1 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:14,807 "Sincerely, Hadassah." 2 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,180 Send. Mmm. 3 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:19,556 - Send, send, send, send, send, send... - This just arrived for you. 4 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,021 Hope it's not full of anthrax. 5 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,189 This is for television advertising. 6 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,329 It's a really big, essential push. 7 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,088 I need you. Now. 8 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,880 Excuse me, gentlemen. 9 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,835 I shall return momentarily. 10 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,891 Listen, you and I need to have a little one-on-one seminar 11 00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,494 about barging into important meetings. 12 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,519 - Those guys were about to drop two mil... - Look, 13 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,773 you and I are going through a rough patch, personally, 14 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,605 but I think we're both big enough not to let it stand in the way. 15 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,900 Look what just arrived in the mail. 16 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:16,082 Oh... Hadassah. 17 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,829 Let me run with it, please? 18 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:18,791 Actually, 19 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,500 I'm not asking. We're doing it. 20 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,960 We're up 35 points. 21 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,210 - We've won. - No, no, no. 22 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,086 We win if I run with this. 23 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,709 It's the final nail in his coffin. 24 00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:30,471 - You really wanna do this? - Mm-hmm. 25 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,302 Payton's a kid. 26 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,013 You're not satisfied beating him? You wanna ruin his life? 27 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,425 Yes. I think it sends the right kind of message: 28 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,974 "Dede Standish plays hardball no matter what, 29 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,478 and she doesn't go easy on insolent, rich little punks 30 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,190 who never should've run against her." 31 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,234 Sherry, get me Richard Pell from the Post. 32 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,935 Do it yourself. 33 00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:50,685 Fine! I'll call him. 34 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:51,777 I hate her. 35 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:53,907 We're destroying him. 36 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,494 You'll thank me later. 37 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,380 Hello? 38 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,165 Are you fucking kidding me? 39 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,091 Payton 40 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,803 why do you hate Native Americans? 41 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,022 I'm just saying what everyone is thinking. 42 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,848 The question you're gonna be hearing 43 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,934 at every campaign event for the foreseeable future. 44 00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,187 I was six years old. 45 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,957 This is information that would've been wise to tell your staff about. 46 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,821 That I dressed up for Halloween when I was six? 47 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,030 That's my office. 48 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,199 - It's cultural appropriation. - It was a different time, okay? 49 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,739 The idea didn't even exist in the mainstream ten years ago. 50 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,636 Can't we just say he was dressed as one of the Village People? 51 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,660 The yearbook caption says he's Geronimo. 52 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,247 Payton, you're gonna have to do a public mea culpa. 53 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,171 Skye, as Payton's friend, 54 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,923 I think you should stand by his side on that stage. 55 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,304 You know his heart. He doesn't see black or white, 56 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,880 or rich or poor. He just sees 57 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:19,008 - voters. - She's not a prop. 58 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,347 Three years ago, I would have Keyser Söze-ed 59 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,231 every one of you for suggesting this, 60 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,598 but adulthood makes you pragmatic. 61 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,485 We probably aren't gonna win this election now. 62 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,732 But if we wanna keep having a chance, 63 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,316 then Payton has to get past this. 64 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,611 And Alice is right. If he stands up there alone 65 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:39,985 in a colorful Prada suit 66 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,611 like a big bag of Wonder Bread, 67 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,528 then his white ass is toast. 68 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,874 I'll be there by your side. 69 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,481 But you gotta understand something. 70 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,126 All of you do. 71 00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,670 Cultural appropriation 72 00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:00,505 is when members of a dominant group 73 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,591 exploits the culture of less privileged groups. 74 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,347 You call it borrowing, we call it stealing. 75 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,024 So, yes, I'm gonna get pissed off 76 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,600 when some basic blonde Becky on a CW show 77 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,186 about glamorous vampires 78 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,731 puts her hair in cornrows because it's "fashionable." 79 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:20,486 There is a thin line between appreciation and appropriation, 80 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,030 and you've... you've crossed it, Payton. 81 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,253 Thank... Thank you for that, Skye. 82 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,173 You're welcome. 83 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,643 And in return for me taking you to school... 84 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:49,138 You're gonna commit to going into the neighborhoods you don't usually canvas 85 00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,143 and register young voters of color with me. 86 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,765 - You got it? - It'd be my pleasure. 87 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,308 All right. 88 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,315 - Now let's go clean up that mess you made. - Mm-hmm. Yes. 89 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,281 Yes, yes. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. 90 00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:11,082 Thank you all for coming. 91 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,245 When I was six years old... 92 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,713 I made a terrible mistake. 93 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,963 I chose to go for Halloween as Geronimo, 94 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,222 that noble native chief, 95 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,140 a freedom fighter who gave his life 96 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,549 in the battle against oppression and tyranny. 97 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:31,218 Now, while my intention was to show my first-grade class 98 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:34,017 how much I admired Geronimo as a historical icon, 99 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,902 I realize now that it was deeply, deeply offensive, 100 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:42,236 not just to the Native American community but to all people in this country 101 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,318 who strive for a multicultural society. 102 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,914 The temptation might be to say, "What's the big deal?" 103 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,909 He was six years old. He didn't know any better. 104 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,081 "He was still a bed-wetter." But... 105 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:54,288 I'm sorry, that is not good enough for me. 106 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,794 I should have known better. 107 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,214 I faltered, and I failed. 108 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,995 And for that, I offer my sincerest apologies 109 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,878 to you, the voter, and to every single Native American 110 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,256 across this great land. 111 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:10,601 That I could hurt you or make you feel less than, 112 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,482 that the clothing of the Bedonkohe band of the noble Apache 113 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,639 could be worn as a costume, 114 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,311 for this, I truly apologize. 115 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,649 And it's my solemn promise to you today, 116 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,280 I will do better. 117 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,820 Thank you all for your time. 118 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,161 Mmm. 119 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,424 Should we get Chinese? 120 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,264 First, I have a point of order. 121 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,893 This isn't working for me. 122 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,224 This is about orgasm equality? 123 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,869 Because really, it's not Astrid's fault that she's multi-orgasmic. 124 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,153 My sexual satisfaction is not the issue. 125 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,154 You're both wonderful. 126 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:05,693 But I've noticed that you're giving Astrid more attention than me lately. 127 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:10,950 That's not true, is it? 128 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,469 Honestly, when it all gets going, I can't even tell who's who. 129 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,163 Payton has soft hands like a woman. 130 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:22,212 It's subtle but... noticeable, and trending in the wrong direction. 131 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:26,264 I see where this could be headed, and I want to bring attention to it 132 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,379 before resentment sets in. 133 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:29,925 Hey... 134 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,507 I'm so sorry, Alice. 135 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,305 I will balance things out from now on. 136 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:38,233 See? He's sorry, so let's not mess with it. 137 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,476 We're all having fun. 138 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,399 So, egg rolls? 139 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,651 I agree. 140 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:50,485 - Thank you for listening to me about this. - Mm-hmm. 141 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,411 I know that was a hard conversation. 142 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,196 I could see a way to get past this, but... 143 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,459 I have conditions. 144 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,039 All right, let's hear them. 145 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,463 I want all of us to rewatch Gilmore Girls together. 146 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,586 We need to all chip in to buy higher thread-count sheets 147 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:07,591 for this bed. 148 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,722 And cuddle time goes from six minutes to twelve. 149 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,930 I've never actually seen Gilmore Girls, so that's fine with me. 150 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,314 And I have seen it, but I'll gladly rewatch. 151 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,521 What do you say we start those 12 cuddle minutes right now? 152 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,364 Okay. 153 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,450 Okay. We are in the homestretch, 154 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,216 and I think it's pretty clear that climate 155 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,807 is the animating issue for our campaign, 156 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,591 and it's what voters need to be prioritizing, 157 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,044 even if they don't know it. 158 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,128 So, I want a climate event every day this week. 159 00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:50,763 Let's go ahead and start brainstorming 160 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:51,880 what those could be. 161 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,796 Let's see. Um... 162 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,802 Okay. Bad pitch. 163 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,109 We get 100 people dressed like polar bears. 164 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,179 We all lay down on the steps at City Hall. We moan, 165 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,268 and we pretend to die from lack-of-salmon hunger. 166 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:06,976 I'm writing it down. 167 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,492 - Did you get that? - Yeah. 168 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,874 Emerson College poll came out. 169 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,868 It has you down 29 points. 170 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,583 That means the speech worked. We've stabilized. 171 00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:23,713 Yeah, but, Payton... 172 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:26,708 I'm gonna lose. 173 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:29,999 I know. 174 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,715 I know. 175 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,390 Look, this hurts, okay? I really can't tell you. 176 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,727 I can't tell you how much this hurts, and I didn't expect 177 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:46,308 that this is the way that all of this was gonna end, 178 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,646 but, 179 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,319 but I've known all along that... That there was probably no way 180 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,780 for me to win this. 181 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,653 You know? 182 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,779 We all knew what this was going in. 183 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,872 We were crazy... to think we could pull this off. 184 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,373 And we did not, 185 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,580 and that's fine. 186 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,921 Because we were noble friends, together again. 187 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,094 And we believed in something. 188 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,009 A few years ago, 189 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,597 I mean, if we're being honest, probably a few days ago, 190 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,595 I would've been pulling out all my hair 191 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,977 and chucking chairs through the windows. 192 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:33,108 But I guess I've changed. I'm very proud of what we did here. 193 00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,028 I stayed true to who I was, 194 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,531 and I ran the campaign that I wanted to run. 195 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,945 Who do you think sent the picture to Dede's campaign? 196 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,161 I don't know. 197 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,829 But I choose to live in today and what we do know. 198 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,536 So, from this point forward, 199 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:56,014 ha, no matter how much we... lose by, 200 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,220 I want us focused on the next campaign, 201 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,680 when, hopefully, time heals all wounds, and... 202 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,138 I am 203 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:04,764 uncanceled. 204 00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:08,063 Now, I don't know what that is yet, and, 205 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,372 you know, a part of me doesn't really care, to be honest, 206 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,146 because as long as I keep fighting 207 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,779 for the issues that I believe in 208 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:18,237 and I do it in a way that other people can believe in too, 209 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,113 then 210 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,160 the campaign will reveal itself. 211 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,421 - It's so good to see you. - Hi, Andrew. Don't get up. 212 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,551 Thank you so much for doing this. 213 00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,842 I've been dreaming about this for a long time. 214 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,136 Yes, Payton did say that. 215 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:46,350 Also, you text me that... a lot. 216 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:51,272 Sorry about that, but, you know, I love you, Infinity, 217 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:54,693 and love is a... a many-splendored thing. 218 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,902 - Mm-hmm. - It can drive you a little bit crazy. 219 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,067 It can, can't it? 220 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,414 Really glad that you brought that up, 221 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,871 um, because this is crazy. 222 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,701 Yeah, and it's not romantic crazy, 223 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,407 it's just crazy-crazy, 224 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,498 and I'm respecting you enough as a human being 225 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,673 to tell you this in person, 226 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,271 and then this will be the last time I communicate with you again 227 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,898 - for the rest of my life, okay? - Wait... 228 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,842 Not finished. When you text a girl you love her, 229 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,894 you should think, "Is this a normal thing to say to somebody 230 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,598 who I don't ever see in person?" 231 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,678 And when that person texts you back, 232 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:30,234 "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested," that should really be the end of it. 233 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,689 It's also quite inappropriate 234 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,969 for Payton to have set this meeting up, don't you think? 235 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:37,361 Like, I don't know, a date with me as payment 236 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,275 for some freelance campaign work? 237 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,741 - No. - I do not care 238 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,701 what the rigors of an election may be. 239 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,411 This is extremely upsetting, 240 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,852 - and I told him so. - Hi. 241 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,664 - Would you two like to see a wine list? - No, I... Nope. Nope. No wine, no food. 242 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,667 Thank you. 243 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,288 Look, I have had enough weird, toxic, 244 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:58,706 borderline-abusive-slash-actually-abusive male behavior in my life, Andrew. 245 00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,796 I dated Ricardo. 246 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,795 So you, my friend, are canceled. 247 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:06,175 See you never again. 248 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,469 - Ever. - Infinity, wait. Don't... 249 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:19,225 It never ceases to amaze how good it feels to say no to things. 250 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,489 I'm doing it whenever I can now, 251 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,027 canceling my bad habits. 252 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,412 And I can honestly say 253 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,030 I feel like a new person. 254 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:28,868 It started a year ago. 255 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,831 I was in Beijing on my book tour, 256 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,410 and I looked out at the city, 257 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:34,996 and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. 258 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,832 The air was toxic. 259 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,957 The exhaust from five million cars, 260 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,674 coal plants belching fumes 24 hours a day... 261 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:49,467 This planet is the only place in the universe that we can call home, 262 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,265 and we are trashing it. 263 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,063 In the last 70 years, 264 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,855 we have generated eight billion tons of plastic, 265 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,227 and it doesn't go anywhere. 266 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,821 What can I do? 267 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,862 What can any of us do? 268 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:06,913 Our future is being dictated 269 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,869 by these enormous global forces that no one person can control. 270 00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,251 The problem is just too massive. 271 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,079 And then I noticed something. 272 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,633 In the three days that I was in Beijing, 273 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:22,879 I generated three trash bags full of waste. 274 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,474 The problem didn't exist outside of me. 275 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,800 I was part of it. 276 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,261 At that moment, 277 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,638 I decided 278 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,929 that for one year, I was gonna live a life of zero waste. 279 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,441 Overnight, I felt like a new person. 280 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,898 If it came in a package, 281 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:43,691 I didn't buy it. 282 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,359 I carried a tote bag with a couple of jars, 283 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:48,614 a reusable coffee cup, 284 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,277 - a metal straw. - Yay. 285 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:54,911 Thank you. 286 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,405 I brought my own bags. 287 00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,752 Any bottles at home, I reused. 288 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,250 I switched from tampons to a menstrual cup, 289 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,007 which I actually like way better now. 290 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,089 Huh. 291 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,376 Hey-yay! 292 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:08,466 Hi. 293 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:11,050 Oh, I also got a worm farm in my kitchen, which is so fun. 294 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,936 You'd think it'd smell, but it doesn't at all. 295 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,013 Bye, you guys. 296 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:17,142 I even started a compost group at my local park. 297 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,020 And by the end of the year... 298 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:26,742 All the waste that I'd generated fit into a single Mason jar. 299 00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:32,073 And this is not to say that I'm some sort of hero. 300 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,157 That's the whole point. I am not. 301 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:38,120 I am just one person doing something that we all can do. 302 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,285 Real change in this city 303 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,584 and in this country happens when we look at ourselves 304 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,708 and ask what we can do. 305 00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,629 And for me, 306 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:51,505 going zero waste was literally the most fulfilling thing I've ever done 307 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:52,473 in my entire life. 308 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,643 I went from feeling worried 309 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,562 and... and afraid for our future 310 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,770 to feeling hopeful for where our country is headed. 311 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,061 But I promise you, 312 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,312 the best thing 313 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,818 that each and every one of us here today can do 314 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,692 is register to vote. 315 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,451 And when we go to the voting booth on November 5th, 316 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,990 we can cast our vote for Payton Hobart. 317 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:17,333 Let us help him enact the kind of generational change 318 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,411 that this planet needs. 319 00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:21,037 This is an emergency. 320 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,077 But help is on the way. 321 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,587 Ladies and gentlemen, my dear friend Payton Hobart! 322 00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,667 - She's good. - I know, right? 323 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,658 Thank you so much, everyone, and thank you to Infinity. 324 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:39,772 Such a huge inspiration. 325 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,619 - Thank you. - I gotta tell you, we've counted, 326 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:44,404 and there are 98 people in this room who have registered to vote today 327 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,457 - for the first time. - Wow! 328 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,481 Can we see a show of hands of who those people are? 329 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,864 - Well, that deserves a round of applause. - Yay! Amazing! 330 00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:52,033 - Congratulations, everyone. - Amazing! 331 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:55,453 Thank you, guys, for doing this little follow-up. 332 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,867 Payton, 333 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,366 I believe in this campaign. 334 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:03,504 I mean, I think you have a real, unique opportunity 335 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,092 to inspire the voters that we're gonna need 336 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:09,048 if we're gonna have any shot at saving this planet. 337 00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:12,419 Yes, exactly. Thank you, and we... We so appreciate your support. 338 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,348 - It means the world to... - But I have to say, 339 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,427 at that event, I saw you both engage in behavior 340 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,143 that I found very disturbing 341 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,233 and will need to be addressed if you want my support to continue. 342 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,563 Payton, I saw you take your suit jacket out of a plastic dry cleaning bag 343 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,608 and put it and the hanger right in the trash. 344 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,237 That... That's it? 345 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,659 Oh, my God. Yes, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. That was... That was bad. 346 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:42,122 And I presume you didn't even bother to take it to an eco-friendly dry cleaner? 347 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,874 Oh, you... you know what? 348 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,496 - I d... don't think I did. - M'kay. 349 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,803 So, those chemicals are toxic, and they're now in the ocean. 350 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:50,878 Skye, 351 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,210 at the same event, 352 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:55,217 I saw you chew gum. 353 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,308 Um... 354 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:05,354 Yes? 355 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:07,145 Was it a natural gum? 356 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,020 - Probably not. - So what you had in your mouth 357 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,188 were petroleum by-products: 358 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,824 Petroleum wax, butadiene-styrene rubber, 359 00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:17,823 - and polyisobutylene polyvinyl acetate. - Ew. 360 00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,316 That gum will exist forever. 361 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,658 When the Earth is dead, 362 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,742 that gum will still be there. 363 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,348 Okay, I... I do think that we know what you're saying. 364 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,532 We could all be doing better. 365 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:29,962 No, actually, what I'm saying is, I don't see you doing anything, Payton. 366 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,629 You've taken on this "issue," right? 367 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,423 Possibly in good faith, 368 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,756 but your actions don't match your rhetoric. 369 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,629 And if that were to get out, 370 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:42,217 not only would it destroy the credibility of your campaign 371 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,346 but also the credibility of the movement as a whole, 372 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,391 and I... 373 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:47,733 I will not stand for that. 374 00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,691 - Um, what's that? - Oh, this is a checklist. 375 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,569 Fifteen simple steps that you guys can take 376 00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,613 to zero out waste and reduce your carbon footprint 377 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,197 to an absolute minimum. 378 00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,784 Hold up. You're asking me to go zero waste? 379 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,054 And reduce your carbon footprint to an absolute minimum. 380 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:05,908 Skye has to, too. 381 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,786 Demonstrate your commitment to the movement, 382 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,883 or I will tell everybody you're a fraud, and you will be 383 00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,589 - canceled. - Wait, what? 384 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,300 Payton, this is for your own good. 385 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,221 And if you want my support 386 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,139 and the support of my many, many, many followers, 387 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,506 this is my price. 388 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,968 "Cold showers only, with plug in tub. 389 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,437 Use leftover water for cooking, cleaning, and drinking"? 390 00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:29,518 Yeah, you just boil it. 391 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,603 I'm vegan now? 392 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,937 - Infinity, this is insane. - Insanely simple! 393 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,566 I want full compliance in 24 hours. 394 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:43,660 Oh! Payton, please stop going around town peddling dates with me 395 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,582 like it's some weird form of currency. It's gross, and it's toxic, okay? 396 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:50,671 I'll see you guys later. K, bye! 397 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:47,007 Oh, no. Dede! 398 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:49,117 - When is this from? - Don't know. 399 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,101 It looks like somebody took it off his cell phone. 400 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,233 It couldn't be more than a couple of weeks ago. 401 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,982 What the hell is wrong with this kid? 402 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:59,284 He seems to have some kind of super-specific fetish or something. 403 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,069 Do we have any idea who's sending us these messages? 404 00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:04,872 Ugh. A gift horse comes galloping in here, 405 00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,588 and you're worried about who's riding it? 406 00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,536 If someone hacked his cell phone, 407 00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:10,998 we are in possession of stolen material. 408 00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:12,409 Okay, okay. 409 00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:15,456 But that doesn't mean we can't use it to our advantage. 410 00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:25,257 Did you do it? 411 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,891 - Let me see it. - See what? 412 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,635 Don't play dumb. Let me see it, your checklist. 413 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:31,734 Why? I did them all. 414 00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:32,928 - Bullshit. - I swear to God. 415 00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:36,898 Okay. Let's compare checklists, then, shall we? 416 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,606 Let's see. 417 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,994 Oh, here we are: Worm farm and compost bin. 418 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:44,397 Hmm. Check, check. Arrived this morning. 419 00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:47,192 The worms are currently eating the boxes they came in. 420 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,040 You have not handwashed all your clothing. 421 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,368 Yes, well, this outfit I am rewearing, so... 422 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:55,670 I do smell a little bit, 423 00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:58,478 but I'm not breaking rules because when I wash it, I will handwash it. 424 00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:01,092 I also turned off the heat in my dorm room, installed LED lights, 425 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:04,091 and I got these socks at a thrift shop. 426 00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:05,934 No tissues, so... 427 00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:07,389 - Handkerchief! - Handkerchief! 428 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,469 Okay. 429 00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:10,177 Uh, vegan salad. 430 00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:11,563 I got a low-flow showerhead. 431 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,160 I snuck onto the roof of my dorm and put a rain barrel up there. 432 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,694 Aluminum foil behind the radiators. 433 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,939 Reusable cup, straw, to-go container. 434 00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:19,501 And I paid a handsome sum to the IATA 435 00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:22,284 to offset the carbon emissions from every flight I have ever been on. 436 00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,824 - So, done. - Wow. 437 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,240 Impressive. 438 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:29,494 Um... Ooh, let's see. 439 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,028 What about 440 00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:32,493 number 15? 441 00:23:33,328 --> 00:23:37,078 - Yeah, no. I think those were all 15. - Wait, let me see. I'm just gonna read it. 442 00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,961 Uh, "Use your leftover shower water 443 00:23:40,043 --> 00:23:42,423 for drinking, cooking, and cleaning." 444 00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:44,384 Okay. No, Skye, no. I can't do that. 445 00:23:44,464 --> 00:23:45,514 That's insane, all right? 446 00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:49,180 My one pleasure in life is taking long, hot, masturbatory showers, 447 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,661 and I will not be giving that up, okay? How's this a problem? 448 00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:54,200 The water gets heated up downstairs in the fucking boiler room. 449 00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,024 If I don't use it, somebody else will. 450 00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:57,891 Then what? I'm supposed to save the water 451 00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:00,518 that I've just bathed in so that I can boil it and drink it? 452 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:03,105 That's like something out of a North Korean reeducation camp. 453 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:04,391 No one should have to do that. 454 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,533 That is not sanitary. 455 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:10,662 You lying, phony piece of shit. 456 00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:12,450 Skye... Skye! 457 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,254 You know who took a cold shower this morning 458 00:24:14,327 --> 00:24:16,997 and stood in a little bin and boiled the water that was left over? 459 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,120 - You didn't. - Oh, I did. 460 00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,166 And I made my coffee with it. And you know what? 461 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,460 That shit tasted disgusting! 462 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:22,923 Okay. We can just say I did it. 463 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,553 Motherfucker, no! 464 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,838 I had to boil and drink my own booty water! 465 00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:28,183 If I have to do it, so do you. 466 00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:29,777 - No. - Get your ass out of that chair. 467 00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:32,051 - We're going to your dorm. - No way. I'm not doing it. 468 00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:33,887 Wow. Okay, cool. 469 00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,278 Guess I'm just gonna have to call Infinity. 470 00:24:37,517 --> 00:24:39,937 Infinity. That's her number. 471 00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:41,645 I'm dialing, and... 472 00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:42,810 Okay, fine! I'll do it! 473 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:46,228 Attaboy. And it's the perfect time of day, too. 474 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,488 A nice cup of booty coffee gonna perk you right up. 475 00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:51,280 - I'm proud of you. - Shut up. This is insane. 476 00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:55,155 Okay, okay, you're gonna time it, right? Just two minutes. 477 00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:58,373 You can do this, Payton. Pain is all in your mind, you know? 478 00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:01,665 And you're gonna have a nice, fragrant cup of coffee coming your way. 479 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,170 Shut up. I need to concentrate. 480 00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:06,247 Okay, just turn it on. That's fine. 481 00:25:09,716 --> 00:25:11,546 You do it, okay? Turn it on. Just turn it on. 482 00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:13,215 All right. 483 00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:16,433 Okay! No, no, no! No, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing that, I'm not doing that. 484 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:17,845 - Okay? No. - Okay. All right. 485 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,693 Not happening. Don't care what Infinity says. 486 00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:21,186 Can I have the towel? It's freezing. 487 00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:22,399 - Okay, thank you. - Here. 488 00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:24,769 Ooh! Who in their right mind would ever do that? 489 00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:25,896 Jesus Christ! 490 00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:27,942 What kind of country is it we're trying to build? 491 00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:30,586 Know what I mean? It's a moral question when you come down to it. 492 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:32,532 Because that was worse than getting waterboarded. 493 00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:34,374 I cannot stand here and say that anybody 494 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,010 should subject themselves to that. 495 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:38,179 And children? What? Mothers are gonna have their babies 496 00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:40,003 - forced to sit in freezing water? - You good? 497 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,830 Because, honestly, I'm not here for that. I'm not here for it! 498 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:44,670 Hello? 499 00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:58,716 Payton Hobart is here. 500 00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:03,730 Thank you for coming, Payton. 501 00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:05,521 Please, sit down. 502 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:10,532 Uh, I do have a campaign to get back to, so if we could keep this brief. 503 00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:11,990 Of course. 504 00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,910 You have a lot of ground to make up. 505 00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:15,487 And if this got out, 506 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,874 it certainly wouldn't help. 507 00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:18,951 You can have that. 508 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:22,164 I have tons of copies, needless to say. 509 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,457 That looks like a pretty recent photo 510 00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:26,421 with a Geronimo headdress 511 00:26:26,501 --> 00:26:29,001 and then the... the Speedo. 512 00:26:32,674 --> 00:26:33,764 Who sent this to you? 513 00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:35,639 How'd you get this? 514 00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:38,506 A better question, I think, would be 515 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:39,757 what's with you and Geronimo? 516 00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:42,392 I'm so sorry, Hadassah. 517 00:26:42,475 --> 00:26:43,765 I'm sorry that I like something. 518 00:26:44,686 --> 00:26:46,936 Sorry that I find Geronimo inspiring, okay? 519 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:49,783 Am I a little obsessed with him? Yeah, actually, I think I kind of am. 520 00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:52,901 Who else's name has become a literal verb? Hmm? 521 00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:54,896 A war cry to ignore danger 522 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,868 and sacrifice yourself if you have to? 523 00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:58,948 The man watched his wife and children get murdered, 524 00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:00,294 and he still kept fighting. 525 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:03,502 He fought his entire life for the idea of an independent Indian nation, 526 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:05,040 so I am so, so sorry 527 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,333 if polite society says I'm not allowed to like him. 528 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:08,287 Okay? I'm so sorry 529 00:27:08,376 --> 00:27:11,206 if sometimes when I feel down, I like to put the headdress on, 530 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:13,086 think about Geronimo, okay? 531 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,013 Who he was and what his life must've been like. 532 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,050 And I... And I feel, 533 00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:17,671 mmm, I don't know, inspired, 534 00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:19,599 and... and... and, I don't know, powerful even? 535 00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:21,849 - But why the Speedo? - I look great in the Speedo. 536 00:27:21,931 --> 00:27:23,701 - Yeah. - Okay? I look great in the headdress. 537 00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,870 So I thought, why not try the Speedo and the headdress? 538 00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:29,024 And you know what? I look awesome, okay? 539 00:27:29,105 --> 00:27:31,975 I think that Geronimo would agree, actually, that I look awesome, okay? 540 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:33,317 I stand by this photo. 541 00:27:33,401 --> 00:27:35,071 You need deep psychological help. 542 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:38,033 Why don't you put it up already? Get it over with and put it on Twitter. 543 00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:39,314 We can all just call it a day. 544 00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:42,006 Know what? I'll do you one better, and I'll put it up myself, okay? 545 00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:43,435 Then we can all just call it a day. 546 00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,745 Because I'll tell you one thing: I will not live in fear! 547 00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:50,791 I have no intention of doing that. 548 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:54,668 Well, then, what the hell am I doing here? 549 00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:56,376 Well, one of your people, 550 00:27:56,466 --> 00:27:58,266 someone on your staff, I think it was the girl 551 00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:00,853 - with the big Gloria Steinem glasses. - Yeah. Yeah, the one 552 00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:02,309 who wears the pastel suits. 553 00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:04,519 Looks like a sherbet Diane Keaton, which I love. 554 00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:06,035 - Mm-hmm. - She's been digging around, 555 00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:06,889 and it's gotta stop. 556 00:28:06,976 --> 00:28:09,596 She contacted one of my old professors 557 00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:13,528 and tried to get her to go on record saying that I had plagiarized a term paper 558 00:28:13,608 --> 00:28:15,858 - on Robert Moses. - Did you? 559 00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:17,743 N... No. 560 00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:20,531 So, if you don't want this to come out, 561 00:28:20,615 --> 00:28:21,655 call off your dogs. 562 00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:23,451 The campaign is over, and we have won. 563 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,035 You leave us alone, and we'll leave you alone. 564 00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:28,036 You'll lose this race, 565 00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:30,502 but you'll have a future, okay? 566 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:31,964 And when I win, 567 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:35,296 I'll praise your fighting spirit 568 00:28:36,172 --> 00:28:38,092 and set you up for the next campaign. 569 00:28:41,511 --> 00:28:42,511 You got that? 570 00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:47,099 Okay. 571 00:28:52,188 --> 00:28:53,188 Payton, 572 00:28:54,315 --> 00:28:55,605 you ran a good campaign. 573 00:28:56,359 --> 00:28:57,359 You should be proud. 574 00:28:57,777 --> 00:28:59,567 You just aimed a little too high, that's all. 575 00:29:00,488 --> 00:29:01,488 Start small. 576 00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:04,076 Run for school board or something. Work your way up. 577 00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:15,747 Aren't you worried about paparazzi down on the beach spotting us? 578 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,301 We're not as interesting as you think we are. 579 00:29:18,715 --> 00:29:19,755 At least you're not. 580 00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:21,467 Not yet, anyway. 581 00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:25,095 Aah. 582 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,391 So, the monster's climate change, right? 583 00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:29,933 Mmm. 584 00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:34,113 If wild beasts came to California and started setting everything on fire 585 00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:36,519 and leveling islands and drowning cities, 586 00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:38,488 you can bet your sweet bottom nobody would ask 587 00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:40,448 how much it would cost to kill them. 588 00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:45,869 I've had the campaign put look-alikes of us all around the state 589 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,660 to draw the press attention away. 590 00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:50,874 They're like kittens chasing laser pointers. 591 00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,963 It defies every rule of politics 592 00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:56,882 for you to just disappear this close to an election. 593 00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,665 I'm 45 points ahead. 594 00:29:58,755 --> 00:29:59,755 I'm pulling a Garbo. 595 00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:02,299 I've got staffers tweeting every couple of days 596 00:30:02,383 --> 00:30:04,013 and surrogates doing talk shows. 597 00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:05,551 I'm a mystery. 598 00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:08,680 I'm in love with you. 599 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,270 Oh, God. Please don't be. 600 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,270 I've got some new polling data, hot off the presses. 601 00:30:17,023 --> 00:30:18,693 I am 14 days away 602 00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,275 from when over 67 percent of likely voters 603 00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:23,401 think it's appropriate for me 604 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:24,608 to start dating. 605 00:30:25,406 --> 00:30:26,566 No way. 606 00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:29,198 I've had ten doctors look at my wife's charts. 607 00:30:29,285 --> 00:30:31,285 Her brain is applesauce. 608 00:30:31,371 --> 00:30:35,631 She is never waking up. It's time for me to move on 609 00:30:37,043 --> 00:30:38,043 with you. 610 00:30:38,711 --> 00:30:39,921 No more sneaking around, 611 00:30:41,047 --> 00:30:42,627 loads of free press. 612 00:30:44,133 --> 00:30:47,303 You don't think that sneaking around is the best thing about us? 613 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:48,850 Not for a second. 614 00:30:50,181 --> 00:30:54,351 Georgina, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. 615 00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:58,270 Okay, fine, 616 00:30:59,649 --> 00:31:01,029 but if it doesn't work out, 617 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:04,896 promise me you will not throw yourself out a window. 618 00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:09,200 Thank you for having this conversation outside. 619 00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:11,454 I don't trust that we are not being bugged. 620 00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:13,328 Why are you covering your mouth? 621 00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:15,503 In case there are lip-readers spying on us. 622 00:31:15,582 --> 00:31:16,752 Mmm? Mm-hmm? 623 00:31:19,878 --> 00:31:21,338 Certainly possible. 624 00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:24,093 - Wait, you really think so? - No, dumb-ass. 625 00:31:24,173 --> 00:31:25,683 You're running for state senate, 626 00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:27,758 and you're losing by, like, 170 points. 627 00:31:27,844 --> 00:31:30,474 Nobody cares enough to hire professional lip-readers 628 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,715 to find out what your next shrewd political move is. 629 00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:36,024 I need to know who's doing this. 630 00:31:36,102 --> 00:31:38,062 The yearbook photo was your twin brothers. 631 00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:41,361 What? How do you know that? 632 00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:44,531 I mean, I'm gonna need some proof. Was there fingerprints on the envelope? 633 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:45,651 Like, DNA? 634 00:31:47,113 --> 00:31:49,033 I called them, numbnuts. 635 00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:55,615 - Hello? - This is Andrew. 636 00:31:55,705 --> 00:31:57,865 I work on your brother's campaign. Is now a good time? 637 00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:00,381 No, we're, uh... we're working. 638 00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:03,052 Then why do I hear yoga sounds in the background? 639 00:32:03,129 --> 00:32:04,839 - What do you want? - Did you two send 640 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:07,633 the yearbook picture of Payton dressed like Geronimo? 641 00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:10,387 Yes, we did. 642 00:32:11,512 --> 00:32:12,392 They just admitted it? 643 00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:14,102 I've never met anyone whose enemies 644 00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:16,732 take so much pride and pleasure in destroying them. 645 00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:18,904 People really hate you. 646 00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:20,479 Hmm. 647 00:32:21,397 --> 00:32:23,517 Ooh, did you ask if they sent the photo from my phone? 648 00:32:23,566 --> 00:32:24,726 I didn't have to. 649 00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:25,857 I know they didn't. 650 00:32:25,985 --> 00:32:27,855 - I did my own forensic study... - Careful. 651 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:28,986 Of the photograph. 652 00:32:29,072 --> 00:32:31,372 It wasn't hacked from your phone. Someone took a picture 653 00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:32,779 of the picture. See? 654 00:32:32,867 --> 00:32:34,947 You can see the edges of your lame phone case 655 00:32:35,036 --> 00:32:36,236 in the top corner of the shot. 656 00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:38,914 Oh, my God. 657 00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:40,958 But that's not possible. 658 00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:43,252 Nobody that hates me has been close enough to my phone. 659 00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:44,670 Unless... 660 00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:48,054 The leak is coming from within. 661 00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:54,177 This is a photo of me in a Geronimo headdress 662 00:32:54,263 --> 00:32:56,353 and a tight-fitting red Speedo. 663 00:32:57,558 --> 00:32:58,688 I was given this photo 664 00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:01,561 by Dede Standish herself. 665 00:33:03,272 --> 00:33:05,692 Someone in this room sent it to her. 666 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,507 And I would like to know who that was. 667 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:12,912 Hold on. What makes you think it was one of us? 668 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,281 Yeah, maybe they figured out how to hack your phone. 669 00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:17,577 Let's look very closely, shall we? 670 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:19,542 This is not a hacked image, okay? 671 00:33:19,622 --> 00:33:22,922 A photo was taken of the image by someone who was holding my phone. 672 00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:25,646 Like all of you, I consider this device to be an appendage 673 00:33:25,670 --> 00:33:26,710 of my personal body. 674 00:33:27,046 --> 00:33:29,416 I sleep with it. 675 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:31,131 I shower with it. 676 00:33:32,176 --> 00:33:34,426 The only time that I was away from my phone 677 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:36,152 for longer than a minute in the past week 678 00:33:36,639 --> 00:33:39,099 was two days ago when all of us were here in this room, 679 00:33:39,183 --> 00:33:40,733 and I saw a rat. 680 00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:42,350 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, there's a rat! 681 00:33:42,437 --> 00:33:44,107 There's a rat! Jesus! 682 00:33:45,815 --> 00:33:47,775 - Ow! Fuck! Shit! - Here we go. Here we go. 683 00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:51,397 While I was out of the room, somebody went through my phone, 684 00:33:51,487 --> 00:33:53,447 found the image, and took a photo of it, 685 00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:55,121 and I need to know who that was. 686 00:34:00,621 --> 00:34:02,251 What is happening here, you guys? 687 00:34:02,331 --> 00:34:03,501 It was me. 688 00:34:05,626 --> 00:34:08,046 I was feeling... jealous. 689 00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:10,339 Ow! Fuck! Shit! 690 00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:13,177 And I wanted to make sure 691 00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:15,339 that there weren't any photos of you and Astrid 692 00:34:15,678 --> 00:34:17,318 doing something that we hadn't agreed on. 693 00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:24,517 - Wait, what? - Sometimes we have sex together 694 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:25,774 and watch Gilmore Girls. 695 00:34:25,855 --> 00:34:26,855 Deal with it. 696 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:30,902 I saw that photo, and I was really confused. 697 00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:34,113 You took that photo just a few days ago, 698 00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:36,777 and... I didn't know what to do, 699 00:34:36,866 --> 00:34:38,616 so I sent it to James. 700 00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:42,575 It's a weird photo, Payton. 701 00:34:42,663 --> 00:34:43,663 After Alice sent it, 702 00:34:43,706 --> 00:34:46,496 I sent it to Astrid, Skye, and McAfee so we could figure out 703 00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:49,884 - if we needed to do an intervention. - Traitors. Traitors, all of you! 704 00:34:49,962 --> 00:34:52,512 We just wanted to know, like, how often you wear the headdress. 705 00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:56,720 And, like, is it always with the Speedo, or just, like, sometimes? 706 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:59,263 But... we kept it in-house. 707 00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:00,347 We didn't leak the photo. 708 00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:02,099 Hmm. 709 00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:03,271 I did. 710 00:35:05,561 --> 00:35:07,771 - What? - You've gotta be kidding me. 711 00:35:07,855 --> 00:35:10,895 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. But you lied, Payton. 712 00:35:10,983 --> 00:35:14,073 You gave this whole speech about how it was just a costume you wore 713 00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:15,033 when you were six, 714 00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:17,453 when this photo proves that that isn't the case. 715 00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:19,702 This is something you do all the time, evidently. 716 00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:20,994 You weren't being honest, 717 00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:22,757 and it was going to come out at some point. 718 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:25,077 And I figured if we were giving up on this campaign 719 00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,374 and looking to the next one, 720 00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:29,667 then we should get this weird, Geronimo-in-a-Speedo fetish thing 721 00:35:29,752 --> 00:35:30,802 out of the way now 722 00:35:30,878 --> 00:35:31,878 so that it comes out 723 00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:34,301 during a campaign you're gonna lose rather than the next one 724 00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:35,802 that you might actually win. 725 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:38,760 We're done. 726 00:35:41,764 --> 00:35:42,764 Just get out. 727 00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:44,022 Okay? You're canceled. 728 00:35:45,184 --> 00:35:47,444 We've been through this rage cycle with you two before. 729 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,060 - It's reductive. - Please! 730 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:50,607 I was trying to do the right thing. 731 00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:53,490 You weren't being honest, and I wanted the skeletons out of the closet. 732 00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:54,646 You're fired, McAfee! 733 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:56,403 Get out! 734 00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,909 It was me. I sent the Speedo photo. 735 00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,076 - But why? - I want to put Payton's campaign 736 00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:08,165 out of its misery. 737 00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:10,169 He's finished, probably for good, 738 00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,691 and I'm tired of working for someone 739 00:36:11,752 --> 00:36:13,132 who I know that I'm smarter than. 740 00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:16,010 Also, you were right. 741 00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:17,427 I'm ambitious, 742 00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:19,338 and you saw it the moment you met me. 743 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,597 I did. And like then, 744 00:36:21,929 --> 00:36:23,309 I like your personal style. 745 00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:29,268 I don't care about a state senate seat. 746 00:36:29,353 --> 00:36:31,193 I want to go to Washington. 747 00:36:31,272 --> 00:36:33,152 That's where you and Dede are headed. 748 00:36:33,232 --> 00:36:34,572 I thought by handing you Payton, 749 00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:36,280 I would prove that I could be trusted. 750 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:39,860 But this doesn't prove that at all. How do I know you're not some mole? 751 00:36:39,947 --> 00:36:42,327 Because we already have a mole: Andrew. 752 00:36:44,535 --> 00:36:46,445 You should get rid of him. 753 00:36:47,496 --> 00:36:49,996 Those cats he gave you, they're bugged. 754 00:36:50,082 --> 00:36:52,342 There's one at your house, one at Dede's. 755 00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:55,462 Sherry, get William on the phone. 756 00:36:55,671 --> 00:36:57,171 Okay, you're hired. 757 00:36:57,924 --> 00:36:59,724 No, Sherry, you do it. 758 00:37:00,092 --> 00:37:01,802 Because it's your job! 759 00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:03,973 Guess I'll find myself a desk. 760 00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:37,796 It's done. 761 00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:39,047 I'm inside. 762 00:37:40,341 --> 00:37:41,341 Okay, good. 763 00:37:43,636 --> 00:37:45,046 That was really hard today, 764 00:37:45,304 --> 00:37:47,684 particularly because I don't really understand 765 00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:48,805 what the plan is. 766 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:50,934 Well 767 00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:54,559 as soon as I saw that the twins had leaked the yearbook photo, 768 00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,766 I knew we were in trouble. 769 00:37:57,149 --> 00:38:00,739 The campaign as I'd pictured it, the one I wanted to run, that was over. 770 00:38:01,737 --> 00:38:03,257 We'd have to shake the whole thing up. 771 00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:07,699 We needed Dede and Hadassah 772 00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:09,155 to see me as 773 00:38:10,329 --> 00:38:11,829 fatally compromised, 774 00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:14,667 and I needed our campaign to 775 00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:16,457 think exactly the same thing. 776 00:38:17,461 --> 00:38:21,381 So, you will confirm for them that our campaign is a dumpster fire 777 00:38:22,341 --> 00:38:24,971 and that they've got this whole thing wrapped up, 778 00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:28,218 just at the moment when we've got our campaign's 779 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,136 brightest political mind 780 00:38:30,224 --> 00:38:31,854 screwing them from the inside. 781 00:38:33,060 --> 00:38:34,980 We have two weeks. I'll start digging. 782 00:38:36,230 --> 00:38:39,280 Good. Something big enough to take her down. 783 00:38:40,693 --> 00:38:42,403 You are our last play, McAfee. 784 00:38:44,697 --> 00:38:45,867 This is our Hail Mary. 785 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,158 I'm on it.