1 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,687 Why are you wearing that? 2 00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:25,401 Because we are dick-deep in some serious espionage, missy. 3 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,566 Can't take any chances. 4 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,532 Okay, but that outfit makes you stand out more. 5 00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,757 - You ladies know what you'd like? - Please. I'd love... 6 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:32,911 Give us a minute, please. 7 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,373 So, you know, and I know, 8 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,292 and Payton knows about Dede and the throuple, 9 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,220 and he knows that we know that he knows. 10 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,247 Yeah, right. 11 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,537 Well, guess what I just found out 12 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:43,955 from a dear friend 13 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,214 who runs a certain city desk 14 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,416 and gets real chatty after a couple of martinis. 15 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,841 Payton just sat down to lunch with a reporter 16 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,967 from the New York Times. 17 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,465 Not Field & Stream, 18 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,306 the New York Times. 19 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,391 So, what do you got for me? 20 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,977 I presume this is about Senator Standish? 21 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,063 Mm-hmm. 22 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,229 All I can say is it's big. 23 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,400 You can't tell me what it is? 24 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:09,988 Just that it's coming. 25 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,237 Save some space for a Sunday drop, 26 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,242 get it online, and I guarantee you, 27 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,334 it'll be the top of every newscast when cameras roll Monday morning. 28 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,452 That depends on what it is. 29 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:20,791 Give me a hint. 30 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,752 Health care? Campaign finance violation? 31 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,173 More like the destruction of a political icon. 32 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,133 It'll be your exclusive. 33 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,297 Sunday morning. 34 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,801 If that story comes out, Dede's career is over, 35 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,474 which means my career is over. 36 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,813 But I don't understand. Did he tell her what it was? 37 00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:41,019 Well, the story hasn't dropped, so either he did, 38 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:44,151 and they're sitting on the story until they can confirm it's legit, 39 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,748 - or... - So, what'll it be? 40 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,772 One minute, please. 41 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,936 Please, can we order? This place has a Michelin star, 42 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:49,863 and I'm starving. 43 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,283 - I can bring some charcuterie or... - I said, one minute. 44 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:57,735 Or he didn't tell her what it was because he's got nothing but your word, 45 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,616 and he knows the Times is gonna need more. 46 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:03,326 So he's trying to butter her up, get her salivating until she comes to him, 47 00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:04,714 begging him to let her run it. 48 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:11,125 Either way, we get a little time to generate some countermeasures. 49 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,844 Honestly, I'm just very hungry. 50 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,425 Now... 51 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:20,518 I'm having dinner with the selfsame reporter, 52 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,560 and I intend to quid pro quo Payton's tiny little heinie. 53 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,022 So I need to know the details of that threesome 54 00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,266 you and Payton were in. 55 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,072 Right. So, here's the thing, 56 00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:36,611 - um, I was looking through my diary and... - You keep a diary? 57 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,874 I mean, good, in this particular instance. 58 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,497 But who are you? 59 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,123 I know the date and approximately what time, 60 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,037 but... that's kind of all I remember. 61 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:48,956 Aah. 62 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,553 - Are you kidding me? - I was nervous. 63 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,922 I had a martini and I borrowed my mom's Xanax, 64 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,336 and the details are kind of... fuzzy. 65 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,345 You better listen up right now, missy. 66 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,927 Your assignment is to sit down with Payton, 67 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,561 light a few candles, get him liquored up, 68 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,730 flesh out the details, and get it on tape. Got it? 69 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:06,940 Yeah, okay. 70 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:09,805 Wait, are you leaving? 71 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,733 I can't afford to eat here! 72 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:49,209 It's Wednesday the 4th. Andrew-has-dirt meeting 73 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,749 in an office that I cannot believe is his. 74 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,206 You get the best office when you start bringing the goods, 75 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,634 and as far as I can tell, I'm the only one doing that. 76 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,883 Seeing as how Payton's down 20 points, 77 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,335 - you're really shitting the bed. - Okay, Andrew, just tell us what it is. 78 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:05,427 Sit back and open your ears so I can blow them, 79 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:08,143 because I have... the tapes. 80 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,812 I understand that the quality is very poor. 81 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,267 You have to, like, put your ear 82 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,857 right up next to it and listen to it a bunch of times. 83 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:22,073 Not to worry, because I have a transcript. 84 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:25,865 It all started when Dede walked into Hadassah's office, 85 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:29,080 shut the door, and said something very unexpected. 86 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,622 Hadassah, we need to talk. 87 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,365 William is back living with us. 88 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,127 Neither Marcus nor I 89 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,788 are willing to give him up, and that's that. 90 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,638 Now, I know this is going to infuriate you... 91 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:41,173 Infuriate? Oh, no, Dede, 92 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:42,632 that's not the word. 93 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:45,217 The word is... destroy. 94 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,103 You are destroying me. 95 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:51,020 I am a fucking puddle of water on the floor. 96 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,270 - You have wicked-witched me! - I'm sorry, Hadassah, but we... 97 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:58,324 Have you ever once thought for one second about everything I sacrificed for this? 98 00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,979 For you? For your career? 99 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,148 - Of course I have! You know that I have! - Oh, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! 100 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,367 - I have never had love in my life. - Oh... 101 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,278 No. No, no. 102 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,786 Okay, that one year I was married, but I never loved him. 103 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,213 Do you know that I could have married Peter Jennings in '84? 104 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,669 - What? - We had a torrid affair. 105 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,039 He was the love of my life. 106 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:16,995 But I said no. 107 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,295 I gave it up for this life with you, and I never once complained about it. 108 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,760 That just came with the job. 109 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,839 But you want to throw it all away because you got that tickle in your loins? 110 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,054 You know what? What about me? 111 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,446 - What about you? - You don't care. 112 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,810 And you can't even see how destructive you're being. 113 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:30,889 Of course I care. 114 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,573 - Know what? - I'm not being destructive. 115 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,642 You know what? 116 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,096 All this time, I'm the one who's been in the throuple. 117 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,227 - What? - You, 118 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,313 me, 119 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:39,773 and your career. 120 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,479 - What are you doing? - Well, 121 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,151 now you're the one throwing the career away, 122 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,527 so, thank you. 123 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,869 I can finally 124 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,276 move on. 125 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:54,077 - Please, Hadassah. Please, don't do... - It's over! I quit! 126 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:57,083 She went home and watched every single Nancy Meyers movie, 127 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:57,996 even the bad ones. 128 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,044 What are you talking about? There are no bad ones. 129 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,086 Mmm, agree. I just watched The Intern, 130 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:03,881 and you know what? Great movie. 131 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,125 She wrote Father of the Bride. Perfect film. 132 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:09,547 Know her daughter's started making them? The Reese Witherspoon one, totally good. 133 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,782 It's 'cause people really wanna live in those kitchens. 134 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,346 Hold on. No way. 135 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,563 Get over yourself, Payton. They're good movies. 136 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:16,853 No, I mean, 137 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,516 Hadassah has been working with Dede for her entire career. 138 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:20,855 She's not just gonna walk away. 139 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:21,820 Correct, bitch. 140 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:24,189 The very next morning, Hadassah returned 141 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,697 with a tearful apology 142 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:28,698 and a brand-new plot to destroy you. 143 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,157 I realized something last night. It's complicated, 144 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,999 and something's gotta give. 145 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,793 It's your personal life, not mine. 146 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,091 And you're allowed to lead it however you choose. 147 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,625 I... I really appreciate that. 148 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,700 If any of this gets out, 149 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:53,849 it destroys 40 years' worth of hard work, 150 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:55,521 - yours and mine. - I know. 151 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,350 So. 152 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,475 I have come up with a plan 153 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,820 that will keep William close to you 154 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,820 and skirt any and all rumors about this 155 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,279 throuple. 156 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,412 Okay. 157 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,200 We pretend William and I are a couple. 158 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,196 We've been secretly dating for three years. 159 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,076 I have a guy doctoring old photos, 160 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,243 and a Page Six photographer 161 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,769 who's going to catch us going into my apartment tomorrow night. 162 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,165 I've booked an interview with Women's Wear Daily, 163 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:26,342 where I'm going to talk about why I kept it secret for so long 164 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,762 and how women in May-September romances 165 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,961 - shouldn't feel any shame... - You mean May-December. 166 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,090 Kiss my ass, Dede. 167 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:33,890 May-November, at most. 168 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,681 - Late November. - Week before Thanksgiving, okay, bitch? 169 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,730 Anyway, after that 170 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,145 anything comes out about a throuple, 171 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,726 I mean, like... particularly, just a rumor or, I mean, no proof, 172 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:47,817 no... no photos 173 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,606 is going to seem like... 174 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,744 Like a desperate, ageist 175 00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,704 political smear. 176 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:58,912 So, what do you think? 177 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,960 I think you really do love me, 178 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,625 don't you? 179 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:05,752 Yeah. 180 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:07,667 I do. 181 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,555 Now, unfortunately, that's all I can tell you, 182 00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,300 because that bitch who works at the front desk switched her meds 183 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,925 and destroyed my spy cam. 184 00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,966 Because it's incredibly sexist, that's all. 185 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,076 That's what I'm... That's what I'm talking about... 186 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,520 I hate cats. 187 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:28,114 Sure, I can get a little Statue of Liberty wearing sunglasses in there soon, 188 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,032 but for now, 189 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,780 there's only two cats in play: 190 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:33,318 One at Dede's house and one at Hadassah's. 191 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:38,042 Now, there's still the matter of payment. 192 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,449 We're already paying you. 193 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,867 Where's my date with Infinity? 194 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,535 She's agreed to meet with you for five minutes next Friday. 195 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,384 Good. You're all free to go. 196 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,839 So, I told her I... 197 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,974 I couldn't agree to anything until the three of us spoke. 198 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,052 It's just... 199 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,306 That's her plan. 200 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,015 So. 201 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,729 What... what do you think? 202 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,370 Well, to start with, what do you think? 203 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:08,105 I think it's a way for us to stay together without having to break up, 204 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,650 and 205 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,364 quite frankly, it's humiliating. 206 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,525 Now, that is what I think. Humiliating. 207 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,204 How many mistresses have been in and out of the White House 208 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,743 in the past 200 years? 209 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:20,536 It is hypocritical, it is unfair, 210 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,860 - it is... - And it's temporary. 211 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,002 It's just through the election and the VP pick. 212 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,462 Once... Once we're through with all that, we can... 213 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,173 We can figure something else out. 214 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:31,553 - I... I don't... - Well, Marcus, we... 215 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,631 No. 216 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:34,549 I... 217 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,966 This is the hardest thing in the world. I know, and I... 218 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:42,852 Here. And I don't... I don't like putting my career 219 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:43,933 ahead of my life, 220 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,898 but I also know 221 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,692 that there is something great for all three of us 222 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:53,114 on the other side of the horizon if we can just stick it out 223 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,284 until we get there. 224 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,702 Okay. Okay. 225 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,200 There you are. 226 00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:58,621 Sorry I'm late. 227 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,617 - We good? - Yeah. 228 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:03,498 - Hello, darling. I missed you. - Hi. 229 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,868 So this is how it's going to go. 230 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,416 William and I are going to leave. There's paparazzi at the apartment. 231 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,844 We're gonna tell them we spent all day bird-watching, 232 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,013 which you got me into, 233 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,221 and then we went out and bought matching workout clothes 234 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:21,852 for SoulCycle, which I got you into. Got it? 235 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:26,060 Oh, marvelous. Okay. Well, gotta go. 236 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,354 Here we go. Come on, Sasquatch. 237 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:29,477 - Now? - Yep. 238 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,607 Damn. Where is that guy? 239 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,294 - I'm freezing my ass here. - I... 240 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,478 - You can't count on anybody anymore. - This is stupid. 241 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,493 - Oh! - Oh! No! No photos, please! 242 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:43,663 - Hadassah, are you two a couple? - You know what? I'm so sick of you vermin. 243 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,414 Yes, okay? We are! 244 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,746 We've been dating for three years, okay? 245 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,832 Now, please, just leave us alone. 246 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,422 Really great work back there, deaf-mute. 247 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:57,838 Home sweet home. Kitchen, my room, 248 00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,342 view of Central Park. 249 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,097 - Where's my bedroom? - Oh. 250 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:03,638 Your bedroom's right here, within the imaginary walls 251 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,813 that directly abut this sofa. 252 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,941 Okay. I just thought it'd be a little bit bigger. 253 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,518 Well, I'm sorry. I grew up a working-class kid 254 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:11,734 in Paramus, New Jersey, 255 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,154 and I possess a certain trait called thrift, 256 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:18,276 which means that I prefer a smaller jewel box of a home 257 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,664 that I can actually afford. 258 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,133 - Now, good night, sweetheart. - Ooh! 259 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,157 Love you to bits. 260 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,080 You're angry. 261 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:28,212 I just don't like to be excluded, that's all. 262 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,251 To be on the receiving end of a very elaborate lie. 263 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,497 I get it. 264 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,165 And I'm sorry we hid it from you 265 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,023 and that you found out the way you did. That would've been really hard. 266 00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,927 If it's any consolation, you're handling it better than I would've. 267 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,139 - Well, I... I appreciate that. - It's okay. 268 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,760 - I'll get you a duvet. - Okay. 269 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,060 Hadassah? 270 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,397 - May I help you? - Yeah, so, um 271 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,646 do you have a night-light? 272 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,737 No. No, I don't have a night-light. 273 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:05,616 Okay, 'cause this is embarrassing. Um, I'm kind of afraid of the dark. 274 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,581 That's weird, I'm working through it in therapy. 275 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,960 Just turn on the lights. 276 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,079 No. But see, I can't sleep in full light either. 277 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,726 I need the room to be dim but not dark. 278 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,093 Turn on the phone, the flashlight on your phone. 279 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,315 I tried that. It doesn't work. It feels like a tiny man 280 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,779 with a flashlight pointed at me is standing there and staring. 281 00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:23,551 Hadassah. 282 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,062 - What? - Can I just sleep in your bed? 283 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,890 What? Are you crazy? 284 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,204 I'm not used to sleeping alone. It's part of the problem. 285 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,989 The fear of the dark thing totally goes away if I'm with someone. I... 286 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,033 Okay, how about this? 287 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,321 You grab your duvet. You can sleep on the floor. 288 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:44,284 Oh, my God, thank you so much. 289 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,725 Hey, you go back to bed, and I'll get myself situated, okay? 290 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,424 Not at the foot of the bed. 291 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,965 You're not my dog. 292 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,417 Lay over here. 293 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,835 Okay, thank you. 294 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,518 So, and this is the last thing, I promise. 295 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,691 - What? - Shouldn't we get to know each other? 296 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,611 If we've been dating for three years? 297 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:19,942 Like, if somebody asks us? 298 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,110 And you want to do this right now? 299 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,661 Well, I don't know. Paramus, huh? 300 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,195 Was it nice? 301 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,413 Like Paris. 302 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,701 It was all right. 303 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,251 We didn't have much. My father was a butcher. 304 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,964 So we never went hungry. What about you? 305 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,292 Well, I was a twin. 306 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,837 Oh, my God, there are two of you? 307 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,260 No, he died when I was three days old. 308 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:43,549 Jeez, I'm so sorry. 309 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,759 Oh, that's horrible. I'm sorry. 310 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,012 It's okay. It's okay. Obviously, I don't remember him, but, um, 311 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,815 but they say that everything that happens to you before you turn three, 312 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,896 that's how your emotional life is shaped. 313 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,808 So, you actually do remember it, 314 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,608 just in a different way. 315 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,605 I never heard that before. 316 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,242 You... You're shitting me! 317 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,866 So, I forgot my lines, and I'm standing there out onstage, 318 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:15,583 so I just start saying lines from a different musical. 319 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:18,746 I can't! I can't! 320 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,634 Yeah, no, suddenly Tevye up there's singing 321 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,801 about how there's gonna be trouble in River City. 322 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,915 Oh, God, I gotta pee! 323 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,297 And then the pit band starts playing along, and. 324 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:33,723 Okay? 325 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,598 - You're okay. - Oh, Lord. Oh, I cannot believe that. 326 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:40,977 I have never laughed like that in my life. 327 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,725 And now it's time to go to work! I... 328 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,400 Oh, God. 329 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,318 I'm so glad we did this. 330 00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:50,566 Oh, gosh, me too. 331 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,828 No, I... I mean, I... 332 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,905 I'm... I'm glad we're... we're doing this. 333 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,621 Yeah. 334 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,039 This is fun. 335 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:00,419 - Yeah. - Yeah. 336 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:06,167 Okay. I'm gonna shower first, and then you, okay? 337 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,256 Okay. 338 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,306 What if it's a snow-cone truck, but then when you go to lick it, 339 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,430 it's dry ice, and it starts melting, 340 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,398 and the cups say, "Remember when there was ice?" 341 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,148 First of all, dry ice doesn't melt, it sublimates. 342 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,401 And if you lick dry ice, you'll burn your tongue. 343 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,752 - We'll get sued. - James, 344 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,316 there's no "no" in a brainstorm. 345 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,363 Fine, then let's keep pitching insane ideas 346 00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,606 about having a rally about how hot the planet's getting 347 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,987 when it's fall and freezing. 348 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,405 Would you please stop spouting right-wing talking points 349 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,914 that deliberately confuse weather with climate, James? 350 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,457 I guess I'm having trouble getting it up for an issue that is not a priority 351 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,712 for voters in this district or the country at large! 352 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,094 Payton is finally passionate about something. 353 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,921 We need voters to see that, okay? 354 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,877 It doesn't matter what the issue actually is. 355 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:50,967 Okay, fine, 356 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,050 snow cones it is. 357 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,816 I can't wait to go out in the freezing cold 358 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,887 in my overcoat and lick tongue-burning dry ice 359 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,023 and then hit the ER. 360 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,019 Okay, time-out. 361 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,810 Everyone's getting hangry. What are we gonna do for lunch? 362 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,646 - Pizza. - What kind? 363 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:05,875 - Barbecue chicken. - Hawaiian. 364 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,479 - No, barbecue chicken. - No, Hawaiian. 365 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,438 I'm fine with that. 366 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,897 "I'm fine with that" means 367 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,965 "I also think barbecue sauce on pizza is disgusting, 368 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,619 so I'll just quietly eat all of James's pizza," 369 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,450 and then I'll get, like, one slice. 370 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,816 Dude, you did not just make a comment on my eating habits. 371 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,001 It's not what you think. Nobody died. 372 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,253 Let me rewind a second to my life one year ago. 373 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:28,125 Yes, I was busting my ass to graduate Columbia early. 374 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,342 Yes, I spent most of my time studying, 375 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,554 but I had hobbies. 376 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,263 I had an exercise routine. 377 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,723 Most importantly, I had a bunch of friends 378 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,096 and a bunch of dates. 379 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,351 Did I keep these mostly women but also some guys 380 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,603 at arm's length because I didn't want anything serious? 381 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:42,595 Yes. 382 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,606 - But my full life felt full. - Fuck that. 383 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:45,978 - Fuck you! - I had balance. 384 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,275 Last year, James was a junior at NYU. 385 00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,898 He got really good at squash, which was so weird. 386 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,030 He got really into the underground punk scene. 387 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,992 He had a relationship with a CPA who looked exactly like Alice 388 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,657 that he ended pretty quickly, 389 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,205 but again, balance. 390 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:05,666 Mmm. Okay, let's take a look at your term paper. 391 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,891 Skye was the firebrand on campus, 392 00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:10,802 where it sounds like you're actually encouraged 393 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,089 to date your professors. 394 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,804 And she did some speaking engagements at local high schools. 395 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,345 I guess what I'm saying is, 396 00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:20,474 it doesn't matter how frustrated you get. 397 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,353 Poisoning people just isn't the answer. 398 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,997 She'd soon find herself working for the man she poisoned, 399 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,481 but again, balance. 400 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:28,564 Fast-forward to now. 401 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:31,857 We all started working for Payton and fell into a super toxic dynamic: 402 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:35,204 Working, eating, watching Netflix, passing out. 403 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,780 This is every night. That is why I'm crying. 404 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,704 I don't get it. That's Kaley Cuoco. 405 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,998 Yeah, she's on a date. 406 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,380 Tomorrow, I'm going out. 407 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,472 I'm going out to dinner, and then I'm going to see a play. 408 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,989 - That sounds great. What are we seeing? - You're not invited. 409 00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:57,973 I am removing myself 410 00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,973 from this toxic friend triangle, 411 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,680 and I am going on a date with someone from Tinder. 412 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,056 And then I'm going to have sex with that person. 413 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,475 Goodbye! 414 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,822 River's been gone for three years, 415 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,610 and I still think about him every day. 416 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,115 He was such a good person. 417 00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:20,581 Not like us. 418 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,829 - No offense. - Mmm. 419 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:23,703 None taken. 420 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,793 I think he thought we were good people, though. 421 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:32,046 I don't think I'll ever find anyone who sees me like he saw me. 422 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,508 I miss watching him shower but mostly miss being loved 423 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,681 and seen like that. 424 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,848 My shrink says I haven't processed his death properly, 425 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:44,850 but I think it's just 'cause so much of my memory is so blurry. 426 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,555 Had a pretty impressive drug problem at the time. 427 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:48,644 What were you on? 428 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,806 Ambien, Xanax, Klonopin. 429 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,030 The advantage of having a mother who's always high on pills 430 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,949 is she can never remember how many she's taken, 431 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,106 so it's easy to steal from her. 432 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:01,369 Not that she wouldn't have just given them to me, anyway. 433 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,293 I don't remember our threesome. 434 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:10,750 Really? 435 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,956 You seemed very present and into it. 436 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,547 Faking it is my superpower. 437 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,087 Will you tell me about it? In detail? 438 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,560 Like, did we do it more than once? 439 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,928 No, just the one time. 440 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,352 We got a hotel room so we could be sure no one disturbed us. 441 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,983 We did some shots of Everclear to calm down. 442 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,066 We were all a little nervous. 443 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,700 River suggested that we might loosen up 444 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,530 if we danced to the Psychedelic Furs. 445 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,491 As usual, he was right. 446 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,377 I think we both just wanted to make him happy. 447 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,214 And he seemed to really enjoy watching us, so... 448 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,626 I kissed you, 449 00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:56,668 and we were all making out on the bed. 450 00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,126 I was on top of you, 451 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,445 - then he moved behind me. - God, did he put it in your butt? 452 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:04,049 I thought he was going to, but 453 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:05,927 he didn't. 454 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,104 I think he was thinking about it, but then I looked down at your face, 455 00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,814 and you suddenly got... really angry. 456 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,614 Then what happened? 457 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,279 Nothing. You locked yourself in the bathroom. 458 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,486 He knocked on the door for a few minutes 459 00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:20,569 until you let him in. 460 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,622 You guys talked in there for a while, and then 461 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:25,491 you both left. 462 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:29,710 Wait, so no one actually had sex that night? No penetration at all? 463 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,788 No. 464 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,382 They always say that's the problem with a threesome. 465 00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,039 Someone always ends up in tears. 466 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,550 That night, you and I both did. 467 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,126 Why did you cry? 468 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,927 I wasn't attracted to River in that way. I just wanted to feel 469 00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,006 close to him. 470 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,143 You know, to feel 471 00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,059 intimate with him. 472 00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,186 And 473 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,273 it didn't happen. 474 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:01,817 Why'd you cry? 475 00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:09,366 All I know is that after that night, I knew without a doubt 476 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,713 he loved you more than he could ever love me. 477 00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:18,669 I threatened to out him. 478 00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:23,299 Even though I knew he wasn't gay, either. I don't even think he was bisexual. 479 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:27,720 That still haunts me. 480 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:33,389 I want to believe it had nothing to do with his suicide. 481 00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:40,069 I knew he wasn't gay. 482 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,203 He just wanted to be close to everyone. 483 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,407 And we just wanted to be close to him. 484 00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:52,041 So, I'm actually 37 points down now, 485 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,224 which means that even if Dede Standish were to die between now and the election, 486 00:22:55,248 --> 00:22:57,538 I probably still couldn't make up the ground. So 487 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,630 what would you do? 488 00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:07,836 - I'm sorry. - No, I... 489 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,968 I just... Don't you think that being together would be the closest 490 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:12,536 we could get to being with him again? 491 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:13,981 He loved us both. 492 00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,773 He's gone, Astrid. 493 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:26,315 - Sorry. - No. 494 00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:31,540 I don't trust her. 495 00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:33,977 I didn't... I didn't kiss her back. 496 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,036 I know. I saw. 497 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:38,628 - You've been following us? - Following her, 498 00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:40,208 just like I've been doing all week. 499 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:41,800 She's up to something. 500 00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:44,358 She keeps a weird schedule and took a spin class with Hadassah. 501 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,263 Do you think she's working as a double agent? 502 00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:48,973 What did you two talk about tonight? 503 00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:51,102 Uh, the threesome that we had with River. 504 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,467 - What about it? - Uh, details. 505 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,388 She said that she didn't remember anything. 506 00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:58,556 Do you think that she's feeding dirt to Hadassah? 507 00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,023 Possibly. 508 00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:05,146 Astrid has no moral center or emotional permanence. 509 00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:06,569 Her allegiances lie 510 00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:08,911 with whoever makes her feel good in the moment. 511 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,028 She can't be trusted. 512 00:24:13,076 --> 00:24:14,906 She can only be managed. 513 00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:17,213 We need to begin an affair with her, 514 00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:19,116 at least until the election. 515 00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:21,587 She clearly lusts for you, considering that goodnight kiss, 516 00:24:21,668 --> 00:24:24,458 and she's got major lady-boner vibes for me, I can tell. 517 00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,466 Oh, God, you're brilliant. 518 00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:27,718 Okay. What's our next step? 519 00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:29,339 You just follow my lead. 520 00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:31,930 Now take me home and make love to me immediately. 521 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:44,820 - McAfee? - David, hi. Come on in. 522 00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,526 You actually look like your profile, so, thank you. 523 00:24:49,404 --> 00:24:52,074 - Um, not a serial killer, right? - Nope. You? 524 00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:53,704 No. Good. 525 00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:55,945 Um, would you like a glass of wine? 526 00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:57,036 That'd be great. 527 00:24:57,245 --> 00:25:00,115 - Uh, I brought edibles. You want one? - Yes, thank you. 528 00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:13,968 Uh... So, what do you do? 529 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:18,350 I am chief strategist for the Payton Hobart campaign. 530 00:25:18,892 --> 00:25:21,442 He's running against Dede Standish for state senate. 531 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,230 Cool. He's got his work cut out for him. 532 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,572 I never understood why states have senates. 533 00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:30,399 It makes sense on the federal level but not for the states. 534 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:31,672 I think all states 535 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:33,696 should have a unicameral legislature like Nebraska. 536 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:35,452 - Pieces of shit! - Whoa, what happened? 537 00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,833 My friends left the text chain. 538 00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:41,460 So, I'm in, like, a super toxic relationship 539 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:43,080 with some of my work friends, 540 00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:45,311 and so I was like, "You know what? No, I'm gonna go see." 541 00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:49,415 "Studs Terkel's Working musical with some hot guy," you. 542 00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:51,006 And then they go and do that. 543 00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:56,564 And I'm like, "Of course, they're trying to control me," 544 00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:59,678 so I am going to do one better, 545 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,059 and block them 546 00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:05,152 on... Instagram. 547 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,525 So, what were you saying? You're from Nebraska? 548 00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:14,820 No. 549 00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:16,946 - So what do you think? - It's really good. 550 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:20,082 It's kind of an interesting throwback to that leftie, mid-'60s, 551 00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:22,442 you-are-what-you-do sort of thing. It feels kinda dated... 552 00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:25,327 No way. Skye, what are you doing here? 553 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:29,915 Seeing Studs Terkel's Working. Same as you, evidently. 554 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,795 Quit stalking me, okay? This isn't cool. 555 00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:34,465 Will you get me a beer and tell me your name again? 556 00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:36,639 It's Susan. You've asked me that three times tonight. 557 00:26:38,221 --> 00:26:40,971 I am not stalking you. You didn't tell me where you were going. 558 00:26:41,057 --> 00:26:42,057 What the hell? 559 00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,602 Wait, how did we all end up here? 560 00:26:43,685 --> 00:26:45,325 Been wanting to see this since it opened. 561 00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:47,773 No way. That would be an insane coincidence. 562 00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:49,976 Not really. I mean, if there is a musical 563 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:52,606 that three Democratic political operatives all wanted to see, 564 00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:54,574 it would be Studs Terkel's Working. 565 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,363 - So... - Is this your date? 566 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:57,698 - What's his name? - Hey, 567 00:26:57,782 --> 00:26:59,422 - I'm... - You don't get to know his name. 568 00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:01,951 Hey, so this show's, like, not very good, 569 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:03,997 and it looks like a lot of people are leaving. 570 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,920 We should go to the front row and sit together. 571 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:09,037 No way. I am on a date. Come on. 572 00:27:13,673 --> 00:27:16,527 - Payton told me you tried to kiss him. - I meant no offense to you, Alice. 573 00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:18,851 You were honestly the last thing on my mind, 574 00:27:18,928 --> 00:27:20,508 - in a nice way. - I don't care. 575 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,480 Payton's charisma is my burden to bear 576 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:26,229 as much as it is his. 577 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:27,851 And I understand that most men 578 00:27:27,937 --> 00:27:30,477 with Payton's ambition need the attention 579 00:27:30,565 --> 00:27:33,145 and affection of more than one person. 580 00:27:33,234 --> 00:27:34,234 Still... 581 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,780 Payton and I are a couple 582 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:44,372 which is why I think if he's going to have sex with you... 583 00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:47,921 I should be there. 584 00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:50,419 And if we are going to participate in activities 585 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:53,052 that could create negative headlines, 586 00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:56,299 we need to make sure that all parties involved can be trusted. 587 00:27:57,384 --> 00:27:58,974 Payton and I trust you. 588 00:28:00,887 --> 00:28:02,717 And we would like to have sex with you. 589 00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:05,136 - You want to have sex with me? - Yeah. 590 00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:07,475 I thought I was happy with Marcus and Dede. 591 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,850 I'm so special to both of them, 592 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:11,227 but I didn't realize until I was out of there 593 00:28:11,606 --> 00:28:13,476 and with someone without dual loyalty, 594 00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:16,186 someone who gave all the attention to me, 595 00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:17,607 just how lonely I was. 596 00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:20,026 I don't want to be the favorite child anymore. 597 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:21,567 I wanna be an only child. 598 00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:23,028 Are you saying I'm your mother? 599 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,118 No. 600 00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:26,372 Mmm. Um, I'm saying 601 00:28:26,454 --> 00:28:28,834 that you make me feel 602 00:28:28,915 --> 00:28:31,705 like I am the only person in this world. 603 00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:33,633 I want to make you feel that way too. 604 00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,382 Gosh, that's awful sweet, but 605 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,011 is that the only reason you want me? 606 00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:40,732 - This isn't just about me. - Mmm. 607 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:45,096 I've told Alice that you've been feeling a little bit 608 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:46,637 vulnerable. 609 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,515 You've been struggling, and we want to be there for you. 610 00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:52,442 Okay, I can dig it. But I have some ground rules. 611 00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:54,314 No eye contact. 612 00:28:55,024 --> 00:28:56,444 No kissing after oral, 613 00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:59,532 and dirty talk is encouraged, but nothing vulgar. 614 00:28:59,612 --> 00:29:00,702 Anything else? 615 00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:03,370 We leave the bathroom light on and the door open just a crack. 616 00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:05,370 I want enough illumination to see what's going on 617 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,596 but not so much that I feel I'm performing Oh! Calcutta! 618 00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:10,170 - On the platform at Grand Central. - Totally understand. 619 00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:13,708 Cuddle time after has to be at least the duration of the act itself, 620 00:29:14,085 --> 00:29:16,915 and I'm not liable for any injuries you may incur 621 00:29:17,630 --> 00:29:19,050 physical or emotional. 622 00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:21,827 - What, what, what? - To be honest, 623 00:29:23,094 --> 00:29:24,494 it's been a while since I did this. 624 00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,222 I'm married to my job. 625 00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:29,391 I have been for years. 626 00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,396 I know, Hadassah. 627 00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:33,309 Mmm. 628 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,810 But for once in your life, 629 00:29:35,565 --> 00:29:38,225 let's make tonight all about you. 630 00:29:39,569 --> 00:29:40,739 Oh... 631 00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:43,195 Mmm... 632 00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:14,943 Great. 633 00:30:15,021 --> 00:30:17,981 The new Morning Consult poll has Payton down by 27 points. 634 00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:19,566 Hey, thanks for tonight. 635 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:20,651 It was nice meeting you. 636 00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:23,195 Uh, David, wait a second. I'm... I'm sorry about tonight. 637 00:30:23,279 --> 00:30:25,279 I was distracted kind of the whole night, 638 00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:27,575 - and that's on me. - It's all good. 639 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,409 Can I make it up to you by inviting you up and then we have sex? 640 00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:32,789 Yeah. Sure. 641 00:30:38,419 --> 00:30:39,629 Sorry. 642 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,132 - Okay. - One sec. 643 00:30:43,716 --> 00:30:45,361 Do you need to take that? 644 00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:46,715 Um, no, I'm just texting James. 645 00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:48,813 I... I think I do remember him 646 00:30:48,888 --> 00:30:51,718 saying that he wanted to go see Working, 647 00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:53,888 which is probably what gave me the idea. 648 00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:55,847 So, that means they weren't really stalking me. 649 00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:59,227 If anything, we were... subconsciously stalking each other. 650 00:30:59,774 --> 00:31:01,154 And 651 00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:03,954 sent! Sorry. 652 00:31:04,404 --> 00:31:05,454 Turning this off. 653 00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:07,990 So where are you from? Not Nebraska. 654 00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:11,739 - McAfee! - Jesus, sorry! 655 00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:14,408 Oh, my God. Are you there? 656 00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:16,918 McAfee, are you home? 657 00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:21,708 You guys, this is not cool. I'm on a date. 658 00:31:21,796 --> 00:31:22,796 Wait! He's up there? 659 00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,219 Yes! We're having sex! 660 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,277 - Is it good? - You don't get to know that! 661 00:31:26,301 --> 00:31:27,221 Yes, I do! 662 00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:28,422 Good night! 663 00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:29,679 I think he just left. 664 00:31:29,762 --> 00:31:31,222 Wait! Where are you going? 665 00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:33,266 You guys are really unhealthy, you know that? 666 00:31:33,349 --> 00:31:35,599 Wait! Yes, I know! That's my whole point! 667 00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,153 So, can we come up? 668 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:40,864 Eleven states. 669 00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:43,106 That's all I need. 670 00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:45,742 If I flip Texas and Georgia, 671 00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:48,570 and I eke out a win in Florida... poof 672 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,660 the other eight are easy pickings. 673 00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,912 I can still be president of all 50 states, 674 00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:56,044 just as long as I win. 675 00:31:56,122 --> 00:31:57,752 I'm just gonna come out and ask. 676 00:31:58,625 --> 00:32:01,705 Are you thinking of anyone else for the VP slot? 677 00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:03,086 You heard something? 678 00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:08,181 No, no, but you're a transactional man. 679 00:32:08,718 --> 00:32:09,718 And 680 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:13,385 maybe you're seeing that you need some more help in North Carolina, 681 00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:15,023 or maybe California even, 682 00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:17,019 and would want to pick a running mate from there. 683 00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:22,444 You just take care of your senate race, 684 00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:25,066 and everything's gonna be fine. 685 00:32:26,569 --> 00:32:29,109 I think you're rethinking your offer. 686 00:32:29,530 --> 00:32:31,870 I don't judge it. It's what I would be doing. 687 00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:33,470 But if you're gonna flip those states, 688 00:32:33,534 --> 00:32:36,388 you're gonna have to turn out the young voters who've never voted before, 689 00:32:36,412 --> 00:32:38,162 and maybe you think that you need 690 00:32:38,247 --> 00:32:41,827 an exciting, younger woman to help with that. 691 00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:45,802 You misjudge me. 692 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,260 I don't blame you. 693 00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:51,590 I present an image of a buttoned-up workaholic. 694 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:56,768 And as a woman in politics, I've had to do that, 695 00:32:57,392 --> 00:32:59,022 but I haven't been honest with you 696 00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:01,351 about my personal life. 697 00:33:03,439 --> 00:33:06,729 For the last ten years, I've been in a committed throuple 698 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:10,198 with two men: My husband and our partner, William. 699 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:13,073 What? 700 00:33:14,784 --> 00:33:18,714 You said you had no skeletons in your closet. 701 00:33:18,788 --> 00:33:22,578 I don't think it needs to be a skeleton. I think we can use it to our advantage. 702 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,837 Perversion doesn't sell in Peoria. 703 00:33:25,461 --> 00:33:27,461 It does if you're under 25. 704 00:33:27,547 --> 00:33:29,667 And that's the voting block that you're going for. 705 00:33:29,757 --> 00:33:31,717 The kids now, they're fluid. 706 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:33,967 They're polyamorous. 707 00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:36,852 They share rides, apartments, boyfriends. 708 00:33:36,931 --> 00:33:38,641 And let me tell you, 709 00:33:39,058 --> 00:33:44,898 women ages 45 to 70 will be saying, "You go, girl" 710 00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:47,401 when they step into the voting booth to vote for us. 711 00:33:49,068 --> 00:33:50,988 - I don't buy it. - Well, you don't have to. 712 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:55,368 Because I've had our pollsters conduct a secret poll on the subject, 713 00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:58,790 and 62 percent of women over 40 have said 714 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,330 that they are more likely to vote 715 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:03,293 for a woman who proudly owns her sexuality. 716 00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:06,958 It's the next level in the women's empowerment movement. 717 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,545 I can't believe Hadassah agrees with you on this. 718 00:34:09,630 --> 00:34:10,950 She doesn't know I'm telling you. 719 00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:12,877 I'm tired of hiding in the shadows, 720 00:34:13,551 --> 00:34:14,891 not being who I am. 721 00:34:16,345 --> 00:34:17,805 I just need to know one thing. 722 00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,983 If I come out with this and my numbers go up, 723 00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:23,306 what happens then? 724 00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:32,574 I don't give a rat's ass 725 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:35,624 if you're screwing the entire offensive line 726 00:34:35,698 --> 00:34:37,368 of the New York Giants. 727 00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:40,330 If your numbers are high, you're in. 728 00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:42,460 If they go down, 729 00:34:43,956 --> 00:34:46,916 then you and I have never met. 730 00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:56,635 So... 731 00:34:58,262 --> 00:34:59,312 What's the skinny? 732 00:35:00,848 --> 00:35:01,718 Nothing. 733 00:35:01,808 --> 00:35:03,928 I can't remember a three-way because there wasn't one. 734 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,020 I know when someone's lying. 735 00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:10,145 Years of working in politics have honed my sense of smell for liars. 736 00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:12,193 They give off a distinctive musk, 737 00:35:12,401 --> 00:35:15,661 and you reek like you've been bathing in canard cologne. 738 00:35:15,738 --> 00:35:18,028 Believe what you wanna believe. I'll keep spying for you. 739 00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,446 - I'll let you know if I hear anything. - No, you won't. 740 00:35:20,535 --> 00:35:22,945 You're back with them... for now. 741 00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:25,287 You'll be back with me as soon as they let you down 742 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:28,083 or I offer you some shiny new thing that distracts you 743 00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:30,367 from that black hole where your heart is supposed to be. 744 00:35:30,837 --> 00:35:31,707 Yeah, 745 00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:34,256 I dug up the dirt on you, too, sweetheart. 746 00:35:34,882 --> 00:35:36,382 You're just like your mother, 747 00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,587 selling it to whoever's paying. 748 00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:40,468 You're fired as my mole. 749 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:43,305 Take your Strawberry Shortcake backpack out of here. 750 00:35:43,391 --> 00:35:46,481 Come back if you ever decide who you actually are. 751 00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:53,324 - Where is he? - In a cab, 752 00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:54,401 two minutes away. 753 00:35:55,111 --> 00:35:56,861 I can't believe I'm going to say this, 754 00:35:56,946 --> 00:36:00,026 but we haven't hung out properly in a day, and I feel like I'm missing a limb. 755 00:36:00,074 --> 00:36:02,164 Can we please do dinner and Friends tonight? 756 00:36:02,243 --> 00:36:04,043 - Yes, I would love that. - That'd be awesome. 757 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:10,004 Look at this from Astrid. "Can the three of us do dinner tonight?" 758 00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:13,665 I was right. Astrid doesn't know who she is or what she wants. 759 00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:17,625 If we keep her close, make her feel loved, 760 00:36:18,134 --> 00:36:19,934 she's ours. 761 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:22,601 And then our runway's clear to drop the throuple bomb. 762 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,850 I'm two steps ahead. 763 00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:25,291 I confirmed brunch with the Times, 764 00:36:25,349 --> 00:36:27,939 - Sunday at 11:00 at the Four Seasons. - Oh. I love you. 765 00:36:29,729 --> 00:36:32,319 Once this gets out, I'm the candidate with all the morals 766 00:36:32,398 --> 00:36:33,398 and all the momentum. 767 00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:35,939 - We'll win. - Mmm. 768 00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:38,069 Go get 'em, tiger. 769 00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:39,279 Whoo. 770 00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:57,341 Payton! Payton! Payton! Payton! 771 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,640 Yes, exactly, exactly. 772 00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:01,968 So, my friends, if you... 773 00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:04,893 If you want to see this beautiful carousel submerged 774 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:07,982 under four feet of storm surge after the next big hurricane, 775 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:10,019 well, then go ahead and vote for Dede Standish. 776 00:37:10,102 --> 00:37:11,192 Boo! 777 00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:14,606 If you want to see the ocean emptied of fish 778 00:37:14,690 --> 00:37:17,940 and air unfit to breathe, a sixth extinction on this planet, 779 00:37:18,027 --> 00:37:19,507 then I'll say it again, by all means, 780 00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:21,950 - vote for Dede Standish, right? - No! 781 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:24,451 But, my friends, if the thing that you want to see 782 00:37:24,533 --> 00:37:26,123 is a real sea change, 783 00:37:26,202 --> 00:37:28,002 a generational revolution 784 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,659 in this city and in this country 785 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:32,077 that will show the entire world where our priorities lie 786 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:35,496 and a bold, aggressive vision for a better future, 787 00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:38,416 then I beseech you, give me your vote! 788 00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:39,506 Yeah! 789 00:37:39,548 --> 00:37:42,338 Please honor me with your vote, and I will lead the way, 790 00:37:42,426 --> 00:37:45,176 because it is time that we start investing in ourselves, 791 00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:48,853 and it is time that we start investing in our future. 792 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,563 Thank you very much for being here! 793 00:37:52,186 --> 00:37:53,186 Thank you! 794 00:37:56,357 --> 00:37:59,737 Payton! Payton! Payton! 795 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:02,606 What? What is it? 796 00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:05,137 Don't know. Gotta get back. Dede's gonna make an announcement. 797 00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:07,789 - Shit. Okay, let's go. - That was perfect. 798 00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:11,003 Hi, I'm Dede Standish. 799 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:12,870 After 30 years in public service, 800 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:15,327 I realize there's a lot about me that you know. 801 00:38:15,751 --> 00:38:19,011 But as a woman, well, lately I realized 802 00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:20,840 that there's a lot you don't know. 803 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:25,428 You know, we live in a culture that makes assumptions about people 804 00:38:25,511 --> 00:38:27,391 based on stereotypes, 805 00:38:28,014 --> 00:38:33,104 well, outdated attitudes of race and sexual orientation and gender, 806 00:38:33,185 --> 00:38:36,805 and more subtle ones based on age and sex. 807 00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:39,573 And those stereotypes are never more apparent 808 00:38:39,775 --> 00:38:41,855 than in a hard-fought political campaign. 809 00:38:41,944 --> 00:38:46,374 So I wanted to give you a little insight into the Dede Standish 810 00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:48,869 who has been fighting for the past 30 years 811 00:38:48,951 --> 00:38:51,541 tooth and nail against the moneyed interests 812 00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:53,870 in the smoke-filled back rooms of Albany. 813 00:38:54,206 --> 00:38:57,876 I'm proud to say that for the past ten years, 814 00:38:58,419 --> 00:39:03,879 I have been in a sexual relationship with two different men. 815 00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:05,300 A throuple. 816 00:39:05,634 --> 00:39:07,144 Why am I telling you this now? 817 00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:10,509 Because I am so tired of the political pundits 818 00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:13,228 and the mainstream media making blithe assumptions 819 00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:15,019 about women who are over 50, 820 00:39:15,102 --> 00:39:16,602 as if our lives lacked the drive 821 00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:19,857 and the energy of people 20, 30 years younger. 822 00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:22,740 Well, all I have to say is that women over 50, 823 00:39:22,818 --> 00:39:25,318 we are just hitting our stride, 824 00:39:25,404 --> 00:39:29,664 and it is more important now than ever that our voices be heard, too. 825 00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:34,042 So for those of you who are feeling now a little uncomfortable out there, 826 00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:37,924 all I want to say is, just chill out. 827 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,090 Maybe it's time you got hip to 828 00:39:41,170 --> 00:39:43,460 what's really happening out there these days. 829 00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:47,507 And to all my ladies of a certain age, 830 00:39:49,303 --> 00:39:50,933 you know what I'm talking about. 831 00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:53,346 I'm Dede Standish. 832 00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:59,401 It's been a long day of fighting hard for the New York 27th, 833 00:40:00,106 --> 00:40:01,726 so if you'll excuse me, 834 00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,861 I'm gonna go let off a little steam. 835 00:40:06,112 --> 00:40:08,672 Paid for by the Committee to Reelect Leader Standish. 836 00:40:08,697 --> 00:40:10,367 Uh, okay. Um... 837 00:40:10,449 --> 00:40:13,659 Reality check. How did we not know this was coming? 838 00:40:13,869 --> 00:40:15,579 What about those freaking cats? 839 00:40:16,038 --> 00:40:17,708 All quiet on the cat front. 840 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:21,462 - The hell does that mean? - They're not nuclear-powered, dipshit. 841 00:40:21,544 --> 00:40:23,674 Maybe the batteries ran out. 842 00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:27,224 - And in regards to my date with Infinity... - Stop. Stop talking. 843 00:40:28,217 --> 00:40:29,507 What just happened? 844 00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:32,683 I think she just lost the election. 845 00:40:39,478 --> 00:40:41,768 Oh, my God! 846 00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:46,280 I got a text from Oprah! 847 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:47,671 - The Queen herself? - Yes! 848 00:40:47,695 --> 00:40:49,005 - What does it say? - Here. 849 00:40:49,029 --> 00:40:52,199 - "You go, girl." - And you do. 850 00:40:53,951 --> 00:40:57,001 - Oh! Oh! I knew it. Oh. - Thank you. 851 00:40:57,288 --> 00:41:00,668 We're up six points since the throuple announcement. 852 00:41:00,749 --> 00:41:01,749 I knew it. 853 00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:04,301 Voters are tweeting about me. Wait. 854 00:41:04,378 --> 00:41:06,208 They say that I'm... I'm relatable 855 00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:09,094 and real and sexy. 856 00:41:10,634 --> 00:41:13,054 Page Six was about to run that story about William and me. 857 00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,387 You should've asked me before you made that announcement. 858 00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:17,433 Why? Dede couldn't have pulled it off any better. 859 00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:20,936 This is our life. It's our choice to talk about it. 860 00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:23,190 True, and I agree, Dede was magnificent. 861 00:41:23,272 --> 00:41:27,072 What I take issue with is that she made a public statement without all the facts. 862 00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:29,991 She has put herself very far out on this throuple limb, 863 00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:34,660 which means she's at risk of someone sawing that branch off behind her. 864 00:41:35,117 --> 00:41:37,787 - Who would do something like that? - Me. 865 00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:43,458 - Wha...? - Um... 866 00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:49,380 I love you, 867 00:41:50,090 --> 00:41:51,090 I love you, 868 00:41:52,384 --> 00:41:55,384 but I'm never gonna be anything more than a third wheel with the two of you. 869 00:41:56,222 --> 00:41:57,222 With Hadassah 870 00:41:58,265 --> 00:41:59,595 well, um... 871 00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:04,233 I'm her one and only. 872 00:42:05,147 --> 00:42:06,067 Come here. 873 00:42:06,148 --> 00:42:07,938 How could you do this to us? 874 00:42:08,025 --> 00:42:10,065 The heart wants what the heart wants. 875 00:42:10,152 --> 00:42:12,152 But I won't let it get in the way of the campaign. 876 00:42:12,238 --> 00:42:15,618 The three of you will continue to be in the throuple while out in the world. 877 00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:18,789 I guess that sort of thing is what makes for good politics these days. 878 00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:21,749 But behind closed doors, oh 879 00:42:22,706 --> 00:42:24,576 this man is mine. 880 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,130 Come here, darling. 881 00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:31,506 After you.