1
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,930
♪ You know it's gotta be
G'd up ♪

2
00:00:10,931 --> 00:00:12,654
♪ The kind of ish that make
you cowards get beat up ♪

3
00:00:12,655 --> 00:00:14,930
♪ We on the outs until
we caught it and go do bids ♪

4
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♪ Man, you know the streets
ain't for kids ♪

5
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♪ Come on, come on ♪

6
00:00:18,344 --> 00:00:21,379
♪ I can't take the hood
out of me ♪

7
00:00:25,965 --> 00:00:28,309
Another beautiful morning
in my amazing neighborhood.

8
00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:30,723
Hey, son.
Going to my new job.

9
00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:32,033
Check it out, everybody.

10
00:00:32,034 --> 00:00:33,964
My dad's cleaned up,
and he's working.

11
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He is un-unemployed.

12
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- Yes!
- I feel like a million bucks.

13
00:00:37,965 --> 00:00:40,964
And you look
pretty fine too.

14
00:00:40,965 --> 00:00:42,447
Thanks, trench coat guy.

15
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That creepy dude was here
licking his lips

16
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:47,516
and wearing the same
sticky coat when I was a kid.

17
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Nice how some things
never change.

18
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,033
Oh, they change, all right.

19
00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:53,000
They just get
better and better.

20
00:00:54,551 --> 00:00:57,481
I'm Connie Discendo
from Action News 10.

21
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And I am proud
to emcee the reopening

22
00:01:01,655 --> 00:01:03,585
of this beautiful pool.

23
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In fact, you could say
I'm "Malcolm X-tra" proud.

24
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Who invited this corny bitch?

25
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Let's have round of applause

26
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for the Ninth District

27
00:01:17,482 --> 00:01:19,516
Neighborhood
Improvement Committee,

28
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led by Nancy Hart,
who put together this ceremony.

29
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That's my boo!

30
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Yay, Mom!

31
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And now, a special nod
to the man

32
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who is responsible for
bringing this vital piece

33
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of the community back to life.

34
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Dad, she's talking about you.

35
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You fixed the pool up.

36
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That man is
Councilman Coleman Bridges.

37
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Hello, North Philadelphia.
Oh, yeah.

38
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That counterfeit
corny brother again?

39
00:01:50,689 --> 00:01:52,033
Forget him, Dad.

40
00:01:52,034 --> 00:01:53,412
Just keep your
eyes on the prize--

41
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showing Mom that
you're off drugs

42
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and you cleaned up your life,
and you deserve

43
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to get back in the house.

44
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You're right.

45
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My experience on dope
wasn't in vain, though.

46
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It prepared me
to roll these towels.

47
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Yah-dah-dee!

48
00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:07,792
Thank you.

49
00:02:07,793 --> 00:02:10,723
When I first came up with
this idea to save this pool,

50
00:02:10,724 --> 00:02:12,343
the man said
it couldn't be done.

51
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You were the man, damn it!

52
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Now, everyone who can swim,
hop on in!

53
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Here I go.

54
00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:24,619
Well, more pool for me.

55
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Tag!

56
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You're it, Lauryn!

57
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You must be on them 'roids
'cause for a white girl,

58
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you fast as fuck!

59
00:02:33,931 --> 00:02:35,516
Aw, thanks.

60
00:02:35,517 --> 00:02:38,723
Babe, you're so good with
my kids, hiding and seeking.

61
00:02:38,724 --> 00:02:41,102
Now that's some next-level shit
right there.

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Everybody, get down!

63
00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:43,792
Get down!

64
00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:51,619
It's that new gang again,
the West Side Killers.

65
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:55,792
This neighborhood is going
to hell in a handbasket!

66
00:02:55,793 --> 00:02:58,033
By the way,
what is a handbasket?

67
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I see how bad it's getting
every day at the hospital--

68
00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:03,654
more overdoses, more drive-bys.

69
00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,999
It's like reopening
the pool did nothing

70
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,619
to stop the drug crime.

71
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,102
And Coleman "Fake Brother
in Charge" Bridges over here

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isn't gonna be any help.

73
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Oh, yes, he will.

74
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He owes us.

75
00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:18,619
After all, we saved his life
during his "heart episode."

76
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,309
More like a "fart episode."

77
00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:26,999
- One towel please, sir.
- Sir?

78
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Everybody else calls me

79
00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:30,240
Mr. Poop-Butt
the Walking Skidmark.

80
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You must be new.

81
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,964
Here.

82
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:35,792
No seeds, no stems,
no sticks in this towel.

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West Side!

84
00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:38,964
Gotta love it in the hood.

85
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Hey, you're a good swimmer.
I'm Kevin.

86
00:03:41,517 --> 00:03:45,757
Yeah, you can call me Lil Kev,
or Kevin, or Kev.

87
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I'm Brian.
You can call me Brian.

88
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Hey, man. You okay?

89
00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:54,654
Well, I miss the pool
from my old school in Trenton.

90
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I was on the swim team there.

91
00:03:56,655 --> 00:03:59,274
But then we had to move
when my dad died.

92
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Oh, my God.

93
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:02,619
You were on a swim team?

94
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:06,447
Yeah, that was the point
of that story.

95
00:04:06,448 --> 00:04:09,136
Young man, what do you
wanna be when you grow up?

96
00:04:09,137 --> 00:04:11,516
I'm trying to be your
mama's new boo thing.

97
00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:14,861
I heard she thick as fuck!

98
00:04:14,862 --> 00:04:17,274
I'll be sure to let her know.
Ahem.

99
00:04:17,275 --> 00:04:19,619
Uh, the councilman
has an important meeting

100
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:22,274
with the mayor
and--and our governor.

101
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He's leaving.
It's now or never.

102
00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:25,826
Hey, sis!

103
00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:27,585
Allison and I wanna have dinner
with you tomorrow night.

104
00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:29,930
Sorry, out of my way.
I'm on a serious mission.

105
00:04:29,931 --> 00:04:31,723
Do you think
she's blowing me off

106
00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:35,136
because I'm white or because
I gave Kevin an A-minus

107
00:04:35,137 --> 00:04:36,792
on his vocabulary test?

108
00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:39,585
It all cool,
but, uh, now that we fucking,

109
00:04:39,586 --> 00:04:42,826
uh, I'm gonna expect you
to lose that A-minus shit.

110
00:04:42,827 --> 00:04:43,964
Understand me?

111
00:04:43,965 --> 00:04:45,723
Mr. Bridges, before you go,

112
00:04:45,724 --> 00:04:47,654
I'd love to speak
with you about ways

113
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,136
to reduce the crime
plaguing our neighborhoods.

114
00:04:50,137 --> 00:04:51,516
That is a very
important issue.

115
00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:53,861
I have a five-point plan
to address it.

116
00:04:53,862 --> 00:04:55,412
- We don't have a plan.
- Ugh!

117
00:04:55,413 --> 00:04:56,826
The governor mayor waits.

118
00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:57,964
Bridges for Senate!

119
00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:03,412
Just another sexy politician
giving us the runaround.

120
00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:05,343
Well, I'm not done,
and I won't back down!

121
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Get back down!

122
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,516
Yo, yo, yo! Wait, Brian.

123
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Pump your brakes!

124
00:05:12,862 --> 00:05:14,550
Look, I'm sorry for being
insensitive

125
00:05:14,551 --> 00:05:16,516
about your dad earlier.

126
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,102
You know, I'm not great
with bad news.

127
00:05:18,103 --> 00:05:20,343
I'm a "focus on the positive"
kind of dude.

128
00:05:20,344 --> 00:05:22,585
All good. Thanks.

129
00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:24,688
It was pretty hard when my dad
was diagnosed with--

130
00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:26,378
But swim team is so cool.

131
00:05:26,379 --> 00:05:27,792
I mean, I bet if
you were on a team again,

132
00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:29,447
like with me
and a couple other guys,

133
00:05:29,448 --> 00:05:31,136
you'd be happy again.

134
00:05:31,137 --> 00:05:33,171
And then the girl of my dreams
would fall in love with me

135
00:05:33,172 --> 00:05:34,688
'cause girls like jocks.

136
00:05:34,689 --> 00:05:35,930
And then we would win
the state championship,

137
00:05:35,931 --> 00:05:37,550
and my mom and dad
are cheering.

138
00:05:37,551 --> 00:05:39,309
They lock eyes,
they fall in love again.

139
00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:41,447
They kiss. Me and my girl kiss.

140
00:05:41,448 --> 00:05:43,171
Freeze frame.

141
00:05:43,172 --> 00:05:45,723
Then Peabo Bryson sings
over the end credits.

142
00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:48,205
Like I said, I just--
I think positively.

143
00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:49,447
No shit.

144
00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:50,619
So let's do this!

145
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:51,999
We'll get you
over your troubles,

146
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and we'll start a swim team.

147
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:54,964
Swim team?

148
00:05:54,965 --> 00:05:57,550
That sounds like a lot
of money for uniforms

149
00:05:57,551 --> 00:05:59,067
and drowning insurance!

150
00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:02,171
Young man,
you're not dyslexic, are you?

151
00:06:02,172 --> 00:06:06,861
Or have anything that will
get me federal money, hmm?

152
00:06:06,862 --> 00:06:08,171
ADD?

153
00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:10,136
PTSD?

154
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,309
OPP?

155
00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,688
Does a high GPA count?

156
00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:15,688
All you get for that is
a bright future, damn it!

157
00:06:15,689 --> 00:06:17,240
Oh, come on,
Principal Johnson.

158
00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:18,447
Just give us a chance.

159
00:06:18,448 --> 00:06:20,033
We just need a faculty advisor.

160
00:06:20,034 --> 00:06:22,102
All you gotta do is
sign a piece of paper

161
00:06:22,103 --> 00:06:23,585
and show up once or twice.

162
00:06:23,586 --> 00:06:26,861
I don't know about
all this "twice" nonsense.

163
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,654
Okay, well,
if you can't do it,

164
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,379
then maybe
the superintendent will.

165
00:06:31,689 --> 00:06:33,585
You know, I've been
meaning to tell him

166
00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:35,481
how you stole the logbook
to avoid

167
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,793
giving us a pizza party.

168
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,343
I am so horribly corrupt!

169
00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:48,930
Good morning!

170
00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:51,136
I made breakfast!

171
00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:53,826
I took a page out
of Uncle Richard's recipe book.

172
00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:55,723
Sorry, baby.
No time for breakfast.

173
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:57,516
I gotta save our
neighborhood from crime.

174
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:58,930
No time for me either.

175
00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:00,378
I'm in training
for the swim team I started.

176
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,861
Hmm.

177
00:07:01,862 --> 00:07:03,378
Which I'm now asking
for your permission to do.

178
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:04,999
Okay.

179
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,930
You can be
on the swim team, but--

180
00:07:06,931 --> 00:07:08,550
Be home before
the lights come on.

181
00:07:08,551 --> 00:07:10,792
Don't talk to strangers.
Avoid the ho stroll.

182
00:07:10,793 --> 00:07:13,343
And for God's sake,
duck if I hear a drive-by.

183
00:07:13,344 --> 00:07:14,516
I've trained you well.

184
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,067
Yes, you did.

185
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:17,378
both:
Gotta go!

186
00:07:17,379 --> 00:07:20,412
What about my
government cheese omelets?

187
00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:24,550
-I will be proud to
represent you in Washington!

188
00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:27,102
As far away from these
motherfuckers as I can get.

189
00:07:27,103 --> 00:07:30,343
Councilman Bridges,
do you have a plan to deal

190
00:07:30,344 --> 00:07:32,240
with the rise in drug crime?

191
00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:36,205
Mrs. Hart,
first of all, I wanna thank you

192
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,585
for asking me that question.

193
00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:38,964
It deserves an answer.

194
00:07:38,965 --> 00:07:40,688
Something I've
never questioned?

195
00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:42,654
Freedom. Bridges for Senate.

196
00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:43,654
Answer the question.

197
00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:51,757
Gerald and Soupy, welcome.

198
00:07:51,758 --> 00:07:55,172
You are the elite,
the best of the best.

199
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,067
Our road to glory is paved
with chlorinated water.

200
00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:01,619
All right,
everybody in the pool!

201
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,378
Yeah!

202
00:08:03,379 --> 00:08:05,343
Damn! That water is wet!

203
00:08:05,344 --> 00:08:07,274
I want my mama!

204
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,033
I don't know about this, Kev.

205
00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:11,930
I'm no expert, but most
swim teams usually have

206
00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:14,481
people who know how to swim.

207
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,792
That's a minor hurdle.

208
00:08:18,793 --> 00:08:20,723
We just gotta stay positive.

209
00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:23,654
Gerald and Soupy,
I promise you will learn

210
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,688
how to swim or die trying.

211
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,378
- Hey!
- Yeah!

212
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:35,481
Ah!

213
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,723
Hey! That's my house!

214
00:08:37,724 --> 00:08:39,274
Look at me swim, boy!

215
00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:40,343
That's it!

216
00:08:40,344 --> 00:08:41,481
Keep kicking your legs!

217
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:42,999
Hey, Rhe Rhe.

218
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,585
I'm captain of the swim team
I just started.

219
00:08:44,586 --> 00:08:45,826
Oh, good for you.

220
00:08:45,827 --> 00:08:48,309
If you believe,
you can achieve.

221
00:08:50,034 --> 00:08:51,861
Ee!

222
00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:53,033
Whoa!

223
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:55,136
Shit!

224
00:08:55,137 --> 00:08:57,550
You're doing it! Go! Go!

225
00:08:57,551 --> 00:08:59,136
Come on, guys!

226
00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:01,757
They're doing it!
They're not drowning!

227
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:02,930
We just had to
find something that

228
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:04,447
scares them more than water.

229
00:09:08,103 --> 00:09:09,654
Oh, yeah.

230
00:09:09,655 --> 00:09:11,619
Ah!
Get your hands off my booty!

231
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,930
- He's gonna get your booty!
- No! No!

232
00:09:13,931 --> 00:09:16,309
What an incredible way
to teach them how to swim.

233
00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:18,171
Shit, that's how
I learned to do it.

234
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:19,930
Oh, I remember.

235
00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:22,447
You want some
Good & Plentys, big boy?

236
00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:24,447
Still got it.

237
00:09:24,448 --> 00:09:26,654
Ss.

238
00:09:26,655 --> 00:09:29,757
Just yesterday, two of them
gangsters broke into my salon

239
00:09:29,758 --> 00:09:32,309
and stole all my hot oil.

240
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,688
Probably using it to get high.

241
00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:37,826
Or they're extremely ashy.

242
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,550
That was
Councilman Bridges' office.

243
00:09:40,551 --> 00:09:42,481
He's coming over here
this Sunday.

244
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,378
How'd you convince him
to do that?

245
00:09:45,379 --> 00:09:48,205
A combination of prayer,
offering him free food,

246
00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:50,309
and the threat of leaking
his medical records

247
00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:51,585
to the newspapers.

248
00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:53,447
Thank the Lord for blackmail.

249
00:09:53,448 --> 00:09:56,688
That bitch is finally
gonna hear our concerns.

250
00:09:56,689 --> 00:09:58,550
Wait, what are our concerns?

251
00:10:00,551 --> 00:10:02,688
I remember now--crime.

252
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,309
Thank you, motherfucker!

253
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,619
I'm gonna tell bitches
about those crooks

254
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,585
who steal my potato chips.

255
00:10:08,586 --> 00:10:11,205
Once they pop, they never stop.

256
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,447
Please! One at a time!

257
00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:18,999
Everybody calm down.

258
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,723
We will all have a chance
to say our piece

259
00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:23,481
when Bridges come here.

260
00:10:23,482 --> 00:10:25,412
Me first, of course.

261
00:10:25,413 --> 00:10:29,723
Actually, he's coming
to my family's Sunday dinner.

262
00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:31,550
So there's no room for you.

263
00:10:31,551 --> 00:10:32,654
all:
What?

264
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,792
I'm telling you,
your sister doesn't like me.

265
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:42,067
I'd be shocked if she
even knew my first name.

266
00:10:42,068 --> 00:10:44,378
Oh, you just caught her
on a bad day, baby.

267
00:10:44,379 --> 00:10:46,033
She's under a lot of stress--

268
00:10:46,034 --> 00:10:48,412
raising kids,
saving the hospital,

269
00:10:48,413 --> 00:10:50,895
going to concert jail
for being a hoochie.

270
00:10:50,896 --> 00:10:53,343
Now she's working around
the clock stopping crime.

271
00:10:56,275 --> 00:10:59,033
Well, three out of four
ain't bad.

272
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,412
- Yeah!
- You got this!

273
00:11:00,413 --> 00:11:02,723
Let's go! Let's go!

274
00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:04,688
Let's go! You can do this!
- Yeah!

275
00:11:04,689 --> 00:11:06,274
Go, you guys, go!

276
00:11:07,724 --> 00:11:09,654
Excellent swimming, boys.

277
00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:12,516
I am so proud
to be your advisor.

278
00:11:12,517 --> 00:11:15,654
This counts as my one time
going to practice.

279
00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:17,274
See ya!

280
00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:18,792
Kev, when you told me
to stay positive,

281
00:11:18,793 --> 00:11:20,274
I thought you were crazy.

282
00:11:20,275 --> 00:11:22,171
But you were right.
It's working!

283
00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:23,378
I told you.

284
00:11:23,379 --> 00:11:25,826
Positive Kev will
never steer you wrong.

285
00:11:25,827 --> 00:11:27,826
Dad, I did it!

286
00:11:27,827 --> 00:11:29,309
We're a real team now.

287
00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:31,792
- I'm proud of you, son.
- Yes, sir.

288
00:11:31,793 --> 00:11:33,688
Everything's coming together
like butt cheeks.

289
00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:35,309
I'm an athlete now.

290
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,619
Rhe Rhe's hanging out around
practices, checking me out.

291
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:40,447
And all that's left is for you
and Mom to get back together.

292
00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:42,481
That would be nice--

293
00:11:42,482 --> 00:11:43,792
one of these days.

294
00:11:43,793 --> 00:11:45,723
Well, one of these days
is tomorrow.

295
00:11:45,724 --> 00:11:47,688
Dad, come to
Sunday dinner with me.

296
00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:49,171
Sunday dinner?

297
00:11:49,172 --> 00:11:50,550
In the house?

298
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:52,067
Shit, no.

299
00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:53,585
Nancy, don't play about
the Lord's supper.

300
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:55,447
Yeah, but she just needs
to see how great you're doing.

301
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,205
You're ready.

302
00:11:57,206 --> 00:11:59,757
Come on.
Please be my guest tomorrow.

303
00:11:59,758 --> 00:12:02,067
I'll do it!

304
00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:03,792
And I'll hook you up
with some new gear.

305
00:12:03,793 --> 00:12:06,688
When I'm done with you, you're
gonna look like an after photo.

306
00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:09,067
I've been so many befores.

307
00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:11,757
Sunday dinner is
sacred at my house.

308
00:12:11,758 --> 00:12:14,205
We never invite outside guests,

309
00:12:14,206 --> 00:12:17,102
but Councilman Bridges
is a special case.

310
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,723
I hope you can understand.

311
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:20,516
Oh, we understand.

312
00:12:20,517 --> 00:12:23,033
When we're doing the hard work
for this committee,

313
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,550
we're all in it together.

314
00:12:24,551 --> 00:12:27,378
But when the hard work
pays off and we get

315
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:33,274
some quality time with that
fine-ass phony, it's all Nancy.

316
00:12:33,275 --> 00:12:34,930
Marisol, please.

317
00:12:34,931 --> 00:12:36,826
This might be our
only chance to have

318
00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:39,240
the ear of a future senator.

319
00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:42,999
I honestly believe if
I sit down with him one-on-one

320
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,654
without an audience, I can
break through his phoniness

321
00:12:46,655 --> 00:12:48,343
and get some results.

322
00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:51,895
I just wanna make him feel
at ease and not overwhelmed.

323
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,447
Girl, she do got
a point, though.

324
00:12:53,448 --> 00:12:55,309
You can be a little combative.

325
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:59,619
If you call me combative
again, I will cut a bitch.

326
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:00,895
Hey, sis.

327
00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,447
Allison and I
were thinking about--

328
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,550
Not now, Richard.
We're talking.

329
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,136
Told ya!

330
00:13:13,034 --> 00:13:15,309
Dad, you're gonna look
so good for Mom today.

331
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:17,447
Wait. Why are you turning blue?

332
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,550
You got my drawstring
too tight.

333
00:13:19,551 --> 00:13:21,654
It's like a damn girdle.

334
00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:23,654
Ah, there's my
second trimester.

335
00:13:23,655 --> 00:13:25,723
You just need
one more thing to finish off

336
00:13:25,724 --> 00:13:28,862
that "Shaft's Big Score" look
and seal the deal with Mom.

337
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:33,378
This day just gets
better and better.

338
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,688
Kev asked
and the bench provided.

339
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:36,723
Try it on.

340
00:13:36,724 --> 00:13:38,274
both:
Ooh.

341
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:39,964
Yeah.

342
00:13:39,965 --> 00:13:42,585
I'd fuck you!

343
00:13:42,586 --> 00:13:43,861
Pardon me, Kev.

344
00:13:43,862 --> 00:13:46,240
I mean make love.

345
00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:49,343
Okay, Dad, I'm gonna go home
and clear the runway with Mom.

346
00:13:49,344 --> 00:13:52,447
Just wait a few minutes and
then make your big entrance.

347
00:13:52,448 --> 00:13:54,033
Don't worry, Kev.

348
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,895
I'll take my sweet time
in my sweet threads.

349
00:13:56,896 --> 00:13:59,619
I'm gonna get Nancy back
like The Jackson 5.

350
00:14:05,034 --> 00:14:07,861
That bastard got my coat, the
one I threw up under the bench

351
00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:09,550
when the popo was after us.

352
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,447
All my shit is up in there.

353
00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:13,757
I'll say it again.
If we wore fanny packs--

354
00:14:13,758 --> 00:14:15,274
Fanny packs?

355
00:14:15,275 --> 00:14:17,757
Do I look like a middle-aged
nigga from the Midwest?

356
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:19,309
Perfect.

357
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:22,171
All this place needed
was a little TLC--

358
00:14:22,172 --> 00:14:24,550
Tough Love and Clorox.

359
00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:26,654
Yeah, and I'm all three.
Damn, Mom.

360
00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:28,826
At this rate, I'm gonna
scrub down to the subbasement.

361
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,550
Good idea, Robert.

362
00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:32,240
Scrub the subbasement too.

363
00:14:32,241 --> 00:14:34,067
The councilman
might go down there.

364
00:14:34,068 --> 00:14:36,378
All right, Mom.
Setting a fifth chair.

365
00:14:36,379 --> 00:14:38,412
We have a very
special guest today.

366
00:14:38,413 --> 00:14:39,654
Yes, we do.

367
00:14:39,655 --> 00:14:42,102
both: Wait.
Who are you talking about?

368
00:14:42,103 --> 00:14:43,447
- Dad.
- Coleman Bridges.

369
00:14:43,448 --> 00:14:45,102
- That phony baloney?
- That no-good drunk?

370
00:14:45,103 --> 00:14:46,412
Oh, now, come on.

371
00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:48,654
I want you to see
how good Daddy's doing.

372
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,067
He's got a job, and he's clean.

373
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:51,343
And he's helping me
with the swim team.

374
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:54,205
He's not invited
to my Sunday dinner.

375
00:14:54,206 --> 00:14:55,723
This should be fun to watch.

376
00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:57,757
You stop stirring the pot.

377
00:14:57,758 --> 00:14:59,826
No, stir the pot! Stir the pot!

378
00:14:59,827 --> 00:15:01,723
Get your filthy, raggedy-ass--

379
00:15:01,724 --> 00:15:03,516
Well, hello.

380
00:15:03,517 --> 00:15:07,136
Councilman,
welcome to my humble abode.

381
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:08,999
I see you brought a guest.

382
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,378
No problem.

383
00:15:10,379 --> 00:15:12,619
Kevin, would you kindly
set an extra chair

384
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,412
for Mr. Bridges' aide?

385
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,826
Well, where am I
supposed to get it from?

386
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,274
Just find one.

387
00:15:19,137 --> 00:15:22,343
Great.
The dirtbag is here.

388
00:15:22,344 --> 00:15:23,516
Hey, sis.
I brought my girl--

389
00:15:23,517 --> 00:15:24,757
Fantastic!

390
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,171
Another mouth to feed.

391
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:30,654
Like I said,
this woman hates me.

392
00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:34,550
I hope you don't mind.

393
00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:36,861
My brother is here
with his girlfriend.

394
00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:38,136
Not at all.

395
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,619
The more, the merrier.

396
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:42,654
Thank you for being
so accommodating.

397
00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:44,654
Robert, put on more spaghetti.

398
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:46,688
Invite the whole world,
why don't we?

399
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:51,033
That's your father.
I'll fix his wagon.

400
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,930
Tiki Dante!

401
00:15:52,931 --> 00:15:54,585
What the hell
are you doing here?

402
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:58,067
You said there was a standing
invitation to come by any time.

403
00:15:58,068 --> 00:16:00,309
Don't tell me
your ass reneging.

404
00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:03,309
I know I said that,
but I was just being polite.

405
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,930
Mrs. Hart,
you're so generous.

406
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,171
Yes, I am.

407
00:16:07,172 --> 00:16:10,136
All part of my dedication
to the community.

408
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:15,240
I brought
you these, Ms. Hart.

409
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,895
Such a thoughtful thing
for me to have to deal with.

410
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,240
Excuse me.

411
00:16:20,241 --> 00:16:22,033
Give me some
dead man's flowers.

412
00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:25,619
More sauce, Robert!

413
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:26,895
But how much more?

414
00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:29,378
All of it!
All the sauce ever.

415
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:32,067
Time for some prison cuisine
I learned from the unc.

416
00:16:32,068 --> 00:16:35,240
Kevin, bring up those two
lawn chairs from the basement.

417
00:16:35,241 --> 00:16:37,240
Damn, sis.
That's my bed.

418
00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:38,723
I don't care.

419
00:16:38,724 --> 00:16:41,516
Just make sure there's
no pubic hair on it.

420
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,550
I knew it.

421
00:16:44,551 --> 00:16:46,586
She just want to get all
the credit for herself.

422
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,654
Oh, great.

423
00:16:49,655 --> 00:16:52,171
Mr. Poop-Butt
the Walking Skidmark is here.

424
00:16:52,172 --> 00:16:54,067
How do I look, Nay-Nay?

425
00:16:54,068 --> 00:16:57,481
I must admit, better than
your normal trainwreck style.

426
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:59,723
But I don't have time
for your mess today.

427
00:16:59,724 --> 00:17:01,067
I have a very important guest.

428
00:17:01,068 --> 00:17:02,309
That's the guy that
punched me in the dick

429
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:03,826
at the election debate!

430
00:17:03,827 --> 00:17:06,136
You got your wrist
caught in my hangers!

431
00:17:06,137 --> 00:17:07,688
An unpleasant experience
for us both.

432
00:17:09,068 --> 00:17:11,826
Can we please do this
another time?

433
00:17:11,827 --> 00:17:13,309
What in the hell?

434
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:15,136
We are members
of this committee,

435
00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:17,585
and this is important
committee business.

436
00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:18,999
Rude, rude...

437
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,688
And fucking rude.

438
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:23,412
Now, where are you hiding
that fine-ass councilman?

439
00:17:23,413 --> 00:17:28,344
Come on in, estranged husband
and every damn body else.

440
00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:32,067
God damn.

441
00:17:32,068 --> 00:17:34,274
Them motherfuckers
deep in that bitch.

442
00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:37,378
We gonna need the rest of
the boys to handle this shit.

443
00:17:37,379 --> 00:17:40,447
This looks like
a major drug gang sitdown.

444
00:17:40,448 --> 00:17:42,517
Time to call in the big guns.

445
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:45,930
Mmm.

446
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,757
This spaghetti is delicious.

447
00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:49,171
What's your secret?

448
00:17:49,172 --> 00:17:52,412
Ketchup, Hi-C,
and grape cough syrup.

449
00:17:52,413 --> 00:17:55,343
Now that's my penitentiary
protégé right there.

450
00:17:55,344 --> 00:17:57,343
Mom, my swim team
is ready to go.

451
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,999
And don't Dad look sharp
in his new coat?

452
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,964
Not now, boy.

453
00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:03,481
Councilman, I thought we could
talk about how we're losing

454
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:05,274
our youth to the drug gangs.

455
00:18:05,275 --> 00:18:06,757
Just a moment.

456
00:18:06,758 --> 00:18:08,136
I need to get some footage
for my campaign ad

457
00:18:08,137 --> 00:18:09,964
of me discussing the issues.

458
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,482
Bring in the crew!

459
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,412
- Oh!
- Hey!

460
00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:16,792
- Whoa.
- Oh, all--all right.

461
00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:18,516
I--I can work with this.

462
00:18:18,517 --> 00:18:22,999
In the last year, crime in this
neighborhood has gone up 27%--

463
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,550
Oh, oh, there's no sound.

464
00:18:24,551 --> 00:18:26,274
We're just getting
behind the scenes B-roll,

465
00:18:26,275 --> 00:18:27,619
so it doesn't matter
what you say.

466
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:28,826
Action!

467
00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:30,378
Issues, issues, issues.

468
00:18:30,379 --> 00:18:32,033
Okay, nod like you're
impressed with my solutions.

469
00:18:32,034 --> 00:18:33,895
Impressed,
impressed, impressed.

470
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:35,447
That is enough!

471
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,930
I am not here to be
a prop in your commercial.

472
00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,999
In your face, phony Freddie!

473
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,067
Or to star
in a love story with you

474
00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,550
and your dumbass new coat.

475
00:18:43,551 --> 00:18:45,481
What you mean?
Get your hand off!

476
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:48,826
I am having a serious
discussion with the councilman

477
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,688
about the scourge of--drugs!

478
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:54,309
I sure hope that's
confectioner's sugar.

479
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,619
Wait, no, no, no,
that's not daddy's.

480
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:57,964
No, he's clean!

481
00:18:57,965 --> 00:19:00,102
I can't believe you
brought drugs to my home

482
00:19:00,103 --> 00:19:02,619
with the councilman,
our children,

483
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:05,274
and Richard's new girlfriend,
Allison here.

484
00:19:05,275 --> 00:19:06,309
She knows my name!

485
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:07,585
Now, now.

486
00:19:07,586 --> 00:19:09,447
No need for this
to get out of hand.

487
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:12,516
Give us my, shit, you
no-drawers-wearing-ass nigga.

488
00:19:12,517 --> 00:19:14,792
Oh, we are way past
out of hand.

489
00:19:14,793 --> 00:19:17,792
Oh, God, Henry,
what'd you do?

490
00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:19,309
Nothing! I--I swear!

491
00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:21,274
- Freeze!
- Federal agents!

492
00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:24,274
I do not know this woman!

493
00:19:24,275 --> 00:19:26,654
All you gangsters,
put your hands up!

494
00:19:26,655 --> 00:19:29,205
Except you ladies,
who are obviously hostages.

495
00:19:29,206 --> 00:19:32,999
That is because we're white.

496
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,447
Ah.

497
00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:36,964
Okay, now, everybody,
let's just calm down.

498
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:38,723
This is all a misunderstanding.

499
00:19:38,724 --> 00:19:40,205
My daddy is clean.

500
00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:42,205
I just happened to pick up
the wrong coat

501
00:19:42,206 --> 00:19:44,619
from under the bus bench
that happened

502
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:46,274
to have drugs in the pocket.

503
00:19:46,275 --> 00:19:48,723
And a gun.

504
00:19:48,724 --> 00:19:49,861
all:
Gun!

505
00:19:53,103 --> 00:19:54,310
Ah!

506
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,689
Ah, shit! My glasses!

507
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,309
What is going on?

508
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:10,861
I am proud the federal
authorities acted on my tip

509
00:20:10,862 --> 00:20:13,171
that a drug gang was operating
out of this home,

510
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,481
which is the only reason
I'd be here.

511
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,516
Bridges for Senate.

512
00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,136
Thank you, Councilman.

513
00:20:18,137 --> 00:20:20,550
And here come
the despicable members

514
00:20:20,551 --> 00:20:24,447
of the Hart crime family.

515
00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:26,171
This can't be happening.

516
00:20:26,172 --> 00:20:28,171
Henry Hart,
what was I thinking

517
00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:29,619
letting you back in my house?

518
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,930
I never wanna see you again.

519
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,172
You can die for all I care,

520
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:37,240
Kevin.

521
00:20:37,241 --> 00:20:40,826
I cannot have a child
of gangsters on my swim team!

522
00:20:40,827 --> 00:20:43,309
Okay, but I didn't even--
we didn't even--

523
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,723
all I wanted to do was--

524
00:20:44,724 --> 00:20:48,516
Guys, we'll have to find
someone to replace Kevin!

525
00:20:48,517 --> 00:20:49,964
We'll be okay,
Principal Johnson.

526
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:52,999
Like I always say,
it pays to stay positive.

527
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,205
Wait, what?

528
00:20:54,206 --> 00:20:57,619
Oh, Brian,
you're so optimistic.

529
00:20:57,620 --> 00:21:00,826
You're not like the other boys
in this neighborhood.

530
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:05,550
You don't fool around with
dumb stuff like drugs or guns.

531
00:21:05,551 --> 00:21:08,654
Would you be my boyfriend?

532
00:21:08,655 --> 00:21:11,861
Mwah!

533
00:21:11,862 --> 00:21:13,240
The Hart crime family.

534
00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:15,378
You can die for all I care!

535
00:21:15,379 --> 00:21:17,895
We'll have to replace Kevin!

536
00:21:17,896 --> 00:21:19,447
Boyfriend?

537
00:21:19,448 --> 00:21:21,550
Motherfucker!

538
00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:23,723
Kevin!

539
00:21:23,724 --> 00:21:25,412
I taught you to
never talk like that.

540
00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,067
No, I don't care anymore!

541
00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:29,205
I always play by the rules
and look on the bright side.

542
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:30,895
And what does it get me? Shit.

543
00:21:30,896 --> 00:21:33,895
Well, fuck positivity and fuck
this fucking neighborhood!

544
00:21:33,896 --> 00:21:35,895
Come on.
Take it easy, Lil Kev.

545
00:21:35,896 --> 00:21:37,447
Don't call me that.

546
00:21:37,448 --> 00:21:39,102
None of y'all call me
Lil Kev anymore.

547
00:21:39,103 --> 00:21:41,309
From now on, I'm Dark Kev!

548
00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:45,447
I always thought
that was his name.

549
00:21:45,448 --> 00:21:46,964
Where are you going?

550
00:21:46,965 --> 00:21:49,757
I don't know, but I'm
getting the fuck out of here!

551
00:21:54,724 --> 00:21:56,550
♪ Busting you up,
cutting you up ♪

552
00:21:56,551 --> 00:21:59,171
Man. That kid is crazy.

553
00:21:59,172 --> 00:22:01,619
Run, Dark Kev, run!

554
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:04,205
That felt so fucking good!

555
00:22:05,586 --> 00:22:07,758
Uh-oh.
What the heck did I do?

556
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:12,136
♪ The devil in my eyes,
pitchfork in my fist ♪

557
00:22:12,137 --> 00:22:13,757
♪ You don't want,
you don't want ♪

558
00:22:13,758 --> 00:22:15,102
♪ You don't want
none of this ♪

559
00:22:15,103 --> 00:22:16,378
♪ You don't want,
you don't want ♪

560
00:22:16,379 --> 00:22:17,723
♪ You don't want
none of this ♪

561
00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:19,033
♪ You don't want,
you don't want ♪

562
00:22:19,034 --> 00:22:20,343
♪ You don't want
none of this ♪

563
00:22:20,344 --> 00:22:21,654
♪ You don't want,
you don't want ♪

564
00:22:21,655 --> 00:22:24,171
♪ You don't want
none of this ♪