1
00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:07,442
[rumbling]

2
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:08,965
[car alarms blaring]DAVE: Earthquake!

3
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,967
Earthquake, earthquake!

4
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:12,795
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh,
my God. Are you okay, baby?

5
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:14,405
Uh, I think so.

6
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,103
Okay. Oh.Where's Dad?

7
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,843
Earthquake! Earthquake!

8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,323
It's an earthquake!

9
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,327
Stay calm. Stay calm.
Everything's okay.

10
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,155
[sirens blaring]I gathered all our essentials.

11
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:26,504
I got a air mattress.
Cell phones.

12
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:27,766
I got my dream journal.

13
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,073
You remembered
your dream journal,

14
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:31,379
but you forgot your pants?

15
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,908
Oh, hey.

16
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,779
Good morning, everybody.

17
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,567
Are you,
are you guys okay?

18
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:48,831
Other than this coffee being
a little bitter, we're fine.

19
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:52,791
Where's Malcolm and Marty?

20
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,489
They're fine.

21
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,273
They don't get out of bed
for anything under a 5.8.

22
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:57,970
[scoffs]

23
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,364
I can't believe you guys
are so calm about this.

24
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,323
My heart is beating
out of my chest.

25
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:03,802
Girl, we grew up here.

26
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,804
We ain't new to this.
We true to this.

27
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,546
I mean, the only reason
I got out of bed is

28
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,983
to see which neighbor
slept naked.

29
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,942
And I was right,
it was Dave.
Yeah.

30
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,641
All right, so,
what do we do now?

31
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,382
We pitch a tent so we don't
have to sleep inside tonight?

32
00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,820
Dave, I don't think a guy
that's wearing a welcome mat

33
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,867
for pants should be talking
about pitching tents.

34
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:28,958
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

35
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:30,177
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪

36
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:38,707
Well, thanks so much for coming
on such short notice, Jackie.

37
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:41,362
I mean, these cracks
look pretty nasty.

38
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,755
For the owner of
Tina-licious Cakes? No problem.

39
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:46,106
I accept cash, credit
and red velvet cupcakes.

40
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,411
[laughing]

41
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,979
Well, there's not much to do.

42
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:52,286
I mean, this house is
rock-solid, you know?

43
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,292
Well, technically,
that's not a part of the house.

44
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,773
Well, I'm just hoping
for a big enough aftershock

45
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,515
So I can finally get
my open concept kitchen.

46
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:06,996
Ha. I wouldn't bet on it.

47
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,172
I mean, we rode out
the big one in '94

48
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:10,391
with no problem.

49
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:12,349
This house is like me.

50
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,656
They just don't build 'em
like this anymore.

51
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:15,961
You know?

52
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,966
Calvin,
the Lord has spoken,

53
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,012
and He said
it's time to remodel.

54
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:25,971
Even the Bible got
a New Testament.

55
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,191
Oh.

56
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,802
So, which color would you like
for our new walls?

57
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,587
I like this one.

58
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,545
Well,
that's the color it is now.

59
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:35,677
Exactly.

60
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,115
Come on, baby, let's take this
as an opportunity

61
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,204
to just update some things.

62
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:44,033
Okay, you know what?
We'll get an 85-inch TV.

63
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,557
It'll hide all the cracks.

64
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:49,125
Nice try. No.

65
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,694
Oh, hey, you two.

66
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,043
Are my babies okay?

67
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,610
Yeah, we're all right.

68
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:56,915
Our house did get
a little bit of damage,

69
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,569
but we're not worried.

70
00:02:58,700 --> 00:02:59,570
We're renters.

71
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,921
Uh, speaking of,

72
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,315
there is a-a hole
in the wall

73
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,099
that looks like somebody flew
a drone into it,

74
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,536
but it was definitely
from the earthquake.

75
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:11,930
Well, this is
a pretty big job.

76
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:13,845
Uh, you might want
to check into a hotel.

77
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,456
We'll stay at our hotel.

78
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,675
[scoffs] What do you mean,
"your hotel?"

79
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,155
The one next door.

80
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,288
Oh, no.

81
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,160
Oh, yes.

82
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,727
I mean, the staff
treats you like family,

83
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:26,945
because they are family.

84
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:31,646
And the place feels like yours,
because it is yours.

85
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,177
Hey, buddy.
What do you got there?

86
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,048
My clothes.

87
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,876
Figured we'd ship everything
else back to Michigan.

88
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,313
I'd like to leave
this afternoon.

89
00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:48,924
Wha...

90
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,274
I thought you loved California.

91
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,755
Well, that was before I knew
it was a death trap.

92
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,411
All right, buddy, come on.
Sit down, look.

93
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:00,414
We're all gonna be fine.

94
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,067
Okay?

95
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,896
[whispers]:
He's not wrong.

96
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,075
There is no need to worry,
honey.

97
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,990
We just have to be prepared,

98
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,732
which is why I bought us this.

99
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:17,692
Everything we need to
prepare for another quake:

100
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:20,521
protein bars,
water pouches, a flashlight,

101
00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:23,654
even this adorable
fire extinguisher

102
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,309
that looks like our regular
fire extinguisher's baby.

103
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,269
Fine. I'll go unpack.

104
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,446
And pray for baby fires.

105
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:39,496
Wow, Grover's really
freaked out.

106
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,411
Well, yeah,
it makes sense.

107
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,021
I mean, I could see
how last night would be

108
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:44,936
totally terrifying
for a child.

109
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,373
[rumbling]Aftershock!

110
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:47,591
Uh-oh.

111
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,160
That was the
garbage truck, Dave.

112
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:56,121
BOTH:
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

113
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,559
[laughs]Ah, man. [groans]

114
00:04:58,733 --> 00:04:59,734
Nah, you know what?
Best out of 17.

115
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,301
Oh, no way, man.

116
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,215
No way. You lost.

117
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,478
Mom and Dad are taking
your room.

118
00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:05,783
What? No, hell nah, man.

119
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,481
Let's wrestle for it.What? Aah!

120
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:08,873
[both grunting]

121
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:11,789
[overlapping shouting]

122
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:12,964
I'm-a drop you.

123
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,183
I don't know what you're doing,

124
00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:15,924
but you're too old
to be doing it.

125
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:16,838
Put him down.

126
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,232
[chuckles]:
Oh, uh... Hey.

127
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:23,061
We-we were just wrestling over
who gets to give you their room.

128
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:24,933
And luckily, Malcolm won.

129
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:26,151
Ah, what? No, man.

130
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,589
I mean, uh...
[chuckles] Yeah.

131
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:29,851
All I do is win.Ow.

132
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,071
Uh, Mom, Dad,

133
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:34,725
make yourselves at home.

134
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:36,597
Mi casa es
quite literally su casa

135
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:37,989
because we rent from you.

136
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,644
Well, it's freezing in here.

137
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:43,081
Marty, what the hell happened
to my thermostat?

138
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,822
That's a new system I put in.

139
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,694
You can control the temperature
from your phone.

140
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:47,869
Fancy, right?

141
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,045
Oh, very fancy.

142
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,742
Now tell your phone I'm cold.

143
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,701
And tell your brother
I'm raising the rent.

144
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,662
Oh, uh, Ma,
you did not have to go shopping.

145
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,403
We do have food.

146
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,449
You have dino nuggets
and soy sauce packets.

147
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:08,629
And this bottle of ranch is old
enough to have voted for Obama.

148
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:13,547
I'm not gonna spend the next
three weeks eating condiments.

149
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:16,114
I'm about to smoke this chicken.

150
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,290
Uh, Ma, it is 9:30
in the morning.

151
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,031
Well, I'm also gonna
make hash browns.

152
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,564
Oh, okay. So, I guess

153
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,740
that charge from Home Depot
wasn't fraudulent.

154
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:37,005
You can't put a price
on preparedness.

155
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:37,962
[chuckles]:
Oh, apparently you can,

156
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,834
and it's $1,300.

157
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:44,360
Well, you know,
your little earthquake kit

158
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,362
needed some help, so I got
everything we would need

159
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,407
in case of a flood,
mudslide,

160
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,061
and a biological weapons attack.

161
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,065
What is that for?

162
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,460
[chuckles]
It's for beekeeping, Grover.

163
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:58,940
[whispers]:
Methane leaks.All right.

164
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:04,728
Don't worry, honey. Your dad
just went a little overboard.

165
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,295
I don't think
he went overboard enough.

166
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,123
An earthquake

167
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:11,648
once made the Mississippi River
flow backwards.

168
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,698
Dave,
you've got to tone it down.

169
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,743
I know you're
freaked out, but...I am not freaked out.

170
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:20,962
Okay.

171
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,314
What is wrong
with being prepared?

172
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,751
Nothing.
But you're still returning

173
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,449
the gas mask and the generator.

174
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,539
Fine.

175
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,326
Can't return it

176
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,068
if I can't find the receipt.

177
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:43,245
[garbage disposal whirs]

178
00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:45,508
CALVIN:
Tina!

179
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:46,988
Yeah, baby?

180
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:47,989
I can see the
construction dumpster

181
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,512
from the window.

182
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:50,992
Looks like half the
house is in there.

183
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,342
We never should have hired
that contractor.

184
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:54,648
Is it because she's a woman?

185
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,606
I don't see gender, Tina.

186
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,913
All I see is somebody
ripping up my house.

187
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,045
Hey. Hey, Pop,
Pop, hold up.

188
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,307
Is that my iPad?

189
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,092
Oh, yeah. And by the way,

190
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,224
some girl named
"Jennifer Cheesecake Factory"

191
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:09,227
sent you some pictures her mama
would not be happy with.

192
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:12,753
Don't bring her home.

193
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:18,454
[hammers pounding][drill whirring]

194
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:21,283
What the hell
is going on in here?

195
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,807
They're just doing repairs.

196
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,461
This is
what we talked about.

197
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,550
No, we talked about paint.

198
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,683
Last time I checked,
you don't need

199
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,772
a sledgehammer to paint.

200
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,600
Oh, hey, it's the Butlers.

201
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,036
Oh, good, you're here.

202
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,690
Just in time for me to fire you.

203
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:40,868
Fire her?
I thought we agreed

204
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,392
to fix whatever needed
to be fixed to make it safe.

205
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,960
That wall is wobbly
and exposed.

206
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,049
Well, so is Miss Kim.

207
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,138
You don't see nobody trying
to throw her in the dumpster.

208
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,794
You know what?
I'll finish the repairs myself.

209
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,578
I just need some sandpaper,

210
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,232
a few screws and a...

211
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,407
and a little Spackle.

212
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,627
We're missing a wall.

213
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,588
Okay, a lot of Spackle.

214
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,984
All right, uh, Jackie,
why don't you and the crew

215
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,639
go home for the rest of the day,
and I'll have a talk with him.

216
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,032
Come on, guys!

217
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,774
Whoever said he'd fire
us after three days,

218
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:19,646
I owe you a beer.

219
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:25,390
Calvin,
you are being ridiculous.

220
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,391
You're so busy at the shop,

221
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,306
these repairs
will take you forever,

222
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,961
and I'll be moving back
into this house in a wheelchair.

223
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:33,573
Then I'll be sure
to add a ramp to my quote.

224
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,010
Fine.

225
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:37,185
If you think
that you can do it better,

226
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,316
then have at it.

227
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,536
And have at it I will.

228
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,799
I'll have this house done
in three days!

229
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,719
Give or take a month.

230
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,335
[laughs]

231
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:58,989
Do svidaniya!Mm!

232
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,513
Hey.

233
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,472
Oh, I see
you helped yourself

234
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,996
to my bottle of Zetta wine.
[chuckles]

235
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,258
Cool.

236
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,651
Shh! Shh!

237
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,045
We're watching
90 Day Fiancé.

238
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:14,091
Uh, you know, I was hoping
that I could watch the game.

239
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:17,051
Oh, sorry, man.
This is the reunion episode,

240
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,488
and that's when
all the tea gets spilled.

241
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:22,099
And I have had a day.

242
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:25,146
Your father lost his damn mind
and fired our contractor,

243
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,192
so looks like we gonna be
living here another six months.

244
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,676
Did you say "six months"?

245
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:36,679
[chuckles]
Uh, Marty, can I speak to you

246
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,028
in the kitchen,
please, my brother?

247
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,377
Oh, not now, man,
Svetlana just threw

248
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,075
her passport in Gabe's face.

249
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,598
[chuckles]

250
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,779
Now, you listen to me.
I cannot take this anymore.

251
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,303
We have got to get Mom and Pop
the hell out of here.

252
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:54,697
You want to turn our parents
out on the street?

253
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:57,352
The people who gave us life?
Who raised us?

254
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:58,614
You don't want Mama to leave

255
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,311
because she is
doing your laundry.

256
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,270
Okay, man, she folded
the fitted sheets,

257
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,185
Oh, man.It's basically witchcraft.

258
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:06,622
Look, the only witchcraft
she is working

259
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:09,320
is making my dates
disappear from this house.

260
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:10,713
All right, I think
you're pretty good

261
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,584
at making them disappear
all on your own.

262
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:13,063
Oh, please...You can't blame Mommy
for that, I'm just saying.

263
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:14,891
[alarm sounding]

264
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,245
[alarm stops]

265
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:22,943
Earthquake.

266
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:25,336
An earthquake is happening.

267
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,774
What is going on?

268
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,732
Gemma, you're not
wearing any shoes.

269
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:30,907
[buzzer sounds]

270
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,780
First earthquake drill demerit.

271
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:36,783
Drill? We never
agreed to a drill.

272
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:39,829
Do you think Mother Nature
sends a written invitation

273
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:42,136
before she opens a sinkhole
in your yard?

274
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,399
A sinkhole?

275
00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:47,532
Yes, that's right, Grover.
A sinkhole.

276
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:52,363
Now, everyone,
find the safest exit.

277
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,583
Uh, the front door?

278
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,585
Rookie mistake.

279
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,805
[buzzer sounds]

280
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:02,591
What...

281
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:06,769
You would have been crushed
by all of this literature.

282
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,554
Okay, this drill is over.

283
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,340
Okay, fine. But...

284
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:15,952
based on everyone's performance,
I can't guarantee

285
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:19,608
that we would all survive
the next big one.

286
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,610
Dad, you are a very loud
whisperer.

287
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,396
I'm sleeping in the yard.

288
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,921
Uh-- Very good, son.

289
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:31,011
The back door
is the safest egress.

290
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,709
Just be careful
of any fallen power lines.

291
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:37,060
Dave, this has to stop.
Grover is totally freaked out.

292
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,367
Well, I'm doing this
so he won't be scared.

293
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:41,761
So he won't be scared
or you won't be scared?

294
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,937
[alarm sounding]

295
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,853
[alarm stops]

296
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,812
Sorry, my, my finger slipped.

297
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,077
Look, this is how I'm coping.

298
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,514
Okay? If anything
ever happened to you guys...

299
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,429
I would never be able
to forgive myself.

300
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,476
Honey, I appreciate that.

301
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:04,261
And of course we
should be prepared,

302
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,394
but you've got our
son in the backyard

303
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:09,614
rationing gummy bears
like it's the end of days.

304
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:14,402
In retrospect, uh,

305
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,187
maybe I did go
a little overboard.

306
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:18,841
You think?

307
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,802
You need to go out there
and let Grover know

308
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,325
that everything's
gonna be okay.

309
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,416
Oh, uh, don't go
to the bathroom.

310
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:31,854
I may or may not have tried
to simulate a water main break.

311
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,292
TINA:
Oh!

312
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,512
Calvin, that better be you.

313
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:40,645
'Cause if it's not, whoever
it is is getting this bat!

314
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,691
It's me. I-It's me, baby.

315
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,433
Baby, what are you doing
in there?

316
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,783
Well, right now, I'm just trying
to remember the last time

317
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,742
I had a tetanus shot.

318
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,745
Well, I know it's been
too long. Get out of there.

319
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,486
Look, bae, I just needed
to make sure

320
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,749
everything in the trash
was trash.

321
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,361
I didn't agree
to tear the whole house down.

322
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,058
We're not tearing
the house down.

323
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,887
We just had to change
some things.

324
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:08,499
Well, you know the saying,
"Change is bad"?

325
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,458
That's not the saying.

326
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:11,502
Well, it should be.

327
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,725
This dumpster's just filled with
memories I don't want to lose.

328
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,336
Did you see this
wall they tore out?

329
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:22,470
It's got the comic strip that
Malcolm and Marty drew on.

330
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,211
Remember we were so mad,
but then, eventually,

331
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,386
it grew on us?

332
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:26,474
Yeah.

333
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,824
That was pretty cute.

334
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,609
All this stuff, babe, this is
what makes our house a home.

335
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:36,049
Baby, we are what makes
a house a home.

336
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:39,530
These memories are precious,
but it's time for new ones.

337
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,011
The boys are grown,
we have the money.

338
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,795
And we're in a new phase
in our lives,

339
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,189
and that phase includes
dual showerheads.

340
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,846
Two showerheads? Who needs that?

341
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,109
The couple who showers together.

342
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,985
Well, this could be
an interesting new phase.

343
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:00,073
[laughs]

344
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:04,120
Calvin, we love
this neighborhood.

345
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,167
And we have the chance
to turn this house

346
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,038
into the dream home
we always wanted.

347
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,345
Yeah.

348
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,304
It's just hard
letting it all go.

349
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:16,872
You know, we don't have to.

350
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:20,006
All right?
Why don't we take this piece

351
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,311
and have it framed?

352
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,139
Good idea.
See?

353
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,488
Uh, b-babe, uh...

354
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:25,925
Can we save this, too?

355
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,754
It's the first light switch
I had to fix.

356
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,452
Let it go.

357
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,238
Fine.

358
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,285
I'll call Jackie in the morning
and unfire her.

359
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:39,808
I already did.

360
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:42,115
Good, because God didn't intend

361
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,682
for three adult men
to share one bathroom.

362
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:49,992
Hey, buddy.

363
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,733
I brought you
some emergency hot cocoa.

364
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,823
Speaking of hot,

365
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:57,739
did you know that L.A.
sits on the Ring of Fire?

366
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:02,962
We are literally living
on a volcano.

367
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,269
They didn't mention that
on Zillow.

368
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,229
Come on, buddy.
[sighs]

369
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,405
Sit down. Listen...

370
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,235
I'm sorry I scared you.

371
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,019
I went totally overboard
with the earthquake prep.

372
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,848
No, you didn't.
We need all that stuff.

373
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:23,504
Are you aware that this area
is prone to radon leaks?

374
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:29,466
No, I did not know that.

375
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,252
But no more Wikipedia
for you before bed.

376
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,256
But I get it.

377
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:39,085
You know, feeling prepared
makes me feel less afraid, too.

378
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,869
I didn't know you got scared.

379
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,958
Oh, well, I hide it very well.

380
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,658
Of course I do.
Look, everybody does.

381
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:48,964
But that doesn't mean
we should run away

382
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,271
from the things
that are scaring us.

383
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:54,448
And besides, natural
disasters happen everywhere,

384
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,537
even Michigan.

385
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,105
I know.

386
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:04,023
Fun fact, in 1965,
Michigan had 12 tornadoes.

387
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,198
In one day.

388
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,332
Well, I'm glad we moved.

389
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,728
Look, the point is,

390
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:16,035
Mom and I are never gonna
let anything happen to you.

391
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:19,168
You know, and we live
in a neighborhood

392
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:20,822
filled with people
who have our backs,

393
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:24,347
so no matter what happens,

394
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,132
we're gonna be okay.

395
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,482
I do love it here.

396
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,049
Malcolm and Marty
promised they'd take me

397
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:31,485
to the horse track.

398
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,229
Well, that's something
we'll talk about.

399
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:43,540
[humming]
Ma!

400
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,151
What are you doing in here?

401
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,066
Brushing my hair.

402
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,939
There better be
some hot water left.

403
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,202
I need some privacy, people!

404
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,511
Boy, ain't nobody looking
at you. Get on out of there.

405
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,775
Ah.

406
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,951
Have you gained some weight?

407
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,086
No, Mother, I have not.

408
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,132
I blame you and your
smoked chickens. [laughs]

409
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:12,700
[whimpers]

410
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,528
Aw, bae.

411
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,487
I'll be glad when
our renovations are done.

412
00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,142
These single showerheads,
they're just so old-school.

413
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:27,280
Mama and Dad have got to go.

414
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:29,717
Oh, was it the bathroom party

415
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:31,197
that changed your mind?

416
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,199
[muttering]

417
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,201
Hey, boys.
Ah...

418
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,072
Well, since the contractor
will be finished next week,

419
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,161
we decided to
treat ourselves

420
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,337
and spend our last few
days in a nice hotel.

421
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,600
Oh, really? Well, oh, gosh,

422
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,428
it's been so lovely
having y'all here.

423
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,300
Yeah, yeah. I-I wish you guys

424
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,866
could've stayed longer.

425
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:50,259
It really just flew by.

426
00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:52,653
Not to me.

427
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,223
Hello.

428
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:00,791
Why are you wet?

429
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:04,099
Funny story.
[chuckles]

430
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,797
Jimmy was laying a little
conduit for the electrical...

431
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,321
Water. Get to the water.

432
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,061
Right.

433
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,238
Uh, well, then we found
some termite damage.

434
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,849
And, it turns out,
when we pulled out the wood,

435
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:16,677
it was the only thing
holding up your pipes.

436
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,769
How much and how long?

437
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:24,337
Six weeks, and I'll email you
the quote

438
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,338
because I don't want
to say it to your face.

439
00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:27,557
[sighs]

440
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:32,606
Lord of Light, what have
we done to deserve this?

441
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,782
Well, it ain't no pleasure
cruise for me, either.

442
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,827
You think I like
living with dude smell?

443
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,352
Uh-- Look,

444
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,136
if y'all gonna be
staying here for that long,

445
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,007
then we need to set down
some ground rules.Yeah.

446
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,749
To make your stay
much more comfortable.

447
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,144
Where are you going, baby?

448
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:52,365
I need a break. I'm-a go sit
by the pool in my living room.

449
00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:01,374
♪ I never met a girl
who makes me feel ♪

450
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,158
♪ The way that you do ♪

451
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,595
♪ You're all right ♪

452
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:08,424
♪ Whenever I'm asked
who makes my dreams real ♪

453
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,034
♪ I say that you do ♪

454
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,601
♪ You're out of sight ♪

455
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:14,648
♪ So, fee-fi ♪

456
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,519
♪ Fo-fum ♪

457
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:20,306
♪ Look out, baby,
'cause here I come ♪

458
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,265
♪ And I'm bringing you
a love that's true ♪

459
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:27,487
♪ So get ready, so get ready ♪

460
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:30,185
♪ I'm gonna try to make you
love me, too ♪

461
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,883
♪ So get ready, so get ready ♪

462
00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,885
[music stops][rumbling]

463
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,457
♪ Get ready 'cause here I come

464
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:42,763
♪ I'm on my way ♪

465
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:45,418
♪ Get ready 'cause here I come ♪

466
00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,942
♪ If you want to play
hide-and-seek ♪

467
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:50,031
♪ With love, let me remind you ♪

468
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,859
♪ It's all right ♪

469
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:54,775
♪ Of the loving
you're gonna miss ♪

470
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,211
♪ In the time it takes
to find you. ♪

471
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,870
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

472
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,873
and TOYOTA.

473
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:08,789
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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