1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:03,336 I know Christmas might be hard, 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:04,420 but isn't that why we need it, 3 00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:05,838 especially this year? 4 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,174 - You're done? - What else is there to say? 5 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,927 They need you, I get that, but, Amy, what do you need? 6 00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,512 Can you tell me, Leigh? 7 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:16,098 Is there a point when you stop pulling the Matt card? 8 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,392 You act like you are the only person 9 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,561 who was ever an alcoholic or adopted, 10 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,313 but there are a lot of people 11 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,398 in the exact same pain you're in 12 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,483 and they have figured out 13 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:26,859 how not to be living nightmares. 14 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,611 Team Shaw is..., and I can't believe it took me 15 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,363 so long to figure out that you'll never change. 16 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,739 I don't wanna be a part of this family. 17 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,157 You're a terrible family. 18 00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:36,662 Stop it! We are supposed to be all that we have! 19 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,414 You are so condescending 20 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,415 and you think you're so much better than anyone. 21 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,917 Oh, my God. 22 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,001 But you're a horrible instructor. 23 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,169 My clients hate you. 24 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,629 You are even more unbearable now 25 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,047 - than when you were drunk. - You're ungrateful and a snob, 26 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,382 and I am so fully over your... 27 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,384 Yeah, I've been over yours for, like, a decade. 28 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,470 Okay, okay. Let's all take a deep breath, hmm? 29 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,931 I'd like to commend you both for showing up and digging in. 30 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,266 This is not easy. 31 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,102 Oh, I had to drag them here by their teeth. 32 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,521 And what is exceptionally clear to me 33 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,815 is how much the two of you care about one another. 34 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,526 However, you do have some trouble listening. 35 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,653 Leigh, what's coming up for you? 36 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,281 Well, I'm still pissed about what she said earlier, 37 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,241 that I can only see the hole Matt left 38 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,701 and not the people standing around it, 39 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,370 like I'm supposed to be grieving on her terms. 40 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,705 - No, no, no. - She's not criticizing you. 41 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,081 Jules, is that a fair assessment? 42 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,708 Let her answer. 43 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,710 She can grieve however she needs to. 44 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,296 - I just wish that... - I don't know. 45 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:31,090 She acts like I'm this deadweight dragging her down. 46 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,635 Why can't she see me as a life raft or something? 47 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,470 You know what? I wanna try an empathy exercise. 48 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:37,631 The two of you switch places. 49 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,392 Hmm? 50 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:51,485 Now, we are going to reenact your last argument 51 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,778 but with the roles reversed. 52 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,072 - So I'm Leigh? - Mm-hmm. 53 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,324 I do not do that with my face. 54 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,700 You totally do. 55 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,785 Well, at least I don't do this with my eyebrows. 56 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,913 Okay, okay, start over. 57 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,331 Empathy. 58 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,083 Leigh... 59 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,794 it is so deeply unfair 60 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,047 how differently we get treated, 61 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,507 like I don't belong in the family. 62 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,467 Oh, that is patently false. 63 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,885 I mean, I love both of them equally. 64 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,428 Mom, jeez. 65 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,888 Let them work it out. 66 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,723 Whatever, Jules. 67 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,308 You are so selfish. 68 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,643 You make everything about you, 69 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,603 like when you called me drunk to pick you up 70 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:28,022 and robbed me of Matt's last night alive. 71 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,065 No, she would never think that. 72 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,107 She does not think that. 73 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,776 - Amy. - My God. 74 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,611 So you're just making things up now. 75 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:35,530 That's good. That's really productive. 76 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,823 Thank you both for being so open. 77 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,409 Unfortunately, we are out of time. 78 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,453 But for homework, 79 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:45,665 I would like you to take on a project together... 80 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,542 something you don't normally do. 81 00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:49,877 Are you... are you hosting any holiday meals? 82 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,214 My ex-husband and his wife and daughter 83 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,341 are coming for dinner tomorrow, 84 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,302 and I'm making a savory vegan nut loaf. 85 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,720 Okay, well, how about the two of you 86 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,806 prepare dinner this year? 87 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,183 - As a team? - That's just not gonna happen. 88 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,601 I mean, 89 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,728 they can't be in the same room together, for a start, 90 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,647 and also, you know, they don't really cook. 91 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,691 Well, this might be a good opportunity 92 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,192 to foster their independence. 93 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,487 Well, there's no reason to spoil a good meal for that. 94 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,406 I mean... 95 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,157 - Do you take Visa? - Mm-hmm. 96 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,659 You know, I know that this session 97 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,119 has been mostly about Jules and Leigh, 98 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,079 but I would like to give you some things 99 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,414 to think about this week. 100 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:27,957 Oh, s... me? 101 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:31,085 I noticed during our session that you spoke on their behalf 102 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,628 and defended your own choices 103 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,797 and occasionally used affection 104 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,258 as a barrier to self-exploration. 105 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,801 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 106 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:43,472 I mean, I... I can't just sit by and let them savage each other. 107 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,558 I mean, that's not how I show love. 108 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,935 Well, you can show them love without undermining them. 109 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,687 Undermining them? 110 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,439 Well, what does that mean? 111 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,900 Wait... sorry. I'm hurting them? 112 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,778 Unconsciously, perhaps. 113 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,447 You know what? I promise. 114 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,699 I promise we will get into this our next meeting. 115 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:05,244 For now, don't worry about it. Just hang back a little. 116 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,372 And have a merry Christmas, hmm? 117 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,187 Mom. 118 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:38,319 Hey, since when is doing things 119 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,570 for your children a crime? 120 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:41,906 I mean... I'm a mother, for Chrissake. 121 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:44,575 - What is this word? - Crudités. 122 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,202 It's a platter of raw vegetables. 123 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,704 - I know what it means. - I just can't read her writing. 124 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,122 Can you get the flour? 125 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,124 Hello? 126 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,960 I'm "Merry Christmas" -ing Matt's mom. 127 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,211 You know, you girls, 128 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,046 you don't think I'm undermining, do you? 129 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,298 This recipe has red wine. 130 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,299 No, I wouldn't use that word. 131 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,717 Well, what word would you use? 132 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,095 "Overprotective." 133 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,638 "Extra-loving"? 134 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,098 - That's four words. - Mom. 135 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,934 - What? - Grape juice. Fridge door. 136 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,311 How about "controlling"? 137 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,397 Wha... 138 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:17,567 You know, neither of you girls would have a job 139 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,235 if I didn't run my own business. 140 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,195 Did you buy Parmesan? 141 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,407 - Yeah, I did. - Okay, where is it? 142 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,243 - You know what? - It's your meal. 143 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,745 You find it. 144 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,962 Nut loaf. 145 00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,131 It's the saddest loaf known to man. 146 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,966 Maybe we could change it up this year. 147 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,844 Sabrina's back on red meat. We could do a rib roast. 148 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,013 That's, like, varsity-level cooking. 149 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,057 - Salt, pepper, garlic, butter. - We can handle it. 150 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,642 Okay, well, you lead, then. 151 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,645 You want me to boss you around? 152 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,940 Pretend like I don't know what to do with this. 153 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,817 Just make it smaller. 154 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,446 Whole Foods delivers, right? I think they have meat. 155 00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,573 That thing you said in therapy 156 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:09,285 about robbing me of Matt's last night... 157 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,454 you know I never said that. 158 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,748 - I know. - Not during our last fight, 159 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:17,335 not when he died, and just never, basically. 160 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:18,794 Okay, well, some part of you must blame me. 161 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,046 He could've needed someone... no, listen. 162 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,172 No, not me. 163 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,757 Leigh, I need you to listen 164 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,175 because I was really drunk that night and... 165 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,385 You were really drunk a lot of nights, 166 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,262 and you've done a lot of crappy things. 167 00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:31,350 None of them had anything to do with Matt's death. 168 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,019 What if they did, though? 169 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,481 You really think that? 170 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,858 Jules. 171 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,528 Look, I can't tell you how to feel, 172 00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:46,740 but that is not how I feel. 173 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:48,992 Okay? 174 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,495 Okay. 175 00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,461 Give me a few things to think about? 176 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,630 Would you, lady? Really? 177 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,882 Give you a few things to think about. 178 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,467 Undermining them? 179 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:10,263 I am the most supportive person they know, you bitch. 180 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,890 Barrier to self-exploration. 181 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,518 You don't know me, lady. 182 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:20,022 All I goddamn do is explore myself. 183 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,651 - She's still vacuuming. - Hose attachment? 184 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,653 - Yep. - She's leveled up. 185 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,910 I have never seen those. 186 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,288 Yeah, I think it's her and Richard's wedding china. 187 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,999 Oh, weird that she kept it. 188 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,709 Have we never had more than 189 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,711 four people over for Christmas dinner? 190 00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:45,047 - Nope. - Just the three of us and Matt. 191 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,216 And then there was that girl that you were dating. 192 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,594 Sleeping with, for, like, a month. 193 00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,137 God, she was so annoying. 194 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,346 Couldn't get over how I didn't wanna 195 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,557 talk to her about my birth family. 196 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,101 She thought it was this fun mystery or whatever, but, like, 197 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,687 back off, Nancy Drew. 198 00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,232 Would you ever wanna talk to me about it? 199 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,819 Um... sure. 200 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:07,946 What do you wanna know? 201 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,575 Do you ever think about meeting them? 202 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,952 - Well... - Yeah. 203 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:18,372 I have this phrase memorized just in case. 204 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,211 It means, "Are you my mother?" 205 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:24,755 What if she says yes? 206 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,220 Sorry, Jules. Did I... did I say something wrong or... 207 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,554 You're fine. 208 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,057 I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it. 209 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,476 I gotta grab my stuff out of Evie's room. 210 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,644 She's back from boarding school tonight, 211 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:42,647 so I guess I'm on the pullout couch. 212 00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:43,774 Got it. 213 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,319 Happy almost Christmas. 214 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,739 - You too. - I'll see you in the morning. 215 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,885 Are you trying to spark joy? 216 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,638 Did you know 217 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,766 that when Swedes reach middle age, 218 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,394 they throw out all the stuff they don't need 219 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:25,523 so that their kids don't have to go through it when they die? 220 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:29,527 Well, you are not dying, and you're also not Swedish. 221 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,404 How's the meal going? 222 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,030 - It's good. - We're making a roast. 223 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,450 - A roast? - Who decided that? 224 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,078 We both did. 225 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,290 Wow, that's great. 226 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,597 How come we never had people over for holiday dinners? 227 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,140 - What people? - You're my people. 228 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,558 You know what I mean. 229 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,185 Because my mother is crazy, 230 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,645 and my family is a product of her madness, 231 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,855 and I've told you this many times. 232 00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,231 Yeah, but you always say she's crazy, 233 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,774 and you don't say why. 234 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,402 You rarely tell stories about her. 235 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,905 Anyway, she's old now. She could've softened. 236 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,156 - Katherine? - No, no. 237 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,367 She doesn't soften. She calcifies. 238 00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:24,248 Okay, um... 239 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,541 I'll tell you about the time 240 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,584 that my grandma bullied my mother 241 00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:28,544 into taking me roller-skating. 242 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,756 I was seven... I think. 243 00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,257 So my mother drags me there, 244 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,593 and then she just leaves me to lace up my own skates. 245 00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,386 So, well, I get them on eventually, 246 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,804 but then I just keep falling over. 247 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,139 So I watch her. 248 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,934 Oh, she is zipping around the rink. 249 00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:45,394 Backwards and forwards. She's spinning and jumping. 250 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,272 She is the best skater there. 251 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,317 This goes on for hours and hours. 252 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,486 And then, of course, my stomach starts growling. 253 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:57,907 So I wave at her, you know. She doesn't notice. 254 00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:02,495 So I start sneaking fries off of other people's trays. 255 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:05,164 Well, somebody calls the management. 256 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:08,543 So Katherine comes over. Know what she does? 257 00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:13,214 She smacks me, hard, right across the face. 258 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,675 Seven. 259 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,885 How's that for undermining? 260 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,054 God, that's awful. 261 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,514 - Oh, no, no. - It's fine. 262 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,976 I have a lot of those stories. They all end the same way. 263 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,812 You know, go and get some rest. 264 00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,147 You got a big day tomorrow. 265 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:31,859 Okay. 266 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,699 Those are going. 267 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:26,078 Oh! 268 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,580 Oh, my God. 269 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,342 Wow. 270 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,646 Aw. 271 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,577 I didn't realize you smoked. 272 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:48,995 Only when I can't sleep. 273 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,790 What's got you up at 4:00 a.m.? 274 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:56,419 Oh, invites and menus and favors. 275 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,463 And Richard and I, we had a courthouse wedding, 276 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,840 so, you know, this is all new to me, 277 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,593 and I have a... anxiety rash. 278 00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:05,344 But it's gonna be beautiful. It's gonna be beautiful. 279 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,222 - Oh, my God. - What about you? 280 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,641 Oh, um, well, 281 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:13,436 our first dance is a rumba step. 282 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:16,397 Yeah, so I'm screwing that up. Gonna humiliate myself, but... 283 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:18,066 Well, maybe I can help. 284 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,445 - Oh, my God. - Okay. 285 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,451 Oh, man. 286 00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:33,122 ♪ ♪ 287 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,750 All right. 288 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,293 - Don't laugh. - No, I'm not. 289 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:40,087 Okay. 290 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,507 - Yup. - Uh-huh. 291 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,051 We get it almost every night 292 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,386 Slow. Good. 293 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,804 - That's great. - Yeah? 294 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,181 - Yeah. - Oh. 295 00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:52,058 - Your footwork is great. - Okay, yeah. 296 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,101 Just keep it a little bit loose. That's it. 297 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,354 - Don't put your head down. - Oh, right. 298 00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:58,147 - That's it, perfect. - Okay. 299 00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,690 You look great! 300 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,484 - Uh-huh. - And then a little cross step. 301 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,736 Right, okay, and then boom. 302 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,863 - That's it. - Quick, slow. 303 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,615 - Uh-huh. - Quick, quick, slow. 304 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,742 - And get your hips in... oh. - Yeah, no, I don't want... 305 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,244 I'm sorry. 306 00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:13,325 You're just a little locked in your head, that's all. 307 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,499 I just keep on telling myself to breathe, 308 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,752 but the more I say it, the less air actually I take in. 309 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:22,213 I feel like my fight-or-flight response 310 00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:24,131 is busted somehow. 311 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,759 Aw, everybody feels the urge to bail before their wedding. 312 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,052 It's normal. 313 00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:31,431 Oh, no, I... I don't wanna run away from Leigh. 314 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,350 Actually, I'm afraid I'm gonna run at her so hard 315 00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:36,645 that I'm gonna totally destroy her. 316 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,606 You know, I remember that feeling. 317 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:44,068 You spend so much time running away from people 318 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,195 that the first time you run towards somebody... 319 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,865 well, it's a lot. 320 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,492 Who was yours? 321 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,203 - Richard. - Mm-hmm. 322 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:57,623 Do you know he invited me to go to Morocco the week we met? 323 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,125 Can you believe that? 324 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,794 And the second night we were there, 325 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,380 some random guy in a pickup 326 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,424 took us to a party in the desert. 327 00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:07,717 - Oh. - Oh, no. 328 00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:11,554 I was wearing this gorgeous, gorgeous scarf. 329 00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:14,640 It was maroon with a sort of fringe. 330 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,476 And we stole it from the market earlier on. 331 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,644 We did. 332 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,273 And, oh, we smoked hash... 333 00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:25,318 And we danced around a bonfire all night. 334 00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:28,571 Oh, man. It was magic. 335 00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:29,781 Mm. 336 00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:33,952 Come on. 337 00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:36,871 Come on. 338 00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:41,626 ♪ ♪ 339 00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:45,880 And... slow, quick, quick, slow. 340 00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:48,549 There you go. That's perfect. 341 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,134 - Oh, don't lie. - I'm a disaster. 342 00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,929 No, you're not, and listen. 343 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,640 Even if you mess up every single last step, 344 00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:57,099 it doesn't matter. 345 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,559 You know why? 346 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,394 Because you'll still be holding the person 347 00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:01,812 that you're running towards. 348 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,190 And that is just everything. 349 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,151 ♪ ♪ 350 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,653 - There you go. - Mm. 351 00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:13,282 Whoa! 352 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,576 Whoo! 353 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:37,181 Deck the halls with boughs of holly 354 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:40,309 Ta-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 355 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,312 'Tis the season to be jolly 356 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,438 Fa-la-la-la-la... 357 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,190 Ah, merry Christmas! 358 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,817 Merry Christmas! 359 00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:49,986 - Merry Christmas, honey. - Aww. 360 00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:52,697 Aww. 361 00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:54,323 Have you been smoking? 362 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:57,076 Uh, well, I found a stale pack 363 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,578 and I took a couple of puffs. 364 00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:00,037 No biggie. 365 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,956 What time did you go to bed? 366 00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:04,750 - Well... - Did you go to bed? 367 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,753 Uh, no, not yet, but, you know, I can nap later. 368 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,673 Ooh, what's wrong with your chest? 369 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:12,300 Ooh. 370 00:18:12,301 --> 00:18:13,510 I don't know. 371 00:18:14,887 --> 00:18:16,470 - Hey. - Ah. 372 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,389 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 373 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:21,100 Merry Christmas. 374 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,352 Wow. 375 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:27,356 I brought a gravy boat over from Sabrina's. 376 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,984 Whoa, what's wrong with your chest? 377 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,653 - Oh, I... allergies? - She was up all night smoking. 378 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,906 - I was not smoking all night. - Did you say smoking? 379 00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:36,115 - Like, cigarettes? - Oh, my goodness. 380 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,366 I made a little brunch. 381 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,827 I hope that's not too undermining. 382 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,120 Can we do presents? 383 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,789 'Cause my gift-giving game is tight this year. 384 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,375 Do you mind if we do it later because, 385 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,504 oh, I need to shower and tidy up 386 00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:52,048 and do some yoga and meditate 387 00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:53,841 and leave you two girls 388 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:56,969 to stir up a little yuletide voodoo. 389 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,971 Tonight's gonna be lit. See you in the p.m. 390 00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,936 La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 391 00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:09,482 What's Vietnamese for "cuckoo-bananas"? 392 00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:12,818 Where's the crudités? 393 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,571 Mmm, oh, it smells divine. 394 00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:18,157 I haven't had a roast in years. 395 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,701 Richard's gonna flip. What's left to do? 396 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,870 Sauté the green beans, baste the meat, 397 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,497 brown the gratin, heat the biscuits. 398 00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:26,916 - It's covered. - Oh. 399 00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:29,794 Well, it's marvelous. Oh, I'm so proud of my girls. 400 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:31,295 It was all Jules. 401 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,736 I just chopped stuff and judged her. 402 00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:35,049 She's a wizard at chopping and judging. 403 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:37,593 Years of practice. 404 00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:41,597 Dashing through the snow 405 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:44,517 In a one-horse open sleigh 406 00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:47,228 O'er the fields we go 407 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,230 Singing all the way 408 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:52,400 Bells on bobtail ring 409 00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:55,403 You know what? I am just gonna throw together a salad. 410 00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:57,446 - We have plenty of vegetables. - A small salad. 411 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:58,573 You know, just in case. 412 00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:00,825 In case of what, a salad crisis? 413 00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:03,870 Well, you know, in case somebody has some 414 00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:05,454 undetected food allergies. 415 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:07,874 I mean, what does Evie eat? 416 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:10,209 You see? 417 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,335 I'm gonna throw together 418 00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,045 a small salad just for Evie and me, 419 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:16,090 and then if she doesn't eat it, you know, small beans. 420 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,300 Oh, oh, oh. 421 00:20:17,301 --> 00:20:19,093 Cucumber and celery... 422 00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:21,137 And a radicchio! Oh-ho-ho! 423 00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:23,639 Now we're talking. 424 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,224 Did you ever nap, Mom? 425 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,602 - Oh, no, why? - Do I look tired? 426 00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:29,770 - No. - You look amazing, as usual. 427 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,731 - Aww. - Thank you. 428 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,277 Yay! 429 00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,573 all: Merry Christmas. 430 00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:42,617 Is it okay if I pop my squash in your oven for a sec? 431 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:43,993 - Sure, of course. - Hi. 432 00:20:43,994 --> 00:20:46,621 Evie, why don't you see if the girls need anything? 433 00:20:46,622 --> 00:20:48,706 S... uh... 434 00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,291 This is... I know. 435 00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,667 My heart's going nuts. 436 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,044 - Hey, guys! - Hi! 437 00:20:53,045 --> 00:20:54,504 Don't be nervous. 438 00:20:54,505 --> 00:20:56,005 Merry Christmas. 439 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,132 - I should go help. - Yeah. 440 00:20:58,133 --> 00:20:59,967 We'll talk later. 441 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,476 - Everything looks terrific. - It really does. 442 00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:09,810 The girls did it all themselves. 443 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,145 Oh! 444 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,939 Almost done. Load up those plates. 445 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:14,899 So how's the horse stuff going? 446 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,984 - What do you mean? - The varsity riding. Are you... 447 00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:18,778 It's... it's not called that. 448 00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,279 - Oh, my God, Jules. - That looks great! 449 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,074 - Oh, it smells amazing! - Jules, that looks so good. 450 00:21:23,075 --> 00:21:25,618 - Oh, the outside's overdone. - The inside's underdone. 451 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:28,037 I didn't let it sit at room temperature first, so... 452 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:29,872 - The entrée is... - I like my meat rare. 453 00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:31,374 We'll just pick around the raw bits. 454 00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,543 Always the least edible part of the meal. 455 00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:34,627 Well, it's a good thing 456 00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:36,045 I made a salad, then, right? 457 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,380 These biscuits look amazing. 458 00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:38,798 Heads up. There's chili flakes on those beans. 459 00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:40,967 Beautiful scarf, by the way. 460 00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,468 Uh, thank you. 461 00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:43,803 It looks like the one we stole 462 00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:46,597 from that vendor in Marrakech. 463 00:21:46,598 --> 00:21:49,016 It was... Wild times. 464 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,560 It was... remember when we both threw up 465 00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:51,561 on the ride to the desert? 466 00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:52,687 Oh, my God. 467 00:21:52,688 --> 00:21:54,438 This old guy gave us this hashish 468 00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,315 that was laced with... something. 469 00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,609 And we get there. 470 00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:01,070 Amy bolts for the bonfire, 471 00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:03,614 comes back later with no shoes, bleeding feet. 472 00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:05,157 - No, no, no, no. - You were with me. 473 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:06,659 - We were dancing. - No, no. 474 00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:09,120 I hung back with the Aussies. You're remembering it wrong. 475 00:22:09,121 --> 00:22:10,746 Why didn't you go dance with her? 476 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,039 Yeah, lame-ass. 477 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,125 - Evie! - A number of reasons, 478 00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:15,918 not speaking Arabic being one. 479 00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:17,336 Well, neither do I. 480 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:20,006 I don't really dance. 481 00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:22,842 Plus, the dude with the truck was so sketchy. 482 00:22:22,843 --> 00:22:24,468 I got paranoid that he was gonna leave us 483 00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:25,720 out there in the middle of nowhere. 484 00:22:25,721 --> 00:22:27,180 No, but we were happy. 485 00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:29,015 I was terrified and miserable. 486 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:31,392 I think I even cried on the ride home. 487 00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:32,894 Oh, cried? 488 00:22:32,895 --> 00:22:35,438 - He cries a lot. - I forgot that part. 489 00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:36,981 He doesn't like being out of control 490 00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:38,983 and he hates open spaces. 491 00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:40,776 - You're agoraphobic? - No. 492 00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:43,070 Isn't agoraphobia fear of crowds? 493 00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:45,239 That's enochlophobia. 494 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,242 Hmm. 495 00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:51,412 No one's eating my salad. 496 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,706 I just haven't got to it yet. 497 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:56,751 Making room. 498 00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:59,795 You know, I wasn't allowed to make anything. 499 00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:00,880 This is just... 500 00:23:00,881 --> 00:23:02,381 What's wrong with your chest? 501 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,008 - Calm down. - It's just food. 502 00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:07,220 - Don't tell me what to feel. - Just food? 503 00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:10,014 I mean, it's something that I made that nobody wants. 504 00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:13,100 I mean... It's Christmas. 505 00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:15,686 Oh, God. Who eats salad on Christmas anyway? 506 00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:17,146 That's so stupid. 507 00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:19,273 I guess that's what happens when your identity gets... 508 00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:21,275 Yanked away from you. 509 00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:22,985 Mom, what are you talking about? 510 00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:25,279 Well, you heard that therapist, 511 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,490 what she said about me being a garbage mother. 512 00:23:27,491 --> 00:23:29,200 - She didn't say that. - Oh, she didn't say that. 513 00:23:29,201 --> 00:23:31,911 - Oh... I'm hurting them. - That's what she said. 514 00:23:31,912 --> 00:23:34,288 - I'm hurting them. - I mean... 515 00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:37,208 Which, of course, is the last thing that I would wanna do. 516 00:23:37,209 --> 00:23:39,919 I mean, I have spent, oh, decades 517 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,796 trying to undo the damage that my mother did to me, 518 00:23:41,797 --> 00:23:45,383 and then this jackass tells me that I'm repeating it... 519 00:23:45,384 --> 00:23:47,719 you know, the abuse and the neglect. 520 00:23:48,929 --> 00:23:51,138 I mean, if anything, 521 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,392 honestly, it's the other way around. 522 00:23:54,977 --> 00:23:57,019 Um... 523 00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:59,814 maybe you should go lay down. 524 00:23:59,815 --> 00:24:02,401 It's "lie," not "lay." 525 00:24:03,902 --> 00:24:06,696 Do you know what I realized when Leigh got married 526 00:24:06,697 --> 00:24:09,490 and you moved in with those deadbeat college kids? 527 00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:12,785 That I have zero friends. No one. 528 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:15,204 I would rack my brains to think of somebody 529 00:24:15,205 --> 00:24:17,123 that I could call to, you know, 530 00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:20,668 start a book club or go to brunch. 531 00:24:20,669 --> 00:24:22,837 And I mean, for a while, 532 00:24:22,838 --> 00:24:25,882 I even thought that Sabrina and I could be pals. 533 00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,426 I mean, really, what a joke. 534 00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:32,096 I... consider you a friend, Amy. 535 00:24:35,058 --> 00:24:37,018 Sorry. 536 00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:38,644 Did you hear that, Richard? 537 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,146 Your wife considers the person 538 00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:41,814 with whom you are sleeping a friend, 539 00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:44,443 and that makes you a chicken... 540 00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:57,371 Really, Amy? Like this? 541 00:24:57,372 --> 00:24:58,789 God damn it. 542 00:24:58,790 --> 00:25:01,417 - What the hell? - I knew it. 543 00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:04,545 Soon as Donna said her name, you got antsy. 544 00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:06,839 I was trying to tell you, and you bulldozed me. 545 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,591 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Who's Donna? 546 00:25:08,592 --> 00:25:10,510 - No, no one. No one. - Our couples counselor. 547 00:25:10,511 --> 00:25:12,094 I was hinting that we were... Richard, enough. 548 00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:14,055 We will discuss this at home. 549 00:25:14,056 --> 00:25:16,682 I'm just an issue at everybody's therapy these days. 550 00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:18,684 I mean, don't you just love it the way 551 00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:20,436 they... they talk about me 552 00:25:20,437 --> 00:25:22,897 as if I am something that needs fixing 553 00:25:22,898 --> 00:25:24,815 and then they show up here like everything's dandy? 554 00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:27,777 - You invited us! - What is wrong with you? 555 00:25:27,778 --> 00:25:29,570 I'm tired! 556 00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:32,031 I am tired of being everyone's problem 557 00:25:32,032 --> 00:25:34,116 and I'm tired of feeling like a nuisance 558 00:25:34,117 --> 00:25:37,119 and I'm tired of not being listened to... 559 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,788 Well, just sit down! 560 00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:40,249 Just sit down! 561 00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:52,260 Is that what it takes? 562 00:25:52,261 --> 00:25:54,763 I've gotta behave like a raving lunatic just to be heard? 563 00:25:57,140 --> 00:25:59,560 When did I stop being a person? 564 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:06,399 You know, you spend so much time 565 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,776 trying to figure out the kind of parent that you wanna be, 566 00:26:08,777 --> 00:26:10,695 but the amount of time that you were 567 00:26:10,696 --> 00:26:12,363 actually essential to your kids, 568 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:15,616 it's, like... it's just a fraction of that. 569 00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:18,620 And the rest of the time, you're just wallpaper. 570 00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:23,833 You know, when you were little 571 00:26:23,834 --> 00:26:26,919 and you would crawl into my bed after a nightmare, 572 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,297 it's like... it's like... then you just... 573 00:26:29,298 --> 00:26:33,176 you feel really necessary. 574 00:26:33,177 --> 00:26:34,760 Right? Right? 575 00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:36,345 And then... well, then you turned ten, 576 00:26:36,346 --> 00:26:38,891 and it just stopped, and I was just.., 577 00:26:40,809 --> 00:26:44,061 I was just crushed, and... 578 00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:46,272 and then I thought, "No, no, you know, it's okay." 579 00:26:46,273 --> 00:26:49,275 This is, like, phase two. What is this gonna look like?" 580 00:26:49,276 --> 00:26:51,527 I just... 581 00:26:51,528 --> 00:26:53,988 I just... I just... 582 00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:57,284 I just never thought I'd start disappearing. 583 00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:01,537 And then... and then, you know, you moved back in 584 00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:04,290 and Jules got sober, 585 00:27:04,291 --> 00:27:06,250 and it was just... 586 00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:08,336 it was just like you were crawling back to me 587 00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:10,630 after the worst nightmare in the history of the universe, 588 00:27:10,631 --> 00:27:12,673 and I mean, 589 00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:14,842 I know that this is really ugly, 590 00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:17,011 but just for a second, 591 00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:19,263 I just... 592 00:27:19,264 --> 00:27:23,392 I just felt really whole again, you know? 593 00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,895 And it's just... 594 00:27:25,896 --> 00:27:28,189 and they don't tell you that in mom school. 595 00:27:28,190 --> 00:27:30,483 They don't tell you that you're just gonna 596 00:27:30,484 --> 00:27:33,110 give pieces of yourself to your children 597 00:27:33,111 --> 00:27:36,614 and then... and that those pieces are gonna live inside of them 598 00:27:36,615 --> 00:27:39,867 and you're never gonna get them back. 599 00:27:39,868 --> 00:27:41,702 Oh, God. 600 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:43,287 Ugh. 601 00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:44,580 And they also just don't tell you 602 00:27:44,581 --> 00:27:46,625 that you're gonna become invisible. 603 00:27:49,169 --> 00:27:50,878 And also just completely useless, 604 00:27:50,879 --> 00:27:52,380 because I mean, you know, 605 00:27:52,381 --> 00:27:53,756 how can you call yourself a fireman 606 00:27:53,757 --> 00:27:56,260 if there aren't any fires to put out? 607 00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:03,892 So who am I? 608 00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:09,272 When my children don't need me anymore, 609 00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:10,899 who am I? 610 00:28:18,782 --> 00:28:20,325 Well, I'll tell you. 611 00:28:22,244 --> 00:28:25,913 A blind idiot... 612 00:28:25,914 --> 00:28:28,000 and a coward's whore. 613 00:28:41,889 --> 00:28:44,182 Thank you for the meal. 614 00:28:44,183 --> 00:28:48,186 Probably best if you don't stay over tonight. 615 00:28:48,187 --> 00:28:50,104 Evie! 616 00:28:51,857 --> 00:28:53,316 I'm sorry. 617 00:28:53,317 --> 00:28:56,277 Just save your apology for the daughter who needs it. 618 00:29:20,177 --> 00:29:23,555 Come in. 619 00:29:24,348 --> 00:29:25,890 Were you able to sleep? 620 00:29:25,891 --> 00:29:28,809 Like a rock... a shame-filled rock 621 00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:32,647 who feels just awful about her behavior yesterday. 622 00:29:32,648 --> 00:29:34,650 I am so sorry. 623 00:29:38,779 --> 00:29:41,822 You didn't need to find out about me and Richard like that. 624 00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:44,158 How are Evie and Sabrina? 625 00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:45,952 Oh, don't tell me. I don't wanna know. 626 00:29:47,204 --> 00:29:49,539 I started an email, like, four or five times, 627 00:29:49,540 --> 00:29:52,375 and I just... I... I couldn't send it. 628 00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:54,418 I mean, 629 00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:56,629 maybe if you see them, you can apologize for... 630 00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:58,506 Oh, no. 631 00:29:58,507 --> 00:30:00,466 - You're leaving? - What are you doing? 632 00:30:00,467 --> 00:30:03,219 I... I've gotta fix some things. 633 00:30:03,220 --> 00:30:06,180 So I can't do it here, so I'm going. 634 00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:07,390 No, don't go. 635 00:30:07,391 --> 00:30:09,892 Dad and Sabrina, they will sort themselves out. 636 00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:13,312 It's not about them. 637 00:30:13,313 --> 00:30:15,565 I'm just curdling. 638 00:30:15,566 --> 00:30:19,068 And that's... that's not good for anybody. 639 00:30:19,069 --> 00:30:21,864 - Okay. - For how long? 640 00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:25,741 - I don't know. - To where? 641 00:30:25,742 --> 00:30:27,618 Alaska. 642 00:30:27,619 --> 00:30:30,955 I found an Airbnb near Talkeetna. 643 00:30:30,956 --> 00:30:33,082 It's a mountain town. 644 00:30:33,083 --> 00:30:35,960 Uh... 645 00:30:35,961 --> 00:30:38,045 Okay, why? 646 00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:39,380 Never been. 647 00:30:39,381 --> 00:30:41,174 And that's all you're packing? 648 00:30:41,175 --> 00:30:43,050 - Mm-hmm. - You hate the cold. 649 00:30:43,051 --> 00:30:44,969 And you have no snow pants or snow boots. 650 00:30:44,970 --> 00:30:48,389 You have a fashion puffer, and that's not even waterproof. 651 00:30:48,390 --> 00:30:51,976 Well, there are coats in Alaska. 652 00:30:51,977 --> 00:30:55,104 So, um... 653 00:30:55,105 --> 00:30:56,981 emergency documents. 654 00:30:56,982 --> 00:30:59,859 I texted Lacey so she's in the loop, 655 00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:03,613 and all our bills are set to autopay. 656 00:31:03,614 --> 00:31:06,115 The online reviews say that the... 657 00:31:06,116 --> 00:31:08,117 reception at the apartment is spotty 658 00:31:08,118 --> 00:31:11,370 but that the café across the street has Wi-Fi. 659 00:31:11,371 --> 00:31:14,081 So, um, what else? 660 00:31:14,082 --> 00:31:17,251 Uh... 661 00:31:17,252 --> 00:31:18,921 nothing. That's it. 662 00:31:20,797 --> 00:31:22,798 I gotta call my Lyft soon. 663 00:31:22,799 --> 00:31:24,675 Otherwise, I'm gonna lose my nerve. 664 00:31:24,676 --> 00:31:28,262 So tell me you can do this. Please tell me you can do this. 665 00:31:28,263 --> 00:31:31,849 - Yeah. - We'll be okay. 666 00:31:31,850 --> 00:31:35,061 You already are. 667 00:31:35,062 --> 00:31:38,272 Oh, here he is. 668 00:31:38,273 --> 00:31:41,400 Okay. I love you. 669 00:31:41,401 --> 00:31:43,486 - Love you too. - Love you. 670 00:31:43,487 --> 00:31:46,447 - Text us when you land. - I will. 671 00:31:46,448 --> 00:31:47,865 Okay. 672 00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:03,840 We still have four more sessions of therapy left. 673 00:32:03,841 --> 00:32:06,926 She's not gonna be able to go. 674 00:32:06,927 --> 00:32:09,512 Maybe she'll make him turn around. 675 00:32:09,513 --> 00:32:11,806 I bet she's back by tomorrow night. 676 00:32:11,807 --> 00:32:13,808 Yeah. 677 00:32:28,323 --> 00:32:32,034 Matthew's school is throwing him an event to honor him. 678 00:32:32,035 --> 00:32:34,412 It's nice that they're doing something to remember him. 679 00:32:34,413 --> 00:32:36,455 Yeah, but they didn't know Matt. 680 00:32:36,456 --> 00:32:39,125 I don't think he felt like he meant much to this place. 681 00:32:39,126 --> 00:32:41,586 He was always talking about how crazy this school made him. 682 00:32:41,587 --> 00:32:43,212 - Danny. - Dare to care, man. 683 00:32:43,213 --> 00:32:46,090 I spent more time grading this than you spent writing it. 684 00:32:46,091 --> 00:32:50,678 Anyone have thoughts or memories? 685 00:32:50,679 --> 00:32:51,846 I think you're really good with kids. 686 00:32:51,847 --> 00:32:53,764 I don't know how to be a dad. 687 00:32:53,765 --> 00:32:56,642 I'm just wondering if it will ever be a possibility. 688 00:32:56,643 --> 00:32:59,937 Guys, Mr. Greer's wife is here with us today. 689 00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:01,690 Would you like to say a few words?