Now, wait a minute
California knows how to party
In the city of LA
In the city of good ol' Watts
In the city City of Compton
They're poplockin' Whoo!
Poplockin' in Rolls-Royce...
I know for most people, a house party is just a kick-back
to catch up with the homies.
But this is LA, a city where a party can change your life.
A place where legends are born, die, and live again.
And bein' rich or bein' broke can be separated by a mere freeway.
But once in a great while, the stars align,
and the Fates bless a few fortunate dreamers
with a night that will change the course of their lives forever.
In other words, there's some crazy, beautiful,
weird-ass shit about to go down.
One and two and three and four.
The fuck?
Destiny, what you think?
I know it sound weird, but let's see what Daddy cooked up.
Ooh-hoo-hoo! Hey!
This beat feel good! It feel free!
I'm the GOAT!
Sellin' out stadiums! Platinum records!
Yeah, that's my baby on the track.
You hear that? That's you.
Yo, come on.
Look who decided to wake up.
Did you sign the start forms for the IT job yet?
I'mma get on that Monday.
It ain't like you got all the time in the world,
because in three months,
your mother and I will be enjoyin' our retirement.
Spoonin' each other on the sandy beaches of Daytona, Florida.
And this house will be sold, so... did you find anywhere to live yet?
Once I start my new job, I'll have the money to get a new place.
I mean, you could just lend me the money.
Yeah, right.
Hey, when I was raised, you think anybody was just goin' around giving me money?
Boy, you don't know what it was like in LA in the '90s.
Don't let this house fool you.
Half this shit in here we got in the riots, right baby?
You ain't lyin'.
I said, "lend," Pop. Dang.
I saw Mrs. Bailey at Vons yesterday. How is Venus doing?
Good, I guess. I mean, I think she live near Leimert Park, now.
You two were like twins in middle school.
-Remember that? -No, I don't remember that.
I thought you two might have even been datin'
until she went to prom with that football player.
I follow him on Facebook, too.
He is more handsome now than ever.
You don't ever talk to Venus at work?
Not really. I mean, she work in the main office.
I see her when I'm dropping off keys to a house or...
picking up my check.
That was nice of her to help you get that job.
But stupid of you to help Damon get his.
Jesus is my friend.
Yes, he's my friend
Damon!
Damon, wake your lazy ass up.
Damon! I know you gotta work today.
And clean up this room, too.
It smell like ass and onions in here.
Damon!
All right, all right, I'm up already, man. Damn. Jeez.
That's what you get, stayin' out partyin' all night.
You think you can just live your life
playing pick-up basketball and clubbing and fucking up my house?
See, now I know why your mama kicked your ass out.
Aunt Jean, for the last time, all right... It's not clubbing.
I'm a promoter. I'm working, all right?
People followin' me on Instagram and comin' to my parties.
- Really? - Yeah.
Did you make any money?
There she go.
I get it. It's a non-profit. You're doing charity work.
Boy, if you're in a club and not making any money, then it's clubbin'.
You must think I'm stupid.
Don't forget, you owe me rent tomorrow, plus last month's,
'cause next stop is gonna be Skid Row for you.
Talkin' about followers.
You know who got followers? Jesus.
Pssh!
Take your rude ass to work, and clean up that room.
Smell like somebody fucked an onion in there.
My God, Aunt Jean, you just cursed. What would Jesus say?
Jesus would say, "Shut the fuck up, this is my house!"
Man!
Hey, beautiful.
- Don't make me get my gun. - Shit.
Let's get you to your mom's house.
See, what Granny and Paw-Paw don't know is...
is that I'm about to make a lot of money from this party.
And we gonna have everything we need.
Have all the toys you need.
Hey!
Hey, what's going on? What y'all doin'--
-Where Damon at? -I don't know.
I mean, y'all know he doesn't live here.
Yeah, we gonna burn his nigga house down.
-Larry, chill, chill, chill... -What? I got my daughter with me.
I tried to call y'all, like, twice this week about the party.
-Y'all ain't been returning my calls. -'Cause y'all dickheads off the party.
Guile?
I got this.
-Okay? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause y'all dickheads off the party.
Yeah, I heard him. But why?
You know exactly why!
We're gonna make you pay.
First we gonna tie you up, right?
Then we'll cut your little nappy head off
-with a rusty machete. -Whoa.
-Yeah. -Then I'm gonna sew your booty hole up.
Then I'm gonna take some Mexican candy, the spicy kind.
Then I'm gonna shove it down your throat hole till you're nice and plump.
And then I'm gonna beat your ass like a piñata.
Larry-- Larry, let's just calm down.
Hey, hey. I'm gonna need you to really work on dialing back your threats.
-Dial it back? What are we here for? -You puttin' too much sauce on it!
-Too much-- All right. -What you mean, too much-- A piñata?
Y'all off the party!
You and that little weirdo Vic, and that's that!
Y'all can't do that, man. We-- we got money invested.
You can thank your home boy, Damon.
Never liked that roach-face-ass nigga, anyway.
Yeah, and he tried to play my little baby cousin, tried to get away with it?
And steal from her?
Hey... what you mean? He stole from her?
Daisy can't find her gold necklace.
And I know that little crackhead-ass boy Damon took it.
We're gonna fuck his ass up on sight.
-Whoo! On sight, boy. -Yeah. That's right.
Then we gonna grind his dick into a juice.
Make him drink that shit.
-Okay, no, no, no. -What's left over, that's for you.
We just talked about you dialin' this shit back.
-But you see what I do-- -We're not juicin' no dicks today!
You know what? I quit!
- You quit? - I quit! Do it yourself!
You did this same shit in the third grade.
Man, just get the fuck outta here, man!
Guile!
I got this!
-But I-- -Between the both-- Why--
-I-- -I got it.
Get the fuck outta here.
Get yo' ass in the back. What you doin'?
I thought you quit.
You got short legs.
If you interrupt me one more time, I keep tellin' you.
Every time I speak, you wanna speak. Quit speakin'!
Hey. What's up with it, y'all? It's your boy, DamonThaDon.
Just want to hit y'all with a bit of morning motivation.
Lot of people trying to stress you out.
But don't let the bullshit get to you, all right?
Do whatever it is that makes you happy.
Smoke a little weed, a little meditation. Maybe a party. Ha-ha!
Y'all know we got a big one comin' up, so make sure y'all pull up.
Until then... it's regular.
Damon!
Damn, man! Always hating.
Here I come! Fuck.
Hey, Armen. Sorry I'm late, man. The 405 crazy.
Somebody famous live here?
Jesus, I'm so glad I won't have to deal with you anymore.
These areas are marked and locked.
They are not to be tampered with.
Kevin will return the keys when you're done.
He's the responsible one.
Tsk! Man.
I have another site to get to.
Bye, Damon.
It's Damon, bro. The French way.
Stupid.
Shit ain't that hard.
Damn, man, this how the other half live.
Hey!
God damn, man. I see you late as usual.
Yeah, man, you know, I got caught up in Clubhouse,
schoolin' niggas on how to be successful and not have to work a basic job.
Hey, how's my goddaughter, Destiny?
She fine. She's at her mom's house.
Man, Armen was acting weird as hell, bro.
Actin' hella sketchy about who's crib this is.
So I guess you ain't heard, we got kicked off the party tomorrow.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Kyle and them is pissed.
They don't like how you been doggin' their cousin Daisy.
Daisy? Light-skinned Daisy?
That's they cousin? Shit. I'd be pissed, too.
But they can't kick us off the party, though, Kev.
We put money in! I'm the host!
I told you, stop messing with that girl.
She started liking me too much.
That shit-- It just turn me off, you feel me?
I'm like, "You want me? Me?!"
I'm still in my ho phase, bro.
Man, they said you stole her chain.
Man, that's cap! That's big cap!
That's bottle cap! That's Colin Kap!
-That's Cap-tain America! -Yo!
Nobody want that fugazi raggedy-ass swap meet chain, anyway.
Chain's not worth shit.
Hoo-hoo!
Damn, that shit just fluffed itself.
Whose crib is this, man? Steve Jobs?
-Steve Jobs is dead, fool. -Don't mean his house died.
There goes the money I invested. I got shit to pay for.
Have to pick up some extra shifts. That might not even be enough.
I know, right? They payin' us Mexican prices out here.
Hey, my bad, Juan.
I'm Venezuelan.
Hey, nobody said you wasn't, Juan.
Come on, let's knock this house out. I ain't got all day.
I still gotta get home in time to read to Destiny and drop the keys off.
Armen must think you a slave?
He know better not to try that shit out with me.
I'll knock his ass out.
Bop! Ding! Bing!
Hey, V. It's crazy you called. My mom--
What the hell is wrong with you?
Nothin', I'm good.
Corporate is in there right now, watching a video of you and Damon
smoking at the house on Baylor Street.
That-- that don't even sound like us.
This is serious, Kevin. They are short on staff today,
so they're gonna let you clean that last house,
but you are getting terminated officially, first thing Monday morning.
Maybe we can talk to 'em and change their mind, or somethin'.
I need this job.
These niggas fired. Whoo!
- No, y'all "fired" fired. - Hey, Venus!
I gotta go. Sorry. Sorry, Kev.
Who was that? Little girlfriend, Venus?
Hey, bro, let's spark up.
Why you just standing there like you just shit yourself, man?
-We fired. -What?
How?
To be honest with you, fuck this job.
You're way too talented for this, Kev. What you should do is focus on them beats.
The shit you sent me today... now, that shit was hard.
But I ain't mean to mess up your money, though, man.
My bad, dawg.
But you'll figure this shit out. You always do.
-What if we threw a house party? -Where? Auntie crib?
I mean, that shit could work, but... she got these low-ass ceilings,
and she got this cat that be throwin' up every time it smell weed, so...
No, no, not like a regular house.
People are tired of us throwin' the same party. Every time.
We need something... different.
Something bigger.
-Something like this place. -You trying to throw a party here?
Not here.
-Armen would kill us, man. -True.
We could rent something out like this.
Rent? Hell, no. That would be terrible for our margins, dawg.
Plus, my followers? Here? Shit.
Niggas ain't got no respect for a nice place like this.
I don't know, I gotta figure something out, though.
I need ten G's by next week.
My parents about to sell the house.
If I don't pay for my daughter's fancy preschool,
Char could make a case to get full custody,
-and I ain't having that shit. -All right, man. All right.
All right, man. Damn.
You ain't gotta convince me. I was in the moment you said...
"Damon... please, I need your help."
-I didn't even say that. -Man!
I could hit up my fan base, and we could make 10,000 off the cover charges, easy.
All right. Enough hypothesizing.
I'll call around. Let's get to work.
Damn. This nigga love to work.
Shit.
Jab. Jab. Spin.
Yeah, that ain't a travel. That's good.
Hey, Sabrina? Yeah, remember we threw that Halloween party last year?
Look, I-I'm throwing another party this weekend, and I need a venue.
Damn. This dude got his own museum.
Damn. She thicc.
Yeesh.
I would.
Dude got Miami shit, Cleveland shit, LA shit.
It's like, damn, pick a city, bro.
Man, you could actually fuck in here, bro. Yeah.
Yeah!
Conforming to body.
Yeah, this is nice.
Ew! What the fuck?
Is this motherfucker a giant?
Damn.
Two weeks meditation?
This dude gotta be stressed.
Who is this bro?
Buddy is on LeBron's nuts.
My God.
Yeah, I know it's last minute, but you gotta have something available.
Yes, sir!
Yeah, I understand.
Aw, shit.
Man, these promoters talking a lot of shit about us.
-We're being blackballed. -Well, fuck all that, bro.
- Why is you still cleaning? - Might as well get this last check.
Fuck that, Kev!
What is you doing, man? They got cameras in here!
Don't worry about all that shit, Kev. I found the camera room
and I turned all them shits off.
You forgot I worked at Geek Squad.
Whose jacket you got on?
Check it out.
It's LeBron's.
LeBron who?
James, nigga! There is only one LeBron on earth!
And why you got on his clothes?
'Cause this his house.
This him, Kev!
This him! This all him.
This-- Man, look, man! This is his candle.
Smell like gametime in this motherfucker, man.
Look, man, this is his-- This is his fridge, Kev! Look!
This his juice.
This juice is LeBron juice, bro!
Get some of this greatness in your life, goddammit.
You fucking kidding me right now?
Shut the fuck up.
Yep. Told you.
- Hey, there. ! Ooh!
You are one handsome, philanthropic motherfucker.
-Who, me? -Your hairline is perfect.
Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous.
Bro, he got a hologram of himself, just to give him compliments?
Yeah, that do make sense, though.
The only person that could convince him he the greatest...
-...is the greatest. -Is the greatest.
You handled the decision to go to Miami perfectly.
Nah...
That's cap. This guy.
-Bro. Damon. Stop touchin' shit, man. -Man, what, man? Shut up, bro!
Your scary ass, bro.
Damn, I need a face ID.
Shit.
Hey. Talk, man.
You were great in Trainwreck.
In fact, Ian Crouch of the New Yorker said you were the funniest person in the movie.
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Damn, we got all of LeBron's contacts in here.
It's pretty much everybody in the world.
Man, shut up, bro. Even got Carole Baskin in here, bro.
Hey, should we invite her to our party?
Yo.
Yo! Yo, yo, yo, yo...
Yo, Kev! Yo, Kev!
Yo, yo, yo. Yo! Yo!
How about... we throw the party... here?
Bro, that was a bad idea before.
-It's a terrible idea now. -What?
Your NBA 2K rating should be 100, not 97.
Yeah.
Come on, man. It's the perfect idea, bro.
Who wouldn't want to party in the King's house?
To become a champion, you must think like a champion.
Listen to LeBron, man!
Look, it's perfect, dawg. Look.
We just hit up all his contacts, right? As LeBron's assistants.
We sayin' that LeBron throwing a secret party on some low key shit.
You want to trick famous people into thinking LeBron throwing a party?
In his own house?
-Hell yeah! -Man.
Look, we can charge way more at the door with these celebs coming, all right?
We can make ten times the money, Kev.
We can send Destiny to preschool, high school, college... Whatever.
What about his family? Somebody could show up.
-We can go to jail. -Man, your scary ass.
You're worried about the wrong things, Kev.
Look. Right here. They on vacation.
-He meditating for two weeks. -Two weeks? Must be stressed.
I would be, too if I was about to hit my 30th season.
Sheesh!
Look, bro. It's simple, all right?
We could throw the party, have it cleaned, without him even knowing.
Man, I don't-- I don't know.
Hey! Hey, man. Hey. Hey. This is not about us, Kev.
It's not about you. It's not about me.
You know who it's about?
Destiny. Lil' baby.
She can't read. She can't write. 'Cause she can't go to school.
-Why? Because you broke. -Shut up.
But you can change that, Kev. You could make it happen. All right?
Yeah, you see it.
Now... are we doing this?
Or are we doing this?
Come on, now. Say yes. Say yes, Kev.
-This shit gotta be spotless. -It's gonna be sparkling, bro.
-We doin' it. -Yeah, we doing this.
Yeah, my boy! You know what that means, right?
Looks like we about to throw a house par--
Excuse me. We're done in the living room.
Okay, for sure. You can leave the cleaning supplies by-- by the door.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Ha, dawg, you about to get--
Which door? The one over here?
Just the one over-- Not that one, but the one right over--
There's so many doors in the house.
Yo, Juan, get the fuck out of here, bro! You ruining the special moment
-between me and my man, bro. -Sorry.
You and Gloria can leave. We'll lock up.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, come on, bro.
Man, this is what we do, man. We live, we throw parties, bro.
I'm gonna make some calls. About to get it crackin'.
Shit, I'mma call Diddy.
Of course, Puffy, Diddy, Sean, Mr. Love. Hah.
Yeah. Cîroc only.
We put the DJ booth right here, VIP area upstairs.
We can get Sly and Reg to do security.
Hell, yeah.
We need somebody good to clean this place so we don't get caught.
-We can do it. -Naw, someone good.
You right. You right.
All right, we're gonna tell everybody no phones, no social media.
The whole theme was for LeBron and all the guests to play dumb
if it's ever brought up again.
We're gonna call it, "Off the Grid Part Two."
"Off the Grid Part Two"?
So people will think they missed the first one.
People would love to have Dr. Dre on the ones and twos.
This is Dr. Andre Liebowitz?
My bad. My bad.
No, I do not need a hair transplant.
My God.
Then we gonna invite all the celebrities and the regular people too,
and charge them more.
Man, we about to be the biggest promoters in town.
Blanket.
We got a lot of equipment and we can't fit it
and three other people up in that little-ass car!
Your problem is you don't know how to load things scientifically.
I... don't...
Popcorn.
Bro. You really think LeBron's installing popcorn in his goddamn cinema--
-Hey, yo. -Yeah?
I think we'll be good if we keep the party to the living room.
-Everything else is off limits. -Yeah, we can just party-proof it
like we did that Pajama Jam we threw at my granny house.
Exactly. Plus, all the good stuff is packed into the restricted areas, anyway.
Word. Nigga, this shit about to be crackin'.
I'm talking about legendary.
I even booked us some performers, too.
-Who? -Migos!
How the hell you do that?
I told Quavo he can play LeBron one on one.
-He believed it? -Of course not.
But he said he coming.
Shit, I was thinking he could freestyle over one of your beats.
Nah, man, I'm still uncomfortable playin' my shit after what happened.
This the one?
Hey, nigga. Turn this weak-ass shit off. I got a customer out here.
Yo, this shit really is trash, bro.
Fuckin' weirdo.
Can't lowride to this, nigga. This ain't Dre.
You gotta get over that, bro.
Dude was recording in the back of a cell phone shop.
No, I still don't want to do it, though. That shit fucked me up.
All right, whatever, bro.
Look, um, I'm gonna drop a fake set of keys off to the office now.
And I'm gonna give Venus the real set, after the party.
Man, we about to be kings in the King's castle, dawg.
Whoo!
All right, we got a lot to do.
All right. Focus on the important stuff.
Yo! What the fuck?
My fault, bro. Shit. Damn.
Keep your feet off my damn car.
Come on, Kev. Let's get to work.
Let's start with the back yard.
Yup. It's that rapper weed.
Baby lungs.
Yo!
-What the fuck was that? -It looked like a koala.
-A what? -Yeah, a koala.
-You never seen a koala before? -Hell no, man.
That looked like a fucked-up monkey.
Yo, Kev. Kev, let's go inside,
because if it come over here, I'mma kick the shit out of it.
Come on, man. Get off me. You're scared of a teddy bear?
Yo, what the fuck is that? You leave the gate open?
Nigga, I don't know, it's not my house.
- Yo, Kev, come here. Come here. - Hello?
Come here, Kev.
- Hello? - Wait.
Hi! I see you there. How are you?
I already saw you.
- It's a white man. - Shit! Shit!
We going to jail, Kev. Shit. He's a detective.
Fuck! Get the drugs out!
I can see you through the tempered glass.
Kev, no. Kev. Kev!
Hi, I'm Peter. I'm... I'm the neighbor. How are you?
-How you doing? -Nice to meet you.
Sorry, my pet koala wandered over here again.
This keeps happening. I just wanted to come grab the little guy.
My bad. Hi.
So you... you just... you just got a pet koala?
Yeah, pet koala. Yeah. It started off as a prank from my brother-in-law.
But eight years and one divorce later,
it's the only thing I love, so... joke's on him.
- Is LeBron here? - Get this guy.
Is LeBron home?
-Um... -No?
I just wanted to talk to the big guy. Still haven't met him
and I was hoping to chat him up a bit and maybe show him something.
-Yo, man, whoa. -Yo, hey...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't do that anymore.
Look at this.
Sign my jers.
Lake show. Big fan.
He's actually away on vaca--
-He not here. Yeah. -Business.
-Miami, Cleveland. Whole... -Wife, kids...
Whole bunch of stuff.
- He's gone. - Yeah.
Who are you guys?
- We're his lawyers. - We're his cousins.
Yeah, I'm his cousin, Kenton. This is his court lawyer.
Nice to meet you, sir. What's your name?
-I'm Deez. -Deez. Deez what?
-Deez N-- -Hey, um...
You said you're the... ...neighbor.
Yeah, I live... just over those bushes, right down the hill.
-That's where I am. -Hey, that-- Got it.
All right, I'm gonna skedaddle.
-Ske-what? -By the way...
...black lives matter.
-They do. -Yes, they do.
I posted two squares on my Instagram. Respect.
- Hell, yeah. - All right, guys. Toodles.
Toodle-what?
Marley! Come here, girl!
Marley! Mar-ley!
Fuck, that was weird.
All right, but we still need to buy some liquor and stuff.
-You got some bread? -Hell, yeah.
My whole life's savings.
All 347 dollars.
All right, with my money, we should be good. Um...
I still need to let Venus know the whole plan, though.
She on the way with her cousin Mika right now.
Mika? Fine Mika?
Good. Get a head start on the competition.
'Cause there's about to be a gang of NBA niggas up in here.
Vic.
What's up, homie?
-Hold this. -Whoa.
Damn.
It's like the Kardashians up in this motherfucker, man.
-Hey, you bring speakers, right? -Yeah, they out there on the truck.
All right.
And I almost got robbed by a gang of crackheads on the way over here, too.
We're gonna put the DJ booth right over here.
-Yeah, yeah, surely. -All right.
Whoo!
Tonight's gonna be a good night. Surely.
Gimme that shit. Nigga, is this vodka?
Hell, no. Never vodka. Never vodka.
-That's rum. -Watch out, bro.
What, so you gonna drink on the job?
Yes. It's my DJ jet fuel.
When I need to turn this party up, I'm gonna hit the bar.
No, ain't no drinking tonight.
Yeah, nigga, we not payin' if you drinkin', bro.
I thought that was only while I was DJ-ing.
We can't take no chance.
Or you wanna talk about that time you was DJ-ing at that frat party?
Fuck Donald Trump, yeah
I like white folks But I don't like you
-See, that wasn't-- -Or that baby shower on Crenshaw.
- Look what--? - Look at this punk--
What is going on right now?
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna beat--
No, no, no, we're not fighting him on this,
we're fighting right now because, you pay for this?
He's ruinin' my--
No, Auntie, stop!
That wasn't even his baby.
- You-- you seen that girl. - Yee-
Do your thing. Sober.
All right. Come on, guys, focus.
By this time tomorrow night, we'll be counting stacks.
I'll buy a big-ass bottle of Hennessy myself.
Hennessy Privilège?
I mean, you never know.
But can't you at least make it Hennessy Black, please? Please?
Man, don't trip, man.
You can smoke all the weed you want to, homie.
Now, you know that shit ain't funny. You already know how I get, all right?
This is beautif-- Wait a minute.
Is this a picture of Chris Bosh's kids?
We'll explain later.
Man, how do you even know what Chris Bosh's kids look like, bro?
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Welcome.
-Hey, Damon. -What's up wid it.
- This is my cousin, Mika. - I know.
The most beautiful angel on IG.
I think we follow each other.
Yeah. DamonThaDon.
I don't follow your broke ass.
Hah. For sure.
Is Kevin-- Kevin's in there?
-Yeah. -Okay.
You crazy. You crazy.
We can fix all that, though.
Boy, if you don't get the hell away from me...
Venus in the house, shut your mouth. And...
-What up, Johnny, Jr.? -What--?
My God, only you and my dad call me that.
-You know that, right? -I know, I know. Good to see you.
Good to see you, too. You look good.
I'm all right, I'm all right.
This is nice. Colors of the rainbow. I see you.
Thank you for bringing your cousin, too.
-Damon was being thirsty as hell. -Yeah, she just flew in from Houston
to promote that Tummy Tea. Wish me luck.
Got one shorty in the back. You know what I'm sayin'--
What the fuck are you doing?
-I was on the-- -Yeah, they perfect for each other.
Yo, this place is gorgeous.
What is this, an Airbnb? This is nice.
- Yeah... - Rich.
About that.
-What? What's wrong? -Everything's fine. Um...
I do need your help with something, though.
What?
- Are you stupid? - Man.
I just need you to return the keys.
All right. Yeah, there you go.
-Mika. Come on, let's go. -Wait, wait, wait--
Kevin-- Mika, come on. Let's-- Get off of me!
Why y'all leaving, man?
'Cause y'all idiots are trying to throw a party in LeBron's house, that's why!
-This is LeBron's house? -Wait, wait, wait.
-Yeah, it's regular. -Wait, Venus.
Don't leave, don't leave, don't leave!
V, I know this is crazy. But you know me.
I wouldn't do something like this unless I was desperate.
I gotta pay for my daughter's school.
I lost this job, the money I invested for the party.
-I start my new job in, like, a month. -Look--
Look, I'm telling you, I have a plan.
But we can't do this without you.
Yeah, he can't do this without--
-Shut up. -All right.
I'm not wasting my years in college for this shit.
And I'm about to get a promotion.
- No. Y'all can ruin y'all's lives.
-I'm not. I'm out. -Wait, Venus--
Damn, we just got here.
I just want to take a couple cute pics and then we can go.
Please?
At least check out the pool.
Slim waist, fat ass.
Y'all wanna get this tea.
Okay, I see you, sis.
Kevin, this is a really, really bad idea.
It's kinda dope, though, right?
-I mean, we in LeBron's house. -Yeah.
He probably sat right here and contemplated on... killing J.R. Smith.
I'm contemplating killing you right now.
Tsk! Come on, V. Relax.
Why does everyone keep telling me to relax?
I mean, 'cause you probably should just relax a little bit.
I mean, you be a little tense.
Look, but I'm serious.
I know this is crazy, but a night like this don't come around more than once.
Yeah, whatever. As soon as she's over this shit, we leaving.
You impressed yet?
I'm getting there.
My hosting shit really starting to take off, too.
I got all my famous friends pullin' up tonight.
-Famous friends? -Yeah.
And who are you? They normal friend?
Tsk! Man, whatever, I'm popular.
Hey, yo, Kev! Let me borrow your car keys.
-Gonna go get some supplies. -Whoa, you don't have a car?
They on the counter. Should I roll with you?
No, man, one of us should stay here.
I can see you.
My fault.
-Just don't fuck up my car. -Yeah, all right.
Look at his little-bitty booty.
Man, watch out. That's why your followers is fake.
Yeah, whatever, and you one of 'em.
I'mma stunt all over this bitch tonight.
Motherfucker.
Talkin' about me? I ain't no one?
Sweet chunky Black Baby Jesus.
Yeah.
Come on, now.
Say what? What I do for a living?
I make money, bitch!
-'Sup, man. -'Sup, my man?
Yeah. Got this party tonight. Make sure y'all pull up.
Follow me on the 'gram, though. @DamonThaDon81.
Hey, bro bro, you pulling up tonight?
-You already know that. -All right, I'm gonna see you then.
I can smell the deposit slip on you, Big Time.
Whoo! That ride, is clean!
All you need now is one of these exclusive Louis Vuitton t-shirts.
Man, Virgil ain't make that shit.
See, see, see, that's what make it exclusive.
I ain't got it. I'm broke, baby.
Don't look broke to me.
-You're welcome. -You lucky I'm parched.
Cheap motherfucker.
Donation, donation!
How you put on the fuckin' AC, man?
I like your car.
Yeah. You know. Just taking it out for a drive.
I've never seen one of these in real life. Is it fast?
I can show you better than I can tell you.
Yeah.
- Right? - Yup. Yeah.
I'm doing it, right?
Stop it! Don't lie to me.
I swear.
Music has always been your calling.
You still making beats?
From time to time, fucking around with Damon.
To be real, making beats is a waste of time if I ain't making bread.
I should focus on something real.
One of my uncles in New Orleans actually does music.
And no matter what life threw at him, he never gave up.
I'm sure if he can make his dreams come true...
...you definitely can.
What about you?
I remember my mom made me go to those
little ballet recitals you did for Christmas.
You didn't give up on your dream, did you?
There's this modern dance studio in Culver City
I've been going to for a few months. Nothing major.
But, it's a start.
-That's what's up. -Thank you.
T... E... R.
"Do not enter." Ha-hah!
All right, wait, wait, wait.
- Shit. Man. - All right. Hey, come on.
Whoa!
Girl, you can't wear that. You wearin' my clothes.
Every little thing I do You're on my mind
The way I feel lately
It's driving me crazy
Damn. That shit look dangerous.
Yeah. Yeah, we good.
Where are you wearing this?
-Okay, toot it and boot it. -That what you want from me?
No. No.
Hey, y'all. What's up!
Let me know what you wanna do
Baby it's all good
All right. That's pretty much the layout.
All we need is 500 people in here to make our money.
Sly, you can keep count, right?
Shit, back when I was locked up, keeping count was my favorite pastime.
Now, the most important thing, we need to guard the trophy room at all times.
Any other questions?
Don't trip. We got your back.
I already talked to them. We ain't takin' no shit tonight.
All right.
Y'all heard the man. Shit gotta run smooth tonight.
So niggas better be locked and loaded, ready to hold shit down.
I didn't hear that. Fuck, man.
Anything else? Bathroom--
Damon is in the house.
LA's number one party host has arrived.
Was that LeBron's suit from yesterday? How the fuck is this your size?
Man, bro, chill, I got a tailor for the party, man.
-Are you serious? -Man, he ain't gonna notice this shit.
He got a grip of these.
Hold that thought.
What's that?
Man, there was so much extra suit... I had him make you one, too.
Gotta look the part, superstar.
I had him use the inside padding for yours.
Yin and yang. Yin and yang.
Yin and yang.
Go ahead, put that shit on, dawg.
Yeah, this shit actually clean, though. How you know my size, though?
I measured you one time when you asleep.
Tonight gonna be crazy.
Gonna make some money. Send my goddaughter to school.
Stay out of trouble. Feel me?
Might even fall in love.
Shit.
Man, let me fix my chains real quick. Know what I'm saying?
I know you're all thinking they're VVs, but they're not.
I got this shit from the Slauson.
-Busted! -Tsk! Shut up.
How this look?
Damn, that boy clean, man!
Yes, sir! Talk to 'em, Kev!
All right, look, seriously, though...
Just keep your eyes on the prize tonight.
Let everybody else have a fun time.
Tonight is about making money. That's it.
Yeah. That, and throwin' a dope enough party
to set us up to be the biggest promoters in the city.
In the city... Man!
Are you ready to make history, homie?
Hell, yeah.
Gimme some.
This is crazy. LeBron is the size of two normal humans.
Bro. Three.
Tsk! Man!
There was still some extra suit.
Had to make one for my goddaughter Destiny.
Here you go.
Keep that shit in the family, dawg.
I'mma go check on this party.
This nigga different.
Baby.
What took you so long? Been waiting.
- Yeah, y'all good. - No, they good. Yeah.
Stop. Turn around. Empty your pockets, lil' homie.
-Want me to take your picture? -Yeah.
Welcome, everybody. Glad to have y'all.
Make sure you have a good time, all right?
I see you, Black man. Yes, sir. Do your thing, king.
Damon! My God.
What's up, Shawna?
Yo! You really doin' your shit, man.
Look at you. This is so nice!
I am so proud of you.
I appreciate you, Shawna. For real, for real.
All right, man, go get yourself a drink and turn up, all right?
-Say less! -Yeah, you looking good too, girl.
Come on, y'all. Stop all that hoodrat shit.
Hey, Daryl, you made it out of the office! How you doin' boy?
Man, this is big time. Where did you find this?
Man, this probably the nicest house I've ever seen.
I know, right? But, man, I see you, player.
-I'm just trying to be like you. -No way, man.
I'm tryin' to keep up with you now.
Ooh.
Welcome to Off the Grid Part Two, people.
The party that never happened this time or the last.
What's up, yo? Thank you all for coming.
I'll send you all that beat pack in the morning.
All right, Sly, you good?
Shit, yeah. Copacetic.
Like two hundred people came through so far.
Already made a grip.
Cool, cool. So how's the line moving?
Line's still thicc like an IG chick. Keepin' it pushing.
That's bullshit!
He been holding the line all night. I been here two hours.
I already told you. If you don't like it, you can leave.
Hey, fuck you, doorman!
Sly, what the fuck, bro?
You can't do that. He gonna call the cops.
It's cool. I'm not calling the cops.
I'm going home to get my gun.
I'm gonna come back, and shoot everybody!
Sly?
I heard him say he live in the IE.
Ain't no way he getting there and back in time to kill nobody.
Next.
Yo, man. Cudi, bro. Hey, man. Thank you, bro.
Thank you, man. For real, bro. I'm like a big fan, bro.
I've been fuckin' with your music since, like, Man on the Moon.
Appreciate it.
Yeah, but I'm not talkin' about, like, "Day 'n' Nite" shit,
I'm talkin' about, like the whole album, bro.
My shit, what's my shit?
I mean, you know the shit.
Man, you sang that shit, man. Pursuit-- Pursuit--
"Pursuit of Happiness," bro. That's my shit.
-Man, you go crazy, man. -That's your shit?
That shit get me in my feelings every time, bro.
Hey, by the way. I'm Damon.
I'm the nigga that's running this whole shit.
This is me. I did this. For LeBron.
Word. That's what's up.
Where he at?
I had a special poem I needed to share with him.
Shit.
Like some exclusive new verse type shit?
No, nigga.
A poem. For him only.
That's-- Okay. Right.
It's cool, man. Shit's on fire. Yeah.
Well, he'll be around later, know what I'm talking about?
So, you can just enjoy yourself, man, enjoy the party, bro. Yeah.
I don't know. I never really go to parties.
Too much laughing.
Yeah, bro. I'mma go-- I'mma go check on everybody.
I'm gonna go-- Yeah. So, yeah. You can just...
Hey, hey. Cudi, man, you can just-- You can stay right there, bro.
Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of laughing out there.
A lot going on, man. So just, yeah.
You good, man.
That's my shit, man!
Okay, girl, okay, girl, okay, girl. Listen--
My goodness, you are the first real Black superhero, man!
You are the Black Power Ranger!
Thank you, I appreciate that.
-Here we go. -Come on. It's Morphin' time!
Don't hurt nobody doin' all that karate shit.
- Go on, now! - We'll see, we'll see.
-Can we get one? -Naw, bro. Tryin' to get these bitches.
-Guess who I just saw? -Mýa?
No. Nick Cannon coming out of the bathroom.
How many people did you call?
Damn, you invited Quan?
Yeah. You gotta watch his ass.
But man, you worried about the wrong things, Kev.
It's a party. Shit crackin', bro.
Look, we did this, all right?
- Man, so just relax. Have a good-- - Yo, DJ!
Hey, man, hold that thought.
Why you ain't got nothing to drink?
Nope. Gotta keep him fresh.
Hey!
- Hey. - Hey.
Damn. My-- I'm sorry.
I mean, you-- you look amazing.
-Thank you. Not too much? -No-- You look different.
- Like, good different. - Good.
-This you shit! -This is my shit!
It's my shit, too. I need to loosen up and dance.
-Come on, dance with me. -Yeah. Go ahead.
-Come on, dance with me. -No. I'm not ready to dance.
-No, they dancin', right in here. -I just got down here, Kevin, please.
Come on.
- You gotta dance, girl. - Yeah, everybody dance. Let's go.
Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
-Okay, come on. -This is embarrassing.
It's all right. Just like them ballet recitals, you remember?
You remember that?
We're gonna twirl like this.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Look at her.
-Okay, that's enough. -Hey, wait.
Kevin!
Monty, yo, we made it
It feels so good In my hood
Tonight
Yeah.
Whatever.
Forgot about the drive by
-Okay. -What's going on over here?
- Hey, Tinashe? - Tinashe?
Hey.
All right, yeah. Let's fuck it up.
Just follow my lead. We got this.
Shit! Damon Tha Don and Kevin goin' crazy on the dance floor.
G5, Kev. Let's go.
All right, you ready? Do what I do.
Let's go!
Let's do what we do. Yup.
This is how we do it
Whatever, whatever!
If you're an OG mack Or a wannabe player
You see the hood's been good to me
Ever since I was a lower-case G
But now I'm a big G
Old school.
If you were from where I'm from Then you would know
That I gotta get mine In a big black truck
You can get yours in a '64
Let's go!
Whatever it is, the party's underway
So tip up your cup And throw your hands up
And let me hear the party say
Hey, Venus, I-- Okay.
My goodness.
You're coming with me.
Wait, wait, wait! Venus, wait, wait!
Hey, man you live, boy. You living right now.
I don't know. Wait.
All right, we gotta-- we gotta stay focused.
No, man. Fuck that, it's a party, man. Turn up.
-This is crazy! -This is how we do it
- We definitely won that. - Absolutely ate it.
You're amazing. You're an amazing dancer.
Thank you.
I'm looking for some backup dancers.
Maybe you want to audition?
-Um... -For the road?
-Yes. Yes! -You'd be great.
- Yeah. My God. - Hit me up. DM me.
-I will! Bye, girl! -Bye!
Thank you!
He came up to Monty This is what he said
Sell a million records And we're makin' tha dash
I'm buzzin' because...
This is how we do it
Come on, man. Damn, they know me up in here.
Man, what the fuck?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck?
Get away from me, man.
Get the fuck outta here.
-This shit is weak. -Man.
-Mansion party's still going on. -Mansion party?
Yeah, this dude from Instagram.
That @DamonThaDon81? I just got the addy.
Let's go! That's--
Hey, hey. Send me that addy.
I'm supposed to meet my homeboy there.
What, I look like sending you an address to a--
How 'bout you send him the address,
or I shave your eyebrows with a lawn mower.
He-- he got the address.
Let me see that. Shut the fuck up. Hate light-skinned niggas.
Thank you.
-Hey, wait-- -You just got bullied, bro.
I ain't tryin' to die, bro.
God damn.
How hard it is to find some rum 'round this motherfucker?
What the fuck? What is that?
This nigga got a house behind the house.
Gotta be a drink in here somewhere.
Excuse me. Am I missing something, brother?
What the hell goin' on in here?
You missin' out on this high-octane, bro. We getting zooted.
This shit'll change your life.
Man, you need to hit this shit, okay?
I just came up with this fire-ass movie idea.
It's Roots, backwards.
-Stoor? -We go to Europe,
capture these motherfuckers,
we plant a bunch of shit, they have to pick it.
And it's just, like-- It's all flipped.
I get Bobby Brown to do the whole soundtrack.
All right? Stay tuned.
You might want to hit that, though, bro.
You good?
Shit, we done fucked up the koala.
Damn! look at all these... people! Damn!
Can't believe we spent $300 to get in here.
Man, fuck this shit.
Damn. This is nice.
Ooh.
But this is ugly.
Psst! Vic.
Vic.
- Victor! - Yes, Jesus?
-Psst! Come here, man. -The hell wrong with you, man?
Yo, I gotta piss. Watch my post.
Nigga, why are you so high?
Why you look like G.I. Joe?
Didn't give me no gun or nothing.
Hey, my man. You gotta sit down.
That's for sitting, not dancing.
-Hey, that's not a cup, bro! -My bad.
-Bro. Come on, now. -No, no. Stop. Get off me.
We having fun, man. Come on.
This shit getting out of hand. Where the fuck is Damon?
Damon?
Damn.
What the fuck, D?
Yo, man, you cock-blockin' like a motherfucker right now, dawg.
Cock-blockin'? Nigga, you got these hos in here, stealing.
Have you seen how out-of-control this party is?
What, like in a "go viral" type way?
Man, look at all this money we done made, bro.
Destiny is good.
The last thing we trying to do is go viral.
Remember, we gotta pay to clean all this shit up.
-The house is fucked up! -Hey, man. Bro, chill.
Nigga, it's a party, bro. Shit is lit.
We been going crazy on IG, too. Check the feeds.
What is you doing?
We're about to get shut the fuck down.
We gotta pay for shit.
We ain't even made the money we need yet!
Bro, I'm deleting all this shit.
-It's way too much. -Chill. All right? Relax.
They're gonna trace the party back to us. I'm done after this.
All right, look, man. Look, we just...
When summertime come around, we just, you know,
go hard on the promotion, switch up the strategy--
I don't think you heard me, I'm done, bro.
I'm making the money I need and I'm out.
Damn, man. Bro. What the fuck, man? Wait, bro.
Why is everything always about you, bro?
You ever thought about what I'm supposed to do
after you dip on me to take that IT job?
Man, you're selfish as fuck, bro.
-I'm selfish? -Hell, yeah.
Everything you do is fucked up.
Everything has been your fault.
Yeah, this bangin'-ass party I threw
to get you the money for your daughter is my fault?
Yes! We wouldn't even have to be in this position
if you hadn't got us kicked off the other one.
I got a life, bro. I got real responsibilities.
I have a daughter. You wouldn't understand.
You acting like I ain't had your back since day one, bro.
Destiny is my goddaughter, and I take that shit very serious.
That's why I keep putting you in a position to win, nigga!
And all that shit you done blame me for, bro...
I ain't force you to do none of that.
You gotta take responsibility for that.
And Destiny is not your goddaughter, so stop sayin' that.
You think if something happened to me I'd put my child's life in your hands?
I mean, you're irresponsible as fuck.
Um...
Can I have my shirt?
Rude.
Yeah. I know you see that big ol' booty.
That's because of me, nigga.
Ain't no pleasing you, man.
I stay lookin' out for you. But who lookin' out for Damon?
Damon is lookin' out for Damon.
Why else would you be up here while this party goin' to shit?
It's like you get me out of shit just to get me into even bigger shit.
Is that Daisy's chain?
So you did take that shit?
I gotta go clean up your mess.
-You could tell he was broke just now? -I could tell. I...
- It was the corduroy? - I see something.
You see what?
Kamika! Girl...
He look broke, too.
Kevin! You know what's crazy?
Excuse me.
I'm actually having a good time.
I'm a little tipsy. But I'm having a good time.
-Are you all right? What's good? -No, this party's going to shit.
Are you serious? Everything's fine, Kevin.
Look at it. People are-- White girl on a table.
Damon has fucked up everything, as usual.
I know the neighbors done called the cops by now.
-I need to go outside and check it. -No, no, no, don't-- Look.
Is Damon an idiot? Sure.
Hell, yes, actually. But you knew that.
So some of this is on you, right?
But it's okay, because... because you got this, okay?
We got this, okay?
We're gonna figure this out.
Relax.
- Remember? - Eureka! I found it.
Vic, you all right?
See, it's five minutes ago, and I was in a room with a koala and shit.
And now it's 45 minutes in the future, and now I'm eating waffles.
-What? -He hit the blunt.
He does this thing where he thinks he's time traveling.
DJ, you need to get your ass back in that booth, man.
That booth is a prison.
And I will not be jailed in your timeline, okay?
1976...
Weirdo.
Where Damon at, man?
Weak-ass art.
She got some titties.
Yo, Damon!
Damon!
Where you at, you little bitch?
That's why a gang of these lil' niggas Gone get shot
It's hard to grow up
Niggas ain't fucking with you so what
Sit yo ass down, get ya dough up
I don't ever judge with my nose up
I'mma blow up
This crazy.
What the fuck is this?
Cocaína.
Fine with me.
They throwing a party at LeBron James's house?
-Do you see this? -I see that.
-That's Cleveland right there. -That's Cleveland.
-Open this up. Open this up. -I get that side.
- Do the math. You get that side. - There's gotta be a lock or something.
No, no, no. It's on the top. The angle--
Whoa, whoa!!
Works every time.
What y'all think this worth?
Well, shit, way more than what we got right now.
Come on, y'all, we can't steal from the GOAT, James.
You know what I'm saying? That's crazy.
What, you a Laker fan?
Hell no, nigga, I'm a gymnastics fan.
Well, we in business, then. Let's go.
I'mma get rich on you
You can do this. You can do this.
Man, what the fuck? Man, put on some Migos or something.
It's 1998, bro. The Migos don't exist yet.
Hey! Come on, now. Wait up.
I was just-- Come on, we can--
We can go back. Hey! Hey!
What's up now, fuck boy?
We gonna beat your fucking ass!
Open the door! Hey, open the door. Open the door.
No. You got too much drama for us.
Open the door! Open the fuckin-- No!
No!
-What's up, yo? Yeah, come on. Come on. -Get up! Get up.
Go, go, go, go.
Hold him up.
I've been waiting all day for this shit, nigga.
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna tie you a table, right?
I'm gonna cut a whole bunch of holes in you.
And then very slowly, and carefully,
I'm gonna pull your organs out with tweezers, nigga.
-Like Operation? -Exactly like Operation.
It's my favorite game, you know why? Requires concentration.
First you go steal Daisy's chain. And then you gonna steal my crowd?
Hey, first of all, it was my crowd. All right?
And y'all niggas shouldn't even kicked us off the party.
Now we kicking your ass outside your party.
Hold up, hold up, hold up. What-- what is this?
-Hey, bro. I'm sorry, all right? All-- -Go to work.
Whoo!
Ooh!
- You all right? - Are you okay?
-Wait, wait! -The fuck is that?
What was that?
Whoa! Hell no! Who got the keys?
Chupacabra!
Y'all hurry up!
Damn.
I'm sorry I called you a fucked-up monkey before.
You really saved me-- Get off!
Somebody help me! She's fucking trying to kill me!
Here, koala, koala.
Come here. Come here, girl.
Hi, buddy.
Aren't you so cute!
Let you go.
Are you okay?
Yeah... Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Yeah.
Damon, right?
It's Damon, like the French... the French way?
Well, I'm Mýa.
Yeah, I know who you are.
- But how do you know my name? - Your e-mail.
You said you'd be wearing a flower.
- So you got my letter? - Yeah...
Your letter was just so touching and poetic...
I had to meet the person who wrote it.
What's wrong with you, bro? You had one job. Play the music.
To create a quantum computer...
-Vic! Vic! -Quantum computer...
Man, this shit getting fucked up.
-Vic, turn the music back on. -Quantum computer...
-Music is bad, man. -Quantum comp--
Music is just waves... that are fuckin' our ears.
We ain't made our money yet, bro. We gotta keep the party going.
Plug it back up. Come on.
-Vic... Vic, what's-- -'Scuse me, brother.
-What's wrong with you? -Back up. Back up.
Vic. Vic!
Vic! Vic.
Hey, um...
Just-- Sorry about that, folks.
We'll be up and running in a second.
2 Chainz! We got 2 Chainz in this motherfucker!
Yo, my nigga, yeah!
Could you come up here and perform a couple songs?
Nigga, I am not 2 Chainz.
Shit weak, bro.
Man, fuck this ol' bullshit weak-ass party.
You know what I'm saying? And I hit him with, like, the karate chop on his neck.
I was, like, pow, you know what I'm saying?
My God, Damon, you are so crazy.
Well, you know I done forgot my pills, so you know.
Off the hook.
Ooh... sounds pretty bad in there.
You want to get out of here? We could grab a drink someplace.
Everybody just calm down.
We gonna figure this out. Come on, man. Don't break stuff.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, but that's my friend. He dyin' in there.
You know, I just can't leave him like that.
Fuck.
You look great, by the way.
What the fuck, DJ? This ain't Juice.
All right, everybody, calm down, calm down, calm down. All right?
-Damon, what you doing? -Turn me up.
For real, man. Check my boy, Kev, on the beat one time.
His shit goin' crazy. All right?
Yo, why is this bro playing beats at a party?
Seriously, y'all. Thank y'all for coming out, man.
-Appreciate y'all so much. -I actually fuck with it.
So I got some news about the Migos.
Yeah, them niggas not coming.
But, fuck all that, all right?
We got stars galore, we got sexy-ass ladies.
I mean, y'all still trying to have a good time, right?
I said, y'all trying to have a good time, right?
Yeah!
All right, I wanna shout out the King, for making this shit happen.
And I wanna shout out you sexy motherfuckin' ladies out there, man.
Damn, y'all look good.
-Yo, I got this. -All right, cool.
Yeah, y'all feeing that?
Cash Money Records taking over for the '99 and 2000
Girl you working with some ass, yeah
This is what you want! Yeah!
Get out the way, this my shit!
You gon' ride in the Jag, yeah They mad, yeah
You could smoke or buy a bag, yeah
-Where you going? -Come on, coach, it's "Back That Azz Up."
Man, I only got one job tonight. And that is to keep you healthy and safe.
-My goodness-- -Season starts in weeks.
-Tsk! Come on-- -Odell...
You agreed.
Odell!
Now, you know he dead.
The nigga with the money, yeah, Don't act funny, yeah
Got birds and I'm running, yeah, 'Bout a hundred, yeah
Girl, you looks good Won't you back that ass up?
You's a fine motherfucker Won't you back that ass up?
Juvie, I love you! Answer my DMs! Answer my DMs!
Girl, you looks good Won't you back that ass up?
You's a fine motherfucker Won't you back that ass up?
I just wanna send a special shout-out to my niece, Venus,
for bringin' me down here and making this shit all possible.
Look, man, y'all put them hands back up. We in the King's mansion.
Do the ladies run this motherfucker?
Hell, yeah!
Is my dawgs in this motherfucker?
Hell, yeah!
You got Juvenile to perform last minute?
How?
That's, my uncle from New Orleans I was telling you about.
Wait, Juvenile's your uncle?
Wait, wait. How come you never said anything?
I don't know. He's just my Uncle Terry that I never see.
He just happened to be in town for my sister's graduation.
Venus, I-- I can't thank you enough.
Hey, man! Y'all give it up for Juvie the Great...
We're in this together. Okay?
- Hey. Kenton, right? - My--
I don't know what's going on here, pal, but the party is over. O-V-E-R.
I found my sweet little Marley here higher than a giraffe's vagina,
and I found this in her pouch.
Drugs! Gummy drugs! Crack, probably.
Makes me sick. I'm calling the police.
- Peter, hey... - Yeah, I'm calling the cops.
I'm glad you're here, too. The cops are gonna come get you, too.
-Peter... -You're all going to prison.
-Peter. -Look at this cute-ass koala!
- Well... Yeah. - Let me take a picture with it.
-Well... she's on drugs, but... -My followers gonna love this!
Yeah, Hey, Mika. Mika. Peter is super-influential.
I mean, he got a bunch of stuff you could take pictures with back at his crib.
He's one of LeBron's rich neighbors.
Yeah, I do-- Yes. Yeah. Well, I have a-- I have a private jet.
-Is that right? -That is right.
- Yeah. - I would like to see it.
-I want to show it to you. -Yeah.
Hi. Marley. Hi, baby.
Damn. Shit. That was close, bro.
- There you are. - Hey.
Hey.
Shit. Mýa?
This the friend that was getting booed?
You know he came back for you, right? Instead of leaving with me.
You got a good one right here.
Truce?
Tsk! Truce?
Hey, yo. We got a big problem.
What the fuck! Man, how'd this happen?
I asked Vic to watch the door to take a piss, but he bailed on it.
Vic?! That's the wrong person you ask to watch anything!
- My bad. - Yo, question.
Was it the Miami ring?
'Cause y'all know he didn't deserve that shit.
-No. -You think this shit funny?
-Sorry. -I could lose my daughter, bro.
-I was trying to lighten the mood. -Sly, you gotta keep the door moving, man.
We need to make sure we got enough to cover the damages to the house.
How the fuck we gonna replace the ring, though? Fuck!
Yo, Sly, I'm gonna need you to search everybody, all right?
We gotta find that ring.
Didn't you have more guys with you?
I had my cousin, Gavin. But I ain't seen him in hours.
Ooh, I've been wanting this all day.
Thank you, brother. Yes, sir.
Damn, that's all you?
Yes! These are my Obama specials. Okay?
I voted for him... three times.
Yes we can. Yes we can.
-Everybody, hands! Hands, bro! -Let me see your hands.
-Everybody. Yo, hands. -Let's see your hands.
Got it! Got it! Here it is.
- Yo, man, where'd you get this ring at? - Man, I won it.
What you mean, win this ring, man? Prove it!
Bro, I'm Tristan Thompson.
It is Tristan Thompson! Yo, but your hand big!
God damn. I thought you had elephantitis or some shit, man.
-Hey, man. Sly. -Sly, you find it?
We're still working on it.
We ain't never gonna find LeBron's ring, bro.
Kev, we gotta replace it.
We gotta try one of them black markets or something.
-Wait, y'all lost LeBron's--? -Shh!
No, we didn't-- we didn't lose it. It was stolen.
-Are you serious? -Yeah, somebody stole it.
I can get another ring.
Damn, Cudi. Where'd you come from?
Wait, wait, wait, what'd you just say?
I can get y'all another ring.
Like another one-of-a-kind NBA Championship ring?
Yeah. Just let me know the year.
-How? -What?
Simple. The Illuminati.
The Illuminati. Man!
Man, Cudi, we ain't got time for this bullshit.
All right. I was just trying to help you little niggas.
Hold on, wait, wait. Cudi, Cudi-- You serious?
Look at me. I don't joke about the Illuminati.
Come... come on, Kev. You not buying this, are you?
I mean, look at this man, bro. He is a crazy person.
Look-- he eating an apple in a party. Who eats an apple in a party, Kev?
-That's the sign of a madman right there. -Let's just hear him out.
Even if we get a replica, until we find the real one.
All right, Kev. All right. Go ahead.
All right, so there-- there's rings in this house?
The Illuminati gets a copy of every championship trophy
and a few rings dating back to the first baseball and lacrosse games.
Lacrosse...
It's a prestige thing.
There's a party tonight.
I'm just gonna skip it.
Okay... let's say, for the sake of this story, I believe you,
and how do we-- how would we get one of the rings?
-How? -It's the Illuminati.
Nobody gives a fuck about that shit.
We all got money.
I've seen better cock rings than NBA Championship rings.
- Okay, that's-- Okay.
Look, I'll go. And you watch the party.
What? Bro, you shitting me, bro?
The Illuminati? Man, I gotta see this, if--
If he talkin' about something, I gotta come and see this.
Somebody got to stay here and keep things under control!
I'll do it.
I will watch the party while you guys... do this.
I can't ask you to get involved, though.
You didn't ask me. I'm volunteering.
Besides, I would've been left by now.
Whoo, hoo-hoo! Yeah, that's my dawg.
I'm sorry to mess a good moment up, but you know, we got shit to do.
Go, go, go. Yeah, yeah, go.
Okay, so the plan is simple. I'll bring you two in as my guests.
One wrong move and we're dead.
Just be cool, and don't say more than you have to.
These are my two manservants.
Of course, Scott.
Damon, you're gonna head to the trophy room.
Get in, get out.
While you do that, we'll mingle amongst the crowd.
Okay. Don't embarrass me.
Just be cool.
Mr. Cuban?
Look, I... I know you get this all the time, but I got this idea.
I'll buy it.
But... I mean, you haven't even heard the rest of the idea.
We'll be in touch.
Wait, I got-- I got my-- a cell phone.
We'll be in touch.
Who's "we"?
A little wine. Okay. Thank you.
Thank you. All right.
This is the first ritual.
-Take a sip to show solidarity. -Okay, what kind of wine is this?
It look a little different.
It's not wine. It's blood.
-What? -Drink it, or you'll blow our cover.
Hell no.
Drink that shit, nigga, right now.
Come on, come on.
It smell funny. This smell funny.
Dignified and esteemed ladies and gentlemen.
Gather round and honor our beloved guest,
Ms. Dolly Parton, who will be performing a psychedelic rap.
This crazy.
Yeah. Okay.
Before you leave tonight, do not forget to choose
which days it will rain next year. Furthermore,
-the blood drive has low numbers. -All right, niggas. Let's go.
So please donate on the way out or find a victim.
Thank you very much. Enjoy the night.
Shit, man. Ain't that Kid 'n' Play?
Hey, God bless you, man.
What? Y'all trippin' man.
Intruders!
Hey, fuck you, Cudi!
Punch me again, see what happen, bro.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We have two late additions to tonight's entertainment.
What the fuck is this?
Yo, Kev. What the fuck is they clapping for?
Destiny can't grow up fatherless, bro. Fuck that.
Sh--!
Yo, check it out. Y'all gotta snap out of it.
I got the perfect game plan. Y'all just gotta follow my--
Let me get through. I'm sorry, y'all.
I'm sorry. I wanna leave, let me in!
- Are they pointing at us? - Shit, Kev! We can take 'em, Kev!
We can take 'em. All right, one... two...
-Naw, fuck that! -Fuck that!
Man, let me through! Let me through! Let me through!
Bro, let me in. No? Damn! Shit!
Not today!
Come on, I don't wanna go out there!
I don't wanna get out!
Hey, man, I love you, Kev.
I love you too, man.
Cudi! Watch out, Cud!
Yeah, motherfucker!
Ice, ice, baby!
Are you not entertained!
Are you motherfuckers not entertained!
Cudi! Cudi! Cudi!
Shit, get up, Cudi.
-Get up, Cudi! -He gon' get up.
Come on, Kev, we gotta save him.
- Shit, Cudi! - Shit, Cudi.
Damn. They fucked him up.
Shit. Hey, Cudi, man. You saved our lives, man.
Damn. Hip-hop really saved my life, Kev.
You guys won the blood trials. They'll let you go now.
Hey, Cudi, man. Stop talking, all right?
We're gonna get you to a hospital. I mean, it's the Illuminati, right?
They gotta have a helicopter or some shit, man?
Make sure LeBron gets this poem.
Shit, is this the verse?
-Only he can read it. -Damn.
Shit. Don't die on us, man.
Hey, Cudi, don't die on us, man!
Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.
They'll bring me back.
I'm actually the fourth Cudi.
I knew it.
You both have been the realest friends I've had in years.
-Wait, really? We just met you. -Yeah.
Vibes.
But hey, I'm serious.
That's for LeBron's eyes only.
Shit. Kev, give him some CPR.
-Cudi, wake up! -Put your lips on him.
Shit!
Hey, man, he dyin' over there!
Hey, come on, man! Come on!
What the fuck just happened?
I don't even know, bro.
But man, I need a drink.
Yeah.
Hey...
Yeah, some of that merlot!
Man. We dodged a bullet.
Hell, yeah.
Let's shut this party down, man. We made enough money to fix everything.
-Hell, yeah. -Come on.
Wait, wait, wait. Cudi's poem.
-All right, come on. -Come on. I'll be serious. Let's roll.
Yo, get up outta here, bro.
Move, move.
Yo! Listen up!
You ain't gotta go home, but you gotta--
Man, who the fuck turned the light on?
What the fuck?
King! King!
Snoop, what'd I tell you about smoking in the house, man?
My bad, King. Hey, put that out. Y'all heard him. Put it out.
Yo, what you doing here?
Came to bring you that lowrider, the Six-Four.
Yeah, I appreciate that, Big Dogg, but...
who invited you here?
Your assistants. These two lil' niggas right here.
- Hey... - Surprise.
Hold up, hold up.
I know you niggas ain't got on my Draft Day suit.
Fuck, he noticed.
How did y'all even--
Who the fuck are you two?
Um...
We work for the cleaning service that cleans your house, sir.
Cleaning service?
I'm calling the police, man. I'm too rich for this shit.
Wait, don't call the cops, LeBron.
Look, we are... cleaners.
But I'm also a young, Black... broke party promoter, too, so...
We was gonna have everything fixed and ready to go by the time...
you, got back, but...
-Shit. -My fault.
Nigga, that's the King.
-We could... We could fix that. -We gonna fix all that shit, too.
-Yeah. -Easy.
Well, ain't you supposed to be in, like, India,
meditating for, like, two weeks or something?
It only took me one week to reach enlightenment.
I'm the fuckin' GOAT.
Yeah, he is the GOAT.
-Yeah, yeah. It's true. -It's true.
So let me get this straight. Y'all broke into my crib...
...invited all your homies,
and then go to tear my shit up, too?
I mean, you make it bad when you put it like that, you know, it's--
-We had a key. We didn't-- -Okay, let me say it like this, then.
Both of you niggas goin' to jail.
- No, wait, man! - I can't go to jail.
-LeBron, don't call the cops, man. -Come on. Come on.
All right, man. Look, man. The truth is... this is my dawg, all right?
He ain't had nothing to do with it.
This whole party, this whole shit, this all me, all right?
Okay, cool. So they could just take you.
Damn, man! God.
No! I don't wanna go to jail.
All right! All right...
Let me, let me give you a proposition, all right?
-Play me for it. -What?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, let's hoop. All right?
And then I can finish what I started.
I'm gonna get this whole place cleaned up and then we can put this behind us.
All right, if I win, those are my terms.
First to 11, win by two.
Man, this guy funny.
No fucking way.
Let him play.
I mean, I think-- Let him play, right?
Let him play.
Let him play. Let him play.
Let him play! Let him play!
Let him play. Let him play.
-Fine. -All right.
-Let's fucking go. -Let's do this. Yeah.
Whoo!
So you really gonna play in my suit, dawg?
What?
Man. Why is he talking to me like he know me, bro?
I'm different.
I'm different, bro.
Okay. All right, so we bought some time. What's the actual plan here?
-To win, nigga. -What?
You know I could've went to the league, right?
Are you fucked up?
-He's really-- -Yeah, I'm a little fucked up.
Hey, that's when I play at my best, though.
All right, freedom on three. One, two, three--
Freedom!
Let's go!
Shit, he's about to fucking-- Going to jail.
Ramos. Powder, please.
Appreciate it.
That's what it was.
-Let's shoot for ball. -All right?
It's regular, man.
Maybe this nigga actually can do this if he just take long range shots--
No chance in hell.
No chance.
Go against the squad You ain't using your senses
I murder you on tape And let the news be the witness
Hurry up, man.
All right. All right. All right, man. Shit.
What is this? I don't get this
And neither does the general consensus
Shit.
-All right. -It's okay.
It's all right. That's just one point.
Allow you to address You bowing to the best
Bet you can't do this, nigga.
We making all this noise Before the albums even pressed
Foul, foul, foul.
-Come on, get up. -Let's go. Let's go.
Yo, A.D.! Yo, A.D., man!
A.D.! A.D.! Come on, bro.
Tag in, bro, I need some help. He's too powerful.
No, you got it, bro.
You won't even be the best basketball player on your prison team.
Lead a stampede of MCs Here on this coast
So lets shepherd the herd Professor with words
Stay fresh off some herb
No extra preserves
And if you mothafuckas Can't catch up then merge
King, none less is deserved
Games wide open 'Cause my game's like potion
- Shit. - Come on, bro, get up!
All right, LeBron, man. Come on. Show some mercy.
All right, you a family man. You got kids.
Just-- I don't know, just treat me like I'm one of your kids, all right?
Like, you can ground me or something, man.
But... don't make the shot.
- Don't take the shot. - Tsk!
Don't take the shot. Don't--
Call the cops.
Man, I can't believe it.
I mean... he is the best player in the world, so...
No, I can't believe you taking the blame and going to jail, bro.
Come on, man. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
I guess I kind of resented you for trying to dip on me, or whatever.
But... I'm realer than that.
We'll get you out of there, man.
Can't have Destiny's godfather behind bars for long.
Hey, yo, this shit crazy, man. You all over Instagram. You've gone viral.
Man, it's on Diddy's page. You even trending on Christian Mingle.
I don't know how that shit happened. But it did, though.
Hey! When you gonna throw the next one?
Just make sure you get my goddaughter into school, all right?
Exclusive merch! Two for five! Say your pride!
Okay, two for ten. Come and spend!
You all "drunk" drunk.
I mean, it was probably the stupidest idea you've ever had.
But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun.
Yeah. Well, thank you for having my back, though.
-I got you. -Yeah?
My God.
It's so cute.
What the fuck is this?
My God.
I needed this, man.
Wow.
After Off the Grid Two, life changed for a whole lot of people.
Damon was sentenced to a year, but after LeBron read Cudi's poem,
he reached a plane above enlightenment,
and convinced the judge to release him early.
Mýa was right there to pick him up when he got out.
Don't know how he pulled that.
Angel
Those janky-ass promoters got arrested
for trying to sell LeBron's ring on OfferUp.
Hope somebody beat they ass.
Mika moved in with Peter, and his koala started liking her more than him.
She's thinking about bringing Marley back to Houston.
I guess the joke's on him now.
Venus and I took the leap and moved in together.
And after the party, she decided to focus on dancing full-time.
And Vic finally made it back to our timeline
and vowed to stick to Hennessy from now on.
As far as the money we made,
we ended up having to give it all back to LeBron
for fucking up his house.
That nigga's so rich he just donated it to charity.
-You did this? -Yeah, yeah.
Thanks to Damon, though, I ended up selling one of my beats
to Big Sean and Hit-Boy.
That made me enough money to send Destiny to preschool, high school and college.
I guess Venus was right. Dreams are worth chasing.
And as far as our new friend...
Yeah. I'm back, baby.
Looks like we about to throw a house...
Excuse me?
...party.
What y'all think this is worth?
About 48,762 dollars and--
You been watching Antiques Roadshow?
Did you fart?
No, that was-- that was-- Yeah, that was me.
Cut.
We've been locked in the house all year.
We're trying to get naked on a beach.
Smoke weed. Talk to a parakeet.
Maybe have his kids land on my erect penis, I don't know.
They might think it's a tree or something.
Got kids in here, nigga.
Yeah, I just wanted to chat him up and maybe get him
to sign something, if you know what I mean.
Hey, man, come on.
No, no, no, guys. It's a Laker jersey.
- Right. - That's my wire.
-Right, man. He the feds! -I'm the feds!
I posted two black squares on my Instagram, by the way.
Just to let you know how BLM I am. One for me, one for Marley.
Because we are... we're down.
I was gonna go to the protest.
- But...? - I didn't go.
I came up with this fire-ass movie idea, okay?
It's Five Heartbeats meets Demolition Man. Same director.
It's The Five Heartbeats meets Jurassic Park.
It's Roots backwards.
So instead of Roots, it's called Trees.
My hosting shit really starting to take off, too.
I got all my famous--
Yeah, my hosting shit gonna go up, too. I got all my--
Sorry, the water keep going in my nose. One more time.
You would've been a phenomenal baseball player, by the way.
That headband makes you look 20 years younger.
Someday, you'll be the governor of Ohio.
How many teams you think we can win championships with?
Drake finally asked for that feature, didn't he?
It's Taco Tuesday! You handsome devil, you.
You don't have to put those pants on.
I don't?
Now you got your balls on the camera for no reason.
Balls on camera. Shit.
Nigga, I'm gonna cram this straw up your butt
and slurp your brains through your asshole!
I'm gonna braid your hair then I'm gonna scalp you, put it on my head
and I'm gonna play Shemar Moore in that Tyler Perry movie!
I'm gonna grab your earlobes and I'm gonna flip inside your scalp,
then put my hand up your ass, grab your earlobes,
pull it out your ass till you're inside out, nigga.
Looney Tunes!
Damn. Get your marasupal-ass away from me, man.
Marasup-- What is it, "marasupial?"
- "Marsupial." - Yeah. Get your marasup--
Wait. I can't even pronounce that word. Say it again?
-"Mar-supial." -Marsupial, all right.
-Yeah, say the word again? -"Marsupial."
All right, marsupial.
The fuck is up with this mara-supial-- marsupial motherfucker, man?
Tsk! Fuck.
Your letter was just so touching and poetic.
I had to meet the person who wrote it.
Yo, cut, I'm blushing too much. Shit.
Please.
Hey, why is this nigga playin' beats at a party?
-You say-- -I forgot what I--
Is my dawgs in this motherfucker?
Hell, yeah!
Everybody trying to add a little bit of bass in they voice, ain't they?
Yeah!
Hell, yeah!
Y'all niggas don't sound like that!
We got a big problem.
What now, bro?
Cosby's outside.
You a mess. You a mess.
Yo, shoot for ball.
Fuck. Yeah!
Run that shit back.
Motherfucking go in the fucking net, man.
It's regular, man.
All right, that's a wrap on LeBron James!