1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:06,739
Done.
I'm a lot more ambitious in my
older years, more mature years.

2
00:00:06,741 --> 00:00:09,208
I'm a lot more ambitious in my
older years, more mature years.
I remember I had, like, a house

3
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,110
older years, more mature years.
I remember I had, like, a house
in l.A. And an apartment in

4
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:13,379
I remember I had, like, a house
in l.A. And an apartment in
new york and cars and private

5
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:13,879
in l.A. And an apartment in
new york and cars and private
schools.

6
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:16,015
New york and cars and private
schools.
We'd walk around both coasts,

7
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:18,150
schools.
We'd walk around both coasts,
and I remember thinking, "oh,

8
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:19,485
we'd walk around both coasts,
and I remember thinking, "oh,
you've made it."

9
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,687
and I remember thinking, "oh,
you've made it."
and I wasn't even working that

10
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,321
you've made it."
and I wasn't even working that
hard.

11
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,690
And I wasn't even working that
hard.
Working a couple of times a week

12
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,358
hard.
Working a couple of times a week
on "private practice."

13
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,560
working a couple of times a week
on "private practice."
and I remember thinking, "oh,

14
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:29,194
on "private practice."
and I remember thinking, "oh,
okay.

15
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,229
And I remember thinking, "oh,
okay.
Here we go.

16
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,531
Okay.
Here we go.
This is easier than I thought."

17
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,933
here we go.
This is easier than I thought."
and then that next year, I

18
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,836
this is easier than I thought."
and then that next year, I
remember hearing about all these

19
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,706
and then that next year, I
remember hearing about all these
other actors that were producing

20
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,208
remember hearing about all these
other actors that were producing
and, you know, real estate.

21
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,477
Other actors that were producing
and, you know, real estate.
And then it really gave me a

22
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,512
and, you know, real estate.
And then it really gave me a
wake-up call.

23
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,614
And then it really gave me a
wake-up call.
I didn't realize I wasn't really

24
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:49,248
wake-up call.
I didn't realize I wasn't really
happy.

25
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,716
I didn't realize I wasn't really
happy.
You know what I mean?

26
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,052
Happy.
You know what I mean?
So, then, that next year, I

27
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,554
you know what I mean?
So, then, that next year, I
remember telling myself, "say

28
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,823
so, then, that next year, I
remember telling myself, "say
yes to everything," right?

29
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,625
Remember telling myself, "say
yes to everything," right?
Because I had been saying no to

30
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,460
yes to everything," right?
Because I had been saying no to
everything because I was making

31
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,262
because I had been saying no to
everything because I was making
enough money from just the gig.

32
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,731
Everything because I was making
enough money from just the gig.
That was the beginning of me

33
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,333
enough money from just the gig.
That was the beginning of me
kind of getting back on track,

34
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:11,070
that was the beginning of me
kind of getting back on track,
taye diggs the artist as opposed

35
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,905
kind of getting back on track,
taye diggs the artist as opposed
to whatever I was becoming.

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00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,974
--<font color="#ffff00"> Captions by vitac</font> --
<font color="#00ffff"> www.Vitac.Com</font>

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00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,044
♪

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00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:33,759
♪

39
00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:34,026
♪

40
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:50,642
my biological father had issues
with drugs.
So, my mother left him

41
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,710
with drugs.
So, my mother left him
when I was five.

42
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,545
So, my mother left him
when I was five.
And then she met my stepfather,

43
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,414
when I was five.
And then she met my stepfather,
who had other issues.

44
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,350
And then she met my stepfather,
who had other issues.
I think mental-health issues.

45
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,152
Who had other issues.
I think mental-health issues.
But he, my stepfather,

46
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,321
I think mental-health issues.
But he, my stepfather,
jeffries diggs, "raised" me.

47
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:05,290
But he, my stepfather,
jeffries diggs, "raised" me.
Both my parents have passed

48
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,225
jeffries diggs, "raised" me.
Both my parents have passed
away.

49
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:09,128
Both my parents have passed
away.
I did not -- I think I can

50
00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,530
away.
I did not -- I think I can
safely say I hated my

51
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,031
I did not -- I think I can
safely say I hated my
stepfather.

52
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,367
Safely say I hated my
stepfather.
He was very abusive.

53
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:15,968
Stepfather.
He was very abusive.
And...

54
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:16,902
He was very abusive.
And...
[ chuckles ]

55
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,004
and...
[ chuckles ]
yeah, a lot of the trauma I'm

56
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,273
[ chuckles ]
yeah, a lot of the trauma I'm
struggling with now, I think, is

57
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,075
yeah, a lot of the trauma I'm
struggling with now, I think, is
directly related to him.

58
00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:25,010
Struggling with now, I think, is
directly related to him.
And I'm sure, you know, this

59
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,979
directly related to him.
And I'm sure, you know, this
happens to a lot of kids that

60
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:29,148
and I'm sure, you know, this
happens to a lot of kids that
grew up with over-disciplinarian

61
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,183
happens to a lot of kids that
grew up with over-disciplinarian
families, where, you know, you

62
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,152
grew up with over-disciplinarian
families, where, you know, you
walk in a room, and you don't

63
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,820
families, where, you know, you
walk in a room, and you don't
know if you're gonna get hugged

64
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,522
walk in a room, and you don't
know if you're gonna get hugged
or beat or if you're gonna have

65
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,089
know if you're gonna get hugged
or beat or if you're gonna have
a shoe.

66
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:39,691
Or beat or if you're gonna have
a shoe.
So, it's interesting, getting

67
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,194
a shoe.
So, it's interesting, getting
older and realizing a lot of

68
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,897
so, it's interesting, getting
older and realizing a lot of
these things have helped in my

69
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:45,797
older and realizing a lot of
these things have helped in my
acting.

70
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,966
These things have helped in my
acting.
But now, through therapy and

71
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,369
acting.
But now, through therapy and
stuff, it's interesting to kind

72
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,538
but now, through therapy and
stuff, it's interesting to kind
of track, "oh, this is why I

73
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,973
stuff, it's interesting to kind
of track, "oh, this is why I
react this way," or "this is why

74
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:57,142
of track, "oh, this is why I
react this way," or "this is why
I'm so aware when I'm in new

75
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,545
react this way," or "this is why
I'm so aware when I'm in new
surroundings" or why I'm not as

76
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,914
I'm so aware when I'm in new
surroundings" or why I'm not as
trusting as I would like to be.

77
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:04,216
Surroundings" or why I'm not as
trusting as I would like to be.
Yeah.

78
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:05,984
Trusting as I would like to be.
Yeah.
♪

79
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,620
yeah.
♪
♪

80
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:11,156
♪
♪
I will say at the time it felt

81
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:14,726
♪
I will say at the time it felt
as if my stepdad was treating me

82
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,195
I will say at the time it felt
as if my stepdad was treating me
the worst.

83
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,997
As if my stepdad was treating me
the worst.
But, then, after I'm hearing

84
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:22,034
the worst.
But, then, after I'm hearing
from my other siblings, after I

85
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:24,736
but, then, after I'm hearing
from my other siblings, after I
left for college, he got on

86
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,138
from my other siblings, after I
left for college, he got on
them, too.

87
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,140
Left for college, he got on
them, too.
So, at the time, I felt like,

88
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:30,209
them, too.
So, at the time, I felt like,
yeah, I was being singled out.

89
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:33,412
So, at the time, I felt like,
yeah, I was being singled out.
But he was equal opportunity.

90
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,013
Yeah, I was being singled out.
But he was equal opportunity.
[ chuckles ]

91
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,782
but he was equal opportunity.
[ chuckles ]
♪

92
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:37,849
[ chuckles ]
♪
♪

93
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,184
♪
♪
I have four brothers and

94
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:39,785
♪
I have four brothers and
sisters.

95
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,819
I have four brothers and
sisters.
She raised us all.

96
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,589
Sisters.
She raised us all.
And then, after she raised us,

97
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:46,792
she raised us all.
And then, after she raised us,
she went back to school for

98
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:49,094
and then, after she raised us,
she went back to school for
theater and dance.

99
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:52,064
She went back to school for
theater and dance.
So, she would drag us to

100
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:55,367
theater and dance.
So, she would drag us to
rehearsals and shows, and I

101
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,437
so, she would drag us to
rehearsals and shows, and I
think she could see how in awe

102
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,607
rehearsals and shows, and I
think she could see how in awe
of that lifestyle I was, because

103
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,709
think she could see how in awe
of that lifestyle I was, because
I knew her as my mom who, you

104
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,744
of that lifestyle I was, because
I knew her as my mom who, you
know, cooked and cleaned and

105
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,512
I knew her as my mom who, you
know, cooked and cleaned and
spanked us and whatever.

106
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:10,082
Know, cooked and cleaned and
spanked us and whatever.
But, then, when she would get on

107
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,517
spanked us and whatever.
But, then, when she would get on
stage and turn into this other

108
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,653
but, then, when she would get on
stage and turn into this other
character -- and she had a

109
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,121
stage and turn into this other
character -- and she had a
beautiful voice.

110
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,923
Character -- and she had a
beautiful voice.
And that's when I really was

111
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,758
beautiful voice.
And that's when I really was
exposed to how wonderful of a

112
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,993
and that's when I really was
exposed to how wonderful of a
singer she was.

113
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,594
Exposed to how wonderful of a
singer she was.
She could tell, and she was

114
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,396
singer she was.
She could tell, and she was
like, "okay, we need to put him

115
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:25,297
she could tell, and she was
like, "okay, we need to put him
on this route."

116
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:28,133
like, "okay, we need to put him
on this route."
♪

117
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,868
on this route."
♪
♪

118
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,170
♪
♪
so, I was very shy at school,

119
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,439
♪
so, I was very shy at school,
but because I was kind of an

120
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,742
so, I was very shy at school,
but because I was kind of an
outcast, I developed -- and I

121
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,177
but because I was kind of an
outcast, I developed -- and I
also got it from my mother -- a

122
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,679
outcast, I developed -- and I
also got it from my mother -- a
level of sarcasm.

123
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,914
Also got it from my mother -- a
level of sarcasm.
And that's kind of where my

124
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,117
level of sarcasm.
And that's kind of where my
humor lived, and I think my

125
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,152
and that's kind of where my
humor lived, and I think my
mother, she noticed that.

126
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,187
Humor lived, and I think my
mother, she noticed that.
We used to love to dance.

127
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,290
Mother, she noticed that.
We used to love to dance.
Like, on saturdays, we'd play --

128
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,191
we used to love to dance.
Like, on saturdays, we'd play --
I remember dancing to records

129
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,060
like, on saturdays, we'd play --
I remember dancing to records
and dancing so hard that the

130
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,428
I remember dancing to records
and dancing so hard that the
records would skip.

131
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,330
And dancing so hard that the
records would skip.
And we would have these crazy

132
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,365
records would skip.
And we would have these crazy
family dance parties, listening

133
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,733
and we would have these crazy
family dance parties, listening
to michael jackson,

134
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:05,203
family dance parties, listening
to michael jackson,
hall and oates, the bee gees,

135
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,238
to michael jackson,
hall and oates, the bee gees,
yeah.

136
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:10,609
Hall and oates, the bee gees,
yeah.
So, I could move a little bit.

137
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,744
Yeah.
So, I could move a little bit.
♪

138
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,946
so, I could move a little bit.
♪
♪

139
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,048
♪
♪
yeah, you know how it is.

140
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,449
♪
yeah, you know how it is.
You don't know you're poor until

141
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,750
yeah, you know how it is.
You don't know you're poor until
you're exposed to other people

142
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:19,551
you don't know you're poor until
you're exposed to other people
that aren't poor.

143
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:22,954
You're exposed to other people
that aren't poor.
I'm telling you.

144
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,156
That aren't poor.
I'm telling you.
Two parents were never working

145
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:24,923
I'm telling you.
Two parents were never working
at the same time.

146
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,592
Two parents were never working
at the same time.
And my father -- my stepdad --

147
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,062
at the same time.
And my father -- my stepdad --
was the one that was rarely

148
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:32,731
and my father -- my stepdad --
was the one that was rarely
working because I think now he

149
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,099
was the one that was rarely
working because I think now he
had mental issues.

150
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,335
Working because I think now he
had mental issues.
But he would hold down a job and

151
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,470
had mental issues.
But he would hold down a job and
then try to get everybody to

152
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,772
but he would hold down a job and
then try to get everybody to
become christians and then get

153
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,473
then try to get everybody to
become christians and then get
fired.

154
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:44,476
Become christians and then get
fired.
[ laughs ]

155
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,211
fired.
[ laughs ]
yeah.

156
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,212
[ laughs ]
yeah.
Yeah.

157
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:50,382
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, my mother worked a lot.

158
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,684
Yeah.
So, my mother worked a lot.
So, we were definitely on

159
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,720
so, my mother worked a lot.
So, we were definitely on
government assistance.

160
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,489
So, we were definitely on
government assistance.
I remember when I would have to

161
00:05:57,491 --> 00:06:00,225
government assistance.
I remember when I would have to
go shopping for the family with

162
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,526
I remember when I would have to
go shopping for the family with
food stamps.

163
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,862
Go shopping for the family with
food stamps.
And I remember being

164
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,698
food stamps.
And I remember being
ridiculously embarrassed,

165
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,100
and I remember being
ridiculously embarrassed,
mortified.

166
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:10,936
Ridiculously embarrassed,
mortified.
And I remember I was so anxious.

167
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,371
Mortified.
And I remember I was so anxious.
There was a grocery store that

168
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,638
and I remember I was so anxious.
There was a grocery store that
was walking distance to the

169
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,106
there was a grocery store that
was walking distance to the
house.

170
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:15,507
Was walking distance to the
house.
I was so anxious that I walked

171
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,908
house.
I was so anxious that I walked
to the grocery store, got the

172
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,310
I was so anxious that I walked
to the grocery store, got the
groceries, and got lost on the

173
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:19,678
to the grocery store, got the
groceries, and got lost on the
way back.

174
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,580
Groceries, and got lost on the
way back.
♪

175
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,014
way back.
♪
so, we lived in great

176
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,583
♪
so, we lived in great
neighborhoods, but these

177
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,251
so, we lived in great
neighborhoods, but these
neighborhoods, they had a

178
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,086
neighborhoods, but these
neighborhoods, they had a
certain area that was kind of

179
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:29,321
neighborhoods, they had a
certain area that was kind of
roped off for the

180
00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:30,455
certain area that was kind of
roped off for the
underprivileged.

181
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,724
Roped off for the
underprivileged.
So, I was always exposed to, you

182
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,926
underprivileged.
So, I was always exposed to, you
know, normal moneymaking folks.

183
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,528
So, I was always exposed to, you
know, normal moneymaking folks.
You know what I mean?

184
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,231
Know, normal moneymaking folks.
You know what I mean?
And I remember wheree grew up,

185
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,199
you know what I mean?
And I remember wheree grew up,
there was a huge black

186
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,534
and I remember wheree grew up,
there was a huge black
middle class.

187
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,770
There was a huge black
middle class.
And that's what kind of threw me

188
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:45,303
middle class.
And that's what kind of threw me
off.

189
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,872
And that's what kind of threw me
off.
Definitely, you know, issues

190
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,640
off.
Definitely, you know, issues
with identity and what it was to

191
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,242
definitely, you know, issues
with identity and what it was to
be black and act black and be

192
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,010
with identity and what it was to
be black and act black and be
black and know black -- all that

193
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,078
be black and act black and be
black and know black -- all that
stuff.

194
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,482
Black and know black -- all that
stuff.
♪

195
00:06:57,484 --> 00:07:00,185
stuff.
♪
fifth grade is when kids start

196
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:03,021
♪
fifth grade is when kids start
realizing, "oh, he has money" or

197
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,257
fifth grade is when kids start
realizing, "oh, he has money" or
"he doesn't thrive here.

198
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,459
Realizing, "oh, he has money" or
"he doesn't thrive here.
He's not starting on the..."

199
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:10,128
"he doesn't thrive here.
He's not starting on the..."
and then it was like friendly,

200
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,764
he's not starting on the..."
and then it was like friendly,
and then junior high was when,

201
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,567
and then it was like friendly,
and then junior high was when,
you know, there were days when I

202
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,102
and then junior high was when,
you know, there were days when I
would get up...

203
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:17,569
You know, there were days when I
would get up...
Ah!

204
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,671
Would get up...
Ah!
So, there'd be a new person, a

205
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,740
ah!
So, there'd be a new person, a
new, cool dude that would come

206
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:22,607
so, there'd be a new person, a
new, cool dude that would come
to school.

207
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,409
New, cool dude that would come
to school.
I remember this one dude.

208
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,411
To school.
I remember this one dude.
He was, like, from jamaica or

209
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,312
I remember this one dude.
He was, like, from jamaica or
something.

210
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:28,547
He was, like, from jamaica or
something.
He was a new dude -- tall,

211
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,548
something.
He was a new dude -- tall,
really good-looking.

212
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,349
He was a new dude -- tall,
really good-looking.
And I was nerdy and friendly.

213
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,884
Really good-looking.
And I was nerdy and friendly.
So, I became his friend.

214
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,320
And I was nerdy and friendly.
So, I became his friend.
Once everybody else found out

215
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,622
so, I became his friend.
Once everybody else found out
how popular he was, then he

216
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,890
once everybody else found out
how popular he was, then he
turned on me.

217
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,493
How popular he was, then he
turned on me.
And I remember he made -- I had

218
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,762
turned on me.
And I remember he made -- I had
these fake-ass adidas, like

219
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,198
and I remember he made -- I had
these fake-ass adidas, like
4-stripe, patrick ewing-type,

220
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,266
these fake-ass adidas, like
4-stripe, patrick ewing-type,
and he made fun of them.

221
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,869
4-stripe, patrick ewing-type,
and he made fun of them.
But I came back with something

222
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,438
and he made fun of them.
But I came back with something
real quick in front of people,

223
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,407
but I came back with something
real quick in front of people,
and he got embarrassed.

224
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:57,709
Real quick in front of people,
and he got embarrassed.
And then he said, "I'm gonna

225
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,178
and he got embarrassed.
And then he said, "I'm gonna
kick your ass after homeroom."

226
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,213
and then he said, "I'm gonna
kick your ass after homeroom."
[ laughs ]

227
00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:03,849
kick your ass after homeroom."
[ laughs ]
after homeroom, I ran out of

228
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:04,716
[ laughs ]
after homeroom, I ran out of
the...

229
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,018
After homeroom, I ran out of
the...
So, you know you're in a

230
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,620
the...
So, you know you're in a
hallway, right?

231
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,422
So, you know you're in a
hallway, right?
Long hallway in school, and

232
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:12,190
hallway, right?
Long hallway in school, and
there's, like, a door to a

233
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,024
long hallway in school, and
there's, like, a door to a
classroom.

234
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,159
There's, like, a door to a
classroom.
Then, there's a brick wall.

235
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,227
Classroom.
Then, there's a brick wall.
Then, there's a door to a

236
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:15,794
then, there's a brick wall.
Then, there's a door to a
classroom.

237
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,028
Then, there's a door to a
classroom.
Then, there's a brick wall and

238
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:17,996
classroom.
Then, there's a brick wall and
the door to a classroom.

239
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,065
Then, there's a brick wall and
the door to a classroom.
I was running, and every time I

240
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,100
the door to a classroom.
I was running, and every time I
would pass a door, I'd be like,

241
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,102
I was running, and every time I
would pass a door, I'd be like,
"help!

242
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:25,637
Would pass a door, I'd be like,
"help!
Help!"

243
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,939
"help!
Help!"
[ laughs ]

244
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,741
help!"
[ laughs ]
I hadn't thought about that in a

245
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,342
[ laughs ]
I hadn't thought about that in a
minute.

246
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,344
I hadn't thought about that in a
minute.
♪

247
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,112
minute.
♪
♪

248
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,749
♪
♪
in tenth grade, life changed

249
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:43,588
♪
in tenth grade, life changed
because it was as simple as...

250
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,656
In tenth grade, life changed
because it was as simple as...
I was just accepted.

251
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,124
Because it was as simple as...
I was just accepted.
So, I went to a school of the

252
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:46,558
I was just accepted.
So, I went to a school of the
arts.

253
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,026
So, I went to a school of the
arts.
So, it didn't matter how much

254
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:48,860
arts.
So, it didn't matter how much
money you had.

255
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,161
So, it didn't matter how much
money you had.
It didn't matter who your

256
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:50,929
money you had.
It didn't matter who your
parents were.

257
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,464
It didn't matter who your
parents were.
It didn't matter who you were

258
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:53,031
parents were.
It didn't matter who you were
dating.

259
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,466
It didn't matter who you were
dating.
If you had talent, you were

260
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:54,933
dating.
If you had talent, you were
cool.

261
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,601
If you had talent, you were
cool.
And I had just enough talent for

262
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,937
cool.
And I had just enough talent for
people to notice, and then I

263
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,540
and I had just enough talent for
people to notice, and then I
was -- because people were nicer

264
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,674
people to notice, and then I
was -- because people were nicer
there, too.

265
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,476
Was -- because people were nicer
there, too.
You know what I mean?

266
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:06,811
There, too.
You know what I mean?
The arts, I think, it breeds

267
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:09,080
you know what I mean?
The arts, I think, it breeds
kindness and acceptance and

268
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:09,981
the arts, I think, it breeds
kindness and acceptance and
support.

269
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,083
Kindness and acceptance and
support.
So, once I had that support,

270
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,052
support.
So, once I had that support,
then I was able to really,

271
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,253
so, once I had that support,
then I was able to really,
really thrive.

272
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,088
Then I was able to really,
really thrive.
And then, once I saw the

273
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,424
really thrive.
And then, once I saw the
attention that I was getting and

274
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,593
and then, once I saw the
attention that I was getting and
how it felt, then I honed in,

275
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,595
attention that I was getting and
how it felt, then I honed in,
and I was like, "I'm riding

276
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:24,229
how it felt, then I honed in,
and I was like, "I'm riding
this.

277
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,398
And I was like, "I'm riding
this.
I'm riding this [bleep] out."

278
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,234
this.
I'm riding this [bleep] out."
and I remember honing my skills

279
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,068
I'm riding this [bleep] out."
and I remember honing my skills
there.

280
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,604
And I remember honing my skills
there.
And I remember the teachers

281
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,407
there.
And I remember the teachers
recognizing there was something

282
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,310
and I remember the teachers
recognizing there was something
but also realizing that I wasn't

283
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:39,411
recognizing there was something
but also realizing that I wasn't
good yet.

284
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,746
But also realizing that I wasn't
good yet.
They would say that

285
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,748
good yet.
They would say that
there was a potential.

286
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,184
They would say that
there was a potential.
And I feel like I could read

287
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,520
there was a potential.
And I feel like I could read
that, and I didn't like it.

288
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,155
And I feel like I could read
that, and I didn't like it.
So, I made sure I did what I

289
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,957
that, and I didn't like it.
So, I made sure I did what I
needed to do so that they would

290
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,058
so, I made sure I did what I
needed to do so that they would
stop saying that.

291
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,693
Needed to do so that they would
stop saying that.
I just wanted to be good, as

292
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,394
stop saying that.
I just wanted to be good, as
opposed to, "okay, like, your

293
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,696
I just wanted to be good, as
opposed to, "okay, like, your
voice is loud, scott.

294
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,863
Opposed to, "okay, like, your
voice is loud, scott.
Yeah, good for you.

295
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,365
Voice is loud, scott.
Yeah, good for you.
That was very energetic."

296
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,266
yeah, good for you.
That was very energetic."
"okay, cool."

297
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,268
that was very energetic."
"okay, cool."
I could tell from their facial

298
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,270
"okay, cool."
I could tell from their facial
cues that they were looking at

299
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,372
I could tell from their facial
cues that they were looking at
this cat different, and I wanted

300
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,474
cues that they were looking at
this cat different, and I wanted
to be like that cat, who was the

301
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:10,041
this cat different, and I wanted
to be like that cat, who was the
lead.

302
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,577
To be like that cat, who was the
lead.
♪

303
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,346
lead.
♪
♪

304
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:17,182
♪
♪
senior year, there was a crew of

305
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,985
♪
senior year, there was a crew of
us, and we just ran the school.

306
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,821
Senior year, there was a crew of
us, and we just ran the school.
Like, whatever performance there

307
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,589
us, and we just ran the school.
Like, whatever performance there
was, we were the leads.

308
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,524
Like, whatever performance there
was, we were the leads.
That was the senior class.

309
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,526
Was, we were the leads.
That was the senior class.
So, I don't know -- we were

310
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,829
that was the senior class.
So, I don't know -- we were
good, but I think the school did

311
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,631
so, I don't know -- we were
good, but I think the school did
such a great job of just

312
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,699
good, but I think the school did
such a great job of just
supporting, and, at the same

313
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,868
such a great job of just
supporting, and, at the same
time, the school was way ahead

314
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,936
supporting, and, at the same
time, the school was way ahead
of its time.

315
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,238
Time, the school was way ahead
of its time.
♪

316
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,340
of its time.
♪
♪

317
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,242
♪
♪
I did graduate from syracuse.

318
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,044
♪
I did graduate from syracuse.
I started out actually as a

319
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,012
I did graduate from syracuse.
I started out actually as a
voice major.

320
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,146
I started out actually as a
voice major.
At the time, it was easier to

321
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,347
voice major.
At the time, it was easier to
get a scholarship in voice than

322
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:53,551
at the time, it was easier to
get a scholarship in voice than
it was in music theater.

323
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,420
Get a scholarship in voice than
it was in music theater.
So, I just wanted to get in

324
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,054
it was in music theater.
So, I just wanted to get in
there.

325
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,456
So, I just wanted to get in
there.
I got in and then thought it was

326
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,257
there.
I got in and then thought it was
boring.

327
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,026
I got in and then thought it was
boring.
I wanted to be more active and

328
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:01,826
boring.
I wanted to be more active and
expressive.

329
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,294
I wanted to be more active and
expressive.
So, I transferred to the

330
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,096
expressive.
So, I transferred to the
music theater program.

331
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:08,533
So, I transferred to the
music theater program.
Got in and yeah, it was a ball.

332
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:12,070
Music theater program.
Got in and yeah, it was a ball.
It was like high school but just

333
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,972
got in and yeah, it was a ball.
It was like high school but just
more, you know?

334
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:17,042
It was like high school but just
more, you know?
And college was when I knew

335
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:20,245
more, you know?
And college was when I knew
for a fact, "I'm going to do

336
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,313
and college was when I knew
for a fact, "I'm going to do
this for life."

337
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:22,847
for a fact, "I'm going to do
this for life."
that's when I realized.

338
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:34,626
>> diggs: Being labeled a white
boy, it was painful, but it was
painful, period.

339
00:11:34,628 --> 00:11:36,194
Boy, it was painful, but it was
painful, period.
Once I figured out how to

340
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,063
painful, period.
Once I figured out how to
manipulate situations, I made a

341
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,964
once I figured out how to
manipulate situations, I made a
habit of studying people so that

342
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,433
manipulate situations, I made a
habit of studying people so that
I don't feel less than.

343
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:44,235
Habit of studying people so that
I don't feel less than.
So, as soon [snaps fingers] as I

344
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,071
I don't feel less than.
So, as soon [snaps fingers] as I
realized certain black people at

345
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,872
so, as soon [snaps fingers] as I
realized certain black people at
school were calling me white, I

346
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,074
realized certain black people at
school were calling me white, I
made it about them.

347
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,676
School were calling me white, I
made it about them.
And I didn't change who I was,

348
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,745
made it about them.
And I didn't change who I was,
and I just went harder.

349
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,146
And I didn't change who I was,
and I just went harder.
It was a trip, though, because

350
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,481
and I just went harder.
It was a trip, though, because
even, like, I remember when I

351
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,017
it was a trip, though, because
even, like, I remember when I
moved to new york, people that

352
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,419
even, like, I remember when I
moved to new york, people that
didn't even know my history,

353
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,089
moved to new york, people that
didn't even know my history,
women, would say, "you only date

354
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,624
didn't even know my history,
women, would say, "you only date
white girls, huh?" before they

355
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:09,027
women, would say, "you only date
white girls, huh?" before they
even knew anything about me.

356
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,196
White girls, huh?" before they
even knew anything about me.
I never got the answers that I

357
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,531
even knew anything about me.
I never got the answers that I
wanted, but I would dig deep and

358
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,433
I never got the answers that I
wanted, but I would dig deep and
say, "well, why do you say

359
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,134
wanted, but I would dig deep and
say, "well, why do you say
that?"

360
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,902
say, "well, why do you say
that?"
like, "you don't know...

361
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,270
That?"
like, "you don't know...
Is it because I speak like

362
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:19,738
like, "you don't know...
Is it because I speak like
this?"

363
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,339
is it because I speak like
this?"
"no. It's just a feeling I get."

364
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,373
this?"
"no. It's just a feeling I get."
I don't know if it was their

365
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:22,874
"no. It's just a feeling I get."
I don't know if it was their
insecurity.

366
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:23,441
I don't know if it was their
insecurity.
I don't know.

367
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,677
Insecurity.
I don't know.
But that happened more times

368
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:25,977
I don't know.
But that happened more times
than not.

369
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:34,786
♪
>> diggs: I was born, and I had
no name.

370
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:37,522
>> diggs: I was born, and I had
no name.
My mom's maiden name was berry.

371
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,457
No name.
My mom's maiden name was berry.
So, on my birth certificate, it

372
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,792
my mom's maiden name was berry.
So, on my birth certificate, it
said, "baby berry."

373
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,861
so, on my birth certificate, it
said, "baby berry."
my birth father's name was

374
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:43,595
said, "baby berry."
my birth father's name was
andre.

375
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,463
My birth father's name was
andre.
I was conceived in l.A.

376
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,132
Andre.
I was conceived in l.A.
So, right after I was born, they

377
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,566
I was conceived in l.A.
So, right after I was born, they
called me "l.A." for short,

378
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:51,236
so, right after I was born, they
called me "l.A." for short,
until they could figure out a

379
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,003
called me "l.A." for short,
until they could figure out a
name.

380
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,605
Until they could figure out a
name.
My mother left the hospital

381
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,340
name.
My mother left the hospital
before she could get my birth

382
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,174
my mother left the hospital
before she could get my birth
certificate.

383
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,675
Before she could get my birth
certificate.
She left without my birth

384
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:58,510
certificate.
She left without my birth
certificate.

385
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,311
She left without my birth
certificate.
All she had were my footprints.

386
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,481
Certificate.
All she had were my footprints.
My mom leaves my birth father,

387
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,483
all she had were my footprints.
My mom leaves my birth father,
meets my stepdad.

388
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,852
My mom leaves my birth father,
meets my stepdad.
I live in a white neighborhood.

389
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,821
Meets my stepdad.
I live in a white neighborhood.
My friends are mark, jim.

390
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,689
I live in a white neighborhood.
My friends are mark, jim.
I had one black friend.

391
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,324
My friends are mark, jim.
I had one black friend.
His name was reggie.

392
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:15,860
I had one black friend.
His name was reggie.
I got made fun of because the

393
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,563
his name was reggie.
I got made fun of because the
insides of my hands were light,

394
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,232
I got made fun of because the
insides of my hands were light,
and mark said -- he asked me if

395
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,500
insides of my hands were light,
and mark said -- he asked me if
I was dirty.

396
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,335
And mark said -- he asked me if
I was dirty.
"if you take a bath, can you

397
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,436
I was dirty.
"if you take a bath, can you
wash this off?"

398
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,005
"if you take a bath, can you
wash this off?"
so, all of this is settling.

399
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,139
Wash this off?"
so, all of this is settling.
I'm five years old.

400
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,374
So, all of this is settling.
I'm five years old.
I go in to my mother.

401
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,141
I'm five years old.
I go in to my mother.
I tell her.

402
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,910
I go in to my mother.
I tell her.
She's like, "be proud of who you

403
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,244
I tell her.
She's like, "be proud of who you
are," blah, blah, blah.

404
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,380
She's like, "be proud of who you
are," blah, blah, blah.
But deep down inside, I was

405
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,382
are," blah, blah, blah.
But deep down inside, I was
like, "I don't like this.

406
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,517
But deep down inside, I was
like, "I don't like this.
I want to change my name to

407
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,452
like, "I don't like this.
I want to change my name to
sound like mark or jim."

408
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,588
I want to change my name to
sound like mark or jim."
so, I remember thinking, "what

409
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,657
sound like mark or jim."
so, I remember thinking, "what
is like a really white name?"

410
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,492
so, I remember thinking, "what
is like a really white name?"
and I remember I thought,

411
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,293
is like a really white name?"
and I remember I thought,
"scott."

412
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,428
and I remember I thought,
"scott."
so, up until five years old, I

413
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,630
"scott."
so, up until five years old, I
was being called either l.A. Or

414
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,032
so, up until five years old, I
was being called either l.A. Or
andre, which was the name of my

415
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,667
was being called either l.A. Or
andre, which was the name of my
birth father.

416
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,402
Andre, which was the name of my
birth father.
My stepdad's name was diggs.

417
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,137
Birth father.
My stepdad's name was diggs.
So, my mother saw that as an

418
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,905
my stepdad's name was diggs.
So, my mother saw that as an
opportunity for me to kind of

419
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:02,740
so, my mother saw that as an
opportunity for me to kind of
switch and get on a new track,

420
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,642
opportunity for me to kind of
switch and get on a new track,
and I would be scott -- leo was

421
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,010
switch and get on a new track,
and I would be scott -- leo was
my dad's middle name.

422
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,846
And I would be scott -- leo was
my dad's middle name.
I remember having a discussion

423
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:08,580
my dad's middle name.
I remember having a discussion
with her.

424
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,515
I remember having a discussion
with her.
She wanted me to have his middle

425
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,417
with her.
She wanted me to have his middle
name so that we would seem like

426
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:13,318
she wanted me to have his middle
name so that we would seem like
we were closer.

427
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,752
Name so that we would seem like
we were closer.
And I didn't want it.

428
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,621
We were closer.
And I didn't want it.
And I remember he didn't want

429
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,488
and I didn't want it.
And I remember he didn't want
it, either.

430
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,690
And I remember he didn't want
it, either.
He didn't want me to have leo,

431
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:19,090
it, either.
He didn't want me to have leo,
either.

432
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:19,791
He didn't want me to have leo,
either.
I remember that.

433
00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:21,926
Either.
I remember that.
But my name became

434
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,995
I remember that.
But my name became
scott leo diggs.

435
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,331
But my name became
scott leo diggs.
Then, when I was in high school

436
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,733
scott leo diggs.
Then, when I was in high school
and kind of thought back on why,

437
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,102
then, when I was in high school
and kind of thought back on why,
because I never liked hearing my

438
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,304
and kind of thought back on why,
because I never liked hearing my
name called, scott diggs, for

439
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,672
because I never liked hearing my
name called, scott diggs, for
whatever reason.

440
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,507
Name called, scott diggs, for
whatever reason.
And then I realized,

441
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,775
whatever reason.
And then I realized,
"oh, [bleep]

442
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:38,877
and then I realized,
"oh, [bleep]
who am I?"

443
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,613
"oh, [bleep]
who am I?"
I remember, and I was so ashamed

444
00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:42,881
who am I?"
I remember, and I was so ashamed
at that age.

445
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,316
I remember, and I was so ashamed
at that age.
Andre felt very black to me.

446
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,886
At that age.
Andre felt very black to me.
And in high school, that's all

447
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,154
andre felt very black to me.
And in high school, that's all
we wanted to be was black.

448
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,557
And in high school, that's all
we wanted to be was black.
And I remember being so pissed

449
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,659
we wanted to be was black.
And I remember being so pissed
that I changed my name, so

450
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,995
and I remember being so pissed
that I changed my name, so
pissed that my mother let me.

451
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,796
That I changed my name, so
pissed that my mother let me.
So, then, I was thinking, "okay,

452
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,031
pissed that my mother let me.
So, then, I was thinking, "okay,
I'm going to college.

453
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,633
So, then, I was thinking, "okay,
I'm going to college.
I don't want to be cornball,

454
00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:03,234
I'm going to college.
I don't want to be cornball,
and, like, change my name to

455
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,969
I don't want to be cornball,
and, like, change my name to
mufasa or some [bleep], so what

456
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:06,070
and, like, change my name to
mufasa or some [bleep], so what
makes more sense?"

457
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,839
mufasa or some [bleep], so what
makes more sense?"
I was thinking of nicknames that

458
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:09,307
makes more sense?"
I was thinking of nicknames that
just sounded a little more

459
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:09,908
I was thinking of nicknames that
just sounded a little more
ethnic.

460
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,643
Just sounded a little more
ethnic.
And I remember my uncle used to

461
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:13,278
ethnic.
And I remember my uncle used to
call me "scottay."

462
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,046
and I remember my uncle used to
call me "scottay."
scottay -- scottay diggs.

463
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,180
Call me "scottay."
scottay -- scottay diggs.
So, I said, "okay, when I go to

464
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,348
scottay -- scottay diggs.
So, I said, "okay, when I go to
college, I'll say I'm scott, but

465
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,349
so, I said, "okay, when I go to
college, I'll say I'm scott, but
I'll ask people to call me

466
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,651
college, I'll say I'm scott, but
I'll ask people to call me
taye."

467
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:21,819
I'll ask people to call me
taye."
that was like another identity

468
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,922
taye."
that was like another identity
kind of change that helped me

469
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,623
that was like another identity
kind of change that helped me
kind of adjust, you know?

470
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:30,495
Kind of change that helped me
kind of adjust, you know?
Took who I was, figured it out,

471
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:31,996
kind of adjust, you know?
Took who I was, figured it out,
and made the necessary

472
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,865
took who I was, figured it out,
and made the necessary
adjustments so that I could

473
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,767
and made the necessary
adjustments so that I could
keep moving without having to

474
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,402
adjustments so that I could
keep moving without having to
say that I turned into a

475
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,103
keep moving without having to
say that I turned into a
different person completely.

476
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,471
Say that I turned into a
different person completely.
You know what I mean?

477
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,441
Different person completely.
You know what I mean?
♪

478
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,642
you know what I mean?
♪
at syracuse, they had this

479
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:45,710
♪
at syracuse, they had this
amazing program called

480
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,379
at syracuse, they had this
amazing program called
"lubin house," where your senior

481
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,415
amazing program called
"lubin house," where your senior
year, you took a bus to

482
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,951
"lubin house," where your senior
year, you took a bus to
new york city, and there would

483
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,319
year, you took a bus to
new york city, and there would
be an evening.

484
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,354
New york city, and there would
be an evening.
It was like a showcase.

485
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,389
Be an evening.
It was like a showcase.
And we would perform scenes for

486
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,391
it was like a showcase.
And we would perform scenes for
a bunch of new york agents that

487
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,060
and we would perform scenes for
a bunch of new york agents that
had connections to the school.

488
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,795
A bunch of new york agents that
had connections to the school.
And that's how we were exposed

489
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:04,629
had connections to the school.
And that's how we were exposed
to agencies.

490
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,198
And that's how we were exposed
to agencies.
So, I did that and did really,

491
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,634
to agencies.
So, I did that and did really,
really well and got an agent

492
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,903
so, I did that and did really,
really well and got an agent
from that and then just --

493
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,105
really well and got an agent
from that and then just --
yeah, what was the thing?

494
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,907
From that and then just --
yeah, what was the thing?
You had a survival job.

495
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,209
Yeah, what was the thing?
You had a survival job.
So, I worked at pizzeria uno as

496
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,611
you had a survival job.
So, I worked at pizzeria uno as
a host because I was too anxious

497
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:21,879
so, I worked at pizzeria uno as
a host because I was too anxious
to be a waiter.

498
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,148
A host because I was too anxious
to be a waiter.
So, I remember going into work

499
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,385
to be a waiter.
So, I remember going into work
at pizzeria uno, and there was

500
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,154
so, I remember going into work
at pizzeria uno, and there was
two cute other hostesses.

501
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,923
At pizzeria uno, and there was
two cute other hostesses.
And, you know, we ask each other

502
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,558
two cute other hostesses.
And, you know, we ask each other
what we're doing, and I said I

503
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,425
and, you know, we ask each other
what we're doing, and I said I
was an actor.

504
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,160
What we're doing, and I said I
was an actor.
And I remember one of the girls,

505
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,362
was an actor.
And I remember one of the girls,
she rolled her eyes.

506
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,097
And I remember one of the girls,
she rolled her eyes.
And I said, "why are you rolling

507
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:39,864
she rolled her eyes.
And I said, "why are you rolling
your eyes?"

508
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,032
and I said, "why are you rolling
your eyes?"
she said, "well, everybody's an

509
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:41,599
your eyes?"
she said, "well, everybody's an
actor here."

510
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,201
she said, "well, everybody's an
actor here."
I said, "I guarantee you in the

511
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,836
actor here."
I said, "I guarantee you in the
next six months, I'll either be

512
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,270
I said, "I guarantee you in the
next six months, I'll either be
on broadway, have my own tv

513
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:47,572
next six months, I'll either be
on broadway, have my own tv
show, or be in a movie."

514
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:50,008
on broadway, have my own tv
show, or be in a movie."
and the next month, I got a

515
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,476
show, or be in a movie."
and the next month, I got a
broadway show.

516
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,511
And the next month, I got a
broadway show.
So, when I look back on that,

517
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,513
broadway show.
So, when I look back on that,
I'm like, "what an [bleep] to

518
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,349
so, when I look back on that,
I'm like, "what an [bleep] to
say," but, you know, I feel like

519
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,252
I'm like, "what an [bleep] to
say," but, you know, I feel like
I put that energy out there, and

520
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,454
say," but, you know, I feel like
I put that energy out there, and
it came back.

521
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,656
I put that energy out there, and
it came back.
♪

522
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,392
it came back.
♪
even though [bleep] was

523
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,360
♪
even though [bleep] was
happening quickly, it wasn't

524
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,129
even though [bleep] was
happening quickly, it wasn't
happening quickly enough.

525
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,398
Happening quickly, it wasn't
happening quickly enough.
So, when I got my first broadway

526
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,666
happening quickly enough.
So, when I got my first broadway
show, I was in the ensemble, and

527
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:18,736
so, when I got my first broadway
show, I was in the ensemble, and
I was like, "okay, I'll do this

528
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,672
show, I was in the ensemble, and
I was like, "okay, I'll do this
for now, but this isn't gonna

529
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,374
I was like, "okay, I'll do this
for now, but this isn't gonna
last for long."

530
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,476
for now, but this isn't gonna
last for long."
so, I always had a little bit of

531
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,445
last for long."
so, I always had a little bit of
a chip on my shoulders, but it

532
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,413
so, I always had a little bit of
a chip on my shoulders, but it
was amazing.

533
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,181
A chip on my shoulders, but it
was amazing.
My first broadway show was

534
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,482
was amazing.
My first broadway show was
"carousel."

535
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,985
my first broadway show was
"carousel."
and, you know, won all the

536
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:34,852
"carousel."
and, you know, won all the
tonys.

537
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:37,455
And, you know, won all the
tonys.
It was -- I mean, I really feel

538
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,024
tonys.
It was -- I mean, I really feel
like, artistically speaking, I

539
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,627
it was -- I mean, I really feel
like, artistically speaking, I
lived a charmed life from tenth

540
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:46,164
like, artistically speaking, I
lived a charmed life from tenth
grade through -- yeah, for a

541
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,165
lived a charmed life from tenth
grade through -- yeah, for a
while.

542
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,367
Grade through -- yeah, for a
while.
♪

543
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,903
while.
♪
after "carousel," then I went

544
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,505
♪
after "carousel," then I went
away to japan because a friend

545
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,275
after "carousel," then I went
away to japan because a friend
of mine said that you could make

546
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,944
away to japan because a friend
of mine said that you could make
a lot of money at tokyo disney.

547
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,779
Of mine said that you could make
a lot of money at tokyo disney.
It was so trippy.

548
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,549
A lot of money at tokyo disney.
It was so trippy.
It was a full japanese theme

549
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,151
it was so trippy.
It was a full japanese theme
park, except for the face

550
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,987
it was a full japanese theme
park, except for the face
characters walking around and

551
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,423
park, except for the face
characters walking around and
two black dudes that were in --

552
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,892
characters walking around and
two black dudes that were in --
that we starred in a show called

553
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,727
two black dudes that were in --
that we starred in a show called
"sebastian's caribbean

554
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:17,728
that we starred in a show called
"sebastian's caribbean
carnival."

555
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,363
"sebastian's caribbean
carnival."
and we had, like...

556
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,364
Carnival."
and we had, like...
[ laughs ]

557
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,433
and we had, like...
[ laughs ]
...Like, a straw hat, and we

558
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,802
[ laughs ]
...Like, a straw hat, and we
would talk to sebastian the crab

559
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,737
...Like, a straw hat, and we
would talk to sebastian the crab
from "the little mermaid."

560
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,706
would talk to sebastian the crab
from "the little mermaid."
"ho-ho-ho. How you doing?"

561
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,609
from "the little mermaid."
"ho-ho-ho. How you doing?"
and we had to learn japanese and

562
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,011
"ho-ho-ho. How you doing?"
and we had to learn japanese and
come out and do the rumba.

563
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:36,681
And we had to learn japanese and
come out and do the rumba.
And I had bananas on my -- it

564
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,249
come out and do the rumba.
And I had bananas on my -- it
was ridiculous.

565
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,951
And I had bananas on my -- it
was ridiculous.
It was ridiculous!

566
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:42,453
Was ridiculous.
It was ridiculous!
Usually, like, theme parks --

567
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,688
it was ridiculous!
Usually, like, theme parks --
what was it?

568
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,990
Usually, like, theme parks --
what was it?
It was theme parks, summer

569
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,626
what was it?
It was theme parks, summer
stock, cruise ships -- that was

570
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,129
it was theme parks, summer
stock, cruise ships -- that was
what you did before broadway.

571
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,030
Stock, cruise ships -- that was
what you did before broadway.
So, my agent looked at me like I

572
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,765
what you did before broadway.
So, my agent looked at me like I
was crazy after I had already

573
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,567
so, my agent looked at me like I
was crazy after I had already
been on broadway but wanted to

574
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:56,968
was crazy after I had already
been on broadway but wanted to
go.

575
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,503
Been on broadway but wanted to
go.
I was all about having an

576
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,337
go.
I was all about having an
experience.

577
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,938
I was all about having an
experience.
I knew I was gonna still do my

578
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:01,439
experience.
I knew I was gonna still do my
thing.

579
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,141
I knew I was gonna still do my
thing.
So, I was like, "I want to go to

580
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:03,641
thing.
So, I was like, "I want to go to
japan.

581
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,309
So, I was like, "I want to go to
japan.
I want to put this bread away."

582
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,644
japan.
I want to put this bread away."
and she was like, "I don't know

583
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,045
I want to put this bread away."
and she was like, "I don't know
what's gonna happen when you get

584
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:08,446
and she was like, "I don't know
what's gonna happen when you get
back."

585
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,014
what's gonna happen when you get
back."
and I said, "I'll be fine."

586
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,482
back."
and I said, "I'll be fine."
and I got back and booked

587
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,083
and I said, "I'll be fine."
and I got back and booked
"rent."

588
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,818
and I got back and booked
"rent."
boom -- just like that.

589
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,020
"rent."
boom -- just like that.
I remember I didn't want to go

590
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,889
boom -- just like that.
I remember I didn't want to go
in for "rent," because in

591
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:20,024
I remember I didn't want to go
in for "rent," because in
new york, at the time, if you

592
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,326
in for "rent," because in
new york, at the time, if you
had any musicals on your résumé,

593
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,661
new york, at the time, if you
had any musicals on your résumé,
people thought you were

594
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,396
had any musicals on your résumé,
people thought you were
music theater instead of a real

595
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:25,930
people thought you were
music theater instead of a real
actor.

596
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,598
Music theater instead of a real
actor.
And I remember I was trying to

597
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,167
actor.
And I remember I was trying to
transition into tv and film.

598
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,768
And I remember I was trying to
transition into tv and film.
So, I told my agent, "I don't

599
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,470
transition into tv and film.
So, I told my agent, "I don't
want to go out for this thing."

600
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,172
so, I told my agent, "I don't
want to go out for this thing."
skipped the audition for "rent"

601
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:34,705
want to go out for this thing."
skipped the audition for "rent"
twice.

602
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,040
Skipped the audition for "rent"
twice.
And then she said, "you don't

603
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,441
twice.
And then she said, "you don't
have to do it, but just get in

604
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:38,876
and then she said, "you don't
have to do it, but just get in
front of this casting director

605
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,478
have to do it, but just get in
front of this casting director
so they can see you.

606
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,879
Front of this casting director
so they can see you.
Bernie telsey -- they're the

607
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,881
so they can see you.
Bernie telsey -- they're the
real deal."

608
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,583
bernie telsey -- they're the
real deal."
so, I go in, and I sing

609
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,718
real deal."
so, I go in, and I sing
whatever, whatever, and then I

610
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,920
so, I go in, and I sing
whatever, whatever, and then I
get a callback.

611
00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,988
Whatever, whatever, and then I
get a callback.
And as a performer, you know,

612
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,191
get a callback.
And as a performer, you know,
once you get that callback, you

613
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,525
and as a performer, you know,
once you get that callback, you
kind of raise up.

614
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,061
Once you get that callback, you
kind of raise up.
So, then, at the callback, I

615
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,397
kind of raise up.
So, then, at the callback, I
did my thing and got cast.

616
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,066
So, then, at the callback, I
did my thing and got cast.
But, once again, in "rent," you

617
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,635
did my thing and got cast.
But, once again, in "rent," you
know, I was very aware that I

618
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,637
but, once again, in "rent," you
know, I was very aware that I
had the smallest role.

619
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,407
Know, I was very aware that I
had the smallest role.
So, I was still waiting -- you

620
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,009
had the smallest role.
So, I was still waiting -- you
know what I mean? -- For the

621
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,311
so, I was still waiting -- you
know what I mean? -- For the
"big" break.

622
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,880
Know what I mean? -- For the
"big" break.
But it was in "rent," where I

623
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,516
"big" break.
But it was in "rent," where I
think angela bassett and I had

624
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:21,018
but it was in "rent," where I
think angela bassett and I had
the same agent at that time.

625
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,487
Think angela bassett and I had
the same agent at that time.
So, when the movie "how stella

626
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:26,057
the same agent at that time.
So, when the movie "how stella
got her groove back," when they

627
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,659
so, when the movie "how stella
got her groove back," when they
were holding auditions, my agent

628
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,861
got her groove back," when they
were holding auditions, my agent
had angela bassett come to

629
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:31,829
were holding auditions, my agent
had angela bassett come to
"rent."

630
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,564
had angela bassett come to
"rent."
and because my part wasn't

631
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,266
"rent."
and because my part wasn't
featured, really, I think

632
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,101
and because my part wasn't
featured, really, I think
angela bassett wasn't impressed.

633
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,869
Featured, really, I think
angela bassett wasn't impressed.
So, then, my agent -- oh, I was

634
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,004
angela bassett wasn't impressed.
So, then, my agent -- oh, I was
doing double duty.

635
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,038
So, then, my agent -- oh, I was
doing double duty.
I was in "rent."

636
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,440
doing double duty.
I was in "rent."
oh, I felt like the man.

637
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,208
I was in "rent."
oh, I felt like the man.
I was in "rent," and I was on a

638
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,211
oh, I felt like the man.
I was in "rent," and I was on a
soap opera, "guiding light."

639
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:49,614
I was in "rent," and I was on a
soap opera, "guiding light."
and I remember thinking I was

640
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,048
soap opera, "guiding light."
and I remember thinking I was
just doing it.

641
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,584
And I remember thinking I was
just doing it.
So, daytime I'd do the soap and

642
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,153
just doing it.
So, daytime I'd do the soap and
then travel downtown and be in

643
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:56,988
so, daytime I'd do the soap and
then travel downtown and be in
"rent."

644
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:59,590
then travel downtown and be in
"rent."
and my agent had tape of the

645
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,026
"rent."
and my agent had tape of the
character that I played on

646
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:04,562
and my agent had tape of the
character that I played on
"guiding light," and he was

647
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:05,496
character that I played on
"guiding light," and he was
smooth.

648
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,031
"guiding light," and he was
smooth.
And, you know, he was a fast

649
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:07,565
smooth.
And, you know, he was a fast
talker.

650
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,933
And, you know, he was a fast
talker.
He was a record producer.

651
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,401
Talker.
He was a record producer.
And my agent showed

652
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,403
he was a record producer.
And my agent showed
angela bassett that, and then

653
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,472
and my agent showed
angela bassett that, and then
she was like, "oh, okay, I get

654
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:15,006
angela bassett that, and then
she was like, "oh, okay, I get
it."

655
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:16,841
she was like, "oh, okay, I get
it."
so, then I got into the

656
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,876
it."
so, then I got into the
audition, got called back.

657
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,145
So, then I got into the
audition, got called back.
And I remember I had a screen

658
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:23,514
audition, got called back.
And I remember I had a screen
test with angela bassett, and I

659
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,416
and I remember I had a screen
test with angela bassett, and I
remember when they said,

660
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:27,852
test with angela bassett, and I
remember when they said,
"action" -- oh, my god -- I went

661
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,655
remember when they said,
"action" -- oh, my god -- I went
blank.

662
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:31,922
"action" -- oh, my god -- I went
blank.
And I was holding

663
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,858
blank.
And I was holding
angela bassett's hand, and I

664
00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:35,993
and I was holding
angela bassett's hand, and I
remember her just taking my hand

665
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,762
angela bassett's hand, and I
remember her just taking my hand
and just squeezing it and

666
00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:39,730
remember her just taking my hand
and just squeezing it and
saying, like -- I was feeling

667
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,699
and just squeezing it and
saying, like -- I was feeling
her saying, like, "it's okay.

668
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:42,700
Saying, like -- I was feeling
her saying, like, "it's okay.
Just relax."

669
00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:45,703
her saying, like, "it's okay.
Just relax."
and I remember I just looked at

670
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:48,673
just relax."
and I remember I just looked at
her, and then the lines started

671
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:51,509
and I remember I just looked at
her, and then the lines started
to come, and then I was cool.

672
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:54,178
Her, and then the lines started
to come, and then I was cool.
But ooh, for a minute there, it

673
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,913
to come, and then I was cool.
But ooh, for a minute there, it
was rough.

674
00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:57,848
But ooh, for a minute there, it
was rough.
♪

675
00:21:57,850 --> 00:22:00,518
was rough.
♪
working with angela bassett and

676
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,820
♪
working with angela bassett and
whoopi goldberg -- I mean,

677
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,256
working with angela bassett and
whoopi goldberg -- I mean,
regina king was in it, yeah.

678
00:22:05,258 --> 00:22:07,725
Whoopi goldberg -- I mean,
regina king was in it, yeah.
As far as myself and where I

679
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,161
regina king was in it, yeah.
As far as myself and where I
wanted to be, finally, I was

680
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,763
as far as myself and where I
wanted to be, finally, I was
able to say, "okay, now you're

681
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:13,831
wanted to be, finally, I was
able to say, "okay, now you're
here."

682
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,501
able to say, "okay, now you're
here."
so, it was a combination of

683
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:21,038
here."
so, it was a combination of
being so excited, terribly

684
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:25,176
so, it was a combination of
being so excited, terribly
grateful, but realizing, "okay,

685
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,177
being so excited, terribly
grateful, but realizing, "okay,
now let's go to work."

686
00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,411
grateful, but realizing, "okay,
now let's go to work."
this is where my story really

687
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:27,878
now let's go to work."
this is where my story really
begins, right here.

688
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:36,554
♪
>> diggs: Seeing tyson beckford
in the magazines -- you know,

689
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,723
>> diggs: Seeing tyson beckford
in the magazines -- you know,
dark-skinned, shaved head,

690
00:22:38,725 --> 00:22:41,125
in the magazines -- you know,
dark-skinned, shaved head,
muscular -- that look gave me

691
00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:42,093
dark-skinned, shaved head,
muscular -- that look gave me
something to strive towards

692
00:22:42,095 --> 00:22:43,194
muscular -- that look gave me
something to strive towards
because you didn't see a lot of

693
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:44,462
something to strive towards
because you didn't see a lot of
that coming up.

694
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:48,032
Because you didn't see a lot of
that coming up.
Yeah, so, I really feel like I

695
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:51,469
that coming up.
Yeah, so, I really feel like I
owe -- and I'm cool with him.

696
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:53,738
Yeah, so, I really feel like I
owe -- and I'm cool with him.
I remind him of it all the time.

697
00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:56,140
Owe -- and I'm cool with him.
I remind him of it all the time.
♪

698
00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:59,410
I remind him of it all the time.
♪
I mean, I felt as good-looking

699
00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:01,579
♪
I mean, I felt as good-looking
as my mom told me.

700
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,481
I mean, I felt as good-looking
as my mom told me.
You know, when I was younger, I

701
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,282
as my mom told me.
You know, when I was younger, I
would go in the mirror and try

702
00:23:05,284 --> 00:23:07,118
you know, when I was younger, I
would go in the mirror and try
to get my nose to be skinnier

703
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,853
would go in the mirror and try
to get my nose to be skinnier
and wonder what it was like to

704
00:23:08,855 --> 00:23:10,221
to get my nose to be skinnier
and wonder what it was like to
have straighter hair.

705
00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:13,557
And wonder what it was like to
have straighter hair.
But I have a trust issue with

706
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:16,894
have straighter hair.
But I have a trust issue with
the public because I consider

707
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:20,231
but I have a trust issue with
the public because I consider
myself feeling very sensitive

708
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:22,867
the public because I consider
myself feeling very sensitive
but also hyperlogical.

709
00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:25,536
Myself feeling very sensitive
but also hyperlogical.
So, after I was [bleep] in

710
00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:28,372
but also hyperlogical.
So, after I was [bleep] in
jamaica, you know, I got all

711
00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:31,208
so, after I was [bleep] in
jamaica, you know, I got all
this attention because I was

712
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,910
jamaica, you know, I got all
this attention because I was
this lead role.

713
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:34,812
This attention because I was
this lead role.
I come back to new york city,

714
00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:36,881
this lead role.
I come back to new york city,
and, you know, once you finish a

715
00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:38,883
I come back to new york city,
and, you know, once you finish a
film, you got to wait for it to

716
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,484
and, you know, once you finish a
film, you got to wait for it to
be edited and whatnot.

717
00:23:40,486 --> 00:23:42,686
Film, you got to wait for it to
be edited and whatnot.
And I would go out to the clubs,

718
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,422
be edited and whatnot.
And I would go out to the clubs,
and I would get no play.

719
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:45,823
And I would go out to the clubs,
and I would get no play.
So, this was a little bit of a

720
00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:47,291
and I would get no play.
So, this was a little bit of a
mind [bleep] because I was like,

721
00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:48,759
so, this was a little bit of a
mind [bleep] because I was like,
"well, I was [bleep] in jamaica.

722
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:49,760
Mind [bleep] because I was like,
"well, I was [bleep] in jamaica.
I look the same way.

723
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:50,628
"well, I was [bleep] in jamaica.
I look the same way.
What's going on?"

724
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:53,497
I look the same way.
What's going on?"
so, there was a disconnect.

725
00:23:53,499 --> 00:23:55,733
What's going on?"
so, there was a disconnect.
The day after the movie came

726
00:23:55,735 --> 00:23:57,968
so, there was a disconnect.
The day after the movie came
out, there was a difference.

727
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,537
The day after the movie came
out, there was a difference.
And people were speaking to me

728
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:00,404
out, there was a difference.
And people were speaking to me
on the street.

729
00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:01,939
And people were speaking to me
on the street.
So, from that point on, I was

730
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,575
on the street.
So, from that point on, I was
like, "hmm, maybe it's not me.

731
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:06,544
So, from that point on, I was
like, "hmm, maybe it's not me.
It's this character."

732
00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:09,280
like, "hmm, maybe it's not me.
It's this character."
so, I've never really trusted,

733
00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:11,682
it's this character."
so, I've never really trusted,
"hey, heartthrob..." and...

734
00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:14,118
So, I've never really trusted,
"hey, heartthrob..." and...
Alright, well, you call me what

735
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,019
"hey, heartthrob..." and...
Alright, well, you call me what
you want.

736
00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,254
Alright, well, you call me what
you want.
Yeah, yeah, so, it's still an

737
00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:18,289
you want.
Yeah, yeah, so, it's still an
issue.

738
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:20,024
Yeah, yeah, so, it's still an
issue.
♪

739
00:24:20,026 --> 00:24:21,725
issue.
♪
yes, after "how stella got her

740
00:24:21,727 --> 00:24:23,461
♪
yes, after "how stella got her
groove back," there was a movie

741
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:25,129
yes, after "how stella got her
groove back," there was a movie
called "go," which at the time

742
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,730
groove back," there was a movie
called "go," which at the time
was considered like a white

743
00:24:26,732 --> 00:24:27,264
called "go," which at the time
was considered like a white
movie.

744
00:24:27,266 --> 00:24:28,999
Was considered like a white
movie.
So, I wanted to make sure I got

745
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:30,734
movie.
So, I wanted to make sure I got
as many of those under my belt,

746
00:24:30,736 --> 00:24:31,735
so, I wanted to make sure I got
as many of those under my belt,
as well.

747
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:33,137
As many of those under my belt,
as well.
I want to be "famous" famous.

748
00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:34,638
As well.
I want to be "famous" famous.
So, let's do whatever I need to

749
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:34,972
I want to be "famous" famous.
So, let's do whatever I need to
do.

750
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:39,176
So, let's do whatever I need to
do.
So, I did, I think "go" and

751
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:42,046
do.
So, I did, I think "go" and
then "the wood."

752
00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:44,849
so, I did, I think "go" and
then "the wood."
and "the wood" was

753
00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:47,318
then "the wood."
and "the wood" was
rick famuyiwa directing.

754
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,321
And "the wood" was
rick famuyiwa directing.
Omar epps I was a huge fan of,

755
00:24:50,323 --> 00:24:52,890
rick famuyiwa directing.
Omar epps I was a huge fan of,
but, also, because of his

756
00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:56,060
omar epps I was a huge fan of,
but, also, because of his
characters, I was scared of him.

757
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:57,428
But, also, because of his
characters, I was scared of him.
And I immediately assumed, "oh,

758
00:24:57,430 --> 00:24:58,829
characters, I was scared of him.
And I immediately assumed, "oh,
he's gonna be one of these cats

759
00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:00,231
and I immediately assumed, "oh,
he's gonna be one of these cats
that calls me white boy or makes

760
00:25:00,233 --> 00:25:00,698
he's gonna be one of these cats
that calls me white boy or makes
fun..."

761
00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:02,800
that calls me white boy or makes
fun..."
and he was the exact opposite.

762
00:25:02,802 --> 00:25:04,902
Fun..."
and he was the exact opposite.
And that was my first, my real

763
00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:06,837
and he was the exact opposite.
And that was my first, my real
first, experience of "okay,

764
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:09,073
and that was my first, my real
first, experience of "okay,
don't go in -- if you don't know

765
00:25:09,075 --> 00:25:11,008
first, experience of "okay,
don't go in -- if you don't know
these cats, don't go into a

766
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,677
don't go in -- if you don't know
these cats, don't go into a
situation making assumptions,"

767
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:16,280
these cats, don't go into a
situation making assumptions,"
because that didn't serve me.

768
00:25:16,282 --> 00:25:19,216
Situation making assumptions,"
because that didn't serve me.
So, we laughed all day, every

769
00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:21,385
because that didn't serve me.
So, we laughed all day, every
day -- me, richard,.

770
00:25:21,387 --> 00:25:23,988
So, we laughed all day, every
day -- me, richard,.
Yeah, and these cats were

771
00:25:23,990 --> 00:25:26,390
day -- me, richard,.
Yeah, and these cats were
even more talented than I

772
00:25:26,392 --> 00:25:29,827
yeah, and these cats were
even more talented than I
thought, because I hadn't seen

773
00:25:29,829 --> 00:25:32,329
even more talented than I
thought, because I hadn't seen
these cats be funny.

774
00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:35,966
Thought, because I hadn't seen
these cats be funny.
And it was -- with "stella,"

775
00:25:35,968 --> 00:25:39,503
these cats be funny.
And it was -- with "stella,"
everything was by the book.

776
00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:41,772
And it was -- with "stella,"
everything was by the book.
And if it wasn't by the book, it

777
00:25:41,774 --> 00:25:43,707
everything was by the book.
And if it wasn't by the book, it
was the director's request.

778
00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:45,943
And if it wasn't by the book, it
was the director's request.
But on "the wood," rick just let

779
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:48,212
was the director's request.
But on "the wood," rick just let
us do our thing, and that's when

780
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:54,084
but on "the wood," rick just let
us do our thing, and that's when
I fell in love with comedy.

781
00:25:54,086 --> 00:25:56,654
Us do our thing, and that's when
I fell in love with comedy.
♪

782
00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:58,389
I fell in love with comedy.
♪
and then the cast of

783
00:25:58,391 --> 00:26:00,958
♪
and then the cast of
"the best man" -- yeah, that's a

784
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,693
and then the cast of
"the best man" -- yeah, that's a
life-changing thing.

785
00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:05,262
"the best man" -- yeah, that's a
life-changing thing.
That's when I realized I was the

786
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:06,330
life-changing thing.
That's when I realized I was the
flavor of the month.

787
00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:07,431
That's when I realized I was the
flavor of the month.
You know what I mean?

788
00:26:07,433 --> 00:26:09,266
Flavor of the month.
You know what I mean?
I was like -- I didn't realize

789
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,168
you know what I mean?
I was like -- I didn't realize
it at the time, but after that.

790
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:13,103
I was like -- I didn't realize
it at the time, but after that.
Then it was like, "oh, I was the

791
00:26:13,105 --> 00:26:13,804
it at the time, but after that.
Then it was like, "oh, I was the
new guy.

792
00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:15,072
Then it was like, "oh, I was the
new guy.
I was the new guy."

793
00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:16,707
new guy.
I was the new guy."
we all just melded so well

794
00:26:16,709 --> 00:26:17,441
I was the new guy."
we all just melded so well
together.

795
00:26:17,443 --> 00:26:19,209
We all just melded so well
together.
They didn't make me feel like

796
00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:20,110
together.
They didn't make me feel like
the new guy.

797
00:26:20,112 --> 00:26:22,413
They didn't make me feel like
the new guy.
You know what I mean?

798
00:26:22,415 --> 00:26:25,549
The new guy.
You know what I mean?
Nia long was -- everybody was,

799
00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:26,684
you know what I mean?
Nia long was -- everybody was,
yeah, morris chestnut was cool,

800
00:26:26,686 --> 00:26:27,851
nia long was -- everybody was,
yeah, morris chestnut was cool,
really, really cool.

801
00:26:27,853 --> 00:26:29,553
Yeah, morris chestnut was cool,
really, really cool.
I didn't think that I would vibe

802
00:26:29,555 --> 00:26:31,221
really, really cool.
I didn't think that I would vibe
with as many of these actors as

803
00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:32,356
I didn't think that I would vibe
with as many of these actors as
I did.

804
00:26:32,358 --> 00:26:33,657
With as many of these actors as
I did.
You know what I mean?

805
00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:36,060
I did.
You know what I mean?
The ways that I thought I was

806
00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:38,429
you know what I mean?
The ways that I thought I was
kind of different and weird,

807
00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:40,764
the ways that I thought I was
kind of different and weird,
they had their weirdness, as

808
00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:41,465
kind of different and weird,
they had their weirdness, as
well.

809
00:26:41,467 --> 00:26:43,133
They had their weirdness, as
well.
You know what I mean?

810
00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:45,302
Well.
You know what I mean?
And working with them made me

811
00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:47,438
you know what I mean?
And working with them made me
feel better about myself and

812
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,740
and working with them made me
feel better about myself and
allowed me to be more confident

813
00:26:49,742 --> 00:26:51,875
feel better about myself and
allowed me to be more confident
in who I was as a person, which

814
00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:54,244
allowed me to be more confident
in who I was as a person, which
ended up helping me as an actor.

815
00:26:54,246 --> 00:26:55,913
In who I was as a person, which
ended up helping me as an actor.
You know what I mean?

816
00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:58,215
Ended up helping me as an actor.
You know what I mean?
And I think that's one of the

817
00:26:58,217 --> 00:27:00,684
you know what I mean?
And I think that's one of the
wonderful things about the arts.

818
00:27:00,686 --> 00:27:03,053
And I think that's one of the
wonderful things about the arts.
It allows people to, you know,

819
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:05,489
wonderful things about the arts.
It allows people to, you know,
when the atmosphere is safe, it

820
00:27:05,491 --> 00:27:07,224
it allows people to, you know,
when the atmosphere is safe, it
allows you to really be

821
00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:08,525
when the atmosphere is safe, it
allows you to really be
yourself.

822
00:27:08,527 --> 00:27:10,361
Allows you to really be
yourself.
♪

823
00:27:10,363 --> 00:27:13,464
yourself.
♪
ah, the infamous slap --

824
00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:16,433
♪
ah, the infamous slap --
"best man" slap, me and

825
00:27:16,435 --> 00:27:17,935
ah, the infamous slap --
"best man" slap, me and
nia long.

826
00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:19,837
"best man" slap, me and
nia long.
I will tell you this.

827
00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:21,505
Nia long.
I will tell you this.
Yeah, it was real.

828
00:27:21,507 --> 00:27:22,740
I will tell you this.
Yeah, it was real.
It was real.

829
00:27:22,742 --> 00:27:24,742
Yeah, it was real.
It was real.
The reaction was real.

830
00:27:24,744 --> 00:27:27,344
It was real.
The reaction was real.
I did not know she was going to

831
00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:28,312
the reaction was real.
I did not know she was going to
do that.

832
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:30,781
I did not know she was going to
do that.
And at the time, because, you

833
00:27:30,783 --> 00:27:32,983
do that.
And at the time, because, you
know, I come from theater

834
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:35,686
and at the time, because, you
know, I come from theater
school, where they promote being

835
00:27:35,688 --> 00:27:38,656
know, I come from theater
school, where they promote being
prepared and rehearsing, and you

836
00:27:38,658 --> 00:27:41,392
school, where they promote being
prepared and rehearsing, and you
don't do anything unless both

837
00:27:41,394 --> 00:27:43,160
prepared and rehearsing, and you
don't do anything unless both
actors feel safe.

838
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,963
Don't do anything unless both
actors feel safe.
And I remember being appalled.

839
00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:48,799
Actors feel safe.
And I remember being appalled.
But in hindsight it worked.

840
00:27:48,801 --> 00:27:51,435
And I remember being appalled.
But in hindsight it worked.
I'm glad that she did it.

841
00:27:51,437 --> 00:27:54,538
But in hindsight it worked.
I'm glad that she did it.
I'm glad that malcolm kept it.

842
00:27:54,540 --> 00:27:57,141
I'm glad that she did it.
I'm glad that malcolm kept it.
But after the slap, I expected

843
00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:59,843
I'm glad that malcolm kept it.
But after the slap, I expected
malcolm to be like, "okay, cut!

844
00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:00,911
But after the slap, I expected
malcolm to be like, "okay, cut!
Guys, done.

845
00:28:00,913 --> 00:28:02,946
Malcolm to be like, "okay, cut!
Guys, done.
Nia, what are you doing?"

846
00:28:02,948 --> 00:28:04,782
guys, done.
Nia, what are you doing?"
and there was nothing.

847
00:28:04,784 --> 00:28:06,050
Nia, what are you doing?"
and there was nothing.
I got slapped.

848
00:28:06,052 --> 00:28:07,384
And there was nothing.
I got slapped.
I went, "whoo!"

849
00:28:07,386 --> 00:28:09,553
I got slapped.
I went, "whoo!"
and I expected them to cut.

850
00:28:09,555 --> 00:28:10,788
I went, "whoo!"
and I expected them to cut.
And they didn't.

851
00:28:10,790 --> 00:28:12,856
And I expected them to cut.
And they didn't.
So, I forced myself to stay in

852
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:13,323
and they didn't.
So, I forced myself to stay in
it.

853
00:28:13,325 --> 00:28:15,659
So, I forced myself to stay in
it.
And I remember staying in

854
00:28:15,661 --> 00:28:18,195
it.
And I remember staying in
character, but inside, like,

855
00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:20,364
and I remember staying in
character, but inside, like,
"what is going on here?

856
00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:23,000
Character, but inside, like,
"what is going on here?
What type of a show is this?"

857
00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:25,002
"what is going on here?
What type of a show is this?"
you know what I mean?

858
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:27,137
What type of a show is this?"
you know what I mean?
I felt -- at that moment, I just

859
00:28:27,139 --> 00:28:28,972
you know what I mean?
I felt -- at that moment, I just
felt, I had been so kind of

860
00:28:28,974 --> 00:28:31,041
I felt -- at that moment, I just
felt, I had been so kind of
coddled up to that point, where

861
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:32,976
felt, I had been so kind of
coddled up to that point, where
all of a sudden I just didn't

862
00:28:32,978 --> 00:28:34,244
coddled up to that point, where
all of a sudden I just didn't
feel, like, safe.

863
00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:35,746
All of a sudden I just didn't
feel, like, safe.
You know what I mean?

864
00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,815
Feel, like, safe.
You know what I mean?
I was like, "well, what -- what

865
00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:39,950
you know what I mean?
I was like, "well, what -- what
else is gonna happen on set that

866
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:41,652
I was like, "well, what -- what
else is gonna happen on set that
I'm not gonna know about?

867
00:28:41,654 --> 00:28:43,153
Else is gonna happen on set that
I'm not gonna know about?
You know what I mean?

868
00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:46,390
I'm not gonna know about?
You know what I mean?
I'm very dramatic.

869
00:28:46,392 --> 00:28:48,459
You know what I mean?
I'm very dramatic.
It was fine, but, you know, I

870
00:28:48,461 --> 00:28:49,193
I'm very dramatic.
It was fine, but, you know, I
get it.

871
00:28:49,195 --> 00:28:51,428
It was fine, but, you know, I
get it.
When you want something to work,

872
00:28:51,430 --> 00:28:53,130
get it.
When you want something to work,
you do what you need to do to

873
00:28:53,132 --> 00:28:53,731
when you want something to work,
you do what you need to do to
get it.

874
00:28:53,733 --> 00:28:54,198
You do what you need to do to
get it.
And he got it. So...

875
00:29:00,138 --> 00:29:04,908
>> diggs: Being married and
considered a heartthrob was
complicated.

876
00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:08,011
Considered a heartthrob was
complicated.
You know, the whole married to a

877
00:29:08,013 --> 00:29:10,781
complicated.
You know, the whole married to a
white girl, but, then, being

878
00:29:10,783 --> 00:29:12,983
you know, the whole married to a
white girl, but, then, being
appreciated in the black

879
00:29:12,985 --> 00:29:14,151
white girl, but, then, being
appreciated in the black
community.

880
00:29:14,153 --> 00:29:16,587
Appreciated in the black
community.
It was just so much, that I

881
00:29:16,589 --> 00:29:19,423
community.
It was just so much, that I
would try to just focus on work,

882
00:29:19,425 --> 00:29:21,792
it was just so much, that I
would try to just focus on work,
work and what was in my

883
00:29:21,794 --> 00:29:23,660
would try to just focus on work,
work and what was in my
immediate circle.

884
00:29:23,662 --> 00:29:25,195
Work and what was in my
immediate circle.
I will say this.

885
00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:27,731
Immediate circle.
I will say this.
I never really relaxed into it.

886
00:29:27,733 --> 00:29:29,633
I will say this.
I never really relaxed into it.
You know what I mean?

887
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:32,636
I never really relaxed into it.
You know what I mean?
And I was way too high-strung

888
00:29:32,638 --> 00:29:35,439
you know what I mean?
And I was way too high-strung
and aware and in my head to

889
00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:37,474
and I was way too high-strung
and aware and in my head to
really relax into it.

890
00:29:37,476 --> 00:29:40,310
And aware and in my head to
really relax into it.
And, you know, there was always

891
00:29:40,312 --> 00:29:43,046
really relax into it.
And, you know, there was always
that idea of okay, I wanted to

892
00:29:43,048 --> 00:29:44,948
and, you know, there was always
that idea of okay, I wanted to
be like will smith.

893
00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:46,383
That idea of okay, I wanted to
be like will smith.
You know what I mean?

894
00:29:46,385 --> 00:29:48,185
Be like will smith.
You know what I mean?
I wanted to be like denzel.

895
00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:50,320
You know what I mean?
I wanted to be like denzel.
And, you know, just the way I

896
00:29:50,322 --> 00:29:52,389
I wanted to be like denzel.
And, you know, just the way I
came up, and I had such high

897
00:29:52,391 --> 00:29:54,224
and, you know, just the way I
came up, and I had such high
expectations for myself.

898
00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:55,859
Came up, and I had such high
expectations for myself.
I never really, truly

899
00:29:55,861 --> 00:29:57,995
expectations for myself.
I never really, truly
appreciated where I was.

900
00:29:57,997 --> 00:30:00,330
I never really, truly
appreciated where I was.
So, any accolades that I would

901
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:02,699
appreciated where I was.
So, any accolades that I would
get, I would only give partial

902
00:30:02,701 --> 00:30:05,102
so, any accolades that I would
get, I would only give partial
value to because I wasn't where

903
00:30:05,104 --> 00:30:06,703
get, I would only give partial
value to because I wasn't where
I wanted to be yet.

904
00:30:06,705 --> 00:30:09,506
Value to because I wasn't where
I wanted to be yet.
And if I could do all of it

905
00:30:09,508 --> 00:30:11,675
I wanted to be yet.
And if I could do all of it
over, I would appreciate that

906
00:30:11,677 --> 00:30:12,309
and if I could do all of it
over, I would appreciate that
more.

907
00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:13,911
Over, I would appreciate that
more.
I appreciate it now.

908
00:30:13,913 --> 00:30:15,712
More.
I appreciate it now.
But I would have appreciated it

909
00:30:15,714 --> 00:30:18,115
I appreciate it now.
But I would have appreciated it
the moment.

910
00:30:18,117 --> 00:30:20,317
But I would have appreciated it
the moment.
♪

911
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,119
the moment.
♪
here's the thing.

912
00:30:22,121 --> 00:30:24,788
♪
here's the thing.
Like, I always knew she was

913
00:30:24,790 --> 00:30:26,356
here's the thing.
Like, I always knew she was
gonna make it.

914
00:30:26,358 --> 00:30:29,159
Like, I always knew she was
gonna make it.
So, I would tell her, and she

915
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:32,129
gonna make it.
So, I would tell her, and she
knew that she had what it took.

916
00:30:32,131 --> 00:30:34,464
So, I would tell her, and she
knew that she had what it took.
But I wanted her to have more

917
00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:36,700
knew that she had what it took.
But I wanted her to have more
confidence in herself.

918
00:30:36,702 --> 00:30:39,503
But I wanted her to have more
confidence in herself.
So, I always felt like I was,

919
00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:42,306
confidence in herself.
So, I always felt like I was,
you know, trying to encourage

920
00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:43,674
so, I always felt like I was,
you know, trying to encourage
and prop her up.

921
00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:46,109
You know, trying to encourage
and prop her up.
And it was like every show I saw

922
00:30:46,111 --> 00:30:48,278
and prop her up.
And it was like every show I saw
her in, she'd have a feature

923
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,614
and it was like every show I saw
her in, she'd have a feature
song, and she would murder that

924
00:30:50,616 --> 00:30:51,281
her in, she'd have a feature
song, and she would murder that
song.

925
00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:52,816
Song, and she would murder that
song.
But then the next show, it would

926
00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:54,251
song.
But then the next show, it would
be even more dramatic and even

927
00:30:54,253 --> 00:30:54,751
but then the next show, it would
be even more dramatic and even
higher.

928
00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:56,553
Be even more dramatic and even
higher.
Then she'd murder that.

929
00:30:56,555 --> 00:30:58,755
Higher.
Then she'd murder that.
And then, when "wicked" came,

930
00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:00,991
then she'd murder that.
And then, when "wicked" came,
she would practice in front of

931
00:31:00,993 --> 00:31:03,193
and then, when "wicked" came,
she would practice in front of
me, and I remember just being

932
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:05,462
she would practice in front of
me, and I remember just being
like, "okay, this is -- nobody

933
00:31:05,464 --> 00:31:07,130
me, and I remember just being
like, "okay, this is -- nobody
can [bleep] with you.

934
00:31:07,132 --> 00:31:09,399
Like, "okay, this is -- nobody
can [bleep] with you.
That song you just sang?

935
00:31:09,401 --> 00:31:11,401
Can [bleep] with you.
That song you just sang?
You will win a tony."

936
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:12,736
that song you just sang?
You will win a tony."
and she did.

937
00:31:12,738 --> 00:31:14,771
You will win a tony."
and she did.
But even to this day, I feel

938
00:31:14,773 --> 00:31:17,074
and she did.
But even to this day, I feel
like she still doesn't really --

939
00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:18,008
but even to this day, I feel
like she still doesn't really --
she's bad.

940
00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:19,176
Like she still doesn't really --
she's bad.
You know what I mean?

941
00:31:19,178 --> 00:31:21,278
She's bad.
You know what I mean?
And I feel like when we

942
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,047
you know what I mean?
And I feel like when we
divorced, she blew up -- I mean,

943
00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:26,450
and I feel like when we
divorced, she blew up -- I mean,
"blew up" blew up, not just

944
00:31:26,452 --> 00:31:29,052
divorced, she blew up -- I mean,
"blew up" blew up, not just
music-theater blew up, because

945
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:31,688
"blew up" blew up, not just
music-theater blew up, because
she was already a known figure

946
00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:33,523
music-theater blew up, because
she was already a known figure
in the music-theater world.

947
00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:36,226
She was already a known figure
in the music-theater world.
But after "frozen" and the song

948
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:38,862
in the music-theater world.
But after "frozen" and the song
"let it go," that popped right

949
00:31:38,864 --> 00:31:40,597
but after "frozen" and the song
"let it go," that popped right
after our divorce.

950
00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:43,300
"let it go," that popped right
after our divorce.
And I was happy for her, but it

951
00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:46,069
after our divorce.
And I was happy for her, but it
was awful to just hear that song

952
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:47,104
and I was happy for her, but it
was awful to just hear that song
constantly.

953
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:49,239
Was awful to just hear that song
constantly.
It was everything that I had

954
00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:51,608
constantly.
It was everything that I had
wanted but at the absolute worst

955
00:31:51,610 --> 00:31:52,576
it was everything that I had
wanted but at the absolute worst
time.

956
00:31:52,578 --> 00:31:54,244
Wanted but at the absolute worst
time.
You know what I mean?

957
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:56,680
Time.
You know what I mean?
And just a reminder...

958
00:31:56,682 --> 00:31:58,582
You know what I mean?
And just a reminder...
Oh, it waswful.

959
00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:00,918
And just a reminder...
Oh, it waswful.
"let it go."

960
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,921
oh, it waswful.
"let it go."
let it go.

961
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,723
"let it go."
let it go.
I remember after we had decided

962
00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:09,526
let it go.
I remember after we had decided
to split, we went the mediation

963
00:32:09,528 --> 00:32:10,360
I remember after we had decided
to split, we went the mediation
route.

964
00:32:10,362 --> 00:32:12,863
To split, we went the mediation
route.
So, we -- oh, it was awful.

965
00:32:12,865 --> 00:32:15,432
Route.
So, we -- oh, it was awful.
In a room, this dude I don't

966
00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:18,302
so, we -- oh, it was awful.
In a room, this dude I don't
know, this woman who I feel like

967
00:32:18,304 --> 00:32:20,938
in a room, this dude I don't
know, this woman who I feel like
I don't know anymore, talking

968
00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:23,507
know, this woman who I feel like
I don't know anymore, talking
about when I can see my son.

969
00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:26,376
I don't know anymore, talking
about when I can see my son.
And it all worked out fine, but,

970
00:32:26,378 --> 00:32:28,111
about when I can see my son.
And it all worked out fine, but,
you know, you never imagine

971
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,880
and it all worked out fine, but,
you know, you never imagine
yourself trying to negotiate

972
00:32:29,882 --> 00:32:31,715
you know, you never imagine
yourself trying to negotiate
when you can see your son and

973
00:32:31,717 --> 00:32:33,216
yourself trying to negotiate
when you can see your son and
what you're paying for.

974
00:32:33,218 --> 00:32:35,986
When you can see your son and
what you're paying for.
Then we got cool, and we got on

975
00:32:35,988 --> 00:32:37,454
what you're paying for.
Then we got cool, and we got on
the same page.

976
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,223
Then we got cool, and we got on
the same page.
Didn't take us long, because it

977
00:32:40,225 --> 00:32:42,859
the same page.
Didn't take us long, because it
was all about walker, and now

978
00:32:42,861 --> 00:32:44,928
didn't take us long, because it
was all about walker, and now
we're joint-parenting.

979
00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:46,997
Was all about walker, and now
we're joint-parenting.
We got a great stepdad.

980
00:32:46,999 --> 00:32:47,331
We're joint-parenting.
We got a great stepdad.
We're cool.

981
00:32:50,068 --> 00:32:59,443
♪
>> diggs: Up to a certain point,
what had worked for me was

982
00:32:59,445 --> 00:33:01,678
>> diggs: Up to a certain point,
what had worked for me was
rehearse and perform and

983
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,646
what had worked for me was
rehearse and perform and
achieve.

984
00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:04,648
Rehearse and perform and
achieve.
You know what I mean?

985
00:33:04,650 --> 00:33:06,049
Achieve.
You know what I mean?
You can't do any of those

986
00:33:06,051 --> 00:33:07,784
you know what I mean?
You can't do any of those
without that which comes before.

987
00:33:07,786 --> 00:33:09,353
You can't do any of those
without that which comes before.
It had worked with my career,

988
00:33:09,355 --> 00:33:11,455
without that which comes before.
It had worked with my career,
with my love life, with

989
00:33:11,457 --> 00:33:13,357
it had worked with my career,
with my love life, with
marriage, with kids.

990
00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:14,825
With my love life, with
marriage, with kids.
Everything was working.

991
00:33:14,827 --> 00:33:16,193
Marriage, with kids.
Everything was working.
You know what I mean?

992
00:33:16,195 --> 00:33:18,161
Everything was working.
You know what I mean?
I thought -- I would think about

993
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:18,562
you know what I mean?
I thought -- I would think about
it.

994
00:33:18,564 --> 00:33:20,364
I thought -- I would think about
it.
It needs to be done this way.

995
00:33:20,366 --> 00:33:22,699
It.
It needs to be done this way.
Put yourself in this position.

996
00:33:22,701 --> 00:33:24,768
It needs to be done this way.
Put yourself in this position.
Do this for this amount of

997
00:33:24,770 --> 00:33:25,502
put yourself in this position.
Do this for this amount of
years.

998
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:27,571
Do this for this amount of
years.
And then you get this product.

999
00:33:27,573 --> 00:33:29,506
Years.
And then you get this product.
But then, after the divorce,

1000
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,108
and then you get this product.
But then, after the divorce,
all of that went to [bleep]

1001
00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:32,809
but then, after the divorce,
all of that went to [bleep]
so, it was a really -- it felt

1002
00:33:32,811 --> 00:33:33,643
all of that went to [bleep]
so, it was a really -- it felt
like it did.

1003
00:33:33,645 --> 00:33:36,146
So, it was a really -- it felt
like it did.
So, I didn't know being a father

1004
00:33:36,148 --> 00:33:37,414
like it did.
So, I didn't know being a father
was different.

1005
00:33:37,416 --> 00:33:39,016
So, I didn't know being a father
was different.
I wasn't a husband.

1006
00:33:39,018 --> 00:33:41,385
Was different.
I wasn't a husband.
Didn't want to be a boyfriend,

1007
00:33:41,387 --> 00:33:42,252
I wasn't a husband.
Didn't want to be a boyfriend,
you know?

1008
00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:44,521
Didn't want to be a boyfriend,
you know?
So, I was forced to kind of just

1009
00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:46,723
you know?
So, I was forced to kind of just
roll with the punches, and that

1010
00:33:46,725 --> 00:33:48,892
so, I was forced to kind of just
roll with the punches, and that
was one of the best lessons of

1011
00:33:48,894 --> 00:33:52,129
roll with the punches, and that
was one of the best lessons of
life, because I feel like that's

1012
00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:55,265
was one of the best lessons of
life, because I feel like that's
what life is, kind of taking it

1013
00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:58,535
life, because I feel like that's
what life is, kind of taking it
as it comes and being able to

1014
00:33:58,537 --> 00:33:59,603
what life is, kind of taking it
as it comes and being able to
adapt.

1015
00:33:59,605 --> 00:34:01,405
As it comes and being able to
adapt.
♪

1016
00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:03,340
adapt.
♪
after a while, I thought I

1017
00:34:03,342 --> 00:34:05,208
♪
after a while, I thought I
wasn't gonna get married.

1018
00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:07,210
After a while, I thought I
wasn't gonna get married.
A couple of girlfriends -- you

1019
00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:09,479
wasn't gonna get married.
A couple of girlfriends -- you
know, I thought I'd marry them.

1020
00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:10,981
A couple of girlfriends -- you
know, I thought I'd marry them.
It didn't work out.

1021
00:34:10,983 --> 00:34:13,483
Know, I thought I'd marry them.
It didn't work out.
But, then, you know, [bleep]

1022
00:34:13,485 --> 00:34:16,286
it didn't work out.
But, then, you know, [bleep]
changes, and, yeah, just [bleep]

1023
00:34:16,288 --> 00:34:17,721
but, then, you know, [bleep]
changes, and, yeah, just [bleep]
changes.

1024
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:19,723
Changes, and, yeah, just [bleep]
changes.
Stuff didn't change for a while.

1025
00:34:19,725 --> 00:34:21,124
Changes.
Stuff didn't change for a while.
You know what I mean?

1026
00:34:21,126 --> 00:34:23,360
Stuff didn't change for a while.
You know what I mean?
Twenties and thirties, it didn't

1027
00:34:23,362 --> 00:34:25,462
you know what I mean?
Twenties and thirties, it didn't
seem like things would change.

1028
00:34:25,464 --> 00:34:27,431
Twenties and thirties, it didn't
seem like things would change.
But, then, late 40s, it felt

1029
00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:29,132
seem like things would change.
But, then, late 40s, it felt
like feelings would change, and

1030
00:34:29,134 --> 00:34:30,901
but, then, late 40s, it felt
like feelings would change, and
you'd start out feeling one way.

1031
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:33,403
Like feelings would change, and
you'd start out feeling one way.
And then, all the sudden, you

1032
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:35,806
you'd start out feeling one way.
And then, all the sudden, you
don't feel that way anymore.

1033
00:34:35,808 --> 00:34:37,340
And then, all the sudden, you
don't feel that way anymore.
And all of that was new to me,

1034
00:34:37,342 --> 00:34:40,210
don't feel that way anymore.
And all of that was new to me,
because I was like a solid dude.

1035
00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:42,546
And all of that was new to me,
because I was like a solid dude.
"do it this way, stay the

1036
00:34:42,548 --> 00:34:44,948
because I was like a solid dude.
"do it this way, stay the
course, and you will win."

1037
00:34:44,950 --> 00:34:46,149
"do it this way, stay the
course, and you will win."
you know what I mean?

1038
00:34:46,151 --> 00:34:47,851
Course, and you will win."
you know what I mean?
And it just wasn't -- it wasn't

1039
00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:49,352
you know what I mean?
And it just wasn't -- it wasn't
happening like that anymore.

1040
00:34:49,354 --> 00:34:51,488
And it just wasn't -- it wasn't
happening like that anymore.
So, I stopped saying, "okay,

1041
00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:53,457
happening like that anymore.
So, I stopped saying, "okay,
well, I will get married.

1042
00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:54,758
So, I stopped saying, "okay,
well, I will get married.
I will do this.

1043
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,193
Well, I will get married.
I will do this.
I will be this movie star.

1044
00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:57,794
I will do this.
I will be this movie star.
I will make this much money."

1045
00:34:57,796 --> 00:34:58,995
I will be this movie star.
I will make this much money."
I stopped doing that.

1046
00:34:58,997 --> 00:35:01,131
I will make this much money."
I stopped doing that.
And once I stopped doing that, I

1047
00:35:01,133 --> 00:35:03,100
I stopped doing that.
And once I stopped doing that, I
was able to be freer, just to

1048
00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:04,534
and once I stopped doing that, I
was able to be freer, just to
get my work and life

1049
00:35:04,536 --> 00:35:07,237
was able to be freer, just to
get my work and life
spiritually.

1050
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:10,740
Get my work and life
spiritually.
So, yeah, I don't know.

1051
00:35:10,742 --> 00:35:15,378
Spiritually.
So, yeah, I don't know.
I just now met somebody who's

1052
00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:18,782
so, yeah, I don't know.
I just now met somebody who's
got me way off guard.

1053
00:35:18,784 --> 00:35:20,217
I just now met somebody who's
got me way off guard.
We'd hang out, and it would be

1054
00:35:20,219 --> 00:35:21,551
got me way off guard.
We'd hang out, and it would be
nice, and then it would just

1055
00:35:21,553 --> 00:35:22,919
we'd hang out, and it would be
nice, and then it would just
make sense to hang out more.

1056
00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:24,387
Nice, and then it would just
make sense to hang out more.
I didn't think that I would get

1057
00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:24,654
make sense to hang out more.
I didn't think that I would get
struck.

1058
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:36,133
>> diggs: The book "why?" it
takes these children.
These children are just asking

1059
00:35:36,135 --> 00:35:37,601
takes these children.
These children are just asking
their parents, their

1060
00:35:37,603 --> 00:35:39,536
these children are just asking
their parents, their
grandparents, their relatives,

1061
00:35:39,538 --> 00:35:41,571
their parents, their
grandparents, their relatives,
the older people in their lives,

1062
00:35:41,573 --> 00:35:43,540
grandparents, their relatives,
the older people in their lives,
"why are these people so angry?

1063
00:35:43,542 --> 00:35:45,408
The older people in their lives,
"why are these people so angry?
Why are these people breaking

1064
00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:46,009
"why are these people so angry?
Why are these people breaking
stuff?

1065
00:35:46,011 --> 00:35:47,844
Why are these people breaking
stuff?
Why are these people yelling?

1066
00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:49,379
Stuff?
Why are these people yelling?
Why are they marching?"

1067
00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,448
why are these people yelling?
Why are they marching?"
and it gives kind of a

1068
00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:54,184
why are they marching?"
and it gives kind of a
perspective of the children and

1069
00:35:54,186 --> 00:35:56,987
and it gives kind of a
perspective of the children and
gives opportunities, I think, to

1070
00:35:56,989 --> 00:35:59,689
perspective of the children and
gives opportunities, I think, to
parents and older folks a

1071
00:35:59,691 --> 00:36:02,626
gives opportunities, I think, to
parents and older folks a
chance to give kids an honest

1072
00:36:02,628 --> 00:36:05,395
parents and older folks a
chance to give kids an honest
answer why things are the way

1073
00:36:05,397 --> 00:36:06,530
chance to give kids an honest
answer why things are the way
they are.

1074
00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,532
Answer why things are the way
they are.
I remember during that period,

1075
00:36:08,534 --> 00:36:10,400
they are.
I remember during that period,
it was weird, and there were

1076
00:36:10,402 --> 00:36:12,269
I remember during that period,
it was weird, and there were
people that were choosing to

1077
00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:14,237
it was weird, and there were
people that were choosing to
talk about it, and there were

1078
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,173
people that were choosing to
talk about it, and there were
people that were deliberately

1079
00:36:16,175 --> 00:36:17,641
talk about it, and there were
people that were deliberately
not talking about it.

1080
00:36:17,643 --> 00:36:20,277
People that were deliberately
not talking about it.
And, you know, the last thing

1081
00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:23,046
not talking about it.
And, you know, the last thing
you want is people suppressing,

1082
00:36:23,048 --> 00:36:25,515
and, you know, the last thing
you want is people suppressing,
feeling like they can't ask

1083
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:28,351
you want is people suppressing,
feeling like they can't ask
important questions.

1084
00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:28,919
Feeling like they can't ask
important questions.
So, yeah, I'm proud of it.

1085
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:41,231
>> diggs: Walker nathaniel diggs
is -- I'm so impressed with him.
Like, I feel like he was -- I

1086
00:36:41,233 --> 00:36:43,400
is -- I'm so impressed with him.
Like, I feel like he was -- I
feel like I can't even take

1087
00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:44,201
like, I feel like he was -- I
feel like I can't even take
credit.

1088
00:36:44,203 --> 00:36:45,402
Feel like I can't even take
credit.
He's so cool.

1089
00:36:45,404 --> 00:36:47,637
Credit.
He's so cool.
He's so much cooler than me.

1090
00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:49,773
He's so cool.
He's so much cooler than me.
I feel like he's proof that

1091
00:36:49,775 --> 00:36:52,576
he's so much cooler than me.
I feel like he's proof that
there's, you know, a higher

1092
00:36:52,578 --> 00:36:55,845
I feel like he's proof that
there's, you know, a higher
power, because he's teaching me.

1093
00:36:55,847 --> 00:36:57,814
There's, you know, a higher
power, because he's teaching me.
He's everything that I wanted to

1094
00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:58,748
power, because he's teaching me.
He's everything that I wanted to
be and more.

1095
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,116
He's everything that I wanted to
be and more.
You know what I mean?

1096
00:37:00,118 --> 00:37:01,785
Be and more.
You know what I mean?
He can sing. He can dance.

1097
00:37:01,787 --> 00:37:02,886
You know what I mean?
He can sing. He can dance.
He's an athlete.

1098
00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,588
He can sing. He can dance.
He's an athlete.
He's living the life that I

1099
00:37:04,590 --> 00:37:06,289
he's an athlete.
He's living the life that I
wanted to live before I was

1100
00:37:06,291 --> 00:37:07,757
he's living the life that I
wanted to live before I was
introduced to the arts.

1101
00:37:07,759 --> 00:37:09,125
Wanted to live before I was
introduced to the arts.
You know what I mean?

1102
00:37:09,127 --> 00:37:11,461
Introduced to the arts.
You know what I mean?
And that's -- I feel like I get

1103
00:37:11,463 --> 00:37:13,530
you know what I mean?
And that's -- I feel like I get
the best of all the worlds,

1104
00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:16,499
and that's -- I feel like I get
the best of all the worlds,
because I can watch him.

1105
00:37:16,501 --> 00:37:19,035
The best of all the worlds,
because I can watch him.
And I listen to him.

1106
00:37:19,037 --> 00:37:21,705
Because I can watch him.
And I listen to him.
You know what I mean?

1107
00:37:21,707 --> 00:37:25,175
And I listen to him.
You know what I mean?
When we have discussions, very

1108
00:37:25,177 --> 00:37:28,945
you know what I mean?
When we have discussions, very
rarely am I trying to teach him.

1109
00:37:28,947 --> 00:37:32,115
When we have discussions, very
rarely am I trying to teach him.
More often than not, we're

1110
00:37:32,117 --> 00:37:34,818
rarely am I trying to teach him.
More often than not, we're
discussing, and I end up kind of

1111
00:37:34,820 --> 00:37:37,487
more often than not, we're
discussing, and I end up kind of
just listening to what he has to

1112
00:37:37,489 --> 00:37:38,154
discussing, and I end up kind of
just listening to what he has to
say.

1113
00:37:38,156 --> 00:37:40,757
Just listening to what he has to
say.
And if I release my ego, he has

1114
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:41,992
say.
And if I release my ego, he has
a point.

1115
00:37:41,994 --> 00:37:44,160
And if I release my ego, he has
a point.
You know what I mean?

1116
00:37:44,162 --> 00:37:45,895
A point.
You know what I mean?
And that's cool.

1117
00:37:45,897 --> 00:37:47,163
You know what I mean?
And that's cool.
♪

1118
00:37:47,165 --> 00:37:50,400
and that's cool.
♪
I think walker makes me a good

1119
00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:51,501
♪
I think walker makes me a good
father.

1120
00:37:51,503 --> 00:37:53,069
I think walker makes me a good
father.
I really do.

1121
00:37:53,071 --> 00:37:56,373
Father.
I really do.
I think I've had enough therapy

1122
00:37:56,375 --> 00:37:58,475
I really do.
I think I've had enough therapy
to know to listen.

1123
00:37:58,477 --> 00:38:01,344
I think I've had enough therapy
to know to listen.
And when I allow myself to

1124
00:38:01,346 --> 00:38:04,281
to know to listen.
And when I allow myself to
listen, he's able to speak.

1125
00:38:04,283 --> 00:38:07,684
And when I allow myself to
listen, he's able to speak.
So, I feel like I had a rough go

1126
00:38:07,686 --> 00:38:10,086
listen, he's able to speak.
So, I feel like I had a rough go
a bit with my father,

1127
00:38:10,088 --> 00:38:13,390
so, I feel like I had a rough go
a bit with my father,
stepfather, and I feel like I'm

1128
00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:15,358
a bit with my father,
stepfather, and I feel like I'm
being somehow kind of blessed.

1129
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,227
Stepfather, and I feel like I'm
being somehow kind of blessed.
Like, "okay, you had to deal

1130
00:38:17,229 --> 00:38:18,061
being somehow kind of blessed.
Like, "okay, you had to deal
with this.

1131
00:38:18,063 --> 00:38:19,763
Like, "okay, you had to deal
with this.
We're gonna give you this

1132
00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:21,665
with this.
We're gonna give you this
amazing kid, and you're gonna

1133
00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:22,799
we're gonna give you this
amazing kid, and you're gonna
learn from him.

1134
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,968
Amazing kid, and you're gonna
learn from him.
You don't have to worry about,

1135
00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:27,203
learn from him.
You don't have to worry about,
you know, [bleep] up his life."

1136
00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:28,805
you don't have to worry about,
you know, [bleep] up his life."
you know what I mean?

1137
00:38:28,807 --> 00:38:30,774
You know, [bleep] up his life."
you know what I mean?
Yeah, you know, I've had to

1138
00:38:30,776 --> 00:38:31,941
you know what I mean?
Yeah, you know, I've had to
learn in relationships.

1139
00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:33,043
Yeah, you know, I've had to
learn in relationships.
You know what I mean?

1140
00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:34,511
Learn in relationships.
You know what I mean?
My dad comes out in me and has

1141
00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:38,381
you know what I mean?
My dad comes out in me and has
come out in me in relationships

1142
00:38:38,383 --> 00:38:41,084
my dad comes out in me and has
come out in me in relationships
but not with my son.

1143
00:38:41,086 --> 00:38:45,355
Come out in me in relationships
but not with my son.
And I'm so, so grateful.

1144
00:38:45,357 --> 00:38:48,925
But not with my son.
And I'm so, so grateful.
♪

1145
00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:51,227
and I'm so, so grateful.
♪
like, idina does a really great

1146
00:38:51,229 --> 00:38:53,430
♪
like, idina does a really great
job at making sure, you know,

1147
00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:55,598
like, idina does a really great
job at making sure, you know,
she knows how to cornrow, and

1148
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,400
job at making sure, you know,
she knows how to cornrow, and
she does walker's hair.

1149
00:38:57,402 --> 00:38:59,502
She knows how to cornrow, and
she does walker's hair.
And she makes sure there are

1150
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,771
she does walker's hair.
And she makes sure there are
black authors in the house and

1151
00:39:01,773 --> 00:39:03,940
and she makes sure there are
black authors in the house and
that he's surrounded by other

1152
00:39:03,942 --> 00:39:05,809
black authors in the house and
that he's surrounded by other
black people besides me.

1153
00:39:05,811 --> 00:39:09,813
That he's surrounded by other
black people besides me.
So, I remember her being, you

1154
00:39:09,815 --> 00:39:13,783
black people besides me.
So, I remember her being, you
know, vigilant on making sure

1155
00:39:13,785 --> 00:39:16,119
so, I remember her being, you
know, vigilant on making sure
she didn't go overboard.

1156
00:39:16,121 --> 00:39:19,122
Know, vigilant on making sure
she didn't go overboard.
But, you know, I understand the

1157
00:39:19,124 --> 00:39:21,758
she didn't go overboard.
But, you know, I understand the
sense of, "oh, this has been

1158
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,126
but, you know, I understand the
sense of, "oh, this has been
done to you.

1159
00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:24,427
Sense of, "oh, this has been
done to you.
I feel bad.

1160
00:39:24,429 --> 00:39:26,363
Done to you.
I feel bad.
What can I do now?"

1161
00:39:26,365 --> 00:39:28,098
I feel bad.
What can I do now?"
you know what I mean?

1162
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:28,865
What can I do now?"
you know what I mean?
I get it.

1163
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,300
You know what I mean?
I get it.
You know what I mean?

1164
00:39:30,302 --> 00:39:32,268
I get it.
You know what I mean?
They can't help that, you know,

1165
00:39:32,270 --> 00:39:33,770
you know what I mean?
They can't help that, you know,
their forefathers did.

1166
00:39:33,772 --> 00:39:36,072
They can't help that, you know,
their forefathers did.
And if someone doesn't realize

1167
00:39:36,074 --> 00:39:38,375
their forefathers did.
And if someone doesn't realize
it -- you know what I mean? --

1168
00:39:38,377 --> 00:39:40,510
And if someone doesn't realize
it -- you know what I mean? --
If someone doesn't have, you

1169
00:39:40,512 --> 00:39:42,812
it -- you know what I mean? --
If someone doesn't have, you
know, the gift of realizing --

1170
00:39:42,814 --> 00:39:45,248
if someone doesn't have, you
know, the gift of realizing --
like, we've all been conditioned

1171
00:39:45,250 --> 00:39:47,217
know, the gift of realizing --
like, we've all been conditioned
and yeah, it's great for people

1172
00:39:47,219 --> 00:39:49,052
like, we've all been conditioned
and yeah, it's great for people
to kind of be woke, but, you

1173
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,920
and yeah, it's great for people
to kind of be woke, but, you
know, we got to keep it real.

1174
00:39:50,922 --> 00:39:52,355
To kind of be woke, but, you
know, we got to keep it real.
You know what I mean?

1175
00:39:52,357 --> 00:39:56,559
Know, we got to keep it real.
You know what I mean?
I believe, you know, we have to

1176
00:39:56,561 --> 00:40:00,663
you know what I mean?
I believe, you know, we have to
move forward and change what's

1177
00:40:00,665 --> 00:40:02,298
I believe, you know, we have to
move forward and change what's
in front of us.

1178
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:06,369
Move forward and change what's
in front of us.
♪

1179
00:40:06,371 --> 00:40:09,005
in front of us.
♪
what would I tell 20-year-old

1180
00:40:09,007 --> 00:40:09,773
♪
what would I tell 20-year-old
taye?

1181
00:40:09,775 --> 00:40:11,541
What would I tell 20-year-old
taye?
Oh, boy -- so much.

1182
00:40:11,543 --> 00:40:12,208
Taye?
Oh, boy -- so much.
Ooh.

1183
00:40:12,210 --> 00:40:13,610
Oh, boy -- so much.
Ooh.
You know what?

1184
00:40:13,612 --> 00:40:16,312
Ooh.
You know what?
Nothing, because I wouldn't have

1185
00:40:16,314 --> 00:40:18,081
you know what?
Nothing, because I wouldn't have
listened to myself.

1186
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,349
Nothing, because I wouldn't have
listened to myself.
I wouldn't have listened.

1187
00:40:19,351 --> 00:40:20,417
Listened to myself.
I wouldn't have listened.
You know what I mean?

1188
00:40:20,419 --> 00:40:23,052
I wouldn't have listened.
You know what I mean?
You couldn't -- I thought what I

1189
00:40:23,054 --> 00:40:24,788
you know what I mean?
You couldn't -- I thought what I
was doing worked at

1190
00:40:24,790 --> 00:40:27,290
you couldn't -- I thought what I
was doing worked at
20 years old, and you couldn't

1191
00:40:27,292 --> 00:40:27,924
was doing worked at
20 years old, and you couldn't
[bleep] with me.

1192
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:30,527
20 years old, and you couldn't
[bleep] with me.
So, I hate talking on deaf ears.

1193
00:40:30,529 --> 00:40:31,961
[bleep] with me.
So, I hate talking on deaf ears.
So, I wouldn't.

1194
00:40:31,963 --> 00:40:34,431
So, I hate talking on deaf ears.
So, I wouldn't.
I would just let me just do my

1195
00:40:34,433 --> 00:40:36,766
so, I wouldn't.
I would just let me just do my
own thing and come to my own

1196
00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:39,169
I would just let me just do my
own thing and come to my own
realizations when I needed to

1197
00:40:39,171 --> 00:40:39,836
own thing and come to my own
realizations when I needed to
come to them.

1198
00:40:39,838 --> 00:40:42,205
Realizations when I needed to
come to them.
I wouldn't waste my breath.

1199
00:40:42,207 --> 00:40:43,907
Come to them.
I wouldn't waste my breath.
You can do things one way and

1200
00:40:43,909 --> 00:40:45,542
I wouldn't waste my breath.
You can do things one way and
still be open to other ways.

1201
00:40:45,544 --> 00:40:47,310
You can do things one way and
still be open to other ways.
I mean, it doesn't really have

1202
00:40:47,312 --> 00:40:48,878
still be open to other ways.
I mean, it doesn't really have
to mess with your process.

1203
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,713
I mean, it doesn't really have
to mess with your process.
It would be great if it did, but

1204
00:40:50,715 --> 00:40:51,915
to mess with your process.
It would be great if it did, but
it doesn't have to.

1205
00:40:51,917 --> 00:40:53,550
It would be great if it did, but
it doesn't have to.
I was so, you know, stuck in

1206
00:40:53,552 --> 00:40:55,218
it doesn't have to.
I was so, you know, stuck in
what I thought worked that I

1207
00:40:55,220 --> 00:40:56,820
I was so, you know, stuck in
what I thought worked that I
didn't want to see anything

1208
00:40:56,822 --> 00:40:57,053
what I thought worked that I
didn't want to see anything
else.

1209
00:40:58,022 --> 00:41:00,824
And it wasn't until I lived life

1210
00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:03,726
and got heard that I realized,

1211
00:41:03,861 --> 00:41:05,228
"oh, okay, there's a whole

1212
00:41:05,362 --> 00:41:06,896
other, host of other ways to

1213
00:41:07,031 --> 00:41:08,832
see things that really can open

1214
00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:10,633
you up as a person," where I

1215
00:41:10,768 --> 00:41:12,569
grew up the opposite, thinking,

1216
00:41:12,703 --> 00:41:14,437
"the only way to succeed is to

1217
00:41:14,572 --> 00:41:15,505
do it this way.

1218
00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:17,273
And if it works, stick to it.

1219
00:41:17,408 --> 00:41:19,008
If it ain't broke, don't fix

1220
00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:19,476
it."

1221
00:41:19,610 --> 00:41:22,078
and it's the total opposite for

1222
00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:22,645
me.

1223
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:24,547
You know what I mean?

1224
00:41:24,682 --> 00:41:27,217
The more open you are, you know,

1225
00:41:27,351 --> 00:41:29,686
the less stringent, sometimes

1226
00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:31,654
less disciplined even.

1227
00:41:31,789 --> 00:41:33,523
You know what I mean?

1228
00:41:33,657 --> 00:41:35,291
Most of the things that I

1229
00:41:35,426 --> 00:41:37,494
thought were the only way to do

1230
00:41:37,628 --> 00:41:39,696
things, you know, only got me so

1231
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:42,665
far.

1232
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:42,899
Yeah.