1 00:00:04,125 --> 00:00:07,393 Yeah, yeah, yeah, aw. 2 00:00:07,655 --> 00:00:08,823 Ahh. 3 00:00:09,575 --> 00:00:10,575 Ahh. 4 00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:12,288 Unbelievable. 5 00:00:12,715 --> 00:00:15,201 I wouldn't have believed it myself, had I not watched 6 00:00:15,226 --> 00:00:16,625 the whole thing in the mirror. 7 00:00:17,675 --> 00:00:20,142 If Jerry ever knew I was having sex 8 00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:23,859 with Eddie Penisi, he'd go psycho. 9 00:00:23,884 --> 00:00:25,876 Ooh, how psycho are we talking? 10 00:00:26,452 --> 00:00:27,523 Does it turn you on? 11 00:00:27,548 --> 00:00:28,921 Yeah, a little bit. 12 00:00:30,177 --> 00:00:31,598 Okay, a lot. 13 00:00:32,019 --> 00:00:33,361 You think he'd be mad, huh? 14 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:35,959 He would go into a rage if he knew 15 00:00:35,984 --> 00:00:38,647 that you ravaged his childhood sweetheart. 16 00:00:38,649 --> 00:00:40,878 Go on, but talk slower. 17 00:00:41,768 --> 00:00:42,807 Shit, I think he's here. 18 00:00:42,832 --> 00:00:44,552 No, no, no. Don't skip to the end. 19 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:45,637 I want to savor this. 20 00:00:45,639 --> 00:00:46,971 I just heard his keys in the door. 21 00:00:46,973 --> 00:00:48,106 Mmm, yeah. That's good. 22 00:00:48,108 --> 00:00:49,255 The details are everything. 23 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,371 - Lola. - Huh? 24 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:51,420 We need to talk. 25 00:00:51,445 --> 00:00:53,111 Holy shit. He really is here. 26 00:00:53,113 --> 00:00:54,119 Under the bed. 27 00:00:54,781 --> 00:00:56,180 I thought you guys were separated. 28 00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:58,689 We are. I just haven't changed the locks. 29 00:00:59,383 --> 00:01:00,883 Lola, where are you?! 30 00:01:05,037 --> 00:01:06,354 Jerry, no. 31 00:01:06,593 --> 00:01:09,142 One more chance, baby. Come on. 32 00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,438 I've learned my lesson. From now on, Daddy Bear 33 00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:13,709 keeps his service revolver in his holster, 34 00:01:13,734 --> 00:01:16,646 and he also stops sleeping with other women. 35 00:01:18,272 --> 00:01:19,562 You look great. 36 00:01:20,151 --> 00:01:21,250 Well, just let me get dressed. 37 00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:22,742 I'll meet you in the kitchen. 38 00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:25,790 Okay. 39 00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,726 He calls himself Daddy Bear? I thought I was a freak. 40 00:01:32,751 --> 00:01:33,885 How do I get you out of here? 41 00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:34,914 I got this. 42 00:01:35,518 --> 00:01:36,630 Eddie, you can't do that. 43 00:01:36,655 --> 00:01:37,789 We're three stories up. 44 00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,981 - Eddie! - You're dynamite. 45 00:01:40,006 --> 00:01:41,938 - No! - Whoo! 46 00:01:41,963 --> 00:01:43,612 - Yeah! - Alright! 47 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,819 - Good form. - Rock 'n' roll, baby. 48 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,886 - Look at him. - Oh, wow. 49 00:01:48,021 --> 00:01:50,435 I am on a roll. Thanks, guys. 50 00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:51,503 Hey, no problem, man. 51 00:01:51,505 --> 00:01:52,904 We were right down the street at Starbucks. 52 00:01:52,906 --> 00:01:54,506 Oh, did you get me a grande macchiato 53 00:01:54,508 --> 00:01:55,774 and low-fat raspberry muffin? 54 00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:56,863 We sure did. 55 00:01:56,888 --> 00:01:58,287 You're lucky we were in the neighborhood. 56 00:01:58,312 --> 00:01:59,397 I'm not lucky. 57 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,118 I'm Eddie Penisi. 58 00:02:01,143 --> 00:02:03,936 - Hey. - Son of a bitch. 59 00:02:17,252 --> 00:02:20,942 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 60 00:02:25,651 --> 00:02:27,783 Thank you all so much for joining us 61 00:02:27,808 --> 00:02:30,008 for this year's Tacoma Police Department 62 00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:32,877 versus Fire Department charity boxing match. 63 00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:35,547 - Yeah! - Sorry, Chief. 64 00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:38,121 Didn't mean to use the word "match" in your presence. 65 00:02:38,485 --> 00:02:39,735 Oh, it's okay. 66 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,753 You used a different meaning of the word, so... 67 00:02:44,023 --> 00:02:45,023 So true. 68 00:02:45,395 --> 00:02:48,396 Well, I know the press has a lot of questions, so... 69 00:02:48,495 --> 00:02:51,199 Yes, Ken Walthers, "My Neighborhood App." 70 00:02:51,431 --> 00:02:54,433 Care to comment about the missing dog on Maple Drive? 71 00:02:55,052 --> 00:02:56,656 Okay, no one from the real press? 72 00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:59,615 Well, then I will announce the matchups. 73 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:00,839 Yeah! 74 00:03:00,841 --> 00:03:03,775 This year promises four thrilling showdowns, 75 00:03:03,777 --> 00:03:07,846 TFD Engineer Ike Crystal will take on Officer Leonard Tubbs, 76 00:03:07,848 --> 00:03:09,982 and Officer Brad Shuck will go toe-to-toe 77 00:03:09,984 --> 00:03:12,214 with Paramedic Granville Smith. 78 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:16,188 Officer Liz Salazar will take on Lucy McConky, 79 00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:18,256 who is a collegiate judo champ. 80 00:03:18,258 --> 00:03:19,924 I'd like to take a moment to introduce 81 00:03:19,926 --> 00:03:21,993 a special young man in the crowd, 82 00:03:21,995 --> 00:03:24,929 volunteer junior police explorer Bucky Edelstein, 83 00:03:24,931 --> 00:03:26,931 who walks the German Shepherd on weekends. 84 00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:28,533 Aw. 85 00:03:28,535 --> 00:03:32,671 Young Bucky will take on TFD's very own Andy Myawani. 86 00:03:32,673 --> 00:03:36,008 Now, who's ready for some trash talk? 87 00:03:38,144 --> 00:03:39,607 Captain Polonsky. 88 00:03:46,655 --> 00:03:48,251 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 89 00:03:48,365 --> 00:03:51,667 We look forward to showing Grit City. 90 00:03:51,692 --> 00:03:55,293 Which department has the most grit. 91 00:03:55,295 --> 00:03:57,533 - Boom! - TPD! 92 00:03:58,058 --> 00:04:01,211 And as far as Tacoma FD is concerned, 93 00:04:01,299 --> 00:04:04,858 well, you have the right 94 00:04:04,883 --> 00:04:07,440 to receive a first-degree beatdown. 95 00:04:07,465 --> 00:04:10,323 - Oh! - Oh! 96 00:04:10,348 --> 00:04:12,482 You have the right 97 00:04:12,507 --> 00:04:15,130 to have the bitch slapped out of you. 98 00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:17,849 If you cannot stand up after, 99 00:04:17,851 --> 00:04:21,519 a stretcher will be provided for you. 100 00:04:23,523 --> 00:04:25,784 - TPD out! - TPD! 101 00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:32,967 Wow. 102 00:04:33,199 --> 00:04:35,525 Talk about your Miranda Wrongs. 103 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,948 Okay, now let's get fired up for Chief Terry McConky. 104 00:04:40,973 --> 00:04:42,440 - Yeah! - Yes! 105 00:04:42,465 --> 00:04:43,475 Let's go, Chief! 106 00:04:44,512 --> 00:04:46,115 No. No. 107 00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:47,211 Tell them, Chief! 108 00:04:47,213 --> 00:04:49,547 Yeah. We're looking forward to this, 109 00:04:49,549 --> 00:04:52,947 and, uh, it's gonna be a really big thing. 110 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,879 Oh, sir. Can you clear that doorway? 111 00:04:56,957 --> 00:04:58,708 That is an emergency egress. 112 00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:00,034 Thank you. 113 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:02,294 Well, that'll sell tickets. 114 00:05:02,296 --> 00:05:06,208 Let's all hear it for the Battle Just Outside Seattle. 115 00:05:06,542 --> 00:05:09,577 - Alright! - Yeah! 116 00:05:13,039 --> 00:05:15,657 Hey, probie, I got a ton of grunt work for you to do. 117 00:05:15,792 --> 00:05:18,242 I got a bunch of unwrapped hose in the garage. 118 00:05:18,244 --> 00:05:19,911 The equipment needs to be stowed on the shelves, 119 00:05:19,913 --> 00:05:22,464 and the bathrooms need a once-over, so come on. 120 00:05:22,814 --> 00:05:24,382 - That's a lot of grunting. - Here. 121 00:05:24,384 --> 00:05:26,451 I got a probie do-list for you to do, too. 122 00:05:26,453 --> 00:05:28,057 Start by sharpening the axes. 123 00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:29,964 Somebody used them to break down a side of beef 124 00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:32,134 that somebody bought at the butcher shop yesterday. 125 00:05:34,773 --> 00:05:35,994 Hey, Granny. 126 00:05:35,996 --> 00:05:37,662 I got these test results from my doctor, 127 00:05:37,664 --> 00:05:39,050 and it can't make heads or tails of it. 128 00:05:39,075 --> 00:05:40,132 Can you help me out here? 129 00:05:40,995 --> 00:05:43,639 Aha. This is why you've been so sluggish lately. 130 00:05:43,791 --> 00:05:45,025 I don't think I been that... 131 00:05:52,679 --> 00:05:53,745 I don't think I've been that sluggish. 132 00:05:53,747 --> 00:05:55,347 It says here that you got low T. 133 00:05:55,349 --> 00:05:56,815 - Low testosterone? - Yeah. 134 00:05:56,817 --> 00:05:58,817 You got the levels of a 13-year-old girl. 135 00:05:58,819 --> 00:05:59,819 Huh. 136 00:06:00,099 --> 00:06:01,806 That's why I've been watching so much "Riverdale." 137 00:06:01,888 --> 00:06:03,287 I thought it was the dark take 138 00:06:03,289 --> 00:06:04,756 on an otherwise delightful comic book. 139 00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:06,691 Their Jughead doesn't even wear the crown. 140 00:06:06,693 --> 00:06:08,423 - That part doesn't bother me. - Yeah, no. 141 00:06:08,448 --> 00:06:10,362 Decline in testosterone happens with age 142 00:06:10,364 --> 00:06:11,629 or unhealthy living. 143 00:06:11,631 --> 00:06:12,964 Huh. What's the fix? 144 00:06:12,966 --> 00:06:14,166 Easy, just take some pills. 145 00:06:14,168 --> 00:06:16,512 You got Testy Boost XL or Pharmasec. 146 00:06:16,588 --> 00:06:17,720 Yeah, right. 147 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,049 Side effects include dry mouth and hairy knees. 148 00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,174 You know, I don't recommend 149 00:06:22,176 --> 00:06:23,441 taking too many pills, though, Chief. 150 00:06:23,443 --> 00:06:24,642 I take a fistful every morning, 151 00:06:24,644 --> 00:06:25,977 and I haven't crapped right in years. 152 00:06:25,979 --> 00:06:27,659 I don't want to jeopardize my craps. 153 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,466 Those are my three favorite times of the day. 154 00:06:29,491 --> 00:06:30,741 There are other ways, though. 155 00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:33,603 In fact, there's a great article in this month's "Chiseled AF," 156 00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:35,899 "Natural Remedies for Everyday Maladies." 157 00:06:36,256 --> 00:06:37,989 You know, can get your testosterone levels up 158 00:06:37,991 --> 00:06:40,192 just by doing more male-based activities. 159 00:06:40,194 --> 00:06:42,194 For instance, you could get your T levels up 160 00:06:42,196 --> 00:06:43,395 just by eating more steak. 161 00:06:43,397 --> 00:06:44,596 Hmm. I like steak. 162 00:06:44,598 --> 00:06:46,130 That's... that's not how it works. 163 00:06:46,132 --> 00:06:47,199 Let me ask you a question. 164 00:06:47,201 --> 00:06:48,667 You find yourself doing an overwhelming amount 165 00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,134 of female activities? 166 00:06:50,136 --> 00:06:51,603 I do. I'm surrounded by women. 167 00:06:51,605 --> 00:06:53,137 I have a wife and three daughters. 168 00:06:53,139 --> 00:06:54,739 They make me piss sitting down. 169 00:06:54,741 --> 00:06:56,074 They made me buy a cat. 170 00:06:56,076 --> 00:06:57,342 They made me watch "The Voice." 171 00:06:57,344 --> 00:06:59,378 - I do all those. - Unbelievable. 172 00:07:00,992 --> 00:07:02,648 - Eh. - Oh. 173 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,006 Ah, man. That's pathetic. 174 00:07:04,031 --> 00:07:05,496 - Way off! - Yikes. 175 00:07:05,876 --> 00:07:06,885 Help me out here, guys. 176 00:07:06,887 --> 00:07:07,934 For the sake of your health, 177 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:10,484 you need 200cc of steak, stat. 178 00:07:10,509 --> 00:07:11,691 Eat steak. 179 00:07:11,958 --> 00:07:13,157 I can get onboard with that. 180 00:07:13,159 --> 00:07:14,559 Sure, because you never need to base 181 00:07:14,561 --> 00:07:16,160 your medical decisions on science. 182 00:07:16,162 --> 00:07:17,695 Right. Science is for nerds. 183 00:07:17,697 --> 00:07:19,431 I hate nerds. 184 00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:20,433 Carry on. 185 00:07:21,301 --> 00:07:22,767 Hey, if it's like the middle of the night, though, 186 00:07:22,769 --> 00:07:24,521 you guys do sit down, right? 187 00:07:24,863 --> 00:07:25,863 What? 188 00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:30,221 This is gonna be our year. I'm telling you. 189 00:07:30,246 --> 00:07:31,395 Ooh, ah! 190 00:07:33,107 --> 00:07:35,041 You guys know the best way to train for a fight 191 00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:36,272 is lifting heavy crap. 192 00:07:36,463 --> 00:07:37,529 You guys want in on this? 193 00:07:37,628 --> 00:07:39,726 Ha! Try again, Tom Sawyer. 194 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,779 You trying to trick us into doing your grunt work. 195 00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:44,248 I'm trying to give you guys the competitive edge. 196 00:07:44,273 --> 00:07:45,939 You guys lost to the cops last year. 197 00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:47,132 - Didn't that suck? - Yeah. 198 00:07:47,157 --> 00:07:48,793 Yeah. That was pretty shitty, I guess. 199 00:07:48,795 --> 00:07:50,528 This is the year you get revenge. 200 00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:53,642 I mean, how did Rocky Balboa beat Ivan Drago in "Rocky IV"? 201 00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,333 He was more American. 202 00:07:55,335 --> 00:07:58,470 Chopping wood, lifting rocks in a barn, those were chores. 203 00:07:58,472 --> 00:08:00,404 Rocky was just doing Mickey's chores. 204 00:08:00,406 --> 00:08:02,140 Mickey wasn't in "Rocky IV." He was dead by then. 205 00:08:02,142 --> 00:08:04,208 Yeah, Lucy. "You're a bum!" 206 00:08:04,210 --> 00:08:05,877 It's more like, "You're a bum, 207 00:08:05,879 --> 00:08:07,145 and you'll never amount to nothing." 208 00:08:07,147 --> 00:08:08,555 He kind of sounds more drunk like, 209 00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:11,060 "You're a bum, Lucy. I found you in the Dumpster." 210 00:08:11,085 --> 00:08:12,099 Eh, no. That sucks. It's more 211 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,411 this, "You're a bum, I tells you." 212 00:08:14,436 --> 00:08:15,609 No. Need more spittle. 213 00:08:15,634 --> 00:08:17,689 "You're a stinking bum, Rocky. 214 00:08:17,691 --> 00:08:19,867 I'll never train a stinking bum like you." 215 00:08:19,892 --> 00:08:20,975 - Oh. There it is. - Yeah. 216 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,976 One of you guys is a dead man. 217 00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,002 So dead. 218 00:08:24,027 --> 00:08:25,852 You guys ever enter a room without storming in angrily? 219 00:08:25,877 --> 00:08:27,008 I want to know which one of your guys 220 00:08:27,033 --> 00:08:28,700 is sending dick pics to my wife. 221 00:08:28,702 --> 00:08:30,347 Why do you think it was one of my guys, Jerry? 222 00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:32,533 Because he's wearing blue pants, Terry. 223 00:08:32,558 --> 00:08:34,265 - That could be any uniform. - Oh, really? 224 00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:36,045 Take a look. What do you see? 225 00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:37,536 Hmm, a penis. 226 00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:38,911 Behind the penis. 227 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,255 - Uh, scrotum. - Behind the scrotum. 228 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,479 How do you enlarge this thing? 229 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:43,814 Right there. 230 00:08:43,839 --> 00:08:45,293 Huh? What do you see? 231 00:08:45,478 --> 00:08:48,451 That's a locker with a Tacoma FD turnout. 232 00:08:48,476 --> 00:08:49,817 I mean, I still see scrotum. 233 00:08:49,923 --> 00:08:52,485 Trust me. I know it's not Andy. 234 00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:54,417 Let me just narrow this down for you, Jerry. 235 00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:56,116 The mystery member belongs to me. 236 00:08:56,141 --> 00:08:57,572 - You son of a bitch. - No, no! 237 00:08:57,597 --> 00:08:58,663 I'll kill you! 238 00:08:58,665 --> 00:08:59,786 - Whoa! - You cheated on her. 239 00:08:59,811 --> 00:09:02,288 I was just revenge, a dish best served 240 00:09:02,313 --> 00:09:05,045 with a side of sausage a la Penisi. 241 00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:07,214 - Hey! - A la Penisi! 242 00:09:07,239 --> 00:09:08,406 A la Penisi! 243 00:09:08,431 --> 00:09:09,431 You know what? 244 00:09:09,456 --> 00:09:10,685 I'm not gonna kill you today. 245 00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:12,989 I'm gonna wait till next week after my guys pummel 246 00:09:13,014 --> 00:09:14,602 your guys at the boxing match 247 00:09:14,627 --> 00:09:17,708 because I challenge you to the main event. 248 00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:19,297 - Ooh! - Alright. 249 00:09:19,322 --> 00:09:21,322 I just crapped in my underpants. 250 00:09:21,347 --> 00:09:23,642 Good thing I'm wearing yours. 251 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:27,425 - Oh! - Oh! 252 00:09:30,849 --> 00:09:34,370 Doo-doo-doo-doo-da-da! 253 00:09:34,395 --> 00:09:35,395 You know what? 254 00:09:35,814 --> 00:09:38,294 You're a dead man, and I'm telling my guys 255 00:09:38,319 --> 00:09:40,051 anyone who knocks their opponent out cold 256 00:09:40,273 --> 00:09:42,179 gets a free lobster dinner. 257 00:09:42,204 --> 00:09:43,738 - Ooh! - Ooh! 258 00:09:43,763 --> 00:09:45,222 We talking Red Lobster, 259 00:09:45,247 --> 00:09:47,622 or we talking tablecloths and napkins 260 00:09:47,647 --> 00:09:50,204 and candles, like, Il Lobsterino? 261 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,339 Cloth, candles. 262 00:09:52,364 --> 00:09:53,986 - Yeah. - Sommelier. 263 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,654 - Sommelier. - Ooh! 264 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,023 Why would you want to go to a Somalian lobster restaurant? 265 00:09:58,672 --> 00:10:01,186 - We'll see you next week. - Ooh. 266 00:10:01,385 --> 00:10:03,184 Maybe a snifter of cognac, capreses. 267 00:10:03,209 --> 00:10:04,209 Come on. 268 00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:06,163 Relax. It's gonna be fine. 269 00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:07,558 I'm Eddie Penisi. 270 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:08,600 ♪ Eddie ♪ 271 00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:09,890 - Hey! - Whoa! 272 00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:11,206 Son of a bitch. 273 00:10:20,327 --> 00:10:22,135 Hmm, impressive. 274 00:10:22,564 --> 00:10:25,512 Yeah. Now that this charity match has turned into a blood sport, 275 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,799 I'm wondering if we should take up 276 00:10:26,824 --> 00:10:28,967 - Judo Girl on her offer. - Alrighty. 277 00:10:28,992 --> 00:10:30,651 You really thinking about doing her chores? 278 00:10:30,676 --> 00:10:33,242 What if she is like Mr. Miyagi from "The Karate Kid," 279 00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:34,733 and all the repetitive movements 280 00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:36,515 turn into super-cool martial-arts moves 281 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,850 that we can apply to the ring? 282 00:10:40,817 --> 00:10:42,441 Son of a bitch! 283 00:10:42,466 --> 00:10:44,935 - Ooh! - Ooh-hoo-hoo! 284 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,645 Hey, it worked 3 times in the '80s 285 00:10:46,670 --> 00:10:48,592 and one time for Will Smith's son, so... 286 00:10:48,617 --> 00:10:49,895 Yeah. Let's do this. 287 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,730 - Let's do it. - Hey, ma'am. 288 00:10:52,541 --> 00:10:53,717 You ever seen "Robin Hood"? 289 00:10:53,909 --> 00:10:56,244 - You know what I mean? - Here you go. 290 00:10:56,269 --> 00:10:57,284 Yeah. What's this? 291 00:10:57,309 --> 00:10:58,857 Chief has got low testosterone, so... 292 00:10:58,955 --> 00:11:00,444 Yeah, well, no surprise there. 293 00:11:00,469 --> 00:11:02,439 Terry is a girl's name, and he's only got one testicle. 294 00:11:02,464 --> 00:11:04,496 Hey, I lost that testicle saving your life. 295 00:11:04,521 --> 00:11:06,832 So what? The lamb chops are supposed to hike up your T levels? 296 00:11:06,857 --> 00:11:08,589 Yeah. Granny wants me to take pills. 297 00:11:08,614 --> 00:11:10,682 I figured first I'd try the Ike Crystal Method. 298 00:11:10,707 --> 00:11:12,640 Yeah. I call it the Crystal Meth for short. 299 00:11:14,722 --> 00:11:16,015 Crystal Meth? Okay. 300 00:11:16,151 --> 00:11:17,201 What's with the crossbow? 301 00:11:17,226 --> 00:11:18,313 I'm going hunting this weekend. 302 00:11:18,338 --> 00:11:19,736 - You don't hunt. - He does now. 303 00:11:19,761 --> 00:11:21,468 I do now. Oh, you know what? 304 00:11:21,493 --> 00:11:23,573 This thing with you and little Polonsky, knock it off. 305 00:11:23,598 --> 00:11:24,598 You're playing with fire. 306 00:11:24,623 --> 00:11:26,157 And as we all know, fire is bad. 307 00:11:26,182 --> 00:11:27,381 What can I say, fellas? 308 00:11:27,406 --> 00:11:28,805 Like many first responders, 309 00:11:28,830 --> 00:11:31,278 I have developed quite a thirst for danger. 310 00:11:31,303 --> 00:11:33,637 Well, drinking danger is not good for anyone's digestion. 311 00:11:33,662 --> 00:11:36,090 - Just point it that way. - I don't think you guys understand. 312 00:11:36,115 --> 00:11:37,948 I am such a hot streak right now. 313 00:11:37,973 --> 00:11:39,385 Everything is coming up Eddie. 314 00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:41,418 Every time I go to the track, I win big. 315 00:11:41,443 --> 00:11:43,777 Every time I turn on the radio, it's Def Leppard. 316 00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,929 - I can't lose. - Well, thanks to you, 317 00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:48,154 all these guys have lobster bounties on their heads. 318 00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:50,267 Well, I can't speak for the other guys, 319 00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,434 but I'm Eddie Penisi. 320 00:11:51,459 --> 00:11:52,895 ♪ Eddie ♪ 321 00:11:52,993 --> 00:11:54,792 Are you trying to turn your name into a catch phrase? 322 00:11:54,817 --> 00:11:57,384 No, though it would look nice on a bumper sticker. 323 00:11:57,503 --> 00:11:59,037 Break it off with Lola Polonsky 324 00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:00,405 before your luck runs out. 325 00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:01,459 Whoa! Oh, boy. 326 00:12:01,484 --> 00:12:03,414 - Oh-hoo-hoo! - Whoa. 327 00:12:03,439 --> 00:12:04,685 Okay. See that? 328 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,528 There was a time when that would have nailed me 329 00:12:06,553 --> 00:12:09,062 right between the eyes, but not these days 330 00:12:09,087 --> 00:12:11,249 because these days I'm crapping rabbits' feet. 331 00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:12,693 ♪ Eddie ♪ 332 00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:16,632 Medium rare? 333 00:12:16,657 --> 00:12:17,795 Yeah. I barely cooked them. 334 00:12:18,552 --> 00:12:19,664 I like medium well. 335 00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:24,033 Roll the hose. Roll the hose. 336 00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:25,160 Roll the hose. 337 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,513 I like to see you keeping it tight, mopping the floors. 338 00:12:28,634 --> 00:12:30,060 Yep, full extension. 339 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,618 Great work, Ike. 340 00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:34,016 Clean the toilet bowl. 341 00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:36,251 Clean the toilet bowl, and... Oh, man. 342 00:12:36,276 --> 00:12:38,373 It's kind of hard to yell at you when you're looking like that. 343 00:12:38,398 --> 00:12:40,056 I feel it in my triceps, coach. 344 00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:42,820 You're killing it, Andy. Keep it up. 345 00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:45,730 Can you talk to me about your influences? 346 00:12:45,755 --> 00:12:48,860 I think my fighting style could best be described 347 00:12:48,885 --> 00:12:50,965 as the grace of George Foreman 348 00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:53,231 with the intensity of Jackie Chan. 349 00:12:54,422 --> 00:12:55,685 Son of a bitch. 350 00:12:56,256 --> 00:12:57,497 You really called the press? 351 00:12:57,522 --> 00:12:58,950 Hey, I love this beat. 352 00:12:59,173 --> 00:13:01,635 I mean, usually I just post pictures about people 353 00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:03,080 I don't think belong in the neighborhood. 354 00:13:04,371 --> 00:13:07,742 Hello. I have to go. 355 00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:10,951 Uh, there's a missing package on Mulberry Lane. 356 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,909 - That guy's the best. - Sounds important. 357 00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:16,578 Cap, you should really come train with us, you know? 358 00:13:16,889 --> 00:13:17,889 I don't know if you know this, 359 00:13:17,891 --> 00:13:19,297 but Polonsky is a Golden Gloves champion. 360 00:13:19,322 --> 00:13:21,402 No need. I got the psychological edge. 361 00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:22,800 I'm putting the stones to his wife. 362 00:13:22,825 --> 00:13:24,404 That does a number on a guy. 363 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,430 Check this out. 364 00:13:25,455 --> 00:13:27,520 Polonsky just tagged you in a video, Cap. 365 00:13:29,472 --> 00:13:32,087 Penisi, I am gonna bury you 366 00:13:32,364 --> 00:13:34,756 and then have a holiday party on your grave! 367 00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:41,008 - Wow. He's good. - Fast, too. 368 00:13:41,033 --> 00:13:42,121 You sure you don't want to take this 369 00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:43,217 a little more seriously? 370 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,236 You're right. I got to step up my game. 371 00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:48,596 Ahh. 372 00:13:48,621 --> 00:13:49,628 Now I'm ready. 373 00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:52,012 - Ah, not quite. - Oh-ho-ho-ho. 374 00:13:52,037 --> 00:13:53,379 There you go. Now you are. 375 00:13:53,404 --> 00:13:55,795 Smooth as the day your doctor slapped that behind. 376 00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:56,844 Thanks, Andy's mom. 377 00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:59,378 Always a pleasure having you bronze and depilate me. 378 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,078 Everybody is talking about the big fight 379 00:14:01,103 --> 00:14:02,404 - on "My Neighborhood App." - Mm-hmm. 380 00:14:02,429 --> 00:14:05,035 I got big Benjamins riding on you, Captain Eddie. 381 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:07,212 Whatever you're betting, double it. 382 00:14:07,344 --> 00:14:08,847 Polonsky is a monster. 383 00:14:08,872 --> 00:14:11,495 Maybe you'd want to take a supplement, 384 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,721 maybe not FDA approved, maybe? 385 00:14:14,746 --> 00:14:16,746 No thanks. I got this fight in the bag. 386 00:14:16,771 --> 00:14:18,827 Remember, I'm Eddie Penisi. 387 00:14:18,852 --> 00:14:19,876 ♪ Eddie ♪ 388 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,942 Alright. Nobody questions you're Eddie Penisi, 389 00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:25,089 but in case you're not, perhaps you'd be interested 390 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:29,450 in taking something called whale haunch. 391 00:14:29,907 --> 00:14:31,286 - Whale haunch? - Mm-hmm. 392 00:14:31,311 --> 00:14:32,939 Strongest part of the whale. 393 00:14:32,964 --> 00:14:34,297 King Konali Pakooli 394 00:14:34,322 --> 00:14:36,379 gave it to his warriors before every battle. 395 00:14:36,582 --> 00:14:38,735 Gave them untold strength. 396 00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:40,453 Hmm, I don't know. 397 00:14:40,478 --> 00:14:41,811 Aw, come on. 398 00:14:41,905 --> 00:14:44,275 I need to get rid of this stuff in case there's a raid, huh? 399 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,293 Okay, Andy's mom, for you. 400 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:47,667 Alright. $22.95. 401 00:14:47,692 --> 00:14:48,824 - I'll take two. - Good. 402 00:14:48,849 --> 00:14:50,115 - Yeah. - Yeah. 403 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,863 Can I get you anything else? 404 00:14:51,888 --> 00:14:54,962 Perhaps you'd be interested in a gremlin? 405 00:14:54,987 --> 00:14:55,992 You got a gremlin in there? 406 00:14:56,017 --> 00:14:57,350 Careful. She's in heat. 407 00:15:00,679 --> 00:15:02,546 Well, I think that's it for the training. 408 00:15:02,571 --> 00:15:04,698 You fellas are in great shape, totally ready. 409 00:15:04,901 --> 00:15:06,395 Wait. That's it? 410 00:15:06,429 --> 00:15:08,128 We're ready at the exact same time 411 00:15:08,153 --> 00:15:09,558 that all your grunt work is finished. 412 00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:11,716 There isn't any hidden Mr. Miyagi techniques 413 00:15:11,741 --> 00:15:12,749 to use in the ring? 414 00:15:12,774 --> 00:15:14,536 When you gonna show us how it all comes together? 415 00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:16,158 That kind of shit only happens in movies. 416 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,969 - What?! Are you kidding me? - What? 417 00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:19,921 You guys are good boxers. You'll be fine. 418 00:15:21,322 --> 00:15:22,533 We trusted you. 419 00:15:22,936 --> 00:15:24,359 Oh, Ike. 420 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,649 - Whoa! - Whoa! 421 00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:35,765 Clean the toilet! 422 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:37,749 Roll the hose! 423 00:15:37,774 --> 00:15:39,449 Clean the toilet! Clean the toilet! 424 00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:40,807 Hey, Lucy. Throw me a punch. 425 00:15:41,062 --> 00:15:42,110 Ah! 426 00:15:42,135 --> 00:15:44,549 Throw me a punch! Clean the toilet! 427 00:15:45,009 --> 00:15:47,426 There were hidden Miyagi techniques in the grunt work. 428 00:15:47,451 --> 00:15:48,650 I guess there was. 429 00:15:48,675 --> 00:15:51,033 - We're gonna kick some ass. - Oh, yeah! 430 00:15:51,058 --> 00:15:52,202 Do me! Do me! 431 00:15:52,726 --> 00:15:54,035 - Whoa! - Oh, oh. 432 00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,106 - You good? - I wasn't ready. 433 00:15:55,131 --> 00:15:56,152 Yeah. Go again. 434 00:15:57,102 --> 00:15:58,568 - Yeah! - Hey! 435 00:15:58,593 --> 00:16:00,392 - We're gonna kill them. - Hell yeah! 436 00:16:14,644 --> 00:16:16,689 Hey, Vicky and girls! What's up?! 437 00:16:17,479 --> 00:16:18,878 Okay. Wow. 438 00:16:18,903 --> 00:16:20,366 - What is this? - Down here, right here. 439 00:16:20,391 --> 00:16:22,558 - Whoo! This is where the good stuff is. - Is it? Is it? 440 00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:24,052 This is where the rock 'n' roll is. 441 00:16:24,077 --> 00:16:25,519 Yeah, but you don't play guitar. 442 00:16:25,544 --> 00:16:27,395 Oh, you're right. I shred it. 443 00:16:28,677 --> 00:16:30,277 Wow. That's painful. 444 00:16:30,302 --> 00:16:31,954 - And you can hear it. - Okay. Alright. Alright. 445 00:16:31,979 --> 00:16:33,059 Let's bring it down. Let's bring it down. 446 00:16:33,084 --> 00:16:35,074 - Slash! - Let's bring it down, okay? 447 00:16:35,099 --> 00:16:36,110 You like Slash? 448 00:16:36,135 --> 00:16:37,860 No. I don't. I really don't, baby. 449 00:16:37,885 --> 00:16:38,885 No. 450 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,075 Anyway, you texted me about the girls. 451 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,980 Now you can't take them to the movies with their friends? 452 00:16:43,005 --> 00:16:44,060 - What's happening? - I can't 453 00:16:44,085 --> 00:16:46,053 chaperone 10 little girls to the movies 454 00:16:46,078 --> 00:16:48,895 to watch some sort of female a cappella group solve crimes. 455 00:16:49,073 --> 00:16:50,292 It hurts my T levels. 456 00:16:50,317 --> 00:16:52,718 I read it in "Chiseled AF" magazine. 457 00:16:52,743 --> 00:16:55,138 Partaking in female activities is bad for my T. 458 00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:57,012 So you want to up your T levels? 459 00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:58,648 It's not complicated. You just take a pill. 460 00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:00,405 I can easily get you Shaftamax. 461 00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:01,929 I can get you Nutchaspike. 462 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,779 I get it. You're all science-driven. 463 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,806 I want to do things the natural way. 464 00:17:06,238 --> 00:17:07,238 Okay. 465 00:17:07,263 --> 00:17:09,181 I guess you won't need these sweet little cupcakes 466 00:17:09,206 --> 00:17:10,333 your daughters made for you. 467 00:17:10,358 --> 00:17:12,732 They're pink and girly and sprinkle-y and rainbow 468 00:17:12,757 --> 00:17:15,274 because you, you're a manly son of a bitch. 469 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,329 - Come on, girls. - Hold on a second. 470 00:17:16,354 --> 00:17:17,845 Now, wait, wait, whoa, whoa. 471 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,527 Oh, hey, sis. Hey, girls. I'll take those. 472 00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:21,648 Yeah. No problem. Just don't let the chief have any. 473 00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,195 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Chiefy. 474 00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:25,625 I got something for you... whale haunch. 475 00:17:25,883 --> 00:17:27,745 King Krakatoa used to give this to his warriors 476 00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:29,570 before they ripped the heads of their enemies 477 00:17:29,595 --> 00:17:31,368 - with their bare hands. - This will make me manly? 478 00:17:31,393 --> 00:17:33,259 That'll spike your T right through your skull. 479 00:17:33,284 --> 00:17:34,483 I guess at this point, anything helps, right? 480 00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:36,108 - That's right. - Alright. 481 00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:37,358 - Yeah. - Bombs away. 482 00:17:37,383 --> 00:17:38,932 Do it. Oh, yeah. Chug it. Look at that. 483 00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:40,456 You're becoming one with the ocean. 484 00:17:40,481 --> 00:17:42,280 - Ouf. - Oh, yeah. 485 00:17:42,552 --> 00:17:43,968 - Yeah! - That's manly. 486 00:17:43,993 --> 00:17:45,050 Whale haunch! 487 00:17:45,075 --> 00:17:47,862 - Whoa! - Hey. 488 00:17:47,887 --> 00:17:50,220 This little guy survived as my streak continues. 489 00:17:50,245 --> 00:17:51,444 Hey, hey. Good luck in that match 490 00:17:51,469 --> 00:17:53,469 tomorrow, man, although I know 491 00:17:53,494 --> 00:17:55,701 you don't need it, right, because you're Eddie... 492 00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,560 Penisi! 493 00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:04,219 Aaaah! 494 00:18:04,244 --> 00:18:05,307 Aah! 495 00:18:15,388 --> 00:18:18,313 Ladies and gentlemen of Tacoma, 496 00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:21,740 let's get prepared to pummel. 497 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,905 Alright, guys. Remember, just go to the moves. 498 00:18:26,930 --> 00:18:29,303 Mop the floor. Scrub the toilet. Roll the hose. 499 00:18:29,328 --> 00:18:30,578 They are not gonna know what hit them. 500 00:18:30,603 --> 00:18:31,670 Yes, Sensei! 501 00:18:38,111 --> 00:18:41,699 Come on, Granny. Roll the hose. 502 00:18:41,724 --> 00:18:43,296 - Roll the hose. - Roll the hose. 503 00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:44,454 - Roll the hose. - Yeah! 504 00:18:45,368 --> 00:18:46,368 Ouf! 505 00:18:48,358 --> 00:18:49,851 Oops. 506 00:18:49,876 --> 00:18:51,073 Alright, Ike. You got this. 507 00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,742 - Tubbs! Tubbs! - Come on, buddy. 508 00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,219 Just like we practiced, big guy. 509 00:18:55,244 --> 00:18:56,905 Mop the floor! Mop the floor! 510 00:18:56,930 --> 00:18:59,247 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 511 00:19:01,178 --> 00:19:02,178 Okay. 512 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,396 Oh! 513 00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:10,992 Let's do this, Pikachu. 514 00:19:11,354 --> 00:19:13,811 My head says no, but my libido says yes. 515 00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:15,875 Doesn't he have that thing where he likes to get hit by her? 516 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,353 Yeah. It's called a fetish. 517 00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:20,704 Scrub the toilet! Scrub the toilet! 518 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,491 I'm sorry, Andy. 519 00:19:23,516 --> 00:19:24,888 Ah, don't worry about it. 520 00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:26,921 Either way, I come out a winner. 521 00:19:26,946 --> 00:19:28,040 You need help, man. 522 00:19:34,486 --> 00:19:37,343 Come on, man. Turn around and fight. 523 00:19:38,105 --> 00:19:39,335 Ugh! 524 00:19:40,081 --> 00:19:41,499 It's hard to feel good about that. 525 00:19:43,587 --> 00:19:45,091 - You don't need to do it. - Let me do it. 526 00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:46,766 Ow, ow, ow, ow, stop. Stop. Stop. 527 00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:47,807 Okay. Okay. Okay. 528 00:19:47,832 --> 00:19:49,373 Hey, boys. Check it out. 529 00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:51,231 Am I right? Like a king. 530 00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,589 Dude, you look like Gandalf. 531 00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:54,329 It's a little long, but check this out... 532 00:19:54,354 --> 00:19:55,361 rhinestones. 533 00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:57,317 - "Penisi Street." - Too much? 534 00:19:57,342 --> 00:19:59,007 - I paid extra. - Worth every penny. 535 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,329 You kidding me, Cap? Looks great. 536 00:20:00,354 --> 00:20:01,440 It's nice, right? It pops. 537 00:20:01,465 --> 00:20:02,775 You know what? Let's make dinner plans. 538 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,451 This thing is gonna be over in 10 minutes. 539 00:20:04,476 --> 00:20:06,478 - Granny, lace them up. - Okay. 540 00:20:06,631 --> 00:20:08,073 Oh, hey, Ikey, will you read that text to me? 541 00:20:08,098 --> 00:20:09,146 Sure, Cap. 542 00:20:09,171 --> 00:20:11,395 It's not so much a text as it is a picture 543 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,397 - of the female genitalia. - Nice. Okay. 544 00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:15,025 Text back, "I likes it," 545 00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:16,876 with the emoji of your choice. 546 00:20:16,901 --> 00:20:18,982 You sure, Cap? I mean, it's really graphic. 547 00:20:19,253 --> 00:20:20,276 I'm getting laced up. 548 00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:21,901 I'm about to save the honor of the station. 549 00:20:22,002 --> 00:20:23,740 Do me a solid. Text back. 550 00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:24,996 You choose the emoji. 551 00:20:25,419 --> 00:20:26,887 Of course. Alright. Yeah. Sure. 552 00:20:27,921 --> 00:20:28,987 "I likes it." Yeah. Pretzel emoji. 553 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,409 - Pretzel? - What, you don't like pretzels? 554 00:20:33,644 --> 00:20:34,910 Hi, sweetie. 555 00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:36,534 I came to watch you kick his ass. 556 00:20:36,559 --> 00:20:38,260 Hey, Lola. How you doing? 557 00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:40,366 We were just sexting you. 558 00:20:41,072 --> 00:20:42,715 You have a wonderful tramp stamp by the way. 559 00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:44,232 I don't have a tramp stamp. 560 00:20:44,257 --> 00:20:45,923 - That'll be all, Ike. - Is that you? 561 00:20:47,141 --> 00:20:48,202 You've been cheating on me? 562 00:20:48,227 --> 00:20:50,370 Did we establish exclusivity? 563 00:20:50,395 --> 00:20:51,434 You asshole. 564 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,294 Oh! Oh! Oh! 565 00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,566 Wow! 566 00:20:54,591 --> 00:20:57,108 I'll rip your head off your scrawny little body. 567 00:20:57,133 --> 00:20:59,154 - Sleep with one eye open, you prick. - Get her out of here. 568 00:20:59,512 --> 00:21:00,829 I'm gonna get you. 569 00:21:00,854 --> 00:21:01,957 Okay. Take it easy. 570 00:21:01,982 --> 00:21:03,131 What the hell happened in here? 571 00:21:03,156 --> 00:21:04,481 Oh, my ankle. 572 00:21:04,506 --> 00:21:05,572 Ahh. 573 00:21:06,442 --> 00:21:07,957 Your last name has penis in it. 574 00:21:08,116 --> 00:21:09,308 Anyone else notice that? 575 00:21:09,410 --> 00:21:11,588 Oh, yeah. This ankle is broken. 576 00:21:11,724 --> 00:21:13,083 I'm gonna have to pull him from the fight. 577 00:21:13,108 --> 00:21:15,086 I guess it's Polonsky's lucky day. 578 00:21:15,111 --> 00:21:16,644 - Oh, it's his lucky day? - Somebody go tell him. 579 00:21:16,669 --> 00:21:18,098 He just got a reprieve from the governor. 580 00:21:18,123 --> 00:21:20,178 He's faking. Pussy! 581 00:21:20,203 --> 00:21:22,003 Well, he's still gonna kick your ass. 582 00:21:22,028 --> 00:21:23,095 In, like, 6 to 8 weeks. 583 00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:25,405 Yeah. Yeah. You hear that? Mark your calendar. 584 00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:28,564 Oh, you're having your sister do your fighting for you now. 585 00:21:28,589 --> 00:21:30,434 Oh! Don't talk about my wife like that. 586 00:21:30,514 --> 00:21:32,230 I'll fight you myself, you assclown. 587 00:21:32,255 --> 00:21:33,556 Bring it on, fat boy. 588 00:21:33,581 --> 00:21:35,181 I don't care who it is at this point. 589 00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:36,496 Let's do this, ginger. 590 00:21:36,521 --> 00:21:39,251 Ginger?! Oh! It's on! 591 00:21:40,176 --> 00:21:41,372 Terry, you sure about this? 592 00:21:41,397 --> 00:21:42,730 Yeah. I'm sure about this. 593 00:21:43,107 --> 00:21:44,218 Ah! 594 00:21:44,488 --> 00:21:47,379 Uh, what in God's name is that? 595 00:21:47,404 --> 00:21:49,555 - You'll see. - Mm! 596 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,693 Whale haunch, makes a man strong. 597 00:21:52,718 --> 00:21:54,054 Chief, you haven't even trained. 598 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,484 I don't need to train because tonight, 599 00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:57,517 - I'm Eddie Penisi. - ♪ Eddie ♪ 600 00:21:57,542 --> 00:21:59,249 - Hey! - Hey! 601 00:22:00,116 --> 00:22:02,801 And now for the main event, 602 00:22:02,826 --> 00:22:05,997 followed by the raffle for the leaf blower, 603 00:22:06,174 --> 00:22:11,275 in this corner, weighing 190, the Jabrona from Tacoma, 604 00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,673 Police Captain Jerry Polonsky! 605 00:22:13,698 --> 00:22:15,506 - Yeah! - Boo! 606 00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:18,358 And in this corner, weighing... 607 00:22:18,383 --> 00:22:19,668 195! 608 00:22:20,416 --> 00:22:21,548 Sure. 609 00:22:21,702 --> 00:22:23,745 Fire Chief Terry McConky. 610 00:22:23,770 --> 00:22:25,436 - Whoo! - Go, Terry! 611 00:22:25,438 --> 00:22:26,946 - Come on! - Yeah! 612 00:22:28,068 --> 00:22:29,925 - Yeah, there he is. - Yes! 613 00:22:29,950 --> 00:22:31,387 - You up for this, Chief? - Yeah. 614 00:22:31,412 --> 00:22:33,039 I've been taking whale haunch. 615 00:22:33,064 --> 00:22:35,183 - Where'd you get that from? - Eddie gave it to me. 616 00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:37,018 - Where'd you get that from? - From your mom. 617 00:22:37,043 --> 00:22:38,720 Oh, that stuff is bullshit. 618 00:22:38,745 --> 00:22:41,011 It's just coconut water and vanilla extract. 619 00:22:41,036 --> 00:22:43,837 She tell you a whole story about King Kalapanaki? 620 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:44,871 Yeah. It's a great story. 621 00:22:44,896 --> 00:22:46,063 No. It's all fake. 622 00:22:46,354 --> 00:22:48,754 God, she makes so much money preying off white people's 623 00:22:48,779 --> 00:22:50,923 condescending beliefs in third-world cultures. 624 00:22:50,948 --> 00:22:53,498 Shrewd. She is so full of ancient-island wisdom. 625 00:22:53,523 --> 00:22:54,697 She try to sell you a gremlin? 626 00:22:54,722 --> 00:22:56,975 - She sold me a gremlin. - No. It's a flying squirrel. 627 00:22:57,102 --> 00:22:58,190 So wait. It's not real? 628 00:22:58,215 --> 00:22:59,280 Mnh-mnh. 629 00:22:59,305 --> 00:23:00,483 Oh, shit. 630 00:23:16,534 --> 00:23:18,434 Ahh. 631 00:23:27,210 --> 00:23:28,398 What'd the doctor say? 632 00:23:28,423 --> 00:23:29,614 He said I have contusions, 633 00:23:29,639 --> 00:23:31,773 lacerations and a little bit of brain damage. 634 00:23:31,798 --> 00:23:33,460 He says I'm lucky I still know how to breathe. 635 00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:37,289 Oh, but that beating did somehow raise my T levels, 636 00:23:37,314 --> 00:23:39,538 so, Granny, I did it the natural way. 637 00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:42,111 - Hey. - You're an inspiration. 638 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,241 Whoo! 639 00:23:44,266 --> 00:23:45,895 What an unforgettable night, huh, guys? 640 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:46,920 Oh, yeah. Let me guess. 641 00:23:46,945 --> 00:23:49,096 On the way to the hospital, you boned the ambulance driver. 642 00:23:49,121 --> 00:23:50,121 Close. 643 00:23:50,146 --> 00:23:52,296 You got to the hospital, and you boned the E.R. doctor. 644 00:23:52,321 --> 00:23:53,823 No. I made sweet love 645 00:23:53,848 --> 00:23:55,960 to the lady that rented me this scooter. 646 00:23:55,985 --> 00:23:57,127 Son of a bitch. 647 00:23:57,152 --> 00:23:58,218 And after the lovemaking, 648 00:23:58,243 --> 00:24:00,092 I found a buffalo nickel in the parking lot. 649 00:24:00,117 --> 00:24:01,331 How do you do it, huh, Cap? 650 00:24:01,484 --> 00:24:03,283 How does everything keep coming up roses for you? 651 00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:05,588 It's easy, my friend. I'm Eddie Penisi. 652 00:24:05,613 --> 00:24:06,756 ♪ Eddie ♪ 653 00:24:06,781 --> 00:24:08,248 Okay. That's it. 654 00:24:08,544 --> 00:24:09,544 What are you doing? 655 00:24:09,569 --> 00:24:11,897 You need a little humble pie, and I'm the guy to feed you. 656 00:24:11,946 --> 00:24:14,139 Are you threatening me? Do you know who I am? 657 00:24:14,164 --> 00:24:15,187 I know who you are. 658 00:24:15,212 --> 00:24:16,649 You're a guy whose luck just ran out. 659 00:24:16,748 --> 00:24:17,799 Come at me. 660 00:24:18,137 --> 00:24:19,848 My fist, your face, 661 00:24:19,876 --> 00:24:22,535 - a match made in heaven. - Ding, ding.