1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:02,667
- You guys are useless.
What are you even doing?
2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,402
- I'd like to see you
do something for once.
3
00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,538
- What, are you scared?
- All right, here we go.
4
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,540
- What's going on, shit face?
- Eat a dick, penisi.
5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,475
- Hey, check yourself,
polonsky.
6
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:13,278
- Check yourself, crystal.
- All right, all right.
7
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,413
Jerry.
- Terry.
8
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,748
- Nice to see you.
- You as well.
9
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,215
What brings you out?
10
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,883
- Looks like we have
a jurisdictional problem.
11
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:21,286
- Yeah, he wants us
to take care of these guys,
12
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:23,221
But they're his problem,
not ours.
13
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:24,222
- Drunks, huh?
- Yep.
14
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,557
- Looks like a police problem.
15
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,159
- Exactly.
- What's with the wet pants?
16
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:29,294
- The wet your pants
challenge, bitch!
17
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:30,763
[laughter]
- he called you a bitch!
18
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:32,431
[laughter]
- what's that supposed to mean?
19
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,767
- What, you never heard of it,
chief queef?
20
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:37,902
[chuckles]
step one, you piss your pants.
21
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:40,705
Step two, film it.
[laughs]
22
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,374
- It's a new
social media craze.
23
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,176
You piss yourself in an
unexpected place and film it.
24
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,644
All the influencers
are doing it.
25
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,312
- Kylie jenner
pissed her yoga pants
26
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,648
At london bridge last week.
Broke the internet.
27
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,916
- It was pretty dope.
- Have you done it?
28
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,718
- I'd rather not say.
29
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,189
- We wet ourselves five times
at the tacoma terriers game
30
00:00:57,324 --> 00:01:00,392
And three times just now.
[laughter]
31
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,060
- They are not getting
in my ambulance.
32
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,395
- Yeah, they are.
- Yeah, they are.
33
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,063
- Public intoxication,
graffiti,
34
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,598
Vandalism--take 'em to jail.
35
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:10,669
- Well, I'm sorry to have
to play this card, but...
36
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,537
Guys...
37
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:13,872
I'm gonna have
to take you to jail.
38
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:15,340
- Thank you.
39
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,209
- For doing
the wet your pants challenge?
40
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,544
Be cool, brah. Social meeds.
41
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,946
- Or you could tell
these firefighters
42
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,148
About your chest pain.
43
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,417
- I don't have chest pain.
44
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,085
- Or you can tell
these firefighters
45
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:29,554
About your chest pain,
and legally,
46
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,825
They have to take you to the er
instead of jail.
47
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,092
- No, no.
48
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:35,227
Both: We have chest pain!
49
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:36,561
Ah, my chest!
50
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,697
- Oh!
- Ow, my chest!
51
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,499
- Yeah!
- You heard it.
52
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:44,236
Chest pains,
or as I call it, incarceritis.
53
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,770
- No, no chance.
We're not taking these guys.
54
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,639
Absolutely not.
- Nope, he's right.
55
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,041
We gotta take 'em.
Load 'em up.
56
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,642
- Are you kidding me?
Come on.
57
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,444
- We have no choice.
Those are the rules.
58
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,446
Load 'em up.
- Chief.
59
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,248
- All right, granny.
- Cap.
60
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,649
- Might want to put on
a life jacket
61
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,451
For the waterworks.
[laughs]
62
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,386
- And by water, he means piss.
63
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,721
- Yeah.
- Oh, really?
64
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,390
- Wait, wait, wait,
take a video of me
65
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,926
Wetting myself
in the ambulance.
66
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,662
- No, I just cleaned
that ambulance out.
67
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,597
No.
- Hey, you mind? Just one.
68
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,132
- Come on.
- Want it vertical.
69
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,601
- Oh, shit.
- Ah, my phone's all wet!
70
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,071
[laughs]
- come on, let's go. Hurry up.
71
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,273
[both imitating sirens]
72
00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:24,276
[foreigner's "hot blooded"]
73
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:29,748
♪ ♪
74
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,617
- ♪ well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
75
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,220
♪ check it and see ♪
76
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:38,623
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
77
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,559
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
78
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,029
[slamming gavel]
79
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,364
- Hear ye, hear ye,
80
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,300
This kangaroo court
is now in session.
81
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,635
Let justice be served
for the crimes committed
82
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,438
Within these walls,
may they be real or perceived.
83
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,440
- Mm, good word, your honor.
84
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:56,909
- [chuckles]
thank you very much, bailiff.
85
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,444
- My first kangaroo court.
I'm a little nervous.
86
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,045
- Eh, don't worry
about it, probie.
87
00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,715
It's all in good fun.
Nobody takes it too seriously.
88
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,517
- Bailiff, you may call
the first case.
89
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,052
- All right, your honor,
the court of station 24
90
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,122
Recognizes lucy mcconky.
91
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,657
- Aha.
92
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:16,461
- Your honor,
theft is a heinous crime,
93
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,397
And no thievery is lower
94
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,199
Than firefighter
on firefighter theft.
95
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,667
- Mm.
- You can say that again.
96
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:23,736
- Deplorable.
97
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,070
- As someone who enjoys
looking "noice,"
98
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:29,474
I recently bought
a very expensive bottle
99
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:32,076
Of shampoo
to add extra body to my hair.
100
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:35,614
Someone in this station
has been stealing
101
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,882
That very expensive shampoo.
102
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,352
Your honor,
I bring before the court
103
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:44,823
The case of the people
versus ike crystal!
104
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,760
[dramatic music]
105
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,029
Both: Murmur, murmur,
murmur, murmur.
106
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,433
- Your honor, two weeks ago,
I bought this bottle
107
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,302
Of maurice pasqual
extra volumizing
108
00:03:57,304 --> 00:04:01,840
Ultra full body shampoo
for $189.99.
109
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:04,643
- $189? For shampoo?
110
00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,645
- May I remind you
that you're the judge right now
111
00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:08,647
And not my father?
- Yeah, but that's crazy.
112
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,048
- [chuckles]
- what's in that thing, gold?
113
00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:11,916
- Well, it's pretty common
for high-end shampoo
114
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,852
These days, your honor.
- Is that right, bailiff?
115
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,655
- Indeed, and that right there
is the low end of the high end.
116
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,191
- Shut the front door!
Maybe I am crazy.
117
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:20,925
- No, no, you're not crazy.
118
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,394
- Thank you for your
shampoo expertise, bailiff.
119
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,862
- Well, I appreciate
your appreciation
120
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,864
Of my expertise.
[both chuckle]
121
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,134
- As you might note,
the bottle is almost empty.
122
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,469
[bottle rattles]
123
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,204
- Inspect that, bailiff.
- Yes, sir.
124
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:33,806
[bottle rattles]
125
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,407
Yep, that's empty.
- I thought the same thing.
126
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:36,475
- Mm-hmm.
127
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:37,876
- Ike asked me to use it,
128
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,212
And I declined
given its lofty price.
129
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:44,416
Soon, the levels began to lower
and his hair became fluffier.
130
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,551
- Objection. Circumstantial.
131
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,620
- Sustained. Very good, ike.
132
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,355
That's good legalese.
- Yeah!
133
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,623
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur.
134
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,692
- Your honor,
I would like to call
135
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,427
To the stand an expert witness,
136
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,629
Andres mickleberry!
137
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,364
[upbeat rock music]
138
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,233
Mickleberry, are you familiar
139
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,435
With maurice pasqual
extra volumizing
140
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,969
Ultra full body shampoo?
141
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,572
- I am. My mom uses it.
It smells like home.
142
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,307
- Mickleberry,
will you smell ike's hair
143
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,775
And tell me
what it smells like?
144
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,444
- I don't think we need
to do that, your honor.
145
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,013
- I'll allow it.
- Mm.
146
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,916
- [sniffs deeply]
147
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,984
Ah, dios mío.
148
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,388
Maurice pasqual.
I'd bet my life on it.
149
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,590
- Objection!
Uh, speculation.
150
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,592
- He is an expert witness.
Overruled.
151
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,861
- [chuckles]
he is an expert.
152
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,395
- Yeah.
- Good call, your honor.
153
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,996
He had his nose in that thing
154
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,798
Like it was another dog's ass.
- [laughs]
155
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,268
- Yes, I think he could smell
what he was thinking.
156
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,603
[both laugh]
157
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:42,807
- And, your honor, I actually
saw ike use the shampoo.
158
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,809
- What?
- Murmur, murmur.
159
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,812
Both:
Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur.
160
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,681
- We were showering
after a call
161
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,816
When ike mentioned
his dry hair.
162
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:55,888
- Ugh, these fires make my hair
so thin and flat and dry!
163
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,022
Does that happen to you?
- Not really.
164
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,224
[bottle whistles]
165
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,426
- Thanks a lot, obama.
166
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,629
♪ ♪
167
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:08,633
Oh, hello, you.
[laughs]
168
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:09,768
- Ike, don't!
That's lucy's.
169
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,436
- Yeah, no shit it's lucy's.
170
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:13,638
Chick shampoo fucking rules.
171
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,039
- You shouldn't steal
from other people.
172
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,374
- It's fine.
Don't worry about it.
173
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,910
I do this all the time.
174
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,644
"ike, that's not yours.
That's lucy's."
175
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,780
Shut up, bro! God.
176
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,782
- I think that stuff
is really expensive.
177
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,450
- By the way, if you say
anything about this,
178
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,119
I'm gonna waste you, bro.
179
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,653
Snap, crackle, pop!
180
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,989
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
181
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,725
- Ugh, how do we know
he didn't do it?
182
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,393
He probably used it.
Look at his wavy, curly hair.
183
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,528
Look at how wavy it is.
- I have naturally curly hair.
184
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,531
- Your honor, we know
it wasn't mickleberry.
185
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,933
- And how do we know that?
186
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,400
- Because mickleberry
is allergic
187
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,402
To maurice pasqual shampoo!
188
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,604
- It's true.
189
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,139
I'm allergic
to the cleansing agent
190
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,275
In maurice pasqual,
cocamidopropyl betaine.
191
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,944
It irritates my skin.
192
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,979
Here's a note from my mother
stating such.
193
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:56,681
- Bailiff,
enter that into evidence.
194
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,817
- Entering to evidence,
your honor.
195
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,819
"my son is allergic
to the cleansing agent
196
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:04,823
"cocamidopropyl betaine
in maurice pasqual shampoo.
197
00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:07,960
Maria mickleberry."
looks legit, your honor.
198
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,361
- It does look legit.
199
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:10,895
All right.
[slams gavel]
200
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,898
This court is ready to rule.
- Judge ruling.
201
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:18,503
- I hereby find ike crystal
guilty of the crime of theft.
202
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,704
- What?
203
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:20,973
- I sentence you to reimburse
204
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:25,310
Lucy mcconky $189.99
using the cashmo app.
205
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,112
- Wait, whoa, whoa,
that's a lot of money!
206
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,114
- Furthermore,
upon recess of this court,
207
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,183
I order you to wash
that shampoo
208
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:34,519
Right out of your hair,
and I also ban you
209
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,454
From using
any volumizing shampoo
210
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,922
For one month.
- Yes.
211
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,724
- What?
I need to volumize.
212
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:40,859
I'm gonna look ridiculous.
213
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,527
[slams gavel]
- next case.
214
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:43,862
[alarm blaring]
- alarm, engine 24.
215
00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:46,064
Rescue 42,
respond to unknown odor.
216
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,001
- Okay, this court is adjourned
until the crew returns.
217
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,536
Thank you very much, everybody.
That was fun.
218
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,072
♪ ♪
219
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:55,140
[slamming gavel]
220
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,541
Hear ye, hear ye,
221
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,543
This kangaroo court
is back in session.
222
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,813
- Kangaroo court sucks.
- You suck.
223
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:02,147
- You suck.
- You suck.
224
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,149
- And the court
will now recognize
225
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,218
Captain edward penisi jr.
226
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,620
[smooth guitar riff]
- ♪ eddie ♪
227
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,355
- Your honor...
228
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:15,093
We can all agree that treason
is a most heinous crime.
229
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:17,229
- Oh, very heinous.
Isn't that right, bailiff?
230
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,497
- Most heinous crime I know.
231
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,098
- And if we sit by
232
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,900
While acts of treason
are committed,
233
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,969
Are we not ourselves traitors?
- We are traitors.
234
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,971
Isn't that right, bailiff?
- Dirty dogs.
235
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,041
- It is with this
weighing on my heart
236
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:33,311
That I accuse
chief terry mcconky of treason.
237
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,181
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, major murmur.
238
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,382
- What? How?
239
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,783
- I am accusing you
240
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,253
Of being friends
with the enemy,
241
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,055
Police captain jerry polonsky.
242
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,789
- Murmur, murmur.
- Oh, shit, murmur, murmur.
243
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,991
- Oh.
- Murmur, baby, murmur.
244
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:50,395
- That's ridiculous.
Me friends with polonsky?
245
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:51,663
I can't wait to hear this one.
246
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,131
- If it pleases the court,
247
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,934
The prosecution
will now present its case.
248
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,469
- It pleases the court.
Isn't that right, bailiff?
249
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,803
- Oh, from the rootie
to the tootie.
250
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,239
- This'll be good.
251
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,909
[slams gavel]
252
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,978
- Oh, ye, oh, ye.
Court is in session.
253
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,515
The honorable bailiff
granfield smith
254
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:10,982
Will now preside over the case
255
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,118
Of the people
versus terry mcconky.
256
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,052
Counselor.
257
00:09:14,188 --> 00:09:16,722
- Chief mcconky,
you stand accused
258
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:19,191
Of being friends
with captain jerry polonsky.
259
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:20,926
- Oh, boy,
this is gonna be a classic.
260
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,994
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, go ahead.
261
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,996
- Terry,
today I am going to prove
262
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,265
That the two of you have
a wealth of things in common,
263
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,536
And that that has lead you
to become secret close friends.
264
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,003
- [laughs]
come on.
265
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,139
He's a redhead.
They smell like mothballs.
266
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,473
I mean, give me a break.
267
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:36,542
Why would I be friends
with that?
268
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:37,809
- Mm-hmm, indeed.
269
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,077
The other day,
270
00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:40,879
When we greeted the cops
with insults
271
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,814
At the incarceritis imbroglio,
272
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:46,352
You not only greeted polonsky
with a very friendly,
273
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:50,088
"nice to see you,"
but you also sided with him
274
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,758
Against the tfd, did you not?
275
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,960
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
276
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,429
- Okay, that's what
this is about?
277
00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,164
Great. All right. Let's do it.
278
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,233
- Terry, would you state
for me the name
279
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:03,435
Of your favorite
country and western
280
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,903
Music recording artist please?
281
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,838
- Well, I think we all know
it's leigh weigh.
282
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,840
- And did you not attend
the leigh weigh concert
283
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,708
Last month on the 29th?
284
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,378
- You freaking know I did.
285
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,512
They closed with
"fresh cut grass
286
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:15,914
And a piece o' ass."
287
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,984
Nobody left.
- Your honor, exhibit a.
288
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,452
- Oh, great,
you're a tech guy now?
289
00:10:20,588 --> 00:10:23,121
- This photo was posted
to jerry polonsky's
290
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:26,658
Boi-oi-oing page the morning
after the leigh weigh concert.
291
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,727
- So what?
He's a weigh watcher.
292
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:29,928
Maybe I should be friends
with him.
293
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,397
- But hold on one second.
294
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,331
I think
you were there together.
295
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,866
[laughter]
296
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,734
- Oh, murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
297
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,136
- It's a good one.
- Whoo!
298
00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:39,738
- Yeah, I went straight
from work.
299
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,473
- Chief mcconky,
do you recall that,
300
00:10:41,609 --> 00:10:43,875
At our most recent
charity auction,
301
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,611
There were
two unclaimed tickets
302
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,413
To the bonney lake
arts & crafts fair?
303
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,681
- Can't say that I do.
- Hm, that's very interesting,
304
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,882
Considering that
those two tickets
305
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,350
Were pinned
to the bulletin board
306
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,685
Outside of your office
for some time
307
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,020
Until they went missing.
308
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,689
- Objection, your honor.
Who gives a shit?
309
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,357
[laughter]
310
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,827
- Counselor, you better be
going someplace with this.
311
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,228
- Oh, I am, your honor. I am.
312
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,897
Your honor, the bonney lake
arts & crafts fair
313
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,166
Was on Saturday the 2nd
of this month.
314
00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:11,369
Now, the night of the 2nd,
chief mcconky was caught
315
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:14,973
Running a red light camera
in the town of bonney lake.
316
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,108
- [gasps]
- oh.
317
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,844
- Murmur, murmur.
- Okay, so what?
318
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,312
- And how do you know this,
counselor?
319
00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:23,515
- I know this
because terry showed me
320
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:24,850
The red light ticket photo.
321
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:27,052
He thought it was funny.
- Big deal.
322
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,987
I think red light photo cameras
are funny.
323
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,722
- It's pretty funny.
- Yeah. See?
324
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,190
Everyone thinks they're funny.
325
00:11:32,326 --> 00:11:35,060
- The thing we never discussed
was the identity
326
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,130
Of this person
obscured in the photo
327
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,597
Sitting next to terry
in his car.
328
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,799
- It's probably vicky.
- You don't recall?
329
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,401
- Probably vicky.
330
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,070
- Lucy, what did terry tell you
about that ticket?
331
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,139
- He bragged about
how he pulled some strings
332
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,207
To get out of it.
- Oh.
333
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,277
Pulled some strings, did he?
Well, well, well.
334
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:55,413
It must be very easy
to get out of a traffic ticket
335
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,083
When the passenger in your car
is a police captain.
336
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,820
Both: Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
337
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,755
- Okay, this is stupid,
all right?
338
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,623
Now it's getting boring.
That was your best joke.
339
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,825
Let's move on now.
340
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,227
- Your honor,
I demand a retrial.
341
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:11,830
I was blatantly framed
for that shampoo crime.
342
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,098
I didn't do it.
- And if you were framed
343
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,901
For the shampoo,
why is your hair so flat now?
344
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,436
- I--stop.
I--
345
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,840
[sighs]
look, I request a short recess
346
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,441
So I can get
my case in order, please.
347
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,711
- Your case is over.
- But I'm innocent, I tell you!
348
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,713
I'm innocent! I was framed!
349
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,715
- Ike, I got the chief
on the ropes.
350
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,183
- What?
Whatever, "on the ropes."
351
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,851
[alarm blaring]
fresh alarm, engine 24...
352
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,119
- Okay, roll it out.
353
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,054
- We will resume
when we return.
354
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,989
- [laughs]
- oh, man.
355
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,457
Did you see his face
356
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:40,792
When you brought up
the red light ticket?
357
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,060
- Hysterical.
358
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:43,862
Terry has five minutes
of fun in him,
359
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,398
And then he gets cranky.
- And defensive.
360
00:12:46,534 --> 00:12:49,067
- Yeah, about me saying
he's friends with polonsky.
361
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,602
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
362
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,470
When we get back in there,
I am gonna hit him
363
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,340
With some really stupid stuff
just to piss him off.
364
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,808
- Who is in this photo?
- Probably vicky.
365
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,810
- It doesn't really
look like her.
366
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,146
I'ma text her.
367
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,815
"were you with dad in the car
368
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,951
When he got
the red light ticket?"
369
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,619
- It's gotta be her.
370
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,955
Who else would terry go
to an arts & crafts fair with?
371
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,223
- She said "what ticket?"
372
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,959
Guess it's not her.
[knock at door]
373
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:17,363
- Sorry, uh, you know I didn't
use the maurice pasqual, right?
374
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,898
- Yes, you did, ike.
- No, I didn't, lucy.
375
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,234
- You look like a scarecrow.
- Oh, come on.
376
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,569
Okay, maybe I used it once
377
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,504
Because my husky 3-in-1
men's body wash was out.
378
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,439
I used it one time,
379
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:29,107
But there's no way
I used that much.
380
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,442
That's impossible.
381
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:31,709
Somebody else
is using it, okay?
382
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:32,911
And it wasn't me, lucy,
383
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:33,979
So stop looking
at me like that.
384
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:35,513
It wasn't--you know what?
385
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,182
I'm gonna find out who,
and you can bet your ass
386
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,850
I'm gonna find out,
and we're gonna solve it.
387
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,786
- Mickleberry caught you
red-handed!
388
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,121
- Well, mickleberry is a liar!
389
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,790
- Guys, guys,
it's kangaroo court.
390
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:45,924
It's kangaroo court. Calm down.
391
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,325
- Cap, I'm calm,
392
00:13:47,461 --> 00:13:49,395
But I got robbed in there!
This is bullshit!
393
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,463
- Cap, can you kick him out
of our private lunch.
394
00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:53,198
- Did you guys go
to blobby's without me?
395
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,466
- Yeah, we did.
- Awesome.
396
00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:57,135
You know it's my favorite.
- [laughs]
397
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:58,870
[upbeat rock music]
398
00:13:58,872 --> 00:13:59,871
- Blobby's sucks!
399
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,473
♪ ♪
400
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:02,674
[slamming gavel]
- oh, ye!
401
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,610
Oh, ye, oh, ye, oh, ye!
402
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:06,077
We resume the case
403
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,745
Of the people
versus chief mcconky.
404
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,415
- Okay, eddie, are we gonna
keep going with this?
405
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,617
I thought we got all the laughs
out of it, hm?
406
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,351
- Oh, your honor, I would like
407
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,020
To call another witness
to the stand.
408
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,889
- Oh. Hey, sorry.
You guys having a meeting?
409
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,491
Well, what'd you want, lucy?
410
00:14:19,493 --> 00:14:23,695
- Your honor, the people call
viccolina penisi-mcconky.
411
00:14:23,831 --> 00:14:24,963
[dramatic musical sting]
412
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,499
- Oh, no,
not kangaroo court again
413
00:14:27,635 --> 00:14:29,501
- Mom, please,
just one quick question.
414
00:14:29,637 --> 00:14:31,637
- Yeah, but last time,
eddie accused terry
415
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,571
Of wearing spanx, and then--
416
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,173
Then he tricked me
into testifying.
417
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,174
I don't want to do that again.
418
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,643
- I don't wear spanx.
419
00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:38,977
- Okay, let's not
talk about it.
420
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,178
- It's super important.
421
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,313
- Five minutes, that's it.
422
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,115
- Mrs. Penisi-mcconky,
423
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,983
Thank you for taking time
out of your busy schedule
424
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,519
To accommodate us.
- Let's get to it, eddie.
425
00:14:47,655 --> 00:14:49,587
- Mrs. Penisi-mcconky,
426
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,990
Do you remember terry going
to the leigh weigh concert
427
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,459
Last month?
- Of course.
428
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,327
He's still singing
that "ass in the grass" song.
429
00:14:55,463 --> 00:14:58,396
- Honey, it's "fresh cut grass
and a piece o' ass."
430
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,998
- Yeah, you know what I mean.
431
00:15:00,134 --> 00:15:01,667
- I used to sing that song
to you when you rubbed my feet.
432
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,469
- We don't have
to tell everybody that.
433
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,271
- Do you remember with whom
terry went to the concert?
434
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,474
- Ike.
- Yeah?
435
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,275
Oh, me ike?
436
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,678
No, you're probably thinking
of a different guy named ike.
437
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,212
- I actually said mike.
438
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,681
Mike penkenten
from the treasurer's office.
439
00:15:15,816 --> 00:15:17,282
- No, you said ike.
440
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,685
- I specifically said mike.
Mike penkenten.
441
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,954
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- No, not--not now.
442
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,690
- Wait, terry,
did you lie to me?
443
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,624
- Are you kidding me?
Are you falling for this?
444
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,226
This is a joke.
445
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,963
- Vicky, is this you
in the car with terry?
446
00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:36,101
- No, this is a man, eddie.
- Indeed. Indeed.
447
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,635
- Terry, who did you go
to the concert with?
448
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:40,105
- Mike penkenten!
- Who is this in this picture?
449
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,373
- It's probably mike penkenten.
450
00:15:41,509 --> 00:15:42,974
- Mike penkenten
is not a white guy.
451
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,910
- Okay, joke's over.
Come on, all right?
452
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,444
Lookit--she's getting mad
at me now.
453
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:47,979
Are you happy?
- All right, counselor.
454
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,314
Where are you going with this?
455
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,183
- Your honor,
it is the prosecution's belief
456
00:15:51,185 --> 00:15:53,185
That terry mcconky is
secretly attending events
457
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,652
With jerry polonsky.
458
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,788
They went to the leigh weigh
concert together.
459
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,325
They went to the bonney lake
arts & crafts fair together,
460
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,660
And if you'd look at
these two photos side-by-side,
461
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,397
They reveal
that the mystery passenger
462
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:09,000
In terry's car is none other
than his open-mouthed friend
463
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,335
Jerry polonsky.
464
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,604
- Oh!
- Murmur, murmur.
465
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:13,805
- Murmur, murmur.
466
00:16:13,941 --> 00:16:15,207
- Vicky, this is a joke, okay?
467
00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:16,742
This is a joke, all right?
468
00:16:16,877 --> 00:16:20,011
- Your honor, the prosecution
brings to the stand
469
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:23,148
Police captain
gerald mcrainey polonsky.
470
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,416
- Yeah, right.
471
00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:26,752
He's actually here.
[chuckles]
472
00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:28,420
- The hell do you want, penisi?
473
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:29,621
You said there was a crime
being committed here.
474
00:16:29,757 --> 00:16:31,890
- There is--
the crime of treason,
475
00:16:31,892 --> 00:16:34,026
And terry mcconky is guilty!
476
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,895
All: Murmur, murmur, murmur,
murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur.
477
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:39,164
- Yeah, we don't arrest people
for treason.
478
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,467
You need to call the feds.
479
00:16:44,105 --> 00:16:45,504
[upbeat rock music]
480
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:48,573
- Jerry, would you consider
yourself to be friends
481
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:52,177
With terry mcconky?
- Us? Friends?
482
00:16:52,313 --> 00:16:54,245
I'd sooner eat a rat,
crap that out,
483
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,982
Eat that, crap that out,
feed that to another rat,
484
00:16:56,984 --> 00:16:58,850
And then eat that rat.
485
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,251
- Objection, your honor!
486
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,654
Super gross
and mildly confusing.
487
00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:04,189
- Sustained, ike,
but this isn't your case.
488
00:17:04,325 --> 00:17:05,524
You can't object.
489
00:17:05,659 --> 00:17:06,725
- Well, now that
I've got your attention,
490
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,527
Can I just tell you,
I'm innocent!
491
00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:10,529
I paid lucy a lot of money
for that shampoo.
492
00:17:10,664 --> 00:17:12,331
A lot of money!
- And there it is.
493
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,133
[cash register chimes]
thanks, ike.
494
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,002
- Jerry, who did you go to
the leigh weigh concert with?
495
00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:18,804
- Joe.
- I'm not falling for it.
496
00:17:18,939 --> 00:17:21,072
- Joe mama!
Ooh, ooh!
497
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,008
- Oh, joe mama.
That was awesome.
498
00:17:23,144 --> 00:17:24,943
Like, joe--joe mama.
499
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,412
It's like a knock-knock joke.
Forget it, man. Try to keep up.
500
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,280
- Were you in terry's car
501
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,282
The night he got
the red light camera ticket?
502
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,684
- No, that was probably
your mom.
503
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,686
- Oh, zing.
He got her twice in a row.
504
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,488
- Yeah.
- Man, he's vicious.
505
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,157
- I'm sorry, terry,
did you want to be friends?
506
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,359
Maybe our kids can date again
with the...
507
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,093
[singing, trilling]
508
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,895
- Okay.
- Hey.
509
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,697
- That's offensive.
- Her mother is here.
510
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,632
- Oh, my god.
511
00:17:47,768 --> 00:17:49,368
Uncle eddie,
you gotta see this.
512
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,371
[soft dramatic music]
513
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,638
♪ ♪
514
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,374
- [gasps]
515
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,176
- All right, cap,
can you wrap this up?
516
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:58,777
- Not just yet, your honor.
517
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:01,112
I call terry mcconky
back to the stand.
518
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,314
- Okay, eddie, joke's over.
All right? Really.
519
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,184
- Terry,
did you recently purchase
520
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,452
A wicker basket?
521
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,588
[dramatic musical sting]
522
00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:13,392
- I don't recall.
- Honey, yes, you did.
523
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:14,726
It's in the bathroom.
524
00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:16,195
It's holding
your boat magazines.
525
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,597
- Oh, thanks, honey.
526
00:18:18,732 --> 00:18:21,533
- Everyone,
this is lucy's cashmo app.
527
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,603
Note the top payment,
ike crystal to lucy mcconky.
528
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:27,606
Terry, are you aware
that cashmo allows you
529
00:18:27,741 --> 00:18:29,541
To view
your friends' transactions
530
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,276
As well as your own?
- How?
531
00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:32,811
- That's just
the way cashmo works.
532
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,214
- Everybody knows that.
- Why would they do that?
533
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,681
- Social media.
- It's not social media.
534
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,483
It's banking transactions.
535
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:42,754
- Terry, did you reimburse
jerry for a wicker basket?
536
00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:46,091
♪ ♪
537
00:18:46,093 --> 00:18:49,428
Did you or did you not
reimburse jerry polonsky
538
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,563
For a wicker basket
that you purchased
539
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:54,165
At the bonney lake
arts & crafts fair?
540
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,967
- Objection!
Your honor, objection.
541
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,037
- Overruled.
I want to hear this.
542
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,971
- If it pleases the court...
543
00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:02,373
♪ ♪
544
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,443
Everybody,
notice the bottom payment
545
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,977
From one month ago.
546
00:19:06,113 --> 00:19:07,779
♪ ♪
547
00:19:07,915 --> 00:19:10,715
[all gasp]
548
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,385
- Chief.
549
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,520
- Dad, was polonsky
in the car with you?
550
00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:18,323
- Terry, is that who you went
to the concert with?
551
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:21,927
- Terry, are you friends
with polonsky?
552
00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:23,662
- That's ridiculous!
553
00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:25,730
- No, I'm not friends
with polonsky.
554
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,999
- You are under oath.
- No, I'm not under oath.
555
00:19:28,135 --> 00:19:30,335
This is kangaroo court.
- Tell us the truth.
556
00:19:30,471 --> 00:19:32,537
- You want the truth?
- Yeah, I want the truth.
557
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:35,140
- You want the truth?
- Yeah, I want the truth!
558
00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,875
- I can't handle the truth.
- Yes.
559
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,677
Yes, I went
to the arts & crafts fair
560
00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:40,545
With polonsky!
561
00:19:40,681 --> 00:19:43,815
We called it our crafternoon,
and we got baskets,
562
00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:47,086
And we got dreamcatchers,
and we watched glassblowing,
563
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,420
And we had funnel cake,
and you know what?
564
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:52,557
We had a great time
because we're friends!
565
00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:55,360
- We are friends.
- There, I said it.
566
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:58,163
And I feel free now!
How's that?
567
00:19:58,299 --> 00:19:59,898
- How long
has this been going on?
568
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,101
- I ran into him
at the bert kreisher concert
569
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,435
In February.
570
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,837
We chatted. We laughed.
We hit it off.
571
00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:08,173
He's hysterical.
- He's hysterical.
572
00:20:08,175 --> 00:20:09,508
- Oh, and you know what?
573
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,910
I went to the leigh weigh
concert with him too,
574
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,512
But you'd know that
if you'd just looked
575
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,380
At your picture more closely.
576
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,049
My reflection
is in the sunglasses!
577
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,719
♪ ♪
578
00:20:20,854 --> 00:20:23,989
I had the time of my life.
579
00:20:23,991 --> 00:20:25,791
- Why have you been
keeping this from us?
580
00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:27,392
- He's a cop!
It's like "romeo and juliet."
581
00:20:27,528 --> 00:20:28,860
- With a dude every weekend?
- It's so weird.
582
00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:30,796
- Besides, you're not
supposed to make friends
583
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,597
Over 40 with random new people.
- Watching netflix by myself.
584
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:33,999
- Why is it any different?
- Nobody accepts it!
585
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:35,600
- This is crazy!
- You think I'm weird?
586
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:36,935
- There's a tradition
of the fire department
587
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,470
Hating the police.
- You guys have been
588
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:39,671
Coming at me forever!
589
00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:41,740
- Order!
Order in the courtroom!
590
00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:45,076
- And I don't wear spanx!
- Order! Order!
591
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:48,613
- [sniffing]
592
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:51,082
- Mom?
- [sniffs]
593
00:20:51,218 --> 00:20:53,618
Eddie, have you been using
594
00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:56,488
Maurice pasqual
extra volumizing
595
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:58,557
Ultra full body shampoo?
596
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,892
- What?
- Lucy uses it.
597
00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:03,094
- You were using it?
- No, it's not maurice pasqual.
598
00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:05,364
It's not maurice pasqual.
It's not maurice pasqual.
599
00:21:05,499 --> 00:21:06,565
- [sniffs]
I smell it
600
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,767
All over the place here.
Wow, you guys.
601
00:21:08,902 --> 00:21:10,502
[sniffing]
it's there. It's there.
602
00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:12,437
We got it--
- what are you, a bloodhound?
603
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,706
- [sniffing]
604
00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:17,576
Mickleberry, you too?
605
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:20,779
Terry, what are you
paying these guys?
606
00:21:20,914 --> 00:21:22,247
- What?
607
00:21:22,383 --> 00:21:23,849
You said
you were allergic, bro!
608
00:21:23,851 --> 00:21:26,385
- Okay, so what?
It makes my curls look awesome.
609
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,589
- You owe me $189.
You both owe me $189.99.
610
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:34,325
[laughs]
oh, baby, yes!
611
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:37,196
- Wait, what--ow.
- [sniffs]
612
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:40,932
I cannot believe this!
This is rampant collusion!
613
00:21:40,934 --> 00:21:42,801
- He's the ringleader.
He always has been.
614
00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:45,937
- Mickleberry did it!
[slamming gavel]
615
00:21:46,073 --> 00:21:47,940
- Order in my courtroom!
616
00:21:49,276 --> 00:21:52,343
Looks like I got a lot
of sentences to hand down.
617
00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:53,945
- And some to retract.
618
00:21:53,947 --> 00:21:57,482
- And I'm the only one
who's not a shampoo thief.
619
00:21:57,618 --> 00:21:59,551
Cap, you should be ashamed
of yourself.
620
00:21:59,553 --> 00:22:01,620
- Eh, I'm not sorry.
My hair's sweet.
621
00:22:01,755 --> 00:22:03,354
- I hope you go bald.
622
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:06,357
- Chief terry mcconky,
this court finds you guilty
623
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:10,429
Of secretly being friends
with captain jerry polonsky.
624
00:22:10,564 --> 00:22:13,698
We're gonna take a short recess
to figure out your punishment.
625
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:15,067
[slams gavel]
626
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,238
- Ooh, embroidered mushrooms.
Look at that.
627
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:20,639
- Hey.
- Huh?
628
00:22:20,774 --> 00:22:22,441
- You're a fun guy.
- [laughs]
629
00:22:22,576 --> 00:22:23,642
That's a good one.
- Thank you.
630
00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:25,510
- Oh, man.
Ooh, candles.
631
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,246
Look at this.
[laughs]
632
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,314
- I love fragrances.
633
00:22:29,316 --> 00:22:30,582
- Ah.
[sniffs]
634
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:31,650
Mm.
- Hit me.
635
00:22:31,785 --> 00:22:33,985
[sniffs]
sand and fog.
636
00:22:33,987 --> 00:22:36,521
I'd bet anything.
- Oh!
637
00:22:36,657 --> 00:22:38,189
Huh?
Nailed it.
638
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:40,725
- Hey, guys, wait up.
Check it out.
639
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:42,928
Dreamcatchers,
tons of 'em back there.
640
00:22:42,930 --> 00:22:43,929
- Sweet.
641
00:22:44,064 --> 00:22:45,797
- Also,
there's a booth back there
642
00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:48,267
With homemade sleep masks
with animal faces on 'em.
643
00:22:48,402 --> 00:22:51,603
I'm talking, like, owl eyes,
racoon eyes, and whatnot.
644
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:53,605
- Shut up.
- I've gotta get one of those.
645
00:22:53,607 --> 00:22:55,206
- Me too!
[laughter]
646
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:56,942
- I gotta tell you
something, eddie.
647
00:22:57,077 --> 00:22:58,677
When granny handed down
that sentence
648
00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:00,145
And said that you couldn't
use hair product
649
00:23:00,147 --> 00:23:01,880
And that we should spend
the day together
650
00:23:02,015 --> 00:23:03,882
At the arts & crafts fair,
I thought it was a punishment,
651
00:23:04,017 --> 00:23:06,084
But your hair looks great,
and this has been a lot of fun.
652
00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,218
- It really has.
653
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,820
I have to be honest.
654
00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,422
I didn't think I could hang out
with a cop,
655
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,023
Specifically this cop.
656
00:23:12,159 --> 00:23:14,559
- You.
- But this has been terrific.
657
00:23:14,695 --> 00:23:16,495
- Really terrific.
[chuckles]
658
00:23:16,630 --> 00:23:18,297
Hey, homemade bookmarks.
659
00:23:18,432 --> 00:23:19,698
- What?
- You guys read?
660
00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:20,966
- Of course.
- Okay, okay, hold on.
661
00:23:21,102 --> 00:23:22,834
I'll get some.
- I'll catch up with you.
662
00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:24,369
- Hey, anyway,
I wanted to thank you
663
00:23:24,505 --> 00:23:26,905
For being so cool about
terry and I being friends,
664
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,907
And who knows, maybe one day,
the three of us,
665
00:23:29,042 --> 00:23:31,110
Maybe we'll be a trio.
[chuckles]
666
00:23:31,244 --> 00:23:33,112
- Not on your life.
667
00:23:33,246 --> 00:23:36,648
I'm gonna bide my time
like a lion in tall grass,
668
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:38,717
And then poof,
I'm gonna eat you,
669
00:23:38,852 --> 00:23:41,920
Bones and all,
and you're gonna be gone,
670
00:23:42,055 --> 00:23:44,790
And no one will ever miss you.
671
00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:47,159
Hey, terry, wait up!
I love bookmarks!
672
00:23:49,130 --> 00:23:50,996
- That's not a very nice thing
to say to somebody.
673
00:23:51,132 --> 00:23:52,731
- Here, let's come back here.
Let's come--
674
00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:53,932
There's something
I want to show you down here.
675
00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:55,134
- Yeah.
- The dreamcatchers.
676
00:23:55,268 --> 00:23:56,868
- Oh, where are
the dreamcatchers?
677
00:23:57,004 --> 00:23:58,337
- They're right back here.
- Oh, great, okay.
678
00:23:58,471 --> 00:23:59,404
Should we get jerry or--
679
00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:01,173
- Nah, nah, nah. He'll be fine.