1
00:00:06,114 --> 00:00:08,028
Hey, Calvin.Hey, guys.

2
00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:10,292
Thanks again for taking
this stuff to Goodwill for us.

3
00:00:10,335 --> 00:00:12,729
Oh, no problem.
Oh, and, uh,

4
00:00:12,772 --> 00:00:14,296
congratulations,
Dave,

5
00:00:14,339 --> 00:00:15,688
on finally moving
out of a high chair

6
00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:17,821
into a booster seat.

7
00:00:17,864 --> 00:00:20,432
You know, not funny now,
and not funny at restaurants

8
00:00:20,476 --> 00:00:22,521
when you have the waiter
bring one over for me.

9
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,135
Oh, wow, looks like
you guys are getting rid

10
00:00:27,178 --> 00:00:28,658
of Grover's
old baby stuff.

11
00:00:28,701 --> 00:00:30,442
Yeah. We used to think
about having another kid.

12
00:00:30,486 --> 00:00:32,227
But by the time Grover
was out of diapers,

13
00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:35,317
life got so busy, it just
kind of never happened.

14
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,667
Yeah, plus we agreed we're
happy with just having one.

15
00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:39,669
After all, I'm an only child
and I think we all know

16
00:00:39,712 --> 00:00:41,714
that I turned out
pretty spectacular.

17
00:00:41,758 --> 00:00:44,152
We also know
that one of you

18
00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,675
is definitely enough.

19
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:48,721
Aw, remember

20
00:00:48,765 --> 00:00:50,549
this little guy?Oh, yeah.

21
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,203
Captain Cuddleduck.

22
00:00:52,247 --> 00:00:53,465
He was Grover's favorite.Yeah,

23
00:00:53,509 --> 00:00:54,771
we'd peek into
his room at night,

24
00:00:54,814 --> 00:00:56,468
and there they'd be,
curled up together.

25
00:00:56,512 --> 00:00:59,297
Snug as two
bugs in a rug.

26
00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:01,125
Aw, that's adorable.

27
00:01:01,169 --> 00:01:03,084
Peace out, Captain.

28
00:01:03,127 --> 00:01:05,825
Well, uh, hold on.

29
00:01:08,132 --> 00:01:09,525
Maybe we should keep him.

30
00:01:09,568 --> 00:01:11,875
Why? Grover hasn't slept
with him for years.

31
00:01:11,918 --> 00:01:14,051
I know.
But it's just one thing

32
00:01:14,095 --> 00:01:16,097
to remind us
of when he was little.

33
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:17,402
Okay, sure.

34
00:01:17,446 --> 00:01:19,056
Besides,
Cuddleduck is a veteran.

35
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,666
Welcome home, soldier.

36
00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:23,365
What's this?

37
00:01:23,408 --> 00:01:24,714
Uh, it's a bottle warmer.

38
00:01:24,757 --> 00:01:26,150
You use it to warm up
a baby's milk.

39
00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:29,197
Oh yeah, we used to have
one of those, too.

40
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,416
It was called an armpit.

41
00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:35,290
I put one under there one time
after playing basketball.

42
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:38,161
It got so hot
it burned Marty's lip.

43
00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:41,731
You know what?

44
00:01:41,774 --> 00:01:43,254
Maybe we should keep this, too.

45
00:01:43,298 --> 00:01:44,516
It sounds like
you guys aren't ready

46
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,170
to get rid of some
of this stuff.

47
00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:47,911
Of course we are.

48
00:01:51,784 --> 00:01:53,917
Gemma, what are you doing?

49
00:01:56,789 --> 00:01:58,530
I don't know.
My brain's saying "Let go,"

50
00:01:58,574 --> 00:02:01,098
but my hand's aren't listening.

51
00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:03,927
Okay, Gemma,
let go of the high chair.

52
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:06,538
Oh, my...

53
00:02:06,582 --> 00:02:07,583
I can't.

54
00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:08,887
Why not?

55
00:02:08,932 --> 00:02:11,021
Because I think
I want another baby.

56
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,892
What?

57
00:02:12,936 --> 00:02:15,243
Well, what do you know, Captain?

58
00:02:15,286 --> 00:02:18,376
Looks like you're headed back
to the front lines.

59
00:02:19,856 --> 00:02:22,119
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

60
00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:23,164
♪ Welcome to the hood.

61
00:02:27,864 --> 00:02:30,867
Gem...

62
00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:33,217
Gemma, we need
to talk about this.

63
00:02:33,261 --> 00:02:35,524
Having another baby
is a huge decision.

64
00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:39,180
I know. And I know we agreed
on only having one child.

65
00:02:39,223 --> 00:02:41,182
But we also agreed
on one taco night a week,

66
00:02:41,225 --> 00:02:44,010
and now we do it
on Tuesdays and Fridays.

67
00:02:44,054 --> 00:02:45,664
That is not true.

68
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:49,233
And Fajita Fridays
is  mucho diferente.

69
00:02:49,277 --> 00:02:50,626
Besides,

70
00:02:50,669 --> 00:02:52,497
are you seriously
trying to compare

71
00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:54,237
having another kid to that?

72
00:02:54,282 --> 00:02:57,807
I'm sorry. I didn't know
I was gonna feel this way.

73
00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,461
But there was just something

74
00:02:59,504 --> 00:03:02,725
about giving away Grover's
baby stuff that made me realize

75
00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:04,857
I don't think
I want to be done yet.

76
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:07,295
But, Gemma, our lives
are perfect right now.

77
00:03:07,338 --> 00:03:09,732
We have great jobs,
an amazing son.

78
00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:12,474
We're the Three Musketeers
every year for Halloween.

79
00:03:12,517 --> 00:03:15,390
Another baby ruins
the whole theme.

80
00:03:17,305 --> 00:03:20,569
I'm just saying we have so many

81
00:03:20,612 --> 00:03:23,180
sweet memories
of Grover growing up.

82
00:03:23,224 --> 00:03:25,704
His first smile,
his first steps,

83
00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:27,445
his first words.

84
00:03:27,489 --> 00:03:29,404
His first smile,
he spit up on us.

85
00:03:29,447 --> 00:03:31,362
His first steps,
he fell down the stairs.

86
00:03:31,406 --> 00:03:33,408
And his first words
were a four-letter one

87
00:03:33,451 --> 00:03:36,237
when he was falling
down those stairs.Uh, no.

88
00:03:37,063 --> 00:03:38,630
That's what you think he said.

89
00:03:38,674 --> 00:03:41,285
I still think
he said Cuddleduck.

90
00:03:41,329 --> 00:03:43,287
All right, my point is

91
00:03:43,331 --> 00:03:46,072
is I just think you're
forgetting how hard it was.

92
00:03:46,116 --> 00:03:48,727
Oh, come on.
It wasn't that bad.

93
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:51,556
Do you not remember getting up
every two hours to feed him,

94
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,733
the dirty diapers, the endless
screaming? I mean, Gemma...

95
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:57,562
...forgive my language,

96
00:03:57,606 --> 00:04:01,044
but it was
a Cuddleducking nightmare.

97
00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:04,395
Look, all I'm asking
is for you to think about it.

98
00:04:04,439 --> 00:04:06,136
But, look,
for the record,

99
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,747
I just don't think another baby
is what we need right now.

100
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,619
What, another baby?!

101
00:04:10,662 --> 00:04:12,098
Are you guys crazy?!

102
00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:14,275
What about
the Three Musketeers?!

103
00:04:17,278 --> 00:04:18,713
Don't worry, sweetie.

104
00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:20,759
It's just something Dad and I
are talking about.

105
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,457
Well, I vote no.

106
00:04:23,632 --> 00:04:25,547
Although...

107
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:28,463
a puppy and an Xbox
might help me get there.

108
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,730
Oh, hey, babe.
How did it go at Goodwill?

109
00:04:34,773 --> 00:04:37,515
Great.
In fact, while I was there,

110
00:04:37,559 --> 00:04:40,344
I picked you up
an early birthday present.

111
00:04:40,388 --> 00:04:42,041
Really, Calvin?

112
00:04:42,085 --> 00:04:44,957
You bought my birthday present
from a thrift store?

113
00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:47,569
No, Tina.

114
00:04:47,612 --> 00:04:50,223
I would never buy
my baby something used.

115
00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,313
It was on the free table.

116
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:55,620
Well, what is it?

117
00:04:56,752 --> 00:05:00,016
It is an antique
leather-bound Bible

118
00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:02,627
Oh.with gold lettering
and brass corners.

119
00:05:02,671 --> 00:05:05,238
Just like the one
your grandmama used to have.

120
00:05:05,282 --> 00:05:08,372
Wow.
Calvin, it's beautiful.

121
00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:09,634
Thank you.

122
00:05:09,678 --> 00:05:11,506
Yeah, don't thank
me, thank God.

123
00:05:11,549 --> 00:05:14,770
For blessing you with
such an amazing husband.

124
00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:18,339
You know, I still say
it was my cousin Anita

125
00:05:18,382 --> 00:05:20,732
who stole that Bible
during my grandma's funeral.

126
00:05:20,776 --> 00:05:23,300
But you can't accuse
a nun with no evidence.

127
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:25,650
Yeah.

128
00:05:25,694 --> 00:05:28,305
Anita was hood
before she was holy.

129
00:05:29,654 --> 00:05:30,960
Whoa!

130
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:32,265
What?

131
00:05:32,309 --> 00:05:34,442
Baby, there's money
in here.

132
00:05:34,485 --> 00:05:36,095
Let me see that.

133
00:05:36,139 --> 00:05:37,619
Wow.

134
00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:40,404
This is, like, $700, $800.

135
00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:42,841
Forget the Good Book.
This is a great book.

136
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,234
[chuckling]

137
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,671
Well, Calvin,
we can't keep this money.

138
00:05:46,715 --> 00:05:48,934
We need to return it
to its rightful owner.

139
00:05:48,978 --> 00:05:52,155
Tina, it's an antique Bible
from the Goodwill.

140
00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:55,419
There's no way we can find out
who it actually belongs to,

141
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,508
especially if we don't look.

142
00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:01,817
Well, fine.
If we can't return it,

143
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,559
then God would want us to do
something charitable with it.

144
00:06:04,602 --> 00:06:05,908
You know,
this kind of money

145
00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:07,649
can really make a difference
in someone's life.

146
00:06:07,692 --> 00:06:09,128
You're right.

147
00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:10,391
Mine.

148
00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:15,091
I'm gonna buy me a giant
new flat-screen with this.

149
00:06:15,134 --> 00:06:17,093
I'm warning you, Calvin.

150
00:06:17,136 --> 00:06:18,834
This is a test from God.

151
00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:20,705
And He is watching.

152
00:06:20,749 --> 00:06:22,185
Exactly.

153
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:24,709
Which is why it's disrespectful
to make Him watch

154
00:06:24,753 --> 00:06:26,842
this tiny-ass TV.

155
00:06:29,975 --> 00:06:32,108
Oh. Hey, Calvin.
What you doing?

156
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,719
I'm looking at
getting a new TV.

157
00:06:34,763 --> 00:06:39,245
Trying to decide
should I go LED or QLED.

158
00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:41,117
What's the Q stand for?

159
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,204
No idea.

160
00:06:42,248 --> 00:06:44,555
I just know I deserve it.

161
00:06:44,599 --> 00:06:46,601
Well,

162
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:49,168
you're lucky that's the biggest
decision you have to make today.

163
00:06:50,039 --> 00:06:52,041
Gemma's still talking
about having another kid

164
00:06:52,084 --> 00:06:53,608
and wants me to think about it.

165
00:06:53,651 --> 00:06:55,478
[laughs]

166
00:06:55,523 --> 00:06:56,959
Dave,

167
00:06:57,002 --> 00:06:59,527
when your wife tells you
to think about it,

168
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,311
there's nothing left
to think about.

169
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,356
It's already been thunk.

170
00:07:06,795 --> 00:07:08,449
I don't know.

171
00:07:08,492 --> 00:07:11,626
You know, we-we have
such a good thing going.

172
00:07:11,669 --> 00:07:13,889
I just don't want anything
to mess that all up.

173
00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:15,934
Well, look
on the bright side:

174
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,371
now you can stop being
those three weird pirates

175
00:07:18,415 --> 00:07:19,634
for Halloween.

176
00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:24,595
You know, not to mention it
would be even harder this time.

177
00:07:24,639 --> 00:07:27,032
I mean, we already have a kid,

178
00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:28,512
and we're ten years older.

179
00:07:28,556 --> 00:07:29,818
It's like she doesn't realize

180
00:07:29,861 --> 00:07:31,733
how much this is gonna
affect our lives.

181
00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:32,864
Yeah.

182
00:07:32,908 --> 00:07:35,563
Well, you got to find
a way to show her.

183
00:07:35,606 --> 00:07:37,652
Yeah, well, how do I do that?

184
00:07:37,695 --> 00:07:39,392
Not my problem.

185
00:07:39,436 --> 00:07:43,309
The only baby I care about
right now is 65 inches long

186
00:07:43,353 --> 00:07:46,182
and made in Korea.

187
00:07:48,837 --> 00:07:50,099
Oh, hey, babe.

188
00:07:50,142 --> 00:07:51,317
Just in time.

189
00:07:51,361 --> 00:07:52,318
For what?

190
00:07:52,362 --> 00:07:54,538
To watch me buy a new TV

191
00:07:54,582 --> 00:07:57,410
with our gift card from God.

192
00:07:58,194 --> 00:08:00,109
Oh! Look at that.

193
00:08:00,152 --> 00:08:03,373
He gave unto us free shipping.

194
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:09,248
Look, Calvin, I know you
don't believe this is a test,

195
00:08:09,292 --> 00:08:11,947
but look where the
money was stashed.

196
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,688
First Timothy.

197
00:08:13,731 --> 00:08:17,561
"For the love of money is
the root of all kinds of evils."

198
00:08:18,475 --> 00:08:22,087
Well, let's not forget
what it says in Leviticus.

199
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:25,787
"Finders keepers,
losers weepers."

200
00:08:28,877 --> 00:08:32,141
Okay. Fine, Calvin,
you keep making jokes.

201
00:08:32,184 --> 00:08:33,664
But don't come running to me

202
00:08:33,708 --> 00:08:35,796
when the Lord
starts punishing you.

203
00:08:37,886 --> 00:08:39,670
I'll be fine, Tina.

204
00:08:39,714 --> 00:08:43,848
Besides, if God didn't want me
to have a new flat-screen,

205
00:08:43,892 --> 00:08:47,678
he wouldn't have blessed me
with a laptop to order it on.

206
00:08:52,944 --> 00:08:56,469
Well, it looks to me like
God just logged you off.

207
00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:01,518
Ooh. Hey, honey.

208
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:03,215
Hey, sweetie.
What's in the box?

209
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:05,174
Okay. Well,

210
00:09:05,217 --> 00:09:08,220
if we are really considering
having another baby,

211
00:09:08,264 --> 00:09:09,526
I figured

212
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:11,789
we should make sure
that we're ready. So...

213
00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:14,357
I got us this.

214
00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:17,099
You bought a doll?

215
00:09:17,142 --> 00:09:19,231
Oh, no, no, no.
Not just a doll.

216
00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:21,494
She's a Baby Be Sure.

217
00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:24,497
Yeah, it's a robotic
parenting simulator

218
00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:26,064
that you have to feed
and take care of.

219
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:28,589
Oh, you mean those things
they give high school kids

220
00:09:28,632 --> 00:09:30,199
to make 'em not
want to have sex?

221
00:09:30,242 --> 00:09:31,548
Because if
that's your goal,

222
00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:32,767
it's working.

223
00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:35,291
No, no, no. Look,
I just thought...

224
00:09:37,989 --> 00:09:40,644
I-I just thought that,
before we do this,

225
00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:43,516
we should spend a few days
to see what it's like

226
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:44,909
to have a baby
in the house again.

227
00:09:44,953 --> 00:09:47,564
Oh, all right.
I see what you're doing here.

228
00:09:47,608 --> 00:09:49,348
You're trying to remind me
how hard it is

229
00:09:49,392 --> 00:09:51,220
so I'll change my mind.

230
00:09:51,263 --> 00:09:53,091
Challenge accepted.

231
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,616
Okay. All right.
Great.

232
00:09:55,659 --> 00:09:57,705
'Cause, in that case,

233
00:09:57,748 --> 00:09:59,445
congratulations, Ms. Johnson.

234
00:09:59,489 --> 00:10:00,664
it's a girl.

235
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:03,449
All right, turn her on.

236
00:10:03,493 --> 00:10:04,494
Let's see what
she's like.

237
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,105
[beeping]Whoa.

238
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,454
[cooing]

239
00:10:08,498 --> 00:10:09,891
Aw. [chuckles]Aw.

240
00:10:09,934 --> 00:10:11,544
She's so cute.

241
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:13,634
[loud flatulence]

242
00:10:15,592 --> 00:10:17,594
Did this thing just poop?

243
00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:19,161
Yeah. I had
to pay extra for that.

244
00:10:26,908 --> 00:10:27,865
Dave?

245
00:10:27,909 --> 00:10:29,432
[inhales]

246
00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:30,955
Hey, Marty.

247
00:10:30,999 --> 00:10:34,350
Hey, man, I don't mean to
get all up in your business,

248
00:10:34,393 --> 00:10:35,656
but why the hell do you have

249
00:10:35,699 --> 00:10:37,266
a Betsy Wetsy
strapped to your chest?

250
00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:39,703
She's not a Betsy Wetsy.

251
00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:41,400
She's a robot doll
you take care of

252
00:10:41,444 --> 00:10:43,011
to see if you want kids.

253
00:10:43,054 --> 00:10:44,534
Oh, yeah.

254
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,709
No, they gave us
those in high school

255
00:10:45,753 --> 00:10:46,884
to discourage
teen sex,

256
00:10:46,928 --> 00:10:48,625
but I think my Pokémon backpack

257
00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:50,279
took care of that for me.

258
00:10:50,322 --> 00:10:52,629
I got it to show Gemma

259
00:10:52,673 --> 00:10:54,587
how hard it would be
to have another kid,

260
00:10:54,631 --> 00:10:57,068
but she's doing amazing.

261
00:10:57,112 --> 00:10:58,766
It's a disaster.

262
00:10:58,809 --> 00:11:00,289
Okay, yeah, man.

263
00:11:00,332 --> 00:11:01,464
It must really suck
to be married

264
00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:02,770
to such an incredible
wife and mother.

265
00:11:03,771 --> 00:11:07,513
Gemma's not the problem.
It's... it's this baby.

266
00:11:07,557 --> 00:11:09,037
She's too easy to take care of.

267
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:13,128
She's not a Baby Be Sure,
she's a Baby Let's Get It On.

268
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,913
Well, if you want
to make it harder,

269
00:11:15,957 --> 00:11:18,263
you could always just
kick it up a notch.

270
00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:19,656
What do you mean?

271
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,049
Well, these things run
on simple software.

272
00:11:21,092 --> 00:11:23,616
They can be programmed
to act any way you want.

273
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:24,966
So, hypothetically,

274
00:11:25,009 --> 00:11:26,924
you could program this baby
to drive Gemma crazy?

275
00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:30,145
Dave, I could program it
to drive Gemma to Costco.

276
00:11:32,147 --> 00:11:34,105
Okay.

277
00:11:34,149 --> 00:11:35,106
I'm in.

278
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,805
But just know,
I'm only doing this

279
00:11:37,848 --> 00:11:39,458
because I'm desperate.

280
00:11:39,502 --> 00:11:42,505
Trust me, until you've worn
a Pikachu backpack to prom,

281
00:11:42,548 --> 00:11:44,289
you don't know
what desperate is.

282
00:11:46,683 --> 00:11:48,598
Hey, Pop. Oh.

283
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,469
How come you haven't
put your new TV up yet?

284
00:11:50,513 --> 00:11:52,167
Thought it came in yesterday.

285
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,603
It did.

286
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,344
But you know
what else happened yesterday?

287
00:11:55,387 --> 00:11:57,563
I banged my knee
on the coffee table,

288
00:11:57,607 --> 00:11:59,783
got a summons for jury duty,

289
00:11:59,827 --> 00:12:01,480
then banged my knee again

290
00:12:01,524 --> 00:12:03,831
while throwing out
the summons for jury duty.

291
00:12:06,964 --> 00:12:08,270
What's your point?

292
00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:10,359
Other than you are
a terrible citizen

293
00:12:10,402 --> 00:12:12,578
who needs to watch
where he's going.

294
00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:15,364
I'm just saying,
I think your mom might be right.

295
00:12:15,407 --> 00:12:17,540
God is angry with me

296
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,238
for buying the TV with
that money I found in a Bible.

297
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,544
Oh.
Please, Pop,

298
00:12:21,587 --> 00:12:23,328
I'm pretty sure God's
got bigger fish to fry

299
00:12:23,372 --> 00:12:25,374
than worrying about you
and your flat-screen.

300
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:28,856
Well, for other people,
you'd probably be right,

301
00:12:28,899 --> 00:12:32,468
but in His eyes,
I'm pretty high-profile.

302
00:12:33,817 --> 00:12:35,688
Yeah, Pop, you are
being ridiculous, man.

303
00:12:35,732 --> 00:12:37,299
Oh, yeah?

304
00:12:37,342 --> 00:12:39,823
Then explain to me why I got
a parking ticket yesterday.

305
00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,390
Did you put money in the meter?

306
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:44,262
No, I never put money
in the meter.

307
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,440
But up until now,
He didn't care.

308
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,356
Look, I'm telling you, Pop,

309
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,054
bad things like that
happen every day.

310
00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:55,230
Mama is just in your head.

311
00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:56,840
Maybe.

312
00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:58,581
You know what?

313
00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:01,889
She is always trying
to sneak in there and trick me

314
00:13:01,932 --> 00:13:04,282
into being
a better person.

315
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:06,328
Well, that makes
a lot more sense

316
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:09,113
than you getting busted by the
almighty meter maid in the sky.

317
00:13:09,157 --> 00:13:11,507
You're right. You're right.
Come on, man.

318
00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:12,595
Help me out with this.

319
00:13:12,638 --> 00:13:13,726
We'll put it
up right now.

320
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,032
All right.Grab that side.

321
00:13:15,076 --> 00:13:17,121
BOTH:
One, two, three.

322
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:20,472
Whoa!Oh.

323
00:13:21,909 --> 00:13:23,432
On second thought...

324
00:13:23,475 --> 00:13:25,695
you know, you're right.
[short chuckle]

325
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,958
God is coming for your ass.

326
00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:36,227
Good afternoon, sir.
Did someone order a devil baby?

327
00:13:36,271 --> 00:13:37,533
Great.

328
00:13:37,576 --> 00:13:38,882
What'd you do to her?

329
00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:40,797
Well, I souped up
her crying,

330
00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:42,146
maxed out her
thrashing ability,

331
00:13:42,190 --> 00:13:43,191
and made her
impossible to calm down.

332
00:13:43,234 --> 00:13:44,453
Basically, she's every baby

333
00:13:44,496 --> 00:13:46,237
I ever sat next to
on an airplane.

334
00:13:47,325 --> 00:13:49,327
All right, well,
how do I activate her?

335
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:51,764
Oh, it's simple. All you got to
do is pat her on the head,

336
00:13:51,808 --> 00:13:53,636
and just like that, Gemma's baby

337
00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,290
becomes Rosemary's baby.

338
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:58,336
Thank you, Marty.
I owe you big time.

339
00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,511
Oh, man, if you
want to thank me,

340
00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:01,035
just, uh keep
your doors locked.

341
00:14:01,078 --> 00:14:03,602
I don't want that monster
coming after its creator.

342
00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:06,562
Hey, sweetie.Hi.

343
00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:08,042
Hey, Marty.

344
00:14:08,085 --> 00:14:10,218
Did you meet the newest member
of the Johnson family?

345
00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:11,567
I did.
She's adorable.

346
00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,830
A real computer chip
off the old block.

347
00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:15,484
You want to hold her?

348
00:14:15,527 --> 00:14:16,441
No, thanks.

349
00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:18,008
Come on, she doesn't bite.

350
00:14:18,052 --> 00:14:20,445
[laughs]
That's what you think.

351
00:14:20,489 --> 00:14:21,751
Oh.

352
00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:27,017
So, now that you two have
spent some more time together,

353
00:14:27,061 --> 00:14:28,932
are you starting to
feel better about this?

354
00:14:28,976 --> 00:14:30,238
Well,

355
00:14:30,281 --> 00:14:33,284
as of a few minutes
ago, yes.

356
00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:34,590
Great.

357
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:35,634
Well, why don't I
take her for a while

358
00:14:35,678 --> 00:14:36,766
While you go relax?

359
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,507
Okay, you two have fun.

360
00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:41,684
And you be good for Mommy.

361
00:14:41,727 --> 00:14:43,555
[wailing]

362
00:14:46,036 --> 00:14:47,951
Whoa. What happened?

363
00:14:47,995 --> 00:14:49,083
No idea.

364
00:14:49,126 --> 00:14:50,954
But I'm sure
she'll calm down.

365
00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:52,086
Or not.

366
00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:54,827
[wailing continues]

367
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:58,309
Pastor Williams,
you got a minute?

368
00:14:58,353 --> 00:15:00,485
Yeah.
Calvin, come on in.

369
00:15:00,529 --> 00:15:03,097
Who am I praying
for this week?

370
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,490
Dodgers or Lakers?

371
00:15:05,534 --> 00:15:08,319
Actually, I'm here
about something else.

372
00:15:08,363 --> 00:15:12,584
But I wouldn't be mad if LeBron
got some help off the bench.

373
00:15:13,977 --> 00:15:16,066
So, uh, what brings
you in today?

374
00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:19,069
Well, I'm here to make
a donation to the church.

375
00:15:19,113 --> 00:15:22,116
A donation?
You?

376
00:15:23,769 --> 00:15:25,075
Yeah.

377
00:15:25,119 --> 00:15:26,947
What's so surprising about that?

378
00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,600
Nothing.
But just so you know,

379
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:32,169
we're no longer accepting used
couches or '80s movies on VHS.

380
00:15:33,344 --> 00:15:35,259
You know what?
It's not like that.

381
00:15:35,303 --> 00:15:36,957
This is cash.

382
00:15:38,306 --> 00:15:40,351
And don't pretend people
weren't going crazy

383
00:15:40,395 --> 00:15:42,527
over that House Party
box set.

384
00:15:44,138 --> 00:15:46,401
Wow, Calvin, this is...
this is a lot of money.

385
00:15:47,271 --> 00:15:49,491
And don't take this personally,
but...

386
00:15:51,841 --> 00:15:53,799
Seriously?

387
00:15:53,843 --> 00:15:55,453
You're checking
to see if it's real?

388
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:58,065
Just think of it as me
giving God a closer look.

389
00:15:58,108 --> 00:16:01,851
Don't worry,
He knows all about it.

390
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,114
Tina snitched on me.

391
00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:07,248
Well, Calvin, this is
incredibly generous of you.

392
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:10,077
In fact, I would love to mention
this in my sermon on Sunday.

393
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,209
Your gift might inspire others,

394
00:16:12,253 --> 00:16:15,430
and, if nothing else,
you deserve to be celebrated.

395
00:16:15,473 --> 00:16:18,824
Well, you know,
I wouldn't say all that.

396
00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:20,304
But if you said it,

397
00:16:20,348 --> 00:16:22,741
then who am I
to argue with a man of God?

398
00:16:22,785 --> 00:16:24,961
Oh, and, uh...

399
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:28,138
feel free to put my name
in the program, too.

400
00:16:28,182 --> 00:16:30,358
You know,
for the hearing impaired.

401
00:16:30,401 --> 00:16:32,882
[thunder crashes]

402
00:16:34,057 --> 00:16:36,755
Actually, let's just
make it anonymous.

403
00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:39,061
Deaf people ain't trying
to hear all that.

404
00:16:41,891 --> 00:16:43,762
[doll wailing]

405
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,593
I don't know what to do.

406
00:16:48,637 --> 00:16:49,986
This thing

407
00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:52,771
has been crying for
four hours straight.

408
00:16:52,815 --> 00:16:55,035
It's driving me crazy!

409
00:16:55,078 --> 00:16:56,297
[groans]

410
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,212
Okay. All right.
Well, look, I know it's hard.

411
00:16:58,255 --> 00:16:59,648
But look on the
bright side--

412
00:16:59,691 --> 00:17:01,215
if it was a real baby,

413
00:17:01,258 --> 00:17:02,955
you'd probably
be covered in spit-up.

414
00:17:02,999 --> 00:17:04,566
Remember how awful that was?

415
00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:11,442
[wailing]

416
00:17:11,485 --> 00:17:13,009
Wow.

417
00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:15,185
And I thought the velocity
on the other end was impressive.

418
00:17:15,229 --> 00:17:17,100
Dave, you were right.

419
00:17:17,144 --> 00:17:19,276
I was crazy to think
we should do this again.

420
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,712
Can you just
shut this thing off?!

421
00:17:20,755 --> 00:17:22,148
Yeah, of course.

422
00:17:24,802 --> 00:17:27,283
What's wrong?
Why isn't it stopping?

423
00:17:27,328 --> 00:17:29,156
I'm pressing the button.
It's not turning off.

424
00:17:29,199 --> 00:17:32,159
Dave, it's getting worse!

425
00:17:32,202 --> 00:17:34,770
Ok... I-I'm trying.

426
00:17:34,813 --> 00:17:37,642
[wailing continues]

427
00:17:37,686 --> 00:17:39,122
Make it stop!

428
00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:42,082
I can't!
Marty never showed me how!

429
00:17:50,351 --> 00:17:55,051
What do you mean,
Marty never showed you how?

430
00:17:55,834 --> 00:17:57,314
I didn't say Marty.

431
00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:01,013
It must have been the baby.

432
00:18:01,057 --> 00:18:03,581
Oh, my God, Gemma--
her first words.

433
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,192
Oh!

434
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:07,977
What the hell did you do?

435
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,283
Okay, fine.

436
00:18:09,326 --> 00:18:11,894
I had Marty make the baby

437
00:18:11,937 --> 00:18:13,287
a little more difficult,

438
00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:14,636
but just because
you were making it

439
00:18:14,679 --> 00:18:16,507
look so easy.
So in a way,

440
00:18:16,551 --> 00:18:19,075
it's a huge compliment
to you as a mom.

441
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,468
Oh!

442
00:18:20,511 --> 00:18:23,253
[laughs]

443
00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:25,473
I can't believe you would
do something like this.

444
00:18:25,516 --> 00:18:27,257
Well, what do you expect?

445
00:18:27,301 --> 00:18:28,824
You know,
we had talked about this

446
00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:30,608
and agreed that
we were done having kids.

447
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,262
And then all of a sudden
you change your mind

448
00:18:32,306 --> 00:18:33,872
and I'm just supposed
to be on board with it?

449
00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:36,745
[scoffs] All I asked you to do
was to think about it.

450
00:18:36,788 --> 00:18:37,789
Oh, come on, Gemma.

451
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:38,790
We both know

452
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:41,271
it had already been thunk.

453
00:18:43,186 --> 00:18:45,449
That is not true.

454
00:18:45,493 --> 00:18:47,364
I would never force
you to do something

455
00:18:47,408 --> 00:18:48,887
you don't want to.

456
00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:50,759
But you didn't even
give it a fair shot.

457
00:18:50,802 --> 00:18:52,761
You're so focused
on the hard parts,

458
00:18:52,804 --> 00:18:54,676
you're forgetting about
all the good ones.

459
00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:55,938
No, I'm not.

460
00:18:55,981 --> 00:18:57,374
Yes, you are.

461
00:18:57,418 --> 00:18:59,594
Dave, you brought
home a robot baby

462
00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:02,553
that kicks and
screams and poops.

463
00:19:02,597 --> 00:19:04,555
But you know what
it doesn't do?

464
00:19:04,599 --> 00:19:06,862
Well, we now know
it doesn't fly.

465
00:19:09,821 --> 00:19:12,520
It also doesn't laugh,

466
00:19:12,563 --> 00:19:16,350
or hold your finger
with its tiny hand,

467
00:19:16,393 --> 00:19:19,309
or fall asleep
on your chest.

468
00:19:19,353 --> 00:19:22,704
It doesn't smile when
you walk into the room,

469
00:19:22,747 --> 00:19:26,795
or look you in the
eye and say "Daddy."

470
00:19:26,838 --> 00:19:29,276
But a real baby does
all those things,

471
00:19:29,319 --> 00:19:31,582
and so much more.

472
00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:33,715
I did love
all those things.

473
00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:35,412
Yeah.

474
00:19:35,456 --> 00:19:38,633
So wouldn't it be nice to
love them all over again?

475
00:19:43,028 --> 00:19:44,943
Yeah, maybe.

476
00:19:44,987 --> 00:19:48,120
So now you'll really
think about it?

477
00:19:48,164 --> 00:19:51,385
Yes. I...
I will think about it.

478
00:19:51,428 --> 00:19:52,647
Thank you.

479
00:19:53,909 --> 00:19:55,780
Aw, man!

480
00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:58,000
If you guys are gonna
try to have another baby,

481
00:19:58,043 --> 00:19:59,871
would you at least
close the door?

482
00:20:06,182 --> 00:20:08,793
So you're really considering
having another kid, huh?

483
00:20:08,837 --> 00:20:10,621
Yeah, I think so.

484
00:20:10,665 --> 00:20:12,275
Good for you, man.

485
00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:14,712
Having a second kid was the best
thing to ever happen to me.

486
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:15,887
Oh, yeah?

487
00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,454
Absolutely.

488
00:20:17,498 --> 00:20:19,587
One more person
to do my chores for me.

489
00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:21,458
Instead of a baby walker,

490
00:20:21,502 --> 00:20:23,678
I had Marty pushing a vacuum.

491
00:20:25,114 --> 00:20:27,116
You know, that's a good idea.

492
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,509
If we still had that robot baby,

493
00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:30,685
we could've had Marty
make it into a Roomba.

494
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:33,470
You got rid of the doll?

495
00:20:33,514 --> 00:20:35,429
Actually, no.
You know, it's really weird.

496
00:20:35,472 --> 00:20:37,692
I came out here to look for it
this morning and it was gone.

497
00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:39,389
Huh.
I wonder where it went.

498
00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:40,782
MARTY:
Daddy!

499
00:20:40,825 --> 00:20:43,306
[wailing]Get it off me! Get it off me!

500
00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:44,699
Get it off!

501
00:20:44,742 --> 00:20:45,874
Get it off me!

502
00:20:45,917 --> 00:20:48,572
[yelling][wailing]

503
00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:52,620
See? I told you
having a second kid was great.

504
00:20:52,663 --> 00:20:56,014
If I didn't have Marty,
I never would've seen that.

505
00:20:56,058 --> 00:20:57,929
[yelling, sobbing][wailing]