Is the camera working?
The statement!
Hurry.
Bring him to me.
Get up!
He's waiting for you!
Move it, move it.
On your knees!
Read this, you dog!
Read!
"In exchange for my life,
"France must give weapons to my kidnappers.
"If they don't obey within 72 hours,
"I will be executed."
"For very too far long, France, both imperialist
"and coloniolist
"oppresses people."
"It is very time for these people to slay France."
I cannot say that.
Read!
Everyone wants to be French, even you.
There are too many mistakes!
Let me say it my way.
Fine, but fast it you do!
Now I know who wrote it.
Hurry up, you dog!
Hello. My name is Hubert Bonisseur de La Bath.
And I'm alive and well.
To the displeasure of despots,
tyrants and adversaries of our beautiful country.
Sorry, enemies, send back the champagne and confetti.
OSS 117 is not dead.
What did he say?
I address President Giscard d'Estaing.
Via him, I address all of France.
France as well its regions,
its landscapes and countryside.
I refer also
to our forests, our salt flats.
And our coveted products like Burgundy,
Beaufort,
nougat, calissons, kouign-amann.
What's kouign-amann?
Kouign-amann, I'll kill you!
Before transmitting my captors' grievances,
I wish you all a happy, healthy 1981.
Erase the end and edit the tape!
Where you going?
Just dawdling.
PANJSHIR VALLEY, AFGHANISTAN
We'll have a little talk.
With pleasure.
So you have no more weapons?
Pity for a military superpower.
We have all we need!
No, there's nothing in the USSR.
Tons of weapons! Enough to blow up the planet.
Dream on!
Ready for takeoff?
Yes, hurry!
What are these?
Wood crates.
And these?
What are they?
They look like weapons.
But do they work?
Good luck, comrade!
Sorry, this is my taxi.
Original.
Found it!
I guess you're OSS 117.
And you're CIA.
In case of trouble, you Americans...
you lend a hand but... always late.
Sorry, it was Near Year's Eve. Lots of traffic.
Isn't it midnight on the dot now in the States?
Happy New Year, 117.
Well, it's getting off to...
one hell of a start.
FROM AFRICA WITH LOVE
The fate of our country...
You are my brothers!
To offer the country
a government program for all.
January 5, 1981
Hello, boss.
Giscard for President
Mitterrand for President
Hi.
No thank you.
Service of External Documentation and Counterespionage
Good to see you.
Nice! Thanks for the peek.
- Hubert! You're alive. - Of course.
- Happy New Year, Chantal. - Same to you.
Happy New Year, Annie. Pretty view.
Happy New Year, Hubert.
Moulinier.
- De La Bath. Happy New Year. - Same to you, old chap.
"Oh!" she said!
- Hi, Jacquard. - Good to see you.
Hello, Martine.
- And thank you. - You're welcome, hello.
- Hello, Calot. - De La Bath.
I don't get a "hello"?
Excuse me.
Hello, Margaret.
Politburo!
De La Bath, you scared me stiff!
I made a blotch.
Happy New year, Ledentu.
Good to see you.
Me too. Best wishes.
And lots of health!
- Health is important. - I'll say!
Years go by and we don't grow younger.
What are you getting at?
Time flies but leaves you untouched.
I found another wrinkle this morning.
Come now. Where?
Here.
Where, pray tell?
Where? What's this?
Oh yes!
Yes, yes.
There's another one next to it.
There's one here.
Lots of tiny ones! You didn't say so.
They're all over.
Enough.
I'll go see the boss.
No, no he's busy.
I have my post-mission debriefing.
But there's...
- Happy New Year, boss. - Hubert! Happy New Year.
Glad to see you alive!
I like to see life as a series of...
Yes, of course.
Serge...
meet Hubert.
OSS 117.
OSS 1001.
1001?
117.
117!
The...
the real thing, the one and only.
The Legend.
Clammy palms, totally.
Hello.
I am so loving this... Sorry.
Serge is our new recruit.
Really.
Forgive me. For me, you're a reference.
I'd even say, a goal.
And you're still...
in good shape. Not someone to mess with.
Handsome.
A handsome...
I mean areal...
a handsome...
Sir, I just wanted to say France is what it is thanks to you.
Yes. And General De Gaulle too.
Yes but...
- It's true. - True.
- Yes. - Yes.
- Sorry, have a seat. - I'm fine.
Serge, your passport.
And President René Coty?
What was President René Coty like? Was he cool?
Suit, clean-shaved, short hair.
We knew what he wasn't.
Serge, come and take your passport.
Your name is Bob Nightingale.
Bob Nighting-what?
We use American aliases now.
Cool, right?
Very.
France counts on you, Serge.
He's off to Africa tomorrow.
You know how fond
our President is of the dark continent.
He hunted 3 more elephants last month.
3 elephants?
There are tons.
Armand.
I'll kiss Africa for you and I may go further.
Start with a tie and slacks.
- Slacks? - Pants.
Good one, Hubert.
Very funny.
This is cool.
That Serge is an excellent recruit.
Seems so.
So full of pep.
Dynamism galore.
So talented! So entertaining!
And those eyes... that hair.
Like you 30 years ago.
"OSS 1001" doesn't ring well.
We finished 3-digit code names. Time to start with 4 digits.
We did 800s and 900s?
Sure did! The meter keeps on ticking.
I don't recall 835. Was there one?
834, tall bald fellow.
836, from the South, rolled his r's.
But who was 8357
So, how did your mission go?
Perfectly well.
Soviet comfort combined with Afghan hospitality,
I couldn't leave.
Those damn Commies!
There, here!
Everywhere. They're all over.
Imagine if Mitterrand becomes president.
Communists running France.
I have night sweats, Armand.
No private property, long lines at empty stores.
No water, no electricity.
Russian tanks on the Champs-Elysées.
Money pouring into Switzerland.
Bankruptcy!
Civil war! That's right.
Mitterrand! Who'd vote for his platform?
France elected General de Gaulle.
We'd never do anything so dumb.
May God hear you!
- So when do I leave? - You don't.
Meaning?
I have something better.
Computer science.
It's quite bold, you'll see.
You'll put all our files into huge calculators
that pop them out as records.
Like vinyl record, but floppy.
What's the point?
I don't know yet, but odds are we save space.
Clever.
Excuse me, Armand.
How does this technology concern me?
Hubert, aren't you the best?
If I say "yes", I'd be pretentious.
And "no" would be stupid.
So usher us into the 21st century.
- At your service. - Cool!
Hello.
Get to work, Hubert.
Armand, I...
Here, usually if you send a request,
and you're connected,
you can set up your gismo.
- Gismo? - Machine.
Try in octo. The 16-byte often freezes.
Really? So...
So I'll erase.
No, it's Cobol.
With Unix, if you don't compile, you crash.
Old-timer!
If it doesn't work, there's a surefire solution.
Unplug it
and plug it back in.
Copy that.
Hey, de La Bath.
Yes?
Know what we call a Unix developer
with no root-directory issues?
No.
A guy who never wrote a line of code!
A poser!
- Josy? - Yes, boss?
Get me 117.
You kill me, Rumineau!
Hubert? It's Josy.
Armand wants you.
On my way up.
Hello, de La Bath!
- Hey, Martichou. - Tough mission?
Wait till your gismo crashes.
You sent for me?
What's that on your nose?
Oh yeah.
You leave for Africa.
Nope.
Why not?
I can't. I computerized every agent's file.
Accounting, pay slips... Next is cafeteria inventory.
I'd love to, but I'm booked till the year 2000.
By the way...
this is for you.
- What is it? - Your career.
One day they'll be smaller.
Listen to me, Hubert.
We've lost contact with OSS 1001.
He set foot in Africa two weeks ago
and slipped off the radar.
It seemed inevitable.
Get him out of this jam.
I'm a spy, not a babysitter.
The order comes from very high up.
In that case...
Take over the mission.
It's very delicate. It requires mastery
of politico-strategic stakes in Africa.
Of course.
Hubert...
your take on Africa?
Africans are happy people.
They're nice, like to laugh.
Good dancers.
Alas, they're also careless and unreliable.
They need prodding. Lots of germs there.
Excellent analysis.
Their women wear no panties while cooking.
Our relationship with Africa is precious.
Yes.
They're our friends, our brothers almost.
Also, we operate their diamond mines, oil fields, gas, uranium.
It's sort of France.
Forget that, Hubert.
The golden colonial age is over.
They're independent now.
You had me going!
Follow me to the crisis room.
Independent...
I didn't see it coming.
Good one!
Dear friends...
you are my brothers.
President Kudjo Sangawe Bamba.
My pleasure.
I hope for another victory!
In a month, they hold elections.
They're democratic. Overseen by France.
President Kudjo Sangawe Bamba will win with 84% of the vote.
84%? Hats off.
He is adored.
But things are less rosy than they appear.
Our informers say there is agitation among rebel factions.
FCPA, SPMA,
FLDA,
National Liberation Movement.
Liberation Front.
- Liberation from what? - Democracy Now.
Popular Surge,
and so on.
Same guy each time?
Watch out, Hubert.
Our African friends are oversensitive.
They feel disrespected, disdained.
They see racism everywhere.
Including probably in your humor.
As if... Armand, I...
I know, Hubert. I know you.
But be careful of what you say.
But they all look alike.
- Officially, no. - Copy that.
President Bamba wants our help.
Our discreet help.
Go there and clear this up.
See what the rebels are plotting
and get them all to toe the line.
Bring back Serge and reassure the President.
And for pity's sake, avoid a coup.
We'd need another to reinstate the President.
All these democratic changes cost France a fortune.
Unlimited equipment?
Unlimited equipment.
Your name is Emile Cousin.
As might be expected, you work in oil.
For ELF.
Why Emile Cousin?
3 digits.
- Welcome aboard. - Thank you.
I'm counting on you.
No misunderstandings.
Dexterity, discretion, concentration.
Study the continent's history in depth.
Its new geopolitical alliances.
First time in Africa?
Excuse me?
Business or vacation?
Business.
You'll see, business becomes vacation there.
AFRICA
Emile Cousin!
KUDJO SANGAWE BAMBA AIRPORT
Mr. Cousin!
Leon Nkomo, chief of protocol.
- Welcome to Africa! - Thank you.
Follow me please.
Meanwhile...
Still crazy in love!
Bamba's end is fast approaching.
But I need more weapons.
That's why I'm here.
And to observe this lovely specimen.
You must be some huntress.
I hunt dictators.
When is delivery?
Soon, soon.
Make it fast.
Sources tell me a French spy just arrived.
Those imperialists will do anything
to keep Bamba in power.
Don't worry, Zéphyrine.
Our new supplier is very reliable.
Come!
I'll take care of the Frenchman.
Hello!
How delightful!
Thank you!
President Bamba will receive you at 4.
Perfect.
I'll put on my colonial suit.
White. Light.
My light suit.
Hi there!
Thank you so much!
Wait, wait...
What are you doing?
Carrying your bags.
It's my job.
What are these prejudices?
Give them to me.
Come on...
There you go.
Thank you.
Hello.
- Emile Cousin. - Welcome, Mr. Cousin.
Micheline Pierson, customer service.
Honored to have you here.
Thrilled to have you servicing customers.
If you have the tiniest problem, call. I aim to please.
I think I may have a lot of problems.
Tiny ones and...
less tiny ones.
I'm good with big problems, Mr. Cousin.
Emile.
Micheline.
No, I prefer Emile.
See you soon then.
I forgot.
Did someone named Bob Nightingale check in here?
Nightingale?
Doesn't ring a bell.
No?
Cocky playboy-type always flirting, chatting,
making heavy-handed innuendos with a dumb smile?
Not at all.
Well, I tried.
Problem?
Not yet.
Give them to me.
Here you go, sir.
Nice.
Perfect.
Hold on a sec.
Thanks, sir.
It's I who thank you!
Tell me.
You do this in France?
No, there are far fewer blacks.
And that's a real shame...
Here.
Thanks, sir.
- Welcome to Africa. - You too!
You first.
Above all.
Have a nice day!
Comrade?
This is for you.
PRESIDENTIAL PALACE
Thank you.
Hello, sir.
Gentlemen.
Gentlemen!
Keep it up.
Hello, ma'am. Bravo.
Gentlemen...
I forgot swim trunks.
Mr. Cousin?
His Excellency is ready.
Your Excellency.
Mr. Cousin is here.
Mr. Cousin!
My respects.
My friend!
Mr. Cousin!
My respects!
Mr. Cousin!
What's this imbroglio? Who is Kudjo Sangawe Bamba?
I am!
Sorry for the prank.
As you know, I get many death threats.
These lookalikes come in handy if ever I'm targeted.
You're in safe hands with me here.
Thanks for the welcome rally.
Not discreet but pleasant.
No stopping Africans from showing their love of France.
You know...
I love France.
So do ll.
I studied In Paris.
I can see myself at the Sorbonne,
dancing the jerk in a club at Saint Germain.
And your music!
Annie likes lollipops
Lollies flavored with anise
Naughty girl.
She got lots of lollies!
Between us,
it beats the awful tam-tams you hear all over here.
I'll say!
Mr. President, I think we'll get along very well.
What a relief to speak freely.
The things I heard!
"They're oversensitive"... "Wear kid gloves".
Who "they"?
You.
Blacks.
Your colleague came and didn't even have the decency
to introduce himself to me.
Not the France I love.
Not the France I love either.
Not at all.
On behalf of France, I apologize.
It's very poor conduct.
But it no longer matters because I'm here.
- Cup of tea? - No, thank you.
It's excellent. Flown in from London.
The only English specialties I've tasted are duplicity
and hypocrisy.
I hope Africa finds more favor with you.
Africa does not let love in easily.
Those who don't know her well act clumsily.
Worse: offensively.
What I hear is the voice of friendship,
with the timber of wisdom.
What's that?
No worries. It's a tamed leopard.
A pet dog of sorts.
In a way, but Africa-style.
Wilder. Less docile.
Sir, what can I do for you?
If rebel factions unite,
they'll imperil the democratic, transparent elections
that I'm going to win.
- Mr. Cousin! - Excuse me.
The rebels are Communist dung beetles
who must be exterminated.
Exterminated!
Commie? Their sham knows no borders!
Here, baby.
Mr. Cousin!
If they've joined forces,
bring me their leader!
Count on me.
Léon!
Enough already!
Calm down!
Calm!
To your spot!
Why German?
For training animals.
Flimsy excuse!
Come now, Mr. Cousin.
Léon has been my loyal servant for 25 years.
Idiot.
I heard that.
See you soon, my friend.
Find me the traitor if he exists.
He's scared if he exists.
I'll search nonstop if he exists.
And if he doesn't exist...
he got off good.
My wife.
Zéphyrine.
Emile Cousin.
Madame...
French?
Passionately.
Mr. Cousin is a friend.
Mr. Cousin is a Frenchman.
I'm throwing an Independence Ball here at the palace.
I'd be honored if you came.
Independence, yes...
I heard about that.
Count me in, Madame.
She is of Kwélé descent.
Their women are beautiful but cold.
We never know what's on their mind. All we can do is guess.
Kwélé or not, she's a woman.
There may be nothing on her mind.
Come into my arms, Mr. Cousin.
Sir, duty calls.
Enjoy! All my property is yours!
Thank you.
I wish you luck for the elections.
And... a good score!
Good score!
You have the yellow jersey.
What stage are we at?
Excuse me?
The Tour de France.
The bike race.
I have nothing.
Nothing.
Here you go.
Not all at once.
Here.
Good evening, Emile.
Micheline.
Is your room to your liking?
Got everything you need?
Not anymore.
Oh yes.
It's coming, it's coming.
- Yes? - Yes.
We have plenty of time.
Yes.
All night long, Micheline.
There, it's coming.
It's going to come.
We have time...
This is what you were waiting for.
Yes, Emile.
I'm sorry.
I don't get it.
It doesn't matter.
Don't say it doesn't matter.
As if it didn't matter.
I swear this never happened before.
I've had lots of affairs.
Pairings, intercourse. Galore.
I always planted the flag.
It would be crude to list them.
Can we stop the music?
Excuse me.
No later than last year, in Tangiers.
Soraya.
Sublime Moroccan.
I can still here her begging.
"Don't stop, zarma, zarma, don't stop!"
And Margaret in Boston, a redhead.
Gorgeous nonetheless.
She was on the floor, worn out.
"You kill me, oh la la, you kill me..."
Or Fong, in Seoul, in tears.
"Too much good, too much good! So good!"
"Too much good, too much good!"
It must be the pili-pili.
You're leaving?
It's wiser.
Goodnight, Mr. Cousin.
Goodnight.
Strange idea.
Front desk.
Micheline Pierson, please.
Hold on, please.
This is too much.
What?
Hello.
- How are you? - Fine.
I went to bed very early. And you?
Fine, fine...
Better, better, better... Relaxed.
Relaxed.
There was a huge snake in my bed.
Come now, Mr. Cousin.
I soothed it with a flute.
Dinner tonight?
Forget all that. It was a bad idea.
I understand.
You don't mix work and pleasure.
I do! But where's the pleasure?
I'm going to the pool.
There is no pool.
Yes?
Your name?
Room number?
He was here a minute ago.
Why are you here?
How about you?
I live here.
Sit down.
Now tell me why you speak German.
I told you. It's the language used to tame animals.
I think the German language was used more nefariously.
What were you doing in 19407
Learning to walk.
Learning to march, rather.
- I want an explanation. - What can I say?
Why German? It's a good language for giving orders.
Yes, we noticed in France.
It's a clear, resounding language.
Animals understand the intention.
I have my eyes on you.
One last thing.
Where did you learn German?
High school.
Your teacher's name?
Mr. Bambuto.
"O" Or "e-a-u"?
I'll check.
Bam-bu-to.
Hello, sir!
Come! Come!
No thanks, I'm good.
Try it on, no strings.
With your build, I can tell
you'll look great.
No, nothing beats a bespoke Smalto suit.
I insist.
Look! What did I say?
- Magnificent! - Yes, it's true.
A real Black!
Nice bibelots.
Cute little hippo.
- Useless but cute. - Don't think that.
The hippo is the brute strength that God masters
but man cannot tame.
Really?
It stops you from being manipulated.
It helps you to confront unsettling emotions.
It heals mental turmoil and confusion.
It keeps the family safe.
This thing?
And it's also good for dry, cracked skin.
No thanks, I have hydrating creams.
You touch it, you buy it.
I don't want it, thanks.
Thief!
- Thief! - What?
Thief!
Good people, it's a misunderstanding.
He's a racist and a thief!
I'm no racist. I'm in local garb, look!
- Thief! - Calm down.
It's a misunder...
I'm not a racist!
Careful, if you...
I'm not a racist!
Just in time. Hello, officers.
What are you doing?
It's a mistake.
There's nothing racist about this.
A squabble with a merchant!
Hello.
Everything is fine.
I'm French.
Can you explain why you're here?
I'm talking to you, Serge.
The SDECE is looking for you.
The head of Intelligence is worried!
"Where can Mr. Nightingale be?"
This man's a traitor!
He duped us!
Don't listen to him.
I've never seen him before.
He's a liar!
Change your tone!
Why didn't you meet President Bamba, France's ally,
who needs our help to be elected?
Shut your mouth!
Excuse me, no...
It's not what you think...
You see?
They're shocked! Bamba is adored!
You were forewarned!
I can explain.
Africa's future is beautiful.
Of course.
Obviously!
Stop that!
A misunderstanding!
Thanks for the visit, but...
I won't be taking the apartment.
His Excellency the President apologizes.
I'm sure.
Goodbye.
You're welcome, Serge.
For what?
Nothing much. I just saved your life.
Saved me from what? I was undercover!
So? You can be undercover and polite.
I don't get it.
I infiltrated the rebels, I'm bloody and hungry
but I gained their trust. You ruined it!
Next time, say you infiltrated them.
Undercover or not.
His mission was to find you.
I know.
And so it was a success.
Yes, but...
It can't have been easy.
Armand, I admire him too,
but he really screwed up.
Agents of his caliber have plans.
He should tell me because...
Because?
Because his strategy is beyond me.
Remember how experienced he is.
He may be one step ahead.
Maybe, but all I know is I almost died!
Put him on please.
Hubert... Armand for you.
- Hello, Armand. - So tell me.
It's under control. I found him. That's what matters.
He's tired but he'll get over it.
Just a bad scare!
Yes, I know, he already told me.
He's a beginner. Let's be indulgent.
He can head back to Paris.
Call kindergarden!
No one's coming back. Not you, not Serge. Let me be clear.
You know I operate solo.
You'll do this mission together.
Serge is great. You're my best agent.
Your unlimited equipment
has left.
Good to hear.
But Armand...
Armand...
We announce our arrival in Africa.
We get a welcome rally and boubous in exchange.
You may not enjoy it, but they do.
Your methods may be new, but they don't work.
You just got conclusive proof.
Since we must work together, I'll share my info.
I'm not anti-modernity. But it doesn't work.
Agreed. Let's move forward.
The rebels have united forces to oust Bamba.
Yes.
They're awaiting weapons. A huge shipment.
I just don't know when or how.
If you hadn't outed me...
The facts, Serge. We're wasting time.
Gentlemen?
- Drinks? - A Suze.
We don't have that.
I'm sure that...
And you?
A Tequila Sunrise, please.
What's that?
Tequila, OJ, grenadine.
Everything but the kitchen sink.
A Pernod.
Thank you!
- Nice guy. - No way!
If a weapons sale is going on, one man knows.
His name is Roland Lepervier.
Former mercenary up to no good.
- Shady arms dealer. - My kind of guy.
His hangout is a seamy bar, the Baobab Select.
But the main question is: Who arms the rebels?
I see.
You see?
Wait.
Wait...
Russians held you hostage in Afghanistan.
Not for long.
In exchange for your life, they wanted weapons.
And President Bamba told you...
Thank you!
He told you the rebels were communists.
That's it.
Wait but... the connection is obvious.
Yep.
- Limpid. - Very.
It's as clear as...
Spring water.
You knew this, Hubert?
You knew it!
Unbelieve... Of course!
That's why you sprung me from jail.
You got it.
I get it!
Now I get it!
I get your strategy! The best! The Legend!
In flesh and blood!
Unbelievable. I'm ashamed.
I still have so much to learn.
You certainly do.
Come on.
Let's find this Lepervier.
Yes.
You don't want to rest up?
Why?
What's more,
isn't Lepervier a night owl?
Yes!
Let go of me. Go shower.
- And shave. - Of course.
Evening.
Good evening.
- Nice job! - Not bad, huh?
Evening.
Good evening.
Thanks, Miss.
The Baobab Select is an homo spot?
Meaning?
We're looking for a mercenary, not a cutie-pie.
I have nothing to teach you,
but I've noticed women today like men who own their feminine side.
Good luck explaining that to Africans.
Thank you.
- After you. - I prefer.
You're leaving.
Micheline.
Mr. Cousin.
Micheline Pierson. Customer Service agent.
Pleasure... Bob Nightingale.
It's you!
I pictured you differently.
You have style, Mr. Nightingale.
Yes but what kind?
Shall I reserve a table?
- It'd be... - Impossible.
Very cool. Why not?
We're dining out tonight.
But...
- Goodbye. - See you soon.
Maybe we can...
We're looking for a guy named Lepervier.
Lepervier? He's over there.
- Is that him? - Yes.
Thanks.
Go ahead. I have to make a call.
A lead?
Found a guy named Bambuto.
- Oh! - Yes, with an "O".
Micheline Pierson, please.
Lepervier?
Roland Lepervier?
Depends. Who are you?
Bob Nightingale. Exec at ELF.
And I run the Red Cross.
What do you want?
Just to talk.
I got nothing to say.
Yes.
Micheline? It's Emile.
Emile?
Emile Cousin.
I'm calling because
I'll probably eat at the hotel tonight.
With your friend?
No, no... First, he's not my friend.
He has other plans.
And by "other" I mean...
radically other.
May I sit down?
Seat's taken.
Hopefully it'll free up soon.
I'm in luck!
So tell me.
Rumor has it you know what goes down here.
Fuck rumors. Now beat it.
Get lost!
He's sweet but very frail.
Very fragile... cowardly even. Those people often are.
Who supplies the rebels?
You selling? Buying? No... so fuck off.
He may not look it but...
appearances are deceiving.
Sorry, I'd love to have, but my evening is booked.
Well, that's a pity.
If ever you wiggle free, I won't be far.
So, see you later. "Who knows", as they say.
Right. Good evening.
Goodbye.
Excuse me.
Not a word. Hard nut to crack.
Depends on your nutcrackers, Serge.
Let's tail them before they vanish.
You okay?
Yes.
Let's go, yeah...
- Here. - I'm good.
I want you to focus, Serge.
Sure.
Look for a crate marked "Emile Cousin".
My equipment.
What equipment?
Unlimited.
Copy that.
And so we meet again.
My little finger tells me Russia's behind this.
Yeah, we said so before.
No, we didn't say that. I just figured it out.
No. It's what we said.
If the rebels are communists, it's obvious.
I don't see the connection.
You must!
Russians tried trading you for weapons for the rebels.
So France gets blamed,
not the USSR. Like the US in Afghanistan.
Russian arms for the rebels.
You escaped, so they sent Russian arms.
I think I told you all that.
It's good to speak but listen too.
Learn to listen.
Well...
There's the proof.
It'll take them hours to unload all that.
Yes.
Let's give them a hand.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
What?
You're the apprentice here.
I know the answers to my questions.
No, I'm not an appren...
No big deal.
Tailing them won't work.
We'll likely get caught.
What's that?
Brand new. Radio-tracking device.
It'll show us their whereabouts.
Why don't I have one?
It's brand new.
See, they're still there.
Thanks to this device, we'll know where the crates are.
Understand?
Absolutely.
Wonderful utensil.
- What does this do? - It messes it up.
- Who makes it? - Transmi-Tel.
Transmi-Tel.
I'll write that down...
Why don't I have one?
- Transmi-Tel is located... - Hubert?
They're near Meudon.
Chaville or Meudon? Transmi-Tel...
I'll ask.
Hubert, where did you find these?
A Black suspect, more or less Nazi.
Help yourself.
Hubert, look.
They were taken in a Muscovite studio.
Muscovite. From Moscow.
I knew it.
Who speaks German for pleasure?
See you first thing tomorrow.
My room is much bigger.
All right.
Goodnight.
Come on, guys, hurry up!
Ladies...
Mr. Cousin.
What's this mess?
Pleasure.
Emile.
Sleep well?
Like a baby. And you?
Like a man.
I'll leave you.
Have a good day.
So, did the crates move?
A lot more than crates moved.
Damn...
The mission, please.
Serge.
Rehydrated.
So.
Yes, they were moved.
Give me the coordinates.
Micheline was very charmed by my feminine side.
She's hooked.
The coordinates, please.
Latitude...
69.
Just kidding. 3,97. Longitude 11.52.
We're here. They're there.
In the bush. Let's get moving.
It's full of wild animals.
Every dangerous species,
no matter how deadly, has its predator.
I'm their predator.
And when predators meet...
Room 33 again. Bottled water, please.
Thanks a lot.
I'll meet you downstairs.
- Have a nice day! - Thanks. All good?
Today we kill zebras!
You good?
Let's go, please.
Look, giraffes!
Yes, I saw.
It's gorgeous!
What a clumsy critter.
Serge!
- You must be hot. - I'm fine!
Straight ahead.
Please.
According to this, we're not far.
Where did they hide those crates?
There's nothing here.
It's deserted.
But pretty.
Hubert... rebels!
Into the jeep!
What a coward!
I thought we were friends.
My Sony Walkman.
Serge!
- One left. - Me too.
- Touché. - I got him.
Now run!
Wait!
What's wrong?
You okay?
Excellent!
The crates...
What about them?
This way I think.
Not at all. We have to go east.
The tracker's sure. Let's go.
No!
They're hidden here.
I'll check but we should keep running.
No!
I'll go look.
Why do you think they're here?
- Feeling? - Yes.
All right.
Hubert, are you okay?
You're out of bullets.
Yes... but they don't know that.
Enough already!
Time for you to go.
Tonic stress, Hubert!
Time for you to go!
I don't want to see you again!
Go to the savannah for food.
About time.
Written and spoken German.
Indispensable for all missions.
It's not recommended to be eaten between meals.
Coming?
He played dumb. What a liar, that Lepervier.
Lepervier?
I can't make out a thing.
Take mine. Long focus with zoom.
Yes, it's better.
I've seen that guy before.
It's Lepervier!
Roland... Roland Lepervier.
I need to talk to you!
It's time.
Why don't I have this?
I waited all night!
It's weapons all right!
Hundreds of them.
Explosives.
Serge.
We'll blow it all up.
Best way to save democracy.
Why is my equipment here?
- Serge. - Mission aborted.
What's going on?
You do the sides.
Blow up a Renault Gordini?
What's this?
Unlimited material.
Straight-four engine.
1.565 cubic centimeters.
Brazenly French.
Pretty mistress, right?
A transmitter.
My equipment.
We'll build a time bomb.
How?
Relax, I'm well equipped.
A portable computer.
Don't have one, do you?
No.
So if I invert...
Hands off my car.
I program the transmitter as receiver
and the tracker as emitter...
They put it in Cobol.
Hands off, I said.
We're going to play Cobol and Indians!
What?
You can't understand.
That should fit like Dad in Mom.
There!
What did I tell you? Bravo!
Why did it block?
You better hurry!
They're coming, Hubert!
They're coming!
It's not working!
Make it fast.
Hubert!
It's stuck.
It's not working.
If it doesn't work,
a surefire solution. Unplug and plug it back in.
Thanks, Jean-Loup.
Come on.
Hubert.
And we're off.
What's this crap?
Oh no.
Not bad!
Not bad.
Long live democracy!
A little polish.
Finally, Hubert. Mission accomplished.
Mission accomplished once I give my report to President Bamba.
Of course.
The weapons were destroyed, the putsch avoided.
We did good work.
Yes, it's true. You were a good assistant.
How do we get back to the capital?
Let's hurry. I'm seeing Micheline tonight.
Like everyone.
Step back. Nasty critters in that water.
You'll excite them with your rocks.
We left Lepervier's camp,
took this route. So we're here.
No, that's Angola.
No, we're here.
That's Congo.
Once again, don't go near the water!
Once again, blah-blah-blah!
Shower! Shave! Listen! Don't dress like a cutie.
Fuck off!
I used to admire you.
I respected you.
But I'm sick of you telling me where to go, what to do and with whom.
I'm not your apprentice, not your assistant,
not your slave, not your friend.
I may have loved that before, but now, no way!
I don't see you as a legend anymore.
I see a small, outdated man, with a small car full of prejudices,
and a big, brainless head.
That's what I see.
I'm fed up! I'm fed up
with your platitudes, your reasoning,
your "I think I said all that."
You said nothing interesting. I even wonder
if you ever use your head!
All I've heard until now is
a slew of repulsive racist and homophobic crap
which truly obsesses you!
And that idiotic laugh!
And your... so tacky!
"I'm their predator"... no, you're not!
You're no one's predator, especially not Micheline's!
Don't sulk. I know. Who doesn't?
I may not be OSS 117,
I may not be "The Legend", agent number one,
but I still have a future. I have time and I...
There you go.
What did I tell you?
So...
No surprise we need 4-digit IDs now.
I'll do that.
I better fill the tank.
Well, well...
you, here.
The world is topsy-turvy.
You escaped once.
That was your big snake in my bed.
One escape too many!
No, two.
The big snake and in the mountains. So twice.
But you won't escape this time!
Stop!
This enemy of the people must die.
It's my people. I'm big enough to decide who dies.
Without Soviet arms, it won't be your revolution.
I'll inform my superiors.
Your superior here is me. Get out.
Three times.
To whom do I owe the honor? The FCPA?
PSMDLA?
SPMA?
FNSEA?
All of the above.
We all joined forces.
The revolution is underway.
You forget one small thing.
President Bamba will win with 84% of the vote.
Rigged elections!
Zéphyrine? You!
Bamba is an ignominious dictator!
A blood-thirsty tyrant!
Ma'am, he's your husband!
My husband?
A forced marriage!
To buy off the Bakwélé.
You're Kwélé and Bakwélé?
"Bakwélé" is the plural.
The plural...
14 ethnic groups comprise this country.
Each with its own language, traditions and land.
Whose idea was it to put 14 groups in one country?
Who started this mess”?
You... the French!
Must be a good reason.
A good reason?
This is exactly why I jailed you.
To see the reality of our French-backed regime.
Come with me.
Look at everyone.
They rebel against Bamba who took everything from them.
And what does France do?
It protects you.
France protects African countries.
It cherishes them... like a friend, a kid brother.
Depriving France of Africa is to amputate its leg.
Depriving France of Africa is...
to kill its joy.
To stop it from dancing.
Next comes "I have black friends"?
No.
Not one.
But I'd like to. I'd love to.
I just never had the chance.
Because I'm not at all...
I have a friend who stutters.
Who used to stutter.
Because stuttering can be cured, whereas bl...
Blind. My blind buddy...
never got cured either.
Hard to speak with the ruckus of tam-tams.
But what a lovely ruckus!
Know what the Soviets get for helping us?
A lease on our oil fields.
And they pay us much more than France.
You don't want gas, electricity?
We have none of that.
That's why I'm taking control.
You have nothing, so you revolt
to have even more nothing.
Your logic escapes me.
Your little story is charming, but...
there's a snag... and a serious snag at that.
You're a woman.
A woman president...
Is it normal to be jailed for the slightest criticism?
Tortured?
You... you have your car.
It takes you wherever you want.
Yes?
You're free.
Africans are so shackled they travel only in their heads.
Is it normal we can't have our own cars?
No, on that I agree.
Yeah.
So think it over.
Come here.
I've been watching you for a while.
You're talented.
Good legwork.
Beware of him.
No.
This man can become our ally.
You know the Black Guard?
Marius Trésor?
No?
Well, he's Black, like you.
Maybe even more so.
And yet now, he plays with a real soccer ball.
On a real field, in a real country.
French National Team.
He's even team captain, can you believe it?
So there's always hope.
But to make it, you need to work a lot.
It's not a one-way street.
France...
must be deserved.
Go on, practice your juggling.
What were you discussing?
His future.
You believe in our future?
There's potential.
You need good teammates.
So you know Bamba's not up to it.
For sure, he's way too old.
So we agree.
You know, kiddo, fighting prejudice is my combat.
Well...
I have a long drive.
And it's elephant-mating season. It'll be hectic.
You forget you're my prisoner.
Women always like it a little rough.
Some things never change.
Some things never existed.
I'm a free woman.
I kiss you because I decided to.
We're in Africa. Your home, your call.
Your ethnic group again?
Kwéle.
Oh yes.
Bakwélé in the plural.
And you?
I'm Berry.
You all right, Emile?
Yes.
Emile?
Emile, are you okay?
I'm ready.
Vive la revolution.
You Africans are great at making things happy and colorful.
Even Marxism.
What they say is true.
Rhythm pulses through your veins.
You can really get your groove on!
How lively, taut. How wild and bestial.
You're one with nature.
This color is so beautiful. Look at this.
Why did we bother you with clothing?
Why did we bother you at all?
You were happy dancing naked in the wild.
Hungry? You ate a giraffe. Or a neighbor.
You made love whenever. Even in front of others.
Far cry from our strict rules:
set the table, eat hot, get married.
Why did we come bother you?
My God.
I see why you feel disrespected.
Thanks to you, I've had a reality check.
Did France really get everything right in Africa?
What did I say? What did I do?
I planted the flag!
Know what you are? An ass!
Me?
We need arms to eliminate your kind.
Too bad. I just blew them up.
- I'll ask Lepervier. - Blown up too.
All you understand is domination and submission.
Tomorrow I'll deliver you to Kazimir.
Kazimir?
Our Soviet contact.
Oh, Sugar Tongs.
His name's Kazimir?
Have a nice evening. It's your last.
Oh hello.
Africa's future is utterly charming.
Savages!
Got a problem with my car?
No!
No way!
Proshchay, Sugar Tongs!
Four times now!
When the lollypop
Flavored with anise
Slides down Annie's throat
She is in paradise
Yes, Josy?
Hubert on line 3. Top priority.
Thank you.
Hubert! So how is Africa?
Better, I think.
Good.
The rebels joined forces.
They needed the weapons, now neutralized.
- Bravo. - Thanks.
And the sun here is glorious.
I forgot. There's bad news too. Concerning 1001.
Actually, he's dead.
No! How did it happen?
A lapse of attention.
You know, on missions like this,
mistakes cost you your life.
My God, what a tragedy.
I was very fond of him.
He admired you so.
He was so talented, so charming.
Maybe, but 30 years ago, I was fighting Egyptian extremists.
Not skimming stones.
Tell me.
Did he suffer?
Hubert?
I meant to tell you.
I slept with another woman.
Bravo, Emile. I'm thrilled for you.
Who's he?
I'll inform his parents.
Indeed.
What a loss.
I have to go.
We can discuss Serge but I have my mission.
I'll call you back.
- Tell the President I'm here. - Yes, sir.
Your cause is just. I understand now.
Really?
Yes, I've thought it over.
A great deal.
Your cause is just, noble, generous.
I'll defend it.
And I have a plan.
I'll speak with Bamba.
He won't listen.
Yes!
Coming from me, it'll go down better.
Trust me.
Mr. Cousin.
Mr. President.
I see you're having fun.
A little stretch after a long ride.
You deserve it.
I heard about your exploits.
Hats off to you!
I was told you wanted to speak.
Proof the rebels joined forces and allied with the USSR.
Thank you, my friend.
Look at this.
Their offer is far better than France's.
You couldn't betray France.
I'm just keeping abreast.
You know, Africans are like big children.
Distasteful cliché.
What if it's an African who says it?
That's true.
What do children do when feeling abandoned and unloved?
- Drink? - Come now.
Tell me. I'm no child expert.
They act silly. So we show more interest in them.
So we show our love.
Tell your president
I need him to take me on his lap
and spoon-feed me applesauce.
Copy that.
Mr. President,
may I share a dream with you?
Isn't it time for a more open republic?
Excuse me?
Open to other ideas?
No, I think not.
Don't you think wealth should be distributed?
No.
I understand, but think.
Everyone gets a fair shake.
You and the people.
You share, they share...
As equals.
They have nothing, but...
millions of nothings add up to something.
And from this something, there will be something for you.
You have a lot.
"A lot" divided by a lot leaves something.
If you add those two somethings...
you get more than nothing.
More than nothing isn't much,
but it's so much more fair.
It's...
the right side of history.
Mr. President.
No.
Really?
People here don't need much to be happy.
We're waiting for you.
He doesn't want to.
- Doesn't want to what? - Nothing.
What?
You're a politician now?
I don't know what he meant.
Go be pretty and shut up.
It's what you do best.
Big fat head like a rhino!
Mind your tone!
Please, Mr. Cousin.
You know who she is?
This little woman reunited all the rebel forces!
Keep quiet.
There are no more weapons.
Once a Kwélé, always a Kwélé.
You'll know the fate of traitors.
Prison. Defeat.
Blood!
Shut your mouth!
- Whore! - Bastard!
Stupid fool!
Please, people will hear.
Léon!
Imprison her!
The only order you'll give me
is to finish you off!
How dare you?
Obey!
The future of Africa is beautiful!
Léon, a felon. Knew it.
Attack!
Eat him!
Catch!
German to obey, French to seduce.
Drop it, Bamba. Don't even try.
Traitor.
What did you do?
Bitch!
Zéphyrine!
Filthy Kwélé!
Zéphyrine!
Enough!
Let me kill that pig.
You killed three of him already.
That pig is a friend of France.
Accept friends' faults or end up friendless.
So please, spare the pig.
Please stop calling me "the pig".
Sorry, sir, I'm seeing to your wife. It's under control.
Guards!
Mission accomplished.
You betrayed me.
You go too far. This rebellion stuff...
Women need hobbies. There are hobbies and hobbies.
Thank you. Good work.
Haul her away!
He'll torture me.
Torture... big words already.
Why do women communicate via hysteria?
He wouldn't torture his wife.
You don't know him.
Nor do you. He may not be the real Bamba.
Maybe he's a better husband.
There you go.
My God...
What a day...
Promise to treat her well.
She will be.
I have your word?
You have my word.
You won't let France down?
Never would I let France down.
Good.
I leave with at peace, my duty fulfilled.
Some personality!
Now that's a real woman!
"He'll torture me!"
Hubert!
De La Bath?
Hubert?
Gestapo!
- Hello, Hubert. - Ledentu...
Souvenir of Africa.
Thank you!
It's so cute.
It's more than that.
It does you lots of good.
For dry, cracked skin.
Is the boss in?
Yes.
- Hello, Armand. - Hello, Hubert.
Your mission was a total success.
President Sangawe Bamba is happy.
And a happy Africa means a prosperous France.
Cool.
Democracy is tough work with all these coups.
It's not over yet.
The opposition leader escaped last night.
No!
What a woman.
The Russians smuggled her out.
This Communist nightmare
will never end.
Yeah and worse, they damage cars.
You go to the USSR tomorrow.
No problem.
We can't rid France of them, so I'll attack at the root.
I'm counting on you.
Bring me back that little rebel.
And save the Free World.
Consider it done.
Oh, I forgot.
President Bamba sent this for President Giscard d'Estaing.
No.
It's kind of him, but a bad idea.
I'll sequestrate them.
Go on, Hubert.
Finish this mission.
In honor of OSS 1001. What a loss, my God.
Chin up, Armand.
There'll be an OSS 1002, then 1003.
A 1004 probably.
1005, who knows?
But OSS 117 will always be around.
FROM AFRICA WITH LOVE
Subtitles: Andrew Litvack
Subtitling: ECLAIR V&A