1 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,051 Oh, hey. What are you watching? 2 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,401 Oh, nothing. Now that Malcolm's moved out, 3 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:13,187 I'm deleting all his shows off the DVR. 4 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:16,016 [chuckles]: 60 Minutes,time's up. 5 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,019 Documentary on the rain forest? 6 00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:21,238 Rain, rain, go away. 7 00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:23,110 Friends? 8 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:26,243 I don't recall seeing any of ourpeople on that. 9 00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,028 Hey, hey! 10 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,551 Iwas recording that show. 11 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:32,554 You know I love watching white people invent problems. 12 00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:36,906 I just want the DVR to feel as free as I do. 13 00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:39,604 Like, no more arguments, no more backtalk. 14 00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:42,390 The memory of Malcolm living here is fading faster 15 00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:45,828 than his butt-print on that couch. 16 00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,265 Well, actually, that is exactly 17 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:50,746 what I wanted to talk to you about. 18 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:53,357 Now that Malcolm's gone, we're gonna have 19 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,620 a lot more time where's it's just... 20 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,100 you and me. 21 00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:00,103 Ooh. I get it.Mm-hmm. 22 00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:03,063 So you're saying we could get freaky wherever we want to. 23 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,108 What about... what about this chair? 24 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,762 I mean, or the kitchen? 25 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,416 Maybe over by the fireplace. 26 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:13,116 I mean, where do you want to make our first butt-print? 27 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,900 That is not what I meant. 28 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:17,642 What I mean is, we're free to focus on us. 29 00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,557 You know, try new things, 30 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,559 expand our horizons. 31 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,126 Oh. 32 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,824 Yeah, that just sounds like a fancy way of saying: 33 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:28,392 doing stuff that I don't like. 34 00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:30,829 Aw, come on, baby. 35 00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:33,397 I was looking at community college classes we could take. 36 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,138 Like here. Look. 37 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,184 An Introduction to Drawing. 38 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:41,405 [sighs] Babe, look, I got all the fun I need right here. 39 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,146 I got my chair, I got my remote, 40 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:46,149 and an empty DVR to fill with blooper shows. 41 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,238 I know that God loves all His children, 42 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,546 but clearly, He loves me more. 43 00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,157 Okay, fine. 44 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,028 You could sit at home and do nothing. 45 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:59,293 I am going out and expanding my horizons. 46 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,685 [chuckles] 47 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:03,906 I'm expanding mine, too-- right here in this chair. 48 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:07,039 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 49 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,302 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 50 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,003 This is gonna be so much fun! 51 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,397 [laughs]I can't believe Calvin would rather sit at home 52 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,789 than come with us. 53 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,009 Yeah, his idea of fun is watching blooper shows 54 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,315 with his buddy Ernie. 55 00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:23,578 I just don't understand why men go so nuts 56 00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,624 watching other men get hit in the nuts. 57 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:30,280 Well, his loss is my gain. 58 00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,282 What could be more fun than spending an evening 59 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,327 with my best friend, 60 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,198 doing art and drinking wine? 61 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,243 Oh. 62 00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,461 What are you talking about? 63 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,115 They're not serving wine.I know. 64 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,291 But I am. 65 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:46,383 Just when I thought I knew you, more ghetto shows up. 66 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,562 Okay. Welcome to Introduction to Drawing. 67 00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,869 I'm your instructor, Deborah. 68 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,958 I apologize in advance. 69 00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,568 We were supposed to kick off tonight 70 00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,962 sketching a bowl of fruit, but my boyfriend was too busy 71 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:03,052 playing video games to swing by Trader Joe's. 72 00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,795 So instead, we're gonna skip right to figure drawing. 73 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,623 Please welcome our model, 74 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,059 Antonio. 75 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:16,065 Gemma, this guy's just wearing a robe. 76 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,948 Not anymore. 77 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,779 Bishop takes knight. 78 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,651 Or, as I like to call it, 79 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,087 "bish, please." 80 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,698 Well, call it what you want, but... 81 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,309 checkmate. 82 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,919 Ha-ha! 83 00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,008 Son of a bish! 84 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,879 Guys, you are never gonna believe 85 00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,881 what I found in the basement. 86 00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,970 [coughs, groans] 87 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,363 Um, what'd you find? 88 00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:55,235 It's an old manuscript for a book Walter wrote. 89 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,280 He must have forgotten it when he moved out. 90 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,368 Seriously? 91 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,240 That cranky old dude wrote a book? 92 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,589 What is it? 93 00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,808 Calling People Dummies For Dummies? 94 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:06,202 Actually, I think it's a mystery novel. 95 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,552 Check out the title. [clears throat] 96 00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:11,599 Dead Because of Murder. 97 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,515 Ha! Well, if the murder weapon 98 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,822 was a terrible title, I think we found it. 99 00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,389 [chuckles] Yeah, you know what? 100 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,782 Read a little bit, Marty. 101 00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:22,914 Oh, this is gonna be hilarious. 102 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,395 Okay, here we go. Chapter one. 103 00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:28,311 "Standing there in the rain, lightning streaked the sky. 104 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,487 "I stared at the woman in the red dress 105 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:31,923 "and knew three things-- 106 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,926 "she was young, she was gorgeous, 107 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,059 and she was dead." 108 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,628 Damn, Walter, that's pretty good. 109 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:41,846 Are you kidding me? 110 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,108 It's great. 111 00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:46,024 That old son of a bish can write. 112 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,809 Yeah, keep reading, Marty. 113 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,158 Oh, don't worry, man, there's no way 114 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,464 I'm putting this down now. 115 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,642 To us.Out loud, 116 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:56,208 Marty, come on.To us, Marty. 117 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,343 [loud clack on TV] 118 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:01,475 Oh!Ooh! 119 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,433 Ooh, a bat to the crotch. 120 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,783 That is hard to look at. 121 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,872 Yeah, I know. Let's watch it again. 122 00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:08,786 Yeah. 123 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,048 [loud clack] 124 00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,354 Oh!Aah! 125 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,790 Oh-ho-ho!Oh... 126 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,488 Hey, babe. Hi, Ernie. 127 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:15,924 Hey, Tina. 128 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,708 Hi, baby. How was your art class? 129 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,928 Ugh. It was crazy. You're not gonna believe this, 130 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,799 but we had a nude model. 131 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,324 Nude? Oh. How nude are we talking? 132 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,674 North of the border, south of the border, 133 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,980 or the whole country? 134 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,982 Well, let's just say I saw everything 135 00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,767 from sea to shining sea. 136 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:34,334 ERNIE: Oh-ho, 137 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:37,598 in that case, allow me to take a peruse of the map. 138 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:38,990 Oh. Okay. 139 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,341 There we go. 140 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:42,994 Wait. Hold on. 141 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,996 This ain't no damn model. 142 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,998 It's a naked dude! 143 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,609 What? 144 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:51,176 I know. I mean, I was surprised, too, 145 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,831 but I did a really good job. Look, Calvin. 146 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,920 Uh, yeah, almost too good. 147 00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:58,488 Baby, you're not even looking at it. 148 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,970 Well, I will when you draw him some pants. 149 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,188 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. 150 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,625 You didn't know that your wife 151 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:07,367 was gonna be staring at a naked dude all night? 152 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,718 Talk about a bat to the crotch. 153 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,372 It's not like that, Ernie. 154 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,243 There's nothing sexual about it. 155 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,854 It's just, to an artist, he's a beautiful specimen 156 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,378 of the human form. 157 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:21,816 Mm-hmm. You can say it's not sexual all you want, 158 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,383 but all my ex-wives 159 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,167 would have left me for that. 160 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,082 And I just mean the picture. 161 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,477 Hey, are you cool with this, Calvin? 162 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,347 Well, you know... 163 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,088 Of course he's cool with it. 164 00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:34,872 He's not insecure like you, Ernie. 165 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,831 He's not threatened by this. 166 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,006 Right, Calvin? 167 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,399 Of course not.Yeah. 168 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,271 Huh. Why would I be threatened by him? 169 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,534 I mean, any man that works out that much 170 00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:48,233 and is willing to pose nude in front of strangers, well, 171 00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:51,367 he's the one that's insecure. 172 00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:54,718 See? 173 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,677 My baby gets it. Mwah! 174 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,940 [chuckles] 175 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,595 What? 176 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:05,120 Notice she took the picture with her. 177 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,001 Oh, man. This is intense. 178 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,438 I know. 179 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:21,353 I may need you to walk me home tonight. 180 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,444 Will you two be quiet? 181 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,011 I'm about to find out who the killer is. 182 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,451 Hold up. The box is empty. 183 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,234 What? 184 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,453 The last page is missing! 185 00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,455 Just like the chauffeur's left eye! 186 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,587 Are you kidding me? 187 00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:40,111 No, man, the very last line says... 188 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:43,071 uh, "Standing there, bloody knife in hand, 189 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,203 was none other than..." 190 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,988 And then there's no more! 191 00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,600 Oh, man, this sucks. 192 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,428 We just spent 12 hours reading a whodunit, 193 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,996 and we don't get to find out who done it? 194 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,954 This is so frustrating. 195 00:07:56,998 --> 00:08:01,568 O-Okay, you guys, it's not that big a deal. 196 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,135 I think it's pretty obvious to all of us that the killer 197 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,310 was the personal chef. 198 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:06,486 What?!What?! 199 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,488 No, man, it was clearly the pool boy. 200 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,185 That's why there were bloody fingerprints 201 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,622 all over the inflatable swan. 202 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,406 You're both crazy. 203 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,714 It was obviously the bastard son who was cut out of the will, 204 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,716 whose name was Will... 205 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,675 which was kind of confusing for a while! 206 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:24,199 It was definitely not Will.Of course it was Will! 207 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,506 [overlapping shouting]An inflatable swan? 208 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,508 Okay, okay. 209 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,163 Clearly, there is only one person 210 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,731 who knows for sure what the answer is. 211 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,211 And that's Walter. 212 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,169 Yeah, but we have no idea where he is. 213 00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,475 Yeah, all we know 214 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,085 is he moved to a retirement community 215 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:44,219 in Palm Springs, and there's got to be hundreds of them. 216 00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,742 Okay, gentlemen, well... 217 00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:48,528 sounds like we have a mystery of our own to solve. 218 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,660 But first lock the door-- they just found 219 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,054 the chauffeur's missing eye, and I am freakin' out! 220 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,541 Oh, hey, babe. Whatcha doing? 221 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,586 Working some more on my sketch. 222 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:07,024 Oh. So you're still doing that thing I'm totally cool with 223 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,549 that doesn't bother me at all? 224 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,379 I was looking at it again, and thought I could do a better job 225 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,077 of shading Antonio's muscles out. 226 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,382 Oh. 227 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,210 Antonio? 228 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,735 I'm guessing you didn't get that off a name tag. 229 00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:27,784 You know, for some reason, I just can't get this right. 230 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,264 Oh, well, it'll be easier 231 00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,353 when I see him at class tonight. 232 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,311 Uh, he's gonna be there again? 233 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,226 Yeah. For the next couple of sessions. 234 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,359 Last night was about basic form. 235 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,100 Tonight we'll get more into detail. 236 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,624 Well, how much more detail do you need? 237 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:44,366 I can already tell the guy's religion. 238 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,590 Wait a second, now. What's going on? 239 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,070 I thought you said you were cool with this. 240 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,289 Well, I was... 241 00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:56,465 until he's got a name 242 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,120 and you're doing all this shading of muscles 243 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,643 and highlighting. 244 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,428 You know what, I'm starting to think Ernie might be right. 245 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:05,430 [scoffs] What? Are you serious? 246 00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:07,302 You're gonna listen to Ernie? 247 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,304 That man's been married five times. 248 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,699 He's got more rings than LeBron James. 249 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,352 Exactly. 250 00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,137 Which is why he knows the signs. 251 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:19,183 And one of them is when your wife starts hanging out 252 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:22,186 with a dude that's hanging out. 253 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,189 So what are you saying? 254 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:28,715 I'm saying that you're not going back to that art class. 255 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,281 Oh. Excuse me? 256 00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,718 No, I mean it, Tina. 257 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,676 I don't want you spending time with this guy. 258 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,287 And I don't want you telling me what I can and can't do. 259 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,376 [chuckles]: Oh, isn't that rich. 260 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,640 You can tell me 261 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:41,858 what I can't do, 262 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:44,513 but I can't tell you what you can't cannot do 263 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,471 if you was trying to do something and I said, "No," 264 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:49,257 and you said, "Yes, I can," and I said, "No, you can't." 265 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,565 You know what I mean. 266 00:10:57,831 --> 00:11:00,529 No. But what I know is 267 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:03,663 you cannot not stop me from not doing what I want! 268 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:07,101 Wait, wait a minute. Are you going or not? 269 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:09,625 'Cause I need to know if I won this argument. 270 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:19,635 All right, I'm meeting Gemma for dinner, then going to art class. 271 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,072 Have fun watching your stupid blooper shows. 272 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:25,946 Well, actually, we're not watching blooper shows tonight. 273 00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,644 We realize we've been close-minded, 274 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:33,649 so we've decided to partake of some art ourselves. 275 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,651 Oh, really? Where? 276 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,610 The Wiggle Palace on 40th Street. 277 00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:43,528 So much classier than the Jiggle Barn on 12th. 278 00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:45,095 [both laugh] 279 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,575 Seriously, Calvin? 280 00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,490 You're trying to tell me that going to a strip club 281 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,753 is the same as going to art class? 282 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,233 Isn't it? 283 00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,409 I mean, it's like you said. 284 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890 They're all just beautiful specimens 285 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,153 of human form. 286 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,894 Besides, Ernie tells me there's a girl there 287 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:02,983 by the name of Monet. 288 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:07,727 That's right, that's right. She, uh, she works in oils. 289 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:08,989 [chuckles] 290 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,860 Fine, do what you want. 291 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,515 But you're acting like a child. 292 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:14,690 No, I'm not. 293 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,474 And even if I was, it wouldn't matter, 294 00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:19,782 because the Wiggle Palace has a day care! 295 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,265 All right, buddy, you ready? 296 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:27,790 Let's go give some "mo-ney" to Monet. 297 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,531 Forget it, Ernie. 298 00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:32,012 We ain't going to no damn Wiggle Palace. 299 00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,405 Wh-What? 300 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:37,887 No, I was just trying to bluff Tina to make a point. 301 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,671 Now I got to think of something else. 302 00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:43,284 Trust me, Calvin, just-just let her do her thing. 303 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,155 She'll get over it. 304 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,331 Or she'll never come home. 305 00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,073 I've had wives do both. 306 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:55,035 Okay. So, our missing person 307 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,819 is Walter Brown. 308 00:12:56,863 --> 00:13:00,214 Yes. Last seen driving off in a moving van 309 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,782 while giving us all the finger. 310 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,349 We know 311 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,004 he moved to one of 87 retirement communities 312 00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,266 in Palm Springs, 313 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,660 but that is where the trail goes cold. 314 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:13,227 I mean, I don't know if this gives us anything, 315 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,795 but I'm pretty sure Walter is left-handed. 316 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:18,798 Or at least left-fingered. 317 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,060 Wait a second. 318 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,104 That's it. 319 00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,802 Oh, what? What's it? 320 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,151 Fingers. 321 00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:26,370 "Don't Lift a Finger Moving Company." 322 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,850 It was written on the side of the truck. 323 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,156 We should call them. 324 00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:30,461 Yeah, but they're not gonna give out 325 00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:31,854 personal information to just anyone. 326 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:34,857 Which is why I'm not gonna be just anyone. 327 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,294 I'm gonna be Walter. 328 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,906 Oh. So, you telling us 329 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,473 that you're gonna do Black voice? 330 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:50,830 On second thought, one of you should do it. 331 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,402 [imitating Walter]: Yeah, hey. This is Walter Brown. 332 00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:01,275 One of you jackasses lost my damn ottoman. 333 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:05,279 Well, where the hell did you deliver it to? 334 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:08,021 Rancho La Vista Senior Living, 335 00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:09,936 unit 31-B. 336 00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:13,591 Oh, never mind. Here it is, right under my feet. Bye. 337 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,900 Boys, looks like we're going to Palm Springs. 338 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,554 Hell yeah, jackasses! 339 00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,383 [regular voice]: Sorry, I was still in character. 340 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:27,431 Seriously? He thinks going to a strip club 341 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,564 is the same thing as going to an art class? 342 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,262 I know. It's like comparing apples to oranges. 343 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,526 Or, in the case of Antonio, bananas. 344 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,661 Well, don't let Calvin's negativity ruin your night. 345 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,882 For the next two hours, don't even think about him. 346 00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,628 Which suddenly became much harder to do. 347 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,939 Calvin, what? What are you doing here? 348 00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,201 Isn't it obvious? 349 00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,900 I'm the model for tonight's class. 350 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,994 What did you do to Antonio? 351 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,430 I bought him off. 352 00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,780 I gave him 40 bucks and a free oil change. 353 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,782 Ironically, he was so oiled up, 354 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,392 he dropped the coupon. [chuckles] 355 00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:18,134 You are unbelievable. 356 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,180 What's wrong, Tina? 357 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,617 It's like you said. It's only art. 358 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:27,056 And we both know I'm packing one hell of an exhibit. 359 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,973 You know what? Maybe I'll just sketch my shoes tonight. 360 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,541 If you need me, I'll be the one looking straight down. 361 00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,023 Oh, please, Calvin. 362 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,459 We both know there is no way 363 00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,896 you're actually gonna go through with this. 364 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,246 [chuckles] Oh, really? 365 00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:50,340 Okay. That's it. 366 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,039 I want to talk to you in the hallway now. 367 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,911 Okay. Make it quick. All right, it's cold out there, 368 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,913 and I got to model in a few minutes. 369 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,265 Okay, this is it. 31-B. 370 00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,963 I hope he's home. 371 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,661 It's 8:30. Where else would he be?Are you kidding me? 372 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,576 They have shuffleboard, aqua aerobics 373 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:09,881 and a puzzle room here. 374 00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,580 If you over 70, this place is lit. 375 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,930 [laughs]: Hey! 376 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,323 Walter! 377 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,934 It's us. It is nice to see you. 378 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,588 What the hell are you doing here? 379 00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,459 When I moved out, didn't you see me 380 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,895 give you the finger? 381 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,942 Yes, Walter. But, you know, 382 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,423 we came to tell you that we found your book 383 00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:30,859 in the basement.MALCOLM: Yeah. 384 00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,383 We all read it, and it was amazing. 385 00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:34,428 Really? 386 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,082 Yeah. The only problem is 387 00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,605 when we got to the end, 388 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,259 the last page was missing.DAVE: Yeah, 389 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,738 which is why we need you 390 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,610 to tell us who the killer is. 391 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,307 Well, since you guys went through all of the trouble 392 00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:46,048 of tracking me down, the least I can do 393 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,789 is tell you who it is. 394 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:50,270 For all the cash you got in your wallets. 395 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,446 What? What? 396 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,448 Yeah, you heard me. My name ain't Google. 397 00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,015 Information ain't free. 398 00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,280 All right, fine. Fine. Fine. 399 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,630 We will give you the money. 400 00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,284 DAVE: All right, Walter. 401 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,982 Tell them that the killer 402 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,636 was the chef. 403 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,464 Oh, no, no, no. He means the pool boy. 404 00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,466 It was the bastard son, right? 405 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,903 You're all wrong. 406 00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:17,297 The murderer... 407 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,907 is the butler. 408 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,692 Who? The butler?[stammers] 409 00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,651 Well, there's no butler in the book. 410 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,000 Oh, well, sure, there is. In the very first chapter, 411 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,784 he opens the door for the detective. 412 00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:28,221 But that's the only time he appears 413 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:29,744 in the entire book. He doesn't even speak! 414 00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:32,181 Exactly. That's why he's the very last person 415 00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:34,575 you'd ever suspect. 416 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,011 Pretty good, right? 417 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,492 No, it's not pretty good! 418 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,494 It's a "screw you" to the reader! 419 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,017 Why can't it be both? 420 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,411 Oh, this is ridiculous. 421 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:45,934 Yeah, any one of us could've written 422 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,370 a better ending than that. 423 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,719 Yeah, maybe. 424 00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:51,461 But would anybody pay you 200 bucks to hear it? 425 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:55,509 I didn't think so. The end. 426 00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,382 [groans] 427 00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,384 I can't believe we drove all this way for that. 428 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,473 And we got to drive all the way back. 429 00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,128 But you know what we can do on our way home? 430 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,912 We can write our own ending to the book. 431 00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:11,133 I was gonna say play "I spy," 432 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,309 but that is a way better idea. 433 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:17,270 What is going on with you? 434 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,185 And why are you acting so crazy? 435 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:22,449 No, no, what's crazy is my wife rushing out every night 436 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,885 to look at a naked guy 437 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,626 when she's got a perfectly good one 438 00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:27,932 sitting at home watching TV. 439 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,630 You are ridiculous. 440 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:30,935 What do you think I'm gonna do, 441 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,894 run off with some model half my age? 442 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:35,462 What do you think I am, a man? 443 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,987 Of course not. I don't think you're gonna run off with him. 444 00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,423 I just liked it better 445 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,122 when the only man you were thinking about was me. 446 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,298 [scoffs] Are you kidding? 447 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:48,257 Baby, you are the only man I think about. 448 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,085 You know the first thing that popped in my head 449 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,043 the minute that guy dropped his robe? 450 00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:55,003 Yeah, I got a good guess. 451 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,093 It wasn't that. 452 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,617 It was that I wish you were there with me. 453 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,010 It was? 454 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,317 Yeah. Then I would've seen the look on your face 455 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,101 and you would've seen the look on mine, 456 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,148 and we would've laughed our asses off together. 457 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,976 I mean, 'cause you know when that guy took off his robe, 458 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,196 I would've said something really, really hilarious. 459 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,807 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. 460 00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:18,374 And then I would've laughed too loud 461 00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,376 and fell out on the floor.I mean, who could blame you? 462 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:23,336 It's my biggest flaw. I'm just too damn funny. 463 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:24,902 [laughs] 464 00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,208 You see, babe? 465 00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:27,731 This is what I'm talking about. 466 00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:30,473 When I said I wanted to go out and do fun stuff together, 467 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,910 it wasn't about the stuff. 468 00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:35,739 The fun part was doing it with you. 469 00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,437 Mm. 470 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,178 I'm sorry, babe. 471 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,528 I should've come with you. 472 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,834 The next time you want to do something together, 473 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,272 I promise, I will. 474 00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:48,404 Thank you.[chuckles] 475 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,322 So, what do you say? You ready to get out of here? 476 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,847 Yeah, but we're leaving the class without a model. 477 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,066 Don't worry, I got it. 478 00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,328 Okay.Yeah. 479 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,591 Hey, Ernie. 480 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:04,333 You want to make 40 bucks and get a free oil change? 481 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,560 Oh, damn. 482 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,691 Crazy, huh? 483 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,824 Oh, no.Oh, yes. 484 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,739 Get out of town. 485 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,132 We actually had to. 486 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,571 Okay, so, what do you think? 487 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:27,269 [chuckles] I thought it was great.[whispers]: Yes. 488 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,531 Up until the ending. 489 00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,272 What? 490 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:34,276 I mean, the personal chef, the pool boy andthe bastard son 491 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,365 all committed the murders together? 492 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:39,586 What idiot would come up with that? 493 00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:42,632 Are you... 494 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,678 Are you kidding? It was great. 495 00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:47,289 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the ending pulled the whole story together. 496 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,204 Yeah, it's way better than what Walter had. 497 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,598 Well, the ending's all wrong. 498 00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:55,297 The killer was obviously the shady-ass butler. 499 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,038 I knew that 500 00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:58,822 the minute he opened the door. 501 00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:06,961 Captioning sponsored by CBS 502 00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:08,267 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org