1 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,564 When we asked, 2 00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:21,563 "Do you believe career politicians like Dede Standish have done a good job 3 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:26,444 representing the 27th District in Albany?" it was 33 percent yes, 38 percent no, 4 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,646 14 undecided, 5 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:28,946 15 no opinion. 6 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,189 - That's very good. - Meaning bad for her, good for us. 7 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,369 Yep, I gathered that. Totally did not need to clarify. 8 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,330 But when we asked, 9 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,449 "Do you believe Payton Hobart has the experience 10 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,536 to represent the 27th District in Albany?" 11 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,541 It dropped to a 21 percent yes, 12 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:41,753 44 percent no, 13 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,213 22 undecided, and 13 no opinion. 14 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,004 Okay, but that's a very different question. 15 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:48,482 Hold on. That's the same thing, "undecided" and "no opinion." 16 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:49,666 No, it's not. 17 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,508 Oh, God! God damn it! 18 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,894 I've done so much glad-handing 19 00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,451 that we've spent half of our campaign budget on hand sanitizer. 20 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,395 Are you just gonna let all this spill out, or...? 21 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,017 So, why are we ten-something points down with a month to go? 22 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,154 Dede Standish has 30 years of name recognition. 23 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,441 It's all about turnout. 24 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:11,647 Turnout in elections for New York State Senate 25 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:12,978 tend to be as low as 2 percent. 26 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,161 As few as 6,000 people will even cast their ballots, 27 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,912 which means this race can be determined on, like, 100 votes. 28 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,955 You could win if you just go after those people 29 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,799 who've answered the poll with "I don't know." 30 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,977 And we know who they are. We have their phone numbers. 31 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,341 There weren't any "I don't knows"! 32 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,580 That's right, James, 33 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,550 because you asked everyone for their opinions in a really confusing way. 34 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,673 - Maybe I'll just get us coffees, then. - Thank you. 35 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,642 The reason why we are ten-something points behind 36 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,641 and not ten-something points ahead is because you have a nuclear bomb 37 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:43,104 with the word "throuple" written on it, and you refuse to drop it, okay? 38 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,476 See, that's the thing with a nuclear bomb, James. 39 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:48,023 It's not a very good look for the side that drops it, okay? 40 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,108 I won't run a dirty campaign that attacks my opponent's personal life. 41 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,454 I am the ideas candidate. 42 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,529 Well, then you'd better get used to the idea that we are going to lose. 43 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,084 Maybe instead of coffee, I'll just see you all tomorrow? 44 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,314 Will you please get a mop? 45 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,106 I need a pretzel 46 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,654 and I need a... a chicken salad 47 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,027 and I need a Gatorade... 48 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:37,781 Forget it. 49 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,332 People, let's get up, off the saddle. Here we go. 50 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,615 Right, left, right. 51 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,325 Stabilize those hips, people. 52 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,586 Lane three, customer waiting... 53 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,991 I know who you are. Why are you following me? 54 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,235 Can I interest you in lunch? 55 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,547 I want to speak to Payton Hobart. 56 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,512 And don't lie and say he's not here. 57 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,669 Tell him it's Andrew. 58 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,299 Uh, okay. Andrew...? 59 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,304 No last name. Just Andrew. 60 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,426 Like Cher. 61 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:44,022 And it's like when I talk, they don't even hear me. 62 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,478 And it's not an accident. They're actively not listening. 63 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,559 I've been dealing with that my whole life. 64 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,057 It's called being a woman. 65 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,610 I hate math, 66 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:55,110 and I spent years at UC Santa Cruz studying number theory. 67 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,193 You know why? 68 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,413 Because I'm obsessed with Infinity. 69 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,279 Do you mean the person? 70 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,787 Yes, dumb-ass. 71 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,040 I can't stop thinking about her. 72 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,833 I jerk it all the time, and it doesn't help. 73 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,420 I've tried everything. 74 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,962 Empty affairs, a lot of older women. 75 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,173 Effed some guys, too, some BDSM shit. 76 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,422 Nothing works. 77 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,429 I'm in love with her. 78 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,051 So, why are you here? 79 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,888 I came to work for you, asshat. What do you think? 80 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,641 Your campaign's in the toilet. 81 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:30,727 Listen... 82 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,942 I'm just gonna come right out and ask: 83 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,799 Why don't you come and work for us? 84 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,028 But not "officially" work for us. 85 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:41,905 And how are you gonna help? 86 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,990 How thick are you assholes, anyway? 87 00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:48,119 I'm gonna get myself hired by the Standish campaign. 88 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:49,909 What you need is... 89 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:50,998 A mole? 90 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,247 Why even bother? You're, like, ten points ahead. 91 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,924 Shit like this is how we stay ten points ahead. 92 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,142 How you gonna get hired? They'll know we went to high school together. 93 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,087 So what? 94 00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,546 I'll tell them you suck and I hate you. Because I do. 95 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:05,717 And why would you do that? 96 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,601 And why exactly would I do that? 97 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,563 Because your talents are totally ignored 98 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,193 by a... an insufferable little megalomaniac 99 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,521 who, really, let's face it, doesn't know what he's doing. 100 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,066 Again, Infinity won't return my calls, 101 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,699 and her texts are, like, "I'm really busy," 102 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:23,738 and, "Please stop texting me. It's never gonna happen." 103 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,453 All these mixed messages. 104 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,953 I'm curious about your relationship with your father. 105 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,159 - Why? - I know he's in prison, 106 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,416 but what about before that? 107 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,499 Was he 108 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,964 an egoist? A little cruel? 109 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,622 That's none of your business. 110 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,421 He was a bit of a megalomaniac, wasn't he? 111 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,944 - I refuse to sit here and listen to this. - But it sounds familiar, doesn't it? 112 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:46,348 A sociopath who's only in it for himself? 113 00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:50,851 Who makes you feel exactly as small as you believe yourself to be? 114 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,038 - Funny how we do that, isn't it, Astrid? - I'm gonna tell them you approached me. 115 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,062 Don't follow me again. 116 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,689 You won that election, Astrid. 117 00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,569 The principal told me. They counted the ballots. You won. 118 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,735 It should be you running against us. 119 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,655 I mean, no. It shouldn't. That would be insane. But, still 120 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,288 - you were robbed. - Let me just get this straight. 121 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,086 Your price for helping us is setting you up with Infinity? 122 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,590 That's my price, dick. 123 00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,215 Does he know? 124 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,048 - Does Payton know he lost? - No. 125 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,853 No, no way. That's not how we're doing this. 126 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,547 Yes. Yes, Astrid, 127 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,392 he does. 128 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,432 I'll think about it. 129 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:39,606 It's a deal. 130 00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:13,446 So, in a way, 131 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,624 it's kind of refreshing 132 00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,503 to have an independent candidate 133 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,670 like Mr. Hobart running. 134 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,709 And... And no matter what the polls say, 135 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,462 he should stay in the race to the end. 136 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,924 I think history has shown 137 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:28,134 that single-issue candidates are good for democracy. 138 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,626 Whoa. I thought this was gonna be a civil conversation. 139 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,196 Elvis, I am hardly a one-issue candidate. 140 00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:34,702 Well, if I were going to be uncivil, 141 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,774 I would mention how I'm not sure you're even qualified to be in this race. 142 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,890 You enrolled at NYU, 143 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,847 what, three years ago? 144 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,018 Well, Senator, if you'd bothered to read my election filing, 145 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:49,027 you would know that I've actually been a legal resident of New York since age 14. 146 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,321 And how did you manage that? 147 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:55,123 My father's LLC is headquartered here, in New York. 148 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,791 Um, my family has owned a home in Montauk for several generations. 149 00:08:58,871 --> 00:08:59,711 As a matter of fact, 150 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:03,079 I got a New York State driver's license the summer that I turned 16. 151 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,747 Which you immediately took back to your high school 152 00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:08,666 in Santa Barbara, California. 153 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,376 Sounds like a real New Yorker to me. 154 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,507 Okay, we've got about five minutes left. 155 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:16,596 Payton, 156 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,601 are you a "single-issue" candidate? 157 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,774 Of course not. Uh... 158 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,690 And the idea that Senator Standish 159 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,652 would characterize a platform 160 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,532 that is centered around making green energy 161 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,109 this city's highest priority 162 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,704 by making New York carbon neutral in four years, 163 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,780 to suggest that all of that 164 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:38,035 is some sort of pipe dream, that just shows how out of touch she is, 165 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,039 and it underlines the need 166 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,671 for a new generation of young leaders, who 167 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,628 forgive me, aren't going to be dead in 20 years, 168 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:47,801 - but will be here... - Oh. 169 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,838 Living in a climate catastrophe 170 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,342 that threatens all of civilization as we know it, all right? 171 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,585 It is young people, 172 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,176 people who have never cast a ballot before in their lives, 173 00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:00,062 who know that this is the greatest threat we face, as a species, 174 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,483 and who know that we have the solutions to act now. 175 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:11,987 Trillions of dollars. 176 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,859 Say that again, Senator. Everybody didn't hear you. 177 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,987 This plan you just outlined, Payton. 178 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,745 Uh, doing the quick math in my head, 179 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:21,948 trillions with a t. 180 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,538 That's thousands of billions of dollars. 181 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,754 This is great lip service, 182 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:30,004 and I'm sure it will play out wonderfully 183 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,417 for your mother's campaign in California, but 184 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,296 this is New York, and we know better! 185 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,643 These are not serious proposals, Payton. 186 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,142 - If you had done your research... - Mmm. 187 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,274 You would know 188 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,851 that I just cosponsored a bill that passed into law, 189 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,356 mandating 2.4 gigawatts 190 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:52,439 of offshore wind power and no-cost solar energy 191 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:55,446 for 10,000 low-income residents 192 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:58,569 without raising taxes on a single resident in this state. 193 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,118 Those are real results from a real candidate 194 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,952 who's been working her ass off for the last 35 years 195 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,498 and doesn't have time 196 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:09,341 for stunt candidacies launched by unserious people. 197 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,601 I should've brought up the throuple. 198 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,393 It was right on the tip of my tongue. 199 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,971 I'm glad you took the high road. 200 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,015 Now, eat your sundae. 201 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,119 Only thing more depressing than a hopeless politician 202 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,943 - is a melted ice-cream sundae. - I'm not four years old. 203 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,232 Ice cream won't solve my problems. 204 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:32,774 I know, 205 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,494 which is why I also brought you 206 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:37,489 these marijuana gummies 207 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,284 and this miniature margarita kit. 208 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,581 And I'm also wearing very provocative undergarments. 209 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,246 - You're so good to me. - Mm. 210 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,671 I love you. 211 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:55,552 I didn't run out on my wedding just to be with you for the good times. 212 00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,802 For better or worse. 213 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,974 In sickness and in health, and 214 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,941 - all that. - I know you're anxious for me to propose. 215 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,651 The last thing I want to be is a distraction. 216 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,901 Why? Come here. You're the opposite of that, okay? 217 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,817 And we are going to get married as soon as this campaign's over. 218 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,158 - Assuming you'll wanna marry a loser. - Stop that right now. 219 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,237 And stop listening to James and McAfee 220 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,157 and their poll-tested ideas. 221 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,251 I've been doing some of my own polling. 222 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:32,751 Your climate-change ideas are really resonating with new voters, 223 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,085 - young voters. - Thank you. 224 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:36,504 They're the key. 225 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,627 They're a mirage, okay? The white whale of politics. 226 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,718 Campaigns chase them, 227 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,891 but the stats don't lie. Young people don't vote. 228 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,471 Twenty percent of eligible voters 18-25 actually vote. 229 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,977 They get all fired up, right? About the guns and, 230 00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,849 you know, climate change and economic inequality. 231 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,977 And then, they just sit around, drinking lattes on Wednesday morning, 232 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,935 saying, "Oh, wasn't the election yesterday?" 233 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,986 Okay, stop making things complicated. 234 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,527 One issue: 235 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:04,949 The climate. 236 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,496 Hit it hard, over and over. 237 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,407 That's how you're going to win. 238 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:11,956 You're so smart, 239 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,170 and I'm so in love with you. 240 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,800 And I know what I have to do to win this race: 241 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,585 Go to LA and get my mom to drop out of hers. 242 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,608 My mother returned from Bhutan with a new sense of purpose. 243 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,769 She was penniless from her divorce, 244 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:32,019 but she found her renewed purpose as the top fundraiser and de facto leader 245 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,192 of a program called "Oceana 2." 246 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,234 Their mission is to catch dolphins, one by one, 247 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,816 and carefully operate to remove plastics from their digestive tracts. 248 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:44,025 My mom found out about Oceana 2 from Infinity. 249 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,950 Infinity had become quietly passionate about the environment 250 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,124 during her book tour. 251 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,287 She even considered changing her last name to "Degrees" 252 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,750 to bring attention to the ever-warming climate. 253 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,145 Her and my mom had been Instagram buddies for a couple of years, 254 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,339 so when my mom was looking for a way to get involved 255 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,511 with fighting climate change, Infinity was happy 256 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,260 to make all the necessary introductions. 257 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,142 It was in her capacity as fund-raiser that my mother found herself 258 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,970 at billionaire Alison Mendelsohn's Malibu mansion 259 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,675 for a Game of Thrones finale viewing party. 260 00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,852 Alison was a huge Game of Thrones fan. 261 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,476 Her opinion of the final episodes was 262 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,476 less than enthusiastic. 263 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,610 Mom falls in love almost as easily as she falls out of it. 264 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,105 She and Alison became inseparable. 265 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,866 I understand that she'd lost everyone important to her 266 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,909 when Ser Jorah and Missandei and the other dragon died, 267 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,762 but are they saying that every woman who goes through a hard time 268 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,328 - goes completely psycho? - Can we talk about something else? 269 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,882 We are in a climate emergency! 270 00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,842 California emission standards are being threatened. 271 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,183 Our agribusinesses can't find workers. 272 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,220 Wildfire season is year-round. 273 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:52,057 And manufacturers are abusing our lax organic-labeling laws. 274 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:55,024 You're constantly complaining about this stuff. 275 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,309 Why don't you just run for governor? 276 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,939 You know what? 277 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:02,775 I will. 278 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,576 She was ahead in the polls within moments 279 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,658 - of announcing her candidacy. - That's great. 280 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,078 So, I said to Kissinger, "That's okay, 281 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,825 Princess Margaret and I aren't wearing any underwear either." 282 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,978 Men loved her, women loved her: 283 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,842 Rich, poor, liberal, conservative. 284 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,026 When my mother shines her light on you, it feels like all is right in the world. 285 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,486 At that moment, she was shining that light across the entirety 286 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,830 of the great state of California. 287 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,507 Between her natural abilities and Alison's bottomless pockets, 288 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,058 your mom is sucking up all of the Hobart political oxygen. 289 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,103 It isn't just the press or the pundits. 290 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,610 The people love her. 291 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,148 Every time I talk to a reporter, they just ask about her. 292 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:46,153 And... And when we send those "get out the vote" e-mails, 293 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,526 over half the responses are: 294 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,653 "Why am I getting this? I can't vote in California." 295 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,198 She's stealing my thunder. 296 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,035 Am I a terrible son for doing this? 297 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,294 Get going. You're gonna miss your flight. 298 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,667 And don't worry. 299 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:05,207 When has she ever denied you something you've asked of her? Hmm? 300 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,843 Everyone, stand by. Ten seconds. Please take your seats. 301 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:17,394 In five, four, three, two... 302 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:21,726 Welcome to the first California gubernatorial debate from CNN. 303 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,115 Welcome. We have two hours. 304 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,541 Still, I'd like to get right into it. 305 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,789 Uh, Assemblyman Andrich, I'd like to start with you. 306 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,581 Forty-five percent of state revenue in California 307 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,996 comes from the top 1 percent of earners. 308 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,457 You're proposing a 30-percent tax cut 309 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:46,838 for that 1 percent, 310 00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,672 creating, by your own math, 311 00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:52,507 a budget shortfall of $500 billion. 312 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,714 - How do you close that gap? - First of all, 313 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:58,773 Californians are some of the most taxed human beings on the planet. 314 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,941 And I wanna lower taxes on middle-class families, 315 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,231 who are the true engine of the state's economy. 316 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,984 Miss Hobart, would you care to respond? 317 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,986 No, I don't. He's a creep, and his poll numbers reflect that. 318 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,374 All right, uh, Ms. Hobart, uh, but let's stay with you. 319 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,869 This week, you stated at a fundraiser that you thought Californians should 320 00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:19,462 take time out of their day to, quote, 321 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,828 "hug a tree." 322 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,840 How do you respond to voters who think your campaign is just not serious? 323 00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:28,418 Have you ever seen a redwood, Jake? In person? 324 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:33,006 Every human being who has ever seen a redwood in real life 325 00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,597 has gone up to that tree and hugged it, 326 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,680 and, for one fleeting moment, 327 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,766 felt more grateful to be alive 328 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,441 and more humble to be in the state of California, 329 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,200 one of the most beautiful places on earth. 330 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,191 The people who think my campaign is unserious 331 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,066 are dishonest journalists 332 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,073 who do not know me and have made no attempt to contact me, 333 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,826 and right-wing Republican news organizations 334 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,620 who've been engaged in decades-long propaganda 335 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:04,174 to divide this country along any number of cultural lines, 336 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,929 because they make a ton of money doing it. 337 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,957 And they're good at it! They've won! 338 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,090 We can't agree on policy in this country, 339 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,184 because we can't agree on facts. 340 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,933 Okay, I'd like to move on. 341 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,181 And that's why I think California 342 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,394 should secede from the Union. 343 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,056 I'm sorry. Would you care to elaborate? 344 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:30,154 California should be its own independent country. 345 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:35,737 Most of our federal tax dollars go out of state 346 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,283 to people who think that we are pot-smoking, 347 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,037 Satan-worshipping abortion doctors or something. 348 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,038 Who can't shut up 349 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:47,172 about how our high taxes are strangling the private sector. 350 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:50,131 And yet, somehow, California manages to remain 351 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,092 the world leader 352 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,761 in growth, industry, 353 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,970 innovation, and culture. 354 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:57,389 We have the best public-university system 355 00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:59,466 in the history of humankind. 356 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,675 So maybe, 357 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,940 just maybe, we are doing something right. 358 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,984 And you have to ask yourself, eventually, 359 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,484 "Are we ever gonna change their minds? 360 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,031 Are we ever gonna change them?" 361 00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:14,902 No! 362 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,155 This state is in a bad marriage. 363 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,490 And what do you do when you're in a bad marriage? 364 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,615 You get a divorce. 365 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:30,214 Sorry, Texas and West Virginia and Alabama, 366 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,554 I'm sure you're beautiful deep down inside, 367 00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,919 but we're moving on. 368 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,048 And New York, if you're listening, 369 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:40,972 why don't you join us? We'd make a great country. 370 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,282 Illinois? 371 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,136 We'd be totally down for that too. 372 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,481 And if you're watching at home 373 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,897 and this sounds interesting to you, 374 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,940 go to my website or use the hashtag 375 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,775 "let's get the Cal outta here." 376 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,195 Thank you. 377 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,579 Okay. Okay. 378 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,615 Please, quiet down, everyone. 379 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,459 No one's gonna go see a movie that's just two hours 380 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,579 of Sia silently making snacks. 381 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,586 So, I see Mom got you two jobs at Alison Mendelsohn's movie company? 382 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,499 Yeah. 383 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,797 She didn't mind we don't have college degrees. 384 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,881 Eh, don't judge us. We're actually making a difference. 385 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:22,136 Also, I hear you're ten points down. 386 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,990 - For the moment. - Yeah, good luck with that. 387 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:27,104 Boys, are we really gonna continue to poke at each other 388 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,774 after all that we've been through? 389 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,606 We've come out the other side so much better. 390 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,022 Payton has a new campaign, 391 00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,071 you boys are employed, 392 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,818 I have a new love, a new passion. 393 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,784 Can't say the same for Dad. 394 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:45,156 Your father was actually always very drawn to tradition and ritual, 395 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,464 so I bet you this is the most settled he's ever been in his life. 396 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:50,172 Becoming an Orthodox Jew? 397 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,709 Yes. I hear he married a lovely Jewess 398 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,673 who wears a wig, and they're very happy. 399 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,343 Why don't you boys run along 400 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,381 so that Payton and I can properly catch up? 401 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,717 She never makes us sandwiches. 402 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:04,762 Agh. 403 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,639 You look wonderful. 404 00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,019 Isn't Alison great? 405 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,519 I mean, I know she's a little single-minded, 406 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,733 but all great women are. 407 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,710 Mom, I need you to end your campaign. 408 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,066 What? 409 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:19,315 But I'm going to win. 410 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,033 Yes, and I am going to lose. 411 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,276 Your candidacy is killing my dream. 412 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:27,664 But... is it my fault that you're ten points behind? 413 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,164 Mom, I love you, but you are a distraction. 414 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,671 I'm this big, bright star standing right next to the sun. 415 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,084 In broad daylight. 416 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,303 Well, then, you're gonna need to shine brighter, 417 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,510 not ask me to dim. 418 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,014 But I've tried everything. 419 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,011 You haven't tried being yourself. 420 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,894 I'm a politician. I have no self. 421 00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:50,692 Well, then, you're gonna have to find one that's authentic as possible 422 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,226 so that voters believe that you do. 423 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,105 People don't believe you because you don't believe you. 424 00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,729 Maybe I'm not even good at this. 425 00:21:58,358 --> 00:21:59,358 You know? 426 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:02,088 Maybe our privileged upbringing gave me a false sense of confidence. 427 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,872 What if... What if I'm no different than the twins? 428 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:11,120 Honey, those boys are Ferraris with golf-cart engines. 429 00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:14,327 You are the real deal. 430 00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:16,958 You're just driving in the wrong direction. 431 00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:18,714 How can you be so sure? 432 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:22,764 Because I'm your mother, and I know you better than anyone. 433 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:26,795 It's about authenticity, Payton, okay? 434 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:28,724 Okay. 435 00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:31,773 I'm here to see Hadassah Gold. 436 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,810 - And who are you? - Andrew. 437 00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:34,904 I wanna be an intern. 438 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,266 Well, okay. If you'd like to fill out an application, 439 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,817 why don't you go somewhere else? 440 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,030 Because we don't hire interns. 441 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:43,110 Hmm. 442 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,572 I saw the way you looked me up and down. You othered me. 443 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,199 Are you aware that the width of the doorway I just walked through 444 00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:53,075 is not compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act? 445 00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:56,543 Well, you made it just fine, so congratulations. 446 00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:59,247 Let me read to you from the subchapter on employment. 447 00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:00,996 Great, and while you do that, 448 00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:04,508 I'm just gonna rub the side of my nose here with my middle finger. 449 00:23:04,591 --> 00:23:05,511 Just hold right there. 450 00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,392 I'm going to take a picture of you 451 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,889 and then tweet it 452 00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:09,970 with the word "bigot" 453 00:23:10,013 --> 00:23:12,603 to the American Association of People with Disabilities. 454 00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:15,192 Holy fuck, you little shit. 455 00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:17,938 I'm gonna get you in to Hadassah right now. 456 00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:20,071 Bitch is gonna tear you a new one. 457 00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:23,148 So, I graduated in June, with a BA in mathematics... 458 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,945 I'm gonna stop you right there. 459 00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,607 I don't know what you said to Sherry, 460 00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:29,201 but she hates you, 461 00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:31,489 which brightens my day immensely. 462 00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:35,456 Ha! You're hired. You're gonna be my Sherry whisperer. 463 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,999 And by whisperer, I mean tormentor. Ugh! 464 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,247 What a bitch. 465 00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:41,335 Okay, great. 466 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,462 And a math major, huh? Fantastic! 467 00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,548 We're bringing in all this new IT bullshit, 468 00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:48,593 brand-new computers, a whole data team. 469 00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:51,347 That's what campaigns are all about these days, evidently. 470 00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:54,272 Uh, thank you, Ms. Gold. 471 00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:56,519 This is a dream come true. 472 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:58,241 Find yourself a desk somewhere. 473 00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:05,743 Well, hello. 474 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,858 I thought about it, and I'm in. 475 00:24:08,321 --> 00:24:11,581 - I love the cloak-and-dagger routine. - I'll do it on one condition. 476 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,952 When I run for office, whenever that may be, 477 00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:15,155 you run my campaign. 478 00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:17,620 - Sounds fun. I like it. - Good. 479 00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:20,456 So, you have a problem. Your candidate's in a throuple. 480 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,503 I beg your pardon? 481 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,838 A three-way relationship. 482 00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:28,342 And Payton knows about it. So, you should get on that. 483 00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:35,392 So, how is the campaign going? I see you're well ahead. 484 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:38,694 Well, that's what Hadassah tells me, and, um 485 00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:40,942 honestly, it's old hat, at this point. 486 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:44,481 This is, like, my 12th or 13th campaign. 487 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,987 Yeah, but the kid is only ten points behind you. 488 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,911 Yes, sure. I mean... I mean, look 489 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:56,788 there are a lot of people in my district that aren't that engaged. 490 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:59,370 All they only ever want to do is lodge a protest vote 491 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:00,826 saying, "F the system." 492 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:04,626 And, you know, here's this fetus, and then there are a lot of young people 493 00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:07,341 who are very excited about the idea of somebody like that. 494 00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,302 You know how it is. It's part of the landscape. 495 00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:13,086 But see, that's what worries me. 496 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:16,517 Senator, you're... you're worried? 497 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,930 The people you're talking about, 498 00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:20,556 the ones who get excited about voting for a kid. 499 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,520 At reelection, that slice of the pie is getting bigger and bigger. 500 00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:27,324 And your voters, 501 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:31,452 the ones who cast a ballot in every election for the past 40 years, 502 00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:34,242 I hate to say it, but they're dying off. 503 00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:37,535 I'm sorry. 504 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:42,674 - Are you suggesting that I'm too old? - Oh, come on. 505 00:25:42,749 --> 00:25:44,879 Because I thought that's what drew you to me: 506 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,300 My pragmatism, my experience, 507 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,919 to make up for the fact that you 508 00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:53,224 haven't been doing this for very long. 509 00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:56,347 I'm saying it could be used against us. 510 00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,926 When I look at your campaign, 511 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:01,225 who's running it, the slogans, you 512 00:26:01,851 --> 00:26:03,651 it reeks of old politics. 513 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:07,609 And it's not me who's smelling it. It's the 20 percent of your constituency 514 00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:11,281 who would rather vote for a kid than vote for you. 515 00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:15,871 You can't let this kid get closer to you than ten points. 516 00:26:16,199 --> 00:26:17,079 If he does, 517 00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:20,998 I'm gonna have serious questions about your viability as a running mate. 518 00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:23,538 Dede, we have a family emergency. 519 00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:25,713 Hi, Senator, so sorry to interrupt. 520 00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:27,042 You need to come with me. 521 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:29,957 I'll... I'll call you, Senator. Where are we going? 522 00:26:30,046 --> 00:26:31,126 To your house. 523 00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:33,317 - What the hell is happening? - Shut your fucking mouth. 524 00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:34,681 I know about the throuple. 525 00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,634 How did you think you were gonna get away with this? 526 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,470 I don't know whether to be furious or betrayed. 527 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:43,517 And then I'm like, "Hadassah, why should you have to choose?" 528 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,762 Can we just lower the temperature in here for a second? 529 00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:47,442 You lower the temperature, Marcus! 530 00:26:47,522 --> 00:26:48,732 Or if it's too hot in here, 531 00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:51,395 why don't the three of you all just take off your clothes? 532 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:55,027 - You're sure that they know? - Yes, I'm sure. 533 00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:56,823 It was one of their staffers who told me. 534 00:26:56,906 --> 00:26:58,616 That's how I found out. 535 00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,620 Instead of from one of the actual members of the throuple, 536 00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:03,083 which is what should've happened. 537 00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:05,373 Okay, but as far as we know, no one else knows. 538 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,417 Yeah, and how long do you think that's gonna last? 539 00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:10,167 Why didn't you tell me? 540 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:17,434 Hadassah, this was always a personal and private matter. 541 00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:19,762 We... We thought the best way for it to remain a secret 542 00:27:19,846 --> 00:27:22,966 - was if only the three of us knew. - Honestly, I thought you knew. 543 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:24,932 - You what? - Yeah. 544 00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:26,098 No. 545 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,266 I didn't know. 546 00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:29,404 I thought he was your great friend or something. 547 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,361 Or maybe you were a little gay or whatever. 548 00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:34,151 Or maybe the two of you had something going on on the side, 549 00:27:34,235 --> 00:27:38,195 but never in my life did I imagine that the three of you... What? What? 550 00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:41,331 You pushed two queen-sized beds together 551 00:27:41,409 --> 00:27:43,409 and daisy-chained each other to sleep every night? 552 00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:44,785 Hey! If you're gonna be rude... 553 00:27:44,871 --> 00:27:46,251 Get used to it, pal. 554 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,291 Shit's gonna get real rude 555 00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,995 when this is a blind item on Page Six one day, 556 00:27:51,086 --> 00:27:53,126 and the next, it's splashed over the front pages 557 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,593 of every newspaper on earth! 558 00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,303 Hadassah! 559 00:27:56,383 --> 00:27:58,843 This is manageable. 560 00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:00,097 Oh, no, Dede, 561 00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:03,352 vehicular manslaughter is manageable. 562 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,267 This... is batshit! 563 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,561 That's what I mean! If it does come out... 564 00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:11,185 We don't even know if it will... We just deny, deny, deny. 565 00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:13,792 Because, frankly, it does sound like some cockamamie, far-right, 566 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:16,317 Republican talking point that oozed out of the lunatic fringe 567 00:28:16,403 --> 00:28:20,123 like... like a pedophile ring being run out of a DC pizza parlor, 568 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:22,078 or Antonin Scalia getting murdered. 569 00:28:22,158 --> 00:28:25,538 Here, you and I know just about 570 00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:29,040 every political journalist in New York by name, 571 00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:30,584 and if they got a blind item 572 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,627 that Dede Standish was in a throuple, 573 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,001 that a woman over 40 574 00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:37,257 had even an ounce of sexual allure or desire 575 00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:39,720 which they don't think we do, and they are wrong 576 00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:41,891 they would just... 577 00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:44,530 They would die laughing before they could run it by their editor. 578 00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:47,177 And even if they look, they won't find anything. 579 00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:50,897 I mean, we've been in public a few times together, but that's it. 580 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,059 You asked how we thought we could get away with this. 581 00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:56,358 Well, we've been getting away with this for ten years! 582 00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:57,693 Do they have proof? 583 00:28:57,777 --> 00:29:00,157 Do they have a salacious photo or a video? 584 00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:02,738 A video? Oh, my God. 585 00:29:02,824 --> 00:29:03,824 You do videos? 586 00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:06,615 No, no, no. Of course we don't do videos. 587 00:29:06,703 --> 00:29:07,753 Oh, thank God. 588 00:29:10,832 --> 00:29:13,132 No, no, it was the staffer. 589 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:15,421 She told me she saw you... You three kissing, 590 00:29:15,503 --> 00:29:17,093 which 591 00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:20,302 - just the mental picture. - So, one mistake, once. 592 00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:22,820 And we knew it. We talked about it in the limo on the way home 593 00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:24,564 - as we were all making out... - Making out. 594 00:29:24,637 --> 00:29:25,717 Oh, Jesus Christ! 595 00:29:25,805 --> 00:29:28,765 And swore that this would never happen again. 596 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,090 That's the night we get caught. 597 00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:32,693 Right, but it's just an image in some girl's head. 598 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:36,021 It's a memory of what she thinks she saw. She has no proof. 599 00:29:36,107 --> 00:29:37,607 It'll just be her word. 600 00:29:39,652 --> 00:29:40,652 Come on. 601 00:29:44,365 --> 00:29:47,825 Look, I know this is not ideal, 602 00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:52,455 and I'm sorry that we kept it from you. 603 00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:56,920 I understand that you feel that we betrayed your trust, and. 604 00:29:57,003 --> 00:29:59,423 I, and... We're gonna do everything 605 00:29:59,923 --> 00:30:01,513 to gain your trust back again. 606 00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,342 No. 607 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:08,144 It's me or him. 608 00:30:09,557 --> 00:30:11,387 You two end this tonight, 609 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,266 or I walk, and I walk forever. 610 00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:16,819 Like a fucking Jewish Highlander. 611 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,133 We'll discuss it and get back to you. 612 00:30:24,405 --> 00:30:26,655 No, Dede, you never see him again, 613 00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:28,446 you never speak to him again. 614 00:30:29,285 --> 00:30:31,445 Look, I'm sure you're a very nice pivot man, 615 00:30:32,038 --> 00:30:33,038 but it's over, okay? 616 00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:39,002 No. 617 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,125 It isn't over. 618 00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:48,256 I am not giving up the best thing in my life 619 00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:53,266 just because some 22-year-old fucking rich kid 620 00:30:53,351 --> 00:30:54,891 thinks he has something on me! 621 00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:59,018 You idiot. I don't give a shit about Payton Hobart. 622 00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:02,744 It's Tino I care about. Tino. 623 00:31:04,195 --> 00:31:06,105 What is gonna happen when he gets wind of this? 624 00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:07,567 What do you think he's gonna do? 625 00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:11,543 You're not gonna become the vice president of the United States. 626 00:31:11,911 --> 00:31:13,711 The ship has sailed, Dede. 627 00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:15,996 Sailed. 628 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:32,098 No, no. No, no, no. 629 00:31:33,349 --> 00:31:35,099 Mm. 630 00:31:35,184 --> 00:31:38,904 Well, this is what I call coming to your senses. 631 00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:41,940 Keep it up. 632 00:31:56,539 --> 00:31:57,619 So, what is this again? 633 00:31:57,707 --> 00:31:59,747 Infinity's thing, Rally for Climate Action. 634 00:31:59,792 --> 00:32:00,792 I don't get it. 635 00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:02,172 What's Infinity's deal? 636 00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:05,263 I thought she was a best-selling author. Now she's a climate activist? 637 00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:07,590 Yeah, what a bitch, right? How dare she use her notoriety 638 00:32:07,675 --> 00:32:10,885 to raise awareness about the greatest long-term threat to human civilization? 639 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:13,060 You're an ass. Here's your speech. 640 00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:17,442 Okay. 641 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:20,442 And it is now 642 00:32:20,521 --> 00:32:23,361 my pleasure to introduce a dear friend of mine 643 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:27,071 who's running for state senate, which is totally a thing, 644 00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:29,741 Payton Hobart! 645 00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:32,658 I don't need this. 646 00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:34,159 What? 647 00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:36,874 Hello, Infinity. 648 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,205 - Thanks for being here. - Thanks for having me. 649 00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:41,041 Thank you to Infinity! 650 00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:46,627 You know, Infinity and I, uh, we went to high school together. 651 00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:49,434 - Uh, she was my running mate, actually. - True. 652 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:50,949 And can I tell you what my first act 653 00:32:51,010 --> 00:32:52,850 - as student body president was? - Yeah! 654 00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:53,929 It was real simple: 655 00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:57,227 To ban the use of plastic straws on campus, right? 656 00:32:57,308 --> 00:32:58,978 Yes! 657 00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:01,150 Yes, like you, I thought it was a total no-brainer. 658 00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:03,899 It's a... It's a concrete solution we can implement overnight 659 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:05,942 that would make a significant environmental impact 660 00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:08,074 and would show the world our generation's commitment 661 00:33:08,152 --> 00:33:10,532 - to protecting the environment. - Yeah! 662 00:33:10,613 --> 00:33:13,243 But when I presented this plan to the school board, 663 00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:15,454 I was laughed out of the room. 664 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,865 They called me naive. 665 00:33:17,453 --> 00:33:19,623 They called the plan "outlandish." 666 00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:22,076 They admitted that it was the right thing to do, 667 00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:23,746 but they said it just couldn't be done. 668 00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:26,902 This is exactly what our generation is dealing with, friends. 669 00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:28,843 These are the adults in the room, 670 00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:31,263 and they don't even have the backbone to take on straws? 671 00:33:35,304 --> 00:33:38,684 Now, listen. Every one of us here today knows that we are in a generational fight 672 00:33:38,766 --> 00:33:41,436 that will determine our species' future on this planet. 673 00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:44,729 But politicians like Dede Standish... 674 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:49,238 They cannot accept our urgency to clean up this mess, 675 00:33:49,318 --> 00:33:51,198 because if they did, they would have to admit 676 00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:52,739 that they are the ones who made it! 677 00:33:54,782 --> 00:33:58,202 Well, Senator Standish, if you are listening today, 678 00:33:58,286 --> 00:34:00,826 I do not want my children and my grandchildren 679 00:34:00,913 --> 00:34:03,043 living in a New York City with 20-foot sea walls 680 00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:06,214 holding back a dying ocean on a scorched Earth 681 00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,924 with tens of millions of climate refugees... 682 00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:11,165 - No. No. - And fascist governments 683 00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:12,087 around the globe 684 00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:13,505 are committing wholesale genocide 685 00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:16,223 while we fight for dwindling supplies of food and water! 686 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,200 That is where this world is headed if we continue to do nothing, 687 00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:23,694 Dede Standish. And when you say that we can't afford to take action, 688 00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:26,310 I say this: It's because of your generation's policies 689 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:28,397 that my generation has no other choice! 690 00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:32,611 - Amazing. He's amazing. - Thank you very much! 691 00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:36,448 But, my friends, we do have one choice, and that's on Election Day. 692 00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:39,082 You, all of you, each and every one of you 693 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,870 who has voted with your feet today, 694 00:34:40,953 --> 00:34:43,213 by showing the world where your priorities lie, 695 00:34:43,289 --> 00:34:46,379 you have the chance on November 5th 696 00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:49,629 to preserve humanity's future on this planet and in this city. 697 00:34:49,712 --> 00:34:52,092 You. You are the solution. 698 00:34:52,298 --> 00:34:54,088 Our generation is gonna save this planet, 699 00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:57,095 and I'm going to do everything in my power to help you do so! 700 00:34:57,178 --> 00:34:58,258 Thank you very much! 701 00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:00,056 Unbelievable! 702 00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:08,858 This is being livestreamed. 703 00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:16,323 - That was good. - This is gonna go viral. 704 00:35:16,405 --> 00:35:18,945 I liked that. Let's do more of that. 705 00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,929 It doesn't exist. The albino lobster? 706 00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:38,009 It's a legend. 707 00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:40,969 They say it's one-in-a-hundred-million chance that you find one. 708 00:35:41,055 --> 00:35:42,925 Better chance of winning the Mega Millions. 709 00:35:43,015 --> 00:35:44,765 Well, which is it? Does it not exist, 710 00:35:44,851 --> 00:35:46,531 or is it a one-in-a-hundred-million chance? 711 00:35:46,602 --> 00:35:48,272 Can I give you some advice? 712 00:35:48,354 --> 00:35:50,614 Maybe it's not the white lobster you're looking for. 713 00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:53,110 - Maybe it's something else. - Like a blue lobster? 714 00:35:53,192 --> 00:35:56,572 No. Like, maybe the white lobster represents what you really want 715 00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:57,704 but you can't have. 716 00:35:58,114 --> 00:35:59,474 But you're looking for the lobster 717 00:35:59,532 --> 00:36:01,622 so you don't have to think about the real thing. 718 00:36:01,701 --> 00:36:03,411 I've actually seen a blue lobster. 719 00:36:04,328 --> 00:36:05,328 Pretty rare. 720 00:36:05,371 --> 00:36:07,121 I love someone, okay? 721 00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:08,880 Two someones, 722 00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:10,128 and I can't have them. 723 00:36:10,501 --> 00:36:12,381 That's why I ran away to work on a lobster boat, 724 00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:14,210 so I don't have to think about them. 725 00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:17,337 So I don't have to think about anything. So, please, stop talking to me! 726 00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:24,722 Can't you at least pretend not to hate everyone here? 727 00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:27,686 Why pretend in a room full of fakes? 728 00:36:28,352 --> 00:36:30,942 They're never going to tell you what they really think, anyway. 729 00:36:31,397 --> 00:36:34,187 These are voters from every Hollywood guild and academy. 730 00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:37,445 Why are my voters so awful and yours are so perfect? 731 00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:39,028 The difference is this: 732 00:36:39,113 --> 00:36:40,743 I want to help my voters, 733 00:36:40,823 --> 00:36:42,783 and you want your voters to help you. 734 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:53,380 Old-fashioned, not too sweet, right? 735 00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:56,341 - Yes. Uh, that or... - Martini up. Extra olives. 736 00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:01,009 I have the top oppo researchers in the game. 737 00:37:01,093 --> 00:37:02,893 I'm Tino McCutcheon, 738 00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:05,224 junior senator for the great state of Texas. 739 00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:06,466 Mmm! 740 00:37:06,682 --> 00:37:08,812 Yes, I believe I've seen you on television. 741 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,023 Were you doing some sort of triathlon? 742 00:37:11,687 --> 00:37:13,187 Well, between you and I, 743 00:37:13,272 --> 00:37:16,442 I'm positioning myself for a presidential run next year. 744 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:20,914 My advisers feel it's wise to lean into my virility and sex appeal, so 745 00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:24,954 a shirtless politician produces millions in free advertising. 746 00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:26,454 I'll keep that in mind. 747 00:37:28,037 --> 00:37:29,407 So, what brings you here? 748 00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:31,207 Fundraising? I hope not. 749 00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:33,670 These limousine liberals are full of passion 750 00:37:33,751 --> 00:37:35,751 until you ask them to write a check. 751 00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:38,336 Not exactly. I have a proposal for you. 752 00:37:38,714 --> 00:37:40,014 I'm seeing someone... 753 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:42,394 I think. 754 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:45,139 Not that kind of proposal. 755 00:37:46,889 --> 00:37:49,139 My wife slipped into a coma two years ago. 756 00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:51,845 Complications from a severe case of trichinosis. 757 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:53,496 They don't know if she'll ever wake up, 758 00:37:53,562 --> 00:37:56,522 and even if she does, there will most certainly be brain damage. 759 00:37:57,566 --> 00:38:00,356 Well, you're a very good husband for staying by her side. 760 00:38:00,444 --> 00:38:04,574 My husband slipped into a coma for a week, and I was one foot out the door. 761 00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:08,408 Well, I hate to say it, but it's been great for me, politically. 762 00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:09,494 Uh... 763 00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:12,044 I've been paying attention to your campaign. 764 00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:14,003 You have a gift. 765 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:15,625 Well 766 00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:19,134 people have always found me interesting, for some reason. 767 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:22,054 My father said you can't teach charisma. 768 00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:25,007 He would have known. He was a great big fat man, 769 00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:26,804 and the ladies couldn't keep away. 770 00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:30,555 Yeah. Ideas don't win campaigns anymore. 771 00:38:30,641 --> 00:38:31,771 Values certainly don't. 772 00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:35,811 Nowadays, the guy who gets elected is the guy who gets the most attention. 773 00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:39,028 P. T. Barnum would be our next president if he were alive. 774 00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:41,439 I never liked the circus. 775 00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:42,819 Those poor elephants. 776 00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:45,411 I'm looking to make a splash 777 00:38:45,698 --> 00:38:47,908 and separate myself from the other candidates 778 00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:50,832 by announcing my running mate early. 779 00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:53,786 I'd like to offer the position to you. 780 00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,171 Good Lord, 781 00:38:56,625 --> 00:38:57,785 that's a terrible idea. 782 00:38:57,877 --> 00:39:01,417 I... I don't think I would play very well in Iowa or Wisconsin. 783 00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:02,545 I'm a water sign. 784 00:39:02,631 --> 00:39:03,631 We don't need 'em. 785 00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:06,393 Just do the Electoral College math. 786 00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:10,259 If we take Texas, California, Florida, Michigan, and New York, 787 00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:12,478 we can cobble together enough of the forever-blue 788 00:39:12,558 --> 00:39:14,308 to make it to 270. 789 00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:17,686 The VP is a real job now. 790 00:39:18,397 --> 00:39:20,517 You could spearhead my environmental campaign. 791 00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:22,317 And what is that? 792 00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,702 I don't have one yet. 793 00:39:25,237 --> 00:39:26,357 That's why I need you. 794 00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,032 Why else? 795 00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:30,696 Honestly, I don't know exactly. 796 00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:33,615 I just know I saw you at that debate, 797 00:39:34,705 --> 00:39:37,035 and I have not stopped thinking about you since. 798 00:39:39,794 --> 00:39:41,674 Shall we go get a shrimp cocktail? 799 00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:52,764 All right. 800 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:04,567 We tried it without you. 801 00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:07,109 And it was like clapping with one hand. 802 00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:11,525 - We love you, William. - Well, I love you, 803 00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:15,792 which means I would never get in the way of all your dreams coming true. 804 00:40:15,871 --> 00:40:17,871 I am so tired 805 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:21,342 of having my personal life judged by a different criteria 806 00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:22,629 because I'm a woman. 807 00:40:22,711 --> 00:40:27,471 If a man came out and proudly proclaimed that he was in a polyamorous relationship 808 00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:30,050 with two brilliant and beautiful women, 809 00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:32,636 the public and the press would call him a hero. 810 00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:34,141 Remember Warren Buffet? 811 00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:37,023 Wait, are you saying you... You want to go public? 812 00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:39,191 No, no. Not... Not yet. 813 00:40:41,355 --> 00:40:43,975 I need both of you to be my best self, 814 00:40:44,066 --> 00:40:48,146 and I need to be my best self in order to win. 815 00:40:51,323 --> 00:40:52,783 I stink of lobster. 816 00:40:56,203 --> 00:40:57,203 Kiss me. 817 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:01,289 And... melt me like butter. 818 00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:02,792 Mmm! 819 00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:14,721 Let's go. 820 00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:28,442 What does Morning Consult say? 821 00:41:28,527 --> 00:41:31,857 You've dropped another nine points. Forty-eight percent her, 19 percent you, 822 00:41:31,947 --> 00:41:34,777 - the rest undecided. - Okay, we need ideas, people, right now. 823 00:41:37,786 --> 00:41:40,366 - Hey, uh, now really isn't a good time. - I have dirt. 824 00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:44,711 Sit down. Everybody out, please. Clear the room. 825 00:41:45,127 --> 00:41:46,297 Clear the room. Thank you. 826 00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:51,344 First, I want your office. 827 00:41:52,259 --> 00:41:53,179 - What? - Your office. 828 00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:54,260 I want it. 829 00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,009 F... Fine. 830 00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:58,136 I don't know what happened, who they hired, 831 00:41:58,224 --> 00:42:01,024 but the Standish campaign is not stuck in the '90s anymore. 832 00:42:01,393 --> 00:42:03,353 They've installed state-of-the-art IT, 833 00:42:03,437 --> 00:42:05,807 they've hired a K-Street consulting firm, 834 00:42:06,273 --> 00:42:08,113 who's rented out a whole floor for social media 835 00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:10,112 and another for the new data team. 836 00:42:10,569 --> 00:42:11,989 - We're fucked. - How is that dirt? 837 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,071 Patience. 838 00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:14,657 But I've gotten in deep. 839 00:42:15,407 --> 00:42:18,447 I gave Hadassah and Dede each one of those little waving cats 840 00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:19,656 you get in Chinatown, 841 00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:23,419 but the little cats are holding campaign signs. 842 00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:24,749 They loved them. 843 00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:27,963 Dede took two, one for her office and one for her home. 844 00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:29,085 Oh, my God, you didn't. 845 00:42:30,464 --> 00:42:31,514 Yes, I did. 846 00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:34,302 Inside each cat is a wireless transmitter. 847 00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:36,795 - Yes, but then, what is he? - I'm bugging them. 848 00:42:36,887 --> 00:42:39,217 And with the help of my little Chinese kitten friends, 849 00:42:39,306 --> 00:42:40,426 I've learned two things... 850 00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:43,346 Okay, hold on, hold on. We are bugging our political opponents now? 851 00:42:43,435 --> 00:42:45,635 Everybody remember how well that went for Richard Nixon? 852 00:42:46,063 --> 00:42:47,063 Okay? 853 00:42:47,439 --> 00:42:50,189 Look, what... whatever you found out, I don't want to know. 854 00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:53,755 Oh, quit pretending you're not as slimy as the rest of them. 855 00:42:53,779 --> 00:42:56,159 Do us all a favor and just embrace it. 856 00:42:56,949 --> 00:42:58,619 Hadassah broke up the throuple, 857 00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:00,411 but they're secretly still boning. 858 00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:01,911 Also, 859 00:43:02,162 --> 00:43:04,672 Dede Standish doesn't care about this race. 860 00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:08,088 Tino McCutcheon is running for president, 861 00:43:08,168 --> 00:43:11,798 and he's considering her for VP. 862 00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:20,509 Also, I'd like $5,000 in cash by the end of the day. 863 00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:31,029 Which of these do you think is most you? 864 00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:32,738 Spectacle over substance, 865 00:43:32,818 --> 00:43:34,488 or integrity über alles? 866 00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:37,571 Uh, which one sells more albums? 867 00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:39,195 That's my guy. 868 00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:41,953 Is this really gonna be my eternal question: Who am I? 869 00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:43,980 Shouldn't I have that figured out? 870 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:46,502 Am I jazz? Am I hip-hop? 871 00:43:47,124 --> 00:43:48,124 Opera? 872 00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:51,666 You know, my mother says I need to be my authentic self to win, 873 00:43:51,754 --> 00:43:53,594 but I still have no idea what that is. 874 00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:55,843 - Are you winning? - No. 875 00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,337 Then you're not being your authentic self. 876 00:43:59,261 --> 00:44:01,421 Okay, well, I shouldn't have to rely on polling numbers 877 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,602 to judge if I'm being true to myself or not. 878 00:44:03,682 --> 00:44:05,352 That would make me a terrible person. 879 00:44:05,851 --> 00:44:08,851 Empty. Just completely unable to have any sense of self 880 00:44:08,937 --> 00:44:11,437 without relying on outside influences. 881 00:44:11,523 --> 00:44:13,903 Or maybe it would just confirm you as a true politician. 882 00:44:15,402 --> 00:44:16,862 Do you want to do good in the world? 883 00:44:16,945 --> 00:44:20,195 Is your motivation for governing to empower the powerless? 884 00:44:20,282 --> 00:44:21,282 Yes! 885 00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:23,367 Doesn't sound like a terrible person to me. 886 00:44:26,413 --> 00:44:29,463 I think you just need to stop being so ashamed of wanting to win. 887 00:44:31,126 --> 00:44:33,336 It's time you stopped seeing the world as binary. 888 00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:35,628 Right and wrong. 889 00:44:36,173 --> 00:44:37,263 Good and bad. 890 00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:39,717 Doesn't sound like you. 891 00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:42,220 I'm not me. 892 00:44:42,721 --> 00:44:45,601 I'm the little voice in your head that helps you be you. 893 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:47,940 And that true you 894 00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:49,228 changes over time. 895 00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:53,324 As you get older, the world gets more complicated. 896 00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:56,357 You have to get more complicated too. 897 00:44:57,736 --> 00:44:59,566 Well, I can't change the world if I don't win. 898 00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,577 So, how is not doing everything in my power to win 899 00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:08,873 the decent thing to do? 900 00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:10,373 Huh? 901 00:45:10,874 --> 00:45:13,294 How could it be a sin to... To destroy the powerful 902 00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:14,797 in order to lift up the powerless? 903 00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:15,878 Yeah. 904 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:18,840 I'm a winner. 905 00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:22,005 That is... That is my authentic self. 906 00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:24,137 Excuse me? 907 00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:26,388 Nothing. Sorry. I have to go. 908 00:45:34,773 --> 00:45:37,627 There's a certain manner in which I intended to run my campaign. 909 00:45:37,651 --> 00:45:41,571 You know, I... I had an idea of the candidate that I wanted to be. 910 00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:42,994 Very polite, 911 00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:47,619 stick to the issues, no dirty politics, but, you know, I realized something. 912 00:45:47,703 --> 00:45:48,703 That's... 913 00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:51,749 That is just not me, right? 914 00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:55,042 I... The authentic me had something fall into his authentic lap. 915 00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:58,801 A lurid little story about a certain candidate and her throuple. 916 00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:02,221 Now, the old Payton would've buried it, 917 00:46:02,301 --> 00:46:05,391 but the authentic Payton is going to release it. 918 00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:07,676 I have a press release all ready to go 919 00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:08,925 and a call in to Page Six. 920 00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:10,056 This is outlandish... 921 00:46:10,142 --> 00:46:11,442 But, but, but, but... 922 00:46:11,518 --> 00:46:13,938 Liar. She saw you kissing, and you know it's true. 923 00:46:14,646 --> 00:46:17,226 What agreement can we come to to make this go away? 924 00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:19,276 Oh, see, that's more like it. 925 00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:23,277 Now, Senator, I know that you have visions for a larger political career. 926 00:46:23,363 --> 00:46:25,323 I know that you wanna be the vice president. 927 00:46:25,824 --> 00:46:28,414 And that can still very much happen if you drop out of this race, 928 00:46:28,494 --> 00:46:30,204 - citing medical reasons. - Oh. 929 00:46:30,829 --> 00:46:33,619 Now... Your husband will have a heart attack. 930 00:46:33,707 --> 00:46:36,837 There's a cardiologist at Columbia. He's already drawn up all the paperwork. 931 00:46:36,919 --> 00:46:38,679 You and I will hold a joint press conference. 932 00:46:38,712 --> 00:46:40,842 You will drop out of the race, citing Marcus's health. 933 00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:42,513 You endorse me to replace you. 934 00:46:42,591 --> 00:46:44,131 The throuple story... dies. 935 00:46:44,676 --> 00:46:46,846 And you're still well on your way to the VP slot. 936 00:46:47,846 --> 00:46:50,096 - How's that sound? - You insufferable little prick! 937 00:46:51,099 --> 00:46:53,519 Ooh, reminder, she was in a throuple, and I have evidence. 938 00:46:55,103 --> 00:46:58,483 You really are an evil little troll. 939 00:46:58,565 --> 00:47:00,525 No, really, I want to win. 940 00:47:02,903 --> 00:47:06,163 Give me what I want, and you get to win too. 941 00:47:11,787 --> 00:47:12,867 Excuse me. 942 00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:21,263 - Are you sure, darling? - Of course. 943 00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:23,838 Of course. It was wrong of me to ask you to drop out, 944 00:47:23,924 --> 00:47:26,224 and... it won't be necessary. 945 00:47:27,344 --> 00:47:28,434 We're both gonna win. 946 00:47:29,179 --> 00:47:31,389 - I love you, Mom. - I love you. 947 00:47:36,937 --> 00:47:37,937 Everything okay? 948 00:47:39,064 --> 00:47:40,194 Couldn't be better. 949 00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:04,668 I imagine that was hard. But don't pack it up just yet. 950 00:48:05,465 --> 00:48:07,045 Payton was in a threesome too.