1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,914
[ROCK MUSIC]
2
00:00:02,939 --> 00:00:05,781
♪♪
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,382
Driver is a young male.
4
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:10,252
Appears to be having a seizure.
Ambulance requested.
5
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:12,858
Yeah, these beats make me wanna rage!
6
00:00:12,883 --> 00:00:14,980
Grab me another vodka soda, bee-yatch!
7
00:00:15,005 --> 00:00:16,403
Don't see that every day, huh?
8
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,102
Does that make you jelly, dawg?
9
00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:21,131
- Is this a concussion thing?
- Sir, can your hear me?
10
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,844
Ooh, ooh! Bloop-bloop.
11
00:00:22,869 --> 00:00:24,125
Phew, pew-pew! [BLOWS RASPBERRIES]
12
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,943
You gotta admit he's
got some great moves.
13
00:00:25,968 --> 00:00:29,017
He looks like he's on a new
synthetic club drug called Blast.
14
00:00:29,042 --> 00:00:31,648
The user hallucinates a
complete nightclub setting.
15
00:00:31,673 --> 00:00:32,840
Lights, sound, everything.
16
00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:33,872
Yeah!
17
00:00:33,897 --> 00:00:35,718
It's your boy Mr. Toasty!
18
00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:37,277
I'm putting this on the Gram!
19
00:00:37,302 --> 00:00:38,480
I've heard of this stuff.
20
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,800
It's like 75 bucks per
dose. Kind of pricey.
21
00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:42,192
I mean, yes and no.
22
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,394
Once you factor in cover charge,
bottle service.
23
00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:45,728
Plus the cost of an Uber.
24
00:00:45,753 --> 00:00:46,997
- It adds up.
- What are we gonna do?
25
00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:48,599
Maybe we have to
wait until the song ends?
26
00:00:48,623 --> 00:00:50,509
All right, I say we go in slowly
27
00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:51,801
and pull him out gently.
28
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- Okay.
- Come on, man.
29
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,053
Come with us.
30
00:00:54,078 --> 00:00:57,123
[DANCE MUSIC]
31
00:00:57,148 --> 00:01:01,148
♪♪
32
00:01:02,198 --> 00:01:04,109
Whoo!
33
00:01:04,134 --> 00:01:09,887
♪♪
34
00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:11,261
- Oh!
- Stop.
35
00:01:11,286 --> 00:01:12,689
- Whoa!
- All right, dude!
36
00:01:12,714 --> 00:01:14,224
Hey! St... calm down!
37
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,704
Lucy, you must have
some moves to get a guy
38
00:01:15,728 --> 00:01:16,729
to leave the club with you.
39
00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:18,373
Excuse me, Ike.
40
00:01:19,116 --> 00:01:21,470
Hey, buddy, has anyone ever told you
41
00:01:21,495 --> 00:01:23,464
you look like a young Tony Stark?
42
00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:25,835
- [GRUNTS]
- BOTH: Oh!
43
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:26,860
[COUGHS]
44
00:01:27,140 --> 00:01:28,838
BOTH: Oh! Oh! Oh!
45
00:01:28,863 --> 00:01:30,930
- [HORN HONKS]
- Whoo!
46
00:01:30,955 --> 00:01:33,078
I wonder what happens on a second date.
47
00:01:33,668 --> 00:01:34,978
Are you okay?
48
00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:37,924
[FOREIGNER'S "HOT BLOODED"]
49
00:01:37,949 --> 00:01:41,949
♪♪
50
00:01:42,421 --> 00:01:45,306
♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪
51
00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:47,857
♪ Check it and see ♪
52
00:01:47,882 --> 00:01:51,795
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
53
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,167
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:57,805
[MELLOW MUSIC]
55
00:01:57,830 --> 00:02:00,337
- Oh!
- There she is!
56
00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:02,672
Lucy McConky, Judo Probie!
57
00:02:02,697 --> 00:02:04,198
Wow. That's quite a neck-shiner.
58
00:02:04,223 --> 00:02:05,289
You know what? Rub some dirt in it.
59
00:02:05,313 --> 00:02:07,344
- You'll be fine.
- Does that hurt at all, Luce?
60
00:02:07,369 --> 00:02:08,813
[DEEP VOICE] Only when
I breathe or swallow.
61
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,280
- ALL: Whoa!
- What's that all about?
62
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,217
When the zonked-out driver
whacked me in the throat,
63
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:14,489
he contused my larynx.
64
00:02:14,514 --> 00:02:16,286
The doctor said I should
be better in a week or two.
65
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,022
You're gonna sound
like that for two weeks?
66
00:02:18,046 --> 00:02:19,352
Yeah, give or take a couple of days,
67
00:02:19,376 --> 00:02:21,838
but he said it's gonna get
worse before it gets better.
68
00:02:21,863 --> 00:02:23,493
I can't wait for it to get worse.
69
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,365
It's a little disturbing.
70
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:27,749
Are you crazy, Chief?
This is entertaining as hell.
71
00:02:27,774 --> 00:02:29,300
Hey, do the movie trailer voice for him.
72
00:02:29,324 --> 00:02:30,657
Ooh!
73
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,557
In a world full of fear,
74
00:02:33,582 --> 00:02:36,305
where right is wrong and up is down,
75
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:39,732
one man has the courage
to take on the system.
76
00:02:39,757 --> 00:02:41,644
- Oh!
- Whoa!
77
00:02:41,669 --> 00:02:43,403
- Oh, no way!
- Oh!
78
00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:46,164
Do, uh, "Autobots,
transform and roll out!"
79
00:02:46,189 --> 00:02:48,652
Autobots, transform and roll out!
80
00:02:48,676 --> 00:02:51,254
Oh! Optimus Prime is here!
81
00:02:51,279 --> 00:02:53,409
Beef. It's what's for dinner.
82
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,615
Beef. It's what's for dinner.
83
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,261
- [LAUGHS]
- Yes!
84
00:02:58,286 --> 00:02:59,730
Okay, come on. Let's go, everybody.
85
00:02:59,754 --> 00:03:01,674
Back to work. Come on. Let's go.
86
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,317
Oh, there he is.
87
00:03:03,342 --> 00:03:04,987
Oh, Ka'ponko. There you are!
88
00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:08,204
- Are you all right?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
89
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,273
Hey, hey, hey. Yes, yes.
90
00:03:10,298 --> 00:03:11,405
I'm fine. Why?
91
00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:12,876
We heard there was a big scuffle
92
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,500
after that car crash this morning.
93
00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:15,969
Uh, how did you hear about that?
94
00:03:15,994 --> 00:03:17,611
Well, your sister and I
saw it on the internet.
95
00:03:17,635 --> 00:03:19,342
It's all over that
Nextdoor neighborhood app.
96
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,496
They said that the firefighters
97
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,086
were being attacked by somebody
on synthetic party drugs.
98
00:03:23,111 --> 00:03:24,954
I heard the guy lifted up a car!
99
00:03:24,979 --> 00:03:27,606
You guys have to get off
that Nextdoor app, okay?
100
00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:30,331
No, you need to leave
the firefighting business.
101
00:03:30,356 --> 00:03:31,755
It's too dangerous.
102
00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,697
One of these days,
you're gonna get yourself killed.
103
00:03:33,721 --> 00:03:34,832
Okay, well, why don't you
104
00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:36,423
stick to your day job, Kailani?
105
00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:37,942
Because I've already got a mother.
106
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,679
[LAUGHTER]
107
00:03:39,704 --> 00:03:41,905
- Oh, I made it light.
- Very funny.
108
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,241
Now, are you going to
come to the salon tonight?
109
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,642
Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight.
110
00:03:45,666 --> 00:03:47,412
- Okay, we'll see you tonight.
- Okay. Okay.
111
00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:48,845
Okay, Mom!
112
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,780
- Hey.
- Whoa.
113
00:03:50,805 --> 00:03:52,405
Please be careful out there.
114
00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:55,100
Okay. Stop worrying.
115
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:56,310
Okay.
116
00:03:56,335 --> 00:03:58,623
What's the matter with you,
fart-face, Mom?
117
00:03:58,925 --> 00:04:01,324
- I'll see you guys tonight.
- Be careful.
118
00:04:01,349 --> 00:04:02,548
♪♪
119
00:04:02,573 --> 00:04:04,716
Eddie! Come here.
120
00:04:04,741 --> 00:04:06,280
Chiefy, what's up?
121
00:04:06,305 --> 00:04:08,926
Did you order that
tetherball pole like I asked?
122
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,734
See, I can't tell if you're
serious about that or not.
123
00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:12,002
- Tetherball?
- Yeah.
124
00:04:12,026 --> 00:04:13,625
I love tetherball.
It's great for morale.
125
00:04:13,649 --> 00:04:15,806
It's great for cardio.
It's consistently rated one of
126
00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,408
the most wholesome activities
in the United States.
127
00:04:17,432 --> 00:04:19,239
- You play tetherball?
- I love tetherball.
128
00:04:19,264 --> 00:04:20,694
- I'm gonna order it...
- Okay.
129
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,612
And pay with station
money at this moment
130
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,547
if you officially authorize it.
131
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,809
Authorized.
132
00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:28,351
Now, because Lucy required
medical attention,
133
00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:30,079
I have to file traumatic
event paperwork.
134
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,794
Oh, I find all paperwork traumatic.
135
00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:33,823
[LAUGHS] I'll be here all week.
136
00:04:33,848 --> 00:04:35,869
But seriously, folks,
137
00:04:35,894 --> 00:04:37,805
we have to have a critical
incident stress debriefing.
138
00:04:37,829 --> 00:04:39,028
Who's gonna lead that?
139
00:04:39,053 --> 00:04:41,565
The designated peer counselor, me.
140
00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:44,434
I find it amazing that you are
the station peer counselor.
141
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,637
I find it amazing that
I have to remind you
142
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,519
that I am woke AF.
143
00:04:48,544 --> 00:04:49,551
I don't know what that means.
144
00:04:49,575 --> 00:04:51,776
It means I am very in
touch with my feelings,
145
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,350
and I'm gonna help everyone
else get there too.
146
00:04:54,478 --> 00:04:56,245
Okay, I guess we've come a long way
147
00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:57,737
from the suck-it-up machismo days.
148
00:04:57,762 --> 00:04:59,073
- Yeah.
- You know what?
149
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,461
Don't spend too much
time on this Lucy thing.
150
00:05:00,485 --> 00:05:01,674
It's not that big of a deal.
151
00:05:01,699 --> 00:05:03,632
I'm gonna take as much
time as needed, okay?
152
00:05:03,657 --> 00:05:05,255
It's important for us to
talk about this stuff.
153
00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:06,746
Okay. You're right. You're right.
154
00:05:06,771 --> 00:05:08,458
Don't forget about that tetherball pole!
155
00:05:08,927 --> 00:05:11,260
Yes, I'd like to make an
appointment for a pap smear
156
00:05:11,285 --> 00:05:12,662
and a mammogram.
157
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,789
It's for me. Lucy McConky.
158
00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:19,602
No. I'm Lucy McConky.
159
00:05:19,627 --> 00:05:21,536
[LAUGHTER]
160
00:05:21,561 --> 00:05:23,872
"I'm Lucifer McConky." [LAUGHTER]
161
00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:24,935
Heads up, everybody.
162
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,500
Because of this morning's accident,
163
00:05:26,525 --> 00:05:28,878
we have to have a critical
incident stress debriefing.
164
00:05:28,903 --> 00:05:31,248
So we need to talk to a peer counselor.
165
00:05:31,273 --> 00:05:32,483
It's now S.O.P.
166
00:05:32,507 --> 00:05:34,594
Aw, is it really necessary for this one,
though, Chief?
167
00:05:34,618 --> 00:05:36,962
Yeah, I'm the one who got hurt,
and I think it's hilarious.
168
00:05:36,987 --> 00:05:38,663
Then all you need to do
is talk to the counselor.
169
00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:40,090
Well, who's the peer counselor?
170
00:05:40,114 --> 00:05:42,238
Some touchy-feely dude
in a cardigan sweater.
171
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:43,701
- Guaranteed.
- [CHUCKLES]
172
00:05:43,726 --> 00:05:45,344
"I'm Dr. Benjamin Nesmith,
173
00:05:45,369 --> 00:05:48,157
and I'm here to get you in
touch with your emotions."
174
00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:51,300
My name is Dr. Leslie Tenderheart,
175
00:05:51,325 --> 00:05:53,211
and we gonna use these two here dolls
176
00:05:53,236 --> 00:05:54,990
to act out our emotions, okay?
177
00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:56,682
I'm the peer counselor.
178
00:05:56,707 --> 00:05:58,041
[LAUGHTER]
179
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,465
That would be amazing.
180
00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,703
I don't think you get
what the riff is, Cap.
181
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,904
You're supposed to come up with,
like, a wimpy name
182
00:06:03,929 --> 00:06:05,206
and a... and a voice.
183
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:07,480
- You're missing the riff.
- I am missing the riff, aren't I?
184
00:06:07,504 --> 00:06:08,679
I got the riff.
185
00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:10,987
But I'm the certified peer
counselor for this station.
186
00:06:11,012 --> 00:06:12,730
I am gonna lead the sessions.
187
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:14,933
I mean, there's no way I
can take Captain seriously
188
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,225
as a therapist.
189
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,649
How does this make you feel?
190
00:06:17,674 --> 00:06:20,802
How does this make you feel? Ayy!
191
00:06:20,827 --> 00:06:21,865
Here's your choice.
192
00:06:21,890 --> 00:06:22,891
You can wrap hoses all day
193
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,719
or you can drink
coffee and chat with me.
194
00:06:24,744 --> 00:06:27,336
I guess it's Eddie Penisi,
Peer Counselor!
195
00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:29,250
Tuesdays at 9:00 on
the Discovery Channel.
196
00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:32,341
- Ooh, yes.
- That voice is so good!
197
00:06:35,468 --> 00:06:37,147
So how do you guys feel about
198
00:06:37,171 --> 00:06:38,907
what happened this morning?
199
00:06:40,552 --> 00:06:42,819
No? Okay, I'll make it easier.
200
00:06:42,844 --> 00:06:44,317
Just one word.
201
00:06:44,342 --> 00:06:47,521
One word to describe how you
felt when Lucy got belted.
202
00:06:47,546 --> 00:06:49,553
- Hungry.
- Gassy.
203
00:06:49,578 --> 00:06:51,244
- Badass.
- Itchy.
204
00:06:51,269 --> 00:06:52,843
All right. Come on, guys.
Let's go. Come on.
205
00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:54,336
No, no. That's okay, Chief.
206
00:06:54,361 --> 00:06:56,458
I used to be like this too.
It's part of the process.
207
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,017
Let's just ease into it.
208
00:06:58,145 --> 00:07:00,369
We can talk about
whatever's on your minds.
209
00:07:00,394 --> 00:07:02,595
Jeez, I mean, I... I guess can jump in
210
00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:06,289
and say, uh, my parents never bought me
211
00:07:06,314 --> 00:07:07,524
a ten-speed bicycle.
212
00:07:07,549 --> 00:07:09,868
- Oh!
- Oh, what a life, Ike!
213
00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:12,181
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, that's sad.
214
00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:14,006
I guess I'll also go then. I mean...
215
00:07:14,031 --> 00:07:16,920
I can't eat dessert
unless I finish my dinner.
216
00:07:16,945 --> 00:07:18,388
- No!
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
217
00:07:18,412 --> 00:07:19,990
That's getting deep right there!
218
00:07:20,014 --> 00:07:21,579
All right, I got something.
219
00:07:21,604 --> 00:07:22,884
I've never seen "Breaking Bad,"
220
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,510
and I'm afraid that if I watch it now,
221
00:07:24,535 --> 00:07:26,146
it's gonna feel overhyped.
222
00:07:27,689 --> 00:07:29,929
- BOTH: Are you kidding me?
- Are you kidding me right now?
223
00:07:29,953 --> 00:07:31,802
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
224
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,537
It is literally the greatest show
225
00:07:33,561 --> 00:07:35,004
in the history of television.
226
00:07:35,029 --> 00:07:37,007
You mean as far
as modern television, right?
227
00:07:37,031 --> 00:07:38,409
Don't start with the
"Punky Brewster" stuff.
228
00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:40,944
- It still holds up, man!
- Andy, "Punky Brewster"
229
00:07:40,969 --> 00:07:42,146
is not better than "Breaking Bad."
230
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,369
Okay, agree to disagree.
231
00:07:43,394 --> 00:07:44,948
Lucy, have you seen "Punky Brewster"?
232
00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:46,296
- No.
- You've never seen
233
00:07:46,321 --> 00:07:48,539
- "Punky Brewster"?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
234
00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:50,964
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
235
00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:52,922
♪♪
236
00:07:52,947 --> 00:07:54,709
Mmm! Wow, Mom!
237
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:56,311
This buffalo poi is amazing.
238
00:07:56,336 --> 00:07:57,914
You've gotta start selling this stuff.
239
00:07:57,939 --> 00:07:59,389
No way, Jose!
240
00:07:59,414 --> 00:08:00,723
- [RIP]
- Oh!
241
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,832
That's a secret family recipe.
242
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,933
So you're gonna find a safer job?
243
00:08:04,958 --> 00:08:06,921
[SCOFFS] What are you talking about,
Kailani?
244
00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:08,772
I'm not gonna stop being a firefighter.
245
00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:10,574
Well, if you think we were
gonna wax your butt
246
00:08:10,598 --> 00:08:12,722
for your open-casket funeral,
then you're mistaken!
247
00:08:12,747 --> 00:08:13,747
Whoa, whoa!
248
00:08:13,772 --> 00:08:15,605
What's going on with you, Kailani?
249
00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:17,809
And why would you think that
people would see my naked butt
250
00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:20,517
in an open-casket funeral? [CHUCKLES]
251
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,957
There's something that
you need to know, Ka'ponko.
252
00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:24,165
Uh, this morning when we thought
253
00:08:24,189 --> 00:08:25,522
something happened to you,
254
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:28,256
we realized that it would be a tragedy
255
00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:30,475
if... if you died without
knowing the truth.
256
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,244
Wait. What truth?
257
00:08:32,487 --> 00:08:33,797
Uh...
258
00:08:33,822 --> 00:08:35,939
I am not your mother.
259
00:08:36,238 --> 00:08:38,104
Kailani is.
260
00:08:38,872 --> 00:08:40,626
[SCOFFS] Okay, what is this?
261
00:08:40,651 --> 00:08:42,445
"Star Wars"? "I am not your mother."
262
00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:44,474
I had you when I was just 16 years old.
263
00:08:44,499 --> 00:08:47,500
So we decided it would
be best if we raised you
264
00:08:47,525 --> 00:08:49,525
thinking she was your mother
and I was your sister.
265
00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:54,083
Are you serious?
266
00:08:54,307 --> 00:08:56,219
And the man that you know as Cousin Bill
267
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,891
is actually your father.
268
00:08:57,916 --> 00:08:59,614
That's why he gives
you a five dollar bill
269
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:00,691
in your birthday card every year.
270
00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:03,119
Why did you wait to tell
me after the accident?
271
00:09:03,144 --> 00:09:04,929
Well, it was a family secret!
272
00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:06,896
No, no. Buffalo poi is a family secret.
273
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,298
This is something bigger than that.
274
00:09:08,322 --> 00:09:09,967
You just have to get over it, all right?
275
00:09:09,991 --> 00:09:11,620
The sooner we stop talking about this,
276
00:09:11,645 --> 00:09:12,978
the sooner we can move on.
277
00:09:13,003 --> 00:09:14,781
We just started talking about this!
278
00:09:14,806 --> 00:09:16,583
That's just the way it is.
279
00:09:16,608 --> 00:09:18,373
Do not touch me!
280
00:09:18,867 --> 00:09:21,383
Ow, ow, ow!
281
00:09:21,408 --> 00:09:23,208
[RIP]
282
00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:25,582
My asshole...
283
00:09:32,998 --> 00:09:35,224
[ROCK MUSIC]
284
00:09:35,249 --> 00:09:36,249
All right, everybody,
285
00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:38,201
let's take this session very seriously
286
00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:40,937
and not say things we
think Eddie wants to hear
287
00:09:40,962 --> 00:09:43,430
because we want to get it over with.
288
00:09:43,658 --> 00:09:45,125
Huh?
289
00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:46,963
Counselor Penisi, take it away.
290
00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:49,189
Great intro, Chief. Thank you very much.
291
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,792
Lucy's accident reminded me
292
00:09:50,817 --> 00:09:52,661
that firefighters are vulnerable.
293
00:09:52,686 --> 00:09:54,553
Anybody else feel that way?
294
00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:56,314
Look, I know we're all a bunch
295
00:09:56,338 --> 00:09:58,032
of tough sons-of-bitches here.
296
00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:00,450
We help people, so we don't need help.
297
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,212
We shouldn't have insecurities.
298
00:10:02,237 --> 00:10:04,454
So let me tell you about my insecurity.
299
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,930
All right, you may not know this,
300
00:10:05,955 --> 00:10:07,812
but I have always been neurotic
301
00:10:07,837 --> 00:10:09,775
about being on the shorter side
302
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,060
by firefighter standards.
303
00:10:11,085 --> 00:10:12,463
- Hey.
- Oh, come on.
304
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,846
- You should play basketball.
- Yeah, right.
305
00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:16,666
Okay, but when I was starting out,
306
00:10:16,691 --> 00:10:18,201
I wanted to be respected.
307
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,857
Especially 'cause my dad was
a hot shot within the department.
308
00:10:20,882 --> 00:10:23,229
I was afraid that a
lot of the older guys
309
00:10:23,254 --> 00:10:25,588
were gonna make fun
of me for being short.
310
00:10:26,815 --> 00:10:29,986
And truthfully, some of 'em did.
311
00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:32,767
So I...
312
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,887
Made love to a lot of their
wives and girlfriends.
313
00:10:37,912 --> 00:10:39,179
And that helped.
314
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:41,372
That helped a lot, actually.
315
00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:43,475
Now I feel bad about it
316
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,496
because I threw some A game around town.
317
00:10:46,686 --> 00:10:49,356
I gotta tell you,
I've never spoken about that, but...
318
00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:51,064
[SIGHS]
319
00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:53,947
It feels really good
to get off my chest.
320
00:10:53,972 --> 00:10:56,213
I had a weird dream last night.
321
00:10:56,411 --> 00:10:58,611
Still pretty shaken up about it.
322
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,966
I was on a train.
323
00:11:01,069 --> 00:11:02,869
It was going really fast,
324
00:11:02,894 --> 00:11:05,448
and we were approaching a tunnel.
325
00:11:05,473 --> 00:11:07,513
And just as we were about to enter it,
326
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,679
the train went into reverse,
327
00:11:10,344 --> 00:11:12,286
and it backed out of the tunnel.
328
00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:17,107
And then it lurched itself
back into the tunnel.
329
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:18,824
And it was totally out of control.
330
00:11:18,849 --> 00:11:21,525
It was moving forward and backward.
331
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,332
Forward and backward.
332
00:11:23,357 --> 00:11:25,121
- That's a sex dream.
- No, it wasn't.
333
00:11:25,159 --> 00:11:26,562
It was terrifying.
334
00:11:26,587 --> 00:11:29,095
And then to make matters worse,
335
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,846
somebody spilt their milk all over me.
336
00:11:30,871 --> 00:11:32,982
Okay, thank you. Thank you, Granny.
337
00:11:33,007 --> 00:11:34,250
Trains can be scary.
338
00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,287
- Um...
- Yeah.
339
00:11:37,369 --> 00:11:39,082
As an exotic dancer,
340
00:11:39,107 --> 00:11:41,908
sometimes I feel subjectified.
341
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:43,043
Objectified.
342
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,224
No, no. Subjectified.
343
00:11:44,249 --> 00:11:47,356
Like I'm just subject to
all this constant attention
344
00:11:47,381 --> 00:11:48,554
by beautiful women.
345
00:11:48,579 --> 00:11:50,891
They wanna give me money and, you know,
346
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:53,567
like, a fur coat or an Xbox.
347
00:11:53,592 --> 00:11:54,872
Why don't you just quit?
348
00:11:54,897 --> 00:11:56,673
'Cause I love the money.
349
00:11:57,659 --> 00:11:59,769
I guess, and the attention.
350
00:11:59,794 --> 00:12:01,370
Like for instance, okay,
351
00:12:01,395 --> 00:12:03,307
the other day, this lady paid me
352
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,149
to paint her daughter's bedroom
353
00:12:05,174 --> 00:12:06,666
wearing nothing but a G-string.
354
00:12:06,691 --> 00:12:09,060
So I did it, and I'm like, "Okay, wait.
355
00:12:09,085 --> 00:12:12,916
Am I a dancer, or am I a painter?"
356
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,232
You know?
357
00:12:14,257 --> 00:12:16,235
Like, I was having an indemnity crisis.
358
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:18,107
- Identity crisis.
- No, indemnity.
359
00:12:18,132 --> 00:12:19,590
Like if I felt like if I did a poor job
360
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,652
painting her bedroom,
I'd be held financially responsible.
361
00:12:21,676 --> 00:12:23,250
Okay. Good share, Ike.
362
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:24,928
Speaking of daughters,
363
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:28,154
Terry, let's talk about
the Lucy incident.
364
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,600
My sister is my mother!
365
00:12:30,641 --> 00:12:31,905
Say again?
366
00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,653
After the Lucy incident,
367
00:12:33,678 --> 00:12:37,540
my mother and sister were
so worried about me dying
368
00:12:37,565 --> 00:12:39,832
that they confessed
that my sister had me
369
00:12:39,857 --> 00:12:41,352
when she was 16,
370
00:12:41,377 --> 00:12:44,370
and they've been pretending
that I'm her little brother.
371
00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:47,173
- Whoa.
- No, woe is me.
372
00:12:47,198 --> 00:12:49,532
Because my whole childhood is twisted.
373
00:12:49,599 --> 00:12:51,910
Also I just realized that
I went to senior prom
374
00:12:51,935 --> 00:12:53,642
with my mom.
375
00:12:53,914 --> 00:12:56,225
And I've been getting my
butt waxed this whole time
376
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:57,650
by my grandmother!
377
00:12:57,675 --> 00:12:59,829
Can we just circle back to the...
the prom thing?
378
00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:02,767
Did you say you went to
senior prom with your sister?
379
00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:04,056
The worst part about it
380
00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:06,836
is that I can't even talk about it.
381
00:13:06,861 --> 00:13:08,928
They just want me to forget it
382
00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:10,931
and don't make it a big deal.
383
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,068
Hang on, they won't even
let you talk about it?
384
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,644
No, Cap!
385
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:17,390
They just say, "Push it down, Ka'ponko!
386
00:13:17,415 --> 00:13:19,050
Push it down!"
387
00:13:19,075 --> 00:13:22,244
Andy, you need to have
it out with them tonight.
388
00:13:22,475 --> 00:13:23,707
- [RIPS]
- Ah!
389
00:13:23,732 --> 00:13:26,044
I don't understand why you
won't help me process this.
390
00:13:26,069 --> 00:13:27,791
Don't you see how hard this is for me?
391
00:13:27,816 --> 00:13:29,527
This must be your first Brazilian.
392
00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:31,897
Yeah, this patch is way stubborn.
393
00:13:31,922 --> 00:13:33,526
- Ah!
- Come on!
394
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,329
When I was 12 years old looking through
395
00:13:35,354 --> 00:13:37,667
the peephole into my sister's room,
I was actually
396
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,644
watching my mother hook
up with her boyfriend.
397
00:13:39,669 --> 00:13:41,560
You know what, this is hard for me,
too, all right?
398
00:13:41,584 --> 00:13:44,355
Yesterday I was a mother,
today I'm a grandmother.
399
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:46,214
I'm too young to be a grandmother!
400
00:13:46,239 --> 00:13:47,342
- [RIPS]
- Okay.
401
00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:48,934
Feet, back, nipples done.
402
00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:50,149
Come on!
403
00:13:50,174 --> 00:13:51,411
Sorry for the distractions.
404
00:13:51,436 --> 00:13:53,279
My son was just leaving!
405
00:13:53,304 --> 00:13:54,478
I'm not going anywhere.
406
00:13:54,503 --> 00:13:56,285
Oh! Whew!
407
00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:58,743
Hiya, Myawani. Whew!
408
00:13:58,768 --> 00:14:00,533
You mom-sister and grandma-mom
409
00:14:00,558 --> 00:14:01,756
give good wax.
410
00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:03,292
And great family drama.
411
00:14:03,317 --> 00:14:04,517
Better than the soap operas
412
00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:06,362
I watch at home with my mother.
413
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,187
See you girls next month.
414
00:14:08,684 --> 00:14:10,414
I have no mother.
415
00:14:10,741 --> 00:14:12,369
I have no grandma either.
416
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,438
Wha... [SCOFFS]
417
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,997
- Do a cow.
- Moo!
418
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,527
[LAUGHTER]
419
00:14:18,552 --> 00:14:21,174
- Do a frog.
- Ribbit! Ribbit!
420
00:14:21,199 --> 00:14:22,899
Oh, a gorilla, a gorilla! Do a gorilla!
421
00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:24,914
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
422
00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:26,650
[LAUGHTER]
423
00:14:26,674 --> 00:14:31,013
[COUGHING]
424
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:32,993
Hey, Chief, we still going
425
00:14:33,018 --> 00:14:34,795
furniture shopping
together this weekend?
426
00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:38,128
Uh, my weekend's starting
to fill up a little bit.
427
00:14:38,152 --> 00:14:40,986
I got some things with your
sisters I've gotta do...
428
00:14:41,011 --> 00:14:42,161
What? We made plans.
429
00:14:42,186 --> 00:14:44,273
And I thought we could
go do karaoke afterwards.
430
00:14:44,298 --> 00:14:45,768
Is your voice getting lower?
431
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:48,357
Yeah, I told you it was gonna
get worse before it got better.
432
00:14:48,382 --> 00:14:50,765
[GRUNTING, COUGHING]
433
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,475
You hear that? I just...
434
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,673
I think I just heard
435
00:14:53,698 --> 00:14:55,409
some pizza rolls in the microwave.
436
00:14:55,434 --> 00:14:56,938
The one in my office.
437
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,582
Uh, I'm just gonna...
438
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,533
I'm gonna grab them.
439
00:15:00,589 --> 00:15:02,389
I'll be right back.
440
00:15:02,595 --> 00:15:04,353
We have pizza rolls?
441
00:15:04,378 --> 00:15:05,890
Hey, Chief, bring some back!
442
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,205
Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry.
443
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:09,508
Hang on.
444
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:12,562
I'd love it if you'd share today.
445
00:15:12,587 --> 00:15:14,219
Why? I wasn't even at the accident.
446
00:15:14,244 --> 00:15:15,765
The accident involved your daughter.
447
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,103
- I'm fine, Eddie.
- I know. I know.
448
00:15:18,128 --> 00:15:20,370
Sometimes there's things hiding inside
449
00:15:20,395 --> 00:15:21,527
that we don't know about
450
00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:23,014
that come out when we talk about them.
451
00:15:23,038 --> 00:15:24,175
You want me to share right now?
452
00:15:24,199 --> 00:15:25,442
Is that what you want? Huh?
453
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,578
Okay. [MOCKS CRYING]
454
00:15:27,602 --> 00:15:29,790
I can't believe you haven't
ordered the tetherball pole!
455
00:15:29,814 --> 00:15:32,014
[MOCKS CRYING] Is that what you want?
456
00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:34,674
- For me to cry?
- Terry, please.
457
00:15:34,699 --> 00:15:36,837
- I've seen you cry a million times.
- Bullshit!
458
00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:38,455
You cried when Ichiro retired.
459
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,953
- Prove it.
- I have it on video.
460
00:15:39,978 --> 00:15:42,010
You're lucky I'm even
sitting in on those sessions.
461
00:15:42,035 --> 00:15:44,594
Why don't you go use your
Oprah routine with Andy?
462
00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:46,515
Focus on people with real problems,
463
00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:47,820
'cause I don't have any.
464
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:50,729
Okay.
465
00:15:53,061 --> 00:15:54,156
Okay, gang,
466
00:15:54,181 --> 00:15:55,739
we're gonna try something
a little different today.
467
00:15:55,763 --> 00:15:57,141
We're gonna do some roleplaying.
468
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,669
- Ooh.
- Kinky.
469
00:15:58,694 --> 00:16:00,837
And I brought some special guests.
470
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,154
Ladies, come on in.
471
00:16:03,983 --> 00:16:05,885
Whoa. Super kinky.
472
00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:07,417
Hey, what is this?
473
00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:09,187
Don't worry.
You don't have to do anything.
474
00:16:09,212 --> 00:16:10,754
I just want you to watch, okay?
475
00:16:10,779 --> 00:16:12,422
Come on. Guys, come on up here.
476
00:16:12,447 --> 00:16:13,747
Ladies, go have a seat.
477
00:16:15,117 --> 00:16:16,552
- Okay, Ikie.
- Yeah.
478
00:16:16,577 --> 00:16:19,028
- You are gonna play Kailani.
- Oh, cool!
479
00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:20,098
[MIMICS GUNS SHOOTING]
480
00:16:20,122 --> 00:16:22,765
Granny, you're gonna play grandma.
481
00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:23,988
It is such an honor.
482
00:16:24,013 --> 00:16:26,245
Andy, you're gonna be you, okay?
483
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,605
Now you can say what you want to say.
484
00:16:27,629 --> 00:16:30,670
Uh, should we do the accents,
or is that problematic?
485
00:16:30,695 --> 00:16:32,094
Your choice.
486
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,577
We weren't sure.
487
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,200
I don't think this is gonna end well.
488
00:16:35,225 --> 00:16:37,329
You've hurt me on so many levels.
489
00:16:37,354 --> 00:16:39,783
One, that you've kept it from me.
490
00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:42,475
And two,
that we can't even talk about it.
491
00:16:43,277 --> 00:16:44,925
[JAMAICAN ACCENT]
Don't worry about it, brah!
492
00:16:44,949 --> 00:16:47,347
What's your favorite wax technique?
493
00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,402
[JAMAICAN ACCENT]
Up and down, side to side.
494
00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,438
- It don't matter.
- Wrong.
495
00:16:51,463 --> 00:16:54,044
You apply the wax in the
direction the hair grows,
496
00:16:54,069 --> 00:16:55,465
then you pull bottom to top.
497
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:56,784
- Get it right!
- Okay.
498
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:58,081
Keep going. Keep going.
499
00:16:58,106 --> 00:17:00,870
I feel like I've missed out
on having a real relationship
500
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,005
with you, Mom.
501
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,807
Stuff it down, man!
502
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,072
Push it down, Ka'ponko!
503
00:17:06,097 --> 00:17:07,833
Me never chat with you about this!
504
00:17:07,858 --> 00:17:09,880
That's a terrible Hawaiian accent.
505
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,709
You sound Jamaican, you racist.
506
00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:13,773
Wait, whoa! I'm not racist!
507
00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:15,885
- Says you!
- I am not racist.
508
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,621
Guys, stand closer. Where you going?
509
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,089
Keep going. Keep going.
510
00:17:19,113 --> 00:17:20,133
I'm not racist.
511
00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:21,825
Why can't we talk about this?
512
00:17:21,850 --> 00:17:23,173
We're family.
513
00:17:23,198 --> 00:17:26,301
No time to talk.
Have to wax a sensitive area.
514
00:17:26,326 --> 00:17:28,640
[IRISH ACCENT] That's right.
And I've got to wax
515
00:17:28,665 --> 00:17:31,102
a little soul patch into me customer.
516
00:17:31,127 --> 00:17:32,396
Enough, okay?
517
00:17:32,421 --> 00:17:33,988
I did not close down shop
518
00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:35,304
during lunch rush
519
00:17:35,329 --> 00:17:37,129
to watch amateur improv.
520
00:17:37,154 --> 00:17:38,787
Let's go, Kailani.
521
00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:42,203
Wait. M...
522
00:17:43,755 --> 00:17:45,066
You okay, buddy?
523
00:17:45,091 --> 00:17:48,537
Actually, I feel fantastic.
524
00:17:48,562 --> 00:17:51,263
Like it or not,
they heard what I had to say.
525
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,101
- Awesome.
- Okay.
526
00:17:54,126 --> 00:17:55,525
Chief and Lucy, your turn.
527
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,728
- Sweet!
- Uh, no thanks.
528
00:17:57,752 --> 00:17:59,156
It really hurts me that you can't stand
529
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:00,793
- the sound of my voice.
- What are you talking about?
530
00:18:00,817 --> 00:18:02,933
I love your voice; you sound like
the guy who used to host
531
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,535
Soul Train...
Granny, what was that guy's name?
532
00:18:04,559 --> 00:18:06,804
Why would I know the name of
the guy who hosted Soul Train?
533
00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:08,539
Oh! [CHUCKLES] Right.
534
00:18:08,563 --> 00:18:10,738
Oh, it's 'cause I dream about trains?
535
00:18:10,763 --> 00:18:12,971
That's it. You're the train guy.
536
00:18:12,996 --> 00:18:14,193
Let's switch it up.
537
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,498
Lucy, you be Chief. Chief, you be Lucy.
538
00:18:16,523 --> 00:18:18,215
Lucy, start it off.
539
00:18:18,804 --> 00:18:20,962
Okay, um...
540
00:18:21,658 --> 00:18:24,229
Don't interrupt! I know everything!
541
00:18:24,254 --> 00:18:25,822
I'm the chief, and I'm your dad!
542
00:18:25,847 --> 00:18:26,994
And the answer is no!
543
00:18:27,019 --> 00:18:28,597
No, no, no, no, no!
544
00:18:28,622 --> 00:18:30,180
Oh, that's your imitation of me?
545
00:18:30,205 --> 00:18:31,448
- That's it, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
546
00:18:31,473 --> 00:18:32,777
I can play this game too.
547
00:18:32,802 --> 00:18:34,438
I can do this. All right.
548
00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:36,106
Hey, my name's Lucy,
549
00:18:36,131 --> 00:18:37,597
and I'm the reckless probie
550
00:18:37,622 --> 00:18:40,036
who doesn't care how our
actions affect other people!
551
00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:43,329
Maybe I should find a
safer job like accounting!
552
00:18:44,909 --> 00:18:47,453
- That was awesome.
- Yeah, good impression, Chief.
553
00:18:47,478 --> 00:18:48,979
- [BUZZER BLARES]
- DISPATCHER: Station 24.
554
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,808
Man on a ledge. 1113 Harrison Avenue.
555
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:53,583
All right, this is bullshit.
556
00:18:53,608 --> 00:18:54,919
Do you even know what you're doing?
557
00:18:54,943 --> 00:18:57,077
- Yes, I do.
- Then what does Andy's mom
558
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,855
and sister have to do
with Lucy's accident?
559
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,936
Lucy's accident is what made Andy's
560
00:19:00,961 --> 00:19:02,926
mom and grandma tell him the truth.
561
00:19:02,951 --> 00:19:04,619
All right, you know what?
We're done with this.
562
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,960
No, we're done when I say we're done.
563
00:19:05,984 --> 00:19:07,162
No, we're done now!
564
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:09,017
No, we're done when I say we're done.
565
00:19:09,423 --> 00:19:11,135
- Where are you going?
- I'm going on a call.
566
00:19:11,159 --> 00:19:12,331
- Well, so am I!
- Oh, you're coming?
567
00:19:12,355 --> 00:19:14,728
- Yeah, I'm coming!
- About time!
568
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:19,495
Just leave me alone, please!
569
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,412
Can you please let a man die in peace?
570
00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:24,915
Leave me alone! I'm gonna jump!
571
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,883
I'm gonna do it! I swear!
572
00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:30,421
Go away! Leave me alone, okay?
573
00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:32,689
Car one on the scene.
Car one in command.
574
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,226
Go away! Leave me alone, okay?
575
00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:37,847
Get out of here! Please!
576
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,380
Go away!
577
00:19:40,293 --> 00:19:43,294
Hey, folks, I need you to step back!
578
00:19:43,524 --> 00:19:46,347
- [SIGHS]
- Leave me alone!
579
00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,999
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
- Who's going up there?
580
00:19:49,024 --> 00:19:50,908
I am, obviously. I'm the most qualified.
581
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:51,974
Hold on a second.
582
00:19:51,999 --> 00:19:53,388
I've talked to a few jumpers in my day.
583
00:19:53,412 --> 00:19:55,511
- Okay, so you go.
- You want me to?
584
00:19:55,536 --> 00:19:57,203
Yeah, if you're so good at it, you go.
585
00:19:57,228 --> 00:19:58,605
Fine. I will go.
586
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:00,650
Okay, stop chattering
and start laddering.
587
00:20:00,675 --> 00:20:02,104
- I'm in charge here!
- Good.
588
00:20:02,129 --> 00:20:03,716
- Stop looking at me!
- Be safe, Chief.
589
00:20:03,741 --> 00:20:05,521
Stop telling me what to do.
590
00:20:05,546 --> 00:20:08,259
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
591
00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:10,080
Get off of that thing, man!
592
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,030
Stay away, man!
593
00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:15,935
I'm not kidding! Back off, man!
594
00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:19,305
Stay away, man! I'm gonna jump!
595
00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,823
- I just wanna talk.
- Okay, well, I don't!
596
00:20:22,098 --> 00:20:23,940
- I wanna be alone.
- I get it.
597
00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:25,542
I'm the strong, silent type too.
598
00:20:25,566 --> 00:20:27,278
Oh, yeah? Like Ryan Gosling?
599
00:20:27,302 --> 00:20:28,924
- I don't know who that is.
- What?
600
00:20:28,949 --> 00:20:30,547
It's America's handsome boy, man!
601
00:20:30,571 --> 00:20:32,683
- Come on. "La La Land"?
- Never heard of it.
602
00:20:32,707 --> 00:20:34,200
You never heard of "La La Land"?
603
00:20:34,225 --> 00:20:36,137
- What about "The Notebook"?
- You're losing me now.
604
00:20:36,161 --> 00:20:37,942
It's a masterpiece, sir!
605
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:39,809
- I'm more of a Stallone guy.
- Who?
606
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,558
How do you not know who Stallone is?
607
00:20:41,582 --> 00:20:43,558
How do you not know who Ryan Gosling is?
608
00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:44,895
I feel like we're not connecting here.
609
00:20:44,919 --> 00:20:47,056
No, we're not, okay?
Just go away, please!
610
00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:48,564
You're pissing me off, man!
611
00:20:48,589 --> 00:20:49,834
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
612
00:20:49,976 --> 00:20:51,019
You married?
613
00:20:51,044 --> 00:20:53,369
My wife ran off with my business partner
614
00:20:53,394 --> 00:20:54,794
after embezzling a million dollars
615
00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:56,840
from my frozen yogurt franchise.
616
00:20:56,865 --> 00:20:58,219
Hence the roof!
617
00:20:58,244 --> 00:20:59,609
Okay.
618
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:02,178
I like frozen yogurt more
than I thought I would.
619
00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,470
Cool!
620
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,450
[SIGHS] You got kids?
621
00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:07,740
- I got three boys.
- Hey, I got three girls.
622
00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:09,245
You know, they say boys are made
623
00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:11,899
when the wife has an orgasm
during conception, so...
624
00:21:11,924 --> 00:21:13,390
People have told me that. It's not true.
625
00:21:13,414 --> 00:21:14,658
- It's true.
- It's not true.
626
00:21:14,683 --> 00:21:15,861
- Google it!
- There's no evidence.
627
00:21:15,885 --> 00:21:17,527
You could Bing it too. Same results.
628
00:21:17,552 --> 00:21:18,796
There's no proof of that fact.
629
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,274
I proved it three times.
630
00:21:20,299 --> 00:21:22,148
All right, regardless,
okay, we both got kids.
631
00:21:22,173 --> 00:21:24,285
Matter of fact,
that's my oldest right down there.
632
00:21:24,310 --> 00:21:25,802
The firefighter on the end.
633
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,425
You ever worried she'll
get hurt on the job?
634
00:21:27,449 --> 00:21:28,671
Every day.
635
00:21:28,696 --> 00:21:30,855
Matter of fact,
she just got hit in the throat.
636
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,326
Now she sounds like an
old timey jazz singer.
637
00:21:33,351 --> 00:21:35,842
Hey, I need you guys
back behind the car!
638
00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,627
Wow. Like Morgan Freeman.
639
00:21:37,652 --> 00:21:39,616
Just every time I hear it,
it reminds me that
640
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:40,751
if she hadn't followed in my footsteps,
641
00:21:40,775 --> 00:21:42,007
she wouldn't be in harm's way.
642
00:21:42,032 --> 00:21:43,944
Hey, we can't protect
our kids forever, man.
643
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,557
I just don't wanna
feel afraid and guilty
644
00:21:46,581 --> 00:21:48,632
for as long as she's a firefighter.
645
00:21:48,657 --> 00:21:50,352
We all feel that way about our kids.
646
00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:51,710
It's normal.
647
00:21:51,735 --> 00:21:54,430
You should talk to somebody
about it before you end up,
648
00:21:54,455 --> 00:21:56,798
you know,
taking a dive off of a Bordstrom.
649
00:21:56,823 --> 00:21:59,666
- You sound like Eddie.
- Eddie sounds woke AF.
650
00:21:59,691 --> 00:22:00,874
I'm not gonna tell him that.
651
00:22:00,899 --> 00:22:02,412
Gosh, your depression
is making me feel better
652
00:22:02,436 --> 00:22:04,561
about my problems. [CHUCKLES]
653
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,889
Who would've thought that? [LAUGHS]
654
00:22:06,914 --> 00:22:08,312
I was just about to jump off a building.
655
00:22:08,336 --> 00:22:10,290
Now I'm laughing. [LAUGHING]
656
00:22:10,678 --> 00:22:12,516
Thank you, man. Hey, can I get a hug?
657
00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:14,785
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- Come on, man. Please?
658
00:22:14,809 --> 00:22:16,482
- Let me just get you down safely.
- I feel like we connected there.
659
00:22:16,506 --> 00:22:18,553
- Come on! Bring it in!
- Just hold on. Let's not...
660
00:22:18,578 --> 00:22:20,338
- Get in here. I need it, man.
- No, don't...
661
00:22:20,889 --> 00:22:24,260
- Hey, hey!
- [YELLS]
662
00:22:24,285 --> 00:22:26,966
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTS]
663
00:22:28,089 --> 00:22:29,322
ALL: Oh!
664
00:22:29,824 --> 00:22:32,813
Whoo! Whee!
665
00:22:33,111 --> 00:22:34,672
That was amazing!
666
00:22:34,697 --> 00:22:37,604
Hey, your team really knows
how to talk a guy down.
667
00:22:37,629 --> 00:22:40,313
Free yogurt for everybody!
668
00:22:40,338 --> 00:22:42,569
[SIGHS] Oh, oh!
669
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,620
I'm sorry.
670
00:22:43,645 --> 00:22:45,494
I love you. I was wrong.
671
00:22:45,519 --> 00:22:48,684
- And I love your voice.
- Thanks, Dad.
672
00:22:48,709 --> 00:22:51,331
Chief, you forgot to secure
your safety belt.
673
00:22:51,356 --> 00:22:53,138
Yeah, well, too bad.
We're having a moment here.
674
00:22:53,162 --> 00:22:54,825
But we're gonna have a
safety belt refresher course.
675
00:22:54,849 --> 00:22:56,120
- We'll talk about it later.
- Okay.
676
00:22:56,144 --> 00:22:57,145
- My daughter.
- By the way,
677
00:22:57,169 --> 00:22:58,750
you got 10s across
the board for your dive.
678
00:22:58,774 --> 00:23:00,152
Thank you!
679
00:23:00,455 --> 00:23:02,499
Ka'ponko! Oh, my goodness!
680
00:23:02,523 --> 00:23:04,301
Thank God you're okay!
681
00:23:04,325 --> 00:23:06,916
Hey, hey! Okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay!
682
00:23:06,941 --> 00:23:08,386
Hey! I'm okay!
683
00:23:08,411 --> 00:23:09,655
The Nextdoor app said there was a guy
684
00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:11,119
who was gonna jump off a building.
685
00:23:11,144 --> 00:23:13,843
We figured it was you because
you're such an emotional mess!
686
00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:15,402
I have every right to be a mess.
687
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:17,290
- I know.
- You do?
688
00:23:17,315 --> 00:23:20,116
Yeah, I was talking to my 2:00 about it,
689
00:23:20,141 --> 00:23:22,186
and she told me I was
being a crazy person.
690
00:23:22,210 --> 00:23:24,411
She was right. I was wrong, all right?
691
00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,614
We can work through this together!
692
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:27,994
Aww!
693
00:23:29,649 --> 00:23:32,016
Oh, hi, Andy's mom. Hi, Andy's grandma.
694
00:23:33,136 --> 00:23:34,598
Is Ike still single?
695
00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:36,333
- I think so.
- Sweet.
696
00:23:36,357 --> 00:23:38,925
- I could hit that.
- Eww.
697
00:23:40,649 --> 00:23:44,718
[SOFT R&B MUSIC]
698
00:23:45,273 --> 00:23:47,745
♪ I wanna tell you, baby ♪
699
00:23:48,169 --> 00:23:50,368
♪ What you meant to me ♪
700
00:23:51,310 --> 00:23:53,950
♪ All those good times we shared ♪
701
00:23:57,424 --> 00:24:00,717
♪ All the love that we
have for each other ♪
702
00:24:02,202 --> 00:24:03,826
Okay. Come on, Luce.
703
00:24:03,851 --> 00:24:05,330
Rubber match! Let's go!
704
00:24:05,355 --> 00:24:06,864
[SIGHS, REGULAR VOICE] Man.
705
00:24:06,889 --> 00:24:08,659
I really miss my old voice.
706
00:24:08,684 --> 00:24:10,794
I was the talk of the karaoke circuit.
707
00:24:10,819 --> 00:24:13,832
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
708
00:24:13,857 --> 00:24:17,107
[YELLS]
709
00:24:17,132 --> 00:24:19,027
[VOICE DEEPENS]
710
00:24:19,052 --> 00:24:20,296
You okay?
711
00:24:20,321 --> 00:24:21,816
[DEEP VOICE] Chief.
712
00:24:21,841 --> 00:24:24,032
You are my father!
713
00:24:24,057 --> 00:24:25,768
[LAUGHTER]
714
00:24:25,793 --> 00:24:27,193
That's awesome.
715
00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:30,857
It's funny 'cause it's true.