1 00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,484 [woman] I felt like... 2 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,054 like you were... 3 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:25,124 you wanted to act like nothing happened and 4 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,260 everything was fine 5 00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:30,329 and we had to pretend 6 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:33,599 we could get our life back. 7 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,804 But, actually, I... 8 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:42,441 I really suffered from what happened and, 9 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:48,047 and I think we shouldn't pretend that it's OK and... 10 00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:56,588 and it hurts. 11 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,325 And I... 12 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,129 - [water trickling] - [soft music playing] 13 00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:47,206 [woman voiceover] It's not like I want to be like this. 14 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,841 I don't want to be empty. 15 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,578 That's the problem though. 16 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:56,415 I was on full and wanted to be empty 17 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:59,151 and now I'm empty and I want to be full. 18 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,372 [man on phone] Hey. 19 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,907 I have a bunch of meetings today 20 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,276 so I won't be able to make our lunch 21 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,911 but I will make a reservation for tonight 22 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,747 and have Lucy send you the details. 23 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:29,781 OK? 24 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,216 Love you. 25 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,589 [woman voiceover] It's easier for you. 26 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,758 You laugh at the same things, 27 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,894 play racquetball with your friends. 28 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,798 You have a manageable, normal sadness. 29 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,836 I don't know how to forgive you for that. 30 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,409 Hey, Lucy, could you please call the restaurant 31 00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:00,946 and change the reservation for four for tonight? 32 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,216 Great, thanks. 33 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:11,890 [woman voiceover] I never liked making long-term plans. 34 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,393 It felt like looking down at a road 35 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:17,196 and knowing what's at the end. 36 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:21,233 I used to be able to see the end of the road clearly. 37 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:25,370 Did my body simply reject that plan? 38 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,843 [Lucy] Is there anything else I can do for you? 39 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:08,647 Yes. Please, could you call down to the front desk 40 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,850 and let them know that my friend, Greg, is coming. 41 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,918 Just send them up. 42 00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:16,021 Oh, never mind. 43 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:18,390 Hi. I'm Greg. 44 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,891 Hi, Greg, I'm Lucy. 45 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:20,892 Lucy. 46 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,427 Very nice to meet you. 47 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,329 Thank you, Lucy. 48 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,275 Has Marin seen her? 49 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,776 Yep. 50 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,944 Goodness. 51 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:40,912 I mean, the legs? 52 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,914 Everything about her. 53 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,751 Where'd you find her, on Eros? 54 00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,619 I mean, seriously, how do you get any amount of work done 55 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,488 with that sitting 20 feet from your desk? 56 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,923 If Emily knew I had an assistant that looked like that, 57 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,925 - she'd kill me. - [chuckling] 58 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,327 Is she single? 59 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,928 Why do you care, you're married. 60 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,497 Yeah. 61 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,603 [camera snapping] 62 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,314 Ah! 63 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,982 So glad to see you. 64 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,818 I have to finish pulling a couple looks. 65 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,886 You can help me. 66 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,056 [Marin] That's pretty. 67 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,659 Yes. 68 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:31,697 So sexy. 69 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,935 God, I wanna come back as her in my next life. 70 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,470 What legs. 71 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,872 [Isabel] Jesus, so beautiful. 72 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,408 Oh, one second. 73 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,850 Hey, do you mind if I jump in real quick? 74 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,051 OK, looks fantastic. 75 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,486 Just want to... 76 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,425 Thank you. 77 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,564 You wanna try one on? 78 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:06,665 They look so real. 79 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,134 You'd look so good in that one. 80 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,470 Hey, do you have plans tonight? 81 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,505 I'm here all day but I'm hanging out with Sasha 82 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,840 and a few of her friends at a bar downtown. 83 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:15,907 Come with. 84 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,576 No, I have dinner with Mark. 85 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,478 But any other night, I'm OK. 86 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,814 Tomorrow, it's Francesca's birthday. 87 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,449 I know that you've heard me talk about her 88 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,953 and she's definitely heard me talk about you. 89 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,021 - Yeah, sure. - Excellent. 90 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,391 Ugh, I need a real night out. 91 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,625 Come on, you have real nights out 92 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,427 like every other night of the weak. 93 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:36,661 Oh, my God. [laughing] 94 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,163 Are you ready to laugh? 95 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,564 Uh-huh. 96 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,467 So, you remember that erotica book 97 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,469 I wanted you to read a few years ago? 98 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:45,971 You know, 99 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,005 my brain. 100 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,174 "The Story of the Eye." 101 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,876 You're gonna die. 102 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,779 So last night I go for drinks with this guy that 103 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,114 Daniella wanted to set me up with a while back. 104 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,449 He's cute, whatever. 105 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,784 He can't keep up. 106 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,685 So we end up at his place 107 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:05,090 and he's got these cat drawings hanging up in his hallway. 108 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,526 So I ask him about them 109 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,862 and, of course, I mention "The Story of the Eye," 110 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:14,533 and he just looks at me, gets up and he leaves. 111 00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,501 Comes back two seconds later 112 00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,970 and he's got this saucepan of milk. 113 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:23,074 He places it on the floor and tells me to get undressed. 114 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,776 [laughing] 115 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,445 You know me, I'll do anything for a good story. 116 00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,447 So I'm like, "Well, OK." 117 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,016 So I take off all my clothes and he goes, 118 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:35,520 "Be a good little kitty cat and dip that pussy in the milk 119 00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:38,857 and crawl towards me so I can lick it off." 120 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,459 No. 121 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,093 "And don't forget to purr." 122 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,095 [laughing] 123 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,664 Oh my God. 124 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,799 The best part, he has to use almond milk 125 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,168 because he lactose intolerant. 126 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,704 Jesus Christ, I'm completely traumatized. 127 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,739 I'm ready to go back to women. 128 00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,142 Ugh. 129 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,110 Aw. I thought you would think that was funny. 130 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,479 I do. 131 00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:01,480 I did. 132 00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:02,614 I am sorry, I'm... 133 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:05,951 You need a good night out, girl. 134 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,519 OK. 135 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,054 I'm gonna leave you, this is beautiful. 136 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,689 - Thank you. - Congrats. 137 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,857 And so, tomorrow? 138 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:12,924 Mm-hmm. 139 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,960 - See you soon. - Bye. 140 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,865 [Marin voiceover] Maybe if I pretended I'm happy 141 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,867 that would convince you that I'm OK 142 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:25,070 and you'd stop asking me if I feel better. 143 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:29,908 But constantly asking me is making me feel worse. 144 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,143 ["Breath Control" by John Forté playing] 145 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,982 [woman] ♪ Have life inside your body ♪ 146 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,186 ♪ Have life inside your body ♪ 147 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,255 ♪ Now, now ♪ 148 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,057 ♪ Have life inside your body ♪ 149 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,859 [man] ♪ Respectable appeal, right ♪ 150 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,160 ♪ This is something you should feel, right ♪ 151 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,829 ♪ Like a killer in the B ♪ 152 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,264 ♪ Close your eyes in the movie ♪ 153 00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:54,099 ♪ The way things are ordered ♪ 154 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,134 ♪ You remember me and those killers from the B ♪ 155 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:59,237 ♪ Study life in plain sight, my plain's late ♪ 156 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,274 ♪ Living life, you look like you gained weight ♪ 157 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:04,042 ♪ Here and now with the same date ♪ 158 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,712 ♪ Too fast to bring down the frame rate ♪ 159 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,752 ♪ Rest your lawless your breath control ♪ 160 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,120 ♪ Far from innocent ♪ 161 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,888 ♪ In a sense, it left your soul ♪ 162 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,557 ♪ Rest your lawless your breath control ♪ 163 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,925 ♪ Far from innocent ♪ 164 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,693 ♪ In a sense, it left your soul ♪ 165 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,662 ♪ Rest your lawless your breath control ♪ 166 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,063 ♪ Far from innocent ♪ 167 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,965 ♪ In a sense, it left your soul ♪ 168 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,200 [woman] And you feel the tide of your breath. 169 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:36,708 Hi, yeah, can I place an order for delivery? 170 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:37,976 Yeah, Marin. 171 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,164 [phone chiming] 172 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,368 [doorbell ringing] 173 00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:37,769 Yeah! 174 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,949 Thank you. I don't need change. 175 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,720 I don't know what to do, man. 176 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,856 She just doesn't want to talk about it. 177 00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,792 You guys still spending time together? 178 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,861 Yeah, we're having dinner tonight 179 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:06,965 but I guarantee you I will be going home alone. 180 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:10,335 I can't touch her without her pulling away. 181 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,836 What happened to Emily, 182 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,238 she acted like everything was fine 183 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,807 then had a meltdown three weeks later. 184 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,309 We used to be able to talk about anything. 185 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,311 Now everything I say is wrong. 186 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,913 Just keep giving her space. 187 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,349 She sees a therapist, talks to Isabel. 188 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,418 I'm sure she'll be OK... 189 00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:27,919 eventually. 190 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:33,358 [Marin voiceover] A painter will layer a canvas, 191 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,993 paint on paint, 192 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,429 until she finds the texture she was wants, 193 00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:41,366 the shape and desired elimination. 194 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,368 Is that what I'm doing? 195 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,870 Am I painting the layers 196 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,173 or am I trying to strip them off? 197 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,110 [phone chiming] 198 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,947 [Marin] Shit. 199 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,025 [laughing] 200 00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,794 [man] Can we have some more standup? 201 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,395 No, I told him... 202 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:47,332 [muffled speaking] 203 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,469 [ominous music playing] 204 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,843 [Marin voiceover] I can't tell if I'm dreaming 205 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,278 and everyone is awake, 206 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,414 or if am I awake and they're all dreaming. 207 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,018 Sometimes I just want to scream. 208 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,054 If I did, would you hear me? 209 00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:13,057 Is my silence comforting to you? 210 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,432 [man] This thing is perfect, right? 211 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,434 It can run with you, 212 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,470 it can hunt, 213 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,504 if you did a lot of hunting. 214 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,006 [woman] Maybe. 215 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,407 [man] But, like, it can be a watchdog. 216 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,176 Whatever you want, the thing is perfect. 217 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,912 But we all know that Jasmine is not gonna be happy 218 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,948 with just any Australian Labradoodle, right? 219 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,585 It has to be a chocolate... 220 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,321 Mini Australian Labradoodle, right? 221 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,457 From this one breeder in South Carolina. 222 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,827 [muffled speaking] 223 00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,475 Hey. 224 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,978 I'm so, so sorry. 225 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,914 When Ben and I went through this two years ago, 226 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,282 it was heartbreaking. 227 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,017 I just couldn't even get out of bed, 228 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:16,020 so I totally know where you're coming from. 229 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,189 But it helps to go out and be out with friends 230 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,524 like you are now, really. 231 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:22,460 So don't sweat it, you'll be fine. 232 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,896 If you ever need to talk. 233 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,500 [Marin] Jasmine's your friend. 234 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,069 So what she had a miscarriage. 235 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,438 So does that make her a therapist? 236 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,975 Does that make her my therapist? 237 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,643 Who does she think she is to just like 238 00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,278 casually bring up my miscarriage 239 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,546 when you and Ben were talking about whatever... 240 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,381 We weren't talking about... 241 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,384 Who do you think you're telling her about my miscarriage? 242 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,518 Who else knows? 243 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,920 Greg? 244 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,188 The rest of your friends? Lucy? 245 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,957 - Mar, she cares about you. - Oh. 246 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,292 She cares about us and she was just trying to help. 247 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,526 Would this have been a coincidence? 248 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,995 Look, I am just... 249 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,630 You know what, I don't even care. 250 00:14:58,632 --> 00:15:00,064 I'm going home. 251 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:13,278 [clicking] 252 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,693 [rustling] 253 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,105 [buzzing] 254 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,109 [sighing] 255 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,471 [Marin] I can't even imagine how I would start a conversation 256 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,673 and then when he tries to start it, 257 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,142 my ears start to close and I... 258 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,578 I just don't have any interest. 259 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,180 [woman] But you do realize that this isn't gonna end 260 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,049 until you open up. 261 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,721 Yeah but he doesn't get what it is like for me. 262 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,323 [woman] Well maybe because he doesn't know 263 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,191 you already had two abortions. 264 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,764 [traffic commotion] 265 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,668 You want me to open up to him. 266 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,470 You want me to let him in. 267 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,209 How can I do that if I don't even understand 268 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,579 why I'm grieving for a baby I didn't even want? 269 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,616 [woman] You've suffered a very traumatic experience 270 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:35,219 and isolating yourself is not gonna make it easier for him. 271 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,624 So, what, you want me to go and say, 272 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,827 "Hey, Mark, stop looking at me with those sad puppy eyes. 273 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,495 I didn't even want a baby. 274 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:47,198 I just did it because you wanted one so badly?" 275 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,251 It's really not of interest. Sorry. 276 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,719 Sorry to bother you. 277 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,721 There's a woman downstairs named Michelle. 278 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,623 She wants to come up. 279 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:13,658 Yeah, that's my mom. 280 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,159 You can send her up. 281 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,833 Hey. 282 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:24,235 Yeah, sorry. 283 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,503 What were you saying? 284 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,807 OK. 285 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,676 Sweetheart, get off the phone and give me a hug! 286 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,678 I'll have to call you back. OK, bye. 287 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,546 - Hi. - Hi, honey. 288 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,849 Listen, I know I'm early. 289 00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:39,784 Can I get you anything to drink? 290 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,286 Oh no, we're fine, dear. 291 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,521 Thank you, Lucy. 292 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,724 I need to talk to you. 293 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:56,701 So, 294 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,736 how is she? 295 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,641 She's great. She's almost back to normal. 296 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,411 Where do you wanna eat? 297 00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:11,182 You forget, I raised you and three daughters. 298 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,185 Is she still not talking to you? 299 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,889 I know what I'm doing, OK? 300 00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:21,392 I know Mar and I am fixing this. 301 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,694 "Fixing this?" 302 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:24,795 She lost a child. 303 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:27,598 You lost a child. 304 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,802 This isn't a distressed debt buyout. 305 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,304 This is your family. 306 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,672 You know what I mean. 307 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,509 Is she still seeing her shrink? 308 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,546 Yes... I think. 309 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,849 Well maybe you two should go see someone together. 310 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,617 Or I could talk to her. 311 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,519 No. 312 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,188 Thank you. 313 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,590 No, you're not talking to her about any of this. 314 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,959 Actually, 315 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,561 I'm serious, Mom. 316 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,787 [Marin voiceover] I'm tired of being in my head. 317 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:26,857 When I look at myself, I see negative space, 318 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,659 everything that's missing. 319 00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:33,731 I wish I could see myself through someone else's eyes. 320 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,572 [crowd chattering] 321 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,875 - Hi. - Hey. 322 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,410 Look at you. 323 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,846 Marin, this is Francesca. 324 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,615 Hi. 325 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,683 Jesus, I can't believe you guys still haven't met. 326 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,285 Yeah, I know, it's great to meet you. 327 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,853 I've heard so much from her. 328 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,822 Well, thank you for letting me crash your party. 329 00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,023 Of course. 330 00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:01,359 I also need you to meet. 331 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:02,627 Remember, this is... 332 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:04,595 [all] Hey. 333 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,930 And shots. 334 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,965 We definitely need birthday shots. 335 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,767 [muffled speaking] 336 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,875 On me, yeah. 337 00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:18,909 [woman] Shots, ladies. 338 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,378 Yeah. 339 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,985 [people chattering] 340 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:34,025 - Hey. - Oh. 341 00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:35,660 Oh, yeah, 342 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,862 I tried but Marin has this birthday thing 343 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:41,032 with Isabel tonight, so I do not think she's gonna make it. 344 00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:42,867 All right. 345 00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:45,970 Hi. 346 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,072 [people chattering] 347 00:21:58,084 --> 00:22:00,451 [Marin voiceover] When love is new, 348 00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:02,053 the world disappears. 349 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:05,456 Nothing else seems to matter. 350 00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:08,092 You are entirely inside your body 351 00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:10,494 and outside of it at the same time. 352 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,931 I want that feeling again. 353 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,437 You didn't tell me she was that beautiful. 354 00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:21,872 [giggling] 355 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,786 [cheering] 356 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:52,770 [Marin voiceover] I just want to touch someone new. 357 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:56,374 We have too much history. 358 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:59,076 Will I always feel this way? I don't know. 359 00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:04,048 But now I need someone who isn't yearning for who I used to be. 360 00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:50,194 What would you do if you were single again? 361 00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:52,196 What would I do? 362 00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:53,731 I don't know. 363 00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:57,701 I just want to feel desirable again. 364 00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:15,586 Is this seat taken? 365 00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:21,225 Hi, I'm Rachel. 366 00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:22,927 Hi, Rachel, I'm Mark. 367 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:24,628 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 368 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,764 - Hey, I'm Greg. - Hi. 369 00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:29,633 You don't wanna waste your time talking to this one. 370 00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:32,069 What does that mean? 371 00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:34,071 That means that I have a girlfriend. 372 00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:36,040 But why isn't she here right now? 373 00:24:36,042 --> 00:24:38,042 ♪ Truth be told ♪ 374 00:24:38,044 --> 00:24:40,978 ♪ What do you know of me ♪ 375 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:45,616 ♪ Love, your love will grow for me ♪ 376 00:24:45,618 --> 00:24:48,185 ["Your Love Will Grow For Me" by Sophie Hiller playing] 377 00:25:39,605 --> 00:25:40,971 [phone beeping] 378 00:25:40,973 --> 00:25:42,139 [Marin on phone] I know that you're going 379 00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:43,807 to Connecticut today. 380 00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:46,710 Please, say hello to your mother and sisters. 381 00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:47,945 Have a good time. 382 00:26:11,938 --> 00:26:13,771 [wings fluttering] 383 00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:37,161 [Marin voiceover] This is not the life I would have chosen for myself 384 00:26:37,163 --> 00:26:42,800 but you were loving and sweet and you wanted it so much. 385 00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:46,637 It was like giving a part of myself to your dream. 386 00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:15,966 When you're in pain and afraid of something 387 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:18,669 you'll do anything to make the pain stop. 388 00:27:19,872 --> 00:27:22,406 I've succeeded in making the pain stop 389 00:27:23,743 --> 00:27:25,976 but it just left me numb. 390 00:27:30,082 --> 00:27:32,016 [piano music plays] 391 00:28:02,748 --> 00:28:04,114 Thank you. 392 00:28:08,354 --> 00:28:11,455 [phone chiming] 393 00:28:13,325 --> 00:28:14,925 What? 394 00:28:19,331 --> 00:28:21,832 [people chattering] 395 00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:51,495 [sighing] 396 00:29:09,482 --> 00:29:11,148 [man] Hi, I'm Jonas. 397 00:29:15,321 --> 00:29:16,854 Anna. 398 00:29:16,856 --> 00:29:19,289 [Jonas] Hey, it's nice to meet you. 399 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,824 You too. 400 00:29:23,462 --> 00:29:25,829 So, um... 401 00:29:25,831 --> 00:29:28,365 hotel bar, Friday night, all alone. 402 00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:32,369 You're not working, are you? 403 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:37,407 Were you waiting for someone? 404 00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:38,776 Professional, maybe? 405 00:29:38,778 --> 00:29:41,411 [laughing] 406 00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:45,516 - No. - No? 407 00:29:45,518 --> 00:29:48,485 Actually I am... 408 00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:51,855 I'm in town for a night for my friend's gallery show. 409 00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:54,958 It's nearby. 410 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,460 You should get a drink and then come with me. 411 00:29:56,462 --> 00:29:58,061 What do you want? 412 00:30:02,067 --> 00:30:03,567 Well, 413 00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:06,303 I'll have a tequila 414 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,172 with soda and lime. 415 00:30:08,174 --> 00:30:10,474 Mostly with soda and lime, actually. 416 00:30:12,812 --> 00:30:16,213 Hey, sorry, can we get a lime and soda 417 00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:18,448 with just a splash of tequila, please? 418 00:30:18,450 --> 00:30:19,817 Thank you. 419 00:30:21,554 --> 00:30:24,388 So when are you going back to Paris? 420 00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:27,457 What makes you think I live in Paris? 421 00:30:27,459 --> 00:30:29,493 [laughing] 422 00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:31,595 No, I live here. 423 00:30:31,597 --> 00:30:33,330 Yeah. 424 00:30:36,468 --> 00:30:38,302 Thank you. 425 00:30:38,304 --> 00:30:39,903 Well. 426 00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:46,877 Um, do you like art? 427 00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:48,212 Mm-hmm. 428 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:52,282 Yes, I went to art school. 429 00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:55,886 So I prefer looking at it to analyzing it. 430 00:30:56,589 --> 00:30:57,955 Don't worry... 431 00:30:57,957 --> 00:31:00,290 [inaudible dialogue] 432 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,373 [chattering] 433 00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:27,584 Why don't you take a look around while I go get us some drinks? 434 00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:32,356 Oh, and really try not to steal anything. 435 00:31:32,358 --> 00:31:33,390 OK. 436 00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:35,092 [chuckling] 437 00:32:00,653 --> 00:32:02,219 Oh, thank you. 438 00:32:02,221 --> 00:32:04,121 You know that's me, right? 439 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,690 Yes. 440 00:32:06,692 --> 00:32:08,959 - You can't see my Speedo - [laughing] 441 00:32:08,961 --> 00:32:11,395 in this picture but it was... 442 00:32:11,397 --> 00:32:12,496 Tiny. 443 00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:14,598 It was pretty compromising. 444 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,500 [footsteps thumping] 445 00:32:17,636 --> 00:32:19,536 Oh, hey, you wanna meet my friend? 446 00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:21,138 Oh yes, sure. 447 00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:26,109 [laughing] 448 00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:27,544 Thank you guys for coming, OK? 449 00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:28,412 Take care. 450 00:32:28,414 --> 00:32:29,947 Sorry. 451 00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,181 - Hey, man. - How're you doing, man? 452 00:32:31,183 --> 00:32:32,482 - Good to see you! - Good to see you. 453 00:32:32,484 --> 00:32:33,717 - Yeah, thanks, man. - Congratulations. 454 00:32:33,719 --> 00:32:35,585 Thanks for coming, I appreciate it. 455 00:32:35,587 --> 00:32:36,687 - Hey, there's somebody you should meet. - Hi, I'm Anna. 456 00:32:36,689 --> 00:32:38,188 Anna, nice to meet you. 457 00:32:38,190 --> 00:32:39,256 You taking care of this guy, here? 458 00:32:39,258 --> 00:32:40,324 Because you gotta watch him. 459 00:32:40,326 --> 00:32:41,391 No, strangely, she's not. 460 00:32:41,393 --> 00:32:42,359 No, yeah. 461 00:32:42,361 --> 00:32:43,627 You know. 462 00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:45,062 Could you take care of me please? 463 00:32:45,064 --> 00:32:46,163 No. Your photos are beautiful. 464 00:32:46,165 --> 00:32:47,064 Thank you, I appreciate that. 465 00:32:47,066 --> 00:32:47,998 They're OK. 466 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,733 - Yeah. - Well. 467 00:32:49,735 --> 00:32:52,169 And I guess it's a long way from Bolivia to here, isn't it? 468 00:32:52,171 --> 00:32:53,403 You tell her about everything? 469 00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,439 - Not everything. - Thank you. 470 00:32:55,441 --> 00:32:57,441 Excuse me. 471 00:32:57,443 --> 00:32:58,742 OK, all right. 472 00:32:58,744 --> 00:33:00,210 Sorry, I'll be right back. 473 00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:01,345 - OK. - Sure. 474 00:33:01,347 --> 00:33:02,412 Thank you. 475 00:33:02,414 --> 00:33:03,613 He's nice. 476 00:33:04,683 --> 00:33:06,249 Yeah, he's really nice. 477 00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:08,051 You know what, let's get out of here. 478 00:33:08,053 --> 00:33:09,653 OK, wait, no. Wait. 479 00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:12,990 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Let's go, let's go, let's go. 480 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:18,562 So, did you get stood up 481 00:33:18,564 --> 00:33:22,299 or do you just like hanging out in hotel bars all alone? 482 00:33:22,301 --> 00:33:26,036 Yeah, no, I don't usually hang out in hotel bars alone. 483 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:28,472 Is he your boyfriend? 484 00:33:28,474 --> 00:33:30,240 No. 485 00:33:30,242 --> 00:33:33,377 A friend from out of town. 486 00:33:33,379 --> 00:33:35,612 His flight got messed up. 487 00:33:35,614 --> 00:33:38,648 Or he just flaked, I don't know. It doesn't matter. 488 00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:39,783 Is he your ex? 489 00:33:40,652 --> 00:33:42,652 Something like that. 490 00:33:42,654 --> 00:33:44,388 You ask a lot of questions. 491 00:33:44,390 --> 00:33:46,056 I don't ask a lot of questions. 492 00:33:46,058 --> 00:33:48,025 I ask, you know, just like the good questions. 493 00:33:48,027 --> 00:33:49,459 Yeah. 494 00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:51,028 So were you planning on sleeping with him? 495 00:33:51,030 --> 00:33:53,130 What? 496 00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:55,298 You don't look like you're dressed 497 00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:56,733 to catch up with an old friend. 498 00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:58,702 You look like you're dressed for a date. 499 00:34:02,174 --> 00:34:06,376 I wouldn't say I'd plan on it 500 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:09,479 but I wouldn't say I plan on much the last few months. 501 00:34:11,250 --> 00:34:13,083 What does that mean? 502 00:34:14,253 --> 00:34:16,453 OK, tell me something about yourself. 503 00:34:19,458 --> 00:34:22,759 OK, well, would it be too forward to say 504 00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:27,264 that I really, really, 505 00:34:27,266 --> 00:34:29,199 really wanna kiss you? 506 00:34:29,201 --> 00:34:30,233 [chuckling] 507 00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,668 Don't spoil everything. 508 00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:34,137 - Oh. - OK, where are we going? 509 00:34:34,139 --> 00:34:36,706 We're gonna get another drink. 510 00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:39,476 I don't really drink. 511 00:34:39,478 --> 00:34:41,478 I'll decide where we're going. 512 00:34:43,082 --> 00:34:44,681 OK. 513 00:34:44,683 --> 00:34:47,751 - [crowd commotion] - [somber beat music playing] 514 00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:01,364 - This is great. - Yeah. 515 00:35:01,366 --> 00:35:02,833 [Jonas] This was a good decision. 516 00:35:02,835 --> 00:35:05,735 Hey, could we get an order of fries, please? 517 00:35:05,737 --> 00:35:07,337 Yes. 518 00:35:07,339 --> 00:35:10,273 And two tequilas on the rocks, please. 519 00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:11,641 And some water. 520 00:35:11,643 --> 00:35:13,110 Thank you. 521 00:35:15,547 --> 00:35:16,746 OK, so. 522 00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:18,548 So. 523 00:35:18,550 --> 00:35:19,583 - So. - So. 524 00:35:19,585 --> 00:35:20,550 [giggling] 525 00:35:20,552 --> 00:35:21,751 Where's home for you? 526 00:35:21,753 --> 00:35:24,621 Home? Where's home? 527 00:35:25,691 --> 00:35:28,425 - Between L.A. and Chicago. - Oh. 528 00:35:28,427 --> 00:35:31,261 L.A. by choice and Chicago by. 529 00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:34,531 I guess, necessity. 530 00:35:34,533 --> 00:35:35,732 Hmm. 531 00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:41,204 Do you like my hair? 532 00:35:41,206 --> 00:35:43,173 - Mm-hmm. - I don't usually have bangs 533 00:35:43,175 --> 00:35:46,610 but my hairdresser just put them in to see if I like them. 534 00:35:46,612 --> 00:35:49,779 - Do you like them? - Mm-hmm, I do actually. 535 00:35:49,781 --> 00:35:51,348 I think I'm gonna keep it. 536 00:35:51,350 --> 00:35:53,683 You should definitely keep it. 537 00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:54,618 Thank you. 538 00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:55,752 Thank you. 539 00:35:55,754 --> 00:35:56,887 Where's home for you? 540 00:35:56,889 --> 00:35:58,622 Oh, well, 541 00:35:58,624 --> 00:36:00,924 I grew up in Paris, so that will always be home 542 00:36:00,926 --> 00:36:02,726 but my mom is American 543 00:36:02,728 --> 00:36:06,163 and I lived in Tribeca for a long time now. 544 00:36:06,165 --> 00:36:08,165 So, I guess that's home. 545 00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:09,499 Huh. 546 00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:13,336 Oh, God, OK. 547 00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:14,504 [clears throat] 548 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:15,805 Salty. 549 00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:18,575 "Salty." [speaking French] 550 00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:22,812 Ugh. 551 00:36:22,814 --> 00:36:23,947 [moaning] 552 00:36:23,949 --> 00:36:25,949 Oh, my God. 553 00:36:25,951 --> 00:36:27,651 Yes. 554 00:36:31,256 --> 00:36:33,323 Do you live with your boyfriend? 555 00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:36,660 Do you live with yours? 556 00:36:38,664 --> 00:36:40,764 [laughing] 557 00:36:40,766 --> 00:36:42,399 My kid is in Chicago. 558 00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:43,366 Oh. 559 00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:45,268 And my work's in L.A. 560 00:36:45,270 --> 00:36:46,903 Necessity. I get it. 561 00:36:46,905 --> 00:36:50,607 I got a girl pregnant and now I got an 11 year old boy 562 00:36:50,609 --> 00:36:53,944 and a lot of... [sighs] 563 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,515 - air miles. - [chuckling] 564 00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:00,483 Well I don't live with my boyfriend. 565 00:37:00,485 --> 00:37:01,484 No? 566 00:37:01,486 --> 00:37:02,552 Mm-hmm. 567 00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:03,987 Are you still with the mom? 568 00:37:03,989 --> 00:37:06,856 - No. - No? 569 00:37:06,858 --> 00:37:08,325 No, she's unbalanced 570 00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:12,262 and not the fun kind either, so. 571 00:37:16,235 --> 00:37:17,734 So is your ex coming back? 572 00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:20,870 Yes. 573 00:37:20,872 --> 00:37:22,572 - Yes? - Tomorrow. 574 00:37:24,276 --> 00:37:25,809 You gonna go see him? 575 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:28,812 I don't know. 576 00:37:31,984 --> 00:37:33,883 Does your boyfriend know he's coming? 577 00:37:33,885 --> 00:37:35,986 Oh, my God, OK one more question like this 578 00:37:35,988 --> 00:37:38,421 and this will start to feel like an interrogation. 579 00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:39,889 Fries. 580 00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:40,890 [waitress] Can I get you guys another round? 581 00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:41,992 No, thank you. 582 00:37:43,996 --> 00:37:45,662 No, not an interrogation. 583 00:37:45,664 --> 00:37:48,365 Just think of it more like a, I don't know, 584 00:37:49,034 --> 00:37:50,567 like an interview. 585 00:37:50,569 --> 00:37:51,635 Mmmm. 586 00:37:51,637 --> 00:37:53,336 Yeah, I'm like a journalist, 587 00:37:53,338 --> 00:37:56,473 I'm trying to get to the bottom of this mysterious, 588 00:37:56,475 --> 00:37:59,342 gorgeous half-French, 589 00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:02,012 - half-American artist. - [muffled beat music playing] 590 00:38:02,014 --> 00:38:04,381 - You get the idea. - Oh, my God. 591 00:38:04,383 --> 00:38:06,850 Oh, I love this song. I have to go dance. 592 00:38:06,852 --> 00:38:08,718 When you gotta dance, you gotta dance. 593 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:09,853 I gotta dance. 594 00:38:10,856 --> 00:38:13,456 ♪ Heavy from lying ♪ 595 00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:16,326 ♪ Empty from crying ♪ 596 00:38:16,328 --> 00:38:19,863 ♪ Ready for flying away ♪ 597 00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:25,035 ♪ For flying away, hey, hey, hey ♪ 598 00:38:25,037 --> 00:38:27,937 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 599 00:38:27,939 --> 00:38:30,340 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 600 00:38:30,342 --> 00:38:34,878 ♪ I'm flying away, yay, yay, yay ♪ 601 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,814 ♪ Yay, yay, yay ♪ 602 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:40,884 ♪ Yay, yay ♪ 603 00:38:40,886 --> 00:38:42,352 ♪ I'm flying ♪ 604 00:38:42,354 --> 00:38:44,954 ♪ Heavy from trying ♪ 605 00:38:44,956 --> 00:38:47,557 ♪ Empty from crying ♪ 606 00:38:47,559 --> 00:38:52,662 ♪ Ready for flying away ♪ 607 00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:55,465 ♪ I'm heavy from trying ♪ 608 00:38:55,467 --> 00:38:57,934 ♪ Empty from crying ♪ 609 00:38:57,936 --> 00:39:01,871 ♪ Ready for flying away ♪ 610 00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:07,077 ♪ For flying away, hey, hey, hey ♪ 611 00:39:07,079 --> 00:39:10,013 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 612 00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:12,482 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 613 00:39:12,484 --> 00:39:14,984 ♪ I'm flying away ♪ 614 00:39:14,986 --> 00:39:17,754 [muffled beat music playing] 615 00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:56,926 [door creaking] 616 00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:11,641 You know what I think this evening needs a little more of? 617 00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:15,678 Tequila. 618 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,113 Oh, my God, again? 619 00:40:17,115 --> 00:40:19,182 What do you mean? 620 00:40:19,184 --> 00:40:21,551 We barely had any. 621 00:40:21,553 --> 00:40:23,853 [giggling] 622 00:40:23,855 --> 00:40:26,089 Oh, thank you. 623 00:40:26,091 --> 00:40:27,791 - Cheers. - Cheers. 624 00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:30,693 Mmmm. 625 00:40:30,695 --> 00:40:33,997 OK, tell me, the kid you had 11 years ago, 626 00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:35,565 that was an accident, right? 627 00:40:38,870 --> 00:40:40,470 Well, I wouldn't want him going around thinking 628 00:40:40,472 --> 00:40:42,038 that's what I think of him, but... 629 00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:44,574 No. 630 00:40:44,576 --> 00:40:47,877 Yeah, I didn't exactly plan it out. 631 00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:49,512 But, 632 00:40:49,514 --> 00:40:51,614 that was your only... 633 00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:53,049 My only accident? 634 00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:56,786 - No. - No? 635 00:40:56,788 --> 00:41:00,023 There were a couple more in my 20's and... 636 00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:04,227 the chances are those are just the ones that I know about. 637 00:41:07,732 --> 00:41:08,932 Huh. 638 00:41:16,107 --> 00:41:18,608 I spent all of my 20's and... 639 00:41:20,212 --> 00:41:21,878 most of my 30's... 640 00:41:23,014 --> 00:41:25,648 going down rabbit holes of various kinds. 641 00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:31,721 And I don't know where to tell you to look for your answers 642 00:41:31,723 --> 00:41:34,791 but I can tell you, 643 00:41:34,793 --> 00:41:37,594 you're only gonna get so far looking on your own. 644 00:41:37,596 --> 00:41:40,763 Sometimes you can spend so many years looking on your own 645 00:41:40,765 --> 00:41:43,967 that you lose the chance to have it any other way. 646 00:41:46,137 --> 00:41:47,537 Wow. 647 00:41:49,908 --> 00:41:53,042 Well, I don't know if I want to look for answers or anything. 648 00:41:55,180 --> 00:41:57,914 Just hearing you talk about 649 00:41:57,916 --> 00:42:01,017 spending years looking for something, 650 00:42:02,153 --> 00:42:04,721 it's tiring just to listen to. 651 00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:13,296 I don't know, maybe I'm tired of my life 652 00:42:13,298 --> 00:42:15,832 or myself, I don't know 653 00:42:15,834 --> 00:42:19,669 but I don't want to spend my 30's looking for anything. 654 00:42:22,173 --> 00:42:24,641 [sighing] 655 00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:30,914 Hey. 656 00:42:34,953 --> 00:42:36,719 I'd rather not go home tonight, 657 00:42:36,721 --> 00:42:38,855 do you mind if I stay? 658 00:44:26,197 --> 00:44:28,765 [traffic noise] 659 00:45:24,389 --> 00:45:26,022 I mean, Jake's not bad. 660 00:45:26,024 --> 00:45:29,058 He's a nice guy, hard working. 661 00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:32,261 Got green eyes, looks like he's got a lot of hair 662 00:45:32,263 --> 00:45:34,263 under that beanie. 663 00:45:34,265 --> 00:45:35,498 Oh. 664 00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:37,934 No cancer in his family either. 665 00:45:37,936 --> 00:45:40,870 Kind of looking good here. 666 00:45:40,872 --> 00:45:44,373 Oh, he went to Princeton, bummer. 667 00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:45,908 Ew, Sara. 668 00:45:48,279 --> 00:45:49,212 "Ew," 669 00:45:49,214 --> 00:45:50,813 what? 670 00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:52,215 Ew, Princeton? 671 00:45:52,217 --> 00:45:53,883 Ew, hair? 672 00:45:53,885 --> 00:45:55,451 Ew, you didn't even look. 673 00:45:57,155 --> 00:45:58,354 OK. 674 00:46:00,992 --> 00:46:03,326 OK, fine, take it back. 675 00:46:03,328 --> 00:46:05,461 - Totally hot. - He's cute. 676 00:46:05,463 --> 00:46:06,963 Right, Mom? 677 00:46:06,965 --> 00:46:08,531 Yes. Totally hot. 678 00:46:08,533 --> 00:46:10,900 Could you please just wait until after breakfast 679 00:46:10,902 --> 00:46:12,902 before you start breeding her? 680 00:46:12,904 --> 00:46:16,305 - [chuckling] - Oh, "her?" 681 00:46:16,307 --> 00:46:20,343 Well, "she" has been looking for a sperm donor for months 682 00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:22,945 and "she" is on a clock. 683 00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:25,314 Why don't you just have a kid the normal way? 684 00:46:25,316 --> 00:46:27,116 The "normal way?" 685 00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:30,052 Oh, my Gosh, where's your empathy gene this morning? 686 00:46:30,054 --> 00:46:32,388 Nice, Mark, do you see a guy around? 687 00:46:33,858 --> 00:46:35,191 [footsteps thumping] 688 00:46:35,193 --> 00:46:36,526 There she is. 689 00:46:36,528 --> 00:46:38,528 Hi, monkey. 690 00:46:43,034 --> 00:46:45,134 Mommy, may I please have some French toast? 691 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:46,869 But of course you may. 692 00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:51,073 Robbie, baby, 693 00:46:51,075 --> 00:46:52,441 your French toast will ready in two minutes. 694 00:46:52,443 --> 00:46:53,943 Do you want whipped cream? 695 00:46:53,945 --> 00:46:55,244 Yes, please. 696 00:46:55,246 --> 00:46:56,512 It's not like I have a boyfriend, 697 00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:58,080 you know what I'm saying? 698 00:46:58,082 --> 00:47:00,016 I mean, I'm not even sure at this point 699 00:47:00,018 --> 00:47:02,185 that I want a boyfriend. What I want is a baby. 700 00:47:02,187 --> 00:47:03,853 I really wanna have a baby 701 00:47:04,556 --> 00:47:05,822 and I'm gonna do this. 702 00:47:05,824 --> 00:47:07,957 I'm gonna do this. 703 00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:10,226 I want one like you, with those little cheekies. 704 00:47:10,228 --> 00:47:12,461 [giggling] 705 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,133 Do you think Mar is gonna want them? 706 00:47:17,135 --> 00:47:19,302 You know, like, try again? 707 00:47:20,972 --> 00:47:22,505 I don't know. 708 00:47:22,507 --> 00:47:24,173 You guys totally should. 709 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:26,843 It'll be like the cutest baby ever. 710 00:47:26,845 --> 00:47:29,545 You know, you should think about Mom's plumber. 711 00:47:29,547 --> 00:47:30,880 What's his name, Mom? 712 00:47:30,882 --> 00:47:32,615 - Roberto? - Roberto. 713 00:47:32,617 --> 00:47:34,350 He's a very good looking guy. 714 00:47:35,253 --> 00:47:36,419 Square jaw line. 715 00:47:36,421 --> 00:47:37,420 He's a very good kisser. 716 00:47:37,422 --> 00:47:39,288 I gotta say, he is hot. 717 00:47:39,290 --> 00:47:41,357 I'm not having a baby with Roberto, guys. 718 00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:43,526 Could you imagine, anytime I needed something, 719 00:47:43,528 --> 00:47:46,028 he'd be fixing someone's pipes in Westchester. 720 00:47:47,265 --> 00:47:48,464 Cherry! 721 00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:49,899 Thank you, Grandma. 722 00:47:49,901 --> 00:47:51,000 Yum. 723 00:47:51,002 --> 00:47:52,201 You're welcome, darling. 724 00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:54,904 [Laura] Your lucky day. 725 00:47:54,906 --> 00:47:56,505 [Sara] Can I have some? 726 00:47:56,507 --> 00:47:57,907 [Robbie] Can I eat if first? 727 00:47:57,909 --> 00:48:00,343 [Sara laughing] 728 00:48:10,989 --> 00:48:12,588 [Laura] Have you guys been talking? 729 00:48:17,528 --> 00:48:19,929 I've barely even seen her. 730 00:48:21,633 --> 00:48:24,200 Hmm. 731 00:48:24,202 --> 00:48:27,036 We went out to dinner a couple of nights ago 732 00:48:27,038 --> 00:48:28,537 with some friends of mine. 733 00:48:29,674 --> 00:48:32,208 It was like she was barely even there. 734 00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:35,311 [water trickling] 735 00:48:35,313 --> 00:48:37,680 She doesn't really wanna talk about it. 736 00:48:39,183 --> 00:48:40,516 To be honest, 737 00:48:40,518 --> 00:48:43,286 I'm not sure that I want to anymore either. 738 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,694 [tea pot whistling] 739 00:49:03,541 --> 00:49:05,441 [water trickling] 740 00:49:07,512 --> 00:49:10,579 I know you're tired of talking about it. 741 00:49:10,581 --> 00:49:13,249 I know how exhausting it is 742 00:49:13,251 --> 00:49:17,186 and you're always the last one to complain about anything. 743 00:49:17,188 --> 00:49:19,422 So I don't bring it up to pick at a wound. 744 00:49:19,424 --> 00:49:21,724 It's just important to me to keep reminding you 745 00:49:21,726 --> 00:49:23,225 how much I care 746 00:49:23,227 --> 00:49:25,461 and how we are always here for you. 747 00:49:27,231 --> 00:49:29,598 We always pick the complicated ones. 748 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,168 [chuckling] 749 00:49:32,170 --> 00:49:34,370 Keep things interesting though, 750 00:49:34,372 --> 00:49:36,472 I guess. 751 00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:37,974 [water draining] 752 00:49:37,976 --> 00:49:40,576 She'll come around. 753 00:49:40,578 --> 00:49:42,378 I haven't gone through what she's gone through 754 00:49:42,380 --> 00:49:44,714 but I know her. 755 00:49:46,017 --> 00:49:47,717 I know that it'll work out. 756 00:49:52,090 --> 00:49:53,990 [phone chiming] 757 00:50:10,408 --> 00:50:12,041 [phone chiming] 758 00:50:20,118 --> 00:50:22,585 I sat alone at the hotel bar like a cheap hooker. 759 00:50:22,587 --> 00:50:25,488 Did you not think to just text me a few hours earlier 760 00:50:25,490 --> 00:50:27,556 just to let me know? 761 00:50:27,558 --> 00:50:29,191 [phone chiming] 762 00:51:39,831 --> 00:51:42,098 [dial tone buzzing] 763 00:51:42,100 --> 00:51:43,599 [Isabel on phone] Hey, girl, what's up? 764 00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:45,267 Hey, can you come over? 765 00:51:45,269 --> 00:51:47,403 Yeah, totally. I'm just picking up a few things. 766 00:51:47,405 --> 00:51:48,571 OK, cool, see you soon. 767 00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:49,872 I'll be right over. 768 00:51:57,381 --> 00:51:58,781 OK. 769 00:51:58,783 --> 00:52:01,350 [knife chopping] 770 00:52:13,431 --> 00:52:15,664 [paper rustling] 771 00:52:25,776 --> 00:52:28,177 [knocking] 772 00:52:28,179 --> 00:52:29,378 Coming! 773 00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:39,522 Oh, that was so fast. 774 00:52:39,524 --> 00:52:41,290 I know. 775 00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:43,192 I was just pulling looks at a store a few blocks away 776 00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:44,260 from my shoot on Monday. 777 00:52:44,262 --> 00:52:45,828 You OK? 778 00:52:45,830 --> 00:52:47,830 Not really. 779 00:52:47,832 --> 00:52:49,431 [Isabel] Do you mind if I smoke? 780 00:52:49,433 --> 00:52:50,466 Yeah. 781 00:52:52,737 --> 00:52:54,303 Max is in New York. 782 00:52:54,305 --> 00:52:56,639 Whoa. When was the last time you saw him? 783 00:52:56,641 --> 00:52:58,908 Also, when the fuck did you get bangs? 784 00:52:58,910 --> 00:53:01,410 Oh, they did them yesterday to see if I liked them. 785 00:53:01,412 --> 00:53:03,779 They look fantastic on you, you have to keep them. 786 00:53:03,781 --> 00:53:06,215 You've gotta make those permanent. 787 00:53:06,217 --> 00:53:07,783 [laughs] Sorry, sorry, Max. 788 00:53:07,785 --> 00:53:11,854 Yeah, so I found a note in my mail from him, 789 00:53:11,856 --> 00:53:13,656 so I sent him a message 790 00:53:13,658 --> 00:53:15,758 and he asked me to meet him for drinks at his hotel 791 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,794 and I'm sitting at the bar and he texts me 792 00:53:18,796 --> 00:53:20,796 telling me he had to change his flight 793 00:53:20,798 --> 00:53:22,364 and is coming the next day. 794 00:53:22,366 --> 00:53:23,966 So nothing's changed. 795 00:53:23,968 --> 00:53:25,234 No. 796 00:53:25,236 --> 00:53:26,535 Are you gonna meet him? 797 00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:27,603 Mm-hmm. 798 00:53:27,605 --> 00:53:30,639 I'm meeting him for dinner. 799 00:53:30,641 --> 00:53:33,776 We haven't seen each other in over four years. 800 00:53:33,778 --> 00:53:36,312 We stopped talking when I started seeing Mark. 801 00:53:36,314 --> 00:53:37,680 Mmmm. 802 00:53:37,682 --> 00:53:39,848 I wonder if he still looks the same. 803 00:53:39,850 --> 00:53:41,450 Yeah. 804 00:53:42,853 --> 00:53:43,852 Does Mark know he's in town? 805 00:53:43,854 --> 00:53:45,721 No. 806 00:53:45,723 --> 00:53:47,656 I'd have to go back to the beginning 807 00:53:47,658 --> 00:53:50,893 and get into literally everything about Max 808 00:53:50,895 --> 00:53:53,462 and I just don't need that right now. 809 00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:55,864 And Mark doesn't either. 810 00:53:55,866 --> 00:53:57,900 Mark still doesn't know about Max, right? 811 00:53:57,902 --> 00:53:59,735 No. 812 00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:02,571 So, he doesn't know that you were ever pregnant before? 813 00:54:02,573 --> 00:54:03,872 No. 814 00:54:03,874 --> 00:54:05,574 Neither of them do. 815 00:54:10,982 --> 00:54:13,649 Is it bad that I am a little excited? 816 00:54:13,651 --> 00:54:16,485 It's bad that you're only a little excited. 817 00:54:16,487 --> 00:54:18,020 It's Max. 818 00:54:18,022 --> 00:54:20,990 Have you decided if you're gonna sleep with him? 819 00:54:22,026 --> 00:54:23,525 Wait. 820 00:54:32,803 --> 00:54:34,036 Wow. 821 00:54:35,539 --> 00:54:37,406 Wow. 822 00:54:37,408 --> 00:54:39,908 He took this just after we started dating. 823 00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:45,381 How have I never seen this before? 824 00:54:45,383 --> 00:54:47,049 I don't know. 825 00:54:47,051 --> 00:54:49,985 I put that in a box under my skirts. 826 00:54:49,987 --> 00:54:52,021 I haven't looked at it in a year. 827 00:54:52,023 --> 00:54:53,922 Does he do this professionally? 828 00:54:53,924 --> 00:54:55,624 No clue, no. 829 00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:57,960 He used to do that just for fun but who knows? 830 00:54:59,297 --> 00:55:01,463 You nervous. 831 00:55:01,465 --> 00:55:02,598 Yeah, a little. 832 00:55:03,501 --> 00:55:05,301 What if it's weird? 833 00:55:05,303 --> 00:55:07,503 No, won't be weird. 834 00:55:07,505 --> 00:55:10,339 I mean, look, he's a dick for flaking last night 835 00:55:10,341 --> 00:55:13,442 but it definitely won't be weird. 836 00:55:13,444 --> 00:55:14,677 You think he's married? 837 00:55:15,579 --> 00:55:17,346 I honestly don't know. 838 00:55:17,348 --> 00:55:19,882 I know he was seeing that girl from Miami 839 00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:22,918 but maybe he works in the gallery, I don't know. 840 00:55:25,356 --> 00:55:26,855 Well you seem better. 841 00:55:27,958 --> 00:55:29,758 More yourself. 842 00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:30,993 Almost. 843 00:55:30,995 --> 00:55:32,328 You look like you were having fun 844 00:55:32,330 --> 00:55:34,630 with Francesca the other night. 845 00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,066 It's weird. 846 00:55:38,903 --> 00:55:41,970 I have moments where I feel like myself 847 00:55:41,972 --> 00:55:46,408 but it's like my body's here 848 00:55:46,410 --> 00:55:48,344 but I'm not in it. 849 00:55:48,346 --> 00:55:50,679 I'm, I don't even know where. 850 00:55:52,116 --> 00:55:54,917 But I had fun with you on Thursday, thank you. 851 00:55:54,919 --> 00:55:56,452 I needed that. 852 00:55:57,355 --> 00:55:58,987 I don't know. 853 00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:02,424 I was bursting to tears on my run the other day. 854 00:56:02,426 --> 00:56:04,927 - Almost? - Yeah. 855 00:56:04,929 --> 00:56:08,797 When was the last time you actually cried? 856 00:56:08,799 --> 00:56:11,867 On the plane coming back from Paris. 857 00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:14,570 Honey, you haven't cried in four years? 858 00:56:17,108 --> 00:56:19,375 - [phone buzzing] - Shit. 859 00:56:19,377 --> 00:56:20,709 [Marin] What? 860 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:22,511 [chuckling] 861 00:56:22,513 --> 00:56:24,880 I forgot, I'm supposed to water my neighbor's plants. 862 00:56:24,882 --> 00:56:26,515 [laughing] 863 00:56:26,517 --> 00:56:27,850 I wish I was kidding. 864 00:56:27,852 --> 00:56:29,551 You set an alarm? 865 00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:31,720 Who knew plants were so high maintenance? 866 00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:33,989 [laughing] 867 00:56:35,526 --> 00:56:37,025 I love you. 868 00:56:37,027 --> 00:56:40,963 Laughter is normal and so is crying. 869 00:56:40,965 --> 00:56:42,564 I don't understand how you haven't cried 870 00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:44,032 in four years or whatever 871 00:56:44,034 --> 00:56:46,034 but I think this is progress. 872 00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:47,569 Yeah. 873 00:56:47,571 --> 00:56:49,138 Have fun tonight. 874 00:56:49,140 --> 00:56:52,040 Seriously, just enjoy yourself. 875 00:56:52,042 --> 00:56:53,409 He's not a stranger. 876 00:56:53,411 --> 00:56:55,677 Four years isn't that long. 877 00:56:55,679 --> 00:56:58,113 Just, um... 878 00:56:58,115 --> 00:57:01,049 don't think so much for once. 879 00:57:01,051 --> 00:57:02,151 Love you. 880 00:57:02,153 --> 00:57:04,486 [Marin] Love you. 881 00:57:11,862 --> 00:57:13,429 Uncle Mark? 882 00:57:13,431 --> 00:57:14,997 Where is Marin? 883 00:57:16,434 --> 00:57:18,901 She's in the city this weekend. 884 00:57:18,903 --> 00:57:20,169 I miss her. 885 00:57:23,474 --> 00:57:25,507 I miss her too, sweetheart. 886 00:57:25,509 --> 00:57:28,877 Hey, hon, you gonna stay for dinner? 887 00:57:30,815 --> 00:57:34,216 You know, I think so, just give me a sec. 888 00:57:34,218 --> 00:57:35,751 Be right back. 889 00:57:52,136 --> 00:57:54,136 [phone jingling] 890 00:58:14,525 --> 00:58:15,958 Marin, um... 891 00:58:19,129 --> 00:58:21,630 I'm always gonna be here for you. 892 00:58:31,141 --> 00:58:33,942 [phone chiming] 893 00:58:38,182 --> 00:58:39,715 [phone jingling] 894 00:58:49,126 --> 00:58:50,192 I'm staying for dinner. 895 00:58:50,194 --> 00:58:51,760 Fabulous. 896 00:59:04,842 --> 00:59:06,942 [Marin voiceover] I know you're a good man. 897 00:59:06,944 --> 00:59:08,677 You're kind and steady. 898 00:59:10,014 --> 00:59:11,914 I probably don't deserve you. 899 00:59:13,183 --> 00:59:16,084 But you don't really see me. 900 00:59:16,086 --> 00:59:19,087 You see the idea of the girl you met four years ago. 901 00:59:22,326 --> 00:59:23,825 She was perfect. 902 00:59:26,230 --> 00:59:27,729 I'm not. 903 00:59:34,204 --> 00:59:38,240 Everyone thinks about starting their life over again, 904 00:59:38,242 --> 00:59:40,175 so they can somehow control it. 905 00:59:42,212 --> 00:59:44,580 But I'm living my life now 906 00:59:44,582 --> 00:59:46,715 and there is no way to control it, 907 00:59:48,218 --> 00:59:49,918 so I just have to let go. 908 01:00:13,177 --> 01:00:15,143 [elevator bell dings] 909 01:00:48,045 --> 01:00:50,145 [Marin] Just a glass of water. 910 01:00:54,284 --> 01:00:55,784 Thank you. 911 01:01:08,098 --> 01:01:11,033 So, we'll have two artichokes and two steaks. 912 01:01:11,035 --> 01:01:14,002 And for her, the sauce on the side, please. 913 01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:15,270 Thank you. 914 01:01:15,272 --> 01:01:17,172 Still ordering for people, I see. 915 01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:18,373 Just you. 916 01:01:19,309 --> 01:01:21,343 [speaking French] 917 01:01:21,345 --> 01:01:22,678 English. 918 01:01:23,781 --> 01:01:25,180 Did you forget all your French already? 919 01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:27,749 No, I live here now, so I speak English. 920 01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:35,223 You look good. 921 01:01:35,225 --> 01:01:36,892 Older but good. 922 01:01:36,894 --> 01:01:39,061 You too. You look good. 923 01:01:40,030 --> 01:01:43,465 Not older, but more astute. 924 01:01:46,336 --> 01:01:47,803 You look the same. 925 01:01:51,842 --> 01:01:53,408 I don't know. 926 01:01:53,410 --> 01:01:55,777 I don't even know what to say to you. 927 01:01:55,779 --> 01:01:57,946 You look like you're going to interview me. 928 01:01:57,948 --> 01:01:59,081 Just relax. 929 01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:03,485 Are you married? 930 01:02:05,355 --> 01:02:06,421 No. 931 01:02:07,391 --> 01:02:08,724 Are you? 932 01:02:08,726 --> 01:02:10,358 No. 933 01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:11,893 Are you still with... 934 01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:13,795 - Mark? - Yes, Mark. 935 01:02:13,797 --> 01:02:16,064 - Yeah. - Yeah? 936 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:18,934 So you think you'll marry him? 937 01:02:21,305 --> 01:02:22,471 I don't know. 938 01:02:25,275 --> 01:02:28,310 Why did you send me a copy of that thing about Julian? 939 01:02:29,179 --> 01:02:30,812 I don't know. 940 01:02:30,814 --> 01:02:32,881 It didn't feel right sending you a message. 941 01:02:32,883 --> 01:02:34,382 You could've emailed. 942 01:02:34,384 --> 01:02:35,951 I don't like emails. 943 01:02:37,421 --> 01:02:38,520 It surprised me. 944 01:02:41,492 --> 01:02:43,859 And what are you doing in New York? 945 01:02:45,329 --> 01:02:48,396 I'm here to see you, 946 01:02:48,398 --> 01:02:49,531 including Iesha as well. 947 01:02:49,533 --> 01:02:51,867 Your sister lives in New York? 948 01:02:51,869 --> 01:02:54,402 She's doing a teaching program at Columbia. 949 01:02:54,404 --> 01:02:55,904 Wow. 950 01:02:56,774 --> 01:02:58,073 So tell me about you. 951 01:02:58,075 --> 01:02:59,407 What's been going on? 952 01:02:59,409 --> 01:03:00,876 How's Mark? 953 01:03:02,212 --> 01:03:05,413 Mark's good. He's in Connecticut. 954 01:03:05,415 --> 01:03:07,182 Does he know you're with me? 955 01:03:07,184 --> 01:03:09,084 No. 956 01:03:09,086 --> 01:03:10,952 He doesn't know about you. 957 01:03:12,055 --> 01:03:14,823 I don't want, I don't need him... 958 01:03:15,459 --> 01:03:16,992 He doesn't need to know. 959 01:03:19,129 --> 01:03:21,263 Hey, do you remember my friend, Isabel? 960 01:03:21,265 --> 01:03:22,531 Mm-hmm. 961 01:03:22,533 --> 01:03:24,366 So you'll laugh, I was in my closet today 962 01:03:24,368 --> 01:03:27,269 and I was looking at that picture you took of me, 963 01:03:27,271 --> 01:03:30,939 you know, when we were living in that shitty apartment. 964 01:03:30,941 --> 01:03:33,408 Anyway, I haven't looked at it in years 965 01:03:33,410 --> 01:03:36,077 and I showed it to her. 966 01:03:36,079 --> 01:03:37,479 I remember that photo. 967 01:03:37,481 --> 01:03:39,948 It's my favorite of you. 968 01:03:39,950 --> 01:03:41,449 Do you still take pictures? 969 01:03:41,451 --> 01:03:42,984 I am. 970 01:03:42,986 --> 01:03:45,353 I had a show a few months ago in L.A. 971 01:03:45,355 --> 01:03:47,355 At Kate's gallery. 972 01:03:47,357 --> 01:03:49,090 Oh. 973 01:03:49,092 --> 01:03:50,525 You seem surprised. 974 01:03:51,428 --> 01:03:53,161 You always told me 975 01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:54,563 that if you had to take pictures for your work 976 01:03:54,565 --> 01:03:56,531 it would take out all the joy for you. 977 01:03:57,568 --> 01:03:59,067 Things change. 978 01:04:00,204 --> 01:04:02,070 And do you still take portraits? 979 01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:07,375 Do you photograph Kate? 980 01:04:07,377 --> 01:04:09,911 Sometimes. She doesn't really like it. 981 01:04:12,216 --> 01:04:13,582 [chuckling] 982 01:04:15,853 --> 01:04:18,520 I'm kind of shocked you're still with her. 983 01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:21,056 Why is that? You're still with Mark. 984 01:04:21,058 --> 01:04:24,893 Yes, but I enjoy being in a relationship and you don't. 985 01:04:25,929 --> 01:04:27,395 At least you didn't used to. 986 01:04:27,397 --> 01:04:30,432 I was in a relationship with you. 987 01:04:30,434 --> 01:04:33,068 I asked you to marry me, if you remember. 988 01:04:39,243 --> 01:04:41,176 She's... She's easy. 989 01:04:42,346 --> 01:04:44,512 She's not complicated. 990 01:04:44,514 --> 01:04:46,281 Am I complicated? 991 01:04:46,283 --> 01:04:47,549 Yes. 992 01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:49,117 Well, [chuckles] 993 01:04:49,119 --> 01:04:51,119 I don't know, it's been a long time. 994 01:04:53,023 --> 01:04:55,523 You were complicated, very. 995 01:04:55,525 --> 01:04:58,159 That's what drew me to you. 996 01:04:58,161 --> 01:05:00,595 I never knew what I was getting with you. 997 01:05:00,597 --> 01:05:02,530 So, "easy" was what you needed? 998 01:05:02,532 --> 01:05:03,632 No. 999 01:05:03,634 --> 01:05:06,001 Yes, you wanted someone easy. 1000 01:05:06,003 --> 01:05:08,637 Someone who didn't ask you questions or push you. 1001 01:05:08,639 --> 01:05:11,339 You wanted someone who would let you glide through life 1002 01:05:11,341 --> 01:05:12,941 without a care in the world. 1003 01:05:12,943 --> 01:05:14,376 You're the one who left. 1004 01:05:14,378 --> 01:05:16,478 I asked you to marry me and you packed your bags 1005 01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:17,512 and left the next day. 1006 01:05:17,514 --> 01:05:19,514 But I couldn't marry you 1007 01:05:19,516 --> 01:05:21,349 because you didn't know what you wanted to do with your life 1008 01:05:21,351 --> 01:05:23,385 because you didn't know who you wanted to be. 1009 01:05:23,387 --> 01:05:24,519 Does Mark? 1010 01:05:24,521 --> 01:05:25,654 Yes. 1011 01:05:29,192 --> 01:05:30,959 You don't look very happy. 1012 01:05:31,695 --> 01:05:33,662 You don't get to say that to me. 1013 01:05:33,664 --> 01:05:35,497 Yes I do, you look sad. 1014 01:05:35,499 --> 01:05:36,932 I'm not. 1015 01:05:39,102 --> 01:05:41,069 You shouldn't have sent the article. 1016 01:05:41,071 --> 01:05:43,004 Well you shouldn't have come. 1017 01:05:44,341 --> 01:05:46,508 I sent you the letter because I had to. 1018 01:05:46,510 --> 01:05:49,110 I didn't have a choice. 1019 01:05:49,112 --> 01:05:50,345 I needed to see you. 1020 01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:52,981 You could have just thrown it away 1021 01:05:52,983 --> 01:05:55,250 or maybe you should have. 1022 01:05:55,252 --> 01:05:58,153 But you didn't need to come here and make me feel this way, 1023 01:05:58,155 --> 01:06:00,355 tell me what I can and cannot say to you. 1024 01:06:07,097 --> 01:06:08,563 [exhales] 1025 01:06:10,434 --> 01:06:11,466 I lied. 1026 01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:13,034 You have changed. 1027 01:06:14,571 --> 01:06:16,504 You're getting even more beautiful. 1028 01:06:19,176 --> 01:06:21,076 How's your family? 1029 01:06:21,078 --> 01:06:22,711 How's work? 1030 01:06:25,148 --> 01:06:26,581 Work's been better. 1031 01:06:27,417 --> 01:06:29,250 Mom's a pain, as usual. 1032 01:06:29,252 --> 01:06:31,519 She and Dad just bought a house in Ramatuelle 1033 01:06:31,521 --> 01:06:33,388 so she's there a lot. 1034 01:06:33,390 --> 01:06:36,057 Julian, as you saw, is doing well. 1035 01:06:36,059 --> 01:06:38,593 I see him every couple of weeks for dinner. 1036 01:06:40,297 --> 01:06:41,296 And you? 1037 01:06:41,298 --> 01:06:42,664 How is your parents? 1038 01:06:42,666 --> 01:06:44,599 I miss your dad. 1039 01:06:44,601 --> 01:06:46,601 He misses you too, believe me. 1040 01:06:48,772 --> 01:06:50,472 Mom was in L.A. last week. 1041 01:06:50,474 --> 01:06:52,173 She's great. 1042 01:06:53,744 --> 01:06:55,577 They're exactly the same. 1043 01:06:56,646 --> 01:06:59,547 And do you think Kate is the one? 1044 01:06:59,549 --> 01:07:01,216 I don't know. 1045 01:07:01,218 --> 01:07:03,018 We're engaged anyway. 1046 01:07:11,661 --> 01:07:14,362 We had a baby six months ago. 1047 01:07:17,401 --> 01:07:19,251 What? 1048 01:07:19,252 --> 01:07:21,102 I don't understand, what are you doing here? 1049 01:07:21,104 --> 01:07:23,471 I mean, what are you doing here in New York with me? 1050 01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:25,106 I'm here to see you. 1051 01:07:25,108 --> 01:07:26,808 But we haven't spoken in over three years 1052 01:07:26,810 --> 01:07:28,376 and you're engaged? 1053 01:07:28,378 --> 01:07:30,178 You have a fucking baby? 1054 01:07:32,682 --> 01:07:34,649 This is unbelievable. 1055 01:07:37,187 --> 01:07:39,087 I don't even know why I am surprised. 1056 01:07:39,089 --> 01:07:41,189 That's so you. 1057 01:07:41,191 --> 01:07:43,058 What is that supposed to mean? 1058 01:07:43,060 --> 01:07:44,459 I had a miscarriage. 1059 01:07:44,461 --> 01:07:46,227 My life is completely turned upside down 1060 01:07:46,229 --> 01:07:48,463 and you come back into my life and you have a baby. 1061 01:07:50,333 --> 01:07:52,434 I'm gonna smoke, don't follow me. 1062 01:08:00,777 --> 01:08:02,610 [crickets chirping] 1063 01:08:18,762 --> 01:08:21,162 [distant police siren] 1064 01:08:37,781 --> 01:08:39,881 When did you have a miscarriage? 1065 01:08:39,883 --> 01:08:42,217 A few months ago. 1066 01:08:44,321 --> 01:08:46,454 I can't believe you have a baby. 1067 01:08:47,757 --> 01:08:50,425 Is it a boy or a girl? 1068 01:08:50,427 --> 01:08:51,693 Girl. 1069 01:08:52,562 --> 01:08:53,795 Her name is Vanessa. 1070 01:08:53,797 --> 01:08:56,664 [chuckling] 1071 01:08:56,666 --> 01:08:58,533 Are you OK now? 1072 01:08:58,535 --> 01:08:59,801 Yeah. 1073 01:09:00,770 --> 01:09:02,637 I didn't want a baby anyway. 1074 01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:10,719 I came here because I miss you. 1075 01:09:14,918 --> 01:09:16,551 I think about you. 1076 01:09:18,255 --> 01:09:20,455 Not always, but I think about you. 1077 01:09:21,291 --> 01:09:22,824 I worry about you. 1078 01:09:24,394 --> 01:09:25,693 I wonder how you are. 1079 01:09:28,365 --> 01:09:30,598 I had a baby and it made me want to be with you. 1080 01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:34,769 So, when I saw your brother's piece 1081 01:09:34,771 --> 01:09:38,907 I thought it was a sign that I needed to see you. 1082 01:09:41,811 --> 01:09:43,845 It's funny, 1083 01:09:43,847 --> 01:09:46,614 I always thought we'd have babies together. 1084 01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:50,418 Not be together but, I don't know, 1085 01:09:50,420 --> 01:09:52,020 I thought we'd make good parents. 1086 01:10:01,731 --> 01:10:03,831 I went out with someone last night. 1087 01:10:06,836 --> 01:10:08,403 When you stood me up, 1088 01:10:08,405 --> 01:10:10,672 this guy at the bar, 1089 01:10:10,674 --> 01:10:14,509 we went out and I came back with him at the hotel. 1090 01:10:14,511 --> 01:10:16,778 It was nice spending the night with someone 1091 01:10:16,780 --> 01:10:19,681 who didn't look at you like a sad girl who lost a baby. 1092 01:10:35,232 --> 01:10:37,498 - You're jealous. - Of course I am. 1093 01:10:43,340 --> 01:10:44,872 Does Kate know you're with me? 1094 01:10:45,709 --> 01:10:46,975 No. 1095 01:10:48,878 --> 01:10:50,245 She doesn't know. 1096 01:11:11,401 --> 01:11:12,800 I'm happy you're here. 1097 01:11:36,026 --> 01:11:37,925 [giggling] 1098 01:12:00,917 --> 01:12:03,017 Do you still drink tequila? 1099 01:12:03,019 --> 01:12:04,919 Yes I do. 1100 01:12:04,921 --> 01:12:06,554 Good. 1101 01:12:09,826 --> 01:12:11,359 That's beautiful. 1102 01:12:14,597 --> 01:12:16,431 It's very you, this place. 1103 01:12:16,433 --> 01:12:17,498 [Marin] Mm-hmm. 1104 01:12:17,500 --> 01:12:19,467 How long have you been here? 1105 01:12:21,037 --> 01:12:22,670 A year and a half. 1106 01:12:23,606 --> 01:12:24,972 I love how quiet it is. 1107 01:12:24,974 --> 01:12:26,808 My old apartment had a view 1108 01:12:26,810 --> 01:12:28,810 but it was so noisy, I didn't like it. 1109 01:12:29,913 --> 01:12:31,646 Why don't you quit? 1110 01:12:31,648 --> 01:12:33,715 I did. 1111 01:12:33,717 --> 01:12:34,749 I cut down. 1112 01:12:39,756 --> 01:12:41,022 Thank you. 1113 01:12:54,404 --> 01:12:56,003 Are you happy? 1114 01:12:58,074 --> 01:12:59,941 Sometimes. 1115 01:12:59,943 --> 01:13:02,009 Sometimes is good enough, I guess. 1116 01:13:02,011 --> 01:13:03,745 It has to be. 1117 01:13:06,015 --> 01:13:08,049 How is Kate? 1118 01:13:08,051 --> 01:13:09,851 Blonde. 1119 01:13:09,853 --> 01:13:12,587 Yeah, I know, I don't usually like blonde. 1120 01:13:14,858 --> 01:13:17,625 But she's smart. She's beautiful. 1121 01:13:17,627 --> 01:13:19,961 Do your parents still have the house in Corsica? 1122 01:13:22,031 --> 01:13:23,664 Yes, they do. 1123 01:13:23,666 --> 01:13:24,966 [gasping] 1124 01:13:24,968 --> 01:13:26,834 I miss that pool. 1125 01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:29,704 You remember, it was so dark you could be naked in there 1126 01:13:29,706 --> 01:13:30,938 and nobody could tell. 1127 01:13:40,049 --> 01:13:41,616 How did you meet Mark? 1128 01:13:42,552 --> 01:13:44,051 A friend of mine, 1129 01:13:44,053 --> 01:13:46,554 she invited me to this party she was going to 1130 01:13:46,556 --> 01:13:50,758 and I was standing at the window smoking a cigarette 1131 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:54,095 and he came to me and he was... 1132 01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,800 He was what? 1133 01:13:58,802 --> 01:14:00,701 Nice... 1134 01:14:00,703 --> 01:14:02,203 and not pretentious. 1135 01:14:07,911 --> 01:14:10,211 Did you shut him out like you did with me? 1136 01:14:11,948 --> 01:14:13,614 He'd probably say yes. 1137 01:14:17,086 --> 01:14:18,920 Did he want a baby? 1138 01:14:29,532 --> 01:14:31,732 I'm guessing you're not really talking to him. 1139 01:14:33,570 --> 01:14:34,836 I'm not ready. 1140 01:14:37,507 --> 01:14:39,640 Well, that's your problem. 1141 01:14:41,144 --> 01:14:43,211 What is? 1142 01:14:43,213 --> 01:14:44,946 You never wanna talk. 1143 01:14:44,948 --> 01:14:47,882 You would rather keep everything inside but 1144 01:14:49,018 --> 01:14:50,952 that's no way to live. 1145 01:14:50,954 --> 01:14:53,120 You sound like my therapist. 1146 01:14:53,122 --> 01:14:54,622 He's right. 1147 01:14:54,624 --> 01:14:55,890 You can't say that to me. 1148 01:14:55,892 --> 01:14:57,058 What, the truth? 1149 01:14:58,661 --> 01:15:00,094 You don't know me anymore. 1150 01:15:00,096 --> 01:15:01,963 [scoffs] Stop the bullshit, please. 1151 01:15:01,965 --> 01:15:05,066 You were the love of my life, I know you. 1152 01:15:05,068 --> 01:15:06,968 I know you always shut people out. 1153 01:15:06,970 --> 01:15:09,670 You used to do it to me and it killed me. 1154 01:15:09,672 --> 01:15:11,739 I can see you're in a lot of pain, 1155 01:15:11,741 --> 01:15:13,541 so why not talk to him about it? 1156 01:15:14,811 --> 01:15:16,878 It's because I'm angry. 1157 01:15:21,784 --> 01:15:23,084 I'm so angry. 1158 01:15:24,287 --> 01:15:26,754 I didn't want to be pregnant, he did, 1159 01:15:26,756 --> 01:15:29,056 but now I'm the one left picking up the pieces. 1160 01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:40,868 Anyway, let's not talk about it. 1161 01:15:43,540 --> 01:15:46,274 ["Breath Control" by John Forté playing] 1162 01:15:46,276 --> 01:15:50,044 ♪ And the subtle sensation of the pulsation ♪ 1163 01:15:50,046 --> 01:15:51,212 Ugh. 1164 01:15:51,214 --> 01:15:54,916 ♪ Of life inside your body ♪ 1165 01:16:06,029 --> 01:16:08,262 [giggling] 1166 01:16:08,264 --> 01:16:09,797 ♪ Of life inside your body ♪ 1167 01:16:09,799 --> 01:16:11,566 ♪ Respectable appeal, right ♪ 1168 01:16:11,568 --> 01:16:13,301 ♪ This is something you should feel, right ♪ 1169 01:16:13,303 --> 01:16:14,802 ♪ Like a killer in the B ♪ 1170 01:16:14,804 --> 01:16:16,103 ♪ Close your eyes and remember ♪ 1171 01:16:16,105 --> 01:16:17,972 ♪ The way things are order ♪ 1172 01:16:17,974 --> 01:16:20,041 ♪ You remember me and those killers from the B ♪ 1173 01:16:20,043 --> 01:16:22,777 ♪ Study life in plain sight, my plane's late ♪ 1174 01:16:22,779 --> 01:16:25,746 ♪ Living life, you looked like you gained weight ♪ 1175 01:16:25,748 --> 01:16:28,015 ♪ Here and now with the same date ♪ 1176 01:16:28,017 --> 01:16:30,751 ♪ Too fast, just bring down the frame rate ♪ 1177 01:16:34,857 --> 01:16:37,358 ♪ Rest your lawless your breath control ♪ 1178 01:16:37,360 --> 01:16:38,926 ♪ Far from innocent ♪ 1179 01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:40,661 ♪ In a sense, it left your soul ♪ 1180 01:16:40,663 --> 01:16:42,597 ♪ Rest your lawless your breath control ♪ 1181 01:16:42,599 --> 01:16:43,998 ♪ Far from innocent ♪ 1182 01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:45,866 ♪ In a sense, it left your soul ♪ 1183 01:16:45,868 --> 01:16:47,802 ♪ Rest your lawless your breath control ♪ 1184 01:16:47,804 --> 01:16:49,203 ♪ Far from innocent ♪ 1185 01:16:49,205 --> 01:16:51,038 ♪ In a sense, it left your soul ♪ 1186 01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,307 ♪ And if you're ever tired of your breath ♪ 1187 01:16:59,282 --> 01:17:02,683 ♪ And do you feel your beating heart? ♪ 1188 01:17:09,659 --> 01:17:11,792 [dramatic string music playing] 1189 01:18:22,298 --> 01:18:23,464 Lights. 1190 01:18:27,170 --> 01:18:28,469 I want them off. 1191 01:20:13,376 --> 01:20:15,910 [huffing] 1192 01:20:56,953 --> 01:21:00,354 [engine rumbling] 1193 01:21:37,026 --> 01:21:38,525 [Mark voicemail] Marin, 1194 01:21:41,030 --> 01:21:43,163 I'm always gonna be here for you. 1195 01:21:44,533 --> 01:21:46,634 Whenever you're ready, 1196 01:21:46,636 --> 01:21:49,169 I don't care if it takes years. 1197 01:21:50,006 --> 01:21:51,672 I can promise you that. 1198 01:21:54,110 --> 01:21:57,945 But what I can't promise you is 1199 01:21:57,947 --> 01:22:00,381 the way I'm gonna be here for you. 1200 01:22:02,184 --> 01:22:04,551 I really hope that 1201 01:22:05,955 --> 01:22:08,222 it's as your boyfriend, 1202 01:22:09,492 --> 01:22:11,525 your husband, partner, 1203 01:22:11,527 --> 01:22:13,294 whatever you wanna call us. 1204 01:22:16,132 --> 01:22:18,499 But one way or another, life has to find a way 1205 01:22:18,501 --> 01:22:21,468 to propel itself forward and I can't, 1206 01:22:22,705 --> 01:22:25,239 I can't be in a relationship by myself. 1207 01:22:27,476 --> 01:22:32,646 So know that I am waiting for the call, 1208 01:22:32,648 --> 01:22:37,651 a call to do whatever it is that you need me to do 1209 01:22:37,653 --> 01:22:39,119 to help me through this. 1210 01:22:40,723 --> 01:22:43,557 But the day might come when I am helping you 1211 01:22:43,559 --> 01:22:46,994 just as an old friend and that's all. 1212 01:22:49,565 --> 01:22:51,432 And it won't be out of spite. 1213 01:23:02,511 --> 01:23:06,413 It'll be because I can only tread water for so long 1214 01:23:06,415 --> 01:23:08,282 before my legs give out. 1215 01:23:10,086 --> 01:23:11,719 [phone chiming] 1216 01:24:06,809 --> 01:24:09,109 [speaking French] 1217 01:25:36,632 --> 01:25:38,365 Have a good day. 1218 01:25:56,819 --> 01:26:00,287 [Marin voiceover] Who says endings have to be sad? 1219 01:26:00,289 --> 01:26:01,822 That goodbyes have to be sad? 1220 01:26:03,192 --> 01:26:04,658 I don't agree. 1221 01:26:05,494 --> 01:26:07,561 It's painful at first 1222 01:26:07,563 --> 01:26:09,796 when a part of yourself is torn away 1223 01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:14,535 but endings are the borders that constrain you 1224 01:26:14,537 --> 01:26:17,504 from going forward in your life. 1225 01:26:17,506 --> 01:26:20,541 One needs to break free of those constraints 1226 01:26:20,543 --> 01:26:22,509 in order to move forward. 1227 01:26:55,578 --> 01:26:57,277 [water trickling] 1228 01:27:16,966 --> 01:27:18,565 [phone chiming] 1229 01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:36,783 Have you ever had a moment 1230 01:27:36,785 --> 01:27:39,586 when your conception of yourself slips? 1231 01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:43,423 And you realize that the stories you've been telling yourself... 1232 01:27:43,425 --> 01:27:44,858 about yourself, 1233 01:27:44,860 --> 01:27:46,727 for however long, 1234 01:27:46,729 --> 01:27:48,528 aren't necessarily true. 1235 01:27:50,432 --> 01:27:51,798 Sometimes you're alone, 1236 01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:54,568 staring out a window at the sidewalk 1237 01:27:54,570 --> 01:27:56,837 and it all hits you. 1238 01:27:56,839 --> 01:27:59,673 You've become something different. 1239 01:28:06,015 --> 01:28:09,916 We can't have beginnings without endings after all. 1240 01:28:48,424 --> 01:28:50,357 Um... 1241 01:28:50,359 --> 01:28:53,093 I don't remember what I wanted to tell you. 1242 01:29:00,336 --> 01:29:02,569 I didn't really know... 1243 01:29:08,610 --> 01:29:11,411 I don't know, I feel like I, 1244 01:29:13,082 --> 01:29:16,083 I think I felt sad, actually, 1245 01:29:16,085 --> 01:29:18,919 because this thing happened to us 1246 01:29:18,921 --> 01:29:22,989 and I didn't feel like you were there for me or anything 1247 01:29:22,991 --> 01:29:24,891 and you were here, 1248 01:29:24,893 --> 01:29:28,628 like you wanted to pretend nothing happened 1249 01:29:28,630 --> 01:29:29,996 and that we would be OK 1250 01:29:29,998 --> 01:29:34,701 and that we had to get back to our life 1251 01:29:34,703 --> 01:29:37,971 but that's not fair because that's not what happened and, 1252 01:29:40,109 --> 01:29:42,709 and I'm sad. [crying] 1253 01:29:44,680 --> 01:29:46,146 And... 1254 01:29:47,716 --> 01:29:49,916 And I'm... 1255 01:29:49,918 --> 01:29:52,486 I feel bad because I feel like maybe it's my fault 1256 01:29:52,488 --> 01:29:55,689 because I wasn't ready to be a mom and... 1257 01:30:01,130 --> 01:30:02,596 But I'm happy you're here 1258 01:30:02,598 --> 01:30:04,498 and we can 1259 01:30:04,500 --> 01:30:06,800 get to talk to each other. 1260 01:30:09,605 --> 01:30:13,073 ♪ I play into deception ♪ 1261 01:30:13,075 --> 01:30:16,810 ♪ Convincing you I'm strong ♪ 1262 01:30:16,812 --> 01:30:20,714 ♪ Your world is in my hands now ♪ 1263 01:30:20,716 --> 01:30:24,451 ♪ With grace, I take you on ♪ 1264 01:30:24,453 --> 01:30:27,788 ♪ Agreeing not to falter ♪ 1265 01:30:27,790 --> 01:30:31,458 ♪ Jailer in my own prison ♪ 1266 01:30:31,460 --> 01:30:35,195 ♪ Have I risen, have I risen ♪ 1267 01:30:35,197 --> 01:30:38,064 ♪ Right out of my mind ♪ 1268 01:30:38,066 --> 01:30:43,470 ♪ Eyes wide open, eyes wide open ♪ 1269 01:30:45,507 --> 01:30:49,509 ♪ Still, I'm blind ♪ 1270 01:30:54,149 --> 01:30:59,986 ♪ I'm under the light but I can't see myself ♪ 1271 01:31:01,723 --> 01:31:07,494 ♪ I'm fighting to breathe but I can't be myself ♪ 1272 01:31:07,496 --> 01:31:09,830 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Lord ♪ 1273 01:31:09,832 --> 01:31:15,535 ♪ These are the strangest days and times ♪ 1274 01:31:18,740 --> 01:31:21,508 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Lord ♪ 1275 01:31:21,510 --> 01:31:25,245 ♪ If life is one big road ♪ 1276 01:31:25,247 --> 01:31:30,484 ♪ Where are those signs ♪ 1277 01:31:33,989 --> 01:31:38,058 ♪ Can't stand the taste of tears now ♪ 1278 01:31:38,060 --> 01:31:41,561 ♪ Afraid of drunken grief ♪ 1279 01:31:41,563 --> 01:31:44,865 ♪ If I begin to let it in ♪ 1280 01:31:44,867 --> 01:31:48,935 ♪ Will my restless spirit cease? ♪ 1281 01:31:48,937 --> 01:31:52,706 ♪ This path may be a danger ♪ 1282 01:31:52,708 --> 01:31:55,742 ♪ Like a stranger is company ♪ 1283 01:31:55,744 --> 01:32:00,213 ♪ I'm a captive to your every whim ♪ 1284 01:32:00,215 --> 01:32:02,916 ♪ In search of something free ♪ 1285 01:32:02,918 --> 01:32:08,622 ♪ Eyes wide open, eyes wide open ♪ 1286 01:32:10,526 --> 01:32:13,026 ♪ I can't see ♪ 1287 01:32:19,668 --> 01:32:25,138 ♪ I'm under the light but I can't see myself ♪ 1288 01:32:26,708 --> 01:32:32,279 ♪ I'm fighting to breathe but I can't be myself ♪ 1289 01:32:32,281 --> 01:32:34,714 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Lord ♪ 1290 01:32:34,716 --> 01:32:40,220 ♪ These are the strangest days and times ♪ 1291 01:32:43,592 --> 01:32:46,126 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Lord ♪ 1292 01:32:46,128 --> 01:32:50,263 ♪ If life is one big road ♪ 1293 01:32:50,265 --> 01:32:55,635 ♪ Where are those signs? ♪