1
00:00:06,331 --> 00:00:07,767
Is it my turn?

2
00:00:07,898 --> 00:00:09,421
No, we're still waiting
for Calvin to play.

3
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,467
Okay, uh, stop rushing me.

4
00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:14,644
Dave took like ten minutes
to put down the word "cat."

5
00:00:14,774 --> 00:00:17,299
Well, I was one letter away
from "catnip,"

6
00:00:17,429 --> 00:00:19,475
but all I had
was this blank tile.

7
00:00:21,694 --> 00:00:23,479
Damn it!

8
00:00:24,436 --> 00:00:26,090
Okay, all right, here we go.

9
00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:28,745
Here we go right here. F-I...

10
00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:32,140
N-N-A.

11
00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:35,099
Boom. Triple word score.

12
00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:37,884
[laughs]"Finna"?

13
00:00:38,015 --> 00:00:39,364
What's "finna"?

14
00:00:39,495 --> 00:00:40,800
You know, as in,

15
00:00:40,931 --> 00:00:43,716
"I'm finna get
38 points for that word."

16
00:00:43,847 --> 00:00:45,979
[mutters softly]

17
00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:49,287
I'm pretty sure "finna"
isn't in the dictionary.

18
00:00:51,463 --> 00:00:52,986
Well, Black people
say it all the time,

19
00:00:53,117 --> 00:00:55,424
so if it's not,
your dictionary's racist.

20
00:00:55,554 --> 00:00:57,426
Boom, triple word score.

21
00:01:00,255 --> 00:01:01,691
Ah...

22
00:01:01,821 --> 00:01:03,171
What's wrong?

23
00:01:03,301 --> 00:01:04,868
I'm having some problems
with my wrist lately.

24
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,435
I think I might
have carpal tunnel.

25
00:01:06,565 --> 00:01:09,090
Damn it. I could've
played "carpal," too.

26
00:01:11,048 --> 00:01:13,746
Dave, if your wrist hurts,
you should see my doctor.

27
00:01:13,877 --> 00:01:15,400
Dr. Richards is like family.

28
00:01:15,531 --> 00:01:18,273
Calvin, Dr. Richards
died nine years ago.

29
00:01:18,403 --> 00:01:20,579
He did?

30
00:01:20,710 --> 00:01:23,800
Well, let that be a lesson.
Don't let family drift apart.

31
00:01:23,930 --> 00:01:26,063
Seriously, Calvin?

32
00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:27,978
You haven't seen a
doctor in nine years?

33
00:01:28,109 --> 00:01:29,327
TINA:
No. I've been
begging him

34
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:31,112
to get a physical
for the longest time,

35
00:01:31,242 --> 00:01:32,287
but he just won't go.

36
00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:33,723
That's because I don't need to.

37
00:01:33,853 --> 00:01:35,290
Look, I'm so healthy,

38
00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:38,423
I already outlived my doctor
by nine years.

39
00:01:39,816 --> 00:01:41,861
Calvin, you should
really listen to Tina.

40
00:01:41,992 --> 00:01:43,472
You know,
your health is important.

41
00:01:43,602 --> 00:01:46,257
If I were you, I would
definitely be finna to go.

42
00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:51,871
Gemma, you're right.
It's not a word.

43
00:01:53,743 --> 00:01:55,571
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

44
00:01:55,701 --> 00:01:57,007
♪ Welcome to the hood.

45
00:02:01,446 --> 00:02:03,361
Oh, hey, Calvin.Hey, Dave.

46
00:02:03,492 --> 00:02:04,841
What do you got there?

47
00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:06,669
Oh, just some of my old
juggling clubs.

48
00:02:06,799 --> 00:02:09,759
You know, I would say I didn't
know you juggled, but deep down,

49
00:02:09,889 --> 00:02:12,457
I think I did.

50
00:02:12,588 --> 00:02:13,719
Well, I haven't done it
in years,

51
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,460
so I might be a little rusty.

52
00:02:15,591 --> 00:02:17,158
But I figured, hey, what's
the worst that could happen?

53
00:02:17,288 --> 00:02:19,856
I don't know,
but whatever it is,

54
00:02:19,986 --> 00:02:22,337
I am definitely
getting it on video.

55
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:24,382
Just got to do one last thing.

56
00:02:24,513 --> 00:02:27,037
Whoa. Whoa,
you're setting them on fire?

57
00:02:27,168 --> 00:02:28,908
I thought you said
you hadn't juggled in years.

58
00:02:29,039 --> 00:02:30,823
That's crazy.

59
00:02:30,954 --> 00:02:32,303
Well, maybe,
but not half as crazy

60
00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:34,131
as skipping the doctor
for nine years.

61
00:02:34,262 --> 00:02:37,439
So I guess you could say
we're both playing with fire.

62
00:02:37,569 --> 00:02:41,094
Oh, okay.
So that's what this is about.

63
00:02:41,834 --> 00:02:43,401
You know what? I take it back.

64
00:02:43,532 --> 00:02:45,882
Go ahead.
Roast your marshmallows.

65
00:02:46,012 --> 00:02:48,493
Okay.

66
00:02:48,624 --> 00:02:50,191
Calvin, I'm serious.

67
00:02:50,321 --> 00:02:52,105
You got to go
to the doctor every year.

68
00:02:52,236 --> 00:02:53,498
It's really important.

69
00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:55,239
Dave, I'm fine.

70
00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:56,806
I treat my body like a temple.

71
00:02:56,936 --> 00:02:59,069
It's probably why
so many people worship me.

72
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,594
Okay, I guess Tina was right.
You won't listen to reason.

73
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,422
So it looks like
I'm gonna have to try

74
00:03:04,553 --> 00:03:06,076
something else
to get you to do it.

75
00:03:06,207 --> 00:03:08,209
What?
Embarrass you.

76
00:03:08,339 --> 00:03:09,993
If you don't go to the doctor,
I'm gonna make a T-shirt

77
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,821
that says
"Calvin is my best friend,"

78
00:03:11,951 --> 00:03:13,779
and I'm gonna wear it
wherever we go.

79
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,955
Eh, you wouldn't.I already did.

80
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,438
How'd you get that made so fast?

81
00:03:20,569 --> 00:03:22,440
You just found out
about this last night.

82
00:03:22,571 --> 00:03:24,225
Actually, I've had it
for a while.

83
00:03:24,355 --> 00:03:26,705
I had it made
for our upcoming friendiversary.

84
00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:29,142
Just picture it, Calvin.

85
00:03:29,273 --> 00:03:31,144
You're in the barber shop
holding court,

86
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:33,582
I stroll in wearing this.

87
00:03:33,712 --> 00:03:37,412
So what? I've been the big dog
around here a long time.

88
00:03:37,542 --> 00:03:40,197
It'll take more than
a T-shirt to bring me down.

89
00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:43,113
I figured you'd say that, which
is why I made it a tank top.

90
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,029
Okay, you know what?
Fine.

91
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,466
I'll go.

92
00:03:48,597 --> 00:03:50,076
But if Dr. Richards
wasn't already dead,

93
00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:51,426
this would've killed him.

94
00:03:54,342 --> 00:03:56,039
Hey, here you go, bro.

95
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,042
[laughs]Oh, man, it doesn't get
any better than this.

96
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,305
Two grown men,
making it on our own,

97
00:04:01,436 --> 00:04:03,742
living our independent lives.

98
00:04:03,873 --> 00:04:06,484
Marty, we live 60 feet
from Mom and Pop's house.

99
00:04:06,615 --> 00:04:08,312
Exactly.

100
00:04:08,443 --> 00:04:10,271
It's far enough away
to be independent

101
00:04:10,401 --> 00:04:12,273
but close enough
to steal their Wi-Fi.

102
00:04:12,403 --> 00:04:13,448
[knocking on door]

103
00:04:13,578 --> 00:04:14,753
See? Okay.
I see. Yeah.

104
00:04:14,884 --> 00:04:16,364
Yo.

105
00:04:16,494 --> 00:04:18,104
Hey, little man.MARTY: Hey.

106
00:04:18,235 --> 00:04:19,541
What's up? Come on in.

107
00:04:19,671 --> 00:04:21,456
We're having career day
at my school.

108
00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:25,416
Since my dad came last year
and my mom's the principal,

109
00:04:25,547 --> 00:04:28,898
and you have such an awesome job
at JPL, I thought I'd ask you.

110
00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:31,727
Well, your friendly
neighborhood rocket scientist

111
00:04:31,857 --> 00:04:34,382
gladly accepts your invitation.

112
00:04:34,512 --> 00:04:36,993
Oh, I was actually
talking to Malcolm.

113
00:04:37,123 --> 00:04:39,561
[laughs]
What?

114
00:04:39,691 --> 00:04:41,302
But Malcolm's
just a security guard.

115
00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:44,043
Uh, yeah, a security guard
who just watched you

116
00:04:44,174 --> 00:04:46,437
blow up on takeoff.What...?

117
00:04:47,656 --> 00:04:49,092
Yeah, but that,
that makes no sense.

118
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,485
Why would you want him
instead of me?

119
00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:53,009
Because security guards
are cool.

120
00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:55,968
They've got uniforms
and handcuffs,

121
00:04:56,099 --> 00:04:58,406
and he takes down
bad guys, right?

122
00:04:58,536 --> 00:05:00,408
Well, you know, uh,

123
00:05:00,538 --> 00:05:02,932
I do what I got to do.

124
00:05:03,062 --> 00:05:05,630
Yeah, and what you got to do
is check I.D.'s

125
00:05:05,761 --> 00:05:07,197
and let the pizza guy
up the elevator.

126
00:05:07,328 --> 00:05:09,634
[chuckles]
And just for that, from now on,

127
00:05:09,765 --> 00:05:12,768
the only lunch
I'm letting up is salad.[gasps]

128
00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:15,466
Whoa, guys, I didn't mean
to start a fight.

129
00:05:15,597 --> 00:05:17,642
Look, Marty, if you want to,
you can come, too.

130
00:05:17,773 --> 00:05:18,904
Yes! [laughs]

131
00:05:19,035 --> 00:05:20,689
I'm gonna get started right now.

132
00:05:20,819 --> 00:05:23,692
You guys are gonna see just
how fun math and science can be!

133
00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:25,868
Great.

134
00:05:27,652 --> 00:05:30,916
If he gets too boring,
you do what you got to do.

135
00:05:35,181 --> 00:05:38,359
Well, I hope he has better news
for me than he had for you.

136
00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:41,753
Okay, Mr. Butler,

137
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,843
I have the results from
your physical, and...

138
00:05:44,974 --> 00:05:46,323
You know what? I'm fine.

139
00:05:46,454 --> 00:05:48,369
I don't care
what your stupid test says.

140
00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:50,719
Actually, they say
you're in amazing health.

141
00:05:50,849 --> 00:05:54,375
Oh, well, tests don't lie.

142
00:05:54,505 --> 00:05:57,856
I told you he's a good doctor.
You should've listened to him.

143
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,816
Your cholesterol is good,
your blood pressure is low--

144
00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:02,426
all your numbers look great.

145
00:06:02,557 --> 00:06:04,210
Huh. Terrific.

146
00:06:04,341 --> 00:06:06,343
Now all we've got to do is
schedule your colonoscopy.

147
00:06:06,474 --> 00:06:08,650
Uh, say what, now?

148
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:11,217
Your colonoscopy?
When it comes to colon cancer,

149
00:06:11,348 --> 00:06:13,176
early detection
can save your life.

150
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,483
It's standard procedure
for anyone over 45.

151
00:06:15,613 --> 00:06:17,528
Well, great, so there's no rush.

152
00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:19,400
I plan on being over 45

153
00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:22,446
the rest of my life.

154
00:06:22,577 --> 00:06:25,536
Look, I know the idea makes
a lot of men uncomfortable,

155
00:06:25,667 --> 00:06:27,886
but trust me,
it's not a big deal.

156
00:06:28,017 --> 00:06:30,106
First, you'll be put to sleep.

157
00:06:30,236 --> 00:06:34,458
Then we insert a small camera
into the rectum.

158
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,939
From there, it travels

159
00:06:37,069 --> 00:06:38,723
through your large intestine,

160
00:06:38,854 --> 00:06:40,464
then it zigs and it zags

161
00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:43,685
deeper and deeper
all the way

162
00:06:43,815 --> 00:06:45,643
up here into your
small intestine,

163
00:06:45,774 --> 00:06:47,297
taking pictures along the way.

164
00:06:48,559 --> 00:06:50,256
Then we just
reel it back in, and...

165
00:06:50,387 --> 00:06:52,737
[pops]
...out pops the camera.

166
00:06:52,868 --> 00:06:55,871
Well, that all
sounds delightful,

167
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:58,134
but, um... [pops]

168
00:06:58,264 --> 00:06:59,701
that's a hard pass.

169
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,009
[sighs]
Hey, man.

170
00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:05,750
Oh, hey, Malcolm.

171
00:07:05,881 --> 00:07:07,752
Whoa, what is under there?

172
00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:09,188
Uh, Marty?

173
00:07:09,319 --> 00:07:10,842
If it's another Lego Death Star,

174
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,844
you don't need to hide it
from me, man.

175
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:14,977
I already know you're a dork.

176
00:07:15,107 --> 00:07:18,197
For your information, that
was not the Death Star.

177
00:07:18,328 --> 00:07:19,808
That was the planet Tatooine.

178
00:07:19,938 --> 00:07:21,636
Okay? So who's the dork now?

179
00:07:21,766 --> 00:07:23,855
Right, okay, so, uh,

180
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,378
what is it?

181
00:07:25,509 --> 00:07:27,076
Uh, just a little
something to ensure

182
00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:28,512
that I win career day.

183
00:07:28,643 --> 00:07:30,035
"Win career day"?Mm-hmm.

184
00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:31,907
I didn't realize
it was a competition.

185
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,300
Oh, it won't be,
because I have this.

186
00:07:37,478 --> 00:07:38,566
Marty, I don't want to know

187
00:07:38,696 --> 00:07:40,437
what you do
with that robot hand,

188
00:07:40,568 --> 00:07:42,395
and I'm sure
the kids won't, either.

189
00:07:42,526 --> 00:07:44,659
Malcolm, meet Elliot,

190
00:07:44,789 --> 00:07:46,617
a fully articulated bionic
limb designed to make

191
00:07:46,748 --> 00:07:49,228
exterior repairs to the
International Space Station.

192
00:07:49,359 --> 00:07:51,143
He also gives
pretty sweet fist bumps.

193
00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:54,059
[exhales sharply, laughs]

194
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:56,758
[laughs]
All right.

195
00:07:56,888 --> 00:07:58,890
That is pretty impressive.I know, right?

196
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:01,676
Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it, because I have this.

197
00:08:01,806 --> 00:08:03,068
A stun gun?

198
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:05,331
Please. Elliot can crush steel

199
00:08:05,462 --> 00:08:08,030
and survive temperatures
down to 500 degrees below zero.

200
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,858
How can a stun gun compete?

201
00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:11,163
Maybe like this.

202
00:08:12,121 --> 00:08:15,211
[shouts]
Malcolm, are you crazy?

203
00:08:15,341 --> 00:08:17,213
Do you know how long
this is gonna take me to fix?

204
00:08:17,343 --> 00:08:18,867
Hopefully not too long,
because I would love

205
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:20,956
to do that again
in front of the kids.

206
00:08:21,086 --> 00:08:23,262
[laughs]

207
00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:31,401
Oh, hey, babe.

208
00:08:31,532 --> 00:08:34,360
So, what did the doctor say?

209
00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:36,624
Exactly what I
told you he would.

210
00:08:36,754 --> 00:08:38,800
I'm in perfect health.

211
00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:40,628
You know, I hate to say it,
but, uh,

212
00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:43,326
I think I'm gonna
outlive this one, too.

213
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,241
Well, that is such a relief.

214
00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:46,851
Did he say anything else?

215
00:08:46,982 --> 00:08:50,202
Uh, no, uh, not that I recall.

216
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:52,553
I am so happy to hear that.

217
00:08:52,683 --> 00:08:54,337
You know what? And to celebrate,

218
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,644
I've got something
very special planned for you.

219
00:08:56,774 --> 00:08:58,689
Okay. Uh, what's that?

220
00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:00,909
I scheduled your colonoscopy.

221
00:09:02,214 --> 00:09:04,216
Uh, s-say what, now?

222
00:09:05,261 --> 00:09:06,741
The doctor's office called.

223
00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:08,177
How could you leave there

224
00:09:08,307 --> 00:09:09,787
without scheduling
an appointment?

225
00:09:09,918 --> 00:09:11,528
Come on, Tina.
The doctor said I was healthy.

226
00:09:11,659 --> 00:09:12,921
Isn't that good enough?

227
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,879
No, Calvin,
that is not good enough.

228
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:16,751
You know, I looked it up online.

229
00:09:16,881 --> 00:09:21,538
Do you know that one in every
48 men will get colon cancer?

230
00:09:21,669 --> 00:09:23,801
And that number
is even worse for Black men.

231
00:09:23,932 --> 00:09:25,934
Well, you know what's worse
for this Black man?

232
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:29,415
Is having someone turn
my ass into a photo booth.

233
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:33,942
Calvin, this is nonnegotiable.

234
00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:35,944
You're too important to me.

235
00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:39,251
So here.

236
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,472
What's that?

237
00:09:42,603 --> 00:09:43,908
It's your dinner for tonight.

238
00:09:44,039 --> 00:09:45,823
It's a stimulant laxative
that will

239
00:09:45,954 --> 00:09:47,520
flush out your system.

240
00:09:47,651 --> 00:09:48,957
Come on, Tina. Quit playing.

241
00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:50,611
I don't want that stuff
inside my body.

242
00:09:50,741 --> 00:09:52,308
Oh, don't worry, baby.

243
00:09:52,438 --> 00:09:54,310
It won't be for long.

244
00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:03,319
Morning, babe. How you feeling?

245
00:10:03,449 --> 00:10:05,495
Terrible.
That laxative had me running

246
00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:07,497
to the bathroom all night.

247
00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:09,630
Aw, poor baby. I would hug you,

248
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,589
but squeezing you right now
might not be a good idea.

249
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,027
Don't worry, Tina.
There's nothing left.

250
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,856
I haven't felt this empty
since N.W.A broke up.

251
00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:22,643
W-Well, wait.
What are you doing sitting down?

252
00:10:22,773 --> 00:10:24,340
You got to go get dressed
for your appointment.

253
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:27,473
You know, I was thinking
about rescheduling.

254
00:10:27,604 --> 00:10:30,520
We got a big shipment
coming into the shop today.

255
00:10:30,651 --> 00:10:33,044
Calvin, it's a box
of air fresheners.

256
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,699
I know.
I just need to be there

257
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:37,614
to make sure Hector
doesn't steal 'em

258
00:10:37,745 --> 00:10:39,355
like he does the paper towels.

259
00:10:39,485 --> 00:10:42,227
Calvin, I can take care
of the shop.

260
00:10:42,358 --> 00:10:44,186
[knock on door]

261
00:10:44,316 --> 00:10:47,232
Oh, hold on.
If you're at the shop

262
00:10:47,363 --> 00:10:49,147
and the doctor says
I can't drive myself,

263
00:10:49,278 --> 00:10:50,453
who's taking me?

264
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,543
Oh, hey, buddy.
Ready to go?

265
00:10:54,849 --> 00:10:58,417
Seriously? Dave's taking me
to my colonoscopy?

266
00:10:58,548 --> 00:11:01,072
Why not? You always said
he was a pain in the ass.

267
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:03,814
Just think of him as
the pregame warm-up.

268
00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:09,515
Hey, Gemma.

269
00:11:09,646 --> 00:11:11,039
Hey, Malcolm.
Where's Marty?

270
00:11:11,169 --> 00:11:13,955
I thought he was coming, too.Uh, I don't know.

271
00:11:14,085 --> 00:11:15,608
Maybe we should check
the lockers.

272
00:11:15,739 --> 00:11:18,394
He has a long history
of getting stuffed in 'em.

273
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,441
Okay, class, let's get started.

274
00:11:22,572 --> 00:11:24,966
I just stopped by because
Grover's special guest

275
00:11:25,096 --> 00:11:27,882
for career day is
a close friend of mine.

276
00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:32,451
In fact, he's so close,
he's actually my neighbor!

277
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,761
Okay, take it away, Grover.

278
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:40,938
I told her that wouldn't work.

279
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:48,598
My career day guest
has the coolest job ever.

280
00:11:48,729 --> 00:11:52,428
I don't want to brag, but
he's pretty much a superhero,

281
00:11:52,558 --> 00:11:55,997
and his name is
Malcolm Butler!

282
00:11:56,127 --> 00:11:57,999
Well, thank you, G-man.

283
00:11:58,129 --> 00:12:00,436
I don'’t know if I would say
superhero, but then again,

284
00:12:00,566 --> 00:12:03,265
that's exactly what
a superhero would say.

285
00:12:03,395 --> 00:12:04,832
[chuckles]

286
00:12:04,962 --> 00:12:06,834
Now, as a security guard,

287
00:12:06,964 --> 00:12:08,923
my job is to keep people safe.

288
00:12:09,053 --> 00:12:10,707
Which is why I always
make sure...

289
00:12:10,838 --> 00:12:14,537
[loud fanfare playing]

290
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,409
♪

291
00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:31,815
What's up, tiny Earthlings?

292
00:12:31,946 --> 00:12:32,947
Are you kidding me?

293
00:12:33,077 --> 00:12:35,645
This is so cool.

294
00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:37,429
Guys, this is Marty.

295
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:41,999
He's, uh, uh,
what's-his-name's brother.

296
00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:44,306
Sorry I'm late, guys.
It was hard to find parking...

297
00:12:44,436 --> 00:12:46,874
for my spaceship. Oh!

298
00:12:48,789 --> 00:12:52,705
Okay, it's in that
parking lot up there.
Okay.

299
00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:55,708
You know, I'm really glad
you decided to do this.

300
00:12:55,839 --> 00:12:57,493
After all, the
healthier you are,

301
00:12:57,623 --> 00:12:59,234
the longer we get
to be friends.

302
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:01,671
Yeah. You know,
I thought about that, too,

303
00:13:01,802 --> 00:13:04,587
and then I decided
to do it anyway.

304
00:13:05,675 --> 00:13:07,590
Good, we're here,
so pull in that space.

305
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,853
Okay.

306
00:13:09,984 --> 00:13:13,291
Wait a second, uh...

307
00:13:13,422 --> 00:13:14,989
I don't see
a doctor's office.

308
00:13:15,119 --> 00:13:17,469
All I see is a
Dave & Buster's.

309
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,471
Because that's where
we're going, Dave.

310
00:13:19,602 --> 00:13:21,909
Happy friendiversary.

311
00:13:24,215 --> 00:13:27,392
Okay, Calvin, we are supposed
to be going to your colonoscopy,

312
00:13:27,523 --> 00:13:29,917
not combining all the
innocent fun of childhood

313
00:13:30,047 --> 00:13:32,006
with the alcoholic
fun of adulthood.

314
00:13:33,268 --> 00:13:35,313
I know, I know,
but a colonoscopy,

315
00:13:35,444 --> 00:13:36,793
that's just about me.

316
00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:39,927
A friendiversary is about us.

317
00:13:40,057 --> 00:13:42,538
[sighs heavily]

318
00:13:42,668 --> 00:13:45,976
You have no idea how long
I've waited to hear those words.

319
00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:49,545
But no, Calvin, I won't do it.

320
00:13:49,675 --> 00:13:51,025
Your health is too important.

321
00:13:51,155 --> 00:13:52,374
Oh, come on.

322
00:13:52,504 --> 00:13:54,593
What could possibly
be more important

323
00:13:54,724 --> 00:13:58,641
than spending a full day of
uninterrupted fun with your...

324
00:14:00,643 --> 00:14:02,297
...BFF?

325
00:14:05,039 --> 00:14:06,779
That is a dirty trick, Calvin.

326
00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:08,433
And what's worse is
you didn't tell me

327
00:14:08,564 --> 00:14:10,174
so I could have worn mine.

328
00:14:11,523 --> 00:14:13,221
Come on, Dave,
so what's it gonna be?

329
00:14:13,351 --> 00:14:14,875
We gonna do this or what?

330
00:14:16,528 --> 00:14:18,530
Calvin, I don't know.

331
00:14:18,661 --> 00:14:20,793
All right, okay,
how about this?

332
00:14:20,924 --> 00:14:23,318
We play one game of Skee-Ball.

333
00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:27,104
If you win, I go ahead
and get my colonoscopy.

334
00:14:27,235 --> 00:14:31,717
If I win, you treat
my recently evacuated colon

335
00:14:31,848 --> 00:14:33,545
to hot wings and beer.

336
00:14:34,764 --> 00:14:36,548
Okay, you know what, fine.

337
00:14:36,679 --> 00:14:39,551
If that's the only way that I
can make you do it, then I'm in.

338
00:14:39,682 --> 00:14:41,466
Great. Come on, let's go.

339
00:14:41,597 --> 00:14:44,469
But FYI, that shirt would look
a lot cooler as a tank top.

340
00:14:49,518 --> 00:14:51,999
Hey.
Well, there he is.

341
00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:55,437
The world's first
jackass-tronaut.

342
00:14:55,567 --> 00:14:57,482
Hey, don't be mad at me.

343
00:14:57,613 --> 00:15:00,094
It's not my fault the kids voted
to have a mural of me

344
00:15:00,224 --> 00:15:02,009
painted on the handball court.

345
00:15:02,139 --> 00:15:04,359
Well, congratulations, Marty.

346
00:15:04,489 --> 00:15:07,362
You officially won career day
and made me look like a chump.

347
00:15:07,492 --> 00:15:09,277
Oh, come on, man,
that's not what I meant to do.

348
00:15:09,407 --> 00:15:10,931
Well, what did you mean to do?

349
00:15:11,061 --> 00:15:12,802
Malcolm, ever since
we were kids,

350
00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:15,370
you were always the cool one,
but I was the nerd.

351
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,111
The geek. The...

352
00:15:17,241 --> 00:15:19,113
whatever else Dad
used to call me.

353
00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:21,985
Oh, you mean like poindexter

354
00:15:22,116 --> 00:15:23,900
and brainiac.

355
00:15:24,031 --> 00:15:27,251
My favorite was
dork chocolate.

356
00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:29,471
It's hard to forget that one

357
00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:31,168
when he wrote it
on my birthday cake.

358
00:15:32,909 --> 00:15:34,432
I mean, I know
it might sound dumb,

359
00:15:34,563 --> 00:15:37,609
but I was really excited
to go back to school for a day

360
00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:39,524
and be the cool guy I never was.

361
00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:40,917
Oh, come on, man,
you were cool.

362
00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:42,049
Oh, yeah, right.

363
00:15:42,179 --> 00:15:43,789
No, I'm serious, Marty.

364
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,183
I mean, I'm a really
confident dude,

365
00:15:46,314 --> 00:15:48,316
but I think I would have
felt ridiculous

366
00:15:48,446 --> 00:15:51,449
walking into that classroom
in a damn space suit.

367
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:53,408
But not you.

368
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:54,931
You owned it.

369
00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:56,759
And if owning who you are
is not cool,

370
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,457
then, little brother,
I don't know what is.

371
00:15:59,588 --> 00:16:01,894
It was pretty cool, right?Yeah.

372
00:16:02,025 --> 00:16:03,244
And the lunch lady even gave me
her phone number.

373
00:16:03,374 --> 00:16:04,636
[both laugh]

374
00:16:04,767 --> 00:16:06,856
You see, man, you should
keep that suit.

375
00:16:06,987 --> 00:16:08,553
A lunch lady today,

376
00:16:08,684 --> 00:16:10,816
maybe someone under 60 tomorrow.

377
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,603
I wish I could keep it.

378
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:15,821
Too bad it's
a top secret prototype

379
00:16:15,952 --> 00:16:17,345
worth a million dollars.

380
00:16:17,475 --> 00:16:20,000
What? You snuck
a million-dollar space suit

381
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:21,740
out of a high-security facility

382
00:16:21,871 --> 00:16:23,133
to impress a bunch
of fourth-graders?

383
00:16:23,264 --> 00:16:24,787
Are you crazy?!

384
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,223
I don't know, but I'll tell you
what's crazier.

385
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:27,790
You're gonna help me
sneak it back in.

386
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,748
[laughs]:
Uh-uh.

387
00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:32,577
There's no way, man. Why would I
risk my job to do that?

388
00:16:32,708 --> 00:16:34,449
Well, because I snuck it out
on your watch.

389
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:37,930
Grab the suit. Let's go.Okay.

390
00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:46,809
[bell rings]Yes!

391
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,507
Another 30. You are definitely
getting your colonoscopy today.

392
00:16:51,205 --> 00:16:52,684
This isn't fair.

393
00:16:52,815 --> 00:16:54,338
You didn't tell me
you were great at Skee-Ball.

394
00:16:54,469 --> 00:16:56,036
That's right.
Because if I did,

395
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:57,559
you might have
picked Whac-A-Mole.

396
00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:59,256
It just makes me feel weird

397
00:16:59,387 --> 00:17:02,607
smashing those cute
little guys over the head.

398
00:17:02,738 --> 00:17:05,480
Well, I can still win this thing

399
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:07,351
if I get that hundred
in the corner.

400
00:17:07,482 --> 00:17:08,961
Please, Calvin,
nobody ever hits those.

401
00:17:09,092 --> 00:17:10,485
You might as well give up now.

402
00:17:10,615 --> 00:17:11,616
Uh-uh.

403
00:17:11,747 --> 00:17:13,618
If I get this ball
in that hole,

404
00:17:13,749 --> 00:17:16,056
that means no one's
getting near mine.

405
00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:20,016
♪

406
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,250
[bell rings]Oh!

407
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:38,643
[laughing]

408
00:17:41,037 --> 00:17:43,126
How the hell'd you do that?

409
00:17:43,257 --> 00:17:44,954
Well, let's just say I was

410
00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:47,217
literally fighting
to save my ass.

411
00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:55,399
Okay, you know what,
Calvin, fine, you win.

412
00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:58,098
But I don't...
I don't get it.

413
00:17:58,228 --> 00:18:00,274
You know, you are one of
the toughest guys I know.

414
00:18:00,404 --> 00:18:03,103
How are you this afraid
of a minor medical procedure?

415
00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:06,149
It's not the procedure
I'm afraid of, Dave.

416
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,326
Okay, well, then what is it?

417
00:18:09,457 --> 00:18:11,328
What if they find something?
All right?

418
00:18:11,459 --> 00:18:13,113
I just got a clean bill
of health.

419
00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:14,810
I want to quit while I'm ahead.

420
00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:17,726
Okay, Calvin,
what does that even mean?

421
00:18:17,856 --> 00:18:20,946
It means if I'm sick,
I don't want to know.

422
00:18:21,077 --> 00:18:24,124
Look, Tina said that
one out of 48 men

423
00:18:24,254 --> 00:18:25,908
get colon cancer.

424
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,215
What if I'm number 48?

425
00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:31,870
But not knowing doesn't
keep you from being sick.

426
00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:35,135
It keeps you from being able
to do anything about it.

427
00:18:36,397 --> 00:18:38,616
Look, I know this
doesn't make any sense,

428
00:18:38,747 --> 00:18:42,490
but this disease is
even worse for Black men,

429
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:47,234
and... I just can't think
of the possibility

430
00:18:47,364 --> 00:18:49,323
of not being there
for my family.

431
00:18:49,453 --> 00:18:51,977
Yeah, but isn't family
the whole point?

432
00:18:52,108 --> 00:18:54,110
I mean, how would...
how would you feel

433
00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:57,157
if Tina or the boys
were in your situation?

434
00:18:57,287 --> 00:18:58,854
Wouldn't you want them
to know the truth

435
00:18:58,984 --> 00:19:00,682
so if there was
some sort of bad news

436
00:19:00,812 --> 00:19:02,423
they could do something
about it?

437
00:19:02,553 --> 00:19:04,076
Of course I would.

438
00:19:04,207 --> 00:19:05,817
Well, then don't you think
you owe it to them

439
00:19:05,948 --> 00:19:07,297
to do the same?

440
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:12,955
Come on, Calvin,
you know I'm right.

441
00:19:14,913 --> 00:19:17,046
Fine. Let's go.

442
00:19:17,177 --> 00:19:19,091
Great.

443
00:19:19,222 --> 00:19:23,531
But before we do, I want you
to know something, Dave.

444
00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:28,927
You are my BFF.

445
00:19:30,364 --> 00:19:31,626
Thank you.

446
00:19:33,628 --> 00:19:35,325
You know, with you
wearing that shirt,

447
00:19:35,456 --> 00:19:37,109
well, it'll kind of be like,

448
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,937
you know, we're in
that room together.

449
00:19:39,068 --> 00:19:41,549
And you took it too far!

450
00:19:48,338 --> 00:19:50,775
Smells good, babe.
What are we having?

451
00:19:50,906 --> 00:19:53,648
Well, in honor of the good news
about your colonoscopy,

452
00:19:53,778 --> 00:19:56,390
I thought we'd celebrate
with rump roast.

453
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,044
[laughter]

454
00:19:59,175 --> 00:20:01,525
Very funny. Go ahead.

455
00:20:01,656 --> 00:20:03,266
Get it out of your system.

456
00:20:03,397 --> 00:20:06,008
After that orange laxative,
I know I did.

457
00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:08,837
Well, seriously, Pop,

458
00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,839
I'm really glad that
you went through with it.

459
00:20:10,969 --> 00:20:12,623
Yeah, Dad, we're
proud of you, man.

460
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,495
I mean, I would have preferred
you showed us the pictures

461
00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:16,584
afterdinner, but still.

462
00:20:18,716 --> 00:20:21,502
Well, what's important is
now we know that you're gonna

463
00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:23,112
be with us a long time.

464
00:20:23,243 --> 00:20:25,854
Yeah. And pretty soon, we'll
know the same about you.

465
00:20:25,984 --> 00:20:27,377
Ah. What do you mean?

466
00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:29,249
Well, I talked
to your doctor today

467
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:31,860
and scheduled yourcolonoscopy.

468
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:34,341
Say what, now?

469
00:20:34,471 --> 00:20:38,519
Babe, it's just as important
that women get them, too.

470
00:20:38,649 --> 00:20:41,609
So, here you go.

471
00:20:44,002 --> 00:20:45,090
[pops]

472
00:20:45,221 --> 00:20:46,614
Enjoy your dinner.

473
00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:54,317
Colon cancer is 90% treatable
if detected early.

474
00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:57,407
Go to
StandUpToCancer.org/ColonCancer

475
00:20:57,538 --> 00:20:59,279
for information
on which screening test

476
00:20:59,409 --> 00:21:00,671
may be right for you.

477
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,112
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

478
00:21:07,243 --> 00:21:10,115
and TOYOTA.

479
00:21:10,246 --> 00:21:11,856
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org