1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:08,560 This programme contains strong language 2 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,320 Aw, for fuck's sake! 3 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,800 WATER GUSHES 4 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,920 SHE YELLS 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,960 God! Argh. 6 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,000 Fuck. 7 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,200 SHE GROANS 8 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,000 What are you doing on the floor? 9 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,400 Ah, watch! 10 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,160 Shit! 11 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,600 Fuck it! 12 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,240 You all right? 13 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,960 Me da drove us halfway round the country to buy that shitty 14 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,000 old fridge, which he found on DoneDeal for 18 euros. 15 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,000 He was so proud of it. You couldn't help but think of him 16 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,680 every time you went to make a sandwich. 17 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,280 God, I went right on my hole. 18 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,880 Little did he know it would outlive him. 19 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,320 Mam said buying a brand-new one 20 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,480 would be like shitting on Da's grave, 21 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,760 so we're off to relive the journey he took us on, 22 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,240 in search of another old bargain fridge instead. 23 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,880 Aw, fuck me. 24 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,640 What happened your eye? 25 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,440 I got in a fight outside Centra last night. 26 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,360 He got one in, I got two. Boom, boom, boom! 27 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,520 And you think he's cool? 28 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,000 Where you going? Picking up a fridge in Skibbereen. 29 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,880 C-Can I go with you? 30 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,040 No. Come on, Conor, we're going. 31 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,840 We were meant to be hanging out for the day. 32 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,640 What difference does it make if he comes? 33 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,800 I want it to be a family road trip, like last time. 34 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,400 Jock pretty much is family. 35 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,320 Not my family. 36 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,480 Please? 37 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,840 Come on, then! 38 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,240 Happy? Yeah! 39 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,600 Oh... Can I go in the front? No, Conor's in the front. 40 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,920 Oh, come on. This car's fuckin' tiny. I'll get leg cramps 41 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,760 if I go in the back. 42 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,400 I don't mind! I'm happy in the back! 43 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,960 Mam, put your seat forward a bit, will you? 44 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,800 Now, I'll be the navigator so you can just concentrate on the driving, 45 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,280 have a nice easy journey, maybe put on the radio or something, 46 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,560 kick back. Gimme the map. 47 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,880 Would you relax? I've got a built-in compass. 48 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,200 Now, eat some Weetabix, 49 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,440 north, south, now eat some Weetabix... 50 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,640 West? Come on, quit dilly-dallying. 51 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,680 Mam has never really warmed to Jock. 52 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,160 I think it's because she hasn't had a chance to really get to know him. 53 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,120 Now that they're both stuck in a small, confined space, 54 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,760 it's the perfect opportunity. 55 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,840 What are you doing scribbling on the map? 56 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,840 Oh, they're lyrics. I'm writing a song. 57 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,200 Do ya wanna hear it? 58 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,240 No, thanks. 59 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,520 All right, all right, I'll sing it, but it's not finished yet 60 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,120 so don't be too critical. I said... Mm-mm-mm. 61 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,560 Eh, give us a note, there, Conor, will ya? 62 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,960 Right, eh, baritone? 63 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,000 Eh, yeah. 64 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,600 Ah... 65 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,360 BOTH SINGING A LOW NOTE 66 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,600 A one, a two, a one, two, three. 67 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,640 # We're driving in the car with Ma Ma Mairead 68 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,640 # We're going really far me and Ma Ma Mairead 69 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,560 # There's no one who's as kind as Ma Ma Mairead 70 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,480 # We're having a great time me and Ma Ma Mairead 71 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,000 # Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma 72 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,800 # Mairead ah Wow wow wow 73 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,640 Come on and sing it! 74 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,840 # Ma Ma Mairead, Ma Ma Mairead... # 75 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,120 That's enough now. 76 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,400 # Says Ma Ma Mairead Ma Ma Mairead... # 77 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,520 Fuck's sake. 78 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,080 Come on, give it a go. 79 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,240 Mam finds it difficult to enjoy herself. 80 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,480 It's not something that comes natural to her. 81 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,640 # Ma Ma Mairead Ma Ma Mairead 82 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,160 # Ma Ma Mairead Ma Ma Mairead... # 83 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,200 That's lovely! 84 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,080 # Ma Ma Mairead Ma Ma Mairead 85 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,960 # Ma Ma Mairead Ma Ma Mairead 86 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,920 # We're driving in the car with Ma Ma Mairead 87 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,640 # We're going really far with Ma Ma Mairead 88 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,640 # Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma... # 89 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,080 Watch out! 90 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,400 BANG 91 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,520 WHat you scream for?! 92 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,760 There was a giant pothole. 93 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,480 I was going to miss it but your screaming drove me straight into it. 94 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,920 I made you drive into it? 95 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,840 Well, what did I do, grab the steering wheel or someting? 96 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:28,280 I think you'll find in a court of law, the person in control of 97 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,280 the vehicle is to blame. 98 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,720 He has a point. 99 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,800 We're not in a court of law, and it was your fault. 100 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,640 If we weren't singing that stupid song, 101 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,320 we both would have been paying attention to the road. 102 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,560 I thought we were having a good time. 103 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,560 Fuck's sake. 104 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,120 Wasn't even fully bald. 105 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,280 Let's get this changed. 106 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,120 Conor, give me a hand with the spare. 107 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,120 Where's the jack? 108 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,040 Jock, check the front for the jack. 109 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,360 It's not there. Are you sure? 110 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,960 Yeah, it's not fucking there. 111 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,520 Will we try and drive to a petrol station with the flat? 112 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,640 ENGINE REVS 113 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,120 Bollocks! 114 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,240 98% coverage, me hole. 115 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,080 How far are we from Skibbereen? 116 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,120 Not far. We just passed through Bedfordshire a few miles back. 117 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,160 Bedfordshire? 118 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,440 You're on the England page, you fuckin' tool! 119 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,960 We're miles away from anywhere. 120 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,520 You carry a lot of stress around with you, you know that? 121 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,880 I'm starting to feel stressed just being near ya, 122 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,000 I can't imagine what it's like inside your head. 123 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,880 Do you know the reason for that stress? 124 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,000 Is it your period? 125 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,040 Do you want another black eye? 126 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,600 Mam! 127 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,600 Conor, please tell me yer not trying to lift the fucking car. 128 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,920 No, I'm checkin' de weight. 129 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,920 I have a plan. 130 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,360 In fairness to yer son, he can have moments of genius. 131 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,400 This had got to be the most retarded thing I've seen in me entire life. 132 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,840 You say dat about everythin' we do. 133 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,080 That's cos ya keep breakin' yer own record. 134 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,400 How's that? It's not going to work. 135 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,400 The car's about half a tonne, and you weigh about eight stone. 136 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,240 How many stones in half a tonne? 137 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,600 I don't know but not eight. 138 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,240 Jock, get up here, will ya? 139 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,760 It's workin'! 140 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,640 Put that block under to stop it going down. 141 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:53,760 It's not high enough. 142 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,400 We need somethin' heavy. 143 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,880 I'm not heavy! 144 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,280 You're heavier than Conor. He's only a small little fella. 145 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,400 Swap and he can shove the block under the car. 146 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,960 Do ya want this fridge or not? 147 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,760 Dis is kind of fun, isn't it? 148 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,280 Give me more room. I'm already on de edge. 149 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,320 Here, you can hold on to me for balance. 150 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,360 You need to bounce a little. On three. 151 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,960 One, two, three... Bounce. 152 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,840 One, two, three... Bounce. 153 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,480 One, two, three... Bounce. 154 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,600 Nearly there. One, two... 155 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,720 Your rhythm is all off, I'll lead. 156 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,080 My rhythm is perfect. 157 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,200 One, two, three... Bounce. 158 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,280 One, two, three... Bounce. 159 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,040 One, two, three... Bounce. 160 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,080 That's it, we did it! 161 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:28,160 Fair play to ya, I did not think that would work. 162 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,640 THEY SCREAM 163 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,400 ELECTRICITY CRACKLES 164 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,920 Are you OK? 165 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,960 THEY SCREAM 166 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,960 What? 167 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,480 It's electric! 168 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,840 Get something rubber and help. 169 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,600 What the fuck is this? It's a rubber. 170 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,360 I know what it is. Why do you have one? 171 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,200 Use your fucking trainers. 172 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,320 HE SCREAMS 173 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,240 What the fuck is this? Where'd you get that? 174 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,160 MOBILE DINGS 175 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:49,880 Who's that? 176 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,600 Just a girl from school. 177 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,000 A girl FRIEND? 178 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,160 Never going to happen. 179 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,080 Shut up, Jock. She's been tryin' to get with him for the past month 180 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,800 but yer son is frigid. 181 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,200 I'm not frigid, I'm shy! 182 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,160 What's the fuckin' difference? Girls don't like frigid guys. 183 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,440 Isn't that right, Mairead? 184 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,040 They don't like randy little pricks like you, either! 185 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,400 You say randy like it's a bad ting. 186 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,840 So is Sergeant Healy not randy? 187 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,200 How the fuck should I know? 188 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,920 If you were to guess though, out of 10, how randy would ya say he is? 189 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,400 Shut up. 190 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,120 I'd say I'm about a nine on de randy scale. 191 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,000 You're probably about a one. 192 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,160 How randy are you, Mairead? 193 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,160 Stop asking Mam how randy she is! 194 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,400 I'm just curious if being frigid runs in the family. 195 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,600 I'm not fucking frigid and neither is Mam. 196 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,600 Do you like this girl? 197 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,120 What's her name? 198 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,320 Linda. 199 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:06,000 She's smart, pretty... 200 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,920 You've got lovely eyes. 201 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,200 ..funny. 202 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,920 Boop! Oh, you think I'm cute? Yeah. 203 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,240 I love you. 204 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,160 Can't fault her, to be honest. 205 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,000 She's a bit goofy. 206 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,400 No, she isn't, just cos she's not putting on a show de whole 207 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,640 time like most girls. 208 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,600 There's no bullshit with her. 209 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,520 D'ya still have that condom? 210 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,600 Yeah, here. I don't want it! 211 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:50,680 Stick it in yer wallet. 212 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,080 When the time comes - and I don't want to know when that is - 213 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,840 you make sure ya use it, all right? 214 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,040 I find dem very restrictive. 215 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,920 When ya get to prison you might change yer mind. 216 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,840 Me and Jock were never on a farm before 217 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,560 but there's a fellow in our class at school who lives on one 218 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:24,960 and he always smells of shit. 219 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,680 He says he can't get it off. It's part of being a farmer. 220 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,160 Well, there it is. 20 euros and you can take it away. 221 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,080 Is it workin' all right? 222 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,960 Plug it in and see for yourself. 223 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,160 FRIDGE RATTLES TO LIFE 224 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,120 DUCK QUACKS 225 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,800 Get out, you dirty bastard. 226 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,280 Come out! 227 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,320 Fucking head off. 228 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,080 Come on! 229 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,360 I fucking hate that duck. Why do ya hate ducks? 230 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,040 I don't hate ducks. I hate THAT duck. 231 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,840 About a week ago I was going up to feed me hens. 232 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,280 He was standing outside the door staring at me 233 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,680 and I knew something was up. 234 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,200 What have you done? 235 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,720 Normally me hens would have been chirping cheerfully at that 236 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,160 time of day but there was an eerie silence. 237 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,840 Not even a single cluck. 238 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,800 Maybe he just stepped in the blood. 239 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,280 What are you, his lawyer? No. 240 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,200 But just cos you saw a red footprint doesn't mean he's a murderer. 241 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,000 It's not just that. 242 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,600 He was intimidating that hen since I got her. 243 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,200 She hadn't laid an egg in weeks. 244 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,920 You happy? 245 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,920 Yeah. 20 euro. I'll give ya 18. 246 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,080 19. Done. 247 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,560 Have you got a euro change? No. 248 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:40,960 HE CHUCKLES 249 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,200 The key to good teamwork is communication. 250 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:52,440 Take it easy. 251 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,840 Do you want to fucking do it? 252 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,160 Come on, ya pair of pussies, 253 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,440 Conor's Dad carried the fridge on his own the last time. 254 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,800 Yeah, well, we don't want to end up like him, do we? 255 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,240 DUCK QUACKS 256 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,280 FARMER YELLS 257 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,680 Get back here, you little bollocks. 258 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,040 Get back here. 259 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,040 Yer not goin' to kill him with that, are you? 260 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,400 Yeah. I tried drowning him before but he just held his breath. 261 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,360 Can we do it? What? 262 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,600 Come on! We're from the city, we never get to kill anything. 263 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,040 PHONE RINGS 264 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,120 Hello? Hang on a second. 265 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,840 Just the duck, don't go killing anything else. 266 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,080 We won't. 267 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,920 Thanks. 268 00:17:55,920 --> 00:18:01,160 Yeah? What the fuck would I be doing with a jacuzzi? 269 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,200 This farming stuff is pretty easy to get your head around. 270 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:17,480 It's all about milking animals, feeding animals and killing animals. 271 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,040 Where's the body? I was going to eat that for my dinner. 272 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,360 Shit! Ya should've said that beforehand. 273 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:24,800 Here, look. 274 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,200 Hit him in the head. 275 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,360 I'm going to hit him in the back first to keep him still, 276 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,520 then the head. Whatever, just hit the fucker. 277 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,160 He's got a lot of fight in him. 278 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,400 That's a lot of blood. 279 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,560 I think I hit an artery. 280 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,960 Here, film me doin' it. 281 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,800 See if ya can get the head to come off. 282 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,320 I could get used to country living. 283 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,560 He's totally mangled. 284 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,640 Yeah, we threw him in de river so he wouldn't be stinking up the place. 285 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,440 Well, at least he's dead, that's the main thing. 286 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,720 Fred and Rosemary West, get in the car! 287 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,760 It's a farm, that's what they do on farms, they kill things. 288 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,440 It's basically where psychos go to be accepted. 289 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,800 I wouldn't mind killing a cow de next time. 290 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,520 Have you no respect for life? 291 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,960 You had duck from the Chinese last night. Not the same thing. 292 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,200 Why not? At least we looked our duck in the eye when we killed it. 293 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,160 I didn't kill any duck. No. You had someone do it for you. 294 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:05,840 QUACK 295 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,200 Did you say something? 296 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,400 Quack! 297 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,000 Quit it, Jock, it's not funny. 298 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,760 QUACKING 299 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,760 Quack! Quack! 300 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,880 Shit! What if he needs air? 301 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,320 Who needs air? 302 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,640 QUACKING 303 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,120 For fuck's sake! 304 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,480 Where did all the blood come from? 305 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,520 Give me more. 306 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,320 Fuck off and use your own, will ya? I'm running out. I don't like pain. 307 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,040 No-one likes pain, ya tool, 308 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,440 but if we don't do this that farmer is going to kill an innocent duck. 309 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,080 You better be appreciating' dis! 310 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:06,920 Hit him in the head. 311 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,160 I'm going to hit him in the back first, keep him still. 312 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,400 Then the head. Whatever, just hit the fucker. 313 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,800 I think I hit an artery. I could get used to country living. 314 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,920 That's perfect. 315 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,320 Get in the car. We're bringin' it back. 316 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,760 No way. He'll get hurt. 317 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,840 And what's yer plan, have it live with us? 318 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,480 Why not? It needs a home. 319 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,160 It has a home. 320 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,560 A home where it's goin' to get hit in the head with a hammer. 321 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,600 That duck was a trouble maker, you heard the farmer. 322 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:42,800 He brought it on himself. 323 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,880 He was probably just actin' out cos the farmer was mistreating him. 324 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,320 That's enough! We're bringin' it back to the farm. No! 325 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,840 Then we're leavin' it here. 326 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,400 It's domesticated. It won't last one night out here in the wilderness. 327 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,280 How can ya be so heartless? 328 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:02,880 How dare you call me that. I live and breathe to take care of you. 329 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,120 He can come back to my house. 330 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,600 I was hopin' to have a nice family day out with my son 331 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,760 and then you joined us. 332 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,120 Get in! 333 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,080 Did you ever have an argument in a car and then need to fart? 334 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,320 It wasn't me. 335 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,000 See you tomorrow, Con. See you. 336 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,720 Thanks for lettin' me come on de trip. 337 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,320 Wait, you're not leavin' him with us. 338 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,640 What do you expect me to do, sit him up on the crossbar? 339 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,760 I think it's best if you stay away for a while. 340 00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:00,120 I hear ya, let's take a break. I'll see you in a couple of days. 341 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,640 Jesus. What? 342 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,960 You're like a boomerang with shit on it. 343 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,040 Good one. You'd swear you didn't like me. 344 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,240 I don't like you, Jock. 345 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,720 Why is that? 346 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,160 Conor has so little confidence he'd latch on to anyone 347 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,560 and you're taking advantage of that. No, I don't mean... 348 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:31,960 Shut up now and listen to me. 349 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,560 He worships the ground you walk on. 350 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,480 He listens to your bullshit and he believes it 351 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,880 and it's all bullshit, isn't it? 352 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,080 He copies what you do, what you wear, what you say. 353 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,880 He wants to be just like you. 354 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,000 And that's my problem. 355 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,280 Cos you're nothing but a little scumbag. 356 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,400 It's not nice hearin' dem tings being said. 357 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,240 And yeah, some of them might be true but... 358 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,240 ..you're not perfect yourself. 359 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,840 And I never once said a bad thing about you. 360 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,040 DUCK QUACKS 361 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,040 You're not comin' back with me. 362 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,360 YELLING AND CRASHING 363 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:57,680 Some decisions you can spend fucking ages making. 364 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,040 You just keep debating with yourself until you're 365 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,960 100% certain that it's the right thing to do. 366 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:07,320 But most of the time, you do things without thinking at all. 367 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,960 There's just something inside you that tells you...you got to do it. 368 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:45,800 Do it, I fuckin' dare ya! 369 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,360 Jock, get everythin' you need from here. You're not coming back. 370 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:00,840 Come on, hurry up. 371 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,440 Come on. Get in the car. 372 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,120 Jock's going to be staying with us for a while. 373 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,240 Don't just stand there, grab his stuff and give him a hand. 374 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,280 Me da used to say the same shit over and over. 375 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,880 Like, "Out with the old, in with the new." 376 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,320 I think he'd be happy a new fridge was coming into the house. 377 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,160 Why does the new fridge look shitter than the old fridge? 378 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,200 I could sleep in here. 379 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,160 Right, you two transfer the food that's not wasted into the new 380 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,640 fridge and I'll make dinner. 381 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,000 Fill that up with water for the duck. 382 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,320 He'll never be able to swim in that. 383 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,600 To drink. Oh, yeah. 384 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,120 The two of us up on the plank of wood, what were we thinking? 385 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,320 We'd still be on the side of the road if it wasn't for him. 386 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,760 Big enough for a swim after all. 387 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,240 Sometimes the family you're born into isn't the right family at all. 388 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,960 The right family is the one that works.