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:57,821 - Man, you do smell. - You smell. 637 00:20:57,865 --> 00:20:59,693 - Your mama smells. - Ow. 638 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,085 - The sooner we get him outta here, 639 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,957 the sooner we get to watch more "Tearjerker." 640 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,829 - You guys watch "Tearjerker?" That's the best show on TV. 641 00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:07,048 - Yeah, we think it's pretty good. 642 00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:08,397 - Can you believe that guy's wife 643 00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:10,051 thought he was a peeping Tom and shot him dead? 644 00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:11,792 all: No! - What is wrong with you? 645 00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:14,098 - What? [gasps] - Do you guys watch "Pelts"? 646 00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:15,448 - No! 647 00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:18,407 [mellow rock music] 648 00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:23,107 ♪ 649 00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:24,457 - [sighs] 650 00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:28,199 - Can I at least check my texts? 651 00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,505 I have plans tonight. 652 00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:31,246 - I said no electronics. 653 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,944 We are all gonna sit here quietly until the shift's over. 654 00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:36,338 Hey, Granny, I said no electronics. 655 00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,601 - But Chief, I need electronics 656 00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:41,735 to show you who the blogger is. 657 00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:43,258 [dramatic musical sting] [thunder rumbles] 658 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,783 - What? - Come on, everybody. 659 00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:50,265 Now, first I must give credit to "Mrs. Winchester." 660 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,354 - Ugh. - In episode 104, 661 00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:54,356 "The Tories' Wig," Mrs. Winchester had to look 662 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,923 beyond appearances. - Okay. 663 00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:57,577 - So I've studied this blog, 664 00:21:57,620 --> 00:22:00,362 and I thought some things smelled pretty odd. 665 00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:02,321 - Like Cap. - [fake laughs] Okay. 666 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,323 - First I noticed words the blogger used, 667 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,455 such as "pop" instead of "soda," 668 00:22:06,499 --> 00:22:08,718 "frappe" instead of "milkshake." 669 00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:10,981 Words we don't use around here. 670 00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,593 - Huh, okay, which one of you guys grew up in the Midwest? 671 00:22:13,636 --> 00:22:15,508 - Next I noticed the blogger said Leigh Weigh 672 00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:17,553 was coming to Tacoma. 673 00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:19,120 I searched every concert venue. 674 00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:20,730 No sign of Leigh Weigh. 675 00:22:20,774 --> 00:22:23,385 That's because he's not playing in Tacoma, Washington. 676 00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:25,213 He's play in Tacoma, Ohio. 677 00:22:25,256 --> 00:22:26,736 - Wait, there's a Tacoma in Ohio. 678 00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:28,390 - And a Station 24. 679 00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:29,696 - Well, what about the smelly guy? 680 00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:31,959 - Yeah, or the dumb guy. - And the lady probie. 681 00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:34,265 - Y'all ready for this? 682 00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:35,397 - Whoa. - Wow. 683 00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,007 - Oh, shit. - Oh, look at that. 684 00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:39,401 Black guy, an Asian guy, a girl, 685 00:22:39,445 --> 00:22:42,535 and a guy that looks like he's Italian but is probably Latin. 686 00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:44,493 - Yeah, I like his hairdo. - And then a bunch of whites. 687 00:22:44,537 --> 00:22:46,713 - Huh. I did not see that coming. 688 00:22:46,756 --> 00:22:49,150 You know, I guess firefighters are the same everywhere. 689 00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:50,673 - Same circus, different clowns. 690 00:22:50,717 --> 00:22:52,153 - Same burrito, different salsa. 691 00:22:52,196 --> 00:22:54,198 - Same ball game, different sport, right, guys? 692 00:22:54,242 --> 00:22:56,418 - Yeah, yeah, well, you know, 693 00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:58,420 I think we all said some things that we shouldn't have. 694 00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:00,335 - Yeah, we said some pretty hurtful things 695 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,815 that are tough to take back. - Yeah. 696 00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:03,469 - Well, I didn't mean any of it, guys. 697 00:23:03,512 --> 00:23:05,209 - Me neither. - No. 698 00:23:05,253 --> 00:23:06,863 - [sighs] 699 00:23:06,907 --> 00:23:08,082 - You guys know I don't dye my hair though, right? 700 00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:09,431 - Yeah. - [laughs] 701 00:23:09,475 --> 00:23:10,824 - Hey, what are we gonna watch? 702 00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:12,608 - "Mrs. Winchester!" - No, no, no, no. 703 00:23:12,652 --> 00:23:14,523 - Can I pick for once? 704 00:23:19,485 --> 00:23:21,138 - Gail, without music, there'd be no radio stations. 705 00:23:21,182 --> 00:23:24,403 - No, without radios there'd be no radio stations. 706 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:26,448 [laughter] - Oh, no, they didn't. 707 00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:29,364 - Hey, guys, huh? Huh? Check this out. 708 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,453 - Hey! - Whoo! 709 00:23:31,497 --> 00:23:32,933 - Pretty good, huh? You are looking 710 00:23:32,976 --> 00:23:34,413 at the newest member of the Leigh Weigh fan club. 711 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,153 I'm officially a Weigh Watcher. 712 00:23:36,197 --> 00:23:37,851 - Hey, congrats, Chief. You know what, losing weight 713 00:23:37,894 --> 00:23:39,592 at your age is one of the toughest things you can do. 714 00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:42,377 - Ike, that's not really what I was--okay. 715 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,378 - I thought the whole French thing 716 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,640 was a deal-breaker for you. 717 00:23:44,684 --> 00:23:46,076 - Well, I'm not that closed-minded, Lucy. 718 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,426 I still like the guy's music. 719 00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:48,601 I'm into the message, not the man. 720 00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:49,428 - Can we just watch the show, please? 721 00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:50,603 - Yeah, what's this one? 722 00:23:50,646 --> 00:23:52,300 - It's about two transgender sisters 723 00:23:52,343 --> 00:23:53,562 who run a radio station. 724 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:55,521 It's called "Trans-Sister Radio." 725 00:23:55,564 --> 00:23:57,436 - Huh. Sounds pretty good. 726 00:23:57,479 --> 00:23:58,437 Mind if I watch it with you guys? 727 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,742 - Please. - Sure. 728 00:23:59,786 --> 00:24:02,484 - Come on over, partner. - All right, great. 729 00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:04,268 - You know, this show's got great buzz. 730 00:24:04,312 --> 00:24:06,488 It's really about how things don't seem as they appear. 731 00:24:06,532 --> 00:24:09,665 [overlapping shouting] 732 00:24:11,667 --> 00:24:13,016 - Press play, we're watching this now. 733 00:24:13,060 --> 00:24:14,278 - Come on. 734 00:24:14,322 --> 00:24:16,803 - ♪ All right come on baby ♪ 735 00:24:16,846 --> 00:24:20,807 ♪ Fresh cut grass and a piece o' ass ♪ 736 00:24:20,850 --> 00:24:24,506 ♪ Two blessed things that were born to last ♪ 737 00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:28,510 ♪ Get your fill now 'cause they're going fast ♪ 738 00:24:28,554 --> 00:24:32,296 ♪ You got your fresh cut grass and a piece o' ass come on ♪