1 00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:13,077 - Oh, man. 2 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,013 Another valentine's day ruined. 3 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,950 - Uh, my money's on somebody's dick stuck in something. 4 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,818 - Or something stuck in some girl's yoo-hoo. 5 00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:21,754 - I'm going with two people stuck together. 6 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,221 - Ew, how's that happen? 7 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,356 - Four years ago, two guys 8 00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:25,757 With a chinese finger trap. 9 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,826 Jaws of life. You do the math. 10 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,093 - Nah. 11 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:29,962 - Man, wait. 12 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:31,296 - Huh? 13 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,897 All right. 14 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,032 [laughs] - aww. 15 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,634 - Hey, man, remember to knock. 16 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,235 - I know. 17 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,971 Tacoma fd! 18 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,974 - Yes! Please, come in. 19 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,509 - Oh. 20 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,444 - Thank god. Get me down. 21 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,513 - We can't stop the fan because my idiot husband 22 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,315 Lost the remote. - I didn't lose it. 23 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:51,449 You lost it. 24 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:52,584 - Don't even try to blame me. 25 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,253 You can't keep track of anything. 26 00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:57,990 [light music] 27 00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,124 - Well, there you go. 28 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:00,258 - [laughs] - uh-oh. 29 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,327 - Oh, hello. - Whoa. 30 00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:03,462 - Could somebody get me down? 31 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,797 I really have to pee. 32 00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:06,531 - Why don't you just go in the cupid diaper? 33 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,801 - Wow, great idea. 34 00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:11,069 [moaning in relief] 35 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,071 - Oh. 36 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,072 - Oh! [laughs] 37 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,474 I found the remote. 38 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,809 I mean, I think this is it. 39 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,678 [fan whirring] - whoa. 40 00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:21,880 Whoa, whoa. 41 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:22,815 [both groan] 42 00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,349 - Oh, my pelvis. 43 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:25,750 - My ribs. 44 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,419 - Well, the things we do for love. 45 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,754 Happy valentine's day, everyone. 46 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,490 - Happy valentine's day, cap. 47 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,758 Let's get you undone here. Are you all right, sir? 48 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:36,961 [foreigner's "hot blooded"] 49 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:42,300 ♪ ♪ 50 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,237 - ♪ well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 51 00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,506 ♪ check it and see ♪ 52 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:51,510 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 53 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,413 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 54 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,916 - Four letter word for galactic princess. 55 00:01:58,052 --> 00:02:00,385 - Leia? - Leia, what's that from? 56 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,786 - "star wars." - never heard of it. 57 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,589 - Whoo--ee. Boy, I love valentine's day. 58 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,925 Best day of the year. - I don't know about that, cap. 59 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,527 I'm kind of bummed that I'm missin' it at the club. 60 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,663 This is a huge money day for us. 61 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,731 - Don't you always get injured at the club on valentine's day? 62 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,599 - I mean, yeah, there's some unwanted yanking 63 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,468 And scratching and the odd donkey punch, 64 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,670 But it's just a massive tip day for us. 65 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,338 - Massive tips? - Massive tips, yeah. 66 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,407 We work mainly on tips. - I just didn't--I didn't know 67 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,076 If I heard you right. - No, massive tits are there, 68 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,878 But that's Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights. 69 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,546 - Damn, cap. How many valentine's day cards 70 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,748 You sendin' out? - Ah, just eight. 71 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,750 These cards'll go out with the chocolates and the lingerie, 72 00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:33,485 Which is really just a gift for myself. 73 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,953 And tacomagnolias just delivered 74 00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:37,289 My personally designed flower baskets, 75 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:38,490 The eddie penisi special, 76 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,226 Which have a 112% success rate. 77 00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,295 - Wait, how do you have 112% success rate? 78 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,365 - 'cause sometimes the florist falls in love with me too. 79 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,300 - Damn. - Oh, brother. 80 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:49,701 - Honestly, that sounds exhausting. 81 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,770 - You mean exhilarating, lucy. 82 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:54,706 Valentine's day is the best holiday of the year. 83 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,708 You've got love. You've got romance. 84 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,643 You get to woo people. - Wait. 85 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,445 Aren't you dating marnie from dispatch? 86 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,380 - No, that was last year. Now I'm dating gigi 87 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,583 From dispatch, but we have an open relationship. 88 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,385 - Which is code for "I'm cheating." 89 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,653 - No, I'm not cheating. It's fine. 90 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,255 - Another delivery for lucy. 91 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:11,256 - Oh, uh, throw it on the pile, 92 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,857 But I'll take the card. 93 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,259 - Why are you bending the card? - 'cause last year, 94 00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,728 I accidentally threw out a couple gift cards, 95 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,462 And I don't wanna make that mistake again. 96 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,331 - Hey, everyone. - Vicky. 97 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:20,999 - What's up? How's it going? - Yo, yo. 98 00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:22,467 - How's it goin' here? - What up? 99 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,936 - Hi, vic. - Mr. Mcconky, 100 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:24,869 You forgot this. 101 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,605 - Thank you, mrs. Mcconky. 102 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,406 - All right, well, see you later. 103 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,208 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 104 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,676 That's it? No kiss? 105 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,011 No "happy valentine's day"? 106 00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:34,212 It's valentine's day. 107 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,414 - Eddie, valentine's day is 108 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,815 To relationships what st. Patrick's day is 109 00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:38,883 To drinking. It's amateur hour. 110 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,353 - Okay, so you're saying you guys are romantic 111 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,955 When it's not valentine's day? 112 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,157 - What we're saying is that we don't need 113 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,091 All of this holiday fluff. 114 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:49,361 - You guys don't get each other valentine's day gifts? 115 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:50,629 - Yeah, actually a couple years ago, 116 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,564 I got her a silicone mixing spoon, 117 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:53,832 But that was really a gift for myself. 118 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,168 [laughs] - a silicone mixing spoon 119 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,435 For valentine's day? 120 00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,971 What is wrong with you? - No, no. 121 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,905 You should see this thing scoop mashed potatoes. 122 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,641 It's unbelievable. They don't stick. 123 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,108 - Oh, they don't stick. - They don't stick. 124 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,644 - It's a great spoon. - It'll never melt. 125 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,512 - Oh, my god, vicky, if ever there was proof 126 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,381 That you were adopted, this is it. 127 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:11,784 What kind of a penisi doesn't like valentine's day? 128 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,452 - You know what, we've been together for decades, okay? 129 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,654 Why don't you try staying married 130 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,055 For more than six months, 131 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,256 And then we'll talk? 132 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,392 All: Oh! - That's a burn. 133 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,394 How 'bout some aloe for that burn? 134 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,262 - No, it's not a burn. It's sad. 135 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,599 - Now I'm gonna go, but first, watch this, eddie. 136 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,601 Oh, see? What do you think about that? 137 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:30,669 - I feel pity for you. 138 00:04:30,805 --> 00:04:32,537 - I pity you. Bye. 139 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,339 - Bye. - Bye, vic. 140 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,008 - Delivery for lucy mcconky. 141 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,275 - Mickleberry. 142 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,877 - You can give that to me. 143 00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:40,813 - Go get 'em, probie. - Hey, chief, look. 144 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,948 Ed sheeran got a perm. [laughs] 145 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,152 - Who was that from? - Don't know, don't care. 146 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,754 - Jeez, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 147 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,356 - What does that mean? - What it means is, 148 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,692 Lucy has grown up watching your boring romance, 149 00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:56,294 Or, as I like to call it, a "no-mance." 150 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,230 She's never seen real romance in her life. 151 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,565 - It's so true. She doesn't know how to respond 152 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,367 To all of this. - Okay, stay out of this. 153 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,635 It's not my fault. 154 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,903 - Well, she doesn't like valentine's day, 155 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,104 And she hates public displays 156 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,972 Of affection. - It's true, chiefy. 157 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,509 Because of you, lucy will never experience 158 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,110 The excitement of courtly love. 159 00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:14,646 - Hey, keep kurt cobain's wife out of this. 160 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,048 [laughs] [alarm blares] 161 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,782 - Okay. - Engine 24, rescue at-- 162 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,518 - That's on you, chiefy. 163 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:20,985 - That's ridiculous. 164 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,587 It's not on me. - Yeah, it's on you. 165 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,456 - Ridiculous. 166 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,459 [upbeat rock music] 167 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:31,329 ♪ ♪ 168 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,265 - I'm crusty, but also sticky, 169 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,533 Like a crème brûlée. 170 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,134 - So tell me, how is it that not one 171 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,936 Of those workers that fell into that giant vat 172 00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:39,538 Of egg yolks knew how to swim? 173 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,739 - More importantly, 174 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,006 That cake factory was way out 175 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,542 Of our response area. 176 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,544 Why would dispatch send us? - Right? 177 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,612 - Seriously, why is gigi sending us on calls 178 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:48,747 That aren't even in our district? 179 00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:50,148 - Come on, guys. It's a routine call. 180 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,683 Let's stop whining. - Well, that's easy 181 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:52,751 For you to say. 182 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:53,752 You didn't have to jump 183 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,087 Into a vat of egg yolks. 184 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,154 - Well, I'm the captain. 185 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,355 One day, when you're the captain, 186 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,623 You can delegate too. 187 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,358 In the meantime, hit the showers. 188 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,027 You guys are disgusting. 189 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,029 ♪ ♪ 190 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,765 - Last one is a rotten egg. 191 00:06:06,901 --> 00:06:08,033 - That's funny. 192 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,105 [faint upbeat music] 193 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,974 ♪ ♪ 194 00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,576 - [grunts] 195 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,579 [jason akana's "in your skies"] 196 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:24,516 ♪ ♪ 197 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,652 - ♪ so glad that we are here ♪ 198 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:30,122 - Shh. - What, what, what? 199 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,123 Oh. 200 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,657 ♪ ♪ 201 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,727 - ♪ take a ride and hold on ♪ 202 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:35,994 - Gotta give it to the guy. 203 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,596 It's a strong move. - Totally. 204 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,531 "say anything" used to be my go-to movie 205 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,199 With the ladies. - I love that movie. 206 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,535 - ♪ want this moment to ♪ 207 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,804 - Oh, oh. 208 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,607 - ♪ I'll go anywhere ♪ 209 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,543 ♪ do anything with you ♪ 210 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,946 ♪ ♪ 211 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,748 ♪ to the moon and back ♪ 212 00:06:56,883 --> 00:07:03,288 ♪ back again with you ♪ 213 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,689 - Oh. 214 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:08,093 - You said it, dad. Amateur hour. 215 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,494 - It is on me. 216 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,163 I've ruined my daughter. 217 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:13,065 - I told you. 218 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,771 - Vicky, we need to talk. 219 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,172 [alarm blaring] 220 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,174 - Station 24, fire in progress 221 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,175 At frost park. 222 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,709 Please respond. 223 00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,711 - Whoa, whoa. Frost park? 224 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:27,912 That's station 1, isn't it? 225 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,314 What the hell is gigi doin'? 226 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,583 - I picked this call for you, eddie. 227 00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,785 - Did you do something to her? 228 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,186 - Not really. - Not really? 229 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,920 - I broke up with her. - When? 230 00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,656 - This morning. - Wait, you broke up 231 00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,792 With dispatch on valentine's day, cap? 232 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,059 - Not a big deal. - Did you use 233 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,394 Your a game breakup? 234 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,928 - No, more like my c game. 235 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:46,999 - C g--that's not enough game, cap! Come on! 236 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,067 - What's everybody getting all worked up about? 237 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,669 - A dozen port-a-potties are on fire 238 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,870 At the chili festival. 239 00:07:52,006 --> 00:07:53,806 Eddie, it'll smell just like 240 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:57,209 The rotting excrement you call a soul. 241 00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:01,880 This is gonna be the worst valentine's day of your life. 242 00:08:02,016 --> 00:08:04,016 - Sounds like it's gonna be the worst valentine's day 243 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,017 Of all of our lives. 244 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,618 - Thanks a lot, uncle eddie. 245 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,687 - Ah, come on. Load it up. 246 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,527 [upbeat rock music] 247 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,862 - [groans] 248 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,865 - [scatting] 249 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,001 - Hey, man. We're sufferin' because 250 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,603 Of what you did to gigi. - What did I do? 251 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,406 - You broke up with her on valentine's day. 252 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:29,007 - Why does the day matter? 253 00:08:29,143 --> 00:08:30,743 I didn't wanna date her anymore, so I ended things. 254 00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,477 It's very simple. - You could've waited a day. 255 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,012 - You're saying you wanted me to lie to her, 256 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,347 Lead her on through the holiday, 257 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,015 Have sex with her all night, and then 258 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,216 Break up with her in the morning? 259 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,751 - Okay, I don't think any of us 260 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,420 Factored in the sex part. 261 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:42,687 - Ike, it's valentine's day. 262 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,156 - I know, cap. It's just... 263 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,291 It's really frustrating. - Oh, come on, cap. 264 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,892 You dumped her just so you could go do 265 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,361 Your whole valentine's day thing. 266 00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:50,963 Just this morning, you were gloating 267 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,965 About raw-doggin' it and flower baskets 268 00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,767 And open relationships. 269 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,434 - Well, that was after we broke up. 270 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,236 I thought it was best to hit the ground running. 271 00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,371 - Well, now you have to get back together with her. 272 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,640 - [laughs] no, no, no, no. 273 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,308 She'll get over it. It's okay. - That's easy 274 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,843 For you to say, cap. You're not the one covered 275 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,311 In blue stuff and chili shit. 276 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,313 - Chili shit. - Chili shit. 277 00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,248 - Okay, guys, just relax. 278 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,184 This will pass. Everything's gonna be fine. 279 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,718 [phone vibrates] oh, hold on. 280 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,587 - Are you kidding right now? - [laughs] 281 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,122 Hey, cha cha ramirez just got her chocolate basket. 282 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,858 Looks like I could be doing the cha-cha tonight. 283 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:23,128 Excuse me, guys. 284 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,129 - Despicable. - We gotta take matters 285 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,731 Into our own hands. 286 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,000 - The guy did the "say anything" 287 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,135 Boom box routine, and she shut him down. 288 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,536 - Okay, that movie came out 289 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,005 When we were in middle school. 290 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,873 She's probably never even seen it. 291 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,208 - Everyone knows that movie. 292 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:39,077 - [scoffs] 'cause it's cheesy. 293 00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:40,679 - [laughing nervously] totally, that's what I was gonna say. 294 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,880 Totally. It's cheesy. 295 00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:44,216 - Terry, were you gonna say it's cool? 296 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:47,219 - "say anything"? [laughing] come on. Really? 297 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,554 "say anything"? No, no, no. 298 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,757 What I was gonna say was, maybe she hasn't seen it 299 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,693 Because she doesn't watch rom-coms. 300 00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:56,094 - Oh. - I checked 301 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,362 Her netflix history. - How do you have 302 00:09:57,498 --> 00:09:58,363 Her netflix account? 303 00:09:58,499 --> 00:09:59,964 - She's still on ours. - [sighs] 304 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:00,965 We really have to cut her off. 305 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,234 - Here's what I've discovered. 306 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,636 - Okay. - "manufacturing a killer," 307 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,238 "the boioioing bandit," 308 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,440 "the world's most dangerous brothels," 309 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,375 "'empanyada' kings of argentina." 310 00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:11,976 - First of all, it's "empanada." 311 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,111 - That's what I said, "empanyada." 312 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,446 - Empanada. - "empanyada." 313 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,581 - Second of all, who cares? 314 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,116 So she likes docuseries. 315 00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:19,852 - There's not one rom-com in there. 316 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,787 - And? - Girls love rom-coms. 317 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,057 - [growls] that is so sexist. 318 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,458 - You love rom-coms. - What? 319 00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,660 - I checked your history. - No, you have not. 320 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,928 Don't. [gasps] - huh? 321 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,329 - Terry. - Look. 322 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,132 Huh? "the queen without affection," 323 00:10:34,268 --> 00:10:36,334 "the suffragette who never got touched," 324 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,136 "12 years without tenderness." - uh-huh. 325 00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:40,672 - "the unromanced handmaid," all period pieces. 326 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,541 - I like period pieces, okay? 327 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,142 They are classy. 328 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,411 You know what? I wanna take a gander at yours. 329 00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:48,280 - Go ahead. I got nothing to hide. 330 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:51,216 - "expendables," one, two, three, and four, 331 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:54,018 "rocky" one, two, three, four, and five. 332 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,221 - Five is the best one. - "first blood," 333 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,489 "rambo: First blood part ii," 334 00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:00,559 "rambo iii," "rambo iv: Last blood." 335 00:11:00,561 --> 00:11:03,562 [scoffs] this is all sylvester stallone, 336 00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:05,964 Except for "guardians of the galaxy 2." 337 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,566 - Uh, he's in that one also. 338 00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,568 - Okay, you know what? 339 00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:11,236 What have we learned from this exercise? 340 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,971 - That we all watch netflix alone? 341 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,839 - Besides that. - There are a stack 342 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,710 Of valentine's cards out there that she's not responding to. 343 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,312 We have set a bad example for lucy. 344 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,715 - You know what, terry? You're right. 345 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,516 You're right. We're the parents. 346 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,919 It's up to us. We gotta make our daughter 347 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:30,122 Believe in romance. 348 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,056 [line trilling] - [shushing] stop it. 349 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,260 First of all, I'm doing it, so everybody shut up. 350 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,062 - Tacomagnolias, how may I help? 351 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,197 - [as eddie] yeah, this is, uh, eddie penisi. 352 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:42,267 Uh, with whom am I, uh, speakin'? 353 00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,603 - Hi, eddie. This is amber. 354 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:48,072 - [as eddie] hey, uh, "amb-uh," how youse doin'? 355 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,142 Uh, I was wonderin' if I could order one more 356 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:53,278 Of those eddie penisi special flower arrangements... 357 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,813 [squeakily] delivered today. 358 00:11:54,949 --> 00:11:56,214 - [whispering] that sucks so bad. 359 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,549 She's not gonna buy that. - Do you mean 360 00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,752 The eddie penisi "special" special? 361 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,620 - I think so. 362 00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,388 Oh! 363 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,159 - Okay, you have the eddie penisi "special" special 364 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:10,362 On standby for the special lady of the day. 365 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,697 - [as eddie] yeah, she's special-special. 366 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:15,768 Send to gigi bonano, tfd dispatch, 367 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:19,371 45 florida avenue, 93453. 368 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,774 Put a rush on that, and throw in a few flowers 369 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,175 For yourself, amber. 370 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,576 You're prettier than the sun settin' 371 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:27,179 On a waterfall in springtime. - [laughs] 372 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,314 - Oh, thanks, eddie. 373 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,516 I'm around this weekend if you wanna hang out. 374 00:12:31,652 --> 00:12:33,986 - Yeah, sure. Why not? 375 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,387 [as himself] what just happened? 376 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,990 - "prettier than a waterfall." [laughs] 377 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,192 - Penisi was flowing through you, man. 378 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,126 - I know. I could feel him enter me 379 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,328 And then leave. 380 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,663 - Ugh. - Yeah, that's gross. 381 00:12:44,665 --> 00:12:46,731 - Well--what, what? Why? 382 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,468 - Do you know why st. Valentine got a day named after him? 383 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,804 - I think he chased the prostitutes outta ireland 384 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:52,937 Or something. I don't know. 385 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,272 I get my holidays mixed up. 386 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,740 - Hey-o. Whatcha doing? 387 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,276 - Oh, just playing chess, talking about prostitutes. 388 00:12:58,412 --> 00:13:00,945 - Oh, cool, cool, cool. Sounds educational. [chuckles] 389 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:01,946 - Oh, hey, guys. 390 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:02,947 How's it goin'? 391 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,083 H--hi, my love. 392 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,284 - Look at my gorgeous girl. 393 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:10,955 - Oh, come here. Both: Mmm. 394 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:11,956 - Whew. - Whoa. 395 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,558 Both: Mwah. 396 00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,027 - [exhales dramatically] 397 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,029 Whoa. - Oh, hey. 398 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,563 Did I forget my phone again? 399 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,498 - No, no. 400 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,099 Yeah, I left this morning and I was, 401 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,901 Uh--I was thinking about what eddie said, 402 00:13:23,037 --> 00:13:24,436 And I--I was like, "you know what? 403 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:28,773 "we have been discreet about our love, but why? 404 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:32,177 "this is the valentine's day that we show everyone 405 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,779 Just how romantic we are." 406 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,114 - [groans] mm. 407 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,450 Both: Mmm. 408 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,719 - Why are they looking at us? 409 00:13:40,721 --> 00:13:42,921 - [laughs] oh, speaking of that... 410 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:43,856 - Mm-hmm? - I got you 411 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,123 A very special gift. 412 00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:46,725 - What is happening? 413 00:13:46,727 --> 00:13:48,260 - On this valentine's day... - Uh-huh. 414 00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,195 - I wanted to get something for your mother 415 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,663 To show her that I love her. 416 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,131 - Oh. 417 00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,466 Terry. [gasps] 418 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,601 That is just... [gasps] 419 00:13:56,737 --> 00:13:58,871 Beautiful. Oh, wow. Look. 420 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,004 [clears throat] 421 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,339 Wait, is this silver? 422 00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:03,341 - Uh, yeah, yeah. Why, what's wrong with silver? 423 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,009 - [laughs] - mom's allergic to silver. 424 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,344 How do you not know that, dad? 425 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,746 - Hmm. - You know what? 426 00:14:07,748 --> 00:14:09,748 That's--that's okay. Okay? 427 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,950 That's all right, honey. I'm just gonna tough this out. 428 00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:13,685 Okay? 'cause that's-- 429 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,888 That's just a little itchy wrist and... 430 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,289 [sniffles] a rash is starting too, 431 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,691 But that is just a small price to pay 432 00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,093 For romance. - Right? 433 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,428 - And you know what? I got you something too. 434 00:14:23,564 --> 00:14:25,029 - A gift for me? - Uh-huh. 435 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,432 A token of my love... 436 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,234 On valentine's day. 437 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,703 - Chocolates? - Mm-hmm. 438 00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,637 - [laughs] I love chocolates. 439 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,506 - Of course you do. [both laugh] 440 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,408 - May I? - By all means. 441 00:14:38,779 --> 00:14:40,245 - Oh, yeah. There it is. 442 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,314 Mm-hmm. - [laughing] oh. 443 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,116 - Mm. 444 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,118 - [clears throat] this a caramel? 445 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,319 - Yeah, what's wrong with caramel? 446 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,787 - Dad hates caramel. - Yeah. 447 00:14:48,923 --> 00:14:50,789 - He hates nougat. - Oh, no. I love nougat. 448 00:14:50,925 --> 00:14:53,592 [laughs] I can't believe you forgot that I hate caramel. 449 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,193 We've talked about it for many years. 450 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,394 - Well, I can't believe that you forgot 451 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,731 That I'm allergic to silver. 452 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,265 - Well, I'm sorry I forget 453 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,600 Which shiny metals you're allergic to. 454 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,135 - We've been married a really long time, 455 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,336 And you should know that by now. 456 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,138 - And I have had exactly zero caramels 457 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,139 In that long time. 458 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:08,273 - You wanna go roll hoses? 459 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,474 - Yeah, whatever. - Mm-kay. 460 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,809 - Okay, guys. - Yeah. 461 00:15:10,945 --> 00:15:12,076 - All right. - Okay. 462 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:15,147 - [clears throat] 463 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,415 - Take care. 464 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,751 - That could not have gone worse. 465 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:21,286 - I think I did very well. - You think you... 466 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,554 Look at my arm. - What's wrong with your arm? 467 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,156 - It's itchy. - Oh, suck it up. 468 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,490 - I can't move it. - Are you kidding me? 469 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:26,692 - Take it off. - God. 470 00:15:28,963 --> 00:15:30,362 - Delivery for eddie penisi. 471 00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,697 - Yeah, that's me. - It's from gigi bonano. 472 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:35,033 You sent it, but she returned it. 473 00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:36,368 - I didn't send this to her. 474 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,303 - Yeah, neither did we. 475 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,238 Come on, bro. Get it right. 476 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,506 - Did you guys send this to gigi? 477 00:15:41,642 --> 00:15:42,841 - Huh? - No, man. 478 00:15:42,977 --> 00:15:44,242 Prince harry was fucking lyin'. 479 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,110 - Cap, yeah. You can't trust that guy. 480 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,112 - Mickleberry? 481 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,513 - It was them. - Mick! 482 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,114 That was going perfectly. 483 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,449 - You idiots. 484 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:55,520 This is the eddie penisi "special" special. 485 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,921 It's a morning-after basket 486 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,657 For the special lady that just spent the night. 487 00:15:58,793 --> 00:16:01,393 Look, electrolyte recovery drink, 488 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,061 Morning-after pill. There's some chocolate 489 00:16:03,197 --> 00:16:06,264 In case she feels sad or happy, and most importantly, 490 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,866 A signed eddie penisi 8x10. 491 00:16:08,002 --> 00:16:10,068 "you're one in a million" to make 'em feel unique. 492 00:16:10,204 --> 00:16:12,671 - Station 24, we have a rotting cow carcass 493 00:16:12,807 --> 00:16:14,807 Stuck in a sewage overflow drainage pipe. 494 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:21,079 Please respond, and thanks for the whore basket, eddie. 495 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,015 - One, two, three, toilet duty. 496 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:26,018 [light music] 497 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,619 ♪ ♪ 498 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:30,222 Okay, just to show you guys I'm a team player, 499 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,556 I'm gonna handle this one. 500 00:16:31,692 --> 00:16:33,225 - Gee, thanks. - Awesome. 501 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,260 [saw buzzing] 502 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:45,704 - Come on! [all grumbling] 503 00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:47,639 - Stop! [all yelling] 504 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,374 - Oh, I'm lactose intolerant! 505 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,975 No, don't! It's getting on me! 506 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,577 - Aah! 507 00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:54,246 - Gross! 508 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,780 - Ugh, come on. 509 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,716 Did you have to cut through the udder? 510 00:16:57,852 --> 00:16:59,918 - Yeah, it's a cow. - [coughing] 511 00:17:00,054 --> 00:17:01,253 - [gags] 512 00:17:04,825 --> 00:17:07,692 [upbeat music] 513 00:17:07,828 --> 00:17:09,694 - [sighs] 514 00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:14,032 ♪ ♪ 515 00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:15,634 I don't know what's worse, the cow, 516 00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:18,102 The overturned orange juice truck with extra pulp, 517 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,839 Or the human hair dumpster fire at the barbershop. 518 00:17:20,975 --> 00:17:24,042 - Now I'ma have nightmares about burnt human hair smell. 519 00:17:24,178 --> 00:17:25,510 - You gotta fix this, cap. 520 00:17:25,646 --> 00:17:26,979 - Have you tried being honest with her? 521 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,313 - That's what started all this. 522 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,782 - Well, maybe it's time to lie. 523 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,717 - No, I am not lying, and lemme just remind you guys 524 00:17:32,853 --> 00:17:34,519 That all those calls were real calls 525 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:35,587 From people in need. 526 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,189 I suggest all of you get cleaned up 527 00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,992 Before the next call comes in. 528 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,726 - First shower! 529 00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:47,666 ♪ ♪ 530 00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:49,133 - [as eddie] hey, uh, dispatch. 531 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:50,268 This is eddie penisi, 532 00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:54,072 And I'd like to speak to gigi bonano. 533 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:56,541 Kid, work your magic. 534 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,010 - I don't think it's very romantic when we go out 535 00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:00,545 To dinner and you ride me for eating too much bread. 536 00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,347 - You tell me to do that. 537 00:18:02,483 --> 00:18:03,548 [as terry] don't let me eat any bread. 538 00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:04,949 It ruins my appetite. 539 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,351 [grumbling] 540 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,486 - Well, your tone could be nicer. 541 00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:09,087 - [groans] - you guys still fightin' 542 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,288 Over romance in here? 543 00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:12,024 - No, no, no, no, no. Just... 544 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,625 Just havin' mom and dad talk. 545 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,161 - Look, I'm sorry your little ruse backfired on you. 546 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,962 - Uh, which ruse is that? - Oh, the one where you were 547 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,898 Trying to show me how romantic you are. 548 00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:21,033 - What? [both laugh] 549 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,434 - That's ridiculous. 550 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:23,968 - Oh, you thought that if you showed me 551 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,704 How you can be romantic on valentine's day, 552 00:18:25,706 --> 00:18:28,373 That I'd see it's okay to be romantic. 553 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,242 But I know it's okay. 554 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:31,376 - You do? 555 00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:32,644 - I like romance, 556 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,847 But I just don't want all the showy stuff-- 557 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,049 Chocolates and flowers on the same day 558 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:39,117 That everybody else does it. 559 00:18:39,253 --> 00:18:40,985 I like your kind of romance, 560 00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,787 The effortless kind and the kind where 561 00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:45,257 You know you love someone because of how comfortable 562 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,658 You are together. 563 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,260 [laughs] I want someone who will buy me 564 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,529 A silicone mixing spoon because the mashed potatoes 565 00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:52,597 Don't stick to it. - They don't stick to it. 566 00:18:52,733 --> 00:18:55,267 - Oh, that stainless steel handle is just so good. 567 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,735 - See, this is what I'm talking about. 568 00:18:56,737 --> 00:18:58,470 You guys are perfect for each other. 569 00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,072 I want this, and until then, 570 00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:02,875 All the "say anything" boom box guys can take a hike. 571 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,009 - You know that movie? - Yeah, of course. 572 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,811 That moment gives me dumb chills. 573 00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:07,880 - Thank you. 574 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,347 - Me too. Totally, me too. - [laughs] 575 00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:11,683 - Dumb chills. [laughs] 576 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,485 - Oh, whoa. Both: What? 577 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:14,819 - What is this? - What? 578 00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:16,020 - It's like this-- - what is it? 579 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:17,622 - Is that a hair? 580 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,357 - Is that mine? - It's in your ear. 581 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,093 It's in your ear. Oh, my gosh. - Oh! 582 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:23,361 - Ew! Aah! - Ugh. 583 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:24,629 [gags] 584 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,965 - What is that? - Oh, come on. 585 00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:29,101 Uncle eddie dumped gigi from dispatch this morning, 586 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:32,237 And now she's sending us on all the worst calls in the city. 587 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,438 - Breaking up with dispatch? 588 00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:35,640 Bad move on valentine's day. [laughs] 589 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,576 - [sighs] you're telling me. All right, lovebirds, 590 00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:41,246 I'm gonna go take another shower. 591 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,047 - She's a good kid. - Yeah. 592 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,383 We did all right. 593 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,985 - [clicks tongue] 594 00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,654 [both exhale heavily] 595 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,256 [smacks lips] 596 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,325 Think this would be a romantic time for a kiss or... 597 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:56,128 - Uh, I guess so. 598 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,596 - Oh. 599 00:19:58,799 --> 00:20:00,065 Mm. - [clears throat] 600 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,533 Yeah, that was good. 601 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:02,935 - Really good. [laughing] yeah, okay. 602 00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,603 - High five. 603 00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:06,671 - Good one. 604 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,673 I was thinking about buying new dinner plates. 605 00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:09,608 - Hmm. 606 00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:11,676 - [laughs] right? - Yep. 607 00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,411 - Eddie penisi. 608 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,947 [upbeat tense music] 609 00:20:15,082 --> 00:20:16,148 - Gigi? 610 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,016 ♪ ♪ 611 00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:19,217 What happened to your foot? 612 00:20:19,353 --> 00:20:20,352 - Shut the fuck up. 613 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:21,820 Like you give a shit. 614 00:20:21,822 --> 00:20:23,956 I don't have a lot of time, so make it quick. 615 00:20:24,091 --> 00:20:25,424 - Um, what do you mean? 616 00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:26,625 - What do you mean, "what do I mean"? 617 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,693 You told me to come down here. 618 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:29,962 You said it was life or death. 619 00:20:30,097 --> 00:20:32,631 - Oh, well, that was irresponsible of me. 620 00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:34,433 Why did I do that, I wonder? 621 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,368 - I think it was because you wanted to beg 622 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:38,170 For mercy or something. 623 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:39,438 - Okay, okay. 624 00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:41,706 Gigi, I am sorry about the timing, 625 00:20:41,842 --> 00:20:43,375 But did you really want me to lie to you 626 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:45,177 Just because it's valentine's day? 627 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,512 - Eddie, you are lying. 628 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,914 You did this because it's valentine's day 629 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,384 So that you can go hook up with other girls 630 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:53,652 On your favorite holiday. 631 00:20:53,788 --> 00:20:56,120 - No, no. That's not true, gigi. 632 00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:59,958 I am not looking to be with anybody else. 633 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,663 Okay, if I am being totally honest, 634 00:21:04,665 --> 00:21:07,966 I found somebody who has changed me. 635 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,536 I've decided to settle down with her. 636 00:21:11,672 --> 00:21:13,205 And I didn't know how to tell you that 637 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:14,939 Because I didn't wanna hurt you. 638 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,009 - Bullshit. Who? 639 00:21:17,144 --> 00:21:19,944 ♪ ♪ 640 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,680 - Oh. 641 00:21:23,484 --> 00:21:25,417 - Gigi, this is vicky. 642 00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,019 We're in love. 643 00:21:28,489 --> 00:21:29,888 - Super in love. - Very in love. 644 00:21:30,024 --> 00:21:31,556 - They're the most in love. - Very in love. 645 00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:33,558 Both: Yeah. - I've never seen two people-- 646 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,693 - Yeah, when they started dating, 647 00:21:34,829 --> 00:21:36,361 We were like, "wow, that's perfect." 648 00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:38,030 - [clears throat] yeah, great. 649 00:21:38,165 --> 00:21:40,165 Nice to meet you, gigi. 650 00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:41,900 - Prove it. Kiss her. 651 00:21:41,902 --> 00:21:43,635 - No, no. We don't believe in pda. 652 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,570 - No, hell no. We don't do that. 653 00:21:45,572 --> 00:21:49,842 - High-school stuff. - You're mr. Pda, eddie. 654 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,243 Kiss her. 655 00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:53,578 - Okay, okay. Um, okay. 656 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,180 Of course I will. 657 00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:56,248 Yeah. Why not? 658 00:21:56,383 --> 00:22:01,186 ♪ ♪ 659 00:22:01,188 --> 00:22:02,721 - Mm. Okay. There we are. 660 00:22:02,723 --> 00:22:05,257 - That doesn't look like an "I'm in love" kiss at all. 661 00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:06,991 - Actually, that's the way my wife and I kiss 662 00:22:07,127 --> 00:22:09,127 All the time. - Then I feel sorry for you. 663 00:22:09,263 --> 00:22:10,462 - Okay, great. 664 00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:12,064 - Kiss her. 665 00:22:12,199 --> 00:22:15,267 - [grunts] - [quietly] please, please. 666 00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:19,638 - Okay, yeah. Sure. 667 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,679 [moans] 668 00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:29,481 Mm-hmm. - Mm. 669 00:22:29,616 --> 00:22:32,084 - [crying] - [groans] 670 00:22:32,219 --> 00:22:33,218 - Oh, god. 671 00:22:34,889 --> 00:22:35,954 - [exhales] - there you go. 672 00:22:36,090 --> 00:22:36,755 Love of my life. 673 00:22:36,891 --> 00:22:40,959 - That's... Disgusting. 674 00:22:40,961 --> 00:22:44,096 You don't think I know that that's your sister? 675 00:22:44,231 --> 00:22:45,163 - What? 676 00:22:45,299 --> 00:22:46,698 - Oh, that's vicky penisi. 677 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:49,368 She was three years ahead of me in high school. 678 00:22:49,503 --> 00:22:52,104 This is the level you would go to 679 00:22:52,239 --> 00:22:54,239 To lie to me. 680 00:22:54,241 --> 00:22:55,507 You're deranged. 681 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:57,776 You know what? You are all off the hook 682 00:22:57,912 --> 00:22:58,843 'cause I don't even care. 683 00:22:58,979 --> 00:23:00,845 Thank you for showing me 684 00:23:00,981 --> 00:23:02,581 What I'm not missing. 685 00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:04,917 Thank you for opening my eyes. 686 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,785 I'm glad I'm not with you. Goodbye. 687 00:23:06,921 --> 00:23:08,387 - Bye, gigi. Have a good one. 688 00:23:08,522 --> 00:23:10,589 - Fuck you. 689 00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:12,457 - We did it. Ay! 690 00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:14,392 Happy valentine's day, everyone. 691 00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:16,328 I am eddie penisi. 692 00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:19,131 - [grunts] all: Oh! 693 00:23:19,266 --> 00:23:20,665 - Good punch, vic. - [laughs] 694 00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:23,468 That punch was hot, honey. [laughs] 695 00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:25,670 Happy valentine's day. 696 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:27,106 - Yeah. 697 00:23:28,542 --> 00:23:31,343 - [grunts] - [sighs] 698 00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:32,544 Wow. 699 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:33,878 Oh, wow. 700 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,013 - Are you sure this is a thing? 701 00:23:35,015 --> 00:23:36,681 - Yeah, it's called "cosplay." 702 00:23:36,817 --> 00:23:37,682 - "costplay"? 703 00:23:37,818 --> 00:23:39,017 - Cosplay. 704 00:23:39,019 --> 00:23:42,086 - Costplay? - Cosplay. Cosplay. 705 00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:43,288 - That sounds like a made-up word. 706 00:23:43,290 --> 00:23:44,356 - What do you think? 707 00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:45,557 - How'd they do anything in this? 708 00:23:45,692 --> 00:23:46,558 I can't even move. 709 00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:47,626 - This does kind of suck. 710 00:23:47,761 --> 00:23:48,627 - You wanna just do nurse 711 00:23:48,763 --> 00:23:49,894 And firefighter again? 712 00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:52,164 - Totally. - Yeah, okay. 713 00:23:52,299 --> 00:23:54,667 - [sighs] 714 00:23:55,836 --> 00:23:57,902 Where's the fire? 715 00:23:58,038 --> 00:24:01,439 - Right here in my heart, chief mcconky. 716 00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:02,707 [upbeat music] 717 00:24:02,843 --> 00:24:03,976 Oh, that's weird, right? 718 00:24:04,111 --> 00:24:05,778 - Yeah, I didn't like that. - Yeah. 719 00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:07,712 - Let's just watch a movie? - Ooh, stallone? 720 00:24:07,848 --> 00:24:10,182 - No fucking way. 721 00:24:10,317 --> 00:24:11,650 - "say anything"?