1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,051
I hope Que's still here.
[grunts]

2
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,097
My bladder's about to burst.

3
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,751
Well, it's your own fault.

4
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,753
I've never seen a restaurant
cut a guy off

5
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,755
from bottomless lemonade.

6
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,670
It's a medical thing.

7
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,716
Dry tongue runs in my family.

8
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:25,808
Hey, Calvin, Dave.
What's up?

9
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,549
Uh, your toilet seat
in about three seconds.

10
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:32,902
Eh, sorry about that, Que.
I'm still potty training him.

11
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,947
[chuckles]
When I did that with my dog,

12
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:37,124
I used to whack him
with a rolled-up newspaper.

13
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:39,256
[laughs]
I tried that. It didn't work.

14
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,041
[laughs]

15
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,955
Oh, sorry, man, we're closed.

16
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,653
I'm not here for a haircut.

17
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:47,047
I'm here for the money.
Now hand it over.

18
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,178
[scoffs]What?

19
00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:49,875
Why would he give you any money?

20
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,748
Because right now
I'm asking nicely.

21
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:57,318
Oh.
I mean, he did ask politely.

22
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,670
Well, don't just stand there,
Que. Do something.

23
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:02,714
Good call.

24
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:05,108
See ya!Seriously?

25
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:08,198
If you didn't cut my hair for
free, I would change barbers!

26
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,939
All right, you.

27
00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,201
Empty the cash box.

28
00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,898
No problem.
After what he just did,

29
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:16,641
I'd give you the tip jar, too.

30
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,817
Ooh, that feels much better.

31
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,951
And who put my phone number
above the urinal?

32
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,562
Uh, uh, Dave?

33
00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:27,217
Oh, hey.
Dave Johnson.

34
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,958
You just stay right there.

35
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:32,657
[chuckles]
Don't worry, I washed my hands.

36
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,920
He doesn't care
about your hygiene, Dave.

37
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:36,400
He's here to rob the place.

38
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:41,057
Oh. Well, in that case, uh,
I take my handshake back.

39
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,146
Get over there
with your friend.

40
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,801
I think you mean
best friend.

41
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,324
Dave,

42
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,239
now is not the time.

43
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,067
Okay, all right, well,

44
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,722
let me just go over here
so I can...

45
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:55,593
powder your nose!
[screams]

46
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,595
Quick, Calvin, call the police!

47
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,510
I will. But first
let me grab his gun.

48
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,251
What...
He has a gun?

49
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,688
Dave, get over here
and hold him down!

50
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:07,257
Okay!
[yelping]

51
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:09,825
Thank God this happened
after I peed.

52
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,611
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

53
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:14,873
♪ Welcome to the hood.

54
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,793
So then the cops came,
they took the dude away

55
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,273
and asked us for our statements.

56
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:25,275
Yeah, which was hard
for me to give,

57
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:28,017
because my dry tongue came
back with a vengeance.

58
00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:30,498
[scoffs]

59
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:33,370
I still can't believe
you guys got robbed at gunpoint.

60
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,807
I'm just so glad
you're both okay.

61
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,941
Yeah, me, too.
Aw, baby.

62
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,943
I don't want you
going back to the barbershop.

63
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,901
I'll cut your hair from now on.

64
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:50,082
Thanks, babe, but I'd rather
take my chances with the gun.

65
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,302
It's so cool
what you did, Dad.

66
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:55,697
You're like Batman,
except with a much lamer car.

67
00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:01,006
It was not that big a deal,
and, Grover,

68
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,966
there is nothing lame
about a reliable hatchback

69
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,969
that gets 30 miles
to the gallon.

70
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,667
Y-You know what?
Grover's right.

71
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,147
You're a hero, Dave.

72
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,018
Just because
you got a boring car

73
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,846
and an unintimidating physique

74
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:18,067
and a pretty squeaky
voice, uh...

75
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,243
w-where was I going with this?

76
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,245
Uh, well,

77
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,247
I think you were
complimenting me.

78
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,206
Oh. Yes. Right.

79
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,817
Look, the point is
is I owe you one.

80
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,427
[laughs softly]

81
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:32,429
Well, in that case,
why don't you finally let me

82
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,214
teach you to play Frisbee golf?

83
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:39,088
Like I told Tina, I'd rather
take my chances with the gun.

84
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,310
Oh, hey, Gemma.

85
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,746
Hi, Marty.

86
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:45,877
You know,
it's pretty crazy what happened

87
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,096
to Dave and my dad
last night, huh?

88
00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:49,316
Crazy?
More like horrifying,

89
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:53,145
or terrifying or
"I didn't sleep a wink"-ifying.

90
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:55,409
Oh, so school principals
can just make up words now?

91
00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,239
I'm just so freaked out.

92
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,066
I know they're okay,
but I keep imagining

93
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,068
all the things
that could've gone wrong.

94
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,853
You know, I do the same thing
whenever I'm thinking

95
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,942
of asking a girl out,
but it always winds up okay.

96
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,030
Really?

97
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,336
Yeah, 'cause I never do it.

98
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:12,121
[laughs]

99
00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:13,470
Ugh, I just wish
there was something

100
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,864
that could help me
take my mind off of it.

101
00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:16,995
Well, if you want,
you can come help me

102
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,083
work in my vegetable garden.

103
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,085
I always find it's relaxing.You do?

104
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:23,741
Yeah, it's peaceful, quiet,
it helps me clear my head.

105
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,177
All right, I'll give it a shot.

106
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,875
Great.

107
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,311
It'll be fun-tasterrific.

108
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,834
Nice try, Marty,

109
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,010
but leave the fake-titious words
to the professionals.

110
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:39,017
Hey, hey, y'all.
Here's the man of the hour.

111
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,367
And I also brought Dave.

112
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,412
[cheering]

113
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:43,848
Whoa, I wasn't
expecting all this.

114
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,328
Looks like word
spread pretty fast.

115
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,374
Yeah, almost as fast
as Que ran his ass out of here

116
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:48,940
when he saw that gun.

117
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,115
[laughter]

118
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,335
Hey, I ran to call the cops,

119
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,945
'cause I just get
better phone reception

120
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,512
hiding underneath my bed.

121
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:57,949
So, come on, Dave.

122
00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:59,429
Give us the details.

123
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,170
Oh, yeah, and you ain't got
to start from the beginning.

124
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:03,433
Que filled us in on
the first ten seconds.

125
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,087
[laughter]

126
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:07,481
I mean, come on, guys, it-it
really was not that big a deal.

127
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:10,092
I, just, was in the right place
at the right time.

128
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,137
Dave, stop being so modest.

129
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:14,226
This might actually
be the only time

130
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:17,447
somebody really wants
to hear what you got to say.

131
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,971
Yeah, man, tell us
how you took this fool down.

132
00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:21,451
Okay, look, I...
[sighs]

133
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,323
I guess it all started
when I looked at the menu

134
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,194
and I saw the words
"bottomless lemonade."

135
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:28,415
Okay, Dave, you have been cool
for, like, 12 hours.

136
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,112
Don't blow it now.

137
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:33,463
Okay, look,
there's not that much to say.

138
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,291
You know, I came out
of the bathroom, I saw the guy,

139
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,337
and I could sense
that something was wrong.

140
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,816
Ooh, like Spider-Man.

141
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,210
I told y'all
Spidey-senses was real.

142
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:47,564
Come on, Randy,
I'm not Spider-Man.

143
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,218
Although...

144
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:51,481
a lot of people
have been comparing me

145
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:54,354
to Batman.

146
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,008
They've all been
under the age of ten,

147
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,010
but ain't lying.

148
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,317
Keep going, man.

149
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,363
All right, well, I mean,
I guess I could tell you

150
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,365
what I did to the guy or...

151
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:06,975
I could show you!

152
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:09,281
[shouts]Hey, hey!

153
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,376
You were right, Marty.

154
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,334
This is really
helping me calm down.

155
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,857
Yeah, I know.

156
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,033
I just love getting my
hands down in the earth,

157
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:24,384
nurturing my little
baby vegetables.

158
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,907
It helps me stay grounded.

159
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,431
Plus, their
dependence on me

160
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:30,912
makes me feel like a god.

161
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,611
Oh, hey, Gemma.
What are you doing out here

162
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:37,266
with Marty
and his Cabbage Patch Kids?

163
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:40,051
Well, Marty thought gardening
might help take my mind

164
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:42,402
off what happened last night,
and he was right.

165
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,882
It is so nice
to only be thinking about

166
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,101
what's right in front of me.

167
00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:48,451
Carrots and radishes...
Oh, my God!

168
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,410
What?! Did you see
a potato bug?

169
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:53,195
Show me and I will
smite him!

170
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,893
No, my wedding ring is missing.

171
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,156
It must have fallen off
somewhere in the garden.

172
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,116
Okay, don't worry, i-it's got
to be in here somewhere.

173
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,900
Uh, we'll just dig around
until we find it.

174
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,207
Uh, well, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but-but please be careful.

175
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,730
Remember, these are my babies.

176
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:09,167
The hell with that. One
of your babies stole my ring.

177
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:17,437
So I looked the guy
straight in the eye and I said,

178
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,569
"We can do this the easy way

179
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,571
"or we can do it the hard way.

180
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:25,096
And F.Y.I.,
I like it the hard way."

181
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,404
I think they
get the picture, Dave.

182
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,406
Especially after
you drew them one.

183
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,017
I got to give it to you, Dave,

184
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,976
I-I had no idea
you were such a tough dude.

185
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,456
Hey, I don't
go looking for trouble,

186
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,370
but when I hear
it's looking for me,

187
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:42,592
I raise my hand and I say,
"Dave Johnson, who dis?"

188
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:45,552
Ooh! Hey, yo, Calvin,
how come you ain't never tell us

189
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:48,468
Dave know how to throw
them hands, man?

190
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,948
I guess I never
really had the time.

191
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:54,474
Because clearly it takes
an hour and a half.

192
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,042
Hey, Dave, now that I know
you can hang,

193
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:01,481
I run a little private casino
situation a few times a week.

194
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:04,135
You know, poker, shooting pool,
throwing dice.

195
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,963
You should come by tonight.Uh, actually,

196
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,445
Trey, I don't believe that
that's Dave's scene.

197
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,621
What are you talking about,
Calvin? I love a good dice game.

198
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,406
You know, I don't want to brag,
but I once threw

199
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,408
three Yahtzees in a row.

200
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:19,411
[laughter]

201
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,457
Man, you're funny.

202
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,980
But don't make
any jokes tonight.

203
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,329
Laughing always leads to fights.

204
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,114
Why?

205
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:29,117
I never asked.
Questions also lead to fights.

206
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,599
Hey, Dave, can I talk
to you for a minute?

207
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:35,253
Yeah, uh, hold on.
[sighs] What's up?

208
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:38,082
Look, trust me,
you do not want

209
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:40,563
any part of Trey's "casino."

210
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,043
Why not?

211
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,132
It's a rough crowd, man.

212
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:46,700
You say the wrong thing in there
and they'll whup your ass

213
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,441
till you're as bottomless
as those lemonades.

214
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:54,011
Okay, Calvin,
I appreciate your concern,

215
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,537
but I think I've proven
that I can handle myself.

216
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,235
Okay, all right,
look, I get it.

217
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:03,325
Uh, y-you're feeling yourself,
and that's cool, man.

218
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,719
But we both know
things didn't go down

219
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:08,330
exactly the way
you've been telling those guys.

220
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:11,289
Name one thing
that didn't happen.

221
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,510
You running up the wall
to do a flying kick.

222
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,470
Okay, well, name another.

223
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:22,126
You running up that wall
to do a second flying kick.

224
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:24,520
Come on, man.

225
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,087
I'm just trying
to protect you here.

226
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,436
Oh, you mean like the way

227
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,699
that I had to protect you
last night?

228
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:31,614
Excuse me?

229
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,224
Yeah, that's right.

230
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,617
While I was taking care
of business

231
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,358
and you were just
standing there doing nothing.

232
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:38,708
Oh.
Oh, oh, okay.

233
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,449
All right.

234
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,625
So that's the way
you feel about it?

235
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,193
Yeah.
That's the way I feel.

236
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:47,804
All right, then fine.

237
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:50,285
Knock yourself out.
Or better yet,

238
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,635
take Yahtzee
and somebody else will.

239
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,426
[whoops][cheering]

240
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,518
Hey, Dave, glad
you made it.

241
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,259
Oh, me, too.

242
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,653
Wow, Trey, you've got
a nice setup here.

243
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,437
You even have a coat check guy.

244
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,657
We don't have a coat check guy.

245
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:18,269
Well, in that case it looks like
I don't have a coat.

246
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:23,100
Uh, I brought some red wine
and a charcuterie tray.

247
00:10:23,144 --> 00:10:25,494
Uh, you might want
to give the guys a heads-up.

248
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:28,366
The Roquefort
is a little robust.

249
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,281
Great. I'll let
Mad Dog know.

250
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,849
For a tough dude, he has
very delicate taste buds.

251
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,853
Okay, what should I do first?

252
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,768
I've got a hundred bucks
burning a hole in my coat po...

253
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:42,293
Ah, damn it.

254
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,773
It's cool.
I got you, Dave.

255
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,819
But next time, if somebody
offers to park your car,

256
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,647
we don't have
a valet either.

257
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,388
Yo, guys, this is my boy Dave.

258
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:53,174
That's Carlos, Ricky and Eddie.

259
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:56,525
I'd shake your hands but,
uh, I have cheese fingers.

260
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:59,136
[dice rattling]

261
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,355
Yeah!

262
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,487
What's up with you, Eddie?

263
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,706
You just got out of jail.

264
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,317
That usually puts a smile
on your face.

265
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,364
I know, but my favorite
cousin just went in.

266
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,845
He got busted last night
trying to rob a barbershop.

267
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:22,203
What's that you say?

268
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:24,596
Yeah, some clown jumped him
with a broom

269
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,381
and held him
till the cops showed up.

270
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:30,254
What a crazy story

271
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:34,781
that I am definitely hearing
for the very first time.

272
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:37,218
Crazy's gonna be what
I do to the guy

273
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,872
if I ever find out who did it.

274
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,483
I would do the same thing

275
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,833
if I ever found me...
I mean him.

276
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,229
Trey, why would you
invite me here?

277
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:50,231
Dave, I swear, I didn't
know they were related.

278
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,754
But you gotta go.

279
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,451
If I get any blood stains
in this place,

280
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,672
I'm gonna lose my
cleaning deposit.Okay. Okay, okay.

281
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,413
I... Look, I'm out of here.

282
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,632
Uh, guys, it was
very nice meeting you.

283
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,765
Whoa, whoa. Hold on, man,
you can't leave.

284
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,203
House rules.
New guy always rolls.

285
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,292
Well, that's very thoughtful
of you,

286
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,207
but I-I really should be going.

287
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:13,645
But feel free to help yourself
to some charcuterie

288
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:16,387
and a very oaky merlot.

289
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:19,521
I wasn't asking you.
I was telling you.

290
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,698
New guy rolls.

291
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:30,314
Okay, but, uh...

292
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,316
I warned you
about the cheese fingers,

293
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,580
so if these dice get stinky,
well...

294
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:36,886
that's on you!

295
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,888
[dice rattling]

296
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:40,629
[exclaims]
Oh, yeah.

297
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:48,506
Oh, my ring has to
be here somewhere!

298
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,899
Keep digging.

299
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,293
Oh, okay, okay.
But-but take it easy.

300
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,295
You are destroying
my entire garden.

301
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:56,776
Oh, that's not true.
Your carrots are still safe.

302
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,604
Oh, my God, it might be
in the carrots.

303
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:03,478
Uh, okay,
this is a disaster!

304
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:06,350
All I have left
is two strawberries,

305
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,830
some kale and a beet.

306
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,353
If you'll excuse me,
I'm going inside

307
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,442
to make the world's
saddest smoothie.

308
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:16,970
I feel so bad for Marty.

309
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,363
I think it's gonna be
a long time before

310
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,844
I'll be able to eat
a vegetable again.

311
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,368
Nice try, Grover.

312
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,587
It was worth a shot.

313
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,813
Hey, Calvin, what are
you doing home?

314
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,858
I thought you were
hanging out with Dave tonight.

315
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,773
Change of plans.

316
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:41,298
Dave went to Trey's
underground casino.

317
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:43,648
So I decided to stay home

318
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,868
and do something fun
with you instead.

319
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,609
Are you crazy?!

320
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,874
You let Dave go to
Trey's by himself?

321
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:55,008
Okay, so maybe I should have
gone bowling.

322
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,533
Calvin, how could
you do that?

323
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,578
You know how rough
things get over there.

324
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,364
Hey, I tried to warn him,
but he wouldn't listen.

325
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,757
So now he's got to learn
the hard way.

326
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:08,673
Because apparently,
that's the way he likes it.

327
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,460
What are you
talking about?

328
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:15,463
Hey, you should have heard him
down at the shop

329
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,726
bragging about how tough he is.

330
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,902
So?So?

331
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:23,688
This is the same Dave
whose favorite season is autumn

332
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:26,039
because he loves to jump
in leaf piles.

333
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,827
Come on, Calvin, give
him a break. You know?

334
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,481
He's just excited
'cause he's finally

335
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,656
getting some shine.

336
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:35,962
What do you mean?

337
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:38,573
I mean, when you and Dave
go down to the shop,

338
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,357
you know, you're always
the big dog.

339
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:43,578
The one in the spotlight
getting everyone's respect.

340
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:45,885
What do you think that's like?

341
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:49,410
Oh, I know what it's like.
It's amazing.

342
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,542
I meant for Dave.

343
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,936
Come on, Calvin,
think about it.

344
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,938
He doesn't get
to experience that.

345
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,723
So can you blame him for
getting carried away?

346
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,987
Eh, I guess not.

347
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,553
See?
You know what?

348
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:05,121
I better get down there
and make sure he's okay.

349
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,602
Oh, good. Take your coat
'cause it's cold out.

350
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:10,387
Oh, I'm taking two,
'cause ten bucks says

351
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:11,606
Dave already lost his.

352
00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:19,396
It's no use.
We've looked everywhere.

353
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,789
We're never gonna find it.

354
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:23,009
Oh, don't worry, Gemma,
I'm sure it'll turn up.

355
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,750
Look, maybe one day Marty
will be eating a salad,

356
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,405
and boom-- "Ah, chipped tooth.

357
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,754
There it is."

358
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:35,064
I know you're trying to help,
but I just feel terrible.

359
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,805
First I almost lose Dave,

360
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,590
now I lose the ring he gave me
when we got married.

361
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:43,029
Okay, that's true, but
think about it this way.

362
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:45,945
You didn't lose Dave.
He's totally fine.

363
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,990
All you lost was
a piece of jewelry.

364
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:52,429
You're right. I'm focusing
on the wrong thing.

365
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,779
Dave's okay,
and that's all that matters.

366
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,607
Exactly.

367
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:59,088
I mean, if you think about it,
the ring was just a symbol

368
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:03,092
of what's really important:
the love we have for each other.

369
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,877
As long as we have that,
who needs a silly little...

370
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,792
Mom, Mom, Mom!
I found your ring!

371
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,620
Oh, thank God!
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

372
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,974
It was in a little tray
next to the kitchen sink.

373
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,933
That's right, I took it off
to wash the dishes

374
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,587
right before I came
over here to...

375
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:23,634
Murder every one
of Marty's veggie babies

376
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:24,984
for no reason.

377
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,466
That is a very harsh...

378
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,642
yet accurate way to say it.

379
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,949
So...

380
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,472
what are you gonna tell Marty?

381
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,518
[sighs]

382
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,650
Well, sweetie, as
hard as it may be,

383
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:42,479
when you make a mistake
and you hurt somebody,

384
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,655
you always have to
tell them the truth.

385
00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:45,961
Oh, the truth about what?

386
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,529
That I just found my ring
right here!

387
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,663
But you just said that...Hey, hey, hey, kid,

388
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,143
play your cards right
and you won't have to

389
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,710
eat a vegetable for years.

390
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,714
[dice rattling]

391
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:02,151
[all cheer]

392
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,764
Man, you're on the hottest
streak I've ever seen.

393
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,070
Yeah, man, you can't lose.

394
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,203
Yeah, lucky me.
It's like I couldn't even

395
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,596
get out of here if I wanted to.

396
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,512
No way, man, you ain't
going anywhere. I'm up big.

397
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,732
Come on, man,
keep rolling.

398
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,952
Okay, uh, anything but a seven,
right, guys?

399
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:24,695
Okay. Please, God, a seven.
Please, God, a seven.

400
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:25,827
[all cheer]

401
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,220
Yes! I win again.

402
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:29,222
Get over here,
cheese fingers!

403
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,227
Damn, I knew he was in
over his head.

404
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,229
Hey! Get your hands off of him!

405
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,059
What's your problem, man?

406
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:43,192
I'm not the one
with the problem, you are.

407
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:46,065
Do you have any idea
who you're messing with?

408
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:52,549
No, he does not, and I would
really love to keep it that way.

409
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:55,857
Nah, Dave, this fool
needs to know

410
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:59,121
that you single-handedly
took down an armed robber

411
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,080
at Que's barbershop
yesterday.

412
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,559
What?!

413
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,648
Yeah, that's right.

414
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,041
He whupped the dude's ass
so bad,

415
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,261
he sent him crying to his mama.

416
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,264
Aunt Lorraine?

417
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:16,138
So you're the guy that
got my cousin busted.

418
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,009
Cousin?

419
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,968
Oh, damn.

420
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:23,711
Okay, well, Eddie, yes.

421
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,757
Technically, I am the one who
got your cousin busted,

422
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:29,108
but let's not forget
that I'm also the one

423
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,587
who brought the
charcuterie plate

424
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,763
that everyone has been
raving about.

425
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:35,201
That's it, you're a dead man.

426
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,290
Oh, no, he's not. Ha!

427
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,950
Calvin! You said you didn't
know how to play Frisbee.

428
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:49,737
No, I said Frisbee golf.
Big difference, Dave.

429
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,828
Hey, I'm just gonna take this.

430
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,699
It's probably too oaky
for you guys.

431
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,926
I told you, Dave, you didn't
have to give me a gift.

432
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:07,624
I know, but it's just my way
of saying thank you

433
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,104
for saving my life.

434
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,801
Look, if I hadn't gotten
such a big head,

435
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:11,976
none of this would have
ever happened.

436
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,370
Well, when you put it
like that,

437
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,980
why isn't this bigger?

438
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:23,118
Yahtzee?
You got me Yahtzee?

439
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,207
Okay...

440
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:29,298
Look, I know it's not cool,
like Trey's dice game,

441
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,996
but it's actually really fun
if you give it a chance.

442
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,911
You know what, Dave,

443
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,087
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

444
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:39,221
And that's only because of
what you did at the barbershop,

445
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,005
but...

446
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:44,705
I love Yahtzee, too, man!

447
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,231
What?! First I find out
you Frisbee, and now this?

448
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,015
I know, I should have told you.

449
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:54,018
Are you kidding me?
Yahtzee and Frisbee?

450
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,846
You throw in a cheese tray,
and this is gonna be

451
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,108
the weekend of my life.

452
00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,721
I hope you like a smoked Gouda.

453
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:14,343
Captioning sponsored by
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454
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,389
Captioned by
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