This programme contains very strong language from the start
and discriminatory language which some may find offensive.
Argh! You fucking...
BABY CRYING OUTSIDE
Jesus! Why didn't you knock?
Why didn't you lock?
Are you shaving your balls in our bathroom?
That's none of your business. Get out!
BABY CRYING
BABY SILENT
Finally.
ENGINE REVS
SHRIEKING AND LAUGHTER
What the fuck is that?
CLATTERING
Can trailing.
CONOR: Can trailing is a thing that we got from Cork city about a year ago,
which involves dickheads from other neighbourhoods trailing
open paint cans - sort of like the way dogs piss
to mark their territory.
Just a bit more colourful.
What the fuck are you doing?!
What the fuck do you think we're doing? We're having a laugh.
My baby is sleeping.
BABY CRIES
You'll never guess what I just saw! I saw...
BABY SILENT
Can trailers!
What are you doing that for anyway? None of your fucking business.
You're messing up our estate.
We're brightening the place up.
It's a fucking shithole here anyway.
Don't call our estate a shithole.
Don't tell my girlfriend what to fucking do.
BABY CRIES
Apologise for making my baby cry.
You apologise for shouting at my fucking girlfriend.
What the hell is going on out here? Can trailers.
Would you ever fuck off out of it? Says who? Fuck you!
Listen, you...
ALL ARGUE
Boys, boys!
All right, just stop with all the fighting, all right?
Right. We'll have a proper fight end of the month in the boxing club.
Yeah, grand. Just name a time and place.
I said the fucking end of the month in the boxing club, didn't I?
Sorry, I wasn't listening. I'll see you then, so. Yeah, you will.
Jock, I don't want you fighting. Why? Is he shit at fighting?
Cos he looks like he'd be shit. Is anyone talking to you?
Don't you know JP's a proper boxer?
He won the Ireland Under-18s last year.
I can't back out now, can I? Not with everyone here.
But there's no-one here. But he woke up Star and that's unacceptable.
Star's nine months old. She's not going to care!
CONOR: Siobhan pretty much never agrees with anything Jock does.
And there's nothing that dickhead's girlfriend could ever say
to change that. Except maybe...
Your baby's name is Star?
That's ridiculous.
What's her brother called? The fucking Milky Way?
Just for that, my boyfriend's
going to beat the shit out of your boyfriend!
Oh, really? Isn't that right, Jock?
Yeah. Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, it is, actually.
Yeah. I'm going to fucking barrel you.
Stop right there! I'm a guard. You're under arrest.
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
I'm going to catch you, you little prick!
Hey! Hey!
Get back here!
Hey! I've got you now!
Oh, for...
Bollocks!
LAUGHTER
Hey, Healy, I've got more hair on my dick than you!
LAUGHTER
You sure you're going to go through with this? I have to. All right?
I'm not going to be made to look like a coward in front of my daughter.
Star's not going to remember. You know what this place is like.
Sure, they'll be talking about this for years and years.
The day Jock O'Keeffe backed out of a fight. Exactly.
She can't ever think I was a chicken.
All right, but what can I do to help?
Do you want to be my trainer?
HE MUTTERS
Why, I'd love that.
What... What does a trainer do?
Well, you know how you always tell me how great I am and everything?
Yeah. You just have to do that, but like ten times more.
That's what a trainer does.
Always tells you how great you are and everything.
You ARE great at everything.
So this'll be the easiest job I'll ever have.
Thanks, boy.
CONOR: When you're training someone in the sport where people have died doing it,
it comes with a little added responsibility.
So I'll have to be super strict with Jock.
You're going to have to help me give up the fags.
After this one, after this one.
And every idiot on the street knows that winning
a boxing fight is all about food.
Now, lads, tuck in.
I can't eat this.
Jock's on a very high-protein diet at the moment.
Chicken burgers, Super Noodles, Toblerone. For the fight.
What fight? He's fighting the Under-18s Ireland champion.
He's very good.
Do you think that's wise, Jock?
I've been training really hard for it. And we've been watching Rocky.
And Rocky II, III, IV and V. And When Harry Met Sally.
Is there boxing in When Harry Met Sally?
No, but we ran out of Rocky films and still wanted to watch something.
Good for you, Jock. I can't wait to see you fight.
What? Good luck to him. It's great news.
He is the father of your grandchild, Barry.
What happens if he gets brain-damaged?
Would anyone even notice? Oh, no offence, Jock.
You've a guilty face on you, Barry.
For God's sake! OK, I put money on the fight.
What do you mean, you put money?
Somebody's running a book on it. I had a little flutter.
How much money?
50 euros. Jesus Christ!
On Jock? Of course not on Jock.
Nobody's betting on Jock.
I bet on JP to win by a knockout in round three.
Well, everybody else is betting on him to go out in round one.
There's even people betting you'll die.
Oh, my God. Now, that's sick. I was totally disgusted by that.
Anyway, why am I the bad guy here?
It wasn't me that started the book. It was Jock's best friends.
Don't look at me. Well, not him. Nancy Madigan's son.
Gavin Madigan?
BOTH: Gavin Madigan!
Gavin Madigan. That's the one.
CONOR: The MacSweeney family and the Madigan family
haven't always seen eye to eye.
Mainly on account of them being fucking pricks.
You're not going to shake my hand, Jock? Why should I shake your hand?
You're the reason I got expelled from school.
But I've learned to forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones.
All right, then. Fuck the both of ye.
I hope JP smashes your bollocks in.
Looks tasty, huh?
I'm his trainer, so most of his success is down to me.
Conor...
How...? How does he punch that hard?
Boy, he's going to hammer the shit out of you.
What the fuck?! You're supposed to be on my side. Sorry. He's not...
He's not... He's not going to hammer the shit out of you.
No. He's definitely going to hammer the shit out of you. No doubt.
Who asked your opinion? Well, JP's been boxing for years.
He's only been boxing a few days.
He's been boxing weeks, not days.
Still... It's common sense.
Shove your common sense up your hole.
You can't be running a book when you're a trainer anyway.
That's illegal. Probably.
Do you want to call the guards? They're only over there.
I've got two euros on him putting you in your hole.
Ha-ha.
Easy, boy, easy.
You've got him all riled up now. He's angry, he's angry.
Come on, boy. Come on.
Who cares if the whole town is betting against you?
Who cares if JP's the best fighter in the country, all right?
I still believe in you.
But what if I don't believe in me any more?
All right, look at it this way.
Do you believe that the world is round?
Do I believe the world is round?
Yeah. Do you believe the world is round? Yeah.
Why? So, why do you believe that the world is round?
Well, because that's what everyone believes. Exactly. What?
Just because everybody believes something doesn't mean that it's right.
OK? For years, everybody thought that the world was flat.
And then they said that the world was round.
And now scientists are back thinking that the world is flat again.
Are they? Yeah.
I think... I think so.
So, what you're saying is m...maybe the way people were wrong
about the world being round...
..maybe people are wrong about me and JP?
Exactly.
Like, at one point, Principal Walsh thought you were a loser
with no hope of holding down a job or finding a girlfriend.
Look at you now, boy!
You're a fishmonger who's impregnated his daughter.
That's right.
But people have always underestimated me
and I've always proved them wrong. Yeah.
Boy, I'm bigger than JP, I'm stronger than JP.
It's like a gorilla fighting a badger.
Even if the badger's been fighting for years
and has far more experience, it's still just a little badger.
And the gorilla is still a gorilla. Yeah. And you're the gorilla.
You're fucking right I'm a gorilla!
Boy... Boy, that could be my fight name.
Jock "the Gorilla" O'Keeffe!
BOTH HOOT LIKE GORILLAS
KNOCK AT WINDOW
What do you want? I'm here to help you win.
LAUGHTER ON VIDEO
It's not what it looks like. Is that right?
Because what it looks like to me
is that you are running around naked with a bunch of children.
I've busted my hole trying to fix the reputation of this station,
and you've destroyed it with one flash of your bald mickey.
God only knows why it's bald.
It's just when I cycle, my pubes get...
I don't want to know!
Why were you naked?
I was having a shower, OK,
and I heard Mairead call me from outside about a disturbance.
Are you telling me you broke all police protocol
because your girlfriend needed help with something?
What next, huh? Use a patrol car to bring her an Indian takeaway?
She prefers Chinese food... Shut up!
I'm telling you now, boy,
the next time I catch you using your badge
to help your girlfriend out of a jam,
I'll take you off bike patrol...
..permanently.
CONOR: The way I see it, if you're going to train for a sport
which involves hitting someone a lot of times in the head,
the best person to practise on
is someone whose head is pretty much designed for hitting.
Your mam could throw a better punch than that, the stupid whore she is!
Whoa, Billy! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the fuck? I can't believe what I'm hearing, boy.
Did you just call our mam a whore?
I didn't really call your mam a whore.
You know me, I wouldn't say a bad word about Mairead.
That's just trash talking.
What do you mean, trash talking?
It's what they do in boxing.
You know, you say a load of shit about the other fella,
try to get into his head, you know, or under his skin,
and then, bam!
You know?
So, you try a bit of trash talking.
Come on! All right!
Your mam's a whore.
You're going to have to do better than that!
Tell him you saw his mama with all kinds of lads.
Yeah. Yeah, I saw your mama with all kinds of lads.
She was wanking them off and sucking their balls and everything.
That doesn't really bother me -
you know, what my mam does in her spare time, that's her own business.
All right.
Your mam never loved you when you were younger.
That's why she never looked after you properly when you were little.
Take that back what you said about my mam, you heartless bastard.
Agh! I'm sorry, Billy!
I was just trashing...
I'm sorry, Billy! Billy, Billy!
What are you doing?! I was just trash talking, like you told me to!
Get off him, Billy!
The fuck?!
Fighting is not the way to fix your problems.
You have been around violence all your life, Jock.
When have you ever seen it solve anything?
We have to get back at JP. And I need him to get back at JP
so I can get back at Gavin Madigan.
And I need him to get back at JP so I can get back at Bobby Gilligan.
Who?
Who's Bobby...?
Why the fuck do you think I'm here?
He's this nutjob who's supporting JP, and I hate him.
Ugh. This is all getting out of hand.
I'm going to the Gardai.
If JP is under arrest for vandalism, then you won't be able to fight him.
No! I have to fight him.
What about my pride?
I don't give a fuck about your pride, Jock.
I just don't want you to get the shit kicked out of you.
When it comes to our principles, Mam is like a rock.
Nothing in any person says or does would ever change her mind -
unless, of course, that person is...
Nancy Madigan.
Mairead MacSweeney, the psychopath who punched me in the head.
How lovely to see you.
You're not teaching any more?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You got fired for trying to get my son expelled from school.
I'm just here to see Tony, actually.
It's about the can trailing, Tony.
Can you arrest those two kids?
Sorry, Mairead.
I've been warned by the superintendent not to get involved.
Nancy will help you out.
By the way, JP's going to hammer the shit out of Jock.
Anyway...
Mairead MacSweeney, petty crime.
You say there's a lot of vandalism in your area?
Sure, you know how these things go, like.
Sometimes these little complaints, they get brushed aside, don't they?
Nice stab vest.
Afraid you're going to be stabbed?
Mairead.
You're either on my side, or you're not.
There's no in between.
Just make up your fucking mind.
Sergeant Healy?
Remember our little chat?
You have to beat the shit out of JP
so I can shove it up Nancy Madigan's hole.
I know.
Forget Rocky - watch Muhammad Ali.
Never has a slave got up and said, "I am the greatest! I'm beautiful!"
I'm the greatest in the world!
See me, boy?
I'm the greatest in the world! Yeah.
Do that, but make it rhyme, like he does.
Right. Er... I'm the best boxer in Cork,
I'mma eat you up with a knife and fork.
OK. Right, I've got one.
I go by the name of Jock O'Keeffe,
I'll twirl you around like an autumn leaf.
Twirl you round like an autumn leaf?
Yeah.
That sounds like I'm dancing with him.
No, but you're going to make him twirl,
cos every time you hit him, he's going to twirl.
He'll be like...
Oh, right, OK.
"Argh!"
I see! Dancing is not going to help you.
Er, we're not dancing.
I'm helping him come up with new rhymes.
Rhyming's not going to help you, either.
Well, it worked for Muhammad Ali.
Do you watch the rope-a-dope?
I thought you said rhyming won't help?
Oh, for God's sake - just watch this.
BOXING ON VIDEO
He stays on the ropes and lets Foreman exhaust himself...
..and...bang!
Back to grill inventing for you, George Foreman!
Come on, boy! You've got it!
Stop coughing!
We don't want to hear that coughing!
Go on! Get up there! This hill is fucking tiny!
This hill is tiny! It's not tiny!
First time, come on.
Come on!
Free your mind.
Why are they so much better?
They're not better, you're just not quite there yet. Come on.
Abstain from sex? Yeah.
Does that mean no riding?
Well, not until the fight's over.
Fine - but you've got to break it to Siobhan.
Aye.
I'll do it with you.
What, you want to ride me?
No - like, I'll abstain with you.
I don't understand.
It's for conserving energy.
Sure, you never use any energy when we're riding.
Siobhan! It's true, like.
I mean, I'm the one who does all the hard work.
Hey, do you want me to win this fight or not?
"Do you want me to win this fight or not?"
Why are you abstaining, too?
Er, it's moral support, like.
It's important.
Fine - but the minute this is all over, we're back to regular riding.
Twice as much, to make up for lost time.
All right.
Agh!
Gah!
Your feet, your feet... Always keep them moving.
Argh! Shit, shit! Fuck!
Agh! It's cos you're so much taller, your balls is the perfect target.
I feel good. You look good.
I am good. You're the best.
I am the best!
See this? I'm the greatest in the world!
What are you? I'm the greatest in the world!
What are you? I'm the greatest in Cork!
You might be good, but you're not Jock O'Keeffe!
You're not Jock O'Keeffe!
I'm the greatest in the world!
Yes! Argh!
ARGH!
I'm the greatest in the world!
The greatest in the world. The greatest in the world.
You'd better believe it.
I think I just figured out
where the expression "I'm shitting myself" came from.
PFFRRT
TOILET FLUSHES
Well, you should definitely do this for a living.
It says here some boxers make up to 40 million just for one fight.
So, even if you do end up in a coma,
you can just get the best medical care in the world for that!
40 million!
All right, lads.
It's not too late to call it off, you know.
No fucking way. I'm going to kill you.
Oh, you're going to kill me, are you?
Yeah, fucking right I am.
Ha. I'm going to kill you.
Yeah, he's going to kill you.
And then I'm going to go around to your mam's house
and I'm going to kill your mam.
Yeah. He's going to kill your mam.
And then I'm going to find your baby and I'm going to eat your baby.
Yeah. He's going to eat your baby, like...an afternoon snack.
Like a cheese sangwidge.
I'm going to eat YOUR baby.
Yeah, he's going to eat your baby.
I don't have a baby.
He doesn't have a baby.
Then I'll eat your dog. Yeah, he's going to eat your dog.
I don't have a dog.
He doesn't have a dog.
Then I'm going to eat your...
..your dick! Yeah, he's going to eat your...your dick!
My dick?
His dick? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm going to eat your dick!
Then I'm going to go around your house and eat your dad's dick,
then I'm going to eat your brother's dick!
So you're just going to go round to his house
and eat all of his family's dicks?
Yeah. Jock's the best dick-eater in all of Ireland.
Lads, you're weirdos. Come on, JP.
I'll see you later.
Nice haircut.
Pair of pricks.
Oh, boy, I don't think I can do this.
Wait, just fucking...
Of course you can! You're The Gorilla!
Yeah, The Gorilla.
The Gorilla.
THEY SCREECH LIKE MONKEYS
All right, all right!
Did you get me a good song to walk out to? Yeah, boy, I did.
MUSIC: X Gon' Give It To Ya by DMX
You ready to go? Ready to go?
Hey!
I'm just going to the toilet again, OK?
Aye. Get it all out.
Jesus, it's busy enough here.
Good luck, Mairead.
Good luck to you, too, Nancy.
Wagon.
What are you looking at?
You're the one looking at me.
Are you looking forward to being a single mother after tonight?
Technically, I'm already a single mother
cos me and Jock aren't married, so fuck you!
Siobhan.
Sorry, Mum.
She gets on my tits, that Nancy Madigan.
I hope Jock tears JP's bollocks off and shoves it down his throat.
Jesus, Mairead.
It's all a bit petty, isn't it?
It's just a couple of lads fighting,
and everybody's taking sides like it's a civil war.
You should know better, Mairead. You're setting a bad example.
Barry Walsh!
Oh! Derek! How are you?
I never would've taken you for a boxing fan.
Oh, wonderful sport.
That's Derek Doherty, principal of St Abrams school.
Barry hates him.
I'm actually here to see JP McCarthy.
He's one of ours.
A credit to the school.
We're all very proud of him.
Is Jock O'Keefe one of yours?
No. Well, he used to be, until I expelled him.
What are you here for, so?
He's the father of my daughter's child.
This is my wife, Orla.
Pleased to meet you.
Likewise.
And this is my daughter.
I suppose her name is Linda.
No.
That's Bobby Gilligan, the bastard.
He used to be my prodigy. I taught him everything he knows.
Now he thinks he's better than me.
And you're going to get fucked up, too, Bobby!
Yeah? Yeah!
Ah, sit down, Billy. Yeah. Listen to your girlfriend, Billy.
She's not my girlfriend.
She could do way better than me!
COMPERE: Ladies and gentlemen, feens and beours,
please welcome under-18 Ireland champion JP "Killer" McCarthy!
CROWD CHEERS
MUSIC: X Gon' Give It To Ya by DMX
Whoo! Mwah!
Whoo!
Come on, JP!
Wanker!
Boy, I can't walk out to the same song,
get him to change it, get him to change it! Aye, aye.
Whoo!
Here, change the song!
Change the song.
Whoo! And now, please welcome his challenger,
Jock "The Gorilla" O'Keeffe!
CHEERING AND BOOING
IRISH FOLK MUSIC
LAUGHTER AND JEERS
Go on! Go on, kid!
Turn off the music.
All right...
Give him a fucking...!
WHISTLING
Hey, Jock!
Go on, Jock! Whoo!
Come on, Jock!
Go on, Jock!
Whoo!
This is it, boy. This is it. Go on, Jock!
Just remember what we learned, all right?
Light on the feet, light on the feet.
Look at him, he's fucking scared. He's scared.
Seconds out. Round one.
BELL DINGS
MUSIC: Habanera by Georges Bizet
Go on, Jock! Go on, Jock! Come on, Jock!
Stop swinging your fucking arms, stop it! Go on!
Tuck it in!
Fuck, he's trying too hard.
Come on, JP!
I can't fucking get him!
He keeps moving!
You move, too, then! I am!
Chin up, Jock!
Face him, face him!
Go on, Jock! Go on!
Agh! Shit!
Fuck.
You're just winded, come on!
Whoo!
Get up! Come on, Jock! Get up! Come on, Jock!
Fuck that bastard up! Gouge his eyeballs out!
Punch his dick off his fucking body!
Come on!
That's my other daughter.
BELL DINGS
Come on!
Whoo! He's totally messing with Jock's head.
We're going to have to do something to support him.
Yeah, I'm going to have to do something
about all this pent up aggression.
Don't let the crowd get to you.
What would Muhammad Ali do?
I'm not fucking Muhammad Ali!
I'm not even George Foreman.
No, fuck this - I'm giving up.
You can't give up now.
Remember your strategy.
And stop waving your fucking arms around!
Rope-a-dope. Tire him out.
Give me that fucking thing.
All right, lads, let's have a big cheer
for Jock "The Gorilla" O'Keeffe!
Come on, Jock!
CHEERING AND BOOING
Trash talk. Trash... Remember trash talking?
Trash talk... His weakest muscle is his brain. Yeah.
Seconds out. Round two.
BELL DINGS
Come on, now, Jock!
Your mam's a whore!
What? I said your mam's a whore!
I don't think this trash talk's working.
He wouldn't be the first ex-pupil of yours to fall flat on his face.
CONOR: Barry Walsh may not be the most supportive
when it comes to the father of his grandchild,
but when it comes to things he actually gives a shit about,
like his school, well, that's a different story.
Come on, Jock!
You can do it, lad. Get up!
Come on, Jock! Come on!
Get back in. Get back in. ..three...four...
That's it, that's it.
Get up, Jock!
Get up, son! You can do it!
Come on!
Shut up, you, you speccy old bastard!
I'm surprised you can even see the fight.
You're lucky you're not a pupil of mine, young lady.
And you're lucky I don't smash your glasses, you four-eyed fucker.
Sit down, Barry.
You're making a spectacle of yourself!
Shut your hole, you pathetic gowl!
Jock The Gorilla! Jock The Gorilla!
ALL CHANT: Jock The Gorilla! Jock The Gorilla! Jock The Gorilla!
Did I miss much?
Jock The Gorilla! Jock The Gorilla! Fuck my superintendent.
Jock The Gorilla! Jock The Gorilla!
Jock The Gorilla!
Jock The Gorilla! Jock The Gorilla!
Oh, Jesus!
Give it to him!
That's it, that's it!
Oh, shit. No!
ALL: Ooh!
Yes, go on! Whoo!
REFEREE: One...two...
..three...four...
..five...six... Come on, Jock! Get up!
..seven... Do it for Star!
..eight... Come on, you can do it!
Please! ..nine...
Come on, Jock. He's fine, he's fine! He's fine.
MUSIC: X Gon' Give It To Ya by DMX
YEAH!
Sorry, Derek. I didn't mean that.
I'm going to kill you!
Oh, it's all kicking off here!
You, you fucking...!
Fucking brilliant!
CONOR: You can say what you want about boxing,
but it really goes help to bring the community together.
It was below the belt!
It was a fucking low blow.
JP! Help!
JP!
Box! JP!
One...two...
..three...four...
..five...six...
..seven...eight...
..nine...ten.
BELL DINGS
ALL CHEER
You did it!
You did it, Jock!
I love you, Star!
I fucking love you!
The winner of that contest by way of knockout,
in the red corner, Jock "The Gorilla" O'Keeffe.
Your dad's not a coward, Star!
Well, didn't you do well?
I never saw that side of you before.
Well, nobody speaks to my Barry like that and gets away with it.
Ooh, go, Orla!
We should get into fights more often!
Control yourself, Barry.
CONOR: Some people say winning is its own reward...
THEY CHEER
Good man, Jock. Well done!
..but that's not always true...
Huh?
Where did you get that?!
I bet a fiver that you'd win by knockout!
Are you serious?
And you fucking did!
..and the way I see it,
sometimes it's OK to play dirty,
if you've been punched in the knob.